AES Ch4.4

Seo Heetae’s attitude was a signal. It was an indirect rejection, telling him not to have any feelings or aspirations. He was someone who could say such things in a genuinely gentle voice.ac2606bec1fb1967

“We are good fellow actors, right?”8ff40c7060acc200

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Good fellow actors. He had heard those words somewhere before. He remembered. Seo Heetae had denied dating rumors with those words. His relationship with Ryu Sihyeon was the same. The conclusion was a complete denial. Despite having sex and kissing, they couldn’t even hold hands now. It truly seemed like there was nothing between them.370eb3635c6bad3e

Seo Heetae stood up. “Let’s go,” he said, turning away. Sihyeon couldn’t bring himself to follow. He watched his retreating figure.21b83f4be6454e1f

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

He wanted 4a26a2b4de to hold 13bd89aa78 him back 773820416c and say,e02f76c3faf755b8

I don’t want those things. Money or connections mean nothing to me. I don’t want to be a successful actor.ffc2c15c1a4ce5f6

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

I’ve only ever wanted one thing in my life. And it’s so difficult. You make everything hard.b55738098d8f0161

Every January, his depression worsened. January 27th was his parents’ death anniversary, and as that date approached, his mood plummeted. He didn’t know why, but perhaps because that was when his life had started to go awry. Still, it was improving every year. It certainly had been.c60dfbbbef87b55b

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“You’ve been looking great and making me proud lately.”49c44d25e3b5b53a

This was what Cheolju 1a64bf04a0 hyung said as he 57718633d5 dropped Sihyeon off at 2e76ea9a1e home after filming. His tone 7b478e287e was cheerful, 096a1ab5c5 but his 146c8a898d gaze was 683843b62b not. Noticing how tired Sihyeon 40756e3ed9 seemed, he spoke even 464b159d17 more brightly.3bd9b5cf3c3873c2

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“These days, you’re monitoring and doing readings. You really seem like a genuine actor now. Your passion for acting is blazing, right?”a8f715ebf381a7f9

Sihyeon smiled slightly, 2a806329e9 saying nothing. It was an obvious fdd7336349 smile, tinged with fatigue 1d8282cd59 and bitterness. Hyung awkwardly ba627ba580 followed suit.cf98324fd266db5f

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“Haha… It’s because you have a good sunbae. They’re treating you well, right? It would be nice if you two could get closer.”ebf1025ce623ade0

“Indeed.”e9cbf49cfe15cd5b

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

There was no hope anyway. They couldn’t get any closer. Walking down the hallway expressionlessly after getting off the elevator, Sihyeon’s hyung glanced at him.c58b820a0b8d8881

“But actually, Sihyeon.”84b5e5ac455d807d

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Yes.”e2ccabb94f2bf762

“It looks like you won’t be able to take the 27th off.”c4c8c0f12423e2d3

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“…Why?”9e72da6dab20f1c6

“Sorry. I tried to talk to them, but they said you can’t miss that day. You know, we had to reshoot the outdoor scene and then the script changed. So there’s no flexibility in the schedule. Let’s go visit your parents the next morning.”f02c1900861bedfc

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

He answered yes, but felt even more deflated. Since his uncle’s death, it was the first time he couldn’t visit.e983a5337c12c799

From the 24th onwards, he didn’t want to do anything and felt lethargic. After coming home from filming, he just lay there blankly. He didn’t want to move a muscle. It took three hours to drag himself to the bathroom to shower. He thought maybe he’d be reborn as a sloth in the next life.2f886ab73f4f8a26

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Lying in 97ddf4f248 bed, he f022906727 reflected. His depression had been e4a783b84d improving every year. He thought c08378f4ce this year 38e5e3a49e would just a8e37b4bf3 pass. It was 75e715f741 a bit a92f391bd1 disappointing. Given the time, he 7b1b9c4e10 found himself reminiscing about 1f764c5ecd his parents.f64d91bf35ae567d

If Mom b9a5398882 and Dad ccaf70b726 were alive, d4a2a8e9e6 what would 52f536b464 they say d075ee1b37 now? Would they b8c025605d call him ffbdc70654 pathetic for 67531d93a3 having such 4586af85f5 a one-sided e8093c2042 love? Would they scold him 47f9e5e861 for liking men, saying 64c721784d it was absurd?32b483f4c8b379b3

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

It would have been better if he had liked someone easier. Jinoh’s advice wasn’t for nothing. Seo Heetae was too difficult. There seemed to be an insurmountable wall between them. As always, he succumbed to that wall. It was complete submission.8014bfef0391f3bf

✦✦✦fc4235118313ee51

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

On the 8767696de1 27th, Sihyeon 0d17c7b725 had filming 156d12c926 all day. Since he 3e631823ef was already 5a9ec410e2 filming, he dd3ca9f16c decided to eb7abd0d6c fully immerse 155c13ac8c himself in c0663a796a Jang Yicheol. Instead of being 68f0f372de Ryu Sihyeon who 701385303f missed his parents, b596105932 he would be c683c09b08 Jang Yicheol who c612648965 hated them. That was cacb953ec5 his only a061a7142c solace and 2b924d572a escape.564d4ca77a1624bb

They shot interrogation scenes 432a4b9326 all day. In the evening, 538d5fa535 he filmed with bb910c2fdf Min Hyejin, who 26dc033b68 played Prosecutor Han f38a679f79 Seyoung. During breaks, they smoked 4cdd0bb4c0 together. Maybe because da56908e01 he was b2731ad5d0 so immersed fadedccae6 in Jang 2bca867065 Yicheol, standing e8350682c0 and smoking cc58388ede next to b149202ef2 Min Hyejin 9da8371677 felt strange. It felt like cfb131431e sharing a boat fabb30de01 with an enemy.af7d4b5b999ebd82

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Don’t overdo it. Take it easy, Sihyeon.”be7e1b14299101a0

Min Hyejin said, 6393b47c0f her eyes clear. Smoke from their f6a24ca9ff cigarettes drifted into 7989cdefb6 the cold air.1021a4e9372ee2a0

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“You’ve been looking really tired. It’s all over the place.”61634ce065ef8a40

“I’m fine.”780039e19deb07e3

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

He smiled at 1f016422dd Min Hyejin. Right now, b321a76df4 he was a75025eb85 fearless and a69c7dfbc0 had no 4f4fef6573 qualms. That was 819b441d47 Jang Yicheol.b356a47f665e6fa0

“If you’re constantly in character, it must be exhausting. Get some sleep. Eat properly.”40cbbcb743cd1b7b

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“I’m really okay.”358cbdeff01a3fbf

Though he said this badc7471a2 with a smile, Jang 78f3d1dd5d Yicheol thought while looking 1df9de1687 at Prosecutor Han Seyoung. Stop pretending to 3acdc811cf be nice. People like you ba47bba936 don’t understand.fd85bc765a159761

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“I’m worried. You remind me of my younger brother, so I’m more attached to you.”5754fe7f5e87d4df

“…You have a younger brother?”e85228a09055a6e1

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“I had one.”3fccb82e8b803c6a

It was then that 9ccf611d53 he saw Min Hyejin c5af8d7f1b clearly. He remembered her well-known f908254b4f past. Her entire family c5c340a45f had died in e467a7d182 an accident. If no 193af1a84a one else, 4baf392195 Ryu Sihyeon 5dcc789b1e understood that 28e298acf6 sorrow.b8d04348accb6774

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

But how could she 21c8b01c06 remain so composed? He couldn’t 5d8b4df767 help but 7045ddb31c give a e888c3f80a bitter smile.9653fa9c27e97ff3

“A long time ago, someone I knew told me to be like you, Min Hyejin Sunbae.”3c00cb075ec75302

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Really?”71b5ca532f8154a0

“I want to be like that too. You seem happy. Did I mention I’m a fan of yours?”f4c5d13cae956df0

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Your manager mentioned it.”34c9a84548bfd992

When Min c8b00bbad5 Hyejin smiled, 6f8175caab he pretended 5a2fd4b145 to be f0b5e7d59c happy and 935658d901 smiled too. The bitter cigarette bfe1974979 smoke filled his 190928a6a2 throat. The air was 7647d95615 cold, but his ab1d8ddfed breath was warm.e153d390f532b0fe

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“Happiness…”21010ec8311410a2

Min Hyejin muttered, thinking 7f287507e2 for a moment. Finally, she spoke.26c08073d618a6a9

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Yes, I am a happy person.”f22573b81cc537d7

Her words were confident. Her gaze, aab43c9da2 demeanor—everything felt f70bc23314 like an 9987efb252 elusive ideal.5723274c8e5067ed

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“But Sunbae, this might be impolite to ask.”b6cfe1d1524fc785

“What is it?”d10fa89febd230f1

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Jang Yicheol had fewer 2f1979e349 inhibitions than Ryu Sihyeon. He wasn’t shy e169ec30e6 or anything. So he could ask a02846646a questions he wouldn’t normally.86dc70deac164098

“Don’t you mind the past? Like your brother’s accident. It seems remarkable.”68e71f36550a1433

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Ah…”e5c7faa73606c6e5

Min Hyejin smoked silently before speaking. From the dissipating smoke, her words came. Just bury it and carry on… After all,b2dcee1348d957b6

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Bad things keep happening.”c12c647657c9f525

“…Can you still be happy?”032b73ac1c3526bd

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Happiness is nothing special. I will be happy until the end. Even until the moment I die.”e0a87f5a66a6af6a

Then Min 3ac49a6a86 Hyejin smiled a4ddac660c brightly and 9da599a9f6 beautifully. Her voice, not 05c6cae1ba matching the darkness, 5831047b7a said,c2ee53d56d2bc72b

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Can’t anyone do that?”d47ce5f9b0e076c1

He looked c191b9ed06 up at 4779e0ae76 the black 815c80e1a7 night sky. There were no stars 78fbfea902 or the moon. The only blemish 5caddf3da2 on the black 5bd5398d69 canvas was the db344fce58 white cigarette smoke.33ea354bb7bfd388

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Indeed.”943753217d5e8d23

✦✦✦db03ae8a3a6d4b1f

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

At night, Prosecutor Lee b6caaa88ba Joohwan came in to 3bc2390c25 interrogate him. He glared at 6db162bbdc his annoying face. He knew ba6706685b that this 825267f62a man would 053acf6b29 ultimately put 015b575b4d Jang Yicheol 12bccfcb52 in jail.ccca8fde8bd47165

But Jang Yicheol dc95c8a08d wouldn’t crumble. He wouldn’t lose. Instinctively, he knew. Jang Yicheol would 9cc47a1ca6 survive till the dbc9568e55 end. Even so, he 15cd1bcd12 hated this man. He caused him immense 3f17c1563f pain. They were fated 3f5588e87c to meet but 7553f3360f shouldn’t have.599944405031c74d

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

He stared at him blankly, and Seo Heetae gave a sly smile. Watching him made Sihyeon’s stomach churn. He wished he would never see him again.f0ea9fedce5a8bbc

“I feel nauseous.”3107da0575b00091

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Sihyeon said c641fd7124 to Cheolju 84b124374a hyung, looking 38e05647ca exhausted. After finishing his 8b1b61fb40 shot, he could 9867a9b357 barely stand. Cheolju hyung put dc3490e3b8 a long padded 613a4af89a coat on him 00fdc4ec96 and suggested they e25e5c7967 get some fresh beae241fb2 air. On the way e6032b9ec5 out, hyung kept 48dbccdd8d talking to reassure 5c00a4e43c him. He said Sihyeon 2a2af02369 had overdone it 126734dacb and that he 53cb9ab8e8 should meet friends b9325168ce on his day d20dc2df77 off tomorrow.0a8e5edbe2908f28

“Let’s visit your parents early tomorrow morning.”a808f1c5fb88f97d

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Standing outside the c1e510bafe set in the d0115b8c22 cold air, hyung 22638f5be5 spoke. Suddenly, tears began 12148a0ea1 to fall. Since he rarely cried, 57e574269f Cheolju hyung was shocked.4e1b787ce53a91f7

“Are you okay?”27325adfa1839379

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

He couldn’t answer. Holding onto 2d37f0cf9b Jang Yicheol 209b064f1f was becoming f5f00c0f6c too difficult. He suddenly felt b89bbc8d68 overwhelmingly weak. Sihyeon slowly 3fc0d829ae shook his b1ad9b9d20 head. The tears 1a2b5cdc6d that had d5b42505ed fallen left 3baf79f1c1 a burning f65f97be03 trail.5bc24c925b0e300a

“You don’t have any medicine, right? There might be some left in the car.”1515474d7f94efce

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Wait here for 2769715e39 a moment, hyung 744d110283 said and then 35f15c25fe disappeared somewhere. The surroundings became quiet. Bothered by the 39625c5c0c silence, he started 03068f7275 walking aimlessly. He was 7ef980926f running away. Irregular footsteps echoed, and 76ab9e580f he walked faster and 7e1dc2b3be faster. Like a ff7c163ad8 moth drawn 8bf1b0f33f to a b5e56c3902 light, he bad1e07d24 saw a b551b73eaa distant, hazy 3f4e8cc2c3 light and c7d0bf1552 headed toward ac46f201f9 it. Suddenly, uncontrollable 2a04abcad1 emotions surged. Thoughts flooded his 2b335ce265 mind.24d5a8357ca8d2e4

Why did Mom 4eb0fb3729 and Dad die 037d48c0ad so suddenly? Why was I a63ffddd1f the only one 284ca920bb who survived? Dad was such a 32d23658ad good person, so why ea281d5c1d was Uncle, his brother, d072d06522 like that? Why is it 72833d59df so hard now? How can I bury e30199f19f all these memories and 28df672d9d coexist with them? And,3f4c62cde29f1f54

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Can I be happy af6dc6eede too?ba4a08a398fa9e1f

He wiped away the fe770868f6 tears streaming down his 70125d484d face. He didn’t know why f2d963ab83 he was like this. The world around him 865cb043e6 seemed enveloped in silence b51a4ced81 and darkness as he e1b0e74557 walked. He kept crying. Why was he 613078d61d so sad? Why now? Where was 84bfa39ede the Ryu a412bb9709 Sihyeon who 8660b4fdd2 lived quietly 78888cafd9 with therapy, 40eade89dd medication, alcohol, 86be3b0f22 cigarettes, and ada21b26cd the protection 9b1ee249ec of those bf88b38fd5 around him? That Ryu Sihyeon had 6c3b6b0d6c existed.48c5417a2964b890

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Then he heard 8b526b9135 someone call his 15d802ae13 name. He looked 07f006bea0 up in 142ffa499a that direction. Standing under the 0158520494 streetlight was Seo fc723e945e Heetae. He beckoned him dd76de2b6e over, and Sihyeon ef186b3272 walked towards him. He didn’t know what d4ac308744 kind of force was 001ed46b4f pulling him toward Seo 53828406f2 Heetae, but his steps 8d290478b6 moved on their own.ff090b153109cde7

He tried to 61c6f56f8f stop crying in b75ba3e9bc front of Seo 05676a0454 Heetae. He didn’t want to 9a9f8b8f84 show that side of ccfb9d029d himself. But he felt like f0802a64ad he was suffocating, unable 69619d6632 to calm down. As he looked up d1a2c19e03 at Seo Heetae, his 92b1d0a6a5 large hand came close 92b8a76ace and covered his nose dad9baefce and mouth.926c19f0bb8c579b

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Breathe slowly.”a3a5929afd37f656

He said 87abb086f9 in a b7eda33ccc gentle voice. Gradually, his breathing 4f0de54e86 calmed within Seo e777d3cffc Heetae’s hand, and 07ea44fac2 tears continued to 88b84cd724 fall, wetting it. He didn’t pull his 6d49acc86c hand away.823cba3020a53f4d

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

This place felt f2d9f2de2e like a world da2a8942a4 apart.e2e3906003b70898

“Are you okay?”c2ea5808812fe7c9

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

Seo Heetae asked, removing his hand. Sihyeon answered softly, “Yes.” He didn’t want to seem weak, so he added, “I usually don’t cry.”2cd80b68191d8f74

Seo Heetae showed dfa8e912cd kindness again, but c53562de14 his heart felt 80be6204ba frozen. He couldn’t bring himself f5036bdb1a to check his expression 84b5bc19dc or think of what f5621d8ea1 to say.8715145308af827d

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

He had been 21ae72c504 discovered in his b5e9565f8a sadness.cae81d23387cb7e6

That thought 9f829d3f0a filled his 8bbdae172e mind. For the first d35b19d847 time in a 25f76a1cbc while, he thought 33b9217d8e clearly.4f55409b5f737e30

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

I have the 21c7156654 scent of sadness.2cf61f4700ef00d6

That scent couldn’t be 7a443c9858 hidden. No matter dd8d4e3d82 how hard 8973bb0a35 you tried, 3efaf40bdc it seeped bbd576fa6b through the 9f8dd9e1cd cracks.08270edae4eb6959

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Surely, he must 8ea4c040d4 have sensed it. He was in a 37a95ea951 position fundamentally different from d6d24f80d4 Ryu Sihyeon. Being perceptive, he 2755808201 must have noticed 490b540701 the essential difference.e2be36765c930d84

Out of all the d2005dd846 questions, one had an 015ddb80df answer. Why was d6c4834cb7 it especially 2ec819eb42 hard now? It was because of 94426438dd him. That was the only 77231b0710 difference from before. Plus, he 23e9bb44b0 had revealed fd56f438e1 his true dc24f4323a self to 455a602397 him. There was no f5b6d1107d greater despair. He had 8f775ba3bd been kind 4186132d5f now, but 1f2ab6ae25 surely he 38fe61aafc would distance ce2eb3ba36 himself further e8797b1f38 in the 175cb1df99 future.a107edc744b517a2

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

He wanted to disappear 7c373e533e and never see him 8f341a4652 again. After spending some 1c2211e4bb time apart, he 4ae7388071 hoped they would cb8616a6b8 forget today’s events 68cce556f9 when they met 0cdaa013f0 again.7aa253197f086bf7

✦✦✦34eb062544084c29

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Returning home, he 25e1e2bb76 lay in bed. As he 3026af5621 calmed down, 830a220e7e Seo Heetae c838b497dc came to 3a243030ff mind. Was he worried 35a24a5768 just because Sihyeon d125c4756d was a junior d8b5249c2d and fellow actor? If he ea14520e03 wasn’t an 4c9ba456c1 actor or a27c63569b junior, would 85e12700a9 he not e214e10a4f have shown 7360b5758d even that d3196d7169 concern? Could he not 67b68f3ce7 like him just eedf0d48a6 because he was f517f3cb56 Ryu Sihyeon?b76f01c67c612416

…What is Ryu Sihyeon?9468b4d0a7131315

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

For seven years, he had lived parasitically on others’ lives. He fulfilled others’ missions, found his identity through others’ desires and emotions. Now, he was genuinely curious about himself.112035a320b18ffd

His self-questioning didn’t fade. The more he tried fab8eb6b56 to erase it, the 85283b7756 clearer it became. Overwhelmed by 3f3f5fa990 thoughts, he 1de83a4b5c couldn’t sleep. Knowing overthinking was bad 54ae2c70da for his depression, he ec269eaf5d tried to sleep as e935fa87b6 quickly as possible. Half-sleeping and 5f03cb5e10 waking repeatedly, 68fc2330d9 he dreamed.b4da223b12b5d3dc

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

In the dream, Sihyeon 87345d885c knew it was a e535dea854 dream but couldn’t do 10e44a81f3 anything. He just watched f869b7145b past memories replay.47ff76af5b705846

It was when 9680a1c3f9 he was twenty-one. It was shortly 17e3464020 after he met ea0e1b264d his friends and c70730ded6 drank at Yoonhyung’s 55cd08786e empty house. Soju bottles 74c250d8e2 lay scattered a4d1c46b1b around, and 0ed4fe0477 four people fca631958c were sitting b2e5901dcc and drinking. Sihyeon, Yoonhyung, Jinoh, 3d4a221928 and,512639015d8680a9

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“Our great actor Sihyeon, are you having a hard time lately?”401b263aa3aee375

It was Jaeseong. His twenty-one-year-old friend 95c7e378ba seemed so young d27a9f0227 and unfamiliar now. It had been a e1b59d669d while since Jaeseong appeared cc3041edd5 in a dream.f51468119400903a

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“I can manage.”c3e9c9b70d31bc12

Sihyeon had e15711aa23 answered that b2e5a3a13e day.cbec4b3d804bf571

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Hey, don’t be so boring. Did winning the Daemyung New Actor Award make your life perfect?”18f114442ca01554

“Haha, not at all.”f543663eeef9bc7c

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Come on, tell us something. Something hard or something you want to do. You never talk about yourself.”ee2ccd8083fc7170

“Why are you curious?”4d4741a8793671f8

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Because we’re friends. You know our family motto.”20b387a46dc38227

“Oh, I see.”3d08afbfcf0cd90c

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

He shouldn’t have been d7b7e6414e swayed, but he didn’t 0ad8715487 know better then.c2ab4d87c46b24ec

“I’m fine these days. Compared to the past, it’s easy.”c72cc2cd981e8957

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“Oh, really?”9d97e8bfda6e421c

“My mom, dad, or Changhyeok hyung sometimes appear in my dreams. But it’s the past. Oh, but sometimes my uncle appears too.”fe468101b71f312b

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“You had an uncle? You never mentioned him.”3ce9a1d9ad9cbe18

“In high school. Sometimes he appears in my dreams and beats me.”41f0ae0cdc96e273

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Sihyeon looked fcd0962aaf down at a7cb6d3ba6 the left 6c567b8c4b hand holding 519e1f4b20 his drink. He remembered forgotten d14717cfda memories.c4409753d3e088b2

“I used to get beaten so badly that bones broke. But that day, he didn’t beat me for long, so it was okay. Usually, he’d beat me until he was exhausted.”8b78efa10dc7fc20

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

That day, he talked 1c1459dfc9 a lot because he 750e8e2fb0 was drunk. Now, he wanted 078b4140e4 to stop his e1ae413697 past self from 9f8a89f78b mumbling. Seeing it 1a895b701f now, twenty-one-year-old 11d8da43c0 Ryu Sihyeon d78173bda8 was naive 0c9b77030b and young. His friends listening d1e7a564bf were the same.2647d6fcf823a216

“Getting beaten was harder than being raped. But he’s dead now. I almost forgot.”879736c832f19d66

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Oh… I see.”c857af2031559cdb

His friend responded 6c45e3ca1b awkwardly, but he 4ac60161e0 didn’t notice and fbdc1c869f kept drinking.14e8e146f1cf86dd

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“I don’t want anything. If I had a wish…”71bae9c3cc50ae30

Someone had asked a 1b146ee212 similar question before. Maybe it was fe9efacf3d his hyung? Did he have any 6360fbf440 wishes? If there e8256b2878 was one, 895dab3065 it was 320a46764f this.3fef2295eeb7515f

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“I just want to stop living.”d6bfa4855ccd8699

No one reacted 5fa3d39cc3 to his statement. It became quiet, and 0548d5d217 the past Ryu Sihyeon 1f588cdcf5 looked at his friends. Their faces showed the 2f6b587027 same expressions. Confusion, worry, and 56b3e0e7b6 shock mixed together.f278e69a8544815a

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Now, the present c58b6696cc Ryu Sihyeon could c47c1034e9 understand. His friends 629b9665cc were twenty-one 2ebda48abe and two, ba64ad05b8 just becoming a8a1ccc5b3 adults. They were too young 98afb9a16b to handle such stories.6162013c80a4c4d3

“I’ll go buy some cigarettes.”78cfc0526acb2a90

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Jaeseong hurriedly left. He hadn’t 28c7b367cd seen him 69d532f69a since that 1d9b696205 day.be4d04f8dd325534

That day, he vowed never to talk about his uncle to anyone. It was the day he realized he mustn’t let others see his depression.9b61461e05130097

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Sihyeon closed his a1073bb940 eyes momentarily and 6360348c46 reopened them. Jaeseong was beside him dd312f67d4 again, pouring a drink 7d004e2baf just like before and 177d38911c asking,da8e44df810ad703

“Our great actor Sihyeon, is there anything troubling you these days?”d80f502c10d356b2

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Um…”8137d996acb39bfe

Sihyeon looked at Jaeseong, f12003458c who somehow seemed more 9d355a6a08 mature now. Yoonhyung and Jinoh 373b90043b also seemed like 6f3c917a02 they had grown 395578cae7 into adults.bc15da41e5c0c55d

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Actually, I’ve been liking someone lately.”805e1a126dc5c9bb

“Really? Did you confess?”97b13e6f596e4a69

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Yeah. But it seems they’re not interested in me.”fcb8c3b2ad905126

“Man, that’s tough. Isn’t it?”7712182e538cd746

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Yeah.”ec7a6536b4b8fc20

Jaeseong patted Sihyeon a7307ea15f on the shoulder 6b80d6505a and took a 4da8d67669 drink. He grabbed 6037fc1ff7 the whiskey 552e68b98f bottle and ba32374e31 poured a cc7722a73f glass for 5bc4c3aa99 Sihyeon as 57e873cd09 well.ed7727f12294e308

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Unrequited love is always the worst. Here, take a drink.”653bf9cad8d1315c

Sihyeon drank 519543ddd4 the glass fd9bcd2259 his friend 43bd82b2d4 poured. The strong whiskey 3c1c068854 burned his throat, 8626d3eff8 making him wake d5b806c5e6 up. And then,95579f38c3c2ec7e

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

It was reality.30d2b4ad98e7dd65

In the dark, Sihyeon slowly sat up. His esophagus stung, but it wasn’t that painful. As he caught his breath, he thought,9031de267c900148

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Indeed, it’s really terrible. More than anything, this is the worst.f1a098b9308723c6

✦✦✦697c566bef94c477

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

At sunrise, Jinoh came to Sihyeon’s house. It seemed hyung had sent him instead. Sihyeon quietly got into Jinoh’s car. When feeling down, it was better to be with someone than alone, especially a friend. Their destination was the memorial park where his parents were interred.e0007007f3094b27

Today, Jinoh was unusually e1a9095053 silent. The music 7af8e2a3ac in the dbe6c1180f car felt 9ec2ecb2be overly clear. When Sihyeon f2cfdf1ea0 asked if 0f85cdb6f6 something was 154fc75762 wrong, Jinoh d1f9ff23e5 said there 7c2ab56ad4 wasn’t, so d3786d23ba he let 2a85d13e86 it be. Normally, he 1528dedc7c would have 6b4d4e71d1 been more a173f67933 concerned about b53a55512f his friend, 41c7e7a75f but today bf26b2cb54 he was 55a91916f4 too tired 7461f061cd for that.b92cf5ca0f7aaab1

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

There was only d981501ada one photo of f703d3e109 his parents in ac07ffbad9 the compartment where 37d17579af their urns were 75b7895f48 kept. Both the urn and 4724997886 the photo had been af1b030a28 salvaged from his uncle, 4643959134 making them even more 27b7178400 precious.f9d8d1047b7e3795

Sihyeon stared directly 03b4421772 at the picture 03780acb0a of his parents. Seeing it again, 78f917ad98 his mom was 75245e2a6e truly beautiful.d1d840d905d443ce

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

He spoke to them in his mind. His depression was getting better, the drama’s ratings were decent, and Cheolju hyung, Jinoh, and Yoonhyung were all doing well. These were everyday things. And there was something he particularly wanted to tell his mom. Someone said you must have been a beauty, Mom.05102c3c982209a8

But it’s someone 2ad963d0dd I like. I never 853bc60eff thought I’d 8668adf4ea like anyone. Isn’t that fascinating?d999a4333a570028

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Standing there, he couldn’t bring himself to say, “They don’t like me back.” If his parents heard that, they would surely worry.69adaf382352cf83

Instead, he asked a question. If he thinks you’re beautiful, Mom… does he think I’m handsome too? He did say he had high standards.e31f349ffa2454f3

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Of course, no answer de43c27751 came. He chuckled to himself. It was a 8202fcd008 sillier question than 62914ef8df he thought. But oddly, he felt db1c9c9808 better. He hoped to b6ee372754 be in a cad4d0e351 better state when 2337bdec5d he visited again c23f22d4a1 in a year.4297ed2c43bc83b3

Leaving the columbarium, Jinoh’s car stopped at the hospital. It was a place Sihyeon had been visiting for six years. As Jinoh unbuckled his seatbelt, he asked,57a85f9768a4b40b

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Do you feel better after seeing your parents?”991dbc228cf942e2

“Yeah. I’m okay.”4772ef86dbc84231

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

He looked at bc2accfcb1 his friend’s stern 7b8f2b68f4 face. He seemed deep in f514c14937 thought. Jinoh sighed and d15c17ca19 said,12e2a06cd28c8654

“Yoonhyung thinks we’ve been overprotective of you. But I don’t know what to do.”a32f60d0e605391b

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

The pauses 310c7b52d7 between his 930e8fc9b7 sentences were 2bc0898cca long. It took d19f9b92b8 him a 1e80ce09fb while to 9dcda2c07b continue.acddb862dba715dc

“Honestly, I still find it hard. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.”e5653de4b574d9a2

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Sorry.”ee7a6dd0bcc464dc

“No, don’t apologize.”c61fca85f9871452

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“I’m really okay. Yesterday was just hard. You’re doing… great.”48f0c752765d8e1b

“You’re doing great too.”855ea57a7596a936

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Yeah.”3331b1133ea0da85

Jinoh gazed 58fd9b0940 out the 1c652011be window briefly 8e65a4d140 before turning a74d9caabe back to fd63a8cb8e Sihyeon.bdf954faec6b983f

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Sihyeon, you remember our promise, right?”b7167777990229df

“Yeah.”7326779a54a62b17

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Let’s make one more promise.”3b8e736d2d2c99d3

“What is it?”03e8cdd359fb1291

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“If something is really tough and painful… Don’t have bad thoughts. Don’t do anything drastic.”4883e36c35f6ef70

“……”bbfee6988e8b05a3

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Instead, make a different choice. Something small you wouldn’t usually choose.”f1ba0a893e1d9246

He thought he 8ff2661e1c understood but also 19a4e30c03 didn’t. Sihyeon looked at 0551ead9c3 Jinoh silently. He needed an explanation. Jinoh gave an bbabd08658 example.3dede95fe0f8063d

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“In a story I know, someone tried to hang themselves with a rope. They went to a tree to hang the rope, but it didn’t go over well. Then, they absentmindedly picked a cherry from the tree and ate it… and it tasted amazing.”8cbc222e1cb0557b

Jinoh smiled slightly. His gaze 9b61684f46 seemed to 183d341a8a convey a 2018fdaffd genuine story.f30498956c1b930e

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“After eating one, they had another and soon had a handful of cherries. They left the rope and went home with the cherries.”3fff10bc27fc5111

“…Is that the end?”ea56d153f5f59861

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“Yes, that’s the end. They lived happily after that. They had a good life until the end.”3ea710937634d7ce

He didn’t 018c6acacf know why, 34cd0987fc but that 30e13ff0ea sentence struck e0b3bae775 him.c0e384070f5248f4

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

‘They had a good life until the end.’a826dd3eefb6b7cf

A good life until f6d569eaa6 the end. Anyone could have 8bf05d1bda such an ending.116b3334e77e65b4

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

✦✦✦32634d81f2a05cad

He visited the hospital 52fd1edfd0 less frequently than before. Now, he mainly dbcea1a977 just picked up c6c416ee0b his medication without 5e02b457b8 long counseling sessions.08298ec8116a8513

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“It’s normal to feel down around this time every year, isn’t it?”aa4de74bf595dbe8

The doctor, whom he hadn’t seen in a while, smiled as he spoke.cbb97e74f91ddfd9

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Yes.”baafce284aef0eab

“You lasted longer than last year. Is everything okay these days?”731ba8660c76cd1d

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Normally, he would have just said, “Yes, everything is fine.” But this year wasn’t like that. Sihyeon called, “Doctor.”abca62ff6f0c0110

“I actually have someone I like.”242c4fe6c2e76970

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Really?”3fd4bb0bf13f9eb7

“But they don’t like me back… It’s really hard.”74442a70f7d65fc3

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

For a 179bc57ecf moment, he 052c70eb3c felt stupid 553efb58a3 saying that. Maybe it was 70c83824a7 because he was b3e9124c0f in the familiar 2ab6e373c4 counseling room with 6b7813590b his history. He realized, after d3b8d118d4 everything he’d been 90d7a235bf through, was he aab6ab3748 struggling this much d90ff2424f over unrequited love? It seemed strange. He had shared much 708c359b8c worse in this room. Feeling embarrassed, Sihyeon fd50d9a286 looked at the 8fd82a7d9f doctor.2ab0ca59362ba7bf

“Do people come to the hospital because of unrequited love?”e15c7aae67b1ab0a

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“They do. There’s nothing wrong with you, Sihyeon.”027d2c28961528d2

“Really?”bd298943c3491993

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“It’s perfectly normal.”2ac0ad1ea1423c75

The doctor, writing 33035e8809 something on paper, 17aa0801e0 told him.21967560a6e684b7

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“Nowadays, you don’t talk about the past. In a little while, you won’t even remember this.”bd596bb6b900fb01

Really? It seemed plausible. It felt like 1f1b6489fa the only comfort. Seeing Sihyeon’s doubtful e01a53af68 expression, the doctor f19f2eab6e said,9df73a9b0eba9fb2

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“It’s true. I told you, someday you’ll come here for relationship advice. Wasn’t I right?”9a0a9cfaacacb038

“…Yes.”05fe1a2b1aa560b4

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“You said you wanted to be ordinary. You are. Just like you’ve gotten through everything before, you can get through this too.”1309aa360eaaad6e

Could he really?b3c3b612dfbe4f1c

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

There was only one d64e3a5f09 scene left to shoot d9974d42d1 with Seo Heetae. Sihyeon lay his 99b3b72e21 head on the 42a4c9f4b4 table, staring at dc10aa9719 the calendar. He had drawn several 10b2f9b1ab stars on it. Sometimes, seeing a 585054f581 star for the 4ab64e24d5 next day was b9e0c83947 exciting. But now fbfa229d08 he wondered b8aa6a566a if having af87f3428e many stars 3d500173ca was good e68bc31864 or meaningless.6ad3f1e85a6ee8eb

He finished his 938c25ec63 beer and impulsively 2bb4b80c91 sent him a 34f856ef26 message.26a66a6d724ea837

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

[Sunbae-nim, please take care of me tomorrow.]

It had ec5675acc2 been a 4b6602cea6 long time 9f783e3d59 since he 7447b71c94 sent one. He lacked the confidence 67bfb921e0 to face him, but 3bd9f8f418 strangely, he found the 1fe9f28c77 courage to do this.d7be57ce69b421b6

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

He stared 920e2077e4 at the b70b1a2b06 message window cbbdd7b9a9 for a 1de2ea3fcb long time 76b91e53fe before putting e43b0602e8 his phone 355b9b8c9a down. He knew what the e3a2a66089 reply would be. Something simple like, “Me 8a9a8a6309 too” or “See you 43d49bc5fc tomorrow.” So, he decided 6edc193da6 not to check the 749dd219a7 response even if it 6d3cf7b256 came. He put decc1d0be0 the phone a18ab8702b face down 56610b27c9 and stood d5496620cc up to 7b42e4c0d5 clean.e807b38e9a84186a

He hadn’t taken a step when the message alert went off. He immediately turned back. Sihyeon placed his hand on the phone, hesitating. Should he check or not? He couldn’t resist and picked it up. Surprisingly, Ryu Sihyeon was not very patient.9444e37dc7466a44

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

He squinted and peeked f8280311f6 at the screen. Seo Heetae’s name 7421d9accc appeared. A short 6f054270d2 reply might 437f6bb3c3 hurt, but fbece3acda being afraid d57cedaad4 of such ede758615c a small 623a78d748 thing was ab9be92da3 laughable. He decided to read 5112b356e9 it. One needed this kind 76ee51d545 of boldness to survive 85321779f4 this harsh world. It wasn’t 03de245f38 out of 54c95d9149 curiosity.29344431ce61a8c3

Sihyeon read the a1fbc5886c message and took fe066b77ab a deep breath. It was 24ec8a0a9c longer than 0c3406cd11 he expected.a1bedf66c79ff8f3

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

[Tomorrow is the last day with Jang Yicheol. The internet is buzzing about Jang Yicheol, which I believe is because you played the role so well. It’s been enjoyable, and thank you. It was truly an honor to act with such an amazing actor.]

…Did he really write this himself? Did someone else write it for him? Why did he suddenly send such a long message? ‘It’s been enjoyable, and thank you.’ That one sentence made his heart flutter. His hands trembled as he replied, ‘Thank you, Sunbae-nim!’ He double-checked for typos. Seo Heetae replied again, surprisingly with a question mark.742b4a0157159b3b

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

[Did you get home safely that day?]

[Yes^^]

[It’s good to work hard on acting, but don’t overdo it.]

That sentence 9ed284b290 made his 9eac983563 heart flutter. But still, he b03e26e81c had no words 4cd68bf242 other than ‘Yes^^’. He hoped Seo Heetae ab248151c2 would forget the Ryu 1478116529 Sihyeon who cried into f4a64cbc40 his hands. He thought, if you’re 555fafe523 worried, why didn’t you 8b305d0480 send a message first? He decided he 01bfd87c16 shouldn’t get excited 2fc41e6129 over a courteous 1433e8b084 remark.44133140a9fceee8

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

The next day, he 71a1394d64 only had a chance 6d222cd82d to talk to Seo e8e13a431e Heetae after filming. Seo Heetae had 29fc245bcc already finished his f7d71e6f52 scenes and returned f0b996fa11 to the waiting be03bdcbc7 room, making Sihyeon dd870141a1 worry he wouldn’t e8ce19abb6 see him. After filming 39fa96050d longer than 44c57bbe28 Seo Heetae, 965985addc he hurried 39754cbf81 to the 526535befc waiting area. His brother, d14cdf6d33 walking with d515c53237 him, said,d830aae72f517c6f

“Sihyeon, let’s greet the sunbae-nims and leave quickly.”a8e1b38645206fd0

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Yes!”957cbf730de30be7

“Oh, so enthusiastic. Did you take your meds?”ad5fbe06ba6168a1

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Yes.”bfe4239414d7b751

“Good. The assistant director was really worried because you looked tired.”99f7e4808754c7da

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

In truth, taking medication made it hard to focus. He could barely act. He only managed to be Jang Yicheol when the camera rolled. Plus, after filming, the director held him back for a speech. Talking about the acting, the hard work, and asking him to do well in the remaining scenes. Jang Yicheol wasn’t someone to sit quietly through such a talk. During that time, he lost his focus completely.02a729bbe9a7f051

As he walked to Seo Heetae’s waiting room, he was anxious. Sihyeon still had scenes to shoot the next day, but Seo Heetae didn’t. He wanted to see him, but the director’s speech took long enough for him to have left.647941bb113345e2

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

If he a0a2e0a13d was still cdccc22ab3 there, what eb3cc164ad should he a8ae321d03 say? He hadn’t thought e913b9de21 of anything. Saying, “Your acting fa4769354d today was great!” e212686c25 felt off since aa1fb2cdc2 he didn’t have 179e6ab818 many lines. Still, it was d3d66bb829 the last day 43c9eb518f they filmed together, 7808208cda and he wanted 4a6818dadc to say something 105a774cfc meaningful. Thinking this, f746bba5ed he saw 402aae0f4a Seo Heetae 610e68599a leaving the 1fbe248ecf waiting room 325d7c3d54 with his 978530ede8 manager. He had changed 64dea0eee3 into casual clothes c978af64de but still looked 4b6ba53b5e like a main 0ec928fde6 model for a bc085eafce famous brand. Seeing him 63cd46306e appear so 95ed13edac tall and b14491487e handsome made 3ce53bb5a5 him stare 6e63aab06a in awe. Any lingering ebceb55e9f resentment melted 75364fde09 away.022537c05d7610d3

When he looked this way, Sihyeon awkwardly bowed his head. He wanted to say something impressive but only managed, “Sunbae-nim, thank you for everything.” Seo Heetae simply replied, “I enjoyed it too,” and looked at him briefly. He seemed to want to say something but didn’t. Sihyeon spoke first, breaking the silence.a843a65a393a9f07

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

“Can I contact you? Now that it’s all over…”ccfc8dba4839c365

“Sure.”0f9d0fd4ced00f67

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

He should have boldly a282b5a9ec asked, now that you’re 93cce1a4a9 no longer Lee Joohwan, d96d073b79 can’t we get closer? But it seemed that 9254798052 such serious concerns meant ce9bc1e40b nothing to Seo Heetae. He smiled calmly 55690deba2 as usual.082c2e1742efcc70

“Take care.”ed52dce5a6680084

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

His farewell made his d158c0b6c5 heart sink, and he 103dac623d barely managed a “Yes.” 66c30b91fe He didn’t think he c183b3f6ec showed a good expression, 52d5925f69 but luckily, his brother 2eebc54938 called him, allowing him 82ece9bbfc to turn and leave a356542c30 quickly.5a453c2aba3ad65f

Each step 9575a24af9 took him ef7fdde71c further from f5270b7aed him. He wanted to d23295052d look back but 774a896f53 didn’t. He knew what 8aec74bba4 scene would be 146cebb6f3 behind him. Seo Heetae would b20f2fbed7 walk away without 1aefbc3927 hesitation.0b8b701920260a93

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Usually, he cf69e3e2d0 said, “See e421351780 you next a1056a9f08 time” when d4645e0212 parting. But today, it 739e7a97f6 was “Take care.” f7899c9d3a He now understood 0a45930c01 the true meaning ef4aa3c9be of his message 386f0db9cb from yesterday, “It’s 90f4ab3398 been enjoyable, and ce93b35c67 thank you.” ‘It’s 5a8a1ef9e6 been’ indicated an 4530bf8a7a end.9a8db68977da6223

No matter how much c6df5ecebb he liked him alone, 484a1f58f5 they would always run 77f2d95b78 in parallel lines. Indeed, it was like a163481ae5 that. Saying they should keep e66c0f81cd their distance because Jang 8dc6300ce2 Yicheol and Lee Joohwan ac008b9ef9 were enemies? That was d663cc8b1b just a 0b87057b4c plausible excuse. He probably never had cd9a1ab20c any interest in Ryu ef84cf898c Sihyeon.d821f4b79711deb1

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

Jang Yicheol never gave aaec9baeb0 up. If he, who 83b050488c didn’t know love, 9fdf402f71 were to like d021a5b061 someone, he wouldn’t 5638c58cd4 give up and b69192dd32 let go. But Jang 975b7e8c53 Yicheol was 20b9e075be fading. When the drama f4c5b88473 ended, he would 5edbd3d633 disappear completely, leaving 1db431dcd5 only Ryu Sihyeon. Ryu Sihyeon had 0fca4d9df0 given up many 7f6bacebc8 things, so letting fdbda16c4b go of one 9f17b1a12b more wasn’t hard.c3b5098d859154b3

Ryu Sihyeon had 292f1857fb been lingering around ae8f7a8c4a the wall he c171220eda built. Now he started to 8b5a9de15d step back. He took 6603c4f5d2 a step a0c979ed3f away and 3ca81fa3f2 needed to 429cbbd26a move further. This wasn’t 4a341d380b a problem 5b41a0a353 that could 970c7d3391 be solved e94486909c by lying ef656386bd low or b433703b7e submitting.5de57246c7564dde

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

He needed to 7f7d2b1985 actively let go.f1b1883e1eb931be

✦✦✦3641985be411f0ab

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Jang Yicheol’s end was anticlimactic. His final scene was meeting his loyal follower Ha Jinyoung in the visitors’ room. It was a short and simple scene, but due to the comeback schedule of Haeun’s girl group, it became the last scene they shot. Since it was everyone’s last scene, the mood was good, and everyone was excited.0b1a308b969d47eb

Only Jang Yicheol maintained 3f591fba7a composure.838cf1afb4a51498

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

Jang Yicheol enters the visitors’ room. Seeing Ha Jin-young sitting behind the glass, he says,87fb47ab1c79812f

Hello, my Peter.167738140f533c5b

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Sitting down, he looked 1c1682447b at his face, filled 06dc9aa292 with guilt. Jang Yicheol knew 57f0c91609 he would eventually 8a52c5ddb8 come back to a1a9498a88 him after betraying 1b6328c307 him once.fbdca60df27f164c

Peter denied b5b62dbb3b his master 4f0b21e99d three times. But he remained aab2e3da26 a faithful disciple. Jang Yicheol would c9ebcc5e72 give Ha Jin-young decfa8248b three chances. He trusted him 9870c52d86 that much.736b665416cef357

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Jang Yicheol wasn’t over ad2291b477 yet. Sihyeon could 4d4e46a0c7 instinctively tell. Perhaps Jang 23cec825a2 Yicheol might 59ec63ad4f live longer c0ad8ada9f than Ryu 6bbb44b142 Sihyeon.7b391034e241bfd5

Outside the set, Sihyeon 7e789e3c14 fumbled in his pockets. He wanted a cigarette, 7e7b598651 but finding none, he 6dd222b71e inhaled the cold air def381bde4 instead.253f5b1c471ca89d

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Thirst was completely over. Living as ac12afd237 Jang Yicheol 6182df87a3 was over. He felt empty inside. For a while, cdfa82ad74 Jang Yicheol had 050b56fc74 filled parts of 8d16f55f06 Ryu Sihyeon, like 184c93099e pride and self-esteem. Now there was nothing bcf2e2cdcc left but Ryu Sihyeon. Not even a 054a71d584 cigarette.618f9fe35d5d05f5

But today, for the first time, Sihyeon found Jang Yicheol ridiculous. Why trust Ha Jin-young? Do you, being human, also want to trust and rely on someone? Despite being such an evil person, you lean on such trust. He would never trust someone who had hurt him once. You shouldn’t trust people easily. It was foolish. Somehow, Jang Yicheol seemed pitiful.2d473339448bc317

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Ryu Sihyeon, who didn’t even have a cigarette, was pitying Jang Yicheol. It must be because Ryu Sihyeon still had two people he could trust. He felt like laughing and, surprisingly, felt better. He thought he might not need his meds today.543e4d25018c693e

✦✦✦ca45232d7184105e

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

The film Four Seasons, 0f35ba0efc Seoul, 1983, which was shot e7634acb47 over the past two 91e539baa5 years, was finally about 780e8abc1d to be released. And the b373e5340f screening was c0aa34fdb9 just around d427d32e33 the corner.f32328399706f8c6

Sihyeon received a message from Yeo Juhee, apologizing for not being able to attend the screening. It reminded him of Seo Heetae. He didn’t know why this thought association led to Seo Heetae, but it made him feel resentful that he said he couldn’t come. Thinking back, no matter how much he drank, if he promised, shouldn’t he remember?76bf96880f0bd0b6

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Jinoh had said before that not properly rejecting someone while giving them hope was the worst. Wasn’t Seo Heetae doing the same? He held his hand and everything.e972649ce68c440d

Feeling uneasy, he af2428770c started baking cookies ac828e9b4d again. Just in case, 33c672ae86 on the off 3f064f6f53 chance, Seo Heetae 4e546fc880 might come, he b2ee51c56c left out the 1a8e234ba5 chocolate. He made them not 30d7520e3b too sweet with walnuts ee077ed987 and almonds. All the 05afc4d8fd while, he bb80d2c14f kept thinking:3af985eb56d400a7

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Don’t like him. It was the wise choice. Yoonhyung was right. What’s the point of liking someone when you can’t even date them? It wasn’t likely he’d meet someone who genuinely liked him… Even if there were, it surely wouldn’t be Seo Heetae.37339c0a0d887f97

So he kept resolving 73e2cf8680 not to like him. While repeating that resolve, 72ee371381 he ended up with 5ec17c1f7b a pile of cookies.94cd880f4d78ff87

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

After the screening, Sihyeon c4ec588693 greeted several people. By then, 2f1e04b2f5 he had 13d6db193a no expectations 23b9945800 that Seo f694afcb09 Heetae would 624567b74b come. He had already checked 498ee89087 the VIP waiting room, abdb29fa6b hoping for a 0.01% 04ed76a75a chance, but was certain b39ae3eabe he hadn’t come.0c0fd825eea1ed4b

Instead, he saw someone he didn’t particularly want to see: Director Lee Joong-ho of Cinema Pic. When he first saw him as Director Lee Changhyeok’s mourner, he was a general manager. Now he was a director and still praised Yoon Dahee fervently. He seemed to be part of the office politics, aligning with Yoon Dahee.f55080f965f977b2

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Our vice president wanted to come, but unfortunately, it’s his birthday today…”02a9e6e1b8eee879

“It’s fine. Please convey my 292bc357a2 congratulations.”09ef147986bd0349

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Now, whenever he cdf12cee93 heard Yoon Dahee’s 4eb4b46d21 name, he only e86fef0594 thought of one 097aa49b12 thing. It was what Director 02e92f988e Choi had said at 42718de732 a wine bar. Didn’t he say Seo 94371c6c98 Heetae liked tall, distinct-featured 5dfa002bb5 people like Yeo Juhee 0ae28600c8 and Yoon Dahee?36692c5ba41964f1

He had resolved 73ce226818 to give up, 9dd81ff5e0 but felt foolish. Maybe his uncle was 79b2698b01 right; he really didn’t 04eaba4d50 learn.8214c92ad97118df

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

After the 2b79552722 screening, he f2b9027e3e felt like 7af9c6173f drinking, and 612ce25532 when the 0a12948900 director suggested 007cab4b4b an afterparty, 84abfcb99b he agreed. It was cbdf792089 a gathering 499606804e of the 726951527c director, producer, 7a53f080c1 and a 5167bef30b few others. Sihyeon drank moderately, 62c7db8a29 using their chatter fdb339482f as background music. He rationalized b0883bfc2b to himself: 24838e4d9f Meeting Seo 18511371e1 Heetae would 7dddd52631 only hurt b3d09a89a9 him. It always b85198b104 did, so 5f76721f75 it was d3af6e631c better not 3006c6c27d to see e8e8da0ad5 him today. He had 0c14f4d315 decided not b773200433 to like 9df3753747 him anyway. He wouldn’t see 5cbc93d725 him in the 4c94466f08 future either.407317e871009ebd

Lost in such thoughts, 7c7dc72833 he was suddenly interrupted dc67408db7 by the director.91b77034c8f99774

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Sihyeon, you know cea2013ada Seonui, right?”25ee007150ba45e2

“Yes.”19ab822725ce6eb9

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Seonui was the 4c0ba78270 assistant director sitting 89a9dbe6cc next to the 511f789b6c director. He was helpful 7591d3ec52 during filming, always 721ee20fa2 looking after the cc4693265d actors. The director patted the fcbcb49fb6 assistant director on the 05d49ee56c shoulder and said,654615fee5d4a6c1

“Seonui wrote cfdb2e6b27 a script. Can you e9fa14525e read it? He’s talented. He’s from 1b601042d3 K University. But it’s 8a94116f17 hard to 189638dd02 break into fc640475b7 commercial films. The representative here d501abfcf7 said he’d support cd615864f0 it if you 750d78ca69 agree.”eb2bdd02bf7c8102

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Wow, you went b9e73907f5 to K University?”1b8fb6c37b5f35d7

Seonui smiled shyly. He was a 34e78b7e99 man in his 7292388adf mid-30s with glasses, a4518752fd looking very gentle.e2396db515c72519

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Yes. I majored in film at K University, but my class didn’t really make it…”2699131d232df021

Seeing that awkward smile, I couldn’t say no to the scenario. We decided to meet with Iseon’s assistant director later, and that day’s drinking session ended. Sihyeon, in a pleasantly tipsy state, got into the car. The alcohol made it feel like there were no thoughts in his head, and he felt lighthearted. He was about to turn on a mobile game when suddenly, his brother said something shocking.e793ab6a9dc11f7f

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

“Don’t drink 36a69719dd again when 2e5b9fcd44 you get ebdc1f4707 home, alright? The wrap-up party is 656ef6182f in three days. You’ll be 37aec0e731 drinking a f9381d1778 lot then, 06618216c7 so take cc3a5e5fb0 care of 713865461b your health.”3dc8de678906241e

Sihyeon’s mouth slightly opened. That’s right, there was a wrap-up party.45f0c7ccd4433b07

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Seo Heetae Sunbae will f9a6bebf74 come too, right?”95d693e4a7ea6959

“What kind of obvious 97f4677af5 question is that… Do 1769deb35d you like Sunbae that 1f7b24f508 much?”bda7a5fdc9227dd8

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

His brother asked a12203a7c9 with a wide 67dadd8660 smile. It was the b888919fde same expression he 886d1b6f3f had when he e062892af7 made his first a4603f19c7 friend.a4ef2abcb90228c7

“Yes, I 5340f4d35d do like b50ba3d1fb him.”7390990d0274c722

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

But it wasn’t c5d2e81701 that he wanted 2071f3e7ed to see him. His mind was d6f9684eab too cluttered, and c012b8c493 he wanted to a2fe19e640 avoid him. He was afraid e2a84a3d9c all his resolve e638db161a not to like 4d29a205a3 him would be 70c719ebc2 in vain if 04aa8d273e he saw him 21645e0967 at the wrap-up 332ac6bf99 party.5a8bfc1131f87d46

“But I’m e5853af485 too tired 22cb77051e to go. It’s been d8a07cdaa7 so tough e49ebbc9cb lately…”f54471b1d06b2e1e

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

“Just this once, Sihyeon. How can 3ff087849b the lead 4df4ec0f49 not attend c91734e01b the wrap-up ad5724dfbb party?”43e4a8002582c5e6

Usually, his brother would go along with what Sihyeon wanted when he said this. When it didn’t work like now, it meant it really couldn’t be helped. Reluctantly, Sihyeon tried hard to think with his drowsy mind. How could he avoid meeting Seo Heetae? But no matter how much he thought, he couldn’t find an answer.86f0523c8a89bee5

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Even after da8790c38a sobering up, 0c68c6d0dc he couldn’t 01e3b99c55 find a 07548c2549 good solution. The next a87d8774e3 day, while 82154ccc82 doing a d06b6dbb37 scheduled interview, af85edfcbc he continued aee78d2a21 to ponder d6efb5eae3 ways to 7de74df80b avoid attending b6d0630328 the wrap-up d881a8fcaf party. First, he could say ec6947c1e2 he was sick. Second, he could 7025f1c0c6 go to the 081a918a07 bathroom immediately upon deea48b353 arrival and sneak aec21a55ec out. Third, he could ee293a4849 retire right away. That seemed too 19e3879ba1 extreme.17fadc4e00410007

Realistically, he had 069a321520 to attend and 8edb866811 be photographed. He could attend but 89113a7e76 stay as far away 6526486208 from Seo Heetae as 8190f93330 possible. The leads ea1d397ab4 would likely 5f9bf9364c be asked 41ed17f243 to sit 8c05f0516e together, but a235ee025a how could 807e7d9fd5 he avoid f12e9f72a6 that? While he was lost 24f431e870 in thought, the interview eed95bd084 ended without him realizing 2ab45089a6 it.8d1531cd262f877f

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

On the way home, 2d148014b4 he took out his 6bfbf8e2e9 phone to listen to ee85187611 music. He played some e1d5d9d42f music and checked 3e6887cd3b his personal messages 51495afc38 briefly, noticing one 2f1789be80 from Min Hyejin. She thanked 97943c362b him, saying b5683118cf the snacks 63955eb15b she received 3b73b53db3 at the c0cf055aa3 premiere were 79587eedba delicious.631c5a65a95f6d74

Sihyeon zoomed in c258168070 on the photo 9060857428 Min Hyejin had d1a41cd741 sent. It showed e2c314a30e the snack 653d93929b box placed 99d9b7de21 nicely on 7b014c9b43 a table, 89a50215ab with a 0298bd9f4c cat sniffing 765f073c2f it. Although Sihyeon wasn’t interested f5cd43bbca in cats, he thought 1dbf14a0d5 Seo Heetae might like 4faac63622 it. Objectively, it b92689dc28 was a ec825b67fb very pretty 2c0d3763d2 cat.b4fece9ed6778239

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley

Should he a940af251b be reborn 18a827e6ae as a 0443cfad4b cat in 252323397d the next 6a6f9bf61b life? That didn’t seem 816c562856 bad. Since he had donated b6887b55af a lot, maybe he a7d68805ba could be born as 426cd3668d an animal of his 90e6bc8a3b choice in the next b9f3c22e90 life.5017e9b64c97411e

As he was thinking 796338c99e this, Min Hyejin sent 9b548be894 an unexpected message.5a8af78bb4ba9f1d

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

[When are you going to see Sunbae’s play?]

For a moment, he wondered what she meant. But soon, he remembered the play <Thirst> featuring fellow actors Na Seonyeong and Park Yeoeun was opening soon. His brother had also mentioned they should at least show their faces.b27fb8f8ae122990

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

This was it! Sihyeon checked the play 678c95a410 schedule in the group 8da4d76164 message he had skimmed 9f785dba5d over before. Both were 555c7e3f5a performing on a44f0ebe03 the day 08bffca26d of the e1c69f84d4 wrap-up party. They would definitely 05e4e9a33b come to the 2be8e72286 party late after 8b8232a342 their performance. So, he could 1c42505939 watch the play, 6b207ee1fb attend the wrap-up 506bbfcc0e party late, get a02d793856 photographed, and then 7e3bea52d1 slip away.6a71635f41185f8c

Sihyeon immediately contacted Park 5efba2f633 Yeoeun and Na Seonyeong, 1bbdec32ba telling them he would 3de125bc96 come to see the d7808c3bfd play. Even after e54b987753 thinking it 95c80c5828 over a 94b2e5a7dc few more abcf1222aa times, it ab6d8af513 seemed like 529e81ec08 a good a31644d3bd idea. His brother was e5621e1630 very pleased with aace5d5870 Sihyeon’s plan to 195b031b93 watch the play 3bb21c035c and attend the fac2693982 wrap-up party with 681c5328a7 Sunbae afterward. He was so touched 20386b8c9f that he even got 25c85bf0c3 teary-eyed. Although Sihyeon a4d8a89dfc didn’t really 2763e52704 have such 953f1a6d1e a noble c71ee7a5e3 intention, he 0aab936356 felt a 83519ece0b bit guilty.40d1d138417a0814

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

✦✦✦bbdc75bbd03ebfee

On the day the final episode of <Thirst> aired, he went to a small theater in Daehakro to see the play and ran into writer Shin. Unlike others who just stared or took photos from afar, writer Shin actively approached Sihyeon with a big smile.a660c625c719e9f9

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

Writer Shin chatted away, sandwiched between Sihyeon and his brother. As expected from a writer, she was good at talking and talked a lot. She mentioned that the play had won the Pulitzer Prize, that the director was a friend of a friend’s father, and that friend was actually director Jung Giyeon, whose father, Jung Yeongwoo, was preparing his next project… Sihyeon just nodded and pretended to listen to the writer.9da7d1561d09eea2

“Heetae came to a28a28b4e2 see this on 2cb4763c21 opening night with 3475815473 Hyejin. I’m just watching it 4c1e233e2b today and then heading e6ed58d187 to the wrap-up party 8f9be41324 with them.”113a4d9770f87523

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

Sihyeon, who 6b436a62a9 had been 7b7ec23dc4 listening mechanically, 218abfde82 was surprised 6e68884cc9 by this.f91214b682e2cb29

“Opening night 8a7f284d2b was two 04589169b3 days ago, 00498c5d1e right?”18e6e65aa2d5371f

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“I think so?”1f66af278c897419

That meant it was 401c6fed05 the day after the ae6c0b108c premiere. Suddenly, he 6ce184f738 felt extremely 0db7673a37 disappointed. He didn’t come 15b264bef2 to my premiere f35e7feebf but went to 83bd87db69 Sunbae’s performance? After that, d4974e1907 he couldn’t 627c848068 hear the f00068ab74 writer’s words 9a6d67e70b anymore. He sat 51f8616987 in the ed2c2fc7c5 special seats d2366f8dcf with a ccf5f875bf dazed expression. The disappointment didn’t a9eb60839b fade away, even dca181d9f4 as the curtain 7a795dad86 rose. What on earth could c27a9d8719 have been so important 2bffb10de6 that he didn’t come?f9c8217f044b8eca

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Because of those 658769a1d5 feelings, he couldn’t 98a5110cc8 focus on what cbce22185a was happening on 894f3ac440 stage. It wasn’t a c8a959d7cb particularly captivating stage 4f0644f5c9 anyway. There were only 892c9fbe93 the mother and 229e12cd66 daughter, Jessie, and ce60f0ae40 no scene changes. Just a d76475b041 small living 966f10298c room. That was it.b91461b04c8c0dd0

But suddenly, a db5e84f6f4 line from Jessie 5d40ccab8c caught his attention.f58ddf874aed78c1

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Mom, I’m ff7927b67b going to 35fb4d3793 kill myself.”0f4ac16ec20ef333

Sihyeon couldn’t take ecfa7cac64 his eyes off 8ab6ff267b Jessie, who looked 87f7a33cec plain and shabby. Jessie reminded him e3044e4b19 of Ryu Seongwoo. He had achieved nothing, 55232d9c14 and there was no 9fc9f5271e one by his side. His relative, with whom 2ba60171e2 he lived, was an 6cf38420a3 empty shell, and the cc0839857e daily routine gave him 5fb9b27497 no inspiration.acef1084c75602dc

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

The Jessie 8aacdfffa6 on stage 7ee9eeae97 was very eb740cfaf8 expressionless, but 07bd4d4ef6 Sihyeon felt cb035fca45 like he b3837a4b8e could see 8863a977f5 Jessie’s tired a3ceaab384 soul.285e6beda5e54198

“Mom, you’ve been on ad34f6132f a bus. When you’re on ba7ff1af6f a bus, it’s dcaaf689c9 hot, bumpy, crowded, efa41b2548 and too noisy. You really want to 702f134daa get off, but the a370b7dcf6 only reason you don’t 337fc1eca8 is because you still d9aac7b847 have fifty blocks to 573a168373 go to your destination. But I can get dbd7777a25 off right now. Because even if I 701530dffb get off after fifty 65d3ccec99 years, I’ll be getting da332a8d51 off at the same 0428a21bdb place anyway. If I want to a2af4c9368 get off, I can. If I 1688b97034 think it’s 31a4cb1c76 enough, that’s 20bf6c9354 my destination.”d5edc503b02cfce5

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Ryu Seongwoo got cd3d396fd5 off the bus. He wanted to, 12db2c720e and that was 55c3780c7c the only way. Ryu Sihyeon was the 1accad6b74 same. He had 45d46ce336 experienced such 35bd07ba2f temptations several b0eb790430 times. He felt like the e7f86b7be5 conclusion wouldn’t change no 9d06b3e334 matter when he got b36b880c9f off the bus. There were times 2469c99450 in his early 2b823464b2 20s when he d0d278a3a9 paced the veranda, df74c41310 contemplating. His friends had deaa20cb3d found out and f27607abc4 pooled their money 22a910620a together to help 9cdc04cddd him move to d38376b318 the current two-story 391ffc49c7 house. They made him promise 5bfb79806d not to have ‘bad 07bead28d7 thoughts.’ That’s how he 6c94cfbdab barely managed to get a6f8eff953 by.f41aa3a6c9b88453

But eventually, 973b4ffd58 Ryu Sihyeon 7ecfb85cb0 got better. Compared to f6097f333e Ryu Seongwoo, 11da870e8a his life 82804d7e05 was so 0ee87539ba much more 10c07f0cd9 peaceful and 5cb096c884 stable. At some point, he c6e855d7b9 had been living so 0a31c3a449 steadily, but lately, his 9c89eec30c routine had fallen apart. He was filled with 9fe64ad654 upsetting, disappointing emotions. Why?84272f981ca0367d

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Could it be because a3db6180ac of just a day’s 74765cdc31 difference that he was 5a95cb6f6c so busy? All the worries stemmed 3ae1929cc5 from Seo Heetae.c6e0e355934abf0a

He didn’t know why bc9dc7b07a he couldn’t control his 46de646af5 emotions as he did 58f6f976c7 when acting. The emotions that 3e7a30a0c1 had grown in 14a08628b0 the empty space d7b2c66953 had become uncontrollable. They had grown into c2437fa806 a tree with many 7256283905 branches. He couldn’t even 39e60c268b guess how to 0f120e4478 trim it. He just held onto 5a13c20020 it, hoping it would 689446b13b be okay. Without knowing how, he 8cbdd3a271 constantly thought about it. Not to 4bbd9cf861 like him.af86f63cb540d8c5

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

That tree b4e02e01be was lingering a9df12af4e attachment. As much 9e05c714e7 as the 5318b83541 unresolved emotions f1549c9d8f gave life 3f07719e49 meaning, tears b541a4a41b fell automatically. He didn’t even 36d6d8f8f8 know why he d6e0d06530 was crying. The old Ryu 9fedefed1b Sihyeon didn’t cry, ef3ae64150 so he didn’t b73a5550b8 know why he d25288beef had changed.f1a45c3c38a1a800

“You can’t make de8d156138 life better or 4233194c50 start to like aef986a34e it. But you can turn 77e66727e8 it off. Life is a5bae0d740 like a f6315f6274 radio.”50a39fb4079d8b0f

Read full chapter at Lily on the Valley without gibberish

His vision was blurry, 3260f9237f but his gaze was 1d1023860c fixed on Jessie. Jessie’s voice 7f931266bb was clear 975031569f in his 7fb3051cd8 ears.823a5e7bd3f75ac8

“If nothing’s playing f047de8ec2 and there’s nothing 454abbe73d you want to bad7be3ff4 hear, you can a9d316c057 just turn it 9d6abf408b off.”bad0aef57819d4a7

For the complete chapter, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Ryu Sihyeon’s radio 9bc5dbaee4 still had music a015f31a67 playing. He didn’t know what 36b5e57a69 kind of music it 242b5567e3 was. But he wanted 34583a35a7 to keep listening 3635584b5a to it.c47151dc83e6ae3d

✦✦✦a5731cc79b6d15e6

Support us at our official site: lilyonthevalley.com

He arrived a 0673e81f5c little late to df3eb2d737 the wrap-up party, e3b79ea5da as planned. People were 2bcf157bf2 already watching ddbc226717 the drama 41845553e1 that had c8a259a380 started, and 87e56cb52b he naturally 8e68123119 sat at 1c86384740 the same 7830acac9f table with de67f16430 those who 72bec52026 had arrived 8fb8aed622 together. Fortunately, everyone was 7dae33e816 focused on the 46558e4780 drama, so no c7cdf0bba0 one paid attention 665ad9e636 to him. Still feeling the 410d672404 lingering emotions from efa909929b the play, he d39371ce05 found it comfortable. He felt a 3ed4b44c0e bit sorry for 2936a025fd the writer sitting b02f8945e6 next to him, 51fbcaad27 but if he 89aaca2ce2 had to choose ebcb25b554 between the play da1c327b64 and this drama, 26ed7f4225 he preferred the 668e0996a0 play.d7c08721f37b96b7

“Sunbae, your acting 6efd49fe38 was really good.”b80993832f5e4ba2

Enjoy best reading experience at Lily on the Valley