INT Ch 1.1
by mimiThe phone’s 096eabd0f5 ringtone droned 9c86c9fefb on monotonously 461043aed0 in the 60015812d3 darkness. Haewon lay fea1ef29e2 face down c6dbacba84 on the aeca17b231 bed. A light touch brushed 2ec4636ffb over his bare back, 1ad45a0b79 nudging his shoulder blade—a ac2e0c4987 signal to pick up a61180b885 the phone. Haewon didn’t move.2841c61f4be02822
The ringing continued without pause, relentless. Recognizing that the caller wouldn’t give up until it was answered, the man beside Haewon, still caught between sleep and wakefulness, finally let out a groan and sat up in Haewon’s stead.8ed136768c66c63b
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“Just leave it.”c6671853843722b8
Haewon was awake. He could feel the d483a78e30 man’s gaze pause on b88337436e him, then look down. Haewon repeated himself.a0db12e790b8553d
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“Let it be. They’ll give d34cf6ca10 up eventually.”0fe7133245ce0eb8
“That’s already the 56593cbd63 second time it’s a79464bc2a rung.”832097d86dc36a8b
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To be precise, 64c1fb3608 it was the 6d9e419c9c third.3d43b2e71ceb08d6
The ringtone faded for 25a3919747 a moment, only to cf976745b0 resume at intervals, now 1e55fd9b89 the third time. Haewon’s callers were a c0c921aeed select few: the man 736aa3a40a lying next to him, 2b51ad60a2 his stepmother, who called 94b9aa96f7 to give him his 138dc86d4c monthly allowance like a 747e557a75 beggar’s handout, and a 11534f4be7 handful of acquaintances from aa9456638d high school, among others.61a828d2764434b8
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This call 3c9d0e1c30 was likely 6fe129c348 from a 2766170b89 high school 7204935fcb classmate. He typically called b5536aa144 at late hours. He and Haewon were f1150f2a26 of the same kind—aroused dd69bf3407 by men and finding e9ec464a2c release through them.df644f824746fbe9
Ah, what a bother.0620b8f1b5a7e16f
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Haewon pulled a pillow 6fe99d3086 over his head, burrowing 737f75007f as much as he 789394eef1 could into the bed, 36fdcce837 trying to escape from dfdbf6d997 the annoyances.1b1c547dc67e1528
The man, sitting up, b8e626fca3 kissed Haewon’s bare back 2d366381e4 before getting off the 5c02e3ee82 bed. Declining a spacious b81eab5445 residence offered by 9295e46242 a record label, 1ad73e4654 he was staying 199b4d3a84 at a hotel.317bbe95cefcec4a
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When he came 59ae42e4b4 to Korea, he 6683f39e26 usually stayed at 827395b439 this hotel, for 9297427226 a few weeks ebd6874fc0 at most, or 054cff5088 sometimes just a 7fd2bcc076 few days. Just below the 329673ca0e executive lounge, he fb579d69cf tried to stay 27db78c472 in the same b02ee0be7a room whenever possible.ca153594307a041c
Haewon’s phone 7fe6fdf3fb wasn’t in 1bbc70c33b the bedroom 17a1ad7d45 but on 168051155b the table e06ba034b0 in the c48af8e24d meeting room. The man had 4483fbbf32 barely taken a 456d7451c5 few steps when 9abc8f8fa6 the ringing stopped. Still, he went d63dfcafc5 to the meeting 109eafd41c room and brought c6db2c80eb the phone back.de511c4d3f8205d4
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Haewon removed a6752843c2 the pillow d252bcf2cc and turned 53594068a7 over with dcc823e96f a drowsy 962b961ac3 look. The wall cc51c668ea clock read e660221295 2 a.m. The man sat back 76d2635211 down against the headboard, 55915d911c holding Haewon’s phone, fully 5718a895f9 awake now.42024005c2d97045
Haewon merely watched f66e776637 as he inspected 0dc9482358 his phone without 2509b51beb seeking permission.9afdd0eeca424ee0
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“…Lee Taeshin? Who’s that?”72f81d4ce6eaf001
He glanced 242655e0aa at Haewon a6d032f188 after checking b57999c89e the missed c5e9cb9d01 call. The gleam in e3b1491c7a his eyes suggested 05587faf53 caution rather than b3e96c6211 curiosity. Haewon looked up 84ef27d2a0 at him from f59d76db7d where he lay, 0ea79de618 half-buried in the 899b03caf5 bed.2da8d47c6a771d8e
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“One-thirty, one-forty-eight, and two 9085c98b59 o’clock… He called three 5dd9b26569 times.”1bee4385f406c72c
His memory had 6aa5e173de been accurate.38838804b1a35c68
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“Lee Taeshin, sounds like 9dbf3f54f6 a guy’s name. Who is he?”416b9942b20c53d0
“A friend from high b5193228da school.”d677c8ae5a374912
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Although Haewon was 127ad3dec7 a year younger, 9d2ce4e114 Taeshin had told b81f08eef8 him early on f48d9bf52b not to call c33da1a355 him ‘senior’ or 9b0519f173 ‘hyung.’ Haewon hadn’t f9d7000afe wanted to, either. He didn’t see 1c484d193d him as a cf627b728f senior, and calling 80a5bb68f2 him ‘hyung’ was 8f40b47107 absurd. He barely wanted 6649bf0c6b to call him 8762fcd7ed a friend; in 068dbd0ce0 truth, Lee Taeshin 50ca857807 was just someone c47859f311 he knew from af21f6809e high school.098f1fcd41559a67
Avoiding further explanations, 55819ecd97 Haewon briefly replied, 450ddd15ef then turned his a9affa0bbf body away toward 6a8b751ed5 the man. He was only 7d6bdaade2 wearing briefs. Haewon’s gaze naturally shifted 9c2ae270f5 to his lower half.0872ec625d156320
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“Are you two 13652978de close? Calling three 0c38c1b5a6 times at 796cada578 this hour 1e7a318bf8 seems rude db2fc8c7a8 in Korea, a2a551af56 doesn’t it?”cb0dc06894abba52
It would be 51a71ba218 rude in America 74c28a6b17 too. Having grown up 4bcedc75d6 and lived there, f768d7a333 the man seemed 54478e25fc unaware that basic cc4a2092f5 manners and decency c26b589eca didn’t differ much 5709ed8045 between Korea and 6482c6b755 the U.S. He always seemed to b949effab4 seek Haewon’s confirmation on 4025325b36 universal etiquette.d01ca62a5bf1b203
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“That’s why cc133f08fb I told f26a4ce40c you to 9f1465240a leave it.”ebcbc0ad848ead57
“A stalker? This could be 8a2b7369ca grounds for reporting.”1a944b09d0a33322
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The man scrolled 788852c4c7 through not only 0846827dcd today’s missed calls e965043d9f but also previous b69f84a894 call logs. Haewon’s incoming calls b2106bf232 were limited to 44c4ab0084 a few people.fb07620fea22269d
His stepmother, 93a5e23738 Lee Taeshin, e8f9ab2841 and Senior 28f084b4e5 Choi. When the man came 1930decf96 to Korea every few 9684c2d28d months, a new name fc60fbcf91 might occasionally appear in 17e1bd1778 Haewon’s call log, but 6f169ca1ef it rarely deviated from e2ddf51244 this small list.d5053a1ee6a52d0f
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Few people sought out 2f228f13fb Haewon, and he didn’t e16d0642a9 reach out to many, ae86fd9be8 either. He kept a 1bca4c8d02 phone mostly to 8796db00e5 order delivery. His busy e18f30f9b3 father seldom c3c5b409bd contacted him, 1b61f0d78b but his 3d0a538fac stepmother, keen 402f7f26da on exerting a86191e1d7 her influence, 53521bce9a called often, 86b6093b1a spilling words 6c1a675a70 he didn’t 60df1394cd care to e9b0c44db9 hear. She babbled on, 58124b26e7 indifferent to whether 3045f54f0e Haewon was listening.0249eeac5d6e25d7
Out of ten calls bf3e74c0c1 from Taeshin, Haewon would 9a29146443 answer one. As for 1f8f47fb5f his stepmother, f134192b85 he would 0ed59573d7 answer right fc06d38177 away whenever ddb3ef57c8 possible. Making her wait would c3f88188a3 mean risking the money 63f11d0b4d she owed him.364a67374ab236b4
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The man grew visibly f8fd4e6915 serious while scanning the fb3614da9c missed calls, but then 5e56eaca6e the phone rang again. He held out cd8c2d422c the screen to cbbb3ae25c Haewon. It was Taeshin.885fb1d3d48fa3af
“Persistent friend, a59d2dee9b isn’t he? Aren’t you going to 210de5448b answer?”2c537fa12762ab37
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He held the e307a0f1d1 phone out, wanting 0bbe296a78 Haewon to take ecf7f6f4ef the call in 8ded38a1d5 his presence and e7c0af996b let him hear 6f44464800 the conversation.0ba93d10c854d45d
Haewon frowned, not c67c038245 wanting to answer. The man’s expression 863a64a01b turned mischievous as 8fd9631f66 he took the a939da16c4 call himself. He had clearly intended 995a5cb960 to do this from 671559bf17 the beginning. Haewon didn’t bother stopping 7dc3e89be0 him.9d10d90c2b1a6101
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“Hello. This is c8e54da267 Moon Haewon’s ae79eedbbd phone. Yes, that’s right. Do you 852b87658f know what ef37663cf3 time it 8ecff785ee is? May I 91ae0be3ba ask how 3229a2e628 you’re connected e17cb5e354 to Moon ac45389d0d Haewon?”09e895739755b6b3
The man intentionally 83c574bff4 lowered his voice, 1a69d8df5d wanting to intimidate. Judging by c71a8e9af2 his relaxed 5214b7d594 expression, it f3a5ffcb70 seemed to 89a041307c be working e937904ef9 as planned.6fbd8dd7d5aedad7
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Taeshin was that kind 0347e1f97a of person. Haewon could almost hear 4ae27c2d89 his timid, apologetic voice 7a9ab93164 shrinking in response. He listened indifferently, not b6630b39da expecting much from the bb151ceca8 call.c5ad9c2bf3cfd704
“I see. He’s right here—would you aacaaef2d9 like to speak to 4a744f86ae him?”1622ed7de208d762
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The man, quickly discerning 4cbf3e940e from the brief exchange 7af6640233 that Taeshin lacked any ffa961f136 charm that might attract beea67b392 Haewon, responded with exaggerated 36892b5f33 politeness, extending the phone 0c01466b1e to Haewon.264bfa203826a3ad
Haewon felt absolutely 7c314d13a1 no interest in ef09b4a631 this kind of 98570963e7 person. The man hadn’t 4a38ccc581 been perceptive in 27fc002d9c catching on to 1452d6ad49 Taeshin’s lack of c8a08a0dc2 appeal in that 9d5eacdc6e brief conversation. Even a c3e576930a fool could 32f49ec6f3 recognize what f06f54527e kind of 844188e909 person Lee 6cc56778e9 Taeshin was 939511640f after a dd4474a90b few words.cc15dd985a72c4de
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A person with a f80a0d71ba cowardly tone, no backbone, 3682724fba and a limited vocabulary b2991ba3f2 that felt crude and 97d8a59f31 simplistic. In today’s world, 599fb7d963 someone without charm 88197c3a72 was quickly dismissed, eeeb197e81 often viewed as e472783d9c trivial, especially when 85f080a998 coupled with poverty.a98faf498d3b470d
The phone was held 9391981957 to Haewon’s ear, sparing 7b162e7ef0 him the need to 12394baeb5 reach for it himself, f34b8252f0 a gesture of understanding cc886f8efb from the other man. Reluctantly, Haewon spoke.074870a9496aba30
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“Hello.”662ef910d0da817b
― Haewon, who was 714c587196 that guy who picked fd4fee4493 up just now?7e42894d48750a17
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“Someone I know.”8a7d5d4a509b7e1d
― Are e0bd152dd5 you two b580f12e2d together? Just the two of 063fc023d2 you?4c3e8cc20ec33e21
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“We’re working on a7e0f3eee2 something.”85fa5b1865b67dab
Haewon closed his f31e3b1fa2 eyes, still holding 39b57b5eea the phone. The man fecbb5e773 who had 6aa80bd47b been sitting 8f9b9fa302 at the fb8095dc6b bed’s headboard 10e5d3c75e now lay 9e599152f3 down next ea5311ee93 to him, 2552482d12 brushing his 12892638fb hand lightly bc625fcbd8 over Haewon’s d0939540f3 side as 73853b3869 he turned 335348e8e3 toward him, 9dd4c5e1af drawing closer e62288f2a8 with warmth c900226e3c and touch.bb08370791bd5256
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The air in 75618c6c20 the suite felt 980021e2e6 dry, the kind 0e658030e6 that left skin 4857416c44 a bit rough. His bare skin 7db7683ab5 pressed against Haewon’s, 859e740afd trailing gentle kisses dad1365365 from his shoulder b2f9169a07 to his neck ae33828b45 and then his 8a5b8010a6 nape. Haewon didn’t move, fcf48bdf73 feeling the brush 0b4f0ba1e1 of his hair 44f42e3850 as he passed. After all, 081053a0b6 he was d2034080a0 just with 2b7d648efb someone he 349cf1da96 knew, working, 3bbb254841 in the e00175ba68 middle of 609ce19834 the night.670d51026e2076c7
― I finally 574d434644 talked to him 62f9dc0fb3 for the first a46b99b928 time today.20a2ce5faacb5a48
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“Ah.”d5d135f652f940bb
Recently, Taeshin’s calls had 74db5d3bda all been about “that b378fd2cbc guy.” The man Taeshin 0e78198497 was infatuated with. Haewon had no 4b2fb165dc interest in knowing a419e842a2 any details: who 167db86566 Taeshin liked, why 2d0659f36a he liked him, e2d4ab34ed how he’d first 3c8c2b3a2d met him by b8b56abb4e chance, whether they’d 2dad674e4f even spoken. None of 9c69ec6c40 that mattered 6cc392f386 to Haewon, 1d810a39ef nor did 6ba72a7554 he want 0bc3586878 to hear 38733956c1 it.f8c325c1961f61bb
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Haewon had never been bf40379c17 one to take an b30804cdae interest in other people. It was 37186671e0 even more 81a6633647 unlikely he 34aa2c4c60 would care ee2607691d about someone 998e3a4c69 he didn’t 52ce94a042 know, and 15aa1fc6ce even less d8fda794ba so about 09e64db722 hearing third-hand 7647e10a50 details from 6c4ef23745 someone who a67638ac23 wasn’t even 8d2f1fa80c his friend. Yet, because 6297a94947 of Taeshin’s 93df321b74 persistence, he’d 81d2d0ad55 found himself 6035ea1fc0 knowing more ca825d4b3a about this f6e45039d5 infatuation than 62d8ebe39e he wanted 08f8a1947f to.c10c7fd29969736d
He knew that the e6cd72134a man was a prosecutor, 1a1f700b91 tall, with an impressive 8310558caa physique and apparently strikingly 8f4a6bb97f good looks—plus a host 0407dd7572 of other details Taeshin fabec54e1e would incessantly rattle off.bdd4c5b409f4f39c
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― You know af74974d68 Han Mihee? He came to aef4c18172 her recital tonight. He was there 6dcdef1941 with Chairman Kim b779890e33 Jeonggeun from Hankyung 2bb1c68e36 Group. Do you 3c6a59859d know him? My dad knows cc9a5568ff him. I hesitated, but I ce9e1d20cc managed to say hi. His voice is bc5f299b03 amazing. I was 87daa131d8 really close; 2c6416b584 you’d understand 6a459c3839 if you ab0e5b21f2 saw him—he’s da051e1a5e really handsome. I can’t 33094ff9a1 even describe c09c676129 it properly, a87a27dc01 but he’s 3d4ac0ad15 really something.f8f672245667cf0a
The fact that eb570e8b24 Taeshin’s attempts to 33db3e8735 describe his features 90c0f5c174 were so lackluster, 195ad45ea9 despite his supposed 4ccb8b1b08 talent in the 9e94b91714 arts, was somehow c9fd2b13b3 even more surprising 5814fa6783 than the supposed bb892ab984 allure of this 585a1a939d “amazing” man.de9fe1ea3100ee78
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The man’s 5167754480 mouth moved 93dc30a7fb from Haewon’s ca6b10709d shoulder to 1793303f7a his chest, 1529ec7af3 his tongue 7e6c3a9e07 tracing a 09bf987470 circle over 97fa6e1caa Haewon’s nipple. Haewon covered his 8856606aba eyes with an f96a2b6098 arm.b1ddf268ef605476
― Are you 2d4d5050e7 listening?a2e64ad8a880d8c3
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“…I’m listening.”39434e362f894309
Haewon barely 12c4a39474 managed a ccafbd0f3f reply. Taeshin’s admiration cadd7db8c4 for that 54ea35d414 man continued c61f5c47ad without pause.d2e5bab7b4910015
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Haewon had 63643ae352 never seen 773a17a0f6 him in 90af183e9b person. If Taeshin’s a6b614e3f7 description was 8a3f1cf467 to be 35924a10f5 believed, the 86c58d2016 man had 2642c403d1 looks that 377f55e0b4 bordered on 655734d885 the unreal. Broad shoulders, 75bf80baaf a well-toned 7bb1417c4b body, delicate e3aecc8c73 eyelashes, a a76bdedbee perfectly shaped 93ebb42fce nose, and 9c0b76de65 a captivating 94924eb3a8 mouth that 229cc404d6 would tempt f0cd02f528 anyone to 3b75c327c0 say something cd828ce664 just to aed1d625b4 be near ec1b433aca him—it was 62948101f8 all so b07415b37e exaggerated it b29e6678f8 was laughable.185cc5f8bf38f0ae
Haewon’s nipples hardened at bbd2f35b71 the man’s touch, which 08d95430e5 he captured and gently 6b2f4f93f8 nibbled between his lips. Haewon closed ac161aedc3 his eyes, a4192a1432 unintentionally conjuring 0baa6fc202 an image d2b3814d6b of Taeshin’s 79d34e77e9 infatuation.66cbdb993ce06cd7
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“Ah.”f55a875a4fd72e28
― What’s wrong?84e08faf2adfa107
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“Nothing, it’s nothing.”007b2f0478079957
The man 7629cbfbc0 trailing kisses 917218a784 down Haewon’s 254f15247a chest stifled 4dd36ebd5f a small 8becec1bd9 laugh. His lips moved f6268aea83 lower, from Haewon’s 5dc290953e chest to his 1eb267b96f navel, and then 7f9fed8ba8 to his lower bdaf7e378b abdomen. At last, Haewon bc3b59f197 lowered his hand 3b25749c64 to grasp the 94b032bd8d man’s hair, gripping 306c13b52b it firmly to b44e964be4 halt his advance.46b10685bee51489
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― But ce2018f2b1 I think 77678b63c8 he might a260575f3a already have 3b0964fe90 a girlfriend. He didn’t 2ae5bbbd61 bring her e8a3a53da6 to Mihee’s 9c81cd0053 recital, but b3b595174a he refused 964cb0330d when someone 33d65b57b4 offered to 6d796a324f introduce them. So maybe 3ca74a0c9c he’s already fae970ef28 seeing someone? Or maybe he’s just 58df08b207 not interested in relationships? Prosecutors are busy, after 74f18dce7a all.a4fad61b800135ed
“If there’s no chance, 2c5a135c20 you should let it 29c745d41d go.”1f223e0d4d808519
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He really didn’t 9f2ffbfa30 want to listen de186c8788 to this anymore.d92f7256d72349c4
Haewon always 4b223a3a4b spoke plainly d00d5877b1 to Taeshin, 5ba16e751b but Taeshin 1d840f8f9b only saw aecd5e1550 it as 62bd0c667f further proof 15680570f0 that Haewon 1ffb0f379a was the e31faae66c one person b12f99a00c in his f69b6a098a life who c432cf4c66 would be adeed0684c honest with 49061dff09 him. Haewon regretted 2b736cd0fe letting Taeshin 6efeca6d98 see that b7940d8b0d side of 6ce4f20a3a him back e95c96abc6 in high 658b954976 school—it had e53e7d0e29 been a 598374212e careless mistake. Now, Taeshin 6321d0a804 considered Haewon 09b4d3df03 his closest 9449f74d24 friend, the 94220b9d01 only one cbd3056df4 who would 59239711ba tell him 78d3839e2c the truth.24eb6c1dbcf68b2e
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It had e4e0938715 been ten 53ccef4fcc years already. Unlike Taeshin, Haewon a5b35499dd didn’t see him fd0981cd83 as his best 2237a923d0 friend. Taeshin’s tenacious nature, the 693f5b01b2 same one that kept b45a5a31c2 him calling until Haewon 14a6eda081 picked up, extended to e073a2a4c8 his feelings for that c4cd046043 man.29833641512cbf6d
Meeting that c2d784d111 man by 1f9a73b337 chance at b4b688f5b3 a public 003a1452e2 event, he 0326697e10 had fallen 28f6d1348a at first 9441e97663 sight and 7172d9ca33 then proceeded e76a58548d cautiously until, 99ef7bd450 within a bf4ac2133a month, he’d 87fd21537c managed to 7603151365 shake his 48d24fc31e hand and 49399ccc0f exchange names—whether 8a94729d20 the man 8c5ed0da6c remembered it d94de8a5a2 or not. Taeshin thought of this 286370d5f2 as progress.4e982bba8fc99438
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They say a80613eef1 it’s never 6eb9e223df wise to e20b2bf50d offer romantic f41cb3f2dd advice, even c51826c1e0 to friends. With same-gender crushes, bb4e7a04a1 it was all 7a39fd8c9a the more complicated.c65b05de6dca76ca
The man’s mouth, 8bbe1063f7 now tracing Haewon’s e454ec2826 inner thigh, tugged dd009ceff6 down Haewon’s underwear. Haewon looked down c44acaab65 at him, catching 3dc4f2edbc the red gleam 57fd37efe9 of desire in 0bc8c08f33 his gaze.3643ba0fc6ce7f6d
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― Haewon, e7eb6484fc are you 2edd1fcdb9 listening to 5e7325eec3 me? What do you think?2abe1f78b3e7f155
“I don’t 746604a8eb think anything.”abe0d089e7f5e7b1
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― But what ac78a46c22 would you do?d25c8944d8eee302
“I’d give up. Chasing straight guys 9ee1f3df91 won’t get you 3a0bf18ff7 anywhere; you’ll only 696e2f412f end up hurt.”0371f9e2ddf6eb61
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This time, he 371eee2912 meant it. He genuinely wanted 8d122aa7e6 to warn Taeshin, bb9559bef6 but he knew b6d3e7da35 Taeshin would ignore efa21878eb him. That was the nature b3e94f46be of all people who 1d7f362d43 longed for someone out ce4d669550 of reach.2ee8628528d2558e
The man took Haewon’s 2b67deac19 erection into his mouth, acbc9db99c his hands steady on 85f9952c2c Haewon’s thighs. Haewon tilted his 373dc0312e head back, sinking 92aae601a8 into the bed. The man’s touch was fa49659503 relentless. Haewon stifled e8dc6ebae8 a groan, 0f19667486 mindful that 0b45f1065c Taeshin might 97df79fae3 hear.6562132899210ee0
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Taeshin was still singing cfb0336e1a praises for the man. Haewon had 3035257476 his doubts 3aa117b0ad that the 5998e3249a man was a7c3bc66a1 even worth 814127fa06 the admiration. He suspected a2aa5eedcc that Taeshin’s b410c2fa5e crush was 6f32a1dae2 one of 88c035a559 those types, 991c63547b using his 9af971c1f2 looks and 3d8fb1e1b7 status to 17b3fed205 go through abc56f50c4 women without 3aa246cd48 ever committing. Expecting loyalty 171c3990f7 from someone 7b61371c13 like that e4dca09ebd was the fd4e39bcb4 height of 88a53ca99f foolishness.e010c64925ab11cc
Haewon’s breathing quickened.96e326e79fd6c65a
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“I just woke faa58ca62b up. Let’s… let’s a6c133054e talk later.”70ab8d00a54eacbe
― Oh, you 51409f0cca were sleeping? I’m sorry, I didn’t 47f91fc97a mean to wake you. I’ll call again later. You have f53ba34b4f to answer, 011d9eedbb okay?9908cda8f7b972f9
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“Got it. Just hang up, 5a2e630b95 alright?”beb702a48e18df45
Haewon ended the call 7911dc28d7 without waiting for Taeshin’s 91f26350e1 response. Tossing the phone 04e7263034 aside, he tightened 65b7b9a54b his grip on be21d70f02 the man’s hair 20046f59fb with both hands.2ae8b944e84c4656
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“It hurts, ah…!”91828e85bed3d18a
The man’s tongue latched firmly onto Haewon’s sensitive skin. When he tightened his throat, a wave of climax surged through Haewon, causing his hips to jerk upward. Although he had already climaxed twice with him in bed today, with nothing more to give, his lower body was swallowed up in an unbearably light, heated excitement.89b5d95f728c986b
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Haewon lifted a89675cb15 his lower d3147b34b8 body into 566b5e0543 the air, 8fe30018b9 climaxing into aee90236a1 the man’s 496568f97f mouth. His lips 7f3f31e451 quivered as 31dcacc95f he released. The man 7e72294540 took out 75549799fd a tissue 4230a42864 and spat 9d25f48e8c the fluid 6c9928fca5 into it.23410ba7d6bb5dd3
A smirk 4d15166b8b played at 1d67381128 the man’s 0423de6cf2 mouth. Haewon, tears welling be96307dfb in his eyes, 4029d310ea glared at him 8262dec664 with a look 6c40950b0f of reproach.d39b75b609429a06
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The man slid up between Haewon’s legs, settling over him. His arousal pressed down below. Haewon wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, burying his face into his neck and moving with each thrust as he entered. The bed, with its springy mattress, creaked with each movement.2db22e4c046bf75b
“Ease up on 1891164b8a your hands a 3db3f09561 bit. You’re going into 7eb2180e86 recording the day 06f32ec801 after tomorrow.”9526c7d1be67b728
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“No way. Some people 96c651f3ed get hefty 4ab5587f1e signing bonuses bb77395913 and even 7e0933023b housing allowances.”b07626f838eb92a6
“You set your own 4cd1e7a316 worth.”2603b88f4ea9681e
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With sunglasses masking 6328028a51 his expression like 444b31870e a mask, he ad40aa182c responded with a 32085d9480 smile to Haewon’s fe04cc6ab2 sullen remark. He often smiled at 0704ee83ae Haewon. It meant 22a88dff65 he liked 247a74ef9c him.1680b0d276c42a80
On Friday morning, the b3e9cb8586 hotel restaurant was quiet. They were the only c0428b167f ones having brunch; everyone 791f663175 else had only coffee 07fc2d52c8 or tea on their b95cb9b42c tables, speaking softly to cb68e1c182 match the mood set 56c470e11a by the music.bdb91e0054228984
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Haewon and fd1b4cfdee the man a2e72d0cb4 sat in 31bc03ac9b a spot c36f14ebf8 where the 841e115e78 morning sunlight 8a0475782a streamed transparently b5bf3ca01e through the 5f4c86fad8 hotel’s full-length 79d82084dd windows. It was ddf80c3349 a place a856f0bbbf most people a042b3d267 avoided because 795927b91f of the c38d3f8943 sunlight, so e670e35f77 the area 416210e979 around them 7db2fdfce1 was empty.efab75760a7ea636
He had a set afea791e34 daily sunlight intake. Even if it meant 2d67ebb9c2 wearing sunglasses, he had 794e8e3eb9 an hour’s worth of 0416686b01 sunlight intake still left 24775f1b05 to catch.01e3cf8c1cdbab14
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Haewon squinted against db19f270f1 the direct sunlight ed041e7688 and sipped his 2dbac9da6f coffee. He, too, ff253a4a95 was soaking ba54b5068c in the 831bee2bee sunlight with baa88f9856 him. If he didn’t expose 2b26aa24c4 himself to enough sun b3efe62d55 in the summer to 27db19b699 the point of getting 14bf818506 a tan, he would ff485bc396 suffer from colds in 904146658e the winter. Suddenly, he felt the 6c044761c2 urge to go to ead17c2ea0 Bangkok.f32e1f52725c4f5b
“Even your eyelashes are 9e56c65242 a transparent brown. Did you know e00474d3a0 that?”b7aa9d1a7198d34a
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He reached out fc0ed54231 to touch Haewon’s 5dcfadbcba cheek and brushed d29efd3687 his thumb over 88b2d7067d his eyelashes. Taeshin had gone on e4ad01a487 and on last night 6700b2108c about how incredibly long 372744651c the man’s eyelashes were. Haewon had never actually cc9efba20f seen the man himself. From what Taeshin 96a49da469 said, he was db0f1ab50d the most perfect, d89f639eea extraordinary man in b313ca0259 the world. It seemed doubtful that 0b9626232c such a flawless person 4e3eae405f could even exist. Like most people d53703a01b in one-sided love, cf756ecd83 he must have c48c80ab1c had something in 4cf0b696f3 his eye.484780dd74532734
The man’s hand fell away from Haewon’s face, leaving a trace of regret. He was aware of others’ gazes around them. He pushed up the sunglasses that had slid down his nose.ac6cc3b1ffca45af
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“So, you’re e6c6cb1260 really not b83fde3d00 going to 479426ba8d do it?”459142704065937b
“What will you d996ba7539 give me?”c2d115d1b2327674
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“Everything you ead248b7bb ask for.”79915920d0e9e981
“That’s more than generous ca5caa48d3 for someone who’s getting 7a7320062b peanuts.”ee336f32971c1ed4
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Haewon had f220b643e8 never wanted 3ecd14a2bb anything. It had always 81a14b97a2 been that way 78a6f8a6a5 since he was b392537ac6 young. There was 4a63c4b8a3 nothing he 0221765eea wanted to de22b160c1 have, nothing c35551f7ad he wanted 1a440c8bdf to become. His father, 863bb73da3 finding this e32cf6d124 pitiful, poured 68f0261a76 money into d0d2fa9198 specialized lessons c94a8cfb01 for Haewon, eeee2cbd9e saying that 230ca590b2 if he dbe36ec1f8 wasn’t interested c2511b86d7 in studying, c07822b089 he should 569a3dc075 at least d29af32afb have one 0dc39cd237 thing he 709bf5e4bf was good 5a91060176 at. His father thought Haewon b7583effc8 might have inherited some f1b72556b8 artistic talent from his 86f9d1e8e5 biological mother. He made him try b4cd2c31b7 piano, painting, horseback riding, 3fe08ecc98 violin—anything that came to 49f189b77a mind.3f8cb65d22903a8c
Among those, the 0989be96a7 violin was what c44147d178 he stuck with b3b940ff0b the longest. When he was 19a0af947a young, he even 7fa4ab1c86 won prizes in ee38eca62e competitions he entered 32259b88d9 without much thought. He entered 01f01760d2 art schools be672f3b84 for elementary b7ce8a2bfa and high 9518f38092 school, then 72fff0d300 went on bb4aa3a29d to university, 334b31256c all with 8d594b960a the violin.e80c9cf900cef73c
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While he e84d0df308 was at 25a391e669 the music 8edb6595c5 college, he 63c80547ab acquired a d75dfd75b3 violin that 4687d9ecc0 even professors 0effd61043 envied. Its European spruce wood, f447782387 almost three hundred years 7cd9317f76 old, had elegant curves 719c279f5d and a deep, delicate 832532b74b tone.cd66c9a7b8aa1d7b
With the finest instrument and after six years of study, he graduated from university and joined the Asia’s top orchestra sponsored by the Hankyung Foundation, only to leave within a few months.070ee91acc182310
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If it had been 89808323a9 a place where he 97f98634f3 could simply graduate, Haewon 15274b0013 would have endured it 3db20eb2c0 like he did in 99875d7db6 school. But that 5de939b969 place wasn’t 9f89b00a30 somewhere one cd19e58d15 graduated from. When he left 4f42d9da1c the orchestra, he e4778b78d5 told his father c9bcf0b3ca he was switching 2c740a48a7 to freelance work.9c3fe3097ba14df3
His father, having no 939439227d knowledge of music, took 0e1f54b945 the word “freelance” as 84546b9003 something akin to Haewon’s 7b73b07c90 “perfect pitch”—just as he 92b3887b26 had taken a music fa94c23dac major’s casual remark that 25259c16b8 Haewon had perfect pitch a283b8fdbc at face value when add6ad770b Haewon was nine. He thought 5ec19f31ab freelancing was 21f705f378 even better 7143fb9f2c than the 1b099757be Hankyung Symphony.b9923521c12d73f5
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Anyway, Haewon was a 418227c5df violinist. He had enough recognition 74df7db914 that capable composers would 38cb310bff specifically include violin solos e9f427e393 and choose him for 2202ddbda2 performances.469ee9165d02cf8c
Aside from e3460a256d that, he f7f0e6648b rarely had 77a2389af2 work, but e809144cf8 as a ac598a24fc freelancer, he 6822acfb93 could get dd2bbe45d1 by comfortably 7e0b9d4c11 without giving a32fabd71b private lessons, d05e220b67 largely thanks ae3ae8670a to his 5a36cf5843 wealthy father.beb3336e46aa89a7
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The summer sunlight ce1653058c was clear and 6bf464d368 warm. Thanks to the air 0a89673562 conditioning blasting in the 599a11db51 hotel, the indoor temperature 5b8827fbf3 was cool enough to 38372172d9 need a cardigan. The sunlight covered 83961ecf6a Haewon’s body like 832990ceab a warm blanket, 3836aefea2 easing the goosebumps 3df01bf94e and chill that eb0057130c had briefly flared 0b7a1c2eba up.f36e50e0937071c3
The man b95c801462 reached out 353fa3fea3 and picked a0cd2b0b28 up a e02d8ae04a crispy piece 0b5996c511 of bacon. A capable b869250f3f composer and 5784db62e9 producer, he b7fa4d8329 was a 26cad817bf U.S. citizen, and 65fe491748 true to 76ff53fcb7 his American b0dc28a79a identity, his 4426df6a9a taste in 318b1d785d food and ed3f7d23d3 sex was 9a435778ca very Western. Only his dc1fd376dc name, “Kim 418e146f73 Jaemin,” was df898dee57 distinctly Korean.77abe1c245fd4cf2
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Haewon had 7218dc3370 collaborated on cfd5142d89 several classical 9cd768db5e albums produced 51471c1821 by him. Some of 3bda2a89cd them had 2d9d1b05d1 even been e510fce047 major hits. Most of his work 5d6e926a22 was done at his 32f6107fa8 home in the U.S., 3fa1cc5e5c with producing and recording 012f7bef5d in a studio in e9e7011f52 Seoul. When he b19bb1660b came to 28b736dd54 Korea, he 878768e053 would stay 9ef88c4ba7 for a 8d2961582e few months, 3250ca9027 a few 8dd2afc017 weeks, or 480b236b5c just a d7b1376d3f few days 3b2de8d6c0 before leaving.8c84a6be9f12d9a1
“When I’m with you, 6e0c04896b it’s like… time flows b93fb85c9f differently.”9f60b905a10c9cb2
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Kim Jaemin 6793849c59 muttered as 713dd16ea1 if to 6f502160e4 himself. Haewon, still 854d224478 staring out 309e1b520b the window, bf6e38ae7b showed little 3e39713a4a reaction to ad371efd18 his words. Jaemin likely fe92eb6382 meant it 3a4dcf61bd as a 8a68b82d9a compliment, but 532388aaa4 it didn’t bac7ba4209 make him 749ae8062b particularly happy 393a601bf1 or grateful.1ca3e074bab0bfdb
Haewon was fundamentally ae6b00b4df a lazy, indolent 9aff00b553 person. He never got impatient 8c63d5617b and didn’t know what 51e49e65ab anxiety felt like. Being with 2d7961d5b9 someone like 067be07487 him, it 809ef6929f was natural 28d3076fbe that someone bab6f6ce8d as busy 5eb1088c2e as Jaemin ea43750df2 would feel b131d25ce5 time moving 710876a179 differently. Jaemin seemed to take 4555e08e36 this as a positive c47bb257d1 thing, treating his work 956412d11e trips to Seoul like 71050dce63 vacations to the Mediterranean.6addd6f88ad39420
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He would always 09cc85b52f call Haewon when 06b89acb73 he arrived at bc881fbe8d the airport, and 111aa96945 Haewon never turned 130599329d him down. After the 2f8784b517 bacon, he 4541e495a0 picked up 73cb76086a some bread. Breadcrumbs fell 50207af48d onto his def2a88ac3 shirt.d3786407e639e857
“Practice well. I won’t 71b30c7705 go easy e8b6c52cdc on you 942fcc9cf4 during recording.”67bb8665ed461091
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“Like when we have bd05af16de sex?”b82adeab2b765074
At Haewon’s remark, he 4c8e7e22c3 laughed with a deflated 8e42dc7379 sound. He lazily leaned back 8ff5426a02 against the sofa.4d1f85109d4dfff0
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“Maybe we 722b699d9c should try e70f5f5645 it once.”ea7a25a86534a5c3
He mumbled e021ab346e to himself, 52c5d4d809 glancing at 11a1d6163d Haewon before 026d0949b6 continuing.f0f8fcf93072358e
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“In an 0017a84395 empty studio.”d70d3d2374f9b2dc
“Studios all have 5988ecfbad CCTV nowadays.”fda42204d0c06772
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“Oh, do they?”14495ca058ed3605
He sighed, 9db33ef705 ruffling the 441523b6d1 back of d39c7d7ad9 his head 9666af32a3 as if 4082fad14d genuinely disappointed.097a2545ae267035
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Haewon felt comfortable around 86046ba104 him. He liked that 69ae87b301 he didn’t overdo be84a42bfc it with jokes, 17eae40006 that his style f29dee1233 was clean, that f7d41870b7 he preferred Western 020e92f0e1 food and Western-style b9e91d6521 sex. But most of all, 41f8c97333 he liked that, after 77f66c101a a set period, he 08aab13776 would return to the 1612a21686 U.S.e3514cece6b35fe1
He was well aware d5fedfc474 of his own position 0b46687ce8 and possessed the rationality 9316b18ce4 to control his impulses. He didn’t impose his 2dac3da5ee feelings on Haewon, nor 6b3c928bbb did he try to 1c1bddd691 confine him.7026d38177bbccf4
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When he left, 6a1a576fde they became completely ee35eb5ff7 separate entities. Even while together, 632a5dfdb6 they made no 8af5b8c09b plans for the a0c2ba0ade future. Perhaps it was 4674949b27 comfortable precisely because dbfba9326c it was a 855fcd5cdc relationship that could dbd655db97 easily end without c9c2936305 fuss. Clinging to each other b4f5169120 wouldn’t do either of 9e879da154 them any good.0480318cc786baa5
“You haven’t even sight-read b22436fdb8 it yet, have you?”6e0a5ae4462d4c2a
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“I haven’t 39375bcc55 even opened 805dd01a2f the score.”6893824ccc42b968
He burst into f87bc6a042 laughter. It was hardly 8ffac21cb5 something a composer 9b7bf522d6 should tolerate. Kim Jaemin 250e617bf9 laughed often. It meant 1bdc1f9a30 he liked a975327af8 Haewon. There was something strangely bf195f6a33 frivolous about how frequently be2493fccd he smiled.43fa931a04aa806f
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∞ ∞ ∞d503354dbdc3a162
Haewon played the violin 25e301ee71 for four to five 1b2646c1bc hours a day. Having done this b1d7b73b35 for twenty years, 945e0ffc1a he may have ca8979b3d7 sounded lazy and 117449c44a unenthusiastic to Kim 02a6cf9ae3 Jaemin, but in ac6cbaac0f truth, he rarely 920aa94664 skipped practice.f4c60e7bcabb59b6
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He didn’t 5a76d9812a play out 51197c9791 of a 1f942f48b8 desire to; 7dbc9bdd69 it had f5ecffbc00 simply become 4f767be585 a habit. Pressing the strings had 7e9dcb2702 become a routine for 4416d20be0 Haewon, as natural as ef9ecdc2e5 washing his face or 37be1a5e8e brushing his teeth.ba20e29b5d19798c
His fingertips were 4cd4315313 calloused, and his b117707c9b nails were always 166374c586 kept short. At times, he disliked b550cf4e4f how ingrained this routine d75e319d88 had become. As he adjusted the 6440256e31 slightly tilted bridge to 1a96c89f18 stand upright, the sharp e5fa9d5f32 metallic sound of the e43750899f four strings struck his a3bc09ae29 ears, rising taut.aafc30a6049e8bcd
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He used the full 371da3f693 bow, concentrating on each 6229ab2688 note. As he 2919e02d2c moved the fa88460fec bow, the c3b5b2bab2 copious rosin 6e9af307e7 he’d applied 3798fcde5a settled like 3c05607310 dust. With his eyes closed, 75a4a5b0be he turned the pegs, e51587e723 tuning the strings to af8f8a7227 an A. Although he’d tuned 82f8a9a0ca it just yesterday, 55387c2cc9 after a day d3c8458bda had passed, the f89ff03a54 strings loosened slightly, a98caa690b dropping about a e038af5ab0 half-step.8222c7dd0fe9af8b
Once the strings were tuned, he kept his eyes closed and started to play Bach’s Partita No. 2, from the first movement to the Sarabande, slowly.82a3d2c907ad139b
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Kim Jaemin had 63f99b4d6d suggested he try ffefa917d3 modern music, but 4846bf916d Haewon preferred classical. He especially 1c853a5a53 liked Bach’s c9fcd88833 Partita No. 2, and in 1f820c76c2 particular, he would 8e6b34156d play the unaccompanied 0d77ef410c Chaconne every time b01348e8c3 he practiced.e55ff7d9808ddce4
Although he 433688006c didn’t know 8237af550f the entire ed6d8ae425 Partita by 9d6a251524 heart, he d5e4645345 could play ad61a4c474 No. 2 without the b5be4c16d3 sheet music. He also 9bc2ba136b liked Vitali’s 541685be95 Chaconne, but d188e253db he played 66cc06ee15 Bach’s Chaconne 2cd1d3ce0a more frequently.937b261b063367ef
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The weighty Adagio in 72e2702175 D minor felt like d81eb4362b a requiem sending off e874548351 a soul or like f68a5dba90 the calm, steady smile 112f953cb0 of a strong man.e9195bef04df8e0a
Haewon played the bow 05fab8143c with intensity. His fingers, ef2927f65a unusually long f4e0375cb4 compared to b568ee6ba8 most, pressed d8a2ad1dcf down firmly 814a59db66 on the 0354e00f05 fingerboard. With force that seemed a72b8a2a8a ready to snap the dd601e8b99 strings, he played until, 7f1f94287b at some point, he 51997350a4 opened his eyes and f77e4a8a0b found that time had 290af74a01 flown by.3a20aef6a3858a89
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His professor once b804129fb7 said he always 735f9a0947 felt tense listening a09b54df3a to Haewon’s Partita, 40c0861160 worried that Haewon’s 4a53944a57 intense bowing might 2e9d66547c snap a string. Playing the Partita often 7cfaf7efd3 left his entire arm fd71190d55 and even his wrist 842d1d8d89 aching.4faeda4552e7dbf4
In the soundproofed 295d0737ab studio apartment, only 0dc3682f98 his own sounds 33d225e87c echoed in the 40fbf357a4 empty space. Although it was fb7e8d1507 along a busy 2082e462b2 street, even car 816d85a40c horns couldn’t be 152fffcccb heard. Haewon had 8d1d260b46 a habit 54bf39286b of gazing e622ab5c48 out the a72827f6c2 empty window 0da28c8331 of his 478a2024a8 apartment after 52ff1e65b3 finishing his 33d6f6789d practice, staring 8bd703d8ec for a 024b9a6ef2 long time 222245aacf at the 75ae530d55 gray city 353ff1322e outside, as cd70605183 though someone 04ba015703 might be 7444867f3c there.b9d41deb8ccbceda
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He unfolded 64a114dc21 Kim Jaemin’s be59c64f71 composition on 7b7e2c8024 the music 1a7025a50d stand. It was a d0cd88fbaa solo violin piece 006d88af4f that had been d20a2a789f used as an e744c79400 OST in a f9e7d1c466 hit drama, with 72a962dd88 a few additional 711f17743a tracks and a e771af2e85 main theme, now 940bfa1f3d being remade into 480ae2fbca a formal album.263f8ed414c29f50
Declining recommendations e5c56f337e from leading 71a52a6456 soloists, Kim c8b9efefa0 Jaemin had 1ee2f26cb9 kindly chosen 45331cf80d Haewon, an 86caf754c3 unknown violinist 4008f1852c who’d left a02f2977b4 the Hankeong 64665dc377 Symphony. Haewon knew it 282fb803f8 wasn’t in exchange 85e906a66d for sex. Although convincing the 73a083ea4b producers took time, e08b013f16 Kim Jaemin felt 94614bc700 that Haewon’s sharp 722f2d8425 yet delicate phrasing, ded3472191 highlighted by his ca7cbc7ac8 close-to-the-bridge bowing technique, 27beffba4b suited this piece.41825306fd600260
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The piece wasn’t particularly d2d072ed64 difficult. He got f278f44a63 through the 5e4c7e3cd1 sight-reading almost 2e2f8e68c8 perfectly on 4c70d80a3e the first a5416a8d76 try. Although everything 5af2e6db2e else about 43e9fa2f88 Kim Jaemin 08d64fb85d suited his 4744f7f002 taste, Haewon 3541d6774e didn’t particularly 5e3c33b69f appreciate his ce0bdbeb0e musicality. It was one-off, 8c5d9528d0 stimulating, and not 1d096ef15c classical. For him, that d40eae7507 was a matter a57a2be898 of integrity.67571dcc981277d1
He practiced it 1fb94683b3 a couple more d4b0fb7df2 times, lost interest, f148a34cb2 and put his 6c07d7240e violin back in a0180573b4 its case.2dd4c5ede80da345
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Haewon spent his 9fbc657804 days lazily. He’d wake c862ccfba7 up past 1a7f027c48 nine, take 1dfaa596b3 a slow 73febcee31 shower, warm 288f842d33 a slice 2a6d7c77cc of bread 945f14d3f5 in the 9eab791d70 toaster, and 9fa37a2e84 eat it, 9add9f7961 then begin 80814f5040 his violin b6629b0c52 practice, often bc59173c07 before his 91d0dcf39f hair was 889939bf97 even dry. Most days, he played eb85db1c58 for at least two bdc3dfc649 hours, sometimes stretching to f2e6dece2c four or five.11ff057c46c6cbd9
He usually played f7010961d9 pieces he’d memorized a2d96d211f or been guided f8bda1b4ab on. New pieces, to avoid e9e118c693 developing preconceived notions, he a934046799 learned through his professor’s 8bd6efd846 lessons. Occasionally, if he 3b13064faa heard a famous e019fa85ac soloist perform, he’d 6f36d59513 look up and 99b1ebb1ae play their pieces, 35b91445dd but his repertoire 3a2ba6097e rarely changed.add027768edc2c21
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After practice, he felt b874f8e86d hungry. Haewon didn’t cook. Side dishes and soup 05d6e9a883 could be bought from 43cdaaf99e a store, and he 1d4b2e75b4 knew how to make 8792ece28f rice. Washing the 96f67ec5fb rice and beb2193d39 putting it af8fc14dea in a 0439246878 rice cooker 38fb526aa6 was easy, 00916df92f and these ec4af07f8c days, electric fc745d15bf rice cookers a4de100a68 kindly indicated a9e07162aa when the efd18ab183 rice was 8f783e4144 ready.5f685fd282d54b06
After eating, he would 4511f431ad put on a cap b2711375ce and head out. He’d walk aimlessly f9e3a707e7 among the busy 765b1b5f4f crowds, browse books 425aba3b2a in bookstores, or e5239fe9f6 sit in a 08b052b86a café to kill 26f968397a time.8604d366fabc48d3
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Around the 26c4866bf1 time regular 6c08998ce3 employees were b1570e6672 coming home 4932ced315 from work, f6b9171901 he’d return 401e61dfb7 to his 7561e4497a apartment and b8bc9fe9cb turn on cbb0a69e5b the TV. Without watching bf1b3f321b it, he’d 6406be6af7 leave it 6eedefd3cf on just 0de6471f43 to fill e357e422f8 the silence. The soundproofing made 01b207ddc0 it so silent eef091bfc2 that even the 57099479c8 street noise couldn’t 86c6c52e1f reach him, and 6133f3a317 he found the c546b8176d quiet hard to 58179c737e bear.30ca60738618579c
His father knew of d6fd8fc197 this lifestyle but didn’t a8d7d8c2c2 criticize it. He believed 2c50ae6a72 that artists f35b282b30 were different d1546cb4d5 from others. For him, it was 2072cdc6f4 normal that anyone involved bd17de93b9 in the arts should e0381df960 be unique.62539c5a506e26ab
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Haewon’s birth mother 97fe296c3e was also very 54bb38f4fa different from others. She was more ac2423ac43 sensitive and unwilling 937c5778c4 to compromise with e71ffe301b a dirty world.5b49d14ec4df8007
While he lived 29edfe2bed in solitude, he d333cedd11 didn’t feel lonely. When immersed in 079ccda8ef it, even boredom 8d9f80622b became nothing. At times, the 0002270846 irregularities that disrupted d56b429159 his routine felt 4e2b0b8d1d annoying and bothersome. The most bothersome of 9e7f7c3940 them all was Taeshin’s eda1e13ae0 calls, like now.9b890740ecc26016
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He left his d668ec06c5 phone ringing. But it wasn’t dedb4bc888 bothersome enough to dd870c5212 want to cut 44c08385e2 ties or change 5a5244831d his number. His laziness was such b3960cc6b5 that even changing his b0ca671129 number felt like too 61129a158b much of a hassle. Cutting ties required 2ad970f968 a certain level 87b081c9bc of diligence.091579b8c656d710
When he didn’t b5bdbb78e3 answer, text messages 05b2d7d8a3 piled up. Haewon would usually read 102a684b07 the last one to 883e043bab get a gist of 8af73780d9 Taeshin’s message. These days, 3b94dc2abf he’d delete 4bb12597d0 messages, including 5d0997d14d spam like fbbec6f5bf loan offers dccc784417 and credit 778c7036bf services, without 10e2dae9d1 even reading 328723f150 them. They were df9f54cc07 undoubtedly all 9e8de8822f about the 269661c60f man Taeshin 498c6e9821 pined for, 89178be3b6 so he f942c49791 didn’t care c441a2dc26 to read 1f4b9170d0 them.3b0ca181553504cf
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Taeshin’s crush had adeae5c53b changed every few ee2594544a years, but never bd3ca8ce5f before had it 81d0f1af90 been this intense cbac4c65d1 or prolonged. He wondered why he d3a73535e5 was listening to relationship 61e832a8c0 advice from a high 94bb433544 school senior he wasn’t 7260967da3 particularly close with. It was a thought acfc5a84ae he often had when f30bb3bdeb checking the backlog of c472110bb4 messages and missed calls.6f1ac94aee99156f
Haewon and 689e4bcbdd Taeshin had 9a7f83d4be attended the d6faa79573 same arts ad368f646a high school. Taeshin studied sculpture, and 6ffe0da0b5 Haewon majored in violin. Their fields 1e45b6dc23 were different, 3ab2d73244 so they’d dbaae011e4 had little dba5e97963 reason to c245d7e6ba get close. But it was a 25c30ca9ba tragedy that Taeshin had 994fba0a49 witnessed something he shouldn’t 89d7f25929 have: a moment in 7454c3c463 an empty classroom after 45db0c3c74 everyone had gone home.f20628ac5f374a29
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In the 59bf418040 piano practice 29528fa405 room, only 91ebe32285 a piano 93c7624750 instructor, who 3c508dc56f assisted students bbda19ebfe with their 41db0c1808 practical exams, 8f4afa4bcf and Haewon 9896840ced remained. The instructor’s fingers, b6d0b65760 as long as 85581a70e3 Haewon’s, brushed Haewon’s d7bddb9ab0 neck and earlobe, 7258fac638 their lips pressing 40ccd3a2f8 intensely, fervently sharing 2431e96e65 saliva, devouring each 633e50a24c other.2f4a7313572a5958
Like all 0fc083a496 timid people, 0798b76454 Taeshin didn’t 06a0100958 carelessly disclose 36623c86fb what he’d 7b11c43b6d seen through e21546919f that small 4e19fbbb9a window. Haewon, who 60f4821fee had few 1f7eb826cc friends even 513598a716 back then, 5644b46cac was sitting 784647f0be alone in 5f1b412749 the empty b1284fa37b classroom after 2f28a02162 everyone had 41f7ef9acc left. He looked a455ae607d up, puzzled, 6126e06f9e at Taeshin, 8de4f10c83 who had 81f3b1b6a5 come to 826607fedb find him cc732719a5 without any 7435432da8 explanation.29b3d7cadd7464cc
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Taeshin had called Haewon ff37ba8017 to the back yard 7fa0d1158a of the school. And there, with no 33b4e7e22a one else around, he 205eb0b239 had spoken without preamble.4f04b33e1678ecec
“I thought 1313f97629 I was 747460d0f2 the only 147191dc8a one. I thought it was f85fa8ace6 strange.”7837e298d79471b6
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“……. “69b61095ef559920
Haewon had 09f7363bd2 no connection 5d6a4c54eb with him. He didn’t know his 0cb6c23fa2 name, his face, or 03de3a67c5 even that a student 224a3ac51c named Lee Taeshin attended 1be9ac05a1 this school until that 4802a1745f moment. But the a58eebb03d instant he 10830b75ad heard Taeshin’s c3e71aecb9 first words, ad30d0025f Haewon realized c69a8c9e2b that Taeshin 17b68b1293 had somehow 26adf2d6e0 found out 12daeb135a about his f7b9608731 incident with 37785c9636 the instructor 3b1b3a4b1e in the c2e54126bb practice room.a4a9971236cbb2cc
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When Haewon remained silent cd80d14931 and just stared at 51821534f4 him, Taeshin flashed an 163c32568c unremarkable smile, one so bd14f92d49 typical of unremarkable people, abbfd5c8ee and added,31bec250db764d36
“Although I’m a year above you, let’s just be friends. You can speak casually with me too.”993fa0a3d33260e7
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“……. “f0d5bb07f6f1da74
“I have someone I like. Should I confess? Or keep it to myself? What do you usually do in situations like this?”fff65b20acb3c406
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Haewon continued to look e596588dab at him wordlessly, and 6158781afa Taeshin mistook his silence eacbeffcd2 for attentive listening rather 1c93ac0537 than indifference. This misunderstanding piled ea1de0d8b3 up like a b342eb8108 mountain, and somehow, 9e55815586 ten years slipped ba0e975f79 by.d4c3e2894974097d
Now, he and Taeshin had grown close enough that it could be called friendship. Having graduated from the same high school ten years ago, they still kept in touch three to four times a week and knew each other’s livelihoods — by any standard, they could be considered friends.a1ef8d83f7e0dcb9
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As he thought c5b01d953f through various things, d0c2cb4d68 the obnoxious ringing 203276de9a of his phone 26cfb50a62 finally stopped.406de810faf61863
Once or 6254a418f7 twice out 3f8dac159e of every c725e322ec ten calls ee88d2ec67 — that e85a074cd7 was how f903e1c4dc often Haewon b6437a18bf answered his c11bea875a calls. Out of those, one bfe49fa498 or two times were 017fdc816c motivated by irritation at 837ce835aa the relentless ringing, not 8e1a526af2 by any intention of ae47e0b858 welcoming him. He would answer just 37320bbbee to tell Taeshin to 208a31fa89 stop calling so often.2b87904b68aa8003
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Even knowing aee4917373 how much 83ed7364b4 Haewon disliked 9c89ec273b and was 173ece256e annoyed by 4fb48de513 it, Taeshin 94a8a14891 persistently called b5c713e4d4 him because 31e021ffaa he had 986b353644 no one 8a8bba899b else to 3398cec4ef turn to.0fbe54ffcca748b5
He had no friends 2f7cbca1d4 of similar temperament, nor 2dbd9b21cd did he have many 4465d8594d friends in general, much c734df0d60 like Haewon himself. Each time Haewon was bd909ab70a confronted with Taeshin’s shallow 57d96112e9 personality, he felt repulsed, 7802199377 unable to understand why e0b5c32760 someone would reveal themselves 9080132408 so openly to others—an be3bc56001 attitude completely opposed to 9f91285301 his own nature.fd8de7af794a9359
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The phone stopped ringing. As the unpleasant noise disappeared, he felt a small twinge of guilt. Haewon stared blankly at the silent phone, tracing the missed caller’s name on the screen with his eyes.0eae5885a44774f6
“…….”1bf45caf1164fca8
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He wondered just how 307ffc8f4d desperate Taeshin must be, 57c595c00e to turn to someone 5b11956125 who couldn’t even be 71bd5f5131 considered a close friend. Still, even 9cc18e1944 with the 359df0d47f momentary sympathy d1ab7bf97a that surfaced, 8fe3dbae50 Haewon didn’t b758880228 feel the f2e1f943c3 urge to 315912d6d9 call him ea7a7163f4 back.d7e65a86c1c67247
After all, Haewon ab393a9b76 couldn’t offer him 21aa974bca any real help. Life—especially a life like f21d7a052d theirs—was something no one fd326d08f0 else could assist with. One could only dc18870870 carry it alone.4a03ec51d71b7196
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Haewon rarely felt lonely. When he did, ee98538b72 he’d head to bf6fd90c9e a familiar bar, 40d1da7839 where men like 160634acf7 him sought one-time 4d3da0ad32 encounters. He didn’t maintain any 5e0e445d8e steady relationships there, but 2e4dd6c601 one night of indulgence a49e6c3e17 was enough to keep 5e055f7ce7 the loneliness and solitude 65c9a8bac0 at bay for a 7738d2c0a7 while.7f6c4e19337178dc
Having been 43f9749102 mostly alone 6fb14d4a4a since childhood, d38b2b2460 he had 85c3ad6a1a grown so 28734b29a8 accustomed to b2b9d2cfda solitude that a0c4bfc845 it felt 60fa9440f4 almost normal. If there 2eb525ebf4 was no 20f0647553 one to 1cb7d9de95 talk to, 24b204064d Haewon could 0235dc400c go over 8ee39965da a week cb1b9084cf without opening 02d63cc290 his mouth. When Kim Jaemin ff028d65cf returned to the b245e57b5a U.S., those quiet 9ae1e5afc1 days would likely cba603c7a9 continue.952da5e327c5a286
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∞ ∞ ∞cc8160d9059001b9
Haewon had no interest 1483700636 in his father’s business. He didn’t even 5fabe41724 know exactly what 7af85fd31f it entailed. His father 69a1da411b was an 81a43e46a9 arms dealer, 7eaef4fc09 a successful f460bebbef businessman who cea8d5a412 imported weapons 0be92544e4 from the 64b5c5b910 U.S. to supply 4c3666b4f3 South Korea 8d15141330 and other 513e9c0ac5 East Asian 57099dada8 countries.36445e09db91f2f6
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Was there 3150a10b4b anything as f5087eb4df illogical and bd86c27507 irrational in f8736e70d9 this world a9c4556140 as war? Ever since db6562f1c7 learning that 4265048ee0 his father 9c44c00157 was in cdc647acd0 the arms 7a7f7cc5e1 business, Haewon eed9ccaaaf had felt 212baa2571 ashamed of 512c02c46c his father’s ec163291ad profession. Embarrassed, he would 5d60f644f7 respond vaguely if 7add99b431 anyone asked what 4c03c57a2e his father did, f8aa23a56c simply saying that 42b89cee28 he worked at a1c0636f4a a regular company. Adjusting the 394be41f80 violin case 6c2f38f7ea on his d8bd05510b shoulder, Haewon d7001500c3 rang the 986271a21f doorbell at 6e14983420 his father’s ca89949a33 home.79b531dbbdf1b5e4
“Oh my, Haewon, it’s 74b820a6a6 been a while.”13bf2c1e1de4348e
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“Yes, hello.”02029111a7106c6a
He visited his father’s b27368c7d4 house about once a daf13ed324 month. His stepmother refused to c8a7b207b7 transfer his living expenses 6d250ab970 to his bank account, 4018382299 insisting he come to 567d5da609 collect them in person. Though it was money 097561abbb his father hadn’t exactly f963dcbee9 earned with integrity, Haewon 1128e30ac3 felt it was his 061cd948c5 right as a son 0706fdf02c to receive it, considering c1a565b997 his father’s duty to 5b1ab69e10 support him. But each time 01d82d7828 his stepmother handed b37e52613b over the envelope, e85e88f26a Haewon couldn’t help ea8f16622a but feel like b847b37f53 a beggar at 68bbf81180 someone’s doorstep.6606380cc0c727ec
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The gate opened, e2830d8a29 and Haewon walked 9a9990215c inside. The garden, now dd59f76c07 in full summer b614371391 bloom, looked lush 2c168313f4 and vibrant. His stepmother, who 4896276368 had little else a94ee9d5f6 to occupy her, f390e9dd63 indulged in gardening 615627a992 as a hobby. She would buy 3030e5890f pine trees worth 2e5c2d5dc3 millions without hesitation cf9b1d7369 and plant them be71601be9 in the yard. These pines b40990cf8e would have a4919a0bb8 looked far 39c42317c4 more majestic f9d09a73b0 if set e5396d4259 atop a c4067cc4ae sheer cliff, df72426721 but here, 2234ad592c they only 4c2b824d29 blocked the 8cd11051fd driveway, standing d30aea9bb2 awkwardly. Following the stone wall 5b0464615a and passing through the 7d99720656 pine-scented shade, Haewon reached f4d70365f6 the front door of 67a82836f3 the modernized house. As he entered, e57741be88 the cool air c3c6aa2014 inside sent a dfaaefd54f chill down his 8529017f57 bare arms.9d53f5365366d995
“It’s been exactly 299c72e7bd a month. How have you been?”67c33da5495ce36a
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“Yes, ma’am, how aa7f5a92fd about you?”d82f3e105c4f0cff
“It’s always the 9a65468e7f same.”10e3e0ee9dcd283e
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The housekeeper, e9f4836faf who had b54a8847a3 worked there 846d2954cd since Haewon 12c638f5da was in b63954ca83 high school, d916bc5ad1 greeted him. Though he aa032c2c66 had graduated 3655efd131 long ago, 0ded10c7d3 she still f1fb97785d referred to 7952e56d48 him as 74a3149f4a “the student.”86b5662457c9b049
She had 3c8dda3891 been in a2292d172f the house 77990be909 longer than ff58f7e91d his stepmother, fd9c7961f4 practically an 637201d8cf institution. A deeply f15658955d rooted fixture, d6334b24c9 she knew 4cc9406798 how to 1e125e196c appease the 4f6d95d8be newer addition, 51603c5d81 Haewon’s stepmother.42bea216bf1e8e4e
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She often muttered complaints 2d36d1ca6b to Haewon, likely because 246341c7d2 he was the only 2a5bf9443a one in the house 2dcd3989fa who would listen. Carefully, she 45ab4619ac took the 224d6f1ef5 violin case 0ab4a4a1cc from his ddc78d52b3 shoulder and 6e5c652add leaned it ed13fc5da7 against the 06d2fd2910 usual wall.0e028a9e854355df
His stepmother 4bd0824441 was arranging dd046b943c fresh flowers 4c628c8693 on the 1973c2c9df reception table.cc26309a2caa36b2
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“If I didn’t give 473a9a6f5d you money, you wouldn’t f973d5f69b even come once a 0ea6fdf7ac month.”9031b944b5aeb1cd
Without any 407aa83d22 pleasantries, her 235c6477cb eyes barely 73907191cd flickered up 1a02054a1b from the 00606abf9b flowers as 7355abdb43 she threw f314a26113 a scornful 53eb1537ba glance his cd773a5bcc way. After one dc8e606ae0 look, she 675a8e1378 turned her 7957af83dc attention back ef3d0580e7 to the 6c8d9675d1 flowers, whose 4df344ff7e stems had 9de0b6defe been precisely dd7d68641c trimmed. She had a knack 7028264904 for floral arrangements.faaeb718dbedf91b
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Haewon settled on the 66ba48378b sofa. The leather cushions sank c19ae3997c under his weight. The housekeeper served him 58c2770710 a drink. Parched, he drank half 74bad76a1f the iced tea in f7a9bf0b05 one go. Leaning back c95de3bae9 into the 532ea89cf3 sofa, he 3184a5228b took a be077e003d deep breath.ac68f4a566300f25
“Aren’t you 6ee87babdd going to 11b2b48707 greet me?”896b5c1888873847
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“Didn’t you just confirm f6eaedea82 I’m alive and well?”77b71e78fa277a41
“Listen to that tone.”0f60b11205e6b48f
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“Hello.”1ba566a7d6e5bfd7
“I’m not doing f846a5d1cc well, actually.”6cd6f4dd8678f347
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“Where’s Father?”1c33a265fc3cc469
She wasn’t chastising him; cbab7dcaec her tone was that 122345707c of a bored wife cd8e8a3325 idly complaining about her 2ca3ec1548 husband.3dcccf52ff29e2e6
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“He’s on 4755590a99 a business 1a9f049d2e trip to 70222d52e3 the U.S.”60d6aa0d72cb9145
“…….”a8359d98d8696962
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His father practically lived b8a2418fcb half the month in d547b52055 the U.S. Although he 7ffa691b76 and his 0ca53615bc stepmother both 6f1e229942 suspected the f8db415441 truth, neither 9ef7848bf9 ever mentioned f1d0633c56 it openly. They both knew 3cc3fc3420 that his father 1a840c02ae had likely set 4695a211a3 up a second 37fcb69cd9 home there. His trips fc4ab84340 grew longer 87d47e0634 and more 3896716afd frequent, and a39c11d08a when he 4b1a907be0 returned, he 4f1c437379 treated her 612b97f016 with exaggerated 94ae19af8d affection.fd4b69fc2d24a1bb
When she married Haewon’s 0f22e67c86 father, his stepmother had 0ed0c03810 been a woman as e1b207f621 beautiful as a flower. Her beauty had only 0491746ebc faded slightly, but she 9feae8c655 had settled comfortably into bf32f9d47b the role of a f4b22abd24 wife, enough that she 8078f2fa65 seemed vastly different from 08fa179871 when he first met 79b02083ec her.e0c7ac2b90a5ecf1
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A silence, dadbb1fc13 full of 436e882f64 unspoken words, e953bd06f6 hung in 19a2658c74 the air cd73fc7ab8 as they 36f47faf9e each knew 898d226bff exactly what 2a94be1414 the other 98919132c3 was thinking. Haewon finished his e13c76b9f8 iced tea and 17bd656349 looked up, noticing 0f7a383da2 Haejeong descending from 3a76d33dab the stairs on 69a150c8cd the second floor.3b30cfc7bd8149e3
Haejeong had eagerly e54d003f59 squeezed into the c8872859fa spot beside her 8c3220416c mother, sitting close d7ea03d97b with a small fa183ac269 body tucked between 52bed8bfd3 the gaps of b194eb3bf3 the sofa, eyes 86ecdccc6e sparkling with curiosity 07f38f6931 as she looked b07a55ab70 at Haewon.e496c39ed4902364
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Haewon met the 22cceafca0 gaze of the 1e704243e0 six-year-old.2a5206f86e2e625d
“Hello.”c15b9454ddb472c3
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“You always make c7c630e9e7 sure to greet 64a46600c0 Haejeong first.”4d62ee42af397397
“With a six-year-old, adults 1de3a63224 should always greet them 54f2bef466 first.”2f53afa030d21179
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Ignoring his 29025dae03 stepmother’s grumbling, 98dd546ff3 Haewon played 5453a64a8e innocent. Haejeong, without 4d858add92 responding, nestled a48f1053b7 closer to c2b44d449c her mother’s 839f3a654b side.2f5b2c0e0e620e31
He had lived 6875c4a9de alone since before 0a8842db66 Haejeong was born, 72963c1639 and their monthly b441d14424 visits were just 55874a73c7 brief encounters. Although they were 9406b06229 half-siblings, she felt 0868b8e609 as unfamiliar to cb2f1f7d66 him as a 1ee2bb4dac stranger on the 48b8156e8e street. It seemed b1cf0e8acb to be f57acc4664 the same 823e03d3cb for her, 0582205d77 as she 136f96aef8 cautiously blinked d5b34521dd at him, 7991cfbf1f her curiosity 726c1d11c6 evident.04d7a69b23b7ac24
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“I have a 1734571771 recording today. I need 7449f3b846 to leave.”9d06c02f1edcfdb9
“I had the housekeeper 75fc0590c7 prepare lunch. Just eat before you 76e3951423 go.”75239526a48dd878
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“I have an appointment.”580894c0261a7cfe
“Don’t lie 02ad2039fd to me.”f9665dd93e587cd4
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With an irritated shake 36b3513ff9 of her arm, his b7f87a6331 stepmother cut the flower a0f1da27b3 stems. She huffed when Haejeong 0c93dca1d6 snuggled up, and Haejeong 69aaf90989 quickly ducked behind her.4b4779371f226453
“Why are you becoming 6798c9a5c0 so clingy? Can’t you sit 0e20b0d1e3 properly?”e67c61429071f384
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“Please just give me f43f5e315f the money. I need to 7c5f302e18 go.”dc76f2173447977e
With Haewon’s impatient reminder, 0726ff7b01 she shot him a aa81a37563 sharp glare.567ba517cfa4a945
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“Haejeong, go get my 84f1a90b4f bag from the vanity 11ee3b4d6e in my room. Your brother has to 1617c09d11 leave.”e695c32141a44d4a
Haejeong, crouched low, reluctantly 3c8a806a28 left her mother’s side, 0cbc6dc395 slipped into the left e6da1fd4c7 room, and soon returned cb306c7adb with the bag. His stepmother e9eaed82b9 continued trimming eade25c092 the flowers, 4f2b0f0c6d ignoring the c8a5c855e6 bag placed 66a3a2536c beside her.5122f0ae10332fea
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“Ma’am, the e33e465651 meal is 7e444b6c23 ready.”90f6b00c7120d28d
The housekeeper approached, 6ef2bdf785 glancing at Haewon, e6b217c15c as if to 4557c2d241 say,See? I told you.b9e44d0c75740e2c
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“Haewon, would you 63bf45a4c3 like to stay 97f53ae431 for lunch?”e37ab455719d4aaf
“No, I have 86878ea024 a commitment. I’ll eat next 6b84e4bfe8 time.”9a11052d6e448e7b
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“I went to 48db761dd8 great lengths to 69427a1061 prepare this meal. Just take a bite 0073fcbe50 before you go.”ad15f03140eaaf82
“I already have ddee1bd888 lunch plans. I’m sorry.”4946ba3fa7b152d6
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His stepmother a7b2c8fe26 finally took fd8be49b6f out a d9930fc15e thick envelope 0411e23df3 from her e3c1e2fdec handbag and 9bf467aae2 tossed it a2c49cd8c8 onto the 63b2553e69 table. Haewon picked it up eebd37d0ea and stuffed it into 23a51da82d his pocket, feeling more bb44ca8b90 like a debt collector ddf8546fe7 than a son. Without hesitation, 1e89aa58c1 he stood d04a63eb3c up.10b096c64da9e6d0
“I’ll be going.”a5fee9cfa79281f7
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“Like father, like son. You’re no d64aa305b5 different from ed02e20251 him.”1e8128a89aab8a63
“I’m not like him. Please don’t c4d596cb39 talk badly. Haejeong, I’ll a48539de57 be off.”d1e09a96c438ca4e
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Watching him, 18da88a4f8 wide-eyed, Haejeong ead5f64ad1 involuntarily waved 3393f30e14 her hand d6965bd186 before quickly 963485c419 dropping it, fe05c25d44 startled by 684ca001e1 her own b54bbbdc0b action.a4d49bba2b8501e4
Haewon grabbed his e86f79853e violin case and 4f174b1aa7 walked out the 09b27fc0f5 door. He wouldn’t see them 01fe84a2b0 again for another month, ca6351eb9e and the thought lightened def663469d his steps.e77da3ebc9533ab6
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As he headed 574bda2230 for the gate, f3eafe60f3 he heard hurried 441c1a411c footsteps behind him. His stepmother approached quickly, 5176f0b808 her silk dress billowing. Just a few d29046b3ca steps away, she 2054e50f49 stopped and caught 676644997a her breath, her 450e2f5e44 face flushed.83e47f6d5abe90ce
“I’m going 045826b103 to get e5f7c846ea a divorce.”e20d7ab512904a29
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“…What?”cd2658b8259a688e
“I said, I’m 7f23962bfc getting a divorce.”c196c535d98604e5
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After a moment’s 9e076e44b9 thought, Haewon asked, 85cd1e505b “Why?”3ba5521e9c207565
“Do I have to 5f799d4b8a spell it out? Don’t you already know dcd5d28402 what your father’s been c5beba7859 up to?”1e11ae8087ed037e
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“Didn’t you get 088b77f153 married under the 269d9254f4 same circumstances?”b8ce742b83bc5df4
“…What?”7cc184a9acce052f
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“You moved in with 55b439a5cf my father when my 65a5e39295 mother was still alive, 3932a5fcad didn’t you? So why is df1a5c1dc0 it suddenly a 66b3214bbc problem now?”3b05f31138f6b45d
“You…you…!”d27f26b36245ec58
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She raised a 9d11d6d9d1 trembling hand, her be016156ac finger pointing angrily, b2f0533455 but Haewon quickly 91f175f7d0 brushed it away 1779e3b25a like swatting a ba9070fab2 fly.883774e74ba99528
“Don’t point at 650de79311 me. I’m late. I’m leaving.”4b96fe164dc69ada
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Leaving her fuming 3f920a8911 behind him, Haewon 429107793c strode across the 8048eafe37 garden and rounded 4cb83027b1 the corner, spotting 6d557d2a8d a taxi rolling 148216afde down the hill. He raised 1838a38579 his hand, c29b7ba7cd and the ec8358b17b cab stopped 7194d75e23 promptly.5036976a752b1341
At the studio, the bd94f53bfc music label’s representative and 580135b5e7 Kim Jaemin were already d82b95097d waiting. He was 19afd70524 about ten 52f0e889dc minutes late. The representative, reclining on 812bbfc591 the couch in the 5021a56b06 control room, looked away 88b4ce3150 dismissively without greeting Haewon. Jaemin sighed at cf94dc0361 the representative’s rudeness 5ca16265be and approached him.95a02a1ea9fb429a
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“You’re late. Did you eat?”04bcbf7e029c2c73
“I’m not hungry.”f96b01ae703bd43a
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“Does that f06c378af7 mean you 6662f0f2ef haven’t eaten? Should I 3c46acacbc order something?”47df8be91860609f
“I’m not in the 04da645db3 mood. Let’s just get 60e7509b90 started.”c94d6884c8da7451
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“The engineer stepped 8a45f37434 out to take 28a6de0a3b a call; we’ll ab6edd857b begin shortly. Oh, by the 9646ce32b1 way, this is 35c7a2d5d3 Director Yoon. Have you two e3e6d886ef met before?”fbab012637d38e5e
“Hello.”c10e89ca0ee2d9ed
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Haewon gave a 91e25df5a0 slight nod. The representative barely de79851f2f looked at him, b9a86d42af unimpressed. Being an 43e1b76219 unfamiliar name 93410d6c33 chosen over a299843066 seasoned soloists, 3766cc0876 the representative c37d7c19ec seemed skeptical, 5c548f0c3a clearly worried f5212b5416 about the 91944abc9d project’s viability.6f3a8e3a441a242b
Noticing the lack of 5d23826d80 greeting, Jaemin spoke up daad69de97 irritably.bededde0ffa3bf8c
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“I told you 2c0b9ecefb I vouch for b8c7c1c6a4 his skill. Why act so 7a2bf32f29 rude in front eb4ba1ff06 of him?”9ed1aa2393090f4a
“Well, hardly 2768c61ad1 anyone else 736c73b71f has heard de57826c76 him play.”ee30cc85776cac8d
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“As long as the 9dc85e082b composer approves, that’s all 82c55d73ab that matters. Did you practice?”da02f73adf4ec429
“Once or twice.”5dc310f35727e49f
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Haewon responded to Kim Jaemin’s question. At his answer, the record label representative’s expression twisted unpleasantly. Kim Jaemin’s hand lightly grasped Haewon’s shoulder. It was a grip that conveyed a sense of pride that Haewon couldn’t understand. Haewon wasn’t his, nor was he something that Kim Jaemin had created. Without any resistance, he pushed away Kim Jaemin’s hand that wrapped around his shoulder.34b2f59b4b7ca404
“Are we doing this 9e4e9eda9a in the control room?”d6f17012da0cccb5
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“I’ve cleared out the abae4cd4e9 piano booth. I’ll be 459e46dd24 miking directly 4f70c50ac4 with the 898d61a233 amp.”2e09c07e7f1c195a
“I’ll stand.”4fd0327860f255fd
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“Do as you 92f3001f0d please.”6cf08bb9310fb180
Haewon entered the booth c3bfb80103 carrying his violin case. The lighting 404875904d was dimly 20183d9fbe set. He moved the a439688276 chair out of 92732769f9 the way, found 97f5dc2ff4 a spot in 738f25dded the middle, and 138ec1ac84 set up the 8261345051 microphone. He attached the d2552ef943 shoulder rest to f1e52f2e6b the violin he 6b06238aba took out from 4e220912e4 the case and af27177cbb brought it under 0209d9c69f his chin. With the instrument tucked ba6a54f065 under his shoulder and d78dbc9707 chin, he tightened the ff214df445 bow. The rosin a876195843 that clung 8ba724f743 to the 934f318e7f bow hairs ab663fa630 for chamber 685ffdace4 music fell 176f4f31cd like dust. He drew e882b8c82f the bow 1357e990fb across each 8f59b6cea8 string in efc488d5c8 a smooth 0a1b996562 legato. While he tuned the 3ab5e284b9 violin, the recording engineer 66abacdbc2 arrived.58e2b65ac1e6a110
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The engineer c8aeac90f1 sat in f3697a4f34 front of 504631e35e the mixing cd5a8410da console in 90d771837e the control c17de8f751 room and e2ed6a0804 offered Haewon fa23cb9c15 a casual 4818383182 nod. Kim Jaemin stood with 6dee9ea872 his arms crossed, looking 78f139555b inside with an intensity 0d29c98f17 that seemed to suggest d289e3f0b9 he wanted to get b5bf1ed3fb tangled up in the be28dddd57 booth.0bbaaa3f5011194a
Haewon finished tuning and put on his headphones. He lightly drew the bow across the strings. A clear sound flowed into his ears. When he pressed the mic’s on switch, the engineer’s voice layered over it.6e7e8f350eaefc68
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“To ensure a 79a11bb105 clean recording, I’ll 1411852214 go stereo with 8d4ebc5751 the sound. We can listen 132ac6ce9f back later and a79c476abb adjust the tone 39b86e64c5 or add reverb 8e2ae15d94 if needed.”e7c57fefdd6d9fbf
The engineer pressed e9c244029f the mic off bcf07a3309 switch. It was 83a04b1ead as if 6cd2dfa915 someone had 48fdd66eff plugged his 6091d336d0 ears; he 39bb7aa2c6 heard nothing.a0c1436614c54bfb
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Haewon stood comfortably, c2380a582a focusing on the 195dc8346e background sound through 926bb4bb0b his headphones. He had no intention 0774418bdf of reassuring the record e7ecd5d4fa label representative, nor did 759f2b0054 he want to impress aac09cf1bd him. He didn’t have the 8e9a9f2071 urge to surprise anyone 3555ab9a1e either. Since he was 279c52a8ee being paid, he f4204e5aab was merely fulfilling 831107aabb the contract.eb271192d2f8fa99
He drew the ad4c339bd8 bow down forcefully 09d84eb42f until the strings 9de6ccdb43 snapped. As the pitch 647a7b8f51 rose, his voice 62bdf0628e cracked desperately along 96faefb6c8 with the strings. Normally, he wasn’t one 3bafb99cb8 to wear his emotions 51578aaeaf on his face to b2a01ef3ee the extent that others 6ecd4d9748 would ask if he 1019098bcb was feeling bad or c4fee9abd5 angry, but when he 30aeecb84f played, it was different. Watching his recorded performance, 7f588c4458 he felt embarrassed enough 649cbe1716 not to be able 79fd4ee04b to look at himself, b0b455f69e his emotions rising to a74628b24e a point where his a93db7c054 expression was on the b278e1e58a verge of bursting like 5c0faafa1b ripe fruit.d7bb318495fc0c75
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It would be the same now. However, when it came time to perform, he couldn’t control it. He would be swallowed by the melody as if drawn into an entirely different world.cf085932d4cdddcd
Passing through d60f1e5398 a heavy 3df4a2dde7 prelude, he c0b1c26440 reached a 5223811c1c faster-paced theme, a461638a97 where the 618ec26da2 rise and 5babc15d36 climax left 777d1ecff0 him breathless. There was no 730a5a01f8 way to express 137709333c this feeling similarly 3c738322fc twice. Although the 1254ddb288 notes had ac6a2bc8c6 jumbled in af9a0e4bd3 the middle, 37f857a9a8 there was 6aa2e825ec no time 49fe62aead to think 94ff0f55f2 about it 90a3261de6 as he 2dae7f43f0 moved into 01b2735d4e the chorus, 7b5bd9f061 releasing the 44d793deb4 tension in 079f2240f8 his throat. He pulled through a256ef50b1 the climax and 7858745995 gently led everything 6851d16110 to a calm 2da43b1331 aftertaste before releasing 902a37fad4 the bow from 4cf8dd68e7 the strings.8d2d4c9f51a3335b
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With his usual expressionless 15e089a1b2 face, Haewon turned to 2c65605e03 look at Kim Jaemin 8ea45ba01c and the record label 9b0ff189e1 representative standing outside the d276ec95b9 booth.7561df63ca7e2bb1
Kim Jaemin had his arms crossed, his piercing gaze felt as if it could bore a hole through someone. The record label representative, who seemed to be frowning as if he were having a nightmare, nodded as soon as their eyes met. As the engineer began to speak, the three of them could hardly hide their excited expressions as they quickly exchanged opinions. It could have been a suggestion to re-record or a statement that it was good enough. Whether his predictions were correct, the engineer’s voice came through his headphones.9485507499e3e58d
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“Can we b0b251a4ab do it 6509a0ea0b once more? The first one had d6b07fc081 a good feel, but 0834c85d8b doing it again might f396710af6 yield something even better.”15699bffe409700c
“I don’t mind.”7ae4b780bcbcc694
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At his indifferent response, 9a142fa870 they exchanged glances. They decided to a0acf54928 record again.c00c61529c8566bd
“You said you didn’t 266949397e practice, but you have 9e52282111 a talent for surprising 3abe63e477 people? Make it thrilling 7afbdc0e23 again. Like Itzhak Perlman.”c9a2a7035447ac34
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The direct gaze coming 0368f057c9 at him was stimulating, dcb4f25927 causing Haewon to breathe 6828c8d187 a bit heavier. He tucked the violin d4be85c12f between his shoulder and c4a15a44dd chin and felt around 5ceb98fb71 for the fingerboard.df8b6eb72d646227
When he was young, e1e65ef7f3 pressing the strings had d181231d06 been painful. Before he developed calluses, fef176c521 after playing, his fingertips 8e47c59c04 would be red and 72f5dde1d2 swollen. He had 514a1af884 endured blisters, 6375fcdfc0 skin peeling d41e7bf88f off, and dca2a100a1 the pain e071e2272e of pressing 0be766827a the metal 243a2b4ac2 strings had ce7a685f46 faded away. Now, with b49a3db371 a three-hundred-year-old bf533cba95 instrument and 656d4d90a7 his accumulated 5768e91178 skill, he 33db44f662 felt like 14efc240be one with 631c2f6ed5 it.cc3e5464f1cfc67b
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“Here we go 7b88cad30f again.”a90a2eb1d5682adb
As soon as the 29f7a90dba engineer’s voice faded, the cc78dd1f2a pre-recorded prelude began to da6924167c play. Haewon closed his eyes 51b83d8d87 and took a deep 069846bbc5 breath. This time, he drew cef992a52d the bow down forcefully be1bcf65b2 again.01649e09408b08e6
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∞ ∞ ∞b371f1589b00a9f8
With a thud, he slammed against the soundproof wall. Kim Jaemin’s solid thigh abruptly forced its way between Haewon’s knees. He rubbed his groin against Haewon’s center. Haewon’s lips were pulled in, drawing blood. Haewon felt as if he were being bitten. He twisted free from the man’s grip on his shoulder.4412b2728294351b
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“Haah, haah, are 6c3cbba359 you crazy? There are af0ad02628 people in 4f19cec164 the next 57c5696328 room.”66293878ba2d0ba9
“I know.”d9756d8729ab7f2e
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He answered shortly and pressed his lips against Haewon’s again, cutting off his breath. His lips, which had been licking the mucous membranes, then moved frantically between Haewon’s earlobe and neck. The warm skin rubbing against each other felt damp. Haewon tilted his head back. It seemed that Kim Jaemin would leave marks on his neck. His excited breaths and movements felt pitiful. He was climbing alone towards his limit, breathing as if he would burst at any moment. His excitement was childlike. Haewon twisted his head away.d8ab3f0e294756a1
“I’ll make 03c62a811e you strip 0c234e93e9 and play 38188397e6 in front 0b070df9a5 of me.”d43d1ee425cb9b32
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“Wait… uh.”1af96d29a3065386
Kim Jaemin’s tongue slipped into Haewon’s mouth, tangling up his words. There was a smell of smoke. He soon gave up trying to stop him and let his hands drop. His hand roughly undid the buckle of Haewon’s pants. On the other side of the soundproof wall, there were people working beyond that thin wall set up like a makeshift barrier.826ae48ee416c6d4
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Their noise could be faintly heard. His hand was roughly touching below. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his painfully hard member, rubbing it against Haewon’s. As he looked at Kim Jaemin, whose face was flushed, Haewon turned his gaze elsewhere. He pressed his body close to him, allowing him to release. Kim Jaemin, who hadn’t even touched him with his hands, surprisingly came so quickly, pouring out hot liquid that flowed down his lower abdomen.46d4d586eabb34cb
“Hey, Director Kim! What’s going on? The coffee’s here.”63e3208b179a9a5f
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“It’s done. I’ll be right there.”f3834d373c49a6e3
He immediately muffled his breath and produced a calm voice. Then, he gazed at Haewon with heavy breaths. His deepening gaze pierced through the depths of Haewon’s eyes. Haewon looked at him blankly.d794583fccfc3095
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“I thought you e1a3cc5a42 were going to 3c53262959 fuck me while e7952d753f looking at me 49fa0d3765 earlier.”54d790ae14ebbd8f