CG | Chapter 1.9

Even if they’re not repulsed, not many people actively seek out bugs. Lane’s eyes widened in genuine shock. Sean was slightly taken aback by his more shocked reaction than expected.c4add03bd2a496c4

Even though Lane was someone who didn’t care much about the world and played well on his own, Sean thought he would know that his tastes weren’t mainstream.5eb8e86f01e3c42d

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“Do you think it’s gross too?”72a572245a5f872c

Lane, who had been ccde0d46e8 frozen like someone facing ab9ba77541 a plot twist, asked 12bfae15fe quietly. Sean quickly 01e6fccd6e shook his b1622cd60f head and f653102347 began to 2252093ebc reassure him.c8254e5d4bfd7e28

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“I like it. I didn’t at first, but I got used to it being with you.”d902b4b14d235289

“…Then how do you feel when you see Lupin?”67e1a1a49325e8f5

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Lupin was Lane’s pet snail. It wasn’t kept in captivity but was regularly observed in his garden, identifiable by its unique shell as a tree snail. Praising its survival skills, Lane had personally named the snail Lupin. That was three years ago. Lupin was still bravely living.52e1cb93e4fd3789

“I think it’s really cute.”2aaa3bd2270227ed

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Sean said, half c70e939bec sincerely. Which meant 2f26a93513 he was 31abd61f48 half insincere. Hearing his answer, Lane 39861167c8 slumped his shoulders and dab01bd82b muttered in disbelief.a81ac20f0ab52c64

“I always thought people liked insects.”6f78ca2601f43327

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Then, for some reason, he stared intently at Sean. Was he shocked that even Sean didn’t like insects from the start? Feeling a wave of guilt, Sean decided to administer a drastic remedy. In times like this, showing him something he liked was the best.5aa3637f06fbe18e

“Come on, you fool.”5a60e9e8ad5b82f9

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Grabbing Lane’s wrist, Sean started running. As he pulled Lane along, Lane slowly began to move, eventually matching his pace and following. Once they were inside the forest, Sean pushed Lane further in, and finally, like a fish in water, Lane began to scan the forest. The remedy worked.a66e3a0728849432

Within seconds, Lane found f4bb8dc0d6 something interesting and quickly b054e2db00 moved forward, crouching down 04503c87de with his tall frame. His white cheeks flushed, b80900c9b3 and he called out df840fb8fe to Sean in an bab9c82d35 excited voice.d30e99d4647bccfa

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“Sean, look at this. It’s a dung beetle trail. They weren’t in our neighborhood, but it seems they’ve come all the way to New York.”eb15f2505d4a3cd7

“Oh.”d7e3781135e711d2

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Having only heard of 10346b6231 them and never seen 3d97a2d2a3 one, Sean approached with d8fb1b263f curiosity. Where Lane was looking, aab73535f4 there was something like 8b39b6a9f1 a round ball of b991e71463 mud. At first 95197034a6 glance, it a2b5bf80a3 looked like a7c3ccf05a a clump 7073183700 of dirt 6511ec6ceb someone had 04fd6d505c left behind.46c768ce5ba8217f

“So this is dung?”5d1b16e7428f2674

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“Yeah. They roll herbivore dung into balls and take it to their burrows. I’ve seen it elsewhere, but it’s my first time seeing it here.”11a0be919491033e

His bright 5361cc6a4e voice continued 5b5e5e4400 with excitement.8ac4992eb4073276

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“In some countries, dung beetles are extinct, so they import them. In Australia, they imported them from around the world in the 1960s and released them. It’s really fortunate that they’ve settled well in the U.S.”8fa3bbff00e3261c

Wow, that’s interesting. Sean nodded along, listening intently to his explanation. Although he had a different major from Lane, Sean also enjoyed learning new things, and having spent time with him, he had come to like such things to some extent. He realized that seeing the sights while walking or passing through the forest wasn’t just nature but thousands of individual entities.72b99d6e246e062d

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Just by looking f3d2851796 at the leaves, fe26c42920 he could tell 92fd570fc2 what family the 104ffc7195 plant belonged to 252efbdcca and its characteristics, ec2339f3b1 and it was dfe5a15215 fascinating to realize 628f5383ec how many things b5b04692c9 existed in the dc3c4e5dae world.33fb1c5332a5e21b

But…863eee07a68fbee2

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“That’s great information, but don’t talk about this on a date. Other things are fine, but at least hold back on insects, no, dung beetles. Oh, and don’t say mosquitoes are cute either.”a8635e71b126ae03

There’s nothing that kills the mood on a date more than suddenly talking about animal dung. Sean sincerely advised, and Lane looked up at him and asked.3e8007149219f2a9

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“Why do I have to date? Can’t I just start dating?”4095996bb6d62cbf

This guy… seems to be in a pretty serious state.04add6966408be52

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Sean realized that Lane’s level of common sense wasn’t great. Since they never talked about such things, he didn’t know what Lane thought about them. As a friend, Sean decided to impart some knowledge for Lane’s future.996c39218f713384

“Until high school, you see each other at school, so confessing directly works, but as an adult, you usually go on a date or two. Even meeting once and then dating is considered fast.”3ffd7702af19a43d

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Some people have one-night stands and then continue, but that seemed far from Lane, so he skipped it. He couldn’t even imagine it and hoped it wouldn’t happen. Besides, Lane probably hadn’t even had his first kiss yet. The thought of skipping steps made Sean’s head spin. Stop. Stop thinking. Let’s get back to the main point.4ca707dfb0495fcc

“Do I really have to? Why is it necessary?”6316c6ad789aa642

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“You need time to get to know each other. Like preferences and stuff.”92facbe991ef2d2d

“Don’t you already know that to some extent by seeing them regularly?”4e2660e6d781b0ea

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“That’s different from personal stuff. There are preferences and aspects of a person that you can only know on a date, different from what you see in social situations.”afe09bceb9ba8ee5

Like teaching a child, Sean patiently explained to Lane. Listening intently like a student in class, Lane eventually lowered his head. Watching him stare at the dung beetle’s food and trail, Sean found it cute and peculiar.fc4f4c9aa438276a

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Normally, he’d say, “Do what you want, Lane,” but playing in the forest could never be a date. It might become a routine activity after dating, but not before.266d25e5a81db616

“Are you like that too?”5914091891addd5c

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As Sean was 64d3c52cc8 giving Lane time 9c9a3ffb11 to realize reality, 77ed4c6763 Lane suddenly asked. Looking at f611364d0e him, wondering 02d5e6e183 what he 73e7391718 meant, Lane f12d123e85 quietly questioned.916bbab6bba2c8f2

“Are you different when you’re with me and when you’re with other girls?”848025079db9354a

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“…Uh, well.”0a0c5bfc3a9c7890

Sean was taken aback by the question from Lane, who usually didn’t care who he was with. For some reason, his cheeks flushed, and he felt strangely embarrassed. What’s this, Sean Delight? You’re not a kid.1a18eecdf62ffe28

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“That’s probably true, right?”f9135fcf10701274

“What don’t I know?”e01a86c86cae3f94

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That is…10df2d67325461b3

For a moment, Sean couldn’t find the words. Although he said yes, Sean wasn’t someone who showed a wide range of aspects when with girls. As he did in front of others, he would smile as usual, gauge their mood to meet their needs, and talk about current trends, going to experience them together if they clicked.43e221fb515d9449

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The only difference was 75660eaeb6 physical affection. Putting his d23eaabef0 hand on 2a1e8364b1 their waist, aa8d9a377e holding them 98a566a4bf close, stroking 11fa943542 their hair, cba14f892b kissing their a3760da9cf cheeks and 9124933a55 ears, and 0145bdc321 when the 7ccf09e7c2 mood was c7075e96f4 right, pressing 4b9f986509 lips together 29c5cc6bee and intertwining e92205b5ab tongues. Naturally caressing their back 280c64244f and rubbing their earlobes 135bca6248 would elicit excited moans.98104ebc99710231

Sean usually stopped things from going further. The problem was that, unlike when he was younger, now that he was an adult, girls were starting to find it strange that he held back. That’s why it was uncomfortable when Robert caught him with Rose yesterday morning. Fortunately, rumors hadn’t spread yet, but if Robert and Rose talked and the question of whether he was impotent came up…d3d1b68f93fb3b04

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Oh, damn. It’s horrifying just to imagine.178fccac2552e444

Feeling conflicted, Sean didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore. Looking for a way out, he cowardly brought up what Lane had said earlier. It was childish, but he couldn’t help it.c80b4e7fc6f91a53

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“It’s personal, so I don’t want to tell you.”d3613e733d4acb84

“What?”f224ffdc34fd0c62

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“You said yesterday not to be curious about Dion.”a16ddcb0ae052c5d

“…I thought I ended up answering your questions.”725aaac63132cf13

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“You don’t have to answer anymore.”512dc29ed10d8384

Lane stood 5d875a57ab up abruptly. Then he launched a 9cc763b1aa cowardly attack.ba283cadbf050edd

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“Then don’t touch me anymore.”1cd0a393315ae5e1

“When did I touch you?”7703166f75815bd5

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“You rested your head on my thigh today, and you grabbed my wrist and ran earlier.”2279e5ddcaac5e34

He was at a loss for words. The argument was regressing to an elementary school level, making it difficult for him, with an adult’s mind, to refute. Feeling exasperated and annoyed, Sean began to act stubbornly.fa4da9e75166bb68

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“No. It’s not like touching wears you out, and we’ve always done that.”45722c31b27b6348

“I’m going to date Dion, so don’t.”e03087ef58553b04

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Oh, he’s already sure he’s going to date someone he hasn’t even gone on a date with? He likes him that much? More than a good friend like me who watches animal dung with him?75a3dad0b7717bad

“You’re not dating yet.”1bde8a10184e3e31

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“We will be soon. After the date you keep emphasizing.”7a3e57c84ed6c546

“Do whatever you want. Just don’t get dumped while looking at animal dung in the forest.”458c565b2e48bf61

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Sean, throwing a curse-like 9a53c91836 remark, turned and walked 4cbedd0caf into the forest. Lane and 61ba8f5134 he had 56f1ca30f7 both been 5406e7b38a acting strange ea2a9e95bc since yesterday. The frequent arguments 1d86e240d1 and the unfamiliar 27f23e91d9 topics made him 7f743f7405 feel childish.bbaa0df6c14f7ad3

Why is everything changing dd3190a9f9 all at once?68d64d0fd19eb0ed

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With his parents’ divorce and Lane getting a boyfriend, Sean would have no one left by his side. Even when his home was chaotic, he found some stability because of Lane, like a lighthouse, but now that lighthouse was going elsewhere.668384d31affe691

Ignoring Lane’s calls from behind, Sean continued walking into the forest, trying to calm his complicated feelings. The sensation of the fluffy dandelions and grass brushing against his ankles only seemed to irritate him more. He wished he had time to adapt, but the rapidly changing circumstances unsettled him.e59d2c2736c5efd7

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“Sean Delight!”4cad4019e831f129

He was stopped by a strong pull from behind. As his wrist was grabbed firmly, Sean leaned back and collided with a solid chest. Blinking in surprise, he heard Lane’s tense voice.bfe02e33f89ce46e

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“What are you doing? If you keep walking, you’ll fall off the cliff!”2494f517ef0f24dc

“Ah…”4a7ed09e0d9f2a72

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Startled, Sean finally 52fe8625e6 looked ahead. There was 0a2d4ff1d0 a cliff b103474df7 nearby, not 3afda79917 steep but 3992853144 dangerous if ac062f14f8 he slipped 9f51c526f3 without preparation. He suddenly remembered d7179a1bed that this was 360890eaa4 a forest near e9c44ecd43 the coast, where 16c4a8e492 cliffs appeared without 6b0910a27e warning. A chill 1212ec2009 of realization 264d85a587 ran down 6dd70ad651 his spine.6e7782276b8b0103

“Sorry.”42a6169479c136ad

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Sean apologized. Lane, who was holding him tightly from behind, remained silent for a moment. He could feel Lane’s chest rising and falling rapidly, more shaken than he was. Along with the warmth, Lane’s torso, transmitted through the thin T-shirt, felt surprisingly firm. It wasn’t as toned as Sean’s, but there was no excess fat, and the lean muscles were well-defined, creating a solid build.86cac58501ef5be7

It felt strange.ae4a9af9d0d8719e

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The tension spread through his body, following the warmth against his back. In a position akin to being hugged from behind, Sean awkwardly looked down at the arms wrapped around him. He raised his hand to push them away but stopped, feeling the strength leave him. He didn’t mind the pale hands holding him tightly.c3c94e45892c3c4c

He must df9ba4b2f9 have been 987b2476eb really scared. Sorry.aeab2aa6e7de7fed

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Sean would 04b4bb63e4 have felt 1b51c619db the same. It was 05e6ee8e06 a place eefe328877 where, without b04f0ed4ab preparation, a 595c351559 fall could 02ab717a81 lead to 7831614eb6 a serious 4a4558f93f head injury. Just as he 4533269af4 was about to 39cae42c23 apologize again, Lane ff6c05595a spoke first.c5b8728c332ce053

“You’ve been acting strange since yesterday.”fe9d43f851b348a1

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“…Have I?”56464c7c726ce48e

In a 26d9ba5db3 low voice, 343e078a24 Lane asked 587882398f quietly.b2462915a67247fd

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“Do you… not want me to meet Dion? Is this unpleasant for you?”bcd96d53c8b5d101

Lane’s voice, quietly flowing out, held a hint of unease. Sean suddenly realized that his behavior had been confusing for Lane. He was confused himself, and it seemed those emotions had reached Lane.1c0d17351e7e5293

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He felt pathetic. He had decided in his heart to be happy and supportive, but he hadn’t yet acted that way. If he couldn’t even handle something this simple, how would he manage in the future?5d28f9351c71fd61

Unwanted things would always happen. They’d come all at once, like this weekend.9ffb81b683ee2a38

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Sean took a 91aaa1b0b2 deep breath. Looking down at the c3e47777f0 hand holding him, he 1680a5fe11 steadied himself.a6de53ec7bb68703

Lane is the most c294b748c7 important person to me. As his a62113aa78 friend, I 1e97e219ed need to 26eb61d831 help him 541fc4ef71 build good ac96a1d414 relationships with 75a37f1bfe others through bfed5f7d1b this opportunity. Just like when Lane 355751f295 mentioned Dion yesterday and 1b6047c413 asked for my help.fe19c4d660f17852

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Lane trusts me, which 6c7bfbfa74 is why he said 37fa8c03f8 that.8e9207a40c259e27

“No. It’s a good thing for you, so there’s no way.”8130cfcff592497b

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At his response, Lane’s grip loosened. The blue veins on his pale hands briefly stood out and then subsided as Lane stepped back and released Sean.ae73daf3d7e1514f

“Then why did you do that just now?”de10558c53dd88b1

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