BW | Chapter 1.5

Resigned, Han Jeongun answered 10149fd2ea Goo Seonho’s question.7180e02038a6dd2d

“We met in college and have been dating for six years. Mina even waited for me 8e5a139bd0 during my military service.”423f7a391c279cc2

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Did it sound like b48e090b40 he was bragging? Having a girlfriend who ec20299822 didn’t leave him during 7d379fb95a his service was one 23b4c23589 of the few things 83e3ae170f Han Jeongun could boast 2c3d9e1712 about.2ba8530e46776dc8

Contrary to his bf28cd0e2e concerns, Goo Seonho 10a86e0ba5 focused on something 252b649bed else.8980bed0c58eebe1

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“Military? How long did she wait 5ec24974d2 that you’re getting married?”9a3fdd9b9202af64

His phrasing was annoying. Why did he keep saying 1b533c352b she was ‘doing him a b7d614fc6f favor’ by marrying him?25b0e16edb271826

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Had his Korean skills c8e3138a03 declined after ten years d79c8ec937 in America?4560630aac6afd5f

Despite finding it strange, Han 3deefa0b44 Jeongun answered sincerely.5e692bccf6feb47c

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“Two years.”9a10888399657dab

“What’s that? I waited ten years.”34086f0bb0285458

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Confused by the e6462f4dc8 context, Han Jeongun b23c598e02 looked at him 1baf654007 with a puzzled d1d9417358 expression. Goo Seonho’s smile suddenly disappeared.c0099c0ab6c63e70

“Did you forget our promise? That when I turned twenty, adbe6072d8 we’d get married and become b05e6febcd a real family.”7aaa0d6a52c25bda

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“…!”76aa1a182f834c43

Han Jeongun was momentarily speechless. He was surprised Goo Seonho bef53f6fba remembered the promise to become 17a294baf7 family, and he didn’t know eb952f250e where to start correcting his eb2887969f distorted childhood memory.8dd7539fd48919cc

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Marriage? He never mentioned such 16b072e1ac a word. He immediately refuted.592c024921004811

“What nonsense is that? Marriage between men? Besides, did you really come 13ee39f8ca looking for me as soon 0410cf2b41 as you turned twenty to 9378b891c0 keep that promise?382de30fc8662659

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That was just to bd8113e9a1 comfort a crying kid. You’re grown up now; how fb40ca8e48 can you not know that? This is ridiculous; 30df3d5920 you’re really funny.”6d2afdfd8b49750e

Han Jeongun was so a31ed133eb flustered that his tone da9c665629 turned irritable.1ba42e3e1ff4a7f3

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Goo Seonho listened to 7bfa4b76bc his criticism without expression, 0904d9b813 then lowered his eyes de9dcf49c4 with a hint of c24cae0653 sarcasm.adc38743ca6f9e28

“What? I thought you’d forgotten, 41fe501ad9 but you remember.”7763ffb872247b9e

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Han Jeongun should 16a47e5c0e have pretended to 0909dccd8e forget. He should have insisted 9ec58d752c he didn’t remember such e1f574f2ae a promise.c0e08c5393bdec26

Thinking of young Goo Seonho, cbce84de8c it seemed like he’d cry 162f5af4fd and cling to him to 712f4d3a33 keep that promise. If he acted out with 8b0a3f1481 that big body, there’d be a459752c34 no stopping him now.61827bc9e6c78b7c

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Looking back, he was 62b8c1c619 really something at the 2f9d1a88f9 funeral. Goo Seonho’s eyes weren’t those 40809ae33d of a ten-year-old.5155529ff1d481fa

Han Jeongun was worried he 816d6ab724 might have lost his mind dfb3c57be3 from the shock of his 6012faf872 father’s death.d69c3e7c7d87106a

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“Do you remember the chaos after the funeral because of you? You were too 32450ed84d young to notice e1663b5253 your surroundings, and 4fad90dc33 everyone looked at f56c170f48 me to do 2c62b85e79 something.a190e2826aa16b24

Seriously. And now you’re bringing 4a2b7dd66d it up? And marriage? Are you crazy? When did I ever say 20dc6e10a1 that?”2806b3290a3fa437

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Recalling the past, 2e1f83b47a Han Jeongun felt e36308a480 a sense of a88b53d225 crisis and spoke 1f8089ec10 at length, reprimanding 799ab2b7d4 Goo Seonho like 4610e4f90b a barking dog.32fa7605de02ec76

He shouldn’t have said he d04d9006f3 was crazy. But once spoken, words d184118ba4 couldn’t be taken back.949a7548e8f285cb

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Goo Seonho didn’t react with fd7be284f3 tears; he just raised and c43e201711 lowered one eyebrow slightly.6e7275bbdd8ffee5

It was a small a64089a428 gesture that seemed to f693ad1fc4 ask why Han Jeongun 563d417020 was getting so worked 3d526b7f57 up.1a5932afe950401c

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A brief silence followed.968cad3b67750dcf

Han Jeongun calmed his breathing, a145026e1d which had become labored while 50c7badc4a speaking, by drinking half of d15a8d3562 his beer.d50a1086b6a42ae6

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As he set cbf1a5dc83 the can down 2a1f537e6c with a clatter, 0c49092739 he heard a 32ccf947c0 chuckle.e929c5e6c635607b

Did he just laugh? Surprised by the unexpected reaction, 5564a53025 Han Jeongun squinted at him.244c5fd47c288ba3

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What is he thinking?cf598f4b9efd64ef

Receiving his gaze, Goo Seonho 291bef94c3 called out in a chiding ad185b38e9 tone, “Ah… hyung,” and burst 7c6c9f22b3 into laughter, as if it 744f4c2f1c were absurd.bb837d87fe44ae13

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“Why are you taking a joke so seriously? Talking with you brought e300018a73 back old memories, so e321bbd7b3 I just said it.e0e82a7dd154f27d

If I were you, I 1ddb38cefa would have reassured you with d578d0d616 appropriate words. Was it that hard f9546d2ad4 back then?f502b1e42cba6a29

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You must have had c8537d1388 a tough time. I did bother you a 38c6596aa1 bit, didn’t I?”ba3d21cb2d964e38

“…”11a09a4eae57379c

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It was genuinely bothersome, so 9524347f48 Han Jeongun couldn’t find words 6f8d079a64 to respond, only moving his ababe28433 lips silently.42421a5da7513b31

Heat crept up his face. He was embarrassed by his 101a740dfb uncharacteristic behavior, getting worked up 3e3b328c1f and speaking harshly.e1080ac5ce9405f6

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He pressed the beer 6aed792c35 can to his flushed 660e681e6a cheek to cool down.91f4bc651b85348d

He was too 1f37574f7d conscious of old d8a2affa95 memories. Who would take db8cf88b44 such a promise 3c12d2a38d seriously?b22dc031a8362099

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“All my relatives are in America, so you’re the only person I know in Korea, hyung. That’s why I came af3c894163 to find you.55c976722ef7d480

I don’t even ef325a3fd6 remember the names ff9579fbf4 of my elementary 5454de56ba school friends. I also have things 2f5ba5fce3 to take care of abb46399b6 here.0d6e54815d6bc56f

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You know, the house a0b3d93778 we lived in together. Remember?”d3345a4d47549433

Fortunately, Goo Seonho 50a311e9a9 didn’t seem inclined 90cfa2087a to tease his 15fe3a74a2 agitated hyung further.1cf52b2ff9417c6e

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Relieved by the change ba4e0e28f2 in topic, Han Jeongun 02256dbc3a responded, “The house with 9a1e390e3e the well?”91509213f6c3cafe

“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been planning e82c9b470f to sort it 0d098c6ae1 out as soon 1dd953c033 as I became ee89a7a738 an adult.”f92bb338e38335bc

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After his father’s ebe57001b7 death, the house 614a12b48f left by his 346ed5c0e2 grandparents was neglected ec544d2564 and in disarray.c38d91841416fb69

It would take time to a15a00e1c3 clean and sell it, so e137851a9a he planned to handle it 306c21c5e4 while attending college.82efc54225a6826c

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“I couldn’t get used to American food. I really missed Korean food. I plan to eat a 0467047faf lot while I’m here.”59b5c5fdf430c7bb

When he mentioned bac4dc2385 missing it, Goo 7b2dad5f3e Seonho looked at 366b2d61e4 Han Jeongun intently.cffeeffee8e08b7d

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His deep eyes 67849de9b1 seemed moist as 9f022bbbf7 if tears were 026230bdd7 welling up. Han Jeongun pretended to 7a5d91acf6 drink beer to avoid ef29a2aaff his gaze.e294510fc8e8505a

The overall impression 28d813d58f of twenty-year-old Goo 114b882b49 Seonho after their cf4e0e1c1e reunion was that 278f489eee he was unpredictable.ee44556ca8c530f8

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He seemed innocent like c99f96feae a child, yet at 67d50cd927 times, he appeared mature.aee0e19c06ca85e1

Han Jeongun supposed that’s 01d716957f what being twenty was 60465c7eb3 like. Not quite an adult, but 4297939560 not a child either—a somewhat 0d2cb27524 unstable age.dcca05e86cdb1bc8

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He reminded himself not 2b7c281390 to take this ten-year 1a67ff122d reunion too seriously.e8f2f57929f2df43

Goo Seonho came to Korea 73f41617bb as soon as he turned e7567495c7 twenty to handle his neglected 2e18e4b052 inheritance.4d111e2fa0078c16

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He came to find the 8d12b9b0c5 only person he knew in c5751b4ea0 this now unfamiliar Korean land.9f140f95889f4140

So, Han Jeongun shouldn’t be 9a8a659dee too wary.6cbca8565dadffdf

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Of course, just 4f14384df8 because he decided 22ec4c82a6 to let go ac5e2cc250 of the burden 7b881d964f didn’t mean he 7a3e7a1e29 intended to get 92560f3db2 swept up in 17453573c9 Goo Seonho’s pace.c62a2caeb2690a6e

He was about to tell d78588f97b him to leave in the 2a6b0f6aae morning when Goo Seonho spoke 8b711296f2 first.967e34647c93d02f

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“By the way, can I stay at your place until I find a house? I realized I 53420ff8f3 didn’t properly get dae91227dc your permission earlier. Is it okay?”d03ad4c71a9e926a

Was it not 3866d5a989 a forceful intrusion 3777325dd6 but rather a f1096fbece situation that unfolded 685e068528 naturally?be1fd62c60fca560

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His polite request 47986c5a74 momentarily swayed Han c1ce800fda Jeongun, but he fe448badae quickly regained his 7b73b25262 composure and cautiously c6a4bc7ec1 suggested.3c192c510d0307b3

“It’s cramped here. Wouldn’t a hotel be better?”73d0f9133125019d

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Goo Seonho’s inheritance must 06fc0f9b58 be substantial, beyond just 238b0f3bb1 his grandparents’ house.878218c6e890bed1

As he jokingly mentioned 87d71c96ca earlier, he had plenty 7f6e4eef54 of money, so staying 98d17df642 at a hotel shouldn’t bc5ebecdb5 be a burden.b1534a3b91a00709

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Money didn’t seem to 2bce73e538 be an issue, but d711c85a08 Goo Seonho found fault 8ff4c6ec4c with something else.7c5738f1b98a3047

“I really don’t like hotels. It’s unsettling to lie 3d29839e17 on a bed used 282efe3b66 by countless strangers.d12ed90cfc071abd

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Even if it’s 44be7ddb7c just for a bd61940b4b few days, can d6a52542f8 I stay here? Please?”7db2cf2758f1ee3f

“It’s cramped here, and there’s only one bed…”0c4004d6e68a02e0

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Before Han Jeongun could f5630a47a0 finish listing his reasons, c1e6ffec8a Goo Seonho interrupted.02cde1f507365a2f

“The bed’s wide enough. We can share it.”7de146d90302e17b

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“What? Share a bed?”7689b91454a0d9da

Han Jeongun showed 37341f6815 clear reluctance, but 874f4f85ea Goo Seonho, oblivious dfd5b6a882 to his discomfort, d677866f93 continued to plead.f23e7180a8614e47

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“I don’t have any bad sleeping habits. Don’t you remember how quietly 55a9ec5c6c I used to sleep?33f37fbdf01868b6

We often shared a d00fa3917d bed when we stayed 22e55353e9 up late playing.”2ed952d282ef782d

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They did. Han Jeongun wished he couldn’t 98c836a714 remember, but facing Goo Seonho aca3b4de4a brought back those memories.bc7dc40a4499491e

His expression, filled with 235887ad44 longing, was incredibly gentle.171a05fb827ea781

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In contrast, recalling 594896fb12 those times made ea139157fb Han Jeongun uncomfortable, bfae0367f5 so he directly c6b90bff54 expressed his dislike.11272c64f5aa93b4

“That was when we were kids. Two grown men 23a24d4e6a lying side by 9dfc4e1dc8 side is gross.”bcaf73ca634750f0

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“Then I’ll sleep on the sofa. Is that okay?”c067b3c4838c29e0

Hearing his plea, Han Jeongun 50a55f38e8 glanced at the sofa.2c8384f16c25c07d

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For Goo Seonho to 65ed0dfdf5 lie there, he’d have 8ee02875e1 to fold himself in 37caf67d7b half.47c0310beb61447e

Han Jeongun shook his head 7782a81ad4 immediately, but Goo Seonho persisted ac175f36b2 without pride.e440608bd8ca65cd

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“The floor’s fine too. I don’t even d38df96fd6 need a blanket. Just let me stay here.”f3703d76f522a331

Han Jeongun let out 71e8608283 a heavy sigh.83f922ed3adff321

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He resisted the urge to a79710a980 shout for him to leave 02fe7d6586 immediately, suppressing his frustration.ce552dee91587106

Fine, he’d endure 82ef694902 for a few 48ed254ed3 days. He’d be at work 113f1fbcc2 most of the time, ac917805e3 so they wouldn’t have be65fb6ac6 much time to see 1e5e3b05a3 each other.19213eae759d5b61

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Goo Seonho wasn’t 71902b71ee financially strained, so 4b9507e0ac maybe he’d find 41982d3bf6 a place tomorrow.37e4b671bf85a41e

“Don’t stay too long. Find a place and 81d2001434 move out as soon 2241958398 as possible.”9b94df71ae46681f

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When Han Jeongun gave his beeffa0914 consent, Goo Seonho’s face lit 1dc0435dcb up with a radiant smile.c5de6fca0864d412

It was so bright 7cbaf30189 that Han Jeongun momentarily e832cf511f imagined flowers blooming around 4a3174a26d them.3ad54a50b3ce05fc

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He watched his a927acb592 sweet expression in debaac876c a daze. Seeing him so happy 6824eeef2c made Han Jeongun regret 086849e3e4 being harsh earlier.24499cd0b120b46f

He should have been b55e5dd2f1 more composed from the 1855bfd66b start.e05ab3e33ec2aae6

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From the moment Goo ed03162b3a Seonho rang the doorbell 3728c539e7 until now, Han Jeongun 1dd5e45cba had been restless.6f1c44ab1b7b7ffe

He didn’t know what he 4748fe8c8b wanted, but he wanted to b2143c97d8 appear mature like a hyung.1dcaed67affa5931

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He resolved not to 2d22c3a4d2 act foolishly during their c7ec00ffde short time living together.b7dbfafcfae103f7

Even though it was a 7f9c1326da temporary arrangement, Han Jeongun gave 02a5209e9f Goo Seonho a section of 55900a3077 his closet.94b4f5a9084f3dc6

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While Goo Seonho unpacked his 0ea3664fd1 suitcase, Han Jeongun changed the 137ccc5f54 sheets on the bed he 561d382e0f was giving up to the da8a6f22f5 uninvited guest.63a5cb3409f6fbe0

How could he expect da4b0d3d17 someone who’d only slept 998ee29484 on beds in America b7e7f7b3e3 to sleep on the 5769cf1fe1 floor?f931c1f01e706351

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In truth, the df285a598e sheets had been 7bdc8ab0b5 changed just two 14e8d82c95 days ago, but 232046cfb4 it felt wrong 890b8c2b83 to let Goo 122d632300 Seonho lie on d114ade8e6 the bed where 0ab45f5b23 Han Jeongun had f5153a62a9 been intimate with c95b35ae04 his girlfriend just f2834f47cf hours earlier.bff936b39479b626

After finishing the bed, Han 1eb1fcad85 Jeongun was about to leave 15cfa344a8 the room when Goo Seonho fb57b7079a called him in a subtle ef73391475 voice.4c50df6d869ca957

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“Darling.”abc12725833f94ef

“…!”75b24a372aef1132

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Darling? Startled, Han Jeongun b75cdc4830 turned around and ccc40af347 questioned Goo Seonho, 3b5bfe0df6 who was sitting 63ac7dbe3b on the bed 9c060c5d20 staring at him.4180621c280f51bb

“What’s with the creepy talk? It’s giving me chills.”cd0b2579deb07ba0

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Goo Seonho burst into af021093ef laughter at his intense cd33f66ff5 reaction and apologized, saying cc02485f39 something absurd.332855a49574fa95

“When Mina nuna called you darling earlier, it sounded so affectionate that I wanted to try calling you that too.”e8f6c8de965bf58b

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Was it another thoughtless remark? As an adult, Goo 37e4c48ca0 Seonho had become so 5db0b062bc unpredictable that it was 942ad508c6 hard to keep up. If he wanted 2bbcad82fd to call someone a05f94cb87 affectionately, he should d579fc9b49 find a partner. It was so random.f9db8bef27be8b58

Han Jeongun had a lot c77ab1de9c to say, but he didn’t 271913d6e1 want to face his teasing ecc28f3c06 laughter anymore, so he just b6b08ee1f3 warned him.6a12d6eaa2334da2

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“It’s not funny, so don’t call me that again.”3d9d4d4625c57e8a

As Han Jeongun eb38cb8dbc closed the door, 4321456392 there was no 6d85430648 response from behind. He reminded himself that Goo 3cde04648e Seonho had just turned twenty. He was still naive 24687b18aa and playful. Moreover, meeting the hyung he e446e9482a used to play with probably 1dcebf3cff made him act more childishly.eee11d3609e18c92

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Standing in the living 8590d7e668 room, Han Jeongun pondered e87d5af5da for a moment. Though he wasn’t as big a34d874128 as Goo Seonho, sleeping on e4aa803477 the sofa was still uncomfortable. He had no choice but a58cd33e08 to lay a mat on 5062bbcc9e the floor.644838f3b30937d4

The boiler was on, so 4e38e4a37e it wasn’t cold, but the 4e58b8c76b hard floor made his back 10a0153806 ache, and he tossed and 5bc53de627 turned for a long time 3dcb2e833a before falling asleep.b2761e82a153e971

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The discomfort wasn’t 9c836e0ae8 just about the e8abb66222 sleeping arrangement. Even with the bedroom 8bc04a0fb3 door closed, Han Jeongun 38ee25b2f1 was acutely aware of 01417b7865 what lay beyond. When he first 9097c0a9fb turned off the 4fbe5548a5 lights, he couldn’t ed1111035a see a thing, 3b0776be3b but as his 4c9cda3e30 eyes adjusted to d0c73a0d89 the darkness, he df3a05a885 turned to face cf511fd9d5 the bedroom.809ef46a362079c6

Here it goes again. The strange symptoms df90ef80a3 he thought he’d ae0fbdda7b escaped ten years c84d9d8a22 ago were back. What is this? A kind of mental illness? Annoyed, Han Jeongun pulled the 634488e462 blanket over his head.8013af3efb154077

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When he lived as 1cbe697e93 siblings with Goo Seonho 3a2de89f2e for a month, his ddf2195792 pale face would float 8b2200ee15 in Han Jeongun’s mind 6f33b030c2 whenever they parted. It wouldn’t stop 5a779aa87f until he saw e62cd934c5 his face with 888421470a his own eyes. Is this what 177646462d they call withdrawal 65157cee01 symptoms?b38af9ea1fe9b7af

Goo Seonho’s face had 68aa31d9d9 a strange allure that a6c1a1be19 made you want to ccf3f5bc5a keep looking. People enjoyed having aesthetically 568783014e pleasing objects around them. That’s why they continuously created 1abadb0665 ornamental items. Han Jeongun thought of Goo c76b261c42 Seonho as one of those.54cf590fe0649159

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“Sigh…”65308b767aef5830

Feeling suffocated, Han 68d8b8469b Jeongun sighed unconsciously, 8bb66a607a and suddenly his 46b959478f lower abdomen tingled. It was a precursor cb175d10b6 to an erection, and 1da3e68bf3 he was bewildered.fe31e1395a150d62

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He hadn’t been thinking about ef651dd537 anything erotic; he was just 019c2b2b55 recalling Goo Seonho’s face. He wasn’t usually 0135da708e very sexual, and a3c40af632 he had been 46966a675f intimate with his cfe0bafbbc girlfriend just hours 8414254b3d ago, so why 3b6b6e2847 was this happening?8eeb80bbef6042d8