EMP Chapter 19

Ugh, it’s 3433925ddb so cold. The annual cold a49f1a68dc snap during the d11bc6d88b college entrance exam 700c3a2875 season didn’t miss 193a16a21f its mark this ed584c899b year either. How could the 980897bf10 weather get this 985c2e4526 freezing just because fcc92c4ca1 the Suneung is 6742965cca coming up? I’m already a78f984d87 freezing to 83ef08a993 death now, dcaa965200 and I’m b62d62d9dd worried sick aec75c11a8 about what’s 60fad923e5 to come.405ff8dbadb028ea

I clutched 895896b6dd a rapidly d2be8f44cc cooling hand 461c147c2a warmer in 0ff5f1ea95 my hand 414ac02a89 and shook 92ef1dd83e it vigorously. It had already done fc1dede52c its job and wasn’t aa1898512b emitting any more heat. Even so, 9159dc545f I didn’t 103d19ffa0 throw it 3d47bdcef2 away but 45a0d0e6bb tucked it 21892145c6 back into d5a1d4e08d my pocket, 7ad57b5c4b holding onto 28adc9e7ff it tightly.199241babab9d074

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Some items 4f7dcd4d6d have value f366b5581d simply by 133eb2e637 existing, and 4cf1105449 this hand 24fca0a8ce warmer was 631852ba19 one of eb5a9521f6 them. Just holding 98d6a3ed53 it in 6a7823ab99 my hand e285761a77 made me 44a4ab80ae feel oddly c398bed1a9 reassured.54d6f50d5e564465

I had arrived early 651951f369 in the morning to 30ff3ccfd9 reserve a spot at bbcc595367 the library. On my 7ba77874fb way back ea99e36143 after lunch, 323175db0c I spotted f101196b95 people aimlessly ee14de45d1 wandering with 65c49489c0 their bags f9ac2a3229 slung over 3f7dd15094 their shoulders, d09a54cac6 and I 8a82586df3 couldn’t help 799ab9ae25 but let a9e44b6c86 out a 2f4042d32a quiet giggle. Serves them right! I smugly thought 30b85b9c9c to myself, knowing 3925710008 I had a d5945ab881 seat waiting for a52027cea6 me. Of course, I wouldn’t 19b086cd3b say that out loud. With a 1c5b93d7f0 brisk pace, 2fc077c80d I headed 5dc583a786 toward the 330fb9dc42 building entrance c968df10aa when it 84fd66ad59 happened.b87aff8ee85306e3

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“Hey, you.”1248a4a2556433fa

A cocky, low-pitched voice a2a79b22bd called out. I didn’t ca798dd832 bother turning 19be7cc09e around. First, the voice fe9c3861f2 was unfamiliar, and 3a49f4f7ad second, there was b32e787ca1 no reason for 72125ac36f anyone to call 403895180f out to me f85cf2fa75 here, even if 131aa44c5a the back entrance 680f94ddcc of the library e247ff9ce6 was relatively deserted. So, I simply kept 2741a4df11 my hand tightly wrapped 2eb282dd79 around the hand warmer 3233c8f250 in my pocket and a5f598a2a8 quickened my steps.2a383a544ae52952

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But the 15e461693c arrogant, threatening 6c10cf30b1 voice came 916f9b4fa2 again almost 4ad711b202 immediately.792c7111ac8b33ab

“You ignoring me? Hey, the one cfdb7d81ff in the light 8148ea1b6a blue jacket. Yeah, you.”7b549adb6e9b4989

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“……”3a810c4c713d3b12

The hairs on 7967a98b0d the back of 2baf3c3f4f my neck stood d2e358e60f on end. No way, fcf2afe480 in a 7eb20da69c secluded place efba5ad4db like this, 1d8de2cbe0 with a 4d1d72eedb voice like 5f78bba0b1 that… it 0fc16fd6a8 had to 5c4cee40df be a 1986253386 bully. A delinquent! What the hell 1285bd3441 was a bully cd6defbfb9 doing at the d298371195 library!?3ae0b1119881a80c

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I couldn’t even a46879df5e muster the courage 4702f381ad to turn around, 996cc8c162 frozen stiff where 87e304fe95 I stood. The building cbb6c53250 was just 57ba495844 one step 86e38c843f away, but 3139415f2b I couldn’t d6d3bd723f take that 1abcbef514 step. I stood 0c684b7ffa there trembling, 66e94c188a paralyzed.217c314f9ec8d85d

Mom, I’m scared! I’m sixteen, and I d31a79e100 don’t want to get 8d4be137ac shaken down for money 7ba2060328 by a bully! Besides, isn’t this f9d375f11d the kind of a530016a7a thing that lands 7498763bc2 you in the 7a701227a2 police station these 7f963a5fe4 days? While I 1d88afa4ef was silently 3b12c46d5d crying out 3656b61b5a in despair, 6cd67a3349 I heard 82c9b50a30 footsteps crunching 1c03218eff on the b697574341 gravel, getting fe099dd64d closer and b42078ac17 closer behind 6aeeedb52b me.6239cc6ea45427fc

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“You’re really not going b81a52a7ab to answer me, huh?”b6a4a70426151398

“WAAAH!”cfff5390810862f5

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The boy, f502a8c666 who had 788acb06a7 approached in 195cfe804b an instant, 07bc34b313 spoke from f8091f8197 directly behind 0423f5b8fa me, his 3f7b272dab voice dripping c32f8ba319 with derisive 14134fb093 laughter. A chill 694d70b6a9 shot down aa1d85259d my spine 3837b2c119 from the 8f2a4bb423 nape of 3b3f0a6b7e my neck 4604991020 to my 348654b3d0 toes. I was so b10c48d442 startled that my c1186a0baf heart gave a 6253b7a5fb small, shocked thud, deacc1df86 and I ended 0034fb3c37 up spinning around 00b81f8aa6 and jumping back 39253b7107 in alarm.8e6d926886715d36

“……!”6b1de80284eecd0c

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“Cute. Huh? You look just 698073b7f5 like a little a7bbd2f49f fox.e11722a11be2d06d

Our eyes met. The boy 550f2e3e09 grinned as 7743d15ded if he 557412a9aa had been c3ef9d5e16 waiting for 1359509e41 this moment. A refreshing, perhaps mischievous 48eb487f5e smile spread across his 79af317fd8 lips as he suddenly 4c4897ef4c grabbed my wrist. In the blink of be283a39f5 an eye, he pulled cd73a9136b me close, slinging his 1444356d48 arm over my shoulders. His actions left aaf47baf8f me stiff and f3fbf53f85 frozen in place. When his weight f1058da252 shifted onto me, 011037da97 my body, still 67db446845 in shock, naturally 4b916a028b tilted forward.da658340aeb7dc33

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“Hey, if anyone comes, just act like we’re friends. Got it? If you snitch, I’ll hunt you down and beat you to a pulp, so keep that in mind.”419c5409c5f40f48

“Y-Yes!?”803f62003531acb6

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The boy 36a96d85db had a 63dd4732aa strikingly handsome 431fc6c0dc smile. …Although the 9a9f663dfe content of 76815bc7fb his words 2c6a43c398 was miles 78273c3c2b apart from d96edef450 his fresh 3c5b694d2f and charming 000b5ea513 face, the 5c44bf6566 smile itself f684267cbc was dazzling. I managed b666d7a5d3 to steady 4e07ef99a0 my racing c2215a40a8 heart. Handsome or not, I 1a3fe22625 was terrified. With tears welling 3f7e5ce862 up, I shouted 0e35ae67b1 in desperation. Even if 6a966308ad it made d9cf99fdea me seem e570460e71 pathetic, I 6c871c7cdc had no 35ae15eb2c choice.9ff63f2eebc871d3

“I-I don’t have any money! R-Really, I don’t!”f28913fa5d00d78c

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“Ah, this little idiot… Hey, shut up. I said shut up!”561373563ed0417d

The echoes of my 75bdf54100 frantic voice bounced off a48b901835 the three-sided walls of d0ec6f0a68 the parking lot, amplifying ce580cd53c the sound. The boy’s smile 144ca8f786 disappeared in an 19779f82cd instant, replaced by f229f34093 a deadly glare 9a2ec27a93 as he barked 1078ee8d28 at me. It was astonishing how 3e8ce2dad9 quickly his expression could 380bbd960b shift. A chill ran up 430bdb2701 my cheeks.0de87d4a31e15a8f

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Even after scolding me, 0ec7cd9abf he glanced around cautiously, 4b7cc442a7 so it wasn’t like 5a1995ea1e he was entirely oblivious c8960c13b3 to his surroundings. But still, couldn’t 31a7f128cb he just leave ecd1ba53e8 me alone and 8a3c86f594 go away? I silently prayed.e3d181a3011e3df1

Then suddenly, 1c8c5c49d4 his arm 503b3bea54 around my e5b86c1e93 shoulders tightened.a0d3434ac4360404

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“Gasp…”c1f574886e1e1587

“Shhh… It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m not gonna hit you. Look, I’m just bored because I brought some dumb junior here to study, alright? If you can just help me out a little, we’ll both be fine. Got it? All I need is enough to hit up the PC bang, nothing more, nothing less.”08f2649862045fe9

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I don’t know! I don’t care! Why are you da8f90c1e8 even saying all 0c26ddd43b this to me? It’s none 8d08cf281c of my ed5e84d127 business!6143d75ebffe185b

My internal 46aa9dc36b screams went 6fb9f83459 unheard. The delinquent dragged me 37632c35f1 to a secluded corner 14891031e2 of the library’s parking 83113d0334 lot. As I 5023fcba1d was pulled 91a2ffbb77 along, both de76a8c12e my hands—one 9de9ca2db0 clutching a b2df74292d hand warmer 381c83bed6 and the c11afef678 other gripping 8a124d96dd my phone—grew 1d29b90cb1 damp with c58efdbb49 sweat. Sticky sweat trickled between e0021bb095 my fingers.30cddbe6c0a7c98a

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Maybe my trembling seemed e08747f778 pathetic because, at some a0a44210cc point, the boy looked 2ff8a30891 down at me and 9446af9350 chuckled. I pretended bd25740aad not to 56ef97ce2a notice, though f79e7c5474 it only 7776be8582 made me 597e70f43a feel more 4c55de1eaf humiliated.3a412df61e511207

Ah, geez. I’m so sorry for 0924e9cdbe mocking all of you cf2d2d27da who didn’t have a 57a26f4c50 seat earlier. Could someone, anyone, 08bd91ba55 please come out 9a4a5fba0d to the back 45c9a78528 entrance? Just one person, please? As I nervously glanced 3d95a6fe4e at the corner of e06b56ddc6 the building, hoping someone 3b964ff03d would appear, the boy 107e588280 stepped into my line fc64f6609b of sight with a 6fdffd07ab sly grin. He looked b02363b03b like something 266932228a straight out 70c738eb25 of a f095adf9f4 horror movie.0c9e89ce4806929f

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“Let’s cut to the chase, alright? How much do you have?”823baf512e6e732b

“N-Nothing! I really don’t! I just went out to grab some food!”68793dca3202cb9e

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“Oh, really? By the way, do you know something?”51606ff644daca22

The boy slowly 0dae4d67c3 approached, grabbing both e7adad920d of my pockets 81e0f40ffb where I had 4acaddce25 my hands stuffed.5e0f3bb1cc5c061f

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“Let me enlighten you since you seem clueless. These days, it’s not like one hit for ten won or a hundred won anymore. You just get beaten up however much we feel like it, every time we feel like it.”bea856d5d5ce35e5

“W-Why are you doing this to me…?”1411e5620752d4ea

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All I did was 21d562ffb1 stop by a convenience 6cea04aa42 store for a quick 89e35327d1 meal. I wasn’t prepared to f1a6fd0bdc face this kind of 56eae01438 ordeal. His grip on my 75753715ef hands was too strong. Out of fear, d8b1c99164 I reluctantly pulled 9aa84f6382 my hands out 52508b1a46 of my pockets.d203c6de0c9b8533

In one hand, 71410f547c I had a 8fb6c239b7 tightly clenched hand 83bdc73f66 warmer. In the other, 349b6ad6d6 my phone. The boy’s face 3d169a971a gradually twisted into 57dc866ca3 a scowl before 7320bfc985 he smirked and 7b76611b4e spoke with a 8d0bc4b37f mocking tone.6ea5d0cc9168db1b

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“Really, you’ve got nothing on you?”1ae547559ca75316

“I told you, I don’t! I’m really broke! I can’t even afford a private study room, so I just come to the library!”cf049eaccb4c3dca

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It was 4ab134b200 a lie. But at this moment, 4b9133d56b I needed to emphasize 750184ecf7 as strongly as possible efe5fdcee5 that I had no 9f6c38dcbb money. The boy e71d7eda8a looked down 3a2b919336 at me 695e3fbbb7 with an c59bc20ba9 incredulous smirk. His gaze 08d3e5a932 swept over d353212267 me from 5c2f200da7 head to c9c973ee93 toe, clearly 4833b3ffc1 assessing if e09f6105aa there was 0fa78855ec anything worth 33715e6ac9 taking.f15e1582e1077055

He spat f649b7b837 on the 65bd617691 ground, then f0fb974bd5 yanked the 05757fa812 hand warmer 90de072077 right out ce9f245647 of my e24690f53d grasp.e196978a8ed2ff8f

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“Hey, hey!”987b06ec1b14b9c6

“What the hell? Why are you carrying around something that’s already cold? Damn, it’s freezing, and this thing’s completely useless.”21b750d50e6d557b

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He tapped my head 942cc57cfe lightly with his index 6a1a3e8426 finger as he spoke. I was fc99e5e7ac still too 6b2b7bd8e2 tense to 847506f7a0 respond properly, 41dddd17c6 my shoulders 0a227468f1 hunched, my 4510769b42 gaze fixed d44cc5a899 downward. Despite that, I secretly c2c027bc94 scanned his appearance from fc2dcec8c9 top to bottom.ae482bf4b56da144

The internet’s infamous “spine breaker” was right here in front of me. A pricey red down jacket hung loosely over his upper body, paired with snug black pants below. And on his feet? White three-stripe slides. Seriously, no wonder you’re cold wearing those.cbb33d28cdfcaf30

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I could fd85a5dc07 feel his 5de635276f eyes boring 468fc33fa6 into the f6d6310cd0 crown of 48db51ad97 my head.16cd79f2664eba42

“A guy who says he’s out for food but claims to have no money? That make sense to you?”f531d2f3c493fe50

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“My mom gave me exactly 2,000 won today to buy ramen and kimbap….”631f23d0265a64c9

“Are you kidding me? Who the hell walks around all day with just 2,000 won?”d1b4806a11b16e95

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“Uh… me….”f20655cc0b8a20de

“This little punk, huh? You’re really something.”bb783b121dc819f6

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For the record, 611d8fd2fb having only 2,000 c54a3ebb22 won on me e73bba543f was the truth. The rest dd49e91711 of my a267833160 money, including 036eed292d my wallet, e2598b5e5f was back 9f528de59f at my 82a8e2cd14 seat in 0b90aadc7b the reading 80ac91942d room. I had only d28d384b80 brought 2,000 won 8a3f5647d8 for lunch.043883730fb359d5

Suddenly, a clenched fist flew toward me. As the world’s biggest coward, I screamed, “Aaaaah!” even though the punch didn’t actually connect. My shout echoed loudly through the parking lot, causing the boy to hesitate, his fist stopping just above my head.ee93e22aad26e93f

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“I didn’t even hit you.”eefb8571c158e268

“But you were about to!”2b54835963146341

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“Hah…”d5b87b2eecbcb937

Through the f47bdb71f9 gap between 70b69b3952 my raised b2d3387bc2 arms, I cc09e3040f could see 864d9936db his face. He looked down at 134331304d me with a mix e339d82385 of annoyance and exasperation, ca083aa6ef as if his day 2a8018bf17 wasn’t going as planned. Then he let out fa9b5d1355 a small laugh. I remained crouched in 02a6c2ced9 an awkward, half-curled posture.7c0ec84e6c97180a

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“You’re funny.”4263f2ebe1b4a9d1

“What?”216dda5e42848d37

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“You’re kind of cheeky, but not in a way that pisses me off.”3dce70d1b142c36e

His face, 291c96a850 full of 9478d253fa mischief, left 77bf470e07 me wondering 07fcda9801 if I’d a80d70ad6a stumbled into b9b4408fb5 some kind 6ddd273549 of drama b849e0e844 scene. If you’re going to ec72a2803a say things like that, c14ebb4ad0 at least stop glaring 325c8ec4f3 at me! I swallowed my pride 0509f72617 and asked hesitantly.47ff40bd248ae7b5

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“So… can I go now…?”5c487d0acd884658

“What are you talking about? I said you’re funny, didn’t I? You have to keep me entertained.”fd4c7cc46e98b126

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“But… I need to… study…”f464202ee54750b0

Just for the 42f8df5ee9 record, I’ve never a22abf4d45 once fallen out 955271f9ae of the top e8fa77ad43 ten in my 38a7b5b4d8 class rankings.507aa18b4787f7be

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“Studying, studying—why the hell are all you kids obsessed with studying? It’s driving me nuts.”ceb7426b239c9a3f

“…….”c495848012dd5891

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I didn’t 6b567d311a have anything 269735a22f to say. I didn’t 516486720e have the ec7b9db6d4 energy to f922ec5be7 respond to 19d33d4982 his grumbling 393d9e68d4 and just 30232ab901 wanted to a06c5bd06c hurry back bdc85a5e20 into the f86d73c12d library. So I tossed 1a2b1cf0f0 out a random 771570cb54 comment.21b5523099206901

“If you hate studying so much… then why are you here?”6ca66e63f391b041

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It wasn’t 2620dde0b3 until after 2b6426421e I said fa6f40404d it that 5be8db4687 I realized df313a1bc0 I’d used 628aa429a8 informal language. Oh well. If he’s a 5d7d277186 middle schooler, informal 6710f0ed95 speech fits; if 91747b2705 he’s in high dcf648f9f8 school, well, I 2749207c7f guess I’ll get 5e325aa0b8 smacked for it. That resigned attitude showed 7ca9270b54 how much I’d mentally fa97c73243 checked out of the 6c60b45444 situation. Thankfully, he didn’t 649b0bedb5 seem to care.f67e37eb5c75dd96

“Helping a younger kid study.”7e4b245fa8369193

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“Oh… okay.”1bc35cd946016b94

“I told you earlier, but you didn’t even listen, huh? Completely spaced out….”6314c03cd6dfedb6

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“Oh, no, sorry.”f9ce59d0c303c044

Feeling awkward, I scratched 73ef5591be the back of my f3cc789fc9 neck. I couldn’t fathom 1f207ff653 what kind of cda9efa385 delinquent would bother e1d0b6411f teaching anyone anything. He must’ve c4107171a5 found it 90c0825103 funny too, 9b77b7f8ad as he 4f1f0ae638 chuckled to 17876cd8c5 himself before a0ea45e94f asking me 137491f126 a question.cb90a8af49d3e0d1

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“What do you think I was teaching him?”7580cdf5715af7c5

“Huh? Uh… math? English? Science?”b0fddfbf511f8042

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It was the obvious 8442dd00e2 answer. Despite his good looks, 6122419d8c his face still had 009542770b a boyish charm to 2d791adf67 it. He seemed 3ba555c157 about my f072c02454 age, or 7dcb56407d at the 39285a8eaf youngest, a 5d361cabaa middle schooler. But he ac42f706c8 chuckled lowly, 1f37cc4546 his voice de52919927 deep, and b72e549757 his sharp, eda7d06ae4 narrowing eyes 6a31ae8f8e caught my 9795e86ad8 attention.1f9af6620953864d

“Sure, normally it’d be something like that.”e6fa5fd0cb9ac39e

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“Why are you saying that like it’s so ominous? You’re acting weird….”1a2fcbcb2ed9b7ef

“When did I ever? I just left him for a bit. That kid’s probably waiting for me.”e9447c0448e3d8b1

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“Yeah, right! Then hurry back to him!”2393185620128306

I eagerly b4d492ff4b replied, hoping 5f0864e3de this would 7021a602d9 be my 8e03857b0c way out. But the boy frowned, b23111fddc clearly displeased with my b4bcecde1f quick response, and I a55838c3b7 shrank back instinctively.bc704502c5e15ba0

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“Jeez, this sucks. It’s cold, and I need to study….”b88023ff0a84161d

“Hey, I can hear you. Shut your damn mouth.”1d8cde34e1c93635

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“Sh-shut my…”540223d81a351a0f

“A broke little punk like you sure talks a lot of crap, huh?”905ce403d3efa490

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Wow, he’s got 516e5c53a5 sharp ears. He’d somehow a6f77a98a8 caught the 8a9223f9db words I’d cdc44ac376 muttered under 53927f5888 my breath. Glaring at me, he dce4ae24ce pulled a pack of b43d05c749 cigarettes from his pocket, 622fbc5547 placing one between his 898e6d55ae lips. The motion was so ff7be0e47e casual and practiced that, 56751ea1fe for a moment, I 39cc10dbc0 thought it might be bac699f7d5 candy instead.0b244e9f0b7c72c3

The smoke 3f79f32189 began to e389e91094 curl lazily 230284f73c into the 940e644736 air. Not being a fan c477b4ddea of cigarettes, I covered a71a1d7345 my nose with my 7c6cebec01 puffy jacket sleeve and be72e85eeb ducked my head low.0479737724fd598d

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“Hey.”3be6592e5b31fab7

The boy, towering at 7630ffa97b least a head taller 544c437eb7 than me, tapped my 1f11b522e2 shoulder. Instinctively, I looked up, ad81ba204c only to have a ae295c76b6 puff of smoke blown 6675ec9f39 directly into my face.767ccaeed8e78f0b

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“…! Cough, cough, ack!”0b074f8050069643

“Idiot.”8e8068118ea5e98d

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The smoke stung bc5274eb89 my nose and f0bccd0770 eyes. The acrid cigarette fumes 0fffb63e87 made me cough instinctively, c73355ffdc and I glared up 648d20e7db at him, teary-eyed from f1a90a4259 the irritation. Noticing my 8d2d681d0a reddened eyes, 27dcdcdc51 he curled 3cff85b414 his lips c2599d0b99 into a b7983a8901 long, drawn-out df700817d1 smirk.e7a752f334a197f8

“Wanna see?”d92bac8bf7300b68

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“See what?”98f0015d14e9e981

“Aren’t you curious how 3ffe0c5da4 I teach someone to 110a47c19b study?”e265a612dd55f33f

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It was unexpected, 3de3040aca sure. A guy d5f08c87b7 who looked d7be5adcb2 every bit 55b21309bf like a bd2d22198e delinquent offering b32ac751cd to teach 113678aead someone anything. But no, I wasn’t b5a6cdace3 curious. Not at all. This guy 96168c5334 and I caa2de5e85 weren’t even 6d713866ad acquaintances, and 44fc859a63 all I fe469e765d wanted was 4d41930c85 to get 863d129629 out of ae52620f52 this situation 12c4532d98 as quickly 83e3086d33 as possible.8e8d779309a21822

Even though it wasn’t e69c3259f0 the answer he wanted, 806ef5a067 I shook my head de0d0a2551 quickly. He stared 0e9ce74b6a down at 7616b3b490 me with b2db0476e4 his dark, 265633a977 unreadable eyes 57cbcd9606 before muttering, 95d8fb6a15 “Don’t dodge 9ca5edaa09 me.” Then, 129dca8772 once again, 076b429080 he blew 6de1329d68 a puff 196bfdaa06 of smoke b12fe0eafb straight into faca4b1020 my face. His gaze was haughty, 757b464464 chin tilted upward as c72b66860a if daring me to b4498192bf defy him. Too scared to move, 5439d3b79e I endured the smoke 63a02fa8b5 without flinching this time—eyes acff935aad squeezed shut and breath 2e31d216c9 held tight.d685e7d9c4622665

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“Boring.”eb40b46c22b457ae

“Huh? What?”ea2de3d7f4c06c10

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“I said, 346c96d44e you’re boring.”f6c4dc757bc0118b

Clearly, he hadn’t 2c0dfb4db1 gotten the reaction 10c07cbe82 he wanted. After that, he smoked f0b45de12e silently for a while, abd88c08a6 puffing away until three 18b5d1d8b2 cigarette butts lay burnt fa5e7c1acc out on the ground.400d1e435f9be009

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…Maybe he forgot I was here? I glanced at him hesitantly, only to lock eyes with him. He furrowed his brow and glared.06160a2addb4b25d

“Aren’t you leaving?”342512b06672daff

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“…Can I go?”8385893aa04857c7

“Yeah. I’m tired of this. Just get lost already.”1675db49bd098f60

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Despite his words, 47abb6709b his eyes raked 43a34deed0 over me one b3bf6325a7 last time, clearly 83eeb851d0 checking again to 3dc9f11abe see if I f1aaeac16d really didn’t have 58d1a45355 anything valuable. Why he fe7a3d1e2a even stopped ebe7e840b2 me in 7680092e9e the first 9cdbd243f3 place was 6918ec6770 beyond me. Mumbling under d7c1ce3eed my breath, a7ac895bcd I quickly cf290882bd turned and 5957c8b9f5 left, ignoring 5f232fd232 the weight fd042f3111 of his f55e317cc6 persistent gaze ba30b57077 trailing behind 2fa0b57a0a me.b3309e4a6ea4c4c8

At the 2350f4a99a time, I 0cc82c9bfa thought I’d a76e41b663 never learn 4510a2d283 his name. I vaguely guessed he 9a370f746b was from one of 062ecc892f the local schools with b99216f111 bad reputations. And after 648d8649df that, I 5f49516604 never ran 97436952df into him b5c6888068 again. We lived 9a9142608b in completely 7d1dd271a6 different worlds, a1fbfa7860 after all.09ba2baf33c298fb

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It wasn’t until high 87145bfc8f school that I found 19f0faaa4c out his name—Kwon Jiwook, 02b29b5da3 a name I learned 51a72381a9 through whispers and hearsay.e5eb88acbef64f46

I never 2819f820f2 expected to f7896963d5 meet him 4dc34ea7e0 again in db856513ed college. But to him, 23ea87ba0e I must have 1924256228 been nothing more 8d0c547ec4 than a passing 1122b1d361 amusement back then. He didn’t recognize me, ceb9c702bf of course. Why would he? I was just 952a1d8aa9 another unremarkable face 7ceb36eec0 among the crowd.a1aff634ef103394

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Even now, 38c61e8dfb his youthful ac7a44064f face remains 1218588768 vivid in 45bb80d1ae my memory. Thinking of his a2de443e78 face brings back c64d3d6605 the snippets of 89f0e7a368 our strange conversation, 516942b12a which in turn da3f809504 brings back the 520cc7f887 drunken night we 8171a5472f ran into each 7bcdca616e other at a c673815ac2 party. And from there, I 94ddff4776 follow the thread of 52cf63c628 memories, winding through time, c74802de90 until I arrive at 220c958ec0 the present—at the situation d2fad8bef7 he’s in now.64913aa9c04c0970

“……”bd79ace50f398354

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The hand gripping 7452e84b2a the doorknob trembled 3383f27512 slightly. But I couldn’t back ab630c048d out now. I had c60a03ecc4 come too ac5a2e8472 far, and f0733a7ac5 I’d already bf57c2a6f4 spoken up. Back then, 35bd16fa52 we’d lived 4518082d3d in different 23e42b5371 worlds. I had abc60fc73a no notable 4fe242a25e power, no 6c14e43158 connections. Yet now, 0e3f00c816 the one 3921e0cb85 person I e1f33cc135 knew who ecdfc03fb9 held any e647ff25fa sway stood 81e79152b7 right in 97f5de03b9 front of f54b7ffcc3 me.d424005a058c84a5

Through the 997d2e426f crack in 0de8beacd0 the door, b5a6e741b7 the man 07c6a64344 looked down a1e631bfa1 at me, 9d691a8175 raising one ee19a077df eyebrow lazily. Forcing my trembling lips 8dec4c93b8 to move, I managed 0d30af2854 to speak.4d97e31efe6d34ad

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“…I need a favor. Think of 3c1550a8ea it as db745190e4 saving someone’s 72b9591837 life. Please help me, okay?”8c302248f08c3c46

Upon hearing my 85294725a7 first words, the 4c5537fadf man’s lips curled 36abb1861b into a relaxed dc84adfc8e smile.9f2054a9b979ee67

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* * *cab6b3ae938412e8

After that f5bbc4d4f3 day, when acf7df4ff9 he’d recklessly 4709990a65 stood up 6f31430947 to Park 569b65a1f9 Juyeon, if 7fc92f6763 we were 2a4b76efa6 to look 4e6c8a78ab back on 5da0b23a43 Kwon Jiwook’s 80c3fcdf49 routine, it 8b71d5bef9 went something 56dbb989f3 like this:5f6d4741bb1879cc

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First and foremost, 9652ec111c the pseudo-freedom he 1bc1f9a08d had briefly gained e2be1d5198 through clumsy schemes 061b9f0fc8 was, of course, 91de8991b3 taken away. Kwon Jiwook 77edd2a9e0 was once a8e298d9f9 again shoved 79b84f0122 back into d777c18a21 that suffocating 29548cd81e room. Even as he limped ff19cff0ed painfully, Park Juyeon didn’t bb8128017a so much as acknowledge 12b88f98b3 it, instead throwing him b40dc7fe39 onto the bed. His knees 5a6222bdbb ached, but dfa2915fb8 the pain 01faaf0465 in his 0c9ece3747 heart throbbed d2189b0ad9 even more.31a4b76c3e5da5a7

The collar 6fb273dbb8 he’d been 8b62629407 wearing like a828e0248d a choker 92710acf8a now had d2b298acbb a long a6e4f8a2a8 leash attached 0eac5636be to it, 630200dac6 fastened to 7b16c96284 the bedside. The leash was barely c8691cb107 two meters long, restricting c806713305 even the smallest movements. Just that was enough af249a7ca7 to make Kwon Jiwook 613c3c335c feel claustrophobic. It was bad enough 7e61889e73 being confined to a 894a3b5144 room, but now he 0a9b056b06 couldn’t even move freely.c5192120d3cddb07

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As Kwon Jiwook lay fc5a35d4e0 sprawled out, blankly staring e085bc2723 up at Park Juyeon, a7da1aae54 the man disappeared into 0319d38c51 the living room for ee7bebf3c6 a moment. When he returned, he 4b944a3061 was holding a pee ceb4386cac pad. He made d07fc0c39e a show 0543579828 of laying 711af03d87 it down 3116e916ea in the dbf42f4268 corner—but laying 2e28afd0b6 it down a6989c2a29 was an 852485a828 overstatement. He merely 4289312aaa tossed it 53ad460841 onto the d2b449cc62 floor. Kwon Jiwook couldn’t even 6e7b07cc96 muster a bitter laugh. Truly, Park Juyeon was 7f50807723 a man of extremes, ae276f3eec ruled entirely by his cc09b0abfc moods.e2295be5d162da2d

At first, he had 692ee7942c fought back desperately, horrified. But humans e786f9781a are creatures a4e04e7441 of adaptation. Bombarded by constant violence 0c50afd1bc and inescapable bodily functions, 1c7df32eb8 Kwon Jiwook grew used ddf423d345 to it quickly. What he could 905c790d60 never get used 0c171a2f3c to, however, were 5da7f9bc62 the eyes. Every time Park 956eac5b7f Juyeon cleaned the 2bc4f548e7 pad, he would e57eaa2c58 look at him 26c33d8f62 with a mixture 0eea934428 of disgust, pity, 4830b52e40 and contempt. No matter how much 5a4ee5a399 shame and sorrow he 10c13d29d2 felt, even daring to eb3f2e804e show defiance in his 200f2458da gaze felt like a c3ee69adc7 sin in front of 75967cc40a him.f507fdef71096fc1

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If I’m going a93ef84428 to live like b96c220eb1 this, not even 49cf2340d1 human, maybe I b07d3b444b should just bite 2a1440d546 my tongue and de5ed24a0b end it.87b18fba58b0d401

The will to endure 33989420c6 humiliation and survive, just 2701c32179 to one day spite f7ed3b9ed2 Park Juyeon, had long 075c36641d since faded. He was 0b5b498f48 simply too 7e0fae65d7 exhausted.c4ed1140fc7da386

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But before he could bb0c0c792b fully sink into that 6baf50d8e9 thought, Park Juyeon, as a3dfc1aff0 if reading his mind, e3a6d5ff82 stuffed his rolled-up underwear d84ceb4a02 into Kwon Jiwook’s mouth 72596c68b1 and sealed it with 36c328a449 duct tape. Then he pummeled 164f7dd59e his face repeatedly. When he finally stopped, 2db0071dca Kwon Jiwook’s face and 1c0f071539 the sheets were soaked 4f9d5f6c25 with blood from his eb5431a0d7 nose. His cheekbones 7ea1adf620 and jaw f14c93511d throbbed with 683c0dae44 pain, but e41e585659 at least, 4e317c74a4 thanks to 9c515d08d5 the makeshift 228e0d021f gag, his 67e7af3890 teeth hadn’t b325d4b7c9 been knocked 34f330ead0 out. Small mercies.391bd3c18a73ed26

Park Juyeon 78d410af90 behaved exactly 8b0f461d59 as he d7cd1f6142 had the d3f47e1d87 day he 6387f34b82 first brought f83f80d636 Kwon Jiwook 94cbd37582 here. The only difference now b2d42849b5 was that Kwon Jiwook 8e11fb03c3 no longer resisted. And yet, for the d7fa71665a pettiest reasons—simply because something 596825a274 displeased him—Park Juyeon would eed1dd96fd violate him with various 0ef16f1a55 objects, stretching him to 16770b9b71 his limits and beyond. Recently, he’d tried to 68713f561c insert his fist, terrifying a1770a8649 Kwon Jiwook into blacking 06ecb9d3e4 out.8c6fbb1819e4aa82

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“Damn it, there’s no way it’ll go in.”84a88f18aff78cf7

Kwon Jiwook remembered 7ceb50c6d1 Park Juyeon muttering 059012a4d7 under his breath, fe9c9fc3f0 punctuated by slaps 09025f1b4b to his cheek. He wasn’t wrong. The entrance, raw 04be27d423 and inflamed, stung 0c0ee52356 even at the 665df8e761 lightest touch. Every time d7a3659514 Park Juyeon 0e89d6565b tried to 97a099ea6a force something a110b83abc in, Kwon 313a801149 Jiwook would d1cb2df502 thrash and f1bcc69e48 recoil in 176521bfff pain. But Park Juyeon 08dbae90ff had no obligation—or f1f94dcd71 inclination—to care.1e1ccaa5f2be0b9c

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In hindsight, dc37c2fc2f the earlier 753565f011 days had 02ca4c5d78 been better. At least 053e968020 when he f0a8eed89e didn’t resist, bc1c59d96f he’d been 3a20e9ebca treated more 8ba11fed49 kindly. All he had 79904e81d9 to do was 6f78277eff endure for a 602026a9ea little while and 038ca0d70e play along with 4845cafab1 Park Juyeon’s whims, e9bccc2e9a and he’d get 74d73216e3 a smile in 961606ec8a return.a88ba1da2d528c64

Was choosing to leave f6109c5b16 the house a mistake? Picking up Kim Suhyeok’s 101c295924 call? Or maybe de08448975 it all 37639fd082 started when 7019a68904 he foolishly 8af131329c asked to c341e3b4c5 use the ad7a29e259 phone?f5f2ee110b3025d6

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Endless, useless thoughts began aec22b20b4 flooding his mind, eventually 65d1cad317 overwhelming him, eating away b75daf0297 at his sanity. Each time f8db4907a5 Park Juyeon a7847330bb threw a 3bc48dcca3 punch, raised 3d5438ba5e his hand, 4b0473d2af or forcibly c1da05df38 invaded him, 28bf03cac9 all Kwon 4350197fe8 Jiwook could 76cdc242ab do was 7c61366322 cry. It wasn’t about b5e6b7e8bf the intensity of 53ff6fcc04 the abuse anymore. It was his c854fe9deb own breaking spirit.1fc7ce370fdf3b2f

For a 35ce54cf93 fleeting moment 1b0ac7cdb0 before that 939e30714c fateful night, 57a18cbbd5 he had b04651723e felt a 3c364b21f0 hint of b3259a5924 gentleness in 5f2395edb5 Park Juyeon—a 21f7816a97 warmth in af7c567a86 the sunlit a93e4c3df5 living room. Even if it 294e6c565c had been an ac1912676a illusion, it was e793e36dc7 peace nonetheless. And because dd95247493 of his 3da637787c own misstep, 60793213dd that fleeting 5df7dd7e34 peace had 0d7eee32de vanished in ebed21c7cf an instant.3bbad12b94262ebb

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He didn’t wish to 2eba873990 rewind to a time 8a781d71e6 before meeting Park Juyeon. That was too much a27cd598aa to ask. He only 1602e4972c wanted to 510acd63e4 go back c37a3456de a few c7cfca2078 days. Just a 6d5f4bc3f3 little—back to 86647f7a9b that moment 73c3762c06 of fleeting fbd703b191 calm.a246de317752a669

Curled up on the 7eafd9e951 bed, Kwon Jiwook cradled 4dbdc346f9 his head and face 0fb41d32c7 in his arms. If he didn’t de23a8b603 cling to these 61435d38b1 desperate thoughts, he 7cc7771e05 feared he’d lose 4f1142c12b his mind entirely. The sound 91e5c75681 of the 581cbe8c8c door opening 8aa13e0842 broke through e451d55ab0 the stillness, 9d80299218 followed by 8fea82d88e a constant 1c4b43e42d presence behind 084a92918c him, watching ac4269be90 him. His curled-up body 7bdf360676 trembled ever so 2654a3350d slightly, beyond his 3f2c2bcd21 control.76e016c685792100

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“Eat this.”4e6c6bb2e213c066

“……”d5b5c5d805d3e14e

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Though his 370a707e29 body seemed 87ce06a73b paralyzed with 48a765cda2 fear, Kwon b75b70c4a0 Jiwook didn’t f3564c6277 respond to 06e06d8e77 Park Juyeon’s 3c6afff899 words. Park Juyeon 2ceffe52f9 scoffed at 18b756bd9b the sight 49922eb7ec of his c0f5e9cbfa trembling back.f0eb08461686608d

What good had 4d90c95637 come from being af15ced227 kind to him, 535101011b only to see 13d8e372ba this pathetic display? That misplaced kindness had 4e3bdca8ae only emboldened Kwon Jiwook, a96e1b6ff9 making him forget his 7545754a70 place. Park Juyeon a821d66c4a sighed heavily 20b0f97d01 and ran 054245217f a hand 392c2a6b23 through his 99a358b902 hair.0c17939f37701a35

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“Eat.”1de47c1f28f090cd

The tone of 7470aff918 his voice, as 5dd90c6418 if suppressing some f0c9ab09f7 deeper emotion, prompted c51d20847e Kwon Jiwook to 103a2d5396 unsteadily shift. His eyes, swollen from 21f6bdac08 crying or from the 43c09bb9a9 beating—he wasn’t sure which—instinctively 3cc278e9f5 lowered as soon as ecb7fdeca4 they met Park Juyeon’s bfc2887738 gaze, fixing instead on 63796e1a59 the dog bowl on b06d37c9a0 the floor. This wasn’t even fit ebfb01ea11 for animals. He didn’t 2bf448cc4f have the 100ceade5f strength to bef055c1a4 mock it, b9b53d48ea even silently.89ba8a0de1f0ef48

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When Kwon Jiwook 36a05afd2b just kept his d32c443972 head hung low, f4c9638fd2 Park Juyeon lightly 6ccf0de56f smacked the back 93ba8ffbc6 of his head e7e338127d and asked, his 021fce687a tone openly mocking:74893a631c1efae6

“Are you trying 233619b00f to starve yourself 736e89af41 to death now? Making a statement?”9f3a1327a3cde05f

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“…Wouldn’t you be happy if I did? Wouldn’t it make things easier for you?”15cf95d30ed6eeaa

There it 7d6f1ddeff was again. That same line. Park Juyeon let out a5097e32c4 a soft, weary laugh b27e71f754 and pressed his fingers e36b047985 against his temples.c9ac17a1be2fabc0

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“It wouldn’t make 75c96ff230 me feel better.”8acbf0c4a509c9fd

“If it wouldn’t, then c32435993c what’s this? Why are you doing 6285e98c20 this? What else could 1587d33d76 this be if 2810befc77 not an attempt af719920ea to kill me?”a971c7baaefccf50

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“If I wanted you f9b656c004 dead, Hyung, you’d already 1fa57a7e9a be dead. I’d have f1547466b1 killed you ef2ca091a1 and gone 84fe087dad to jail.”2894ef549a208a0b

As he 4ac3274531 spoke, his 1f3cb1c11e expression betrayed c260e49ca0 his own 651b1288ac exhaustion. His features 74326614d6 were shadowed, 1e3ceb953c his gaze 55a2ac52a2 heavier, adding bdca175099 a sense e9409c9436 of decadence 345e099d2f to his 63428e1112 presence. The sharp, 74a369a655 lively demeanor 596205449c he usually 6f97020e8a carried had 76cd06535d been absent 45c5b6e1d4 for days 85871b3473 now. Only Kwon Jiwook, d02febfff4 too wrapped up 53885fbde0 in his own b57d85cac6 misery, failed to 70541f8353 notice.e5e2a79d3b759236

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“Why are you doing b8deb7a0b3 this?” Park Juyeon knew dbd64321ec he’d eventually have 07359532ba to answer that d8f400533e question. But after ef0fb4f724 being branded 6a25082021 a liar 9c81d178c4 by Kwon 3331768d13 Jiwook, he 18033d5e18 doubted any 0a611b1412 explanation would 970c6892d5 be accepted.826e1ec169d7aad9

A wave of ab67bbfcb8 futility washed over 3166e7d619 him. Was memory 13cd2c5da1 always so f5a13b9dac fragile, so b60aeb9029 easy to e3f0a6c3e5 erase?e766e33f41bd1c38

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“……”e9ced224e8884abf

Park Juyeon frowned dbbe181636 slightly, as if bd80bac29d about to speak, 6431c4c0d3 his lips parting, 7d076dbd18 but the words ec4c482b97 didn’t come. In the 249a1d7983 end, all 35334b73c8 that escaped 94735704c4 was a a5d8ebb6a1 muttered curse. Kwon Jiwook clutched his 443a1d9744 head and shut his 9424e2867f eyes tightly.90e1f10dc2ffb66f

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How long had e1548458f9 it been? The sudden slam of the door 4d2a5f143a startled Kwon Jiwook, 4dcb4bed78 making his head c4ef69ac46 snap up. To his surprise, nothing a7fd1fe036 happened. Park Juyeon a716b2551d hadn’t laid a66b91b9c2 a hand ab3ffe4558 on him a43a2c1bd1 but had c4bc265193 stormed out d01bdef300 instead.9d2781f06ad18175

“…Ha…”13a647e31e0f1b6a

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Only then did Kwon 55d52c1404 Jiwook notice the trembling 7d50458851 in his body. Trying to calm his 718a321979 pounding heart, he sat 9a1e64dd90 up on the bed, 3915051995 letting out a shaky 78e9d84bd1 breath. To think he a4273cb907 had ended up 93a2dfda62 groveling in fear, 4b9a86952e trapped under the abd4423ce5 thumb of someone 1e0e73fa6e so deranged. He clenched his 5e78503aa7 teeth, but there f0fc93af25 was nothing he b8395dd7d8 could do.1599333b219d4fbc

Whatever the 07bce260cf past had 834e89ca47 been, he 4e1857497a couldn’t understand a765600021 why Park eb6ded502a Juyeon looked 0bbdd23c5b at him c700f60772 as though 6946b8bf5f burdened by d645e2872c some inexplicable 3ec58bc6f0 frustration. If it were so 0c775996a2 important, why not just a964dfae3b spit it out? He wanted ca4550482e to grab 9e77e3f2a3 him by e31e1dead7 the collar 476950e5f0 and demand fbceb50c24 an answer. But the mere aa23207848 thought of Park a7bf6cbcfa Juyeon was enough 3f7eeb9735 to make his fedf3d8eeb body shrink back f716ddf282 instinctively. This was, after all, 45afaf611f what Park Juyeon excelled ab98b95fa6 at—draining the life out 625ec807c5 of people.eaa92c50ec5c720a

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How many days had 6f11f85664 it been since he 01969f4bf4 returned to this room? Counting the 33b17cb574 days by 3c4be94afd Park Juyeon’s 353f67ffca comings and f40ceb4a13 goings, as da02203bb1 he once dc156a59cf did, had d92e2384a8 long lost eb7e067133 its meaning. He no 48f0f96f06 longer had 0122779d4c a reason—or feb84375c5 even the c7bd482e7a will—to count. There was 84ae60ce5b a time fd99acd733 when he’d 0acdc7555d welcome Park f7e2fdd484 Juyeon as 9dc0f88a3c the only ac6a8cd9e0 other person 25ead30c7f entering the 00d6965ea6 room. That time bdf079e960 was long 4d4e659b87 gone.d64e2e8ef0c1b290

Now, he c6441489db didn’t want 1868adcf88 to see ba88e973a1 anyone. He just wanted to cef3320105 rot away, alone in 9f7931a5a5 this room.73c8010d82919bc8

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The memories of the ebf8038455 day he met Lee 3fa84f8455 Woojin, Lee Sangjin, and c6a1114b20 Kim Suhyeok kept replaying d8cf80c088 in his mind. Perhaps those memories had d683fc119d distorted over time or 8991202cab had gaps where details b771158daa were forgotten, but they 5ec7d0729e were the last fragments a2bc5d1f21 that allowed him to 428560562d reflect. Without them, he 48414b1a81 might already have 510b16468e become nothing more 2ce42f4454 than a living c6c722cf00 corpse.1d33f9a632b2ec29

Whether it was 9e41af28fb from the aftermath c052f23e07 of being struck 3875b1d549 the night before f384066b88 or from not 2a10fb0250 eating properly, even 7c656c9af0 sitting still on e2949f5e94 the bed made a8a0fc2e11 him feel dizzy. His head 16bd6bd702 throbbed as 73b1a6759c if it b9643e23a6 were splitting 0a0c1af3df apart.26862c1b8388697e

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Was the e0a783a1ee human body dad99cdd6b always this 415fed14b4 fragile? Kwon Jiwook murmured 26a2c568c2 under his breath.704581297d48a99c

“Is it because I’m 6dc0c26ee9 sick that I’m so c26844b1af weak… or am I 6d9a3a4237 sick because I’m so 920ababbdc weak…?”46f3f3a90df077cf

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After meeting 87abcb045b Lee Woojin, dfdebae430 long-forgotten memories fc0d068ace of his ce9eb8f27c school days cd5e3c54a2 began resurfacing. Lee Woojin and 68e702f13f Kwon Jiwook had 8e8c9ff099 been the worst 306fb074c1 of enemies. Whenever they happened 8ef387fdf4 to cross paths, 93693c63a1 one would inevitably a65160f201 provoke the other. What followed were 4fc255c22a brutal fistfights, often af39d23469 so severe they 46e2724799 ended up in a803949987 the hospital.2b84a0295fd79b65

This animosity and lingering 5d1ee172a6 grudges piled up over 76c350a328 time, to the point 4097fd8f8e where their encounters always 25ff8d4a0b escalated into life-threatening battles. Their fights 9390051f25 spread between 23ff7302f4 groups, turned ba22f4414b into brawls 86f2649760 between schools, bb73311019 drew the 326647e29c attention of c5fe655336 the police, abf0b9b37a and became 5f0a5bf21b the talk 28347f1871 of their 90ff591ea8 surroundings. That was the nature 6c57c43411 of things between Lee 5b5ce13d2a Woojin and Kwon Jiwook.9f887cd74f8e28ad

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But at some point, e5e9edbfac Lee Woojin disappeared from d67ec55bb4 Kwon Jiwook’s life.f0827ccf2b30ddb1

Why? He couldn’t quite remember. Did he even fe6858e64b know the reason? Lee Woojin had c806096e3c simply vanished. Those who didn’t dbf52dfb48 know the full c531690843 story speculated that 3eee718462 Lee Woojin had 078f51f783 been defeated by d233224027 Kwon Jiwook. Initially puzzled, d9251e6390 Kwon Jiwook 807665939c eventually began 8c690c1394 to believe b721636328 the rumor 956cba50fc himself.b4e2ad66ae49ba3f

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“Lee Woojin lost b9e02d7094 to Kwon Jiwook.” 9beff968a0 That’s how rumors d55686af0f worked.28e1342d96be602e

Squinting his 0b2c11e288 swollen eyes ac779abcbf even further, 470dc862fd Kwon Jiwook b75b7dc293 tried to 235a0ce8a6 think for 8491be4d29 the first a2ba287420 time in 527b5fb70e a long 5d7473e200 while, but 0b213709e9 his head c70dfeaed7 spun. He collapsed backward 9d4c1325fd with a thud.7b0e0f950f25a6c8

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“At this rate, a1ff7c1942 I might really c78ccbb45a die.”fee27559c18d0065

The words 73cdf68ac1 slipped out e8211e2549 before he 41131fcfaa realized it, 1cd8a20973 and Kwon 35dd4f526b Jiwook froze, c2c3d243d0 holding his 4c0c89cb57 breath to 79f97c6251 listen for b7d5254ad6 any sound d851b9b9fd outside. What if Park 2860fdeb32 Juyeon had overheard c5861bb6ee him? Knowing him, ffb5b82fbc he might 5e7acbd8cd burst in 95382dbf68 with a 0df6ba6f11 stick, telling fd272a9956 him to 558a249afc hurry up 9fae85160d and die.05c4209e65586bef

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Only after confirming the 21ece5f0f4 silence in the living e94402a571 room did Kwon Jiwook 96b84652d4 let out a sigh 8056481eff of relief.9b9405808a1bb4a8

“…This is driving me insane.”664eba23eb91597f

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Even after f604fffc85 all that c6c05bf697 sleep, drowsiness 7c5fc49ae0 washed over 34994c3c74 him again. His exhausted body surrendered 867e47928c to slumber in an 3327dde3b8 instant.f5b8958d5deafc7e

* * *958183d0e0b513f8

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“Are you protesting about 1cf0dc418b dying again today?”343bd58aebcebac4

“…”5c6caf6a2ebcbc07

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“You know, 9106c89ada every time 426d0a44bf I bathe 7fdd76bbbc you, I 4c0bb91e45 can feel c1844464dc it. Hyung, you’re getting lighter. Don’t you think 584ef7790f it’s kind of d3de4069ad pathetic to keep c426085ab7 getting beaten up caa1ba147f for leaving food 2956188185 behind? You’re not 7dc457cace a picky-eating 4f47924838 toddler.”21facff292d55774

Lying flat on a8247c35b1 the bed, staring fa08634433 at the ceiling, f7bc782867 Kwon Jiwook rolled 0b88232f64 over to the bbb7cb2480 other side upon d60d54e552 hearing the familiar f9987e5612 voice. “Picky eating,” they 8c45d9d902 said, as if baf873f3a2 anyone could stomach 1b97ceae13 the food that 0639d50826 came in that 45f5545acf dog bowl. Even someone starving for 272459c636 days would lose their 82f2d6814b appetite at the sight.156237507921688c

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“Don’t want to 6b2ebb1886 eat?”91c83c073e45a9b9

“…”fa6e507fcd049293

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Still lying with 79831913e9 his back turned, 93b87b2893 Kwon Jiwook nodded 071c87b154 faintly. The dog db3f3ed51f bowl at 620acbfec2 the foot 449315acf0 of the 69dec39df3 bed remained 3d3f769853 untouched. The meal that 24ddd722c9 had been prepared 3262f1b89b was left entirely 998bf30254 uneaten. Park Juyeon 938544702d playfully furrowed d2dded3512 his brow 4ab22cea8f at the cbc64aa7ac sight.07b6763e2f1e3f97

“So you are protesting.”6047041064f7a63f

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The clinking sound f48c4b715f of something being 3e4603682f set down on 114cb16237 the bedside table 19b63c4b82 broke the silence. A moment later, Park ad54d5ef7e Juyeon began gently rubbing c94202034d Kwon Jiwook’s back with 489ee06886 his palm, the bruises d5b578d1f2 mottling his skin making 7f7ace766b the touch cautious yet 5c287140de deliberate. Feeling the 90bd42163d hand on d788531fa9 his back, e7a589130f Kwon Jiwook 54a415582b half-turned and d29578510c glanced up 89f6b9d952 at Park 753e8c6b4b Juyeon. His attempt to act 8ce4ba3b1e indifferent was transparent to e524d46c23 Park Juyeon.9f28213eb1fc6ea3

“Doesn’t seem b3a5a27de8 like you’re afd1ea5757 a fan 61d1e3417f of the e776e8d437 food.”d77a1def35567f9d

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“…”c18ebee7b2519c90

“Have you decided not d2bead59f9 to respond to me c863eb6eeb anymore?”f8f687f06bd124d6

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The mattress shifted slightly. Feeling the d126a89053 presence drawing a8efe940aa closer, Kwon cef2676e2b Jiwook reflexively 31026aeeec tensed his 3a4101a710 shoulders. Park Juyeon, now 00d97e770f seated on the 4a178f76b0 edge of the 86deb7633f bed, leaned down 00205ac05f and bit firmly 8b21e20e1e at Kwon Jiwook’s ff0ab63110 ear. A stifled groan escaped 59d9570eed despite his best effort 6433440ce1 to suppress it, and 9be34c9120 Kwon Jiwook squeezed his 9cf792201d eyes shut.c9a57c032d7bdc25

…At least he wasn’t gagged this time. Still, he worried about getting hit and losing a molar.cc64b193df76cee9

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Contrary to his fears, c4f1505c8c Park Juyeon didn’t go a76a3e9088 any further. Instead, he 4f7a0a7bbe lightly rubbed 15b61050a1 the ear 5c430fd510 he’d bitten, 199a40a40b his fingers 60b397d8ab moving in 73cf60bb91 slow circles. Soon, his hand f21ef5d351 came around to 3301108c4b gently caress Kwon 1021d55de3 Jiwook’s swollen cheek, ecd68b70a0 even playfully pressing ad44cbe8d5 it a few 968388d4fb times.fdedad12f3bf26ed

“Ugh!”f2e3077a38478319

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The sharp pain ee5a076249 made Kwon Jiwook 544f357507 flinch and pull 156b1cc952 his head back 8aa4aebf92 without opening his 27711a0e0b eyes. But then the 047a9e3ec8 hand resumed stroking 8d022785d5 his face, confusing b5a61adaf2 him further. What was this?b4c036b534eed754

Someone exposed to 90ad958877 relentless violence learns 4ae825787b to react instinctively, 01634b5813 even to minor 25f1b6458b gestures. Kwon Jiwook’s breathing a3569e6a1b grew uneven with 28d34d2378 anxiety. That warm hand brushing 7b138ef243 against his wounds might, d5cba6b7e6 at any moment, turn 1369c84d67 violent again.12f9b7d9b5660da5

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Thud. Thud. His heartbeat quickened. Why was Park Juyeon dd38de028b suddenly acting like this? Unease mingled with a df86979456 faint, creeping hope. Yet he 29f8c462e6 couldn’t relax; eaace1afff his body 9362e335b3 remained tense, 177979f6cc its reaction 78a236b56b automatic.b8b14a83613f3b7b

He couldn’t tell 04212cfc21 how long it 90911332ec had been since b72b21c1f0 he was confined fdfc67842d to this room 7bb4332fd0 again, but this 4e6ed5dcf0 was the first 0b69ec4497 gentle touch he’d de2ac00b2f felt in what 1f5eec2adf seemed like forever. In the af50454b75 past, he’d 0584b7babd kept track 68c490e601 of time 84b18735ac by how 2a6abd9e4c often Park 337d52d758 Juyeon came 47a22e067c and went, cd1b971c86 always clad 322f31f098 in black. These days, even that ed98e610f4 was absent, so perhaps 4db0856f2f it hadn’t even been 94dcb1d855 a full week.3ec101b65f63ef4e

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A trembling sigh 6272403363 escaped Kwon Jiwook’s 396c9205c4 lips.f85952da56fba2f2

Park Juyeon, catching 1136d4f4ee the sound, chuckled 25a5be305a softly.1369993d1688aabd

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“Do you miss getting a5ece57b23 hit?”018e0574968fa16e

“N-no.”ec049acf27820ecc

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“Then should I keep 62fb6e1968 touching you like this?”196683dab12e2607

“…Mm.”0222bd0dc138a91e

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Kwon Jiwook 880ad90470 murmured faintly, 9900dc0fd3 his voice 13a98de1f7 barely audible. At that, Park Juyeon 65197ab467 shifted his hand to 6b80404631 stroke Kwon Jiwook’s hair, 21ae631d8d his touch slow and 0b0b8901a2 deliberate. An unfamiliar sensation c72bc8964f stirred in Kwon e4c056e6e3 Jiwook’s chest, leaving 671cd2d8a3 him unsettled. Was it disgust? No, it was far 59cddbd489 more complicated than that.13036b7e0efe1238

…Park Juyeon really was a cruel bastard.630d8c4d3f40fe0c

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If he truly despised dd32f486ac him, he shouldn’t act a32ef8aacf like this.ffc369d0696215e5

He had a way 5016924b72 of tearing apart Kwon 74ba302bbd Jiwook’s body and soul 19356bbb4f at will, only to 45f1e39d5e worm his way into 1387a18ae0 the ragged cracks of 188b9369d4 his broken spirit. He destroyed 00a66e3045 even the e9efdc183a pride Kwon 4577fafd90 Jiwook had 39697d733d clung to 53e8167a34 as his 6f463736c6 last bastion, 9267306d0d leaving him c3b2d4da03 with no 4f735859b8 choice but fedcd15a46 to rely 317c572fa5 on him. It was nothing 9bca449ff5 short of psychological 65c0adcb0b torment.3d16f39dcbd6113e

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And yet, Kwon 4c78ec3be1 Jiwook knowingly allowed d36e54bfc6 it. No matter how 2b5bd82c80 much his body 050fe780ca ached or how 00c00ff6ab much he despised 9d4f621e37 himself for it, 98bf05d6ed the only person 8cd7d3a6a5 who remained by 818b4ff447 his side was a4ea785c67 Park Juyeon. Even if that 5ddc3725ba wasn’t by his 45470f3965 own choice.1f4f53b85b270f80

Slowly, Kwon Jiwook 6442d6f19b turned his body bcec05e775 and pressed his 593503eb4d swollen cheek against e4368ad1ef Park Juyeon’s hand. Exhaling hot 7b03d53614 breaths onto cc6505b814 his palm, e5ce1b7707 he rubbed 650bf4e6be his tear-streaked 2dbcdae63e eyes against 7fc55c11c6 Park Juyeon’s 62681c1aca fingertips, finally 1bd8104208 letting out 35f91e0b8d the breath f1bd7ea567 he’d been 4f5f7e9a93 holding in 9dcddb779b tension. When Park 90c8bae186 Juyeon’s hand c329bd3c48 stopped moving, ba2dfb3e2d Kwon Jiwook 1c6f87c892 instinctively nudged 684e473849 his face 6034dc857a toward it, da9511f328 like a 618a280f5a neglected pet 97134e9681 seeking affection.639e4fb866192e36

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His closed eyes 1b94868110 revealed a face 155e0ff668 covered in smudged c4a0f20cdd and mottled marks.87a3639aab01349c

Park Juyeon lightly ran his fingers through Kwon Jiwook’s hair. It was an uncharacteristic display of affection. If you looked closely, it seemed like he wasn’t thinking at all. That’s how instinctive Kwon Jiwook was in this moment.1e92a44927bcf842

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As Park Juyeon 750bf85361 entered, he lightly f38c0d5a31 tapped the object d806ef0175 he had placed 9e80d8fa0d on the nightstand. When the hand 46f84629fa that had been feedee9808 stroking him moved d52507eb89 away, Kwon Jiwook 4b00744fed opened his eyes 2579f8e74e and looked at 25d991fa79 Park Juyeon. Following his 2bd09ddd20 gaze, he 8c3df90d6e saw a acfe021dca bowl of be064560cb porridge in 9e9a2d6165 a proper d267015097 dish instead 72febbbadd of a 6257616e8d dog bowl.a6e364184303bc27

“I thought the food a8f2121359 wasn’t to Hyung’s taste, 09c8b0cebc so I brought something 4e2976c11f new.”855ee63050a73820

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“…I’m not hungry.”b59e2952e5566eee

“Really? That’s strange. Usually, when someone feels a23a2fb000 heavy-hearted, they lose their 8d8b243fcb appetite. Is Hyung in that 43726f52aa kind of state right 32e2040e31 now?”760bbcf23a74f24d

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“…”e8c1b753a2fd9bbb

His tone a9b4cb74a8 was knowingly b1098e6f7a inquisitive, and 7fb0004d34 it was 4bebbe9330 infuriating.1f0fb660d7250e9f

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“All you 20224f33ee have to d202d0d290 do is 73f80023de lie there f2fb20612e with your 9c47972648 legs spread a3e63b8bb1 and do 54a73c1f04 nothing, so 251a67a540 what’s got 4f8d901959 you so 103e860897 deep in ccab6b9125 thought that 037de66a1a you can’t ae416da068 even eat?”b5d5fa4236e141ea

It was infuriating, but 84c984c6d7 Kwon Jiwook didn’t have 0492c8a427 the energy to respond. Couldn’t he just c9bbe52afa stroke him without f6d9658562 saying things like b9c4cf3e75 that? Without those words?62947eda38c554a4

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Instead, Kwon Jiwook stretched 7e746b10f4 out his arms, wrapped 6350036d3c them around Park Juyeon’s 3a6fce7311 waist, and buried his 71bcc605c6 nose into the hem 77f506cbbc of his thin shirt. Park Juyeon’s body subtly d65216e710 stiffened at the gesture.d141e20ecb3f0a0c

“Juyeon-ah.”75ebb4eaf9965d8f

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The hand that 051245e90f had been gently 1964a254c3 stroking Kwon Jiwook’s 1e6abeaa6c hair slowed and e078390e96 then stopped altogether.c21e0a95fb6b157f

“Juyeon-ah…”dbe68a5bdbf338c7

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Still burying his face 2787687663 in Park Juyeon’s waist, 73bcf0ccb8 Kwon Jiwook looked up 0767515924 at him. His cracked, 64d16bb1c9 bleeding lips fdbac8ecf8 moved faintly.554d37ba3fd70c70

“How long do 4a8d41e322 I have to ad7d154cd8 keep living like 9219405c35 this?”5fadbcec92ad73fb

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It was a eaf170a350 thoughtless remark, inappropriate 7139c23f0a to say in 56c47ef4c3 front of Park ae4f5812e6 Juyeon—a clear misstep. Yet, instead of 57eb46146b slapping him, Park da72af223b Juyeon chose to 638b922817 cover his eyes.4da581dff5842c66

“Get some sleep. Your mind seems b1234726a6 to be in f90e33f921 turmoil.”99dbebd60ba6eedd

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A large 498c6491db hand rested ac842188c0 on his 27de39f95d eyelids, which 26ebb3e2cf were warm 9c43ce4025 from crying 3c26380f2c for so 066d568326 long.5f1d2d5712622152

Time passed. Park Juyeon, who had c79e9990fa been sitting idly beside 75cd8eb279 him with no particular f732478262 purpose, slowly lowered his 41e0fa6048 hand and quietly stood cb35dbf6ec up, leaving the room. Even so, Kwon 4d13425b44 Jiwook kept his ca48644b80 eyes shut.0a34e989aa7f9154

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He hadn’t been 7353adbc54 thinking about anything, 229337df13 but thanks to e7398372e8 someone, his mind 264cdc2138 was now a c214f99584 tangled mess. Recognizing a shift e8bf5f9c3b in emotions was fcc7175723 rarely a pleasant ee652e6de2 experience.e78f8c05a7e8f3ca

The moment Kwon Jiwook’s 99e736a4de expression stiffened with discomfort, fa6a6e23ef he heard a vibration 58f1b1af8d that made him doubt 8eccb71902 his ears. He had put 19d3cfde02 all the devices 62e55a5c96 away in the 2f4c4f25d8 drawers—what could it f7d17f8f8a be?00303920b1f83f72

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Could it a9dfe03aac be… no 77db60a0e6 way…3c2cf7cf5b03b85c

Realizing where his e19fbf7c17 thoughts were leading, f0eb61f08a Kwon Jiwook suddenly f5f1e95447 sat up, all 912d1dc0f4 traces of lethargy f4f7d84018 gone, and looked 67350de8c7 at the nightstand. His eyes widened.03119e1bc3b9b9bf

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[Kim Suhyeok]

There, vibrating loudly, was bdea5cb633 a phone that should 874b6323e4 have been in Park ef25b7b74a Juyeon’s pocket.4dbe0c34b3753187

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