CG | Chapter 3.5

As he spewed out words he didn’t mean, his self-loathing reached its peak. If he hadn’t realized he liked Lane, he might not have known, but now that he did, the despair was even greater. Helping someone he liked prepare for a date with someone else. Instead of helping, he should be sabotaging it.0517a3ae8573a4e5

But he couldn’t do that to Lane. If nothing else, Sean never wanted to see Lane sad. Even if he sabotaged it and ruined things, Lane wouldn’t end up liking him.806153a54ccdd103

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The fact 680ad30232 that he d58a2ed44d asked for 44ef9d92cf my help cc18d81632 means Lane 7bb2e8649e only sees e4bc0a2423 me as c9d900e7e5 a friend.a586a2d6cc4acbe9

If Lane knew he liked guys and had any feelings for him, he wouldn’t have asked for this favor. It was proof that he hadn’t thought of him in that way at all.0cb429fcacf0f3e8

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“Sean.”2d906ae547f75747

As the slowly rising misery hardened Sean’s expression, Lane called out to him. His voice sounded as if he had been thinking deeply, and Sean couldn’t help but glance sideways. Lane looked as if he had made a firm decision.1267f9a1224331a4

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“Let’s not talk about Dion today.”c02b302d00f6df01

You just brought c5f0bc352a him up. Sean glanced at him 53942bb3c9 with a crooked expression.3c23c9d999fbb872

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“Why? This is all for Dion.”ed10a60f41f12700

“…That’s true, but.”b6a61b5553161ba7

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Lane seemed at 3245dcdb62 a loss for e3df2daf84 words and bit bfb7cb6af2 his lip slightly. Seeing his white 3f08cd46f4 teeth press against 8a275a0256 his pink lips, d429b11e4c Sean turned his 241310c3a8 head as if 9bb5901cfe he had seen 543b63224d something provocative.d19a698da4f1e616

“I want to do it like a real date. Like the dates you’ve been on.”c6e3aee85dbb87cb

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As Sean tried 393d0e2327 to focus on b6e469e1f2 driving and head 669c23b48c somewhere, Lane said 7eb75e1e35 something unexpected. He barely resisted 7130650076 the urge to 64e3e686fc slam on the 61cf04c41b brakes. His previously 51408169b1 limp hands 10161645bf regained their 9e035c1d11 strength.a911facd9d1dfb21

“What do you mean by that?”72eb7454958d0724

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“Let’s not think about Dion… and pretend it’s a date between you and me.”1c15d5376f310568

A tingling sensation, like an electric shock, flashed through his mind. He knew it was just a hypothetical, but he almost mistook it for something else. As if Lane wasn’t entirely uninterested in him.779cf289cb698db0

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“Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you? I’m your long-time friend.”b86f183802ef8e34

This isn’t something I usually do, so it feels awkward.4ef1e917e6d31613

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“What if we hold hands or do things we don’t usually do and it becomes awkward?”db36fa298dabc7ed

I can’t stand not testing the waters. I want to create an opportunity, even if I have to force it.f71dfa9e90a88e65

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“Are you okay with that?”5999da97a0b449db

Sean gritted his f46aac9114 teeth to hide d2e7cfaf4d his desperate hope 059cccb1c7 for a positive e8d03a9d03 answer. The one second d5acfe87d7 he waited for 8bed470656 a response, alternating 872022de39 between looking straight ea4b850a62 ahead and at 11dacd88d3 the side mirror, 9bd7f66c1a felt like an e784e8e1df eternity.a4a5be3ed8bd1df3

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“I think I was the one who suggested holding hands.”0bfc1d6795f5ecaf

Fortunately, Lane’s response was more positive than Sean had hoped.716d89d7f6107077

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“Are you sure you’re not uncomfortable?”a83a1ddff200c526

Not only was it positive, but he even asked this question, so he really didn’t seem to mind. Sean did his best to infuse his response with sincerity, without making it too obvious.4039a7ca70594949

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“Not at all! In fact… I like it.”e06f3450caf4b013

Ah, that might b9501a4022 have been too 90954cece5 much. The response 96168c720a was so b14be85139 blatant that 5367b2e0b4 even he bfeb4f61f7 was scared, 3cbbf667cc worried that 367677cbd3 Lane might 1b6a6e8272 find it b211282ae1 strange and 7fa29e8668 uncomfortable.442b848e16a51e27

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Panicked, Sean quickly glanced sideways. Fortunately, Lane didn’t seem to feel any discomfort from his words. When their eyes met, Lane rubbed his slightly flushed cheek and opened the window.a8f9d3bcae4f601a

“It’s hot. I’ll open the window.”a195a9dbbcd5db84

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“Yeah, it feels like summer already, even though it’s only June.”f00fad5e900180fb

The car’s tablet screen showed 68°F. It was definitely warm. No wonder he felt heated. Agreeing with Lane, Sean finally thought of a place to go. The car, which had been aimlessly wandering, now had a destination.394693c277bd3bfd

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“Then let’s have lunch first and go to an art museum. I know a place you’ll like.”a7d71da7f4db4ece

Even though Lane wasn’t a complete vegan, he liked vegetarian food, and Sean knew just the place for him. Lane nodded quietly at Sean’s suggestion and added a few seconds later.4664669bcbd0bed9

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“Sounds fun.”e6eb6ff4d6a901f2

Hearing the genuine anticipation in Lane’s soft voice, Sean pressed his lips together to suppress a shy smile. As he drove to find a parking tower, a pleasant silence filled the space between them.d02e30ed602e2e52

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.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖.☘︎ ݁˖c60ff00bab8afa4d

An awkward 73a59a8ccd silence hung 5e4c816a13 between them. It was 4696e5b7dd about a 56115b7ea0 10-minute walk 340395dbef from the 42d0223381 parking tower c17754092a to the e41b3067bc vegan restaurant. After purchasing b798395183 the ticket 36004ab1f2 in advance, 50bc8f3816 an inexplicable 50c30c7664 tension lingered a8d54acfa5 as they 90be87e344 walked. Their hands brushed against 979d183c2d each other several times, f9eed5320c and each time Lane 9e2431beb5 flinched, making Sean feel b2059ce0d2 even more anxious.6ca98f2aa7c961e5

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Should I… hold his hand now?690a45a5dd9787c2

Sean was caught in a maddening dilemma. Timing was crucial when it came to holding hands. If he held Lane’s hand now, they’d naturally have to let go once they reached the restaurant, which might create an awkward atmosphere and ruin the meal. But if he waited until they were walking a longer distance, he might never find the right moment to let go…ed90cc2b44310d29

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“Sean, I think we passed the place you mentioned.”9e5a9da13e54c9dd

Lost in thoughts about when to hold hands, Sean realized they had walked a block too far when Lane stopped him. As a result, Lane naturally grabbed his wrist, drawing Sean’s gaze downward. When Sean looked at his wrist, Lane flinched and let go.c198286a20481b3e

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“Uh, yeah. Let’s go. The vegan menu is okay, right?”0a3f5f28cbef37fa

“I’m fine with anything.”ca8ff6d0d0423439

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Lane seemed relieved to 44ff47333c have a topic to c004ae1b67 discuss, glancing around before 1b0d8507e3 pointing to a place cbcccc9889 that looked good.310c1528e6134312

“Curry is fine too. They have a lot of vegetarian options there. Not that I don’t eat meat at all, so, um, anywhere is fine.”def8114ab5844adf

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Following Lane’s more scattered than usual speech, Sean felt tense. Even though he hadn’t been in a serious relationship, he’d been on countless dates, but his mind had never gone this blank.1e9da80824cfeab6

He had intended to lead Lane confidently and show off his manliness, but he felt like he had failed, and it made him want to cry. Although that wasn’t the original purpose of today, it wouldn’t hurt to make a good impression now that they were out.5c8292c8d3c01d3b

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No, there’s still a chance. Keep it together.5d15c6a8806132b1

Sean took 89d372ef79 a deep e045d13818 breath and 49a2713662 forced a d2dfd70d5c smile, unsure 0abfaee8c7 if it 2bf01e53f3 looked strange, 9170157e44 but showing 508c0d496d confidence was ae74e3c8bd important.92ff6b29ae6b7983

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“Curry isn’t the best choice. Maybe later.”a5b6060f1929935a

“…Why?”2a0cdc537aeb87de

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“Well, if you’re on a date, it might naturally lead to a kiss, and curry isn’t the best choice for making a good impression…”bb847b828897b798

Sean stopped himself, realizing he was just spouting nonsense. Wasn’t this more like a lecture than a date? And before that, it was too realistic a piece of advice, likely to kill the mood.468f7285d587399e

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His past 8ce6fb67de confidence in 99229e4499 setting the 8461cefda9 mood seemed 9b39832bc9 futile now. Sean looked at Lane d3622b26da with a sense of 2958393fb2 defeat. Surprisingly, instead 0fe501c824 of a 1838fd3641 look of d2222dd8c4 disdain, Lane 03e6dd21a3 asked seriously.2528a8236797f378

“…A kiss?”848278aef0ef87e7

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Of all daeec8f7d3 the words 574a8ba1bb to ask 6be4bfb479 about, it 1848ad07f6 had to 962a41143a be that ec2c747c41 one. Sean stammered 6f165796f0 in surprise.dbfde08e6e3d7586

“…Uh, yeah.”74a248b1016b42b4

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“Do people kiss on dates?”37d83c61a5101295

“If the mood is right… I guess.”7b2680da980305ef

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After exchanging a few words, Sean’s head felt hot and dizzy. It seemed like the weather was indeed warm. Feeling queasy as if he were seasick, Sean steadied his breath and met Lane’s gaze. For a moment, he imagined their gazes touching their lips. It was brief, but Sean felt the gaze linger on his lips before he burst into an awkward laugh and turned away.7f7e063c8454a352

“Let’s go eat.”e3f3bc169d690cda

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Sean awkwardly exclaimed, then gently tugged on Lane’s neatly tucked shirt at the waist. Grabbing his wrist felt like it would be too much to handle.d73b24bde3833736

Fortunately, Lane obediently followed 2a5afdbe0f him. He seemed unusually compliant, e26fdedc81 as if he were 5560803765 someone who always listened 9d76957a63 well. Even when they 9254d3ba2a entered the restaurant 892d3975bb and Sean requested 16fdeabfed a table, Lane 6094ed9594 quietly stayed behind 27db909acb him. Despite the place being 273b8ea497 almost full, he showed 69de8de0a8 no signs of discomfort.85d00ea201cc188c

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“Are you okay with the crowd?”2cca8af43f8c5e95

Just in case, Sean whispered close to Lane’s ear. Lane, who had been quietly observing the surroundings, flinched and turned his head sharply.1987a055083b7f0e

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In that moment, their 4673608c40 lips almost brushed.f11a6d3e9298faab

Seeing Lane’s wide blue eyes, Sean’s eyes widened too. His heart sank, and a chill ran down his spine. If they had been a little closer, their lips would have touched. The thought made his face flush with heat. He was sure Lane noticed his reddened state.534a8dc39a0dbabb

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“S-sorry. Sorry!”f64814e150a5db55

It wasn’t intentional, but it was a close call. No matter how much Sean was jealous of Dion and Lane’s relationship, he wasn’t the kind of guy who would pounce on someone who liked someone else. Having witnessed his parents’ marriage firsthand, he had never entertained multiple flings or anything resembling cheating, even when he wasn’t in a serious relationship.445091ea5555401e

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So no 76b5a79b4a matter how 3a8aea2aeb good the 5fb926d6fd mood was 5d74affb4a today, he 6f54c82b47 had to 788e5a9f84 remember this 6b5a4d94f9 was just 9ed122f9d2 practice. That was 621b6ae116 a close 31dcfa4e18 call.4fca3befaca0592e

“…No need to apologize.”007c6aa022c5fcde

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“You were surprised, right? Wow, that was close.”7a83ad749937091f

But Lane’s response seemed… off.fdeb64ca403ce239

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“Is it such a big deal if our lips touch?”ec05079ad7bf4b3f

“…Huh?”b9a12c33dd8497b0

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That wasn’t the reaction he expected. Even if they were pretending to be on a date, wasn’t that crossing a line? Not that he minded, but it was confusing.af9614232735b916

“Well, lips are… you know.”613583499eaa0962

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Confused about how far Lane intended to take this, Sean asked, and Lane frowned slightly, as if displeased. The usually cute guy suddenly seemed a bit off, and Sean couldn’t figure it out.41889c1886b888db

“Did I do something wrong?”fc9dbf9f340b6934

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The atmosphere had been quite good, but Lane’s mood suddenly soured. Unable to pinpoint the reason, Sean anxiously observed him.5a5f51465a2d4682

“Tell me, so I can be careful next time.”ca987d3d5176b016

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“…It’s fine. You’ve always been like that.”eecfc0075a4ccf4f

“What have I always been like?”37eabcb0c9095dae

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As Sean gently coaxed c2beefdd00 him, a waiter approached 371593ae19 to say their table dfbee5bb32 was ready. Perhaps because of 4105f54377 their striking appearances, 92cbcd1be7 the waiter was c81e48631e particularly friendly to a0c61ae1d3 Lane.46b396587c0751b8

While Sean had a more common handsome look, Lane had a unique aura that made him stand out. Coupled with a noble, elegant vibe, it seemed the waiter was trying to impress Lane. In New York, where celebrities were abundant, it wasn’t uncommon for regular customers to turn out to be someone significant. The waiter was perceptive, and Lane was indeed someone special.cdbd522191e2ab23

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Without explaining 94b5dbe55f why he f3dab51a1c was upset, c73f7bc2c6 Lane followed baf51e1b6b the waiter fd4aa15600 to their 768c696323 table. Sean hurried after 4a0f16411d him and sat b88bb61308 across from Lane, d49d9046b4 asking with a b787f3b657 sullen face.7fd3910c50c6777d

“Lane, if you tell me what I did wrong, I can make sure not to upset you next time. Can’t you tell me just once?”6f4810ae03646c60

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Even if he was a stand-in for Dion, Sean didn’t want to argue with Lane on such a nice day in Manhattan. Lane fiddled with the menu for a while before sighing and rubbing his face.7793809563dff369

“No, it’s my fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”8760a5dad8dffcb2

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“That’s not true. My mom always says there’s at least a little fault on both sides.”9ef92c9b059ebf76

Mentioning his lawyer mother 81bf1b72c0 made Lane lower the 67d21ef850 hand covering his face. Covering his f91de197d6 lips with f993f82e42 one hand, bafdbf3130 he spoke 3e7ec1ce9d softly.ec125b73f705c100

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“…You easily kiss and hang out with people you’re not even dating, so why is it such a big deal if we almost touched?”6d94fda0bb745943

Sean was at a loss for words. Lane’s question had a major contradiction.bbc345ae12688034

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