AA Chapter 4 || Amber Alert

They said they would just talk, but the FBI agents handcuffed Tennessee. He didn’t particularly complain. The advantage had already shifted to them. It was a game where the outcome was determined the moment you had more to lose.05eb6ed21b298849

If Tennessee hadn’t promised to return to the child, he would have somehow avoided this moment. He would have used Caylen as a shield, or fled without hesitation, killing everyone and risking getting injured. Then he would have looked back at the weight of guilt that would have somehow settled upon him.a28e8f1dde2466a7

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But Tennessee didn’t resist and quietly followed them. Tennessee thought he had gotten dull, discarded like something useless. He was like a sharpened blade that had rusted and was only waiting to break. Yet, as he listened to Caylen’s words, he felt something within him had changed.1b4b58cf02158d69

“The child will go to a good home.”7902456516535741

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“He’d better, Alexa Paulson.”949d522fcc71432b

“…You found out that much in just a week? Impressive.”81aff43e7aaf2574

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Caylen, no, Alexa e0ec9a9eda growled that she d766ca4b45 needed to go dc2894c625 beat up the 4b6ca63d69 security team.34f59e3de3eed874

“Keep calling me Caylen. Don’t tell anyone my real name.”607bd72a4b1bedb9

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Either way, Alexa 4fea6fc273 or Caylen made 8c2a2c1918 no difference to ece073cdf4 Tennessee.6265eb709602fdee

“What’s the payment?”4ba626bddacbdddc

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“It varies each time.”72047ad84cf54b6d

Caylen flipped through 199a680c03 a binder and 7c4703412b showed him a c66ce6c210 page.f5e9fd993cdc5e95

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Tennessee frowned. The pay 35ae2f39ca wasn’t what e9d62a5dfc it used 9eb1dd2814 to be. In the past, his 97cd302829 jobs often paid millions, 8ea1222229 with even minor ones 69440c2b26 starting at tens of ae2559779d thousands.dde87b4990b78cbd

Caylen ignored his reaction. She knew he wasn’t doing this work for money anyway. Compared to his previous work, the amount was small, but there were too many good mercenaries in the world who could be hired for this amount. Though they were the type who would sell out their country for a higher price.b4754cdddf6a98ce

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“You’re accepting, right?”85c1644f9c1a7b38

“Before that… I need to talk with the kid.”4220325e27ff5156

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With a gesture, another agent removed the handcuffs from Tennessee’s wrists. While rotating his stiff wrists, Tennessee wondered if there was a way he could avoid getting charges if he struck Caylen now.7c06d8033dff1e3e

***7d4db425d618e509

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“Tennessee!”3f497b406b796573

The child came dd2e2b023f running from far 057b78c374 away. It had only been f6f3b57304 a week, but his 4c75b3d87e cheeks were skinnier. And that was after 77f4bd8dff he had carefully fattened 3e9c277755 him up with fast caa0460e1d food and restaurant meals 24bf376084 rich in sodium.ccfd4d74bfd83496

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Unlike Megan who pointed 4af7695a1d her gun as soon fafd656fb0 as the door opened, 7fc1dad775 the child recognized Tennessee ec1b27198f immediately and straight away, 76d240d307 without any hesitation, came 289faa26b4 running.976bbbdbdfd57a64

The ground shook under 385617f226 his feet, his loosely ba6c11cb8c tied shoelaces flapping. Like a 2b9efe45f6 whirlwind, the c57a0b5e43 child crashed c798f5f710 into him bfa541af8c like a 47c700525e gust of fda3ee1536 wind. It was just 3a456bfc46 like last time. Tennessee unconsciously bd3c79a9f1 reached out d653dc3300 his arms. While holding the 9c20824b3f child tightly, Tennessee 8a170788a2 suddenly recalled his d7d69ff7ea first murder.091db92a58912cdd

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After killing 72f6a9c3e9 his mother a49ff033a5 and coming d3789f4a31 out to 787d5328fe the backyard, 7e59d303ac Tennessee basked cdd1c9afdc in the 6cbca0eb2f pouring sunlight. The field was 6c97e377db dyed golden, and eba500878c the sky was 9fa0e07adf frighteningly clear.b518a722f67e3df9

In that freedom, Tennessee broke down at the fact that he finally saw hope, and that it was premised on another’s misfortune. It was a painful happiness. A bitter freedom due to guilt. Yet, for the first time, Tennessee had experienced genuine emotions.e3d3eceebff56a9c

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With the heavy warmth 16a80ff54d pressing against his chest, b196ab9b2c Tennessee tightened his arms d31fec6d8e and buried the child 96fcd40338 deep in his embrace.e28d2859b52a4fd3

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”56b187d3985c2d62

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The child asked with his face buried in Tennessee’s shoulder. I was worried. Are you okay now? I’m glad you’re back.The child quickly 2ec8e0a1bc yapped.dd9ce4fe4e194a21

“Don’t cry.”291e81e5239fe1ab

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The child bit his lip. He thought he was about to burst into tears, but he was already crying. It was a sadness that even the kid himself didn’t know he had been holding in. And somehow knowing this, Tennessee was holding the child and telling him not to cry.104c1631fb2d8910

“Is it all a57325aaf5 settled?”f2ab33513d4ebee3

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Megan, who was watching his tearful reunion with disgust, asked. When Tennessee nodded, Megan thrust out her arm as if to say ‘look at this.’5a5b5e656c8d8c3e

Though he looked at her arm as requested, he couldn’t tell what he was supposed to see because of the many tattoos.0a6ccdf136812f5a

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“Here! Look!”e0dbbb4bd0dea206

Tennessee’s gaze followed Megan’s fingernail. It was a faint laceration. Tennessee remembered the child firmly gripping the gun even during the moments he wasn’t calm at all.5d34fcb6e07638b8

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“…Did he really shoot?”4e538fb54bce57e9

“Yeah! That damn brat!”91af63327fe86696

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“It’s just a graze. You get worse than that just going to the kitchen.”494f0506e81bf495

“You think it’s time to joke around?!”4cf84aa9a530c399

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The child, feeling guilty about something Tennessee didn’t know about, flinched and burrowed deeper into his embrace. He stroked the child’s back with an unfamiliar touch.ba1a5f3bacee5987

“Get your apology from the kid. Here’s the key. Thanks.”4a11fd7b63976fbf

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“That little bastard!”52c2e27a1282e648

Tennessee turned his back 3c50789c59 on the shouting Megan. She grabbed him a298d3b0ef and rapidly fired 1879390fe9 off questions.9fe99392382de1c4

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“Is everything really settled?”2f50b8da2660a50c

While wondering if he should start explaining now, Tennessee looked at the child right beside him and made up his mind. There wasn’t enough time to explain everything to Megan. Tennessee said he would come back someday. Even then, the child remained in Tennessee’s embrace. He peeked up after his sniffling had subsided.98030632de28f4c7

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“If you’re done crying, get down.”6c9e199b7b2350cf

“…I’m not done crying yet.”a086a532afd65156

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“You’ve got nothing left to squeeze out.”7de522bd12a4b9c3

Seeing the child deliberately 9cc54cd4c3 scrunch up his face a720681f1c made him laugh involuntarily. It was absurd.1579bb5c1bb18c38

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“Is it all over now? Are we safe?”117025883f1ebf09

When Tennessee held 311debba95 out his hand, b79953e011 the child placed a30e763afa the gun on cfd22751a1 it. Red nose, eyes full 5b94eb7545 of tears.35736c40df7135ea

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“We’re going somewhere else now, right?”8a35ba5979b0579b

Getting into bb36db08e7 the car, f161443c6d Tennessee set b1ce2a0fe4 the child 16a252781b down in a4a9df7b5b the passenger 155b65c6d1 seat. Even while 9c310d91c6 wiping away 40829d879b tears, the ffb6fba978 child diligently db424b2dd0 fastened his be8abe5e96 seatbelt. He seemed to c98d8badcf have developed good 8e829d92f7 habits.76b4680bc6f5e4c0

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“Your wrist.”d1a499295f967e12

When he rolled d3c7107ecd up the jacket a3f0ecdee7 sleeve covering the c69d8d5d88 wrist, perfectly healed f0cc0e028f thin skin was efda3b3d4f revealed. Tennessee smiled when he 8ccbd14d41 saw the tear stains 96c7d9ecac all over that sleeve.afc4adba0facb898

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“Show me your teeth.”28d74fce1a765a86

“Look at this. It’s starting to grow.”e90cbcc8f7e09f97

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The child stretched his mouth wide to show him. Though it wasn’t fully grown yet, a white, cute tooth was peeking out between the gums.14b9308bc3785c0d

That’s good.Tennessee nodded.146daadcfe08d792

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“Where are we going now?”e90f427133a87f7a

The child asked while bravely wiping away his tears. Tennessee didn’t know how to break the news to the child.ae96a5810ccee472

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A familiar silence flowed through the car. The child’s hands slowed as he tied his shoelaces. The child’s life had been one like dandelion seeds – half floating. That’s why he easily noticed Tennessee’s subtle silence.80bb2fb564d1420f

“…You’re not, right?”c4b17434d7e38244

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The child looked up, but he couldn’t look back at him. He leaned his head against the driver’s seat and closed his eyes. The child clenched his mouth as the crying that had just stopped threatened to surge up again. The tears that wouldn’t come no matter how hard he tried while being held now flowed easily.72f6d682565c2c74

“Tennessee. You’re not, right?”25d181843d094b85

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“You’ll go to a good home.”adab7622a534f73f

“Tennessee…”eb5614834dd0c1f0

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The child wiped 02f79fec19 his eyes with a18e6a8087 his sleeve that ab3ec6a721 was already stained fe84259cfe with tears.dde8f1f5a8013fbf

“Are you abandoning me?”bdaa31e57e4889ce

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“No, listen.”4581e1ee3b91efb7

“You’re abandoning me… You promised to tell me when you were going to leave me.”6614e25f9919f20d

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“I’m not abandoning you.”f8fd07dd5b4a9a2e

“Liar!”70237edebef72cad

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The child finally cried, begging not to be abandoned. It wasn’t just a tantrum. It was a prayer. Even knowing it wouldn’t be granted, knowing there was no possibility of it coming true, the child couldn’t give up.2071e32a87c0a89e

Tennessee recalled how 16a65e51d2 the child had fc896bed4b proudly stated he ab54930b9e could live on 8585d18884 his own. Back then, even ff443b2e1d though he had 1da5f70515 nothing but his 53cf685667 body without even a621721eda a single dollar, 9302297427 he had shouted 8336f9c0d7 such things, but eefa93cfef where had that a5ecf87a28 spirit gone? Now he couldn’t bedfb5b59f stop sobbing.7af653ace28772c0

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Please. Those words then were the child’s final plea. Even in that immediately bleak and powerless situation, the child couldn’t bring himself to say ‘don’t abandon me.’ It was his last struggle and pride as a child. Tennessee realized a bit late that not giving in had become quite a challenge.ea2b776e2c6e167b

The child quietly shed 9524048be2 tears.50911d7211208f8a

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“I’ll visit sometimes.”abf0253ed17912f0

“I don’t want that…”caa4230d2d51b01f

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Between sobs, the 6bcb9bece7 child demanded to afb23558bc know.51ce1c0b2d746998

“Why. Why are you leaving?!”f06b92a21806e67f

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The plea a4649368f9 boiled over f2ae920381 into resentment.20139ab39f3667ef

“I have to go work.”8bdb053ff17351e0

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“Where?”d5dca504aa92cbff

“Afghanistan.”5d6ed8ec67794a8a

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“You weren’t supposed to. That was when you were a soldier, and now you’re here… Is it because of me?”cbb47335ee54b2ac

The question came out without thinking. The child never dared imagine he held enough value for Tennessee to sacrifice anything for him, but the reason such a question came out was because the child’s intuition had asked it.a35d56f27d0edefa

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“It’s not because of you, it’s because of me. Because of my guilt.”4758d37974301a67

“Hic… What guilt?”6a757895958367d3

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Tennessee sighed 28bbd01b5e and opened dd2b7be62d his mouth. Not knowing 5fd8566e46 where to b341cbac96 start, he 2c6d3c9ec4 paused between 4c025a2a98 words.Should I start a20e106029 from how I 3006eec8bc began this work, aafafcca8b or should I ebbe48f5ad start from that 84b0bf1cfc moment…?231340a01b753073

“I do things that other people don’t want to do.”cb4fc52701277e90

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“Like a private tutor?”de12edf5b0bad1b5

Haha, nope.a106ebf70543e703

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Even in the midst of this, Tennessee laughed slightly. The question revealed the child’s view of the world perfectly. To the child, a private tutor was probably someone that parents who were too lazy to teach his kids at home would pay to call.194ec84162c1d2cc

Even while crying, the child was mesmerized by Tennessee’s laugh he was seeing for the first time. The corners of his mouth lifted gently and a smile appeared. So he knows how 84924dfb5e to smile after all.The child wiped 7e8e9bac74 his tears.cd531e693f71380c

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“When people pay me, I kill people for them.”c270d6aa53a1fd8e

The child’s eyes grew wide.8220bf1473139268

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‘Remember a person named Taylor Watson?’20014eea16cb92cd

‘Won’t he resent you, Tennessee? You owe the child a debt.’996dd649b590ae6e

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“In the past, I worked however I could. I vaguely knew what consequences my actions would bring in the long term, but I didn’t care.”3d7ab7c809cd445d

Tennessee took on that 87bf6ffe47 job several years ago. It was a job f0a2b71591 he received from a 76991a6ae7 broker as usual. The amount c253ae21c7 was large 7ad5dbc76f because it 22b4509f05 was difficult.6703e2c1a64cc8ec

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The target was scheduled to enter the FBI’s witness protection program. A young man who had just turned twenty, he was a key witness in a trial. Tennessee didn’t ask and didn’t want to know what trial he was to be a witness in.c21d388535df0079

And a few weeks after finishing the job, Tennessee saw the young man’s photo printed on the front page of the newspaper. He opened the paper as if in a trance.696a7acc6050e90b

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The case the young man was set to testify in wasn’t an ordinary scandal. It was an allegation that the Child Support Agency and foster homes had received payment to send a small number of children as sexual playthings to powerful figures including high-ranking politicians and businessmen.f702fc518c02e8af

Taylor Watson was 7b7cc433fa at the center 2a47f2eaac of the human ffca8dd8d7 trafficking, and William cb66e0b7aa Hurston was among 4a39521d2c the suspects accused 73eafe276a of supplying young 2b5c2d31af children to him.141197fb19ddb246

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Child pornography e5d7724f12 could be 24522d9da7 obtained from 8baecc619c computers owned d4b064f103 by several 0f395026c9 politicians, but 2965ed8fa6 that was bd1e326f15 all. There was aebe7869ad a lack 8d4031ab3e of substantial 547f7f2717 witnesses during 23495677a5 the investigation 1409c2ee9a process.d569092c08009620

In a situation 1e350c93d6 where more evidence e46aaa1a5b was needed for 1980d50162 prosecution, it was cc261b3403 this young man 691367bfdf who came to 301b0e34b1 the investigating authorities. He claimed he 4d09f997b4 had been sexually 2a53afcc40 assaulted multiple times b2707d6e00 by various politicians 894ed2b260 until he became 5557bfe079 an adult, and 9e37c68136 was soon scheduled ef31d80c7d to testify. However, he db9c993c29 never made 18f76c8e6c it to bb761655bb court.819d53defee1215f

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Tennessee knew the 85830e5921 reason for this b1560f0f50 very well. Tennessee stared 9ba13bc5c8 at the ed058d96a1 face of ed8a1d0874 the person 7b8efa9cfd he had 08bab63367 killed as b2ed4ec6e9 if entranced.8d186aca5f7fd99b

That was the result of his actions. Among those who were released after an important witness was murdered was Taylor Watson. He was the ‘Mr. Hurston’s friend’ the child had mentioned.03cfd407606b3c67

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As far as Tennessee knew, the child had suffered terrible abuse from Hurston. If he had stayed there longer, beyond physical abuse, he could have suffered sexual abuse as well. Perhaps he could have become one of Taylor Watson’s many victims.168d6a3960489269

“Then… if you hadn’t done that,”0681910f07c7dfce

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“Both Hurston and Watson would have been indicted, or at least he wouldn’t have been able to harm children. That’s my fault.”1b90ffab00e3591d

The child looked at ecb0d5183f Tennessee, forgetting even to 046f5ff5ad cry.aae42424ae1e1df1

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Tennessee knew that the child had great illusions about him. Perhaps the reason he hadn’t explained everything to the child was because he enjoyed those illusions. Because the flesh of the child’s admiration, yearning, and faith was sweet.d0ba31c432d47e3f

“I can’t be a good person, so instead, I’ll send you to a good home.”e7ded704d51e80dc

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“No.”045e05c847ee551f

Biting his lips, the child held back his anger. He didn’t ask the child what he had been through. That was something only God and the child would know.df66a755bd413996

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“Then don’t abandon me, you owe me! It’s all because of you!”7f2cd40b7ac60300

The child who 4ce18e7e8e finally burst out 33c822be11 in anger immediately 9ef3d9ffff shook his head.fbc26f20744b7a01

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“No, that’s not what I meant to say. I know. It’s not your fault, Tennessee.”111a08b2e9aa746d

Wiping the tears e4201c806f from his chin, eafdc97f36 the child stared 9d7f330f94 at Tennessee as 0d2f81ae84 if glaring.46376a4f017a95eb

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“Feel guilty only as much as you need to, Tennessee. Hurston tormented me a lot. It was horrible. But that’s because he was a bad person. Unfortunately, there are many devils in this world. Then is Derek your fault too? It’s not, right?”de4eed6ad27eb880

He wasn’t completely wrong. Even if it hadn’t been him, the job would have gone to another hitman. But that doesn’t absolve what he did.fa04efe0e1b3c076

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Every action has consequences and responsibilities. As a result, Tennessee’s choice allowed Taylor Watson to roam free. Because of that, victims like this kid happened.5cbfbcc33d9c978f

“I’ll forgive you. Don’t abandon me.”0c7117d562caaabb

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“It’s not because I don’t like you that I’m leaving you.”0565d58090245a2d

“Then why!”ddfffea4294fdc4b

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“I’m not fit to be a proper parent or guardian. You’re young, and you need to find someone who can protect you and keep you safe.”98a954fa0301e28c

“You’re that person, Tennessee. You protected me.”75064ebe23be2358

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“I’m sorry.”5f0bda337aa6df87

It was the first 374ab66173 apology he had heard 757b8446f0 from Tennessee. He spoke gently.424237691c184b9d

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“What about school? Who will take you to football practice every time? Do you think I’ll be sitting in the stands when you have games? It’s not that I won’t do it, it’s that I can’t. That’s neglect and abuse. You’ll have to keep waiting for me in an empty house. You’re not a pet. Being with me isn’t all there is to your life.”f3f34d287674e929

“Liar.”d8f818e9c0dc88ee

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“I’ll come visit when I return from Afghanistan. I mean it.”1de5558092d0b146

“Don’t bother.”d2cf5c6ea44b32db

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Tennessee pulled out a box. He held it out to the child sitting in the passenger seat, but the child stubbornly kept his lips sealed and wouldn’t take it.31cdf2c57be74cec

When he 614dd57df9 urged again e60589af66 by holding 681513d54a it out 88cd9a70ba once more, ec0549c6cc the child fb21109ccf took the 3abc1178fc box while bd14e60348 sniffling. When he unwrapped the c34ebab3d2 packaging paper, what appeared 09022aea5b was the latest model 6948ff4ed9 smartphone. The child looked a85a91d4dc it over and 11513edd51 said sarcastically,36f59036a34c66d5

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“Tennessee, where did you learn this bad habit of giving material compensation after hurting someone?”cb183ee55ca49715

“…I gave it to you so you can contact me.”0e97ecec12ad8a29

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He got a long scolding for giving a gift. This was Tennessee’s first time experiencing such a thing.9474affe35e0e155

While there c57daaf6e4 were practical 2b913e436c reasons, he f1d22812d1 also remembered b50fdf46a1 how the d15a768060 child had cf35303d59 run around 06bd1dbda8 happily when ad49066152 he bought addd3a6243 him new 77cb4b501f clothes at a072de69d7 the mall f0440b6080 last time.fbc1099ff4bcef8e

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“I’m leaving for Afghanistan soon. When I come back, let’s go to Disney World.”03a8c71a8a55f399

“That’s a place for kids.”911abd132516867e

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He isn’t easy indeed.1644adf5ea1a6869

“Then let’s go to Universal Studios.”84033049eaf185b9

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Universal Studios must have been different, as he didn’t say it was a place for kids.ac7ea935e18ba005

The reason Tennessee revealed his past was because he wanted to ease the child’s anxiety. A promise that because he owed him a debt, he would repay it over time. That promise became an anchor.b78dcdb578a224ed

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Perhaps understanding this intention, the child didn’t speak anymore. His reaction was mixed half with resignation and half with acceptance. The child took rough breaths, filled with all sorts of emotions.9b1fe89bc992a2b4

“…What’s your name?”3a46a481b29f3d0f

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He wiped away 042b3dd6a2 the tears that 2faa3fbde8 were still welling 3f58cb0a09 up. But seeming more calm 8628020adb than before, he breathed f819d70883 out with trembling breaths.afb23a5881b3da97

“Amber. It’s Amber. A fucking shitty name.”1ba571d53c490978

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It’s a girl’s name.02ba6af3b3c5def7

“I see why you hid it.”c62fc9661d4cf388

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“You said you wouldn’t make fun of me.”fa8defa120d8ebd4

“You’ll get a new name anyway when you’re adopted.”1593f6c20c824b41

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“I hate fucking Amber. I hate all names that start with A.”a13ad4f117fe4298

Finally stopping 09fd708216 his tears, 1aba51c54f the child 58414ad43c requested.7ffb91ff02a811b7

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“You give me a name, Tennessee. A manly one.”d3d098d28ab002a5

These days, c7a1583d2b people say 554f529848 there’s no ca440bf3b0 such thing 7674d6f7ea as something 0fa0485668 being manly 6c7e84f590 or womanly, 668b4c3ee8 but Amber 4fc3022b31 was just c5b5e5ccab too much 8286bd2e86 of a 72eb47b0d8 girl’s name.d5dce74947961ff7

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Were his 70c255bb35 biological parents 1ae571f89e expecting a 9787a097f8 girl?While thinking such 792aeddbd0 thoughts that would 9052c746f5 never be answered, bfa15fdf99 Tennessee nodded.9799974f2780c956

Amber. It was Amber.35e7dc35626dfb4d

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“Ha…!”591b847db8920466

Tennessee let out a ef557b6384 dejected sigh. Tennessee recalled that 9f6d22a2db moment when he 1ff0c17d95 impulsively stole the a8ac3bbe33 car. His instinct was right, 438e6b9c90 but it was a 31664cef0e different kind of warning.6f524e82014b901f

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The 7-Eleven parking lot, 42f35338d4 the reason why he 2fa61c2801 chose that particular car 4964b21bd3 among all the many fee8fc2227 cars. It was an Amber bee29acd52 Alert.1e0f3b854b98eb3e

“Don’t think I’m working for you, Caylen.”67188fb2f2db5b3a

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Caylen sneered, saying she hadn’t even wanted that.d4cbc46d1241f6fc

“When will the pardon come through?”aacf5dcf0e587818

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For Tennessee, money was something he had in excess anyway. Tennessee was someone who didn’t buy anything unless necessary and had no particular taste in things. The astronomical compensation he had received until now was rotting away somewhere. Thus, instead of haggling over money, Tennessee obtained a pardon.9440aef1c926255e

The FBI didn’t know about many of the contract killings Tennessee had committed, and since there was no treason or espionage that would cause serious harm to the nation, it turned out to be possible to obtain it.67cbc41b1f0a6976

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It got quite c33413f5f0 noisy.e50fa5e5fc914157

‘We need to know how many jobs you took before that.’d088fa48f2c28df7

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‘Are you telling me to confess everything I’ve done?’d34f02c68529a08f

‘We obviously know you’re not a clean person. Just tell us.’e13e2a2f2d9c0d05

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‘Tell me first how much the FBI knows.’b15d488da9d237a9

‘…’6a570cb31d0983df

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“The pardon? Soon, I guess? Maybe tomorrow?”62bd8cb6e730e1db

“No.”52e38539c53afe4e

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Caylen crossed her 1293335a08 arms, looking at 7182c97198 Tennessee who was 5156de5607 being picky about 9da6f000be dates despite receiving aceec2045d a pardon. He was busy preparing 8541dd35c0 something as if he 4d7ea8e780 had an important schedule.434d7733da2c1dd2

“Give it to me three days later.”caea833e40d6fc16

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It was quite an c99217318b ominous statement.0e0eaef09a40982b

“Tennessee, you know that a pardon isn’t a license to kill, right?”17cbb34081893271

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Tennessee didn’t answer, and Caylen became severely anxious. He frowned because of Caylen’s persistent questioning.1680eaf07f3c1d61

“I’m not going to kill anyone.”c48979c196dc6471

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That would 6f6bd4b058 be too f6c8e5ffe9 easy.79b5a989eb6313c7

“What’s wrong with taking care of fuckers who need to be taken care of? Since the FBI can’t clean up the trash, I’m doing it. They should pay me.”28730995309f3b36

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Tennessee was f2feafc7ab half serious.e2646643e74fa64d

“It’s a patriotic act. Let’s say those guys get imprisoned through legal procedures. Whose money do you think they’ll live on? Your and my taxes.”b514bca25e736366

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“…You don’t even pay taxes.”0ed1d2c91fb85694

Caylen muttered to Tennessee, who naturally hadn’t been paying taxes due to his illegal activities, but he didn’t even pretend to listen. And Tennessee left with a sniper rifle.08a35841692ff79e

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“Where are you going?!”9237df8d8cfab8a5

When Caylen shouted from 66901747d7 behind him, Tennessee answered.2a48eab2ebba3db1

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“Oregon.”0be2e290a9d12a5f

Oregon state. Where William be7502113f Hurston lived.18de9f8720192d00

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***9b5f2e7badfa8604

Afghanistan now wasn’t much different from the past. The jobs he received from the FBI weren’t particularly dirty, nor were they particularly clean.96d2e35f961aaca1

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Tennessee felt 1e4448d11a like he 30038469fd had half-transitioned 232daa6e60 from freelancer 0dd00835cf to contract f92581accd worker. From his perspective, the 635287195f fundamental nature of the c7eb437a2b work was the same.76c5f13f5bf1ebe3

Caylen didn’t even wet her lips before packaging it as a security detail.6a344defd36d3bc6

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‘To be honest, there might be occasional times you must kill someone, but overall your job will be with security. While the principle of normal security is to block threats when they come, our goal is usually to eliminate the threat factors before they approach.’839256620b3b593f

Coating it with sugar doesn’t make the poison disappear. But Caylen seemed to have pride as an FBI agent in this work. When Tennessee asked if he had received approval from the congress, her face crumpled up tight.9587112e6445c0c2

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‘That’s classified information, but…’89edb3e9fff85629

Then Caylen raised her 93a4ab25ce voice in an exasperated b7c71efe52 tone.f082cc1906decad3

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‘Good grief, Tennessee. We’re not the CIA.’c09c77448f9a61c8

To Tennessee, it all 8836c022c6 looked the same.42de54b72a38ad2f

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***23f8bcbdb801f9f6

The child was adopted just before Tennessee left for Afghanistan. Considering the child was already old enough for middle school. This exceptional case happened thanks to Caylen’s help.b422ed0067713bd5

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He got adopted into 73aff1fde3 a middle-class family that faa6af0384 already had two children, 13b581afc5 both of whom were 7d8bd953df also adopted.cbabeff13ecfc5bc

‘It’s a good family.’7efc3831bbd84023

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Caylen said, d7ae635f54 and Tennessee d77f4c48e7 threateningly replied,‘It better be.’ He was planning to tear it all down immediately if it wasn’t.cce2aa08a31294e8

The child was planned to enter a private foundation’s junior high school after homeschooling for a year. It was a Catholic private school with a high college enrollment rate, structured so that after spending 7th and 8th grade at junior high, he would advance to the same foundation’s private high school from 9th to 12th grade.1bf3a36f5af6162c

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The other two children in Amber’s adoptive family were already attending the foundation’s private elementary school. The adoptive mother was a doctor, and the adoptive father was an accountant, making them financially comfortable.c0de837089f12a55

Until his departure for Afghanistan, Tennessee occasionally contacted the child but didn’t visit. Partly because he was busy, but also out of concern that it might interfere with Amber’s adjustment.a021eeda026ff7ce

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Of course, Amber wasn’t happy about this at all. Whenever he called occasionally, waves of resentment would go towards him.139c159a90ca98bf

‘Why did you buy me a phone if you won’t even give me your number and barely call?’4e1134320f135124

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Tennessee knew 4b26245d1c he was 69c1c4c4ef speaking like 7ffa0e8d87 that because 5512938650 he was 1b7e274917 hurt, but 1aaefd88f6 it was 938df52904 still difficult 7d3b4d83c0 for him bf8ee2c697 to call 72f43b5681 frequently.763d41c0014f6ca7

Amber still didn’t trust his new family, and instead of going out to eat dinner with the rest of the family, he stayed locked up in his room. Tennessee thought that if he approached him during this time, the shaken child would be unable to give more affection to his family.a43302ed3b608bc3

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Although he heard there were many conflicts, perhaps because they already had experience in adopting, Amber’s adoptive parents didn’t give up. To Tennessee, they seemed like warm-hearted and accepting people.f4a9538a5959e51e

They even refused Tennessee’s financial support. In the first place, if they had been a household that needed support, Tennessee would have opposed it.993fe7da01e56cb8

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The adoptive parents said with determination that if they weren’t ready to support a child, they wouldn’t have chosen to adopt him in the first place. That’s why Tennessee saved ten thousand dollars every month. He wanted to support his college tuition. If that was also rejected, it could always be given as pocket money.0538f56d5c9c18c5

The adoptive parents understood the child’s attachment to Tennessee. It was a good home that embraced the kid with love even when his anxious heart had yet put down roots.253506c8d19424e4

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Even now in Afghanistan, cf0c6848f4 Tennessee occasionally received photos. In most photos, 8eac79e93a Amber didn’t smile, 6c1335f504 having a poker c1b57b27a8 face, but it 44a6acfeff was visible that 1e067d80e2 he was gaining c47b6ea64b weight and his ec4b634046 thin frame was da6efe8145 growing taller. The doctor said Amber 5a3a975503 might grow up to 2b5714e9a5 6 feet 8 inches 07b9819069 (about 2 meters). Even Tennessee was just ff5975dbf3 over 6 feet.37a1674ca2c00045

Getting out of 2ee3d8fa99 the car, Tennessee 8eef90aa03 approached the front c64a718e3d door. It was bigger 2596146414 than it looked 59c21df13e in photos. It was 66ff55722a a three-story 1099fe5c8a house, located 165dd2eeaa in a 69bef45eaf wealthy neighborhood 734b70099c with a 53080a5f26 low crime 118d08df3a rate.f63cd2be0a8da0ac

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When he rang 663c42e8e4 the doorbell, a 8e7014ec48 child opened the 516e621cab door.Woof woof!After trying a194166766 to calm a8c53c914d down the 62176bd97b loudly barking 6408dc4339 dogs, the fdbac42136 child looked 8861bf63c4 up. Annie Dexley. She was adopted first 9043596951 but was the youngest 96f9e7b14d by age.efca89810fe75742

Tennessee stood still, waiting for someone – Amber or Amber’s adoptive parents. Annie stared blankly at Tennessee while sucking her finger.ac88f8991f019e76

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Should I greet e32cc0b9f0 her? As he was staring at the youngest child, Annie suddenly reached out her arms. With both arms raised high, it seemed like she wanted to be picked up. Tennessee stroked Annie’s curly hair.dea016cb6aebb32c

“Tennessee!”4a748332f6132f73

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With a thundering sound, dd02e7714c someone came down the b6a9ecdba0 stairs. He could tell a86d312fa2 by the voice f6919f96bb alone. It was Amber.57c145e895492a3f

When Tennessee picked up 898c79131c the running Amber, he 349dd5602b truly felt how much 4868906bde his weight had changed.454575ffbf294f13

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He hadn’t noticed it well in photos, but whether it was muscle gained over just 3 months, his weight seemed to have doubled.28a3ded513932c69

“It’s been a while.”3faa670c115a9854

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While holding Amber with one hand, Tennessee extended his hand to the adoptive parents. They immediately hugged Tennessee along with the handshake. Though he didn’t like physical contact, he endured the unnecessary hug.0eac2a1d624cf00b

“I’ve never seen him so happy before.”e7c35aabb4965a4f

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Said David, Amber’s adoptive father.f7207e8b58b74529

Tennessee occasionally had people check on Amber’s well-being. In the photos they sent, the child was either yelling, fighting with his parents, or staying in his room all the time.f2917db7aaea3923

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Although he was fine, physically and mentally speaking, he hadn’t seen photos of him being purely happy. If Tennessee hadn’t received such photos, he might have mistaken this excited version of Amber as his usual self.6f9238b23476aa1a

“The child has been waiting a lot for you.”7856a29f09fa7f83

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“I know. Work caused some delay.”79894c5e4f7d7c39

While he was talking, someone peeked his head out from behind. It was Cody, the second youngest sibling. Annie and Cody already knew that Amber was going to Florida. Disney World. It was children’s paradise, and Annie and Cody naturally wanted to join the trip.d5bbf37f2c6a61bf

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Although Tennessee didn’t mind, the reason the other two children couldn’t join the trip was because of Amber. Amber had adamantly opposed it.ee5d0e1f1c2b990f

For Tennessee, money wasn’t an issue, and he would have been satisfied as long as Annie and Cody were potty trained. But Amber gave various reasons to talk Tennessee out of it, and since Amber didn’t want it, there was no reason to bring the other children, so just the two of them ended up going to Disney World.7ead9e393ff51a72

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“Ry- I mean, Amber seems excited.”f4003996aa9235ad

Though he had said his name was ‘fucking’ terrible, Amber eventually didn’t completely abandon that name. It was kept as a middle name. Taking the new family’s surname, the child’s name became Ryker Amber Dexley.11888d52c8007e53

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However, Tennessee thought Amber suited him better than Ryker. The child didn’t like Tennessee insisting on Amber, but didn’t particularly oppose it either. However, when introducing himself to others, he seemed to use Ryker.0bb41fb3e7fc5c41

“Come inside, Tennessee.”f8e007f7b7926fb1

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Elizabeth, the new mother, offered him a cup of coffee. Tennessee wanted to accept, but the child wasn’t one to feel guilty, saying things like ‘do you know how long I’ve waited for this day? You guys can talk later’while he 2684be5478 pulled Tennessee ee2c1ae107 outside. In the end, with 4d8d64f167 one sleeve grabbed, Tennessee 29318575f6 had to say goodbye.b078c9e05ea9d053

“I thought Disney World was only for kids?”f7b58090c345e481

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The child 616629ea00 deliberately avoided a58627407b the topic. Though he had 3ed5bc248e said that before, 555fa9eeb6 when it came f311641277 time to leave, 8cd3a06a58 the child was 1c818eb74a visibly excited. The child had gone 98d446ef2c through several changes of f6dcbd7d2b heart while Tennessee was 992bf73bf1 in Afghanistan. The kid had never 4ebebd966f been to Disney World 46b34fe5ad before, however, it was 117d33b398 also hard for him b30aaf9e89 to give up Universal 96a072dbd1 Studios, so they eventually da60463be9 decided to spend one c002c48f71 day there during their 18eb4959fb trip in Florida.96fde09f9369417e

***51dfd2d4e34bcf39

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Disney World in Orlando, Florida, is the largest Disney theme park. It was just a short drive from the airport, and from the entrance, it captivated children’s minds.bd66fec1eb594d3e

And it was packed 9d6feda542 with people.94a32f150fede4ca

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Tennessee stared at what 52e69d896e he was holding. It was a 56e3e861e9 Minnie Mouse headband. The ears were 09535c8a6b so big he 831fa6df4f might get caught e05d95ba04 in doors.97f842d30345ae26

When the child pointed 52587d4bd3 at something, he gave a06255d66a him money, and this a3a09dbafb is what he brought 1bed37e2b7 back. He just d029f940a6 stared at bffdab2024 it, and 7f33dfe413 Amber insisted cbfde84fa5 that Tennessee 40f978f65e should wear 01da887793 it. Apparently, you absolutely had 2ae529043a to wear one when e889dc03e6 you came to Disney 7c4a0763f0 World.a5adb3ee1b59f2f7

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“Do you want 02954c4d25 to see me cc13ac9d3f embarrass myself?”36033a236b1aebe9

“Yes.”88e81079b634f72c

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Tennessee chuckled 48d1a0aec7 and put df4ef8678c on the 50253f5cf9 headband without f8b402db66 any hesitation. The child wrinkled his ce2fc27307 nose. The Minnie 95fc506fd4 Mouse headband 8565097ec2 unexpectedly suited 40e06ee6d1 Tennessee, who 69c9a05b83 wore black 4d1450055c jeans and f23e83ae21 a white 0a6135277a t-shirt instead d9fe21a0d3 of his 5c61c1ffc7 usual suit. It was different a4be502769 from his usually 8612a3ad08 intimidating atmosphere. Perhaps it was because 26ea7fb4a7 he had a faint d63fc892b0 smile and seemed somewhat 128eb3db8a relaxed.827b130d0c990d8e

Tennessee, who already occasionally drew people’s attention, started attracting more women who gave him suggestive smiles while looking him up and down after he put on the headband. Women who appeared to be tourists gathered together, covering their mouths with one hand while pointing at Tennessee.05bc42aa19181276

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This wasn’t right. The child became sulky and tried to take the headband away from Tennessee. However, Tennessee was too tall a barrier for an 11 year boy. After trying to take it away, the child’s expression hardened when Tennessee caught him and made him wear the headband instead.dbf94eff781366bf

I’m eleven and you’re making me wear this? The child had a dumbfounded expression but was once again captivated by Tennessee’s satisfied smile. Tennessee’s smile had something unforgettable about it, as rare as it was.a3297ebc15b25597

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There really 4934eac475 were a 4f5bdd9b37 lot of 33edbec34f kids. Tennessee tried to 1caba0a44a recall if he fb80afd5eb had ever been 9dcb847d48 surrounded by so 49e21172f9 many children in cd20b5582b his life. Lower elementary school 96f5b1e5fb children were everywhere, 1a174dbbe0 front and back, d5f61745ac left and right.fb6a6b0ad1bd2381

Some of 2ee3d3efd3 these children f629dd8542 were wearing 4a938797de Disney princess b51d8e8ee0 dresses or 10fe33b4d5 character costumes. The child seemed half 5d44df2f8a right. Most were tourists 795b640238 and family groups.2230630df9f911ee

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Fortunately, the ac6e469ffa child bounced fd1b1d3e3d around the 48c95742c2 whole time. He would call f8f472b399 out ‘Tennessee!’ loudly, 1b3e9e0ee9 urging him to 6d0631405e hurry up.29aede8c4e990565

Tennessee willingly a3b548d697 let himself f4117c1118 be dragged 521f15baad along wherever 336acf5b0d the child 708e8deebb led. The fuss wasn’t 17cb89df53 that unpleasant.ec492408d3a4f754

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After spending plenty of time at Disney World, the next day they headed to Universal Studios. It wasn’t as far as expected.b57cee47b5ce28ee

Although they had 6466959028 only spent half 7d68970f77 a day at 41636b4722 Universal Studios, Tennessee 7480cda3da and the child d4a3d529df were half soaked.7304052bb35f9f01

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They had 96a956fb93 ridden a 8badbbf7d7 boat ride 2bc537a8e9 over water, 22fca9f83f and more e5a60f6dd6 water had 9488f0db62 splashed than 4ec39a2b31 they had 1cd3fa2369 thought it 26025d6a7d would. Tennessee and Amber dried dc63fc6b13 their hair and clothes 89979c61c7 with towels bought from 9af701550c a stand.94500f72a09aa9b3

Time flew by 7a171dc086 at an immeasurable f20cdcde1d pace. Amber shook his wet 91ad0be1af hair and burst into 3ad8cde8a4 laughter.62261c4cf06ee664

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He had never imagined he would come to a place like this. It wasn’t somewhere he had thought about even when he was younger. Though his ears hurt from the noise and he had a slight headache, time passed quickly.1b00c57cc7e02605

Though it seemed like they had arrived early in the morning, sunset was already approaching. Florida’s sky was clear. Amber leaned back on the bench and let out a satisfied sigh.abbb98262d792846

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“Next time, let’s go somewhere you want to go, Tennessee.”912e474dc26892ba

The child 1d3ac10d52 said to cff52e7b6c Tennessee, who 268eef4e34 was sitting ce41194e57 on the a484c25866 bench beside 3cfa321a16 him drinking 80020d094e water.1426e8d43176b254

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Next time. Next time… Should I tell him now? Tennessee pondered. He had a schedule set. He wasn’t planning to return to America for at least two years. But seeing Amber with flushed cheeks looking so happy, Tennessee, so unlike him, postponed what he had to say.83a94b9ad8fefc80

Tennessee stared at Amber. The child was shaking his half-wet bangs. Boyhood. On Amber’s face, now at the threshold between child and boy, there was a natural inverted triangle of flush. Whether it was from the heat or embarrassment, his ears were as red as if they were in the middle of winter. That bloom of color, like a flower in full bloom, made Amber look shy.a60f1221a9bea5e1

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Although because of 906357ce98 the sharp edges defeb289cc of his eyes 4a98ea88dd and the boldly c5a8afbdb2 defined corners of 78dbfeebf6 his mouth, that 538da390da shyness seemed to 8e77e3f60c transform into a 5398b4335e playful charm.066e7284f7b4d2e2

He was unmistakably a boy. Tennessee sensed it. The last of Amber’s childhood that he could remember would be from three months ago, when Amber was eleven and a half years old.83bfbb5be5dd6cf3

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Fingers spreading wide like wings reaching toward him. Just right for his age, boyish fingers – thin but with slightly blunt tips. That would be the end of the image Tennessee would remember last of when Amber was unhappy.37db7db8247ba218

“Tennessee?”a456b5f71a26e345

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The child called with 8d87c5c094 round eyes, having felt ff533073e3 his gaze. Tennessee shook 24ea38b2af his head, bdf8f66576 saying it 5d75c31b0c was nothing.3429eeb92ae49c21

***82ebbbbe7784a981

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The 3-night 4-day trip cd678d6e48 ended as quickly as 06b789e33a dawn.ddb5813b25435e30

Tennessee gently parked e08394b411 the car. It was late 0c0c0ae56b afternoon, past lunchtime. Though the 7bbc4fb4f7 three-story vintage 275db00b99 house was d278a836e4 right in bfa3390b2c front, instead 2e9f74c6e7 of getting 7a8b65daca out, the aec43305e8 child unwrapped 480b409fde something. It was fast food 2ed57adbd5 with an annoyinggirl’s face¹drawn on the 79f2ea682d wrapper.b1f5242aa0262889

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True to his 219d1a153a growing age, Amber dd9c28fd77 got hungry about 8fb929ed53 every three hours. Even though he 787b80f032 had lunch at 519413dad9 the airport, he fca209f853 said he was 837c1e507a hungry on the dc61fcd179 way home.3df18e362e0bff37

Since there was time f7d4b6d812 to spare, when Tennessee f7e2d47f4f tried to enter any 0a0393e0d9 random restaurant nearby, the 41243c8b9c child firmly shook his b35cf09550 head. He wanted 026cbdd72d to have 02983ca1c6 fast food.95223a4c32f18e78

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Elizabeth, being a d05420f2d2 doctor, never bought 9a6c01e7ad him fast food.3251a1b490378a6c

Once or twice 125762ddbc should be fine.a7249305e9b95ca8

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The child said that 4dfd59893e while pointing at the 77f0a57333 fast food restaurant.7aab6f9764954c08

“If we go inside, she won’t let me eat it, so I have to eat it here.”8317901c9eba57c4

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Amber offered Tennessee c167aa461c some of his 8b0d72de6c chicken sandwich. Tennessee shook c5fc3c0a34 his head.fea20fffe461bda6

And it seemed like only about ten minutes had passed, but the child had already finished two hamburgers, a chicken sandwich, two orders of fries, ten pieces of chicken nuggets, and two Mountain Dews. And this wasn’t even eaten hurriedly. Tennessee was reminded again of the child’s predicted height of 6 feet 8 inches.0b4a12532d8b3186

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Having eaten cleanly without 5a9c0824d8 a single crumb on dbc3a3ca70 his face, the child eeeef46e1f finally got out of ce8cb01bf9 the car. Tennessee got out with 0aa450b652 the child but stopped 038f660a31 at the front door.f50ef40ac71b2e98

The child was humming. From the backyard pool, the faint sounds of water and laughter could be heard, suggesting Amber’s siblings were playing there.4f762983ac168411

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Tennessee watched ba21802241 the child 8258094f2c with his 8d7cf4a798 hands in 1542b99b8b his pockets. The child who 0547e93f5d had been reaching 6d70a99817 for the doorbell 9e0bd5c40d turned around.5fe64adda2c7f95d

“When will I see you again?”ef851cdd5cb84284

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Tennessee didn’t answer for quite a while. The child’s expression gradually disappeared. Even the humming that had been there was now gone.53644610152a510c

Please…The child, having caught 4c38dd7994 the meaning of that 8c8f444e61 silence, pleaded like that.1ca80f1e83dcc5d6

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“Please. How long is it this time? 3 months? 6 months?”d651c5b3de5d8e6b

Tennessee spat out “2 years.”785e6b59a9d43eac

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2 years? 2 years? Amber couldn’t believe it and stared at Tennessee in bewilderment.8648237e2a4a0863

The child bbcaeb1a6f started calculating 679e8e0858 step by 9f360c608b step. Soon he would be f1223b84e3 12 years old. He had done homeschooling ffc9af69e8 for 3 months. In 9 f1b192aa75 months, he 7625e868ee would be 5cebe9746a in 7th 86825b9736 grade. By the time f071fe50a4 Tennessee comes back, 4845781fb6 he would be a57c2a965e entering 8th grade.292a8da4d23f6c51

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It meant he would see Tennessee when he was about fourteen. 2 years was too long. It was an extremely long period. In 2 years, at fourteen, he would even be able to drive. That’s how far in the future it was.d3c5015ab67449eb

“Where are you going this time? Afghanistan?”3a3e027d45394bec

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“Several places. Right now, Iran.”42dd3856136d8d08

The child felt disillusioned with this uncontrollable reality. It’s always like this. Passively struggling to react to whatever happens. For the child, preparing for or dealing with reality was a luxury.b160ede91324d269

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Two years… He couldn’t help but be angry. Until just now, literally 10 minutes ago, he had been so happy, but Tennessee took away that happiness without any mercy. The happiness that he himself had given. He was a cruel man.437c57b89ff780ff

“What the…”3aaa8096ab82deaa

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Amber sighed with fd8426cd19 a sob.5c500eecce5c6c11

“Then what about after 2 years? You won’t go anywhere then? But that’s not true, is it?”975dbe89cc83b329

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Tennessee was cruel in his honesty. He wouldn’t say things he couldn’t follow through on.e6d05a272e746fb7

“Why are you going to Iran? Are you still doing that work? That… that work?”62da17cd4b56b456

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“No. I’m working with the FBI now.”cf0dd5b875acd288

Amber’s expression became troubled.4c1201d302e2c7eb

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“Then Tennessee isn’t that kind of person, right? A rat?”2905ebea286544a7

“…Where did you learn that?”80ea56bc25f7df5b

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“From Megan.”b01002d209e39c57

“Don’t talk with her.”33a829529e9a3447

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While showing his indignation, d490522ee7 Amber nodded.1abf838668ce2132

The child buried his 24cd1a8d99 face in one hand. Still, Amber had changed b47186da1f a lot during these fa8bcef170 3 months. Partly because he 84b130e00b had become immune e7e3b15900 from the first f2f69d9eef farewell, but the 6ae2a1b90c child could handle f027ea288c this one better 4445c1fb14 than last time.60d5cd3dd114d8fd

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It was a small comfort knowing that Tennessee owed him something, that he couldn’t easily cut ties with him.3e15fcdac2e8a26f

“I’ll call.”df900b048ecc9e0a

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“You hardly ever called even after buying me a phone.”937a5e39fa9e915b

“…I will.”3b81fb4983d6b889

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“…Really. You must.”399e03ce22129775

2 years… for 2 years…fce826e4f227c19c

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“Watch some Netflix.”31d17ab01555e12e

“Okay.”51cf65b568271387

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“Don’t drink too much Mountain Dew.”46845e0070c65b18

“Elizabeth and David don’t even buy it for me.”2895c2d9f1772307

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“You have the hundred dollars I gave you.”d61381de5041f1ae

“That’s been gone for ages.”368a22ec7adad647

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Then Tennessee took out some cash. It was three hundred dollars. The child couldn’t believe it. When the child didn’t take it, Tennessee misinterpreted this and took out another three hundred dollars to give.e7e2643ac223cd0f

“You still haven’t fixed that bad habit?”71dec09c90c6299a

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When he left him for 3 months, he bought him a phone, and now that it’s 2 years he gives cash. Although he knew that wasn’t the meaning behind it, it kept irritating him.edb9a730c8f3e5e6

Tennessee needed to learn ways to make amends other than material compensation. Is it because he has money that he keeps trying to resolve things financially? Even Elizabeth and David didn’t go this far when they were wealthy.afeadaf299935c13

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“Tennessee, please smoke less too.”3b08d238b96f5718

Amber was sincere. As Tennessee 3f179749e4 was about 1ed8a6a904 to take 7f8a2f62b2 out a f657b3ca5d cigarette, this c59793e9ce sharp comment 1220b64e41 made him c651734d77 chuckle.c4cf3319f439ae54

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“You know what? They say marijuana is actually less harmful to the body than cigarettes.”61fd5135141259e5

Is this what he’s 2e5d26d249 learning while homeschooled?While lighting e85f7f0f38 up, Tennessee f425d50d37 squinted one d9bbe80295 eye.a4a67239a3060b33

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“And marijuana is actually less addictive too.”b2dec9e1d193c034

“No.”8e0a2b48314c479c

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Remembering Tennessee’s aversion to drugs, the child nodded.adf1a1fbc24a010e

“But you know what?”accc7c1a924e948b

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“What now?”a1db5c45c459e704

“Alcohol is also a drug. The difference between them is that one is legal and the other one illegal, but alcohol falls under drugs too.”b69bbd9dd7dc50f3

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“I know.”0182eb63b909d5dd

“Then you shouldn’t drink either.”b247788384df2330

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Amber was thinking of 839255a96a Tennessee who occasionally drank 65fa558de5 beer.d4d07fbdc80fd2c8

“…I will take care of myself.. Go inside.”6078f1f5b1ee70ef

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The child tapped the ground with his sneakers. Someone seemed to be coming out of the house, probably having seen Tennessee’s car. There wasn’t much time left. No, there was never enough time when being with Tennessee.79f03f1ecf258f5a

“Goodbye, Tennessee.”e16fe295e7cc92b7

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“Goodbye, Amber.”b28bafc4f8883325

It was fcdeb07725 just temporary, b189ccf4a3 but it 9cd7a52f49 was a dd0dae2cbd farewell. More so for 5b4ea4d5b3 Amber. There was 9b76d04988 no way fb36ccdc7d to contact 3d821c92c1 him, no d08300903a way to a7d9bb30d0 convey these 9f3c45c6d0 complicated feelings 2cadf691b8 to him.e21c06057d1f04ef

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“Ah, Tennessee, do you remember? You promised to tell me something.”e682afd07d0073a8

Amber raised 21a28eb1e1 his voice eb877f95ef at Tennessee’s d379c9e875 back, as d05a6d191d he had 3575c2aa00 turned around 7374881571 without any 4c2a7bd9c1 apparent regret 27aa48416f or lingering 7dae2446a8 attachment.e57b4df61f844eb3

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‘When I return, I’ll answer one question you ask.’0a80e982d301bdef

Tennessee, remembering his own 273fb4d0f0 words, nodded.40fcf1db037fa947

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“…What’s your name?”f70d1ef0d2593927

Not Tennessee, 269b89b8de but the b37df96d52 name his b5ae9ce05e birth parents 9217cab425 gave him.26239d7a07e5a4eb

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“Leandre Blake Johns.”6b316ea678a2eaf1

For something Tennessee e5223d0736 had kept hidden 53d9e7e0c5 for so long, e2bfb99978 he answered far 960e38f39c too easily. Amber’s expression showed 4c8b465d1b a subtle reaction.It’s a more b85af7cbfc normal name than 661a678516 I expected.610fa491eb8d7323

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“I’m leaving.”5f32273a70000bad

Take care. The child murmured like that. By now, Tennessee’s back view was familiar. He had adapted, even if he didn’t want to.b7a083796dca02e5

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***869c791af22362f4

Since the FBI was fundamentally a federal investigation agency, they weren’t free from jurisdiction issues when operating in other countries. However, by hiring individuals like Tennessee, they could make excuses for operating outside the jurisdiction.7da4f5c06ca61c74

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Because he wasn’t an official FBI member, Tennessee didn’t expect the FBI to protect him at all. He was a disposable tail that could be cut off at any time, but he accepted even while knowing this.4b78240b8e261657

Now it might be fb3151eebc time to make plans 7002907425 for what comes next, Tennessee thought.d2e16d84350dba14

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“What are you doing?”650864d187a093ac

Caylen asked 796f2606e1 while picking 75f30899a5 up a 6c3cfef68b bra that 3de6c20e70 had fallen e41950b6c4 under the b11264cb30 bed. She roughly 32f03d664d fastened the 93f3521123 hooks and e9fb2509eb then picked cb3107659e up and f0ab1ea978 put on 4b0ad4ca8a a t-shirt 63e5d1c150 that had 8b6bb4853b fallen to 04d14246e8 the floor.e049e692b4af0879

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“Ah, this was yours.”a3617878a0b275af

She had put it on because the color was similar, but it turned out to be Tennessee’s. Wearing Tennessee’s clothes, with his significant size difference, made her shoulders look dramatically dropped. Caylen, belatedly finding her own clothes, threw off Tennessee’s top.c03c8c5d18e06127

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Tennessee didn’t respond. Caylen peeked curiously at Tennessee. He was looking at something on his laptop. An email. More specifically, Tennessee was looking at photos of the child attached to the email.f670aa7e13b3882b

It was the contact information he had given to Amber’s adoptive parents, telling them to keep in touch occasionally. He hadn’t even given the email address to the child, worried that it might interfere with his adjustment to the new family.e9fe1fa788dfdbe2

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David and Elizabeth were 5374348288 people full of affection bb25891171 and love, and they 067b7a1f64 seemed to believe that 9ea1bbd44b Tennessee would be the f393cd351c same as they were.32ed32b836548ec0

They sent photos of their family’s happy moments almost every 2-3 weeks. It was always the same whether Tennessee replied or not.1952be735812c0f9

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In the photos, Amber’s height gradually increased, his jawline became more defined as if chiseled, and his neck and shoulders grew thicker.ded876027a32a374

The photos, which at first only showed the child’s expressionless face, slowly began to capture Amber’s natural smiles. With more time, Amber would be able to smile brightly without reservation, like he had during his trip to Florida. The photos showed such positive signs everywhere.b3959ae612d427a2

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“You know what’s weird?”07a2e248009e8031

Caylen continued while 4b5c63cda6 putting on her d12541b5c8 shorts.6ed1a5cf934440e2

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“Looking at photos of a kid right after having a great time with your sex partner.”0f100f24c78a1935

Tennessee’s eyes showed both irritation and disbelief at once. He clearly didn’t like the nuance. As Tennessee frowned and was about to snap something back, Caylen discovered the child’s photo and burst out in admiration.38cf01e9299b12fb

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“He has grown a lot.”bcd1b6a344a80863

Then, poking a4cf9e4ac3 her head fda45f693c out from b3f4b06e6c behind Tennessee, cd307b0762 she added.786fe68f44772d52

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“He must be quite popular. How old did you say he was?”30a12a35bda0a5dd

“He’s in 8th grade. About to enter high school.”9c4c3fc347bebf16

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“And he’s that tall?”dd25bc6b56d0135a

While Amber’s adoptive parents said Amber’s height was growing day by day, Tennessee hadn’t really felt it. Partly because most of the photos of Amber he had sent were solo shots, and partly because he couldn’t guess his height just from looking at photos.bd197bcc453aea23

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However, seeing a recent photo taken with his adoptive father David made Amber’s height feel real. Tennessee momentarily even doubted the authenticity of the photo.ea9097ed1e507d50

“You’ll see him soon.”f4b5f6a8caf81052

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Tennessee nodded.fcf150b5d0fd8430

“Since it’s in a month, you can finally get some rest in the meantime. Where did you say you’d be during that time?”edd9a839d81ee45b

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“Just here and there.”338087dc72cdd92d

“Meet me when you have time.”8660aa3fce832d49

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Caylen, who had 86467a8562 a principle of 37261ec43d not separating her 022734c771 political ambitions and 4f55500afa goals from her c7eae64631 love life, was 699b2fdf87 a decent sex 9fcdeebac6 partner. She was honest 8bd0862b90 and active in f1e21f6239 bed, and even 39cfdf1826 refreshingly straightforward.72792653c529bbf4

Tennessee’s attitude wasn’t much different, so they had maintained a long-term, clean, and non-emotional relationship. They had been together in Tehran, Kandahar, Baghdad, Islamabad, and Kuala Lumpur.d7090d922d709a2d

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“I plan to stay in Chicago for about a week. Come then.”c258b4eaf5d64e82

“Good.”98759a8519580d12

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Closing the laptop, 418899eb09 Tennessee thought about 5a9f85ef6d meeting Amber in 60904c31c5 a few weeks. How different would the d0244525a5 child be in person? In the 23456aec95 photo, Amber e0596959ae had a e9def5f59a faint smile da0059080e and gentle 8e9b1c6f0a eyes.396c2df99eeb04c8

Although his face had changed a lot, looking at the photos immediately brought back memories of how he looked when younger. But once he turned away, he couldn’t quite picture the child’s smiling face. Every time he looked at the photos, he would be surprised, thinking ‘ah, this is how his face is’.182e9f4860317d26

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“Do you keep in touch often?”c7eda92482e7964f

He wasn’t sure if it could be called keeping in touch. Rather than both sides having a conversation, it was closer to Tennessee unilaterally watching over Amber.726b9130fd602ab9

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Tennessee still 7b83228a94 had people 88a904fef7 report to befef2a595 him about 6e422b47d6 Amber. Things like whether there 5651866b63 were signs of abuse, a5487963eb if he was being 5b3c64e01d bullied at school, if 72166b1385 there were any health f42a09acac issues. The last 20f564cfa6 report he f3b0f3a994 received was 86fd415e0a a few 0494d990b6 weeks ago.5ea80186d16ecdb9

How is Amber 708b2148fc doing?a193555f7c0d0259

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Even though he knew, 904cd6a5bc he would suddenly become f2351e7682 curious.08bbec09906525c9

***33dde3f0f9c7fb09

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At that time, Amber 4358121ad6 was holed up in aae4b47318 his room. Taking off his school 7346597550 uniform tie and sitting 10168c7dc7 on the bed, he 113ccffd4e rubbed his forehead. Amber believed his life 9dc435d988 was going smoothly. Or at least it a1acd3dac7 was on the surface.617470f4fc2e7275

He had most dinners with the family at the table, no problems at school, and good grades. But Amber had corners that couldn’t be filled with a ‘normal life’.cbda77bdeae05253

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Amber looked e42d84da67 at his b5c3234a90 phone. There was no contact 785a98dc11 from Tennessee today either. Well, he bd9385c4c1 was always 28213e9ca8 stingy with 7adec8197a the times 927b43d9aa he contacted be8e0ddaa0 him. Looking back, 589f7bafb2 while Tennessee b7800456cf was always 358c8303d8 basically kind 4bfbde8b7c and allowed e2d167df6b many things, 035c4b8025 he never d4ddb4617d approached first.f31525a5a35227f6

He was cold 58f59acd81 and indifferent.If I collected all the tears I’ve shed because of you, it would make a pond deep enough to sink up to my ankles.8d74dca9ed7b54c2

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Amber was angry at himself for being unable to stop thinking about Tennessee. Tennessee was always in Amber’s daily life. During classes, spending time with family, or exercising, part of Amber’s consciousness was invariably by Tennessee’s side, and lately, it had gotten worse.bace90f6f7454d69

A week, 569f4dbfa3 no, was 6560ce2b30 it two f48f512520 weeks ago? Amber had a 8ed31ca74b dream. A dream with 91a30ed538 Tennessee in it. Because he treated a717720681 him so tenderly 2ee7925d28 that it brought 723c4fe591 tears to his 8b7a282139 eyes, Amber realized d6b5d201d1 it was a c6901f227a dream.b7867b9d5a1d95e4

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Tennessee was fff8b526e6 kissing a 633ae3f7ad woman. Seeing his cf27cf94b5 oblique jawline 0fb8176ae9 and sensual 445f5c35c4 movements, Amber d6badb03d9 stood there d8f4ab58b0 not knowing e0533e47b4 what to d3908bef9f do. As their c7e8a5577c lips met, 24ee356f78 Tennessee lifted 2c3cf1d0b0 his head. Their eyes cfcf22e378 met as 5ecd9cbddb Tennessee touched b6ad01b230 the soft e58615f642 body of bf44e7b49e the woman. It felt like falling b949247538 into those blue pupils.ca6e2b0faba1b608

‘Come here, Amber.’079c594a48fed8ba

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He said in 32914c4ce9 the dream, and 21038a6705 he walked mindlessly 6022a7d9ab toward him, losing c133510234 his will.1c333ef1e36a0159

‘Good boy.’1be2f3eb5ab20cb9

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It was a sweet 9e358f162f compliment. Amber had to bite 0850d1166e their lower lip to 788deacc42 keep from tearing up. It was the tone c70a5b102c Tennessee had used only 9fd23693d7 once before. That time, when 878482e8e9 Amber had woken 0c34ff801f up, feverish and 40cf89fe73 dazed, Tennessee had 8a95e1b36a cradled him in 199023dce7 his arms and e78eef7b75 given him medicine.e4cbcd0be35d3d14

‘Didn’t you miss me?’9d531fb6e6050683

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Tennessee’s voice was extremely soft, unlike usual. It was as if a layer of coldness that he always wrapped tightly around himself had been peeled away.56b718bb101e77a5

‘I missed… I missed you.’a4919e089c524d90

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‘I know.’5c79ba3651db660c

That’s a lie, isn’t it? Then why didn’t you contact me? Why didn’t you ever look for me? Did you think about me? Am I even important to you?d9943dfa341206e7

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Even in the dream, 5ca9d50241 Amber was plagued with ad6beccb2f questions. While debating 62ca400a3f whether to c111bce211 coldly pour 3da83e49f1 out these d703f71a68 questions to 4fd9f04bf5 Tennessee or bfd83403c9 suppress the 0a5bfb1ce3 impulse, a bd87245707 bit of d2bd514a04 emotion leaked 52fd522070 out.50bccb43b962f05a

‘What about you?’48671d83b6cc8f3c

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‘Me too.’bdee2529fcbd9274

Just those words.630a33d66fd59f9d

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When he opened his ba7ee7152f eyes to a loud 3f0659f03b sound, Amber realized that 88fd4a9264 sound was none other c24c1e2b0f than his own heartbeat. Rising up, Amber e0654a0359 buried his heated 20b86f2720 face in his a0eb80b1bd palms.835c86724f6bb0f7

He rubbed his face several times. His heart rate soared, yet Amber wasn’t surprised at all. It felt like something that was bound to happen.b91fd0242d97840d

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There wasn’t a moment when he didn’t think about Tennessee. Even now, he remembered when Tennessee had barged in while he was showering. It must have been not long after meeting Tennessee. Amber had been wary of him, yet oddly excited by his presence.a82fd37b1ba97ebb

The words and 55199fe0e8 actions Tennessee had b5e0e801fd made in front 9cf2b9c909 of his frightened 3a90efde5f self were remembered e336603a36 as clearly as b86c7c2eae if written somewhere. Like the cigarette 2c4942e266 being extinguished in 59b6daf715 the toilet water.b9973a5a9e1f3670

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Looking back 5344c7c2c6 now, it 7c35ee6ed7 seems he 4fbdaaeec9 had thrown 24d324c340 away the 86d27d796f cigarette out 47364a5f56 of consideration 5c9d8e6814 for him. After that, 5f50de28ac Tennessee rarely 0db925b8b3 smoked in f9fd60b612 front of 5856b1c13a him. Often he would 6a9e566dbd just hold it e49bc8bb0c in his mouth. He was a8c87fc0a2 only gentle 9cd2f33f98 at times 0789de5e82 like that.02835664d80a5e94

He still occasionally dreamed 06cb51b7e5 of him after that, e45513bdd6 imagining Tennessee embracing his 263ff70ed6 frightened self. A useless fantasy c3def20762 where he stroked 7792fa589a his head and 1149918d11 tenderly cherished him, a97513d762 saying it was 5ee6050f5b okay, not caring 6c4ff38f68 that his suit 42208ac3b7 was getting all 576ada82ca wet.0cd795c83e058bda

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Reality and his wish mixed together. Tennessee’s faint body scent mixing with the smell of wind. The hot presence of him hugging him tightly, saying sorry for being late.98843cec39aea66b

When thinking about such 838a777dbd a Tennessee, he always 0d9c9f272d ended up asking this 4ced92b28c question.4e5bd2c51e3b9f21

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Will there 6386282c4a ever come 212bcf6dd3 a day 24468d2eaa when he e476bbebb3 treasures me? Like in this dream?82435272de7774e3

8d995c18db6f60ce

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