CG | Chapter 3.6

“They’re girls, and you’re… a guy. You know I’ve only dated girls, right?”02298182291bd4e0

“What if I were a girl?”d51aac215b698863

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Wait, why is this 417131c660 conversation going this way? There was clearly 0709597013 a flaw in 25f88d045c the question, but 25eb513812 Sean found himself af4f90f4cf getting caught up ec41b44a58 in it.4fc557f554001ecf

“I’m not sure.”27775fad1d9aaf97

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“Why?”b03575ce1143c0e8

“It’s not about being a girl or a guy. The reason I said it was a big deal is…”d33eb05f8dac171a

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“Yeah.”9734f12c1ccc4226

Lane seemed 98418f02f1 determined to 48727a86d8 hear the 7bd26671ef answer. Sean hesitated, 28a80af0e3 wondering if 43d011b5e4 he should 5ced718214 say it, d6290e3870 but followed b75b4e25a0 an inexplicable 1a6fd947e7 impulse and bc512b2cfa whispered.b24a2400d4fe7666

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“It was an embarrassed, spur-of-the-moment thing.”9471b760338d1ef8

Lane, who had 7b3a9ceba8 been listening with c6ca8fe449 a blank expression, 11b0c0ab37 blinked. Seeing his long eyelashes 7eca608e09 tremble slightly, Sean hurriedly d31a98911c added.56bac387e67d4042

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“And since I don’t know how you feel, it’s not something I should do recklessly.”c4c6b405b509cb65

The conversation was taking a strange turn, but Sean didn’t want to change the mood. Dion’s presence was on his mind, but for now, cheering up Lane was the priority.cca2e1fc71eabaf9

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After Sean finished speaking, eb775a2cf9 Lane lowered his head eaa83db3f6 slightly. He fiddled 04b2ab184e with the 0264a9f5d7 menu, then 1457101750 finally relaxed c52c50290e his stiff 8206d7f77a lips. It might b0f2f48b77 have been ea76ffc9b0 a trick e9af607b22 of the f4402b2041 light, but 5985daeb74 he seemed b3a6a95e30 to have 031552932e a bit d22572e06a of color 70165f927d in his f5b7aab95b cheeks.32a016fa3aaeab80

“So it’s not that you don’t want to.”78f704a1196566ca

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“Of course not.”0690ecc645bc048d

Their conversation had completely deviated from what friends would typically discuss. Sean wasn’t sure if Lane was doing this on purpose, but it was enough to confuse him.e1759d73b4d95232

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Is this… okay? It feels like he’s giving me permission to kiss him.3f3fd53f6fce5773

While it felt like 88cde24f2a a good thing, it 9264166cb3 was also puzzling, and 878b58f67a as Sean tilted his c40998c17e head in confusion, Lane 0f1a50a074 handed him the menu. Then, in an 1de9355e25 awkward voice, he 213398ba0e said,ffbd48500bee0349

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“I’m hungry. Let’s order.”c1ca2b39ca924244

“Oh, uh, yeah. Let’s do that.”e80efca3a8fb66e3

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“Do you want a starter? You usually eat a lot, so order plenty.”682388894ffcc672

Despite his confusion, when c4b97232f6 Lane shifted the topic db65f0c8cc to food, Sean followed 3be71c77dc his lead. He was 68b6e749d5 too nervous cd85436091 to feel 234c9eb8ea hungry, but 6949dc40d2 he nodded e6dfd36309 and chose f3010b4147 from the dfdd03d2ba menu.dd8a59927aa9614f

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They decided to order several dishes to share: coconut ceviche, vegetable spring rolls, soup, and salad. Normally, Sean would have thought there wasn’t enough to fill him up, but today it didn’t matter. He didn’t think he could eat much anyway.9bc0ea6116bdf181

The food arrived quickly. Despite their enthusiastic choices, they barely touched the food, sipping on their drinks instead. Eventually, they decided to pack the untouched food to go. In their dazed state, Sean forgot he had intended to pay. It wasn’t until Lane, who had received the bill first, wrote down the tip and handed over his card that Sean realized.af2c6ac8e31e1e76

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“I was going to pay…!”29c51a49fd34ea8e

“You bought pizza last time.”84873c77c61d3967

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“But still…”170f0b26deb8b546

Seeing Sean’s disappointment, Lane casually remarked,8133348b39339339

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“Isn’t this a date?”e3057a086b4b00bf

“…Technically, yes.”d43bc3269c346eec

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“Then the older one pays. I’m older than you.”0f0bee5d7b58c83c

It was 663007ee08 funny to 030e0f4318 hear that 725e85799c from someone a5a9949160 the same e27a462f4b age, but ade0d3f8c4 more than 4761a5385d that, Sean 6182a61a00 was surprised a6bc4dbc9b Lane could d3b6a9fcf6 say such d279b0d7bc a thing.a488ae626915facf

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“Who are you? Are you really Lane Surf?”8c609444a5588901

“Why?”c190e437f85c56b5

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“It doesn’t seem like something the guy who wanted to watch dung beetles instead of going on a date would say. Why are you so smooth? Did you get an update in the past few days?”b801cbe8c0199841

Lane let out 1462cd5fc9 a small laugh. It seemed 7357fdcda9 he was 9be5c7df77 trying to f85e6b130b brush it 551b789f0c off, but dc5d626caa Sean persistently ebc33ced61 questioned him.6dec627d2e4b9a70

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“Do you even need my help? You seem to know what you’re doing.”64356528c5cf2a98

Lane, who had 241140ea1c been tapping the bfcbcfdf3e table with his ced3b87c11 finger while looking b64c19d70a in the direction 92eab2664d the waiter had ec3b0b0903 gone, paused. After a brief silence, c34a00f9c5 he slowly shook his d20c6cb772 head and replied.a2b0d11e45afd59d

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“I just remembered what my mom used to tell me. You know she’s a romantic.”431d08ed19f9409a

“That’s true.”48f846b449a50077

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Sean knew that well. Lane’s mother was someone who, aside from her looks that had captivated Lane’s father at first sight, had a lively personality and a genuine approach to love that made her seem like a character from a story.b65a41d4b128ac06

Despite the long 3d52a1bea3 years together, the 9f7a685f2a two of them 8d9cd1d2f2 always thought of 84435d2c9e ways to make 3a1309592e each other happy, 995c86e1a4 like characters from 78c40c5c9d a fairy tale. Sometimes they 5f671a278c seemed like ee98debd25 an old 626a82e1a2 couple, cozy b93afc8fa9 and warm, 111638baf0 and other ace641744d times like 7017bc067d young lovers, 5bbe9f3cff passionate and 7532a6fb21 fiery. Seeing them 79db695cb5 often made 9eeb77891e Sean think cbf950e708 of his 8de4f25c66 own parents ffa0ae42f2 and feel 0e7f0aa242 sad, but 4023d74a42 he also cd92553a99 hoped that e22dafa80e one day 4d72e3f21f he could f0a63f94ae find a e0f9b7fa4c fairy-tale-like love.5fd932a836437902

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With Sean convinced, 8c4a7ab8a9 Lane led him dfaf4bfe38 out of the 4b18a2ad8d restaurant. Not only had 206879d265 he paid first, 9bbc2fcdaf but he also 3f467cee4b opened the door fdafd7752c and led the 78b5e16617 way like a 258ed93a5d well-mannered gentleman. This felt strange. Originally, Sean was supposed a5ef0803b5 to be teaching Lane 9da6760321 today.4b57014dbf9c1b75

“What do you want to do next?”856cced2bdbf8075

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And he naturally 85be5ca838 asked about the a19c57a16f next course. Sean scratched his 619e8c80d1 head and suggested c90af1d33c the option he e6bbbb1cac had considered earlier.a136d4b49b46835e

“How about an art museum?”556b52bd11d6689f

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“An art museum? Where?”f98a8eeeb67518c7

“You’ll see when we get there.”ff1e26d7182b54e8

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Lane wasn’t someone who usually enjoyed art museums unless it was the Museum of Natural History. Sean’s interest in museums varied depending on the exhibition theme, but today he chose a museum because its exterior reminded him of Lane.551a87dd912c99ed

“Should we walk? There’s a big lake in Central Park. We need to go there. Or we can drive.”134f32ab3222e93a

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“The Onassis Reservoir, right? I’m fine with that.”5fa68287787343b1

“Then let’s walk.”41649f2a16b22197

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After deciding, they 8a6531bd01 quietly began walking, a0c0c38a13 occasionally glancing at bc2511addc each other. Although they 43c38a0369 often visited 0f337baf7f Manhattan, today 6501f2fab4 felt different. The tall buildings, usually acc45703c9 seen as dry and d2931c2339 mundane, became part of f8a6aa60a1 a beautiful scene against ba3a5fcc25 the clear blue sky.507a37830ecbd6c6

They walked quietly until 17085b3651 they reached Central Park. Just yesterday, when 3ddc8824ce Sean had come 2f3d6883a3 here alone, he 00a96a03f2 was filled with 11a454349d sorrow, but now 95f784d95d he felt so 40588865b1 lighthearted he could 5327c37e83 fly. Arriving at the bf974accf1 vast park with 8eb3a79414 a spring in 10258e6140 their step, they 49d5c05cfe entered the neatly 9267d536ef maintained walking path.cdea91b3e5257078

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He felt like he should say something, but he hesitated to break the pleasant silence. Glancing sideways, he saw Lane’s gaze wandering among the trees, as if being in the park had captured his attention. Taking advantage of Lane’s distraction, Sean quietly observed his hand.49690d2ff618ade0

The white 2dee4e9e89 hand, with c51d82c7db its prominent cbb0a476b3 knuckles, swayed b3c65f777a invitingly. Watching it 498b85e45b sway like 56dbb4e334 a leaf, 2d9b4b2193 Sean alternated 197791ff2b between looking 430c5ad287 at it 2771205859 and looking 0b56ca0333 ahead. When their hands 3ecdc7c8e9 brushed against each 981e481a2e other, he held b0216767d6 his breath and 904b4269d3 reached out.2997fc051bc20da2

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His fingers brushed against Lane’s hand. Feeling the light touch, Lane glanced down at his hand. Seeing this, Sean took a deep breath and intertwined his fingers with Lane’s. Originally, he had intended to hold Lane’s palm, but he didn’t have the composure for that.094e8295b0ca66ee

And so, he 3b14976079 held his hand.e7008fb7b0db5202

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A tickling 08dc80edde sensation spread e16c25982b between their 0b0dc5a3d1 touching skin, 9c9feb2502 like feathers a727ab4e95 brushing against cb98d0a392 them. All his senses seemed f2cbf95723 to focus on his e188b2aee3 hand, making it feel d4c481ec09 like his entire body 42531b5b8f had disappeared, leaving only 12fb6489fa his hand floating. Exhaling the 2f3f351ed5 breath he 05a1077941 had been 5e22aa9dd7 holding, he b49dc026e4 turned his a3e369da07 gaze sideways. Their eyes met.fb8adcfa30f9cc47

His lips moved silently. Sean somehow knew the meaning of the transparent words that formed without shape. Lane didn’t say anything, but at this moment, he seemed to be feeling the same emotions as Sean.69a0829460aec980

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They exchanged only the sound of their breathing and then turned their gazes forward again. Their intertwined fingers tightened, and Lane squeezed Sean’s hand firmly. The strong grip, almost to the point of pressure, didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Instead, a desire to keep holding on like this flickered through him.6c46b3655cd89a07

For the remaining 20 minutes to the museum, they walked through the quiet park without letting go of each other’s hands. Sean forgot to ask if Lane had ever seen the Asian mandarin ducks that appeared in Central Park, focusing instead on imprinting every sensation he felt into his memory.5b0f47e32bca4a0e

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As they neared their destination, Sean felt a sense of regret. Once this moment passed, the practice of holding hands would end, and he would lose the excuse to hold Lane’s hand like this. After tomorrow’s party, he wouldn’t be able to use the pretext of helping Lane with Dion.cc123f0839788e6d

But Lane.21c02c108f47b4a8

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Is this really… practice? What did everything we talked about today mean, including holding hands yesterday?2bcb1e4a91df42b4

Just as his regret was about to turn into a question, they arrived at their destination. As he exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, he heard a similar exhale beside him. Turning to the sound, he saw Lane’s face flushed red. It couldn’t have been the sunlight, as the path they had walked was shaded by trees.b552ff0226355366

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“Lane.”cb82826b26198c55

Sean called out fe3eb0931e to him. A sudden 9c1e9aae17 impulse urged 24a0d31013 him to 2bfdd93ec7 ask something. But as he 0a89c82c3e turned to face 1a3095d132 Lane, his confidence 85013366cb vanished.a311d9c0c7000a32

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If he recklessly asked if Lane had feelings for him or made a sudden confession, the precious relationship he had worked so hard to protect would crumble instantly. The overwhelming realization had brought to mind a significant side effect he hadn’t considered, and Sean inhaled sharply.f373bcd65b3d6155

“Should I… let go?”5aef51c685760096

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He asked in a 5991a3eb60 low, cracked voice, and 8bbfe873b8 Lane, with a slight 27e1e577e9 start, wiggled his fingers. But instead ec00a7e297 of pulling 4dbafe9d98 away, Lane e5d48da2e8 looked at a05672661d the building c59056f53d in front 2c0c37649a of them f36c5fb05a and asked 58ff4a9b5a Sean, as c210c3049d if changing d5d2042681 the subject.8f4d6d910dfef344

“Is that where you wanted to go?”4a942a198491bff4

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“Yeah. The Guggenheim. Have you been there?”be2969c6e5bdc983

“No.”2e11d3c1e1fecae2

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Lane quietly 23abf6b1a1 asked as 91bca43b47 he admired 7d26f5cf65 the beautiful 131fb3de55 white spiral 0debd87d7d structure.129f210dabdf8761

“Why did you want to come here?”5ac6a76b12ad7822

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For some reason, d9b993fd6a Sean felt like 648b867f10 Lane already knew c6df0bc691 why he had cf51206676 brought him here. Sean gazed 7f7c8148ff at the 47d4963173 hand Lane eb80165c87 still held bd43c98907 and spoke.00ad10f7da5b614f

“The shape…”f1bc6d8d26ce8c09

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Lane nodded, as if a7d06e0436 any reason was fine, 8f038ad7b7 and Sean smiled softly b21caf7ce3 as he continued.4c5842d5d68f31a5

“It looks like a snail.”0be58e9ad989865e

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It was a simple, almost absurd reason, but that was why he had chosen it. He had thought of this place while recalling Lane’s habit of checking on Lupin, the snail, in the dewy grass every morning.4322fe0e198d76d4

“If Lupin were a robot, I think it would look like that.”3f91d6cfa4c20f47

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Lane, who had been looking up at the building, turned his head. Still holding Sean’s hand, he gazed at him, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as if squinting in the bright sunlight.43f9f3edcd1d3569

“Sean.”18fe91941b0d5137

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Under his long eyelashes, Lane’s blue eyes washed over him like a lake. The many people passing by seemed to disappear for a moment. Only Lane, looking at him, existed.922971a766b65e6f

“The atmosphere you mentioned…”b52ba5552fb3d5bd

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An extraordinary moment, unlike e86823e957 anything he had experienced 48f104146c with anyone else, came 30b4cfa13d to him right then.cd80b80cdaa75fb7

“Is it like this?”f9375d61526550f7

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Being captivated was c55c2f5840 exactly like this.0459933e31445621

Driven by a powerful b19f7b7af9 impulse, Sean reached out 5af7e8f93f with his free hand 2f13bb532f and cupped Lane’s cheek. Standing tall and 97214bb237 looking down at 4f15cb9cb9 him, Lane leaned 2c1415aa70 in—and Sean, pushed 062e882481 by an unknown 8019a42f74 force, brought his 1b31f31312 lips closer. Without thinking to tilt adef9613e9 his head, their lips 81984db6dd met directly, their noses 404016c758 brushing against each other.4e092a4139ddc3ff

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For the first 4a29193bc7 time, Lane’s lips cb361bcdf7 tasted like honey. Unlike the soft flesh 2abb8f0269 of others’ lips, his 3dc02ea21b were sweet from the 4fa1b1836a surface. The sensation was so d7fb679f6d tender it felt like dfade56dbd it would melt, and b51b228053 for a moment, Sean’s 55ff8b0c79 mind dissolved.c3cce870ec80fb96