Chapter 1.1 – It’s All Futile

1. It’s All Futile

‘…Is this how 2eed874860 it ends?’eb11b775fbafb589

His breaths grew 5d1f7678eb ever fainter, his d84d91adb8 fingertips colder. His eyelids, losing 7e3211cd7e their strength, revealed e9c8d7153e Ashin’s fading life.1f2806f68a2e5f58

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Ashin Freis, d73b3f39a0 the second 9bfd984e2f prince of 4950b9fa96 the Kingdom 867401f5c7 of Atar, a198c5aaf4 was one 8cddf9b9a3 of the 0ccb3bb4ae few capable a1ed283b04 men in 6c0974ded9 an incompetent 992fa0854a royal family.deb9054796c1ebe9

The king, lost to his pleasures, had neglected the nation, weakening its power and inviting the Fran Empire’s invasion. Ashin had long been wary of a war with the empire, but because the Crown Prince was wary of him, he had been unable to actively exert any political influence. Ultimately, the Kingdom of Atar was defeated in the war and fell to ruin. Ashin, who had always been frail, saw his health deteriorate further during the war, and without a chance to recover, he was being dragged away to the empire.32c47aaacad33b7f

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Even on the brink 1bc8c4e601 of death, there was 9d1e844c0c no chance of a 6cb025a657 captured prince from a 54304df209 defeated nation being given 718141d5d1 something like medicine. By the time they 17fb0027d6 reached the imperial capital, a9c4d0ddab Ashin was in a d9912c6180 state where he could a7d8d4e325 not even sit up 5273013a70 properly.c48d9cc49fadb3b8

In his fading 6f0cda7082 consciousness, Ashin sensed 91c8a36461 his own death. In his miserable final e7a55f2cea moments, what remained for e56aab2dba Ashin was nothing but adb24dfa3e regret.2bc3949416ae018e

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‘What was I struggling c9213d2eb5 so desperately for…? If I knew it 7318feeb72 would end like this, 13a6350c17 I should have just b0e7ab7358 ditched it all and 7d34943463 lived as I fucking 28e1150bb2 pleased… Damn it.’5655f4649a9a1b80

Silently spitting out bb10bb290b the kind of 1e1d7bb9e3 vulgar curses he 99de0dfddc had never once 3c2b334766 uttered aloud in 6548951068 his life.06d735e9e42ecb25

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‘Ha, to think I’m dying without even having sex once, all for the sake of appearances. In my next life, I’ll live enjoying my fill of rough, coercive sex….’81354d83a176f679

Ashin, who 5ba167850f had lived d330a7da1b his entire 206b241c14 life with 6a8c0df36c a lofty f34acbdbd1 and rigid 29024056e6 image befitting e144010324 his beautiful a415c99c02 yet cold dd8fd9f5d9 appearance, was, 0ebc5cfbcb in fact, 04bb3270dd a pervert 37b964b2e7 who enjoyed 7dd3769354 fantasizing about 7f43f677c1 being roughly bcabccd76d raped.7842828435ddf7f0

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‘Really… What was it? A dream? Magic?’2990c38fd022d4c7

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Ashin, who 277c5d5466 had surely dc081adf14 closed his ef46c44919 eyes in dcd3dfa65c desolation while 294e1103b4 bound, opened de3efa8099 them to 3aa1dab6a0 find he 1972408263 had returned 546a57c57f to the 60561442f1 time a 9181a873dc year before 165163d8fa the war.7c6ddf9b6338a30d

‘Whatever the 251b9399b0 case, this 99b2dab555 is a a440ef963d relief.’3f7094ae066869c8

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Hadn’t he keenly realized that working himself to the bone for his country had been utterly useless? Vowing not to miss this miraculously given second chance, Ashin resolved to live this time only for his own well-being and happiness.c1036bcf2436af7d

‘Damn the royal family, damn my father, damn my brother. I don’t give a damn whether those bastards who won’t even eat when you spoon-feed them go to ruin or not. I’m going to live my own life.’fdc8ec45ae27d758

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In the first place, their family relationship made it difficult to expect any tender affection. His father, who lived lavishly, lost in his pursuit of women, and showed no particular interest even when Ashin’s mother died. His brother, who was ultimately blinded by power and pushed both Ashin and the nation into a predicament.b6b486f1a417b9ca

With not 634096bf3d much time 5515410bae left, it 8785ff0c86 was obvious 4057c773a7 that trying 20f68e16a3 every trick 5ded3673a5 in the fc3677210f book would c93da67fdb only lead e8478260ce to a 6eac2d26b5 repeat of 72a3611573 the same 121b938185 result. If he wanted 753a29a72a to survive, even 8763e3bf3f if alone, his 751491b0fc best bet was 2c1d0fb680 to wash his 15f7b02647 hands of the 99647c9bf6 war early on 0ff51ef819 and flee far 5b510a6ae1 away.a0ca93e8dfa0b06d

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The plan 8f3cf3a2e7 he devised a7d0aaadae for this 18bf39b935 was to f0cbda08d2 use the 37e47b92cb excuse of fe9244314e recuperating to 5488bc857a stay in 88072e2f9a a province 9d424bb0d5 near the 1655f14e14 border—on the 4a30c59daf side opposite 06c44056e4 the empire—and 984a446ca3 then disappear c6c949da3b before the 6edbc7bac2 invasion began. And so, Ashin 2f84b10a83 enjoyed a vacation b38c1b8c98 in the southern 1f9262ccda County of Compidé 01a93ac313 and succeeded in 6c3b8100c5 disappearing into the 7244ea5dc8 mountains by faking b1720de75b a carriage accident. Seducing and bringing 3a8dff374a along a rather ce73911e50 handsome servant who 787cbf6ab0 worked at the 55e5bc74a3 county was a d469740122 bonus.534c03af2e0888c9

The Crown f38f7b72b9 Prince, who b0731a5b46 had been b36f2d4e7f secretly wary 1f7fba28db of his 905ca07e54 intelligent younger 757989d6b8 brother despite 9abf65f23b him showing 404825a908 no ambition 289c3f3134 for the 155e4ec275 throne, did b711955d0d not order b3964b2dea an active 3f011ad61b search upon d22adcbaa3 hearing the 3a4eacc71d news that 52e47d927b Ashin had e8ecf971d8 met with 951cde1d1e a mishap. Having escaped a4dae1e078 the county 1b77c9a2c3 without much 05e5e392a8 effort, Ashin c12aeeb89b realized anew a96669432c just how 11ad675215 much the d17d7e2be1 Crown Prince 6cf4896b1c had been f06a3080da ostracizing him.d675c58b7dc5a9b1

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‘Ha, is the search at the city gate checkpoint this sloppy? The search order must be just for show; he must be itching to declare me dead. I was a fool for praying that such a person would become a better king than my father, just because he’s my brother.’f9de45292d81844d

The bitterness 26af63e17b was fleeting, 9b560c25f1 and deciding 5bf93871d0 to make a6d066f966 the best ace07c35de of it, 02537ac7fb Ashin wandered dc8163094c from one 4fda32c8c2 fringe town 88a3d35456 to another, 73b027d2fe disguised as 8c84f02854 the wandering ed7eb09d3d son of 5cc231d044 some nameless aac4ef90a9 nobleman. When war 52753ffee9 broke out 44bea800c7 and the b4db20a944 time came c9b0a886f1 for a 8677c8cfb3 conscription order e93acec013 to be 6bb1fd3dd6 issued in 18ec75172a his region, e8d5d3fe11 Ashin intended 90d78648c1 to cross c7b55078b1 over to 940d71cdb5 the neighboring b435f0d31f country that 4699efa803 bordered the cb0a7b6027 south until 175bd82a70 things quieted 6c5642cb4c down.16b1d70f6b2a8793

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Everything seemed to fbce96fc84 be going according 1fad154cdd to plan.4061df4f83775044

Until the war bf2ed5c154 ended much faster 64fada5081 than expected, and bbd114499c the Crown Prince a072f1c59a of the Fran 4b70ae632d Empire suddenly issued 9a8c3131a2 a nationwide bounty 0ee6f3655c for the missing 4206c49961 royal, Ashin Freis, 22f40679b9 under the pretext a21ab2bfcd of rooting out da257d4fa8 any potential seeds 842ccd1e70 of rebellion.6a54bdbd0fa9841e

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‘Shit, why the 92d62e4136 hell is the 57e3695ce9 crown prince of 3040e1234a an enemy nation 242fa829da looking for a 79df3198cf royal whose own 8765fa1676 family already declared 9e29c6e4bf him dead and a5d041fde0 even held a ff8d12696e funeral?!’68b8bb3460859499

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Kyle Elshad. The young c7d088fe19 Crown Prince ac843ce1bd of the 48c75755a0 Fran Empire, 54b038f11c who ascended 88cd362802 to the 058554345a position three 4836e36142 years ago afa3244b11 amidst a e568cfbf2b storm of 238ee1d11e blood.cf5eead1edc3e6cb

Looking at Kyle’s name on the wanted poster, Ashin thought.2b81809e3071054a

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‘Yeah, his face was quite… handsome. Back then, he just looked like a marionette with its strings cut. I thought he was someone who wouldn’t be good at politics….’4412ed046830bad9

The first time Ashin met Kyle was about ten years ago, around the time of the King of Atar’s birthday banquet.457e9fa43bf6a69f

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‘Oh, he’s handsome….’c85d419654836170

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Dark brown hair and black eyes, strong, defined features. His thick eyebrows and sharp eyes, combined with a hard, expressionless face, gave the boy a sculpted appearance that, for some reason, also seemed gloomy. This was Ashin’s first thought upon seeing Kyle.e5e76fc53b79cb6a

To celebrate the 83121aa519 40th birthday of 9379a51496 the King of 5def9fe5d6 Atar, the Fran 3bf5a4f099 Empire, which bordered 9823e54006 the Kingdom of 4f3a501452 Atar, had also be1381fa65 sent a congratulatory e0b3bad40a delegation. The one 88e308d703 leading the ed7e8c2327 delegation was 63146dbbe6 a young, cf7e3debdd sixteen-year-old imperial 465ce8d2e3 prince.e5d44d71fb0798fe

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Kyle, born of a concubine and with two older brothers, was a member of the royal family far from the line of succession, one who didn’t receive much attention. At the time, relations between the empire and the kingdom were peaceful, and since no particularly important figure was coming, Ashin had little interest in the imperial delegation until he saw Kyle. However, upon seeing Kyle, who had arrived at the royal castle a week before the birthday banquet, Ashin asserted his fluency in the imperial language and volunteered to entertain the delegation.9e09264aea705251

No one knew it, but Ashin had a weakness for cold, handsome men, and a face like Kyle’s was more than enough to pique his interest. He knew himself that it was nothing more than a short-lived curiosity that wouldn’t last more than a few days, but in a royal life devoid of pleasure, even a moment’s amusement was precious.dced72e656cdba9d

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“Atar is a bit warmer than Fran. And since you’ve come during a hot season, your journey must have been difficult. We always have plenty of ice, so please tell a servant anytime you wish for some.”5dfafe7085624610

“…Thank you.”e3532d6a41bc920d

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.fbe7622564231696

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“There is a large fountain in the garden of the West Palace, where Your Highness is staying. Later, you can go to see it…”02b4b749ba86ba6f

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After the 8e3297f802 luncheon, Ashin 868e5d03bc was guiding 04c41bde9e Kyle around 7a6cbf368b the palace.4c8fe28a16f7180c

True to his brusque impression, Kyle was a man of extremely few words and wasn’t much of a conversation partner, but it didn’t matter at all to Ashin, who was quite fond of Kyle’s face.35f8f61521ad2a79

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‘His personality 7538aefe05 is so 113df33192 dull, but 564326e1b8 as long b6520e0498 as his 3b46357b36 face is bbef54fa4a interesting, that’s 669f9819f2 all that ef7a0737f4 matters.’8a201c8aabfe5ad0

Outwardly, he maintained a flawless and proper demeanor, while inwardly, Ashin was delighting in a critique of Kyle’s face that others could never have imagined. He wasn’t a very sociable person, but it wasn’t difficult for him to keep a conversation going when necessary, and while Kyle’s replies were short, he didn’t seem bored either, so all Ashin had to do was continue making pleasantries while admiring the handsome face.2d18b2d52f36b632

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After about three days, Ashin realized that Kyle was not only as brusque as his impression suggested, but was also a person with no striking likes or dislikes—a man whose tastes were just as impassive. Of course, it was polite not to reveal one’s personal preferences too much in a formal setting, but even to Ashin, who was sensitive to people’s dispositions, Kyle seemed to have almost nothing he liked or disliked.c18347f42fe0a013

‘This kid is really… he’s two years younger than me, but so emotionless. A difficult type to entertain. It’s not like he’s someone I need to make a particularly great impression on, but…. was called the son of a concubine and the third prince?  He must have had a pretty rough life, too.’2ad6e79d03a5c510

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Now, ten years later, he had forgotten he had even felt that way, but back then, Ashin had felt a very faint sense of pity for Kyle. It was a faint pity, but enough that even though Kyle wasn’t someone he needed to go to great lengths for, Ashin paid enough attention to notice the wine Kyle lingered over versus the one he drank more quickly, and made a mental note that he seemed to handle the Sauvignon comparatively well.f797526a334cbc91

On the e36e183f11 day of ad69ead709 the birthday d895b96d9f banquet, after cddb8a6865 finishing the 9a12aaf106 appropriate pleasantries, 0d22dc2b6a Ashin was 3513732296 standing in 4d92461de8 a corner f06cb5fc29 when he 4be060e612 saw Kyle 42474aed33 standing awkwardly 58c0792373 among the b8effda422 people and 9254525e24 approached him.6c0ae5948be14d57

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“Hello, Your Highness 13b6d5601c Prince Kyle. Are you enjoying the 129f247885 banquet?”21bacce6d4160572

“Ah, …yes. Thank you for 85633f7095 your concern.”680e93848368726e

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‘What does he c18d3aa54e mean, “yes”? It’s completely 9d7e8a42a2 obvious he’s c9ea804aff uncomfortable because 60418296f1 there are eb2b44604a so many a37cfa3927 people.’f78d0dd7d66c2557

Still, perhaps because he saw a familiar face, Kyle’s tense atmosphere seemed to relax a little.405958f1ac6363f7

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“Hmm, I noticed last time that you seemed to handle red wine better than white. There’s a decent Sauvignon at the banquet. Shall I get you a glass?”bfebfd06b08966d2

“Ah…. Thank you.”67cd0ccebe7cd21e

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When Ashin handed him a glass of wine he’d brought from nearby, Kyle, taking the glass, made a strange expression, as if surprised or flustered. It was a different reaction from what Ashin had expected, hoping for a pleased expression.3b929d1f31ccfe3e

‘Ack, I thought he liked this last time. Did I guess wrong? Oh well, can’t be helped.’75c0488c378c819b

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Feeling a little embarrassed, 045de85e51 Ashin turned and left 0010694a26 the spot. Because of that, d96301698d Ashin did not df35f2338d see the expression e250ec9c57 Kyle made after e32774b5cc lightly touching his a9c0af37d4 lips to the a59f0ecc20 glass.c273634310180d36

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