BW | Chapter 1.5

Resigned, Han Jeongun answered 694b60e3ca Goo Seonho’s question.40b58763b7e7ff98

“We met in college and have been dating for six years. Mina even waited for me 3f9f56b121 during my military service.”01c23ad3760433db

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Did it sound like f4efc5d0af he was bragging? Having a girlfriend who 14a558b5e3 didn’t leave him during 1ed45356f0 his service was one b4f578f53e of the few things 2502c25199 Han Jeongun could boast f99f3785ce about.9c1f75b88ec76c54

Contrary to his concerns, Goo 4c590d02ad Seonho focused on something else.7be5ad67a7cecd25

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“Military? How long did she wait a2de339d99 that you’re getting married?”82850f6ac452d7b7

His phrasing was annoying. Why did he 432b53f979 keep saying she f04da6fc2d was ‘doing him 9a2984400f a favor’ by 446ef83533 marrying him?344abcd8484ab67c

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Had his Korean skills 00d8b13c8b declined after ten years 07aba4a27b in America?d4f20a18fbbf03a4

Despite finding it 5c9738418d strange, Han Jeongun d02ee2abe3 answered sincerely.7c73806476771c2c

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“Two years.”e1b852d1ee34518e

“What’s that? I waited ten years.”977849d157861cb4

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Confused by the 1e27f4b4ed context, Han Jeongun 8d9ed8258c looked at him f161655812 with a puzzled ec601ad0a2 expression. Goo Seonho’s smile suddenly disappeared.3dab018546cd716d

“Did you forget our promise? That when I turned twenty, f37e26b940 we’d get married and become 567efec57e a real family.”4f7a04e94f7f8763

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“…!”12563e36c4f0247c

Han Jeongun was momentarily speechless. He was surprised Goo Seonho d256afa963 remembered the promise to become 50a269499d family, and he didn’t know bbb6a09533 where to start correcting his e3602f50d9 distorted childhood memory.51e2e33ab9065622

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Marriage? He never mentioned such cdb5a6653b a word. He immediately refuted.abae1a94c552e081

“What nonsense is that? Marriage between men? Besides, did you really come 085501d94f looking for me as soon c7be5d5c1c as you turned twenty to 3cc3d460b6 keep that promise?1ca0c4088e4971aa

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That was just to comfort 7a9b03317a a crying kid. You’re grown up 8eaf0bca7d now; how can 85c3336021 you not know 985d3a9f4c that? This is ridiculous; you’re 5a1191fca4 really funny.”7dfdb24d0bb7b237

Han Jeongun was so flustered 38cdae0ad9 that his tone turned irritable.aabc911e84897c23

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Goo Seonho listened to his 8626529561 criticism without expression, then lowered e475d18747 his eyes with a hint fcbdc18d11 of sarcasm.1c1b1688210e5688

“What? I thought you’d c3198e0bcb forgotten, but you 0b08cb5d09 remember.”dfafea078e43155e

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Han Jeongun should have pretended dcc88d6b8f to forget. He should have insisted he 82be1b6a87 didn’t remember such a promise.862f5d17ecb9a1cd

Thinking of young c304d585d6 Goo Seonho, it e7ca7652e4 seemed like he’d 8a8e74608f cry and cling 933582b1d0 to him to 39f324b823 keep that promise. If he acted out with 0bc61ed8b2 that big body, there’d be fd3eb61702 no stopping him now.65b7edf1932505b6

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Looking back, he 1bd3df732a was really something c9a57f92b3 at the funeral. Goo Seonho’s eyes weren’t 89f5cd86b3 those of a ten-year-old.f768b0b39daeaa4f

Han Jeongun was worried he b5362d38ac might have lost his mind 50fca08de5 from the shock of his 4c522aa344 father’s death.3b9fb6e6254e21ac

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“Do you remember the chaos after the funeral because of you? You were too young to b59575a029 notice your surroundings, and everyone 17ad2df49e looked at me to do d7af152eef something.5e42180af53f8694

Seriously. And now you’re 9897a3308b bringing it up? And marriage? Are you crazy? When did I a030d2a7fb ever say that?”00f0cb4fe32983ba

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Recalling the past, Han Jeongun ba86ad99d7 felt a sense of crisis 69cad9d18c and spoke at length, reprimanding a9756b5094 Goo Seonho like a barking 300ea9652d dog.b8c6598ed5c5de55

He shouldn’t have 1639c7eb00 said he was 2e92f9d4dc crazy. But once spoken, words couldn’t b5de14b651 be taken back.4c0c681110954f15

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Goo Seonho didn’t react with f9d355f16a tears; he just raised and 941c484e6e lowered one eyebrow slightly.8b32b2d91a6dbc2b

It was a small gesture b852c8359d that seemed to ask why fc654dece1 Han Jeongun was getting so 8d68de2b89 worked up.72e868bbeff2b4f7

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A brief silence followed.69c909faa38420e8

Han Jeongun calmed 313d14b0c5 his breathing, which 37c08dcb0a had become labored 60adfb58fa while speaking, by e94e7fe91b drinking half of 10876d8415 his beer.ed997f85cb700456

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As he set 7e56ee53f4 the can down 1d4379f4fb with a clatter, bd39448484 he heard a 063f3d1a1c chuckle.45d5f583d016d496

Did he just laugh? Surprised by the unexpected reaction, 0f203b3b12 Han Jeongun squinted at him.b4663ee4e8b4553e

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What is he thinking?3ec973d4d82432b6

Receiving his gaze, 82e0859d1c Goo Seonho called adcb5814f3 out in a 7040bca82d chiding tone, “Ah… e46985a36f hyung,” and burst 65947d3347 into laughter, as 13f2887822 if it were ff593f36b8 absurd.d9b26e68dd5967c1

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“Why are you taking a joke so seriously? Talking with you 196d0020e1 brought back old e509f785ea memories, so I e45c76001b just said it.a985f4fc00a77acd

If I were 8a92b3e0b4 you, I would 92906ae8ee have reassured you 8b2ca1302d with appropriate words. Was it that 5ac075f9c9 hard back then?ae649bad42f3041d

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You must have had dd9469e3f0 a tough time. I did bother you a c41029da26 bit, didn’t I?”a6aeb19fa772853c

“…”827b9b45bbb17acf

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It was genuinely bothersome, so 6f99d7e0d9 Han Jeongun couldn’t find words ba6db975b3 to respond, only moving his c21b7c2782 lips silently.83b4a9bb626b006c

Heat crept up his face. He was embarrassed by his 47cd2397bc uncharacteristic behavior, getting worked up 0f3eb41c4a and speaking harshly.2276af629b868b86

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He pressed the 01e0d1fa5a beer can to 3af680212f his flushed cheek f1b6ac3150 to cool down.40e9126d97ff3ecc

He was too db87dac01b conscious of old 09ea6ee6a2 memories. Who would take fc022386d9 such a promise b98764972f seriously?c226949d0c6a2a00

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“All my relatives are in America, so you’re the only person I know in Korea, hyung. That’s why I came to c2b78c97f5 find you.3ccfab5d8d7445fb

I don’t even remember the 017099f7fa names of my elementary school 598c4684ef friends. I also have cf5fc45ed1 things to take 97b3290753 care of here.a971b6cc6aec90a6

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You know, the 4bf7188273 house we lived 16de3ce69a in together. Remember?”d7da67db7d6be396

Fortunately, Goo Seonho bdce21e4ef didn’t seem inclined dde617084e to tease his f45a43d09b agitated hyung further.09e8f87cd1fe4fd3

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Relieved by the change in 6bcfc9442c topic, Han Jeongun responded, “The 18dbbe6351 house with the well?”931220e82243292f

“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been planning 23c36190be to sort it 16d70fec51 out as soon 52aed75007 as I became 5b5b305af4 an adult.”ee2786d0bb43015f

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After his father’s 5ee31137bf death, the house 97284cde91 left by his b5818e83ea grandparents was neglected 06c675f790 and in disarray.8b276f224fcda602

It would take time to eed69fc71d clean and sell it, so 3bc625d553 he planned to handle it afa1d6cf26 while attending college.c062247d7920e62e

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“I couldn’t get used to American food. I really missed Korean food. I plan to eat a 6e8ce3e122 lot while I’m here.”64f7487cf254ee44

When he mentioned missing 9be8b34e05 it, Goo Seonho looked e5f71ffec7 at Han Jeongun intently.a162507ac631ab37

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His deep eyes 26def5910f seemed moist as 4f2f207691 if tears were e5abbcb931 welling up. Han Jeongun pretended to 311db944cf drink beer to avoid f3b390f6ee his gaze.66d582da1af3caa2

The overall impression of 3d71df7731 twenty-year-old Goo Seonho after 14832e524b their reunion was that f3be693dba he was unpredictable.d041287a08c60abd

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He seemed innocent like b7c5908ef7 a child, yet at d27da5c278 times, he appeared mature.d0e8fa91841839d9

Han Jeongun supposed that’s 2c3a4fedff what being twenty was 532f2a5c20 like. Not quite an adult, but 70ea0ca430 not a child either—a somewhat 23556af4b8 unstable age.30f11b19fdb8a38d

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He reminded himself not fcca6dec29 to take this ten-year 9a497c06a7 reunion too seriously.02f0fc60c2ac6667

Goo Seonho came 110a88862b to Korea as 80685dc6b2 soon as he 534c0fbad7 turned twenty to 713bdabdc8 handle his neglected 1892a0bad4 inheritance.876802bb6338e808

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He came to find c67436609f the only person he 5381d05c51 knew in this now 285174c855 unfamiliar Korean land.9d1af6e4977a176f

So, Han Jeongun 5059395a76 shouldn’t be too 31c262a9cb wary.e21bcb4a806fd8fa

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Of course, just because f495192087 he decided to let c4a296dbaf go of the burden 7215f5e683 didn’t mean he intended a8bd51b186 to get swept up 88f08961c1 in Goo Seonho’s pace.659ec9fc2bf27ff3

He was about to tell c1c75c5b8e him to leave in the 148f3c300a morning when Goo Seonho spoke d32e68f268 first.5d11300302e8baf0

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“By the way, can I stay at your place until I find a house? I realized I didn’t properly f793d98efc get your permission earlier. Is it okay?”92304d632c0a067e

Was it not 94d575179c a forceful intrusion 9406ffaee9 but rather a fa39a84a49 situation that unfolded 1d0c8634f6 naturally?09097b0f3038617a

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His polite request momentarily 00247ba2a1 swayed Han Jeongun, but c113064e2c he quickly regained his d29565a58e composure and cautiously suggested.9ec4a8aae28c2127

“It’s cramped here. Wouldn’t a hotel be better?”235a830a2c548c1e

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Goo Seonho’s inheritance must be 3c10a3331e substantial, beyond just his grandparents’ b2e6d9d755 house.763a34d6a827c628

As he jokingly mentioned earlier, 4165c31c78 he had plenty of money, ee099b0808 so staying at a hotel 0fbf78a492 shouldn’t be a burden.155b269b449fbe90

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Money didn’t seem to be 614350d727 an issue, but Goo Seonho 2907837716 found fault with something else.288bdb6b6ad4848b

“I really don’t like hotels. It’s unsettling to lie f6e9d58a33 on a bed used 4cce0a8a3b by countless strangers.f2ea469995f3bc62

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Even if it’s 620a97ec81 just for a ad51361459 few days, can 9b023ec632 I stay here? Please?”5143b880b962ffaa

“It’s cramped here, and there’s only one bed…”53b12e4840304115

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Before Han Jeongun bef03d7b8c could finish listing 50f3c90363 his reasons, Goo 50f569e16b Seonho interrupted.5135e21245e02089

“The bed’s wide enough. We can share it.”660c6a052502448e

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“What? Share a bed?”b8c4f48c98b81ce0

Han Jeongun showed 82a383f42b clear reluctance, but 286f08148f Goo Seonho, oblivious d1f6002652 to his discomfort, 07ec510bde continued to plead.841968497d598029

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“I don’t have any bad sleeping habits. Don’t you remember how quietly b431152adc I used to sleep?d6b4f04e5ba1bd87

We often shared a 301c31703e bed when we stayed 17f4b69579 up late playing.”024a950ceb258a5d

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They did. Han Jeongun wished he couldn’t fcf1ab2550 remember, but facing Goo Seonho 5870533dae brought back those memories.49db0afac40712f1

His expression, filled 6e042d6248 with longing, was 779d05a24d incredibly gentle.c1ceb7351c3bd1ce

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In contrast, recalling those times f67ba1a927 made Han Jeongun uncomfortable, so 7f853e60de he directly expressed his dislike.5d8afb7080916955

“That was when we were kids. Two grown men lying side 09137cdb5a by side is gross.”c3dadc0216ac514a

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“Then I’ll sleep on the sofa. Is that okay?”e21d67bdab37ed85

Hearing his plea, 0a618e88e4 Han Jeongun glanced 2d7264c7d2 at the sofa.c4c8c12db20f7fc6

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For Goo Seonho to 7eacbf9d38 lie there, he’d have 86db195f36 to fold himself in ab38d5bbf8 half.8fade3a78cd79000

Han Jeongun shook 6ba7cd77e1 his head immediately, 49c649a037 but Goo Seonho b249c9c10b persisted without pride.ecdb9933c1508f62

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“The floor’s fine too. I don’t even d0d9b31fb7 need a blanket. Just let me stay here.”7304f6408de0003c

Han Jeongun let out a bbd7e18530 heavy sigh.f9df7a4ccdfb9643

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He resisted the urge eba419c36f to shout for him 025615aef1 to leave immediately, suppressing d6f3663b01 his frustration.52bdeeea9355cb8d

Fine, he’d endure for a 346e88f5d5 few days. He’d be at 6ea3250ab4 work most of 4e30ac8205 the time, so 635de06582 they wouldn’t have 63d3fba719 much time to 5229a30d1f see each other.da0af8ccf90b11ae

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Goo Seonho wasn’t financially 4e24657e0c strained, so maybe he’d 88a2930b13 find a place tomorrow.49c33260ea3cc0cf

“Don’t stay too long. Find a place and 4499ffcc15 move out as soon dd63541383 as possible.”afa0edc9c3c378a6

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When Han Jeongun gave his e18337c52a consent, Goo Seonho’s face lit 25c4efe3ff up with a radiant smile.ffe8aaf4ddce6c73

It was so bright that 9ade7168dd Han Jeongun momentarily imagined flowers 4997adffb0 blooming around them.13864fccd6566701

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He watched his 203fa502c9 sweet expression in 53ffd8daf6 a daze. Seeing him so 0d6a3a85f1 happy made Han 1654d4e396 Jeongun regret being 8f4319d534 harsh earlier.e7ad928c3724ee8f

He should have 5c2573f44d been more composed bf806d0adc from the start.79b84158f8853ccb

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From the moment 0dfdcb8cb6 Goo Seonho rang b095857182 the doorbell until 38e1b141a0 now, Han Jeongun 1c1903a321 had been restless.a44c2a88fc17ccb2

He didn’t know what he 204e469704 wanted, but he wanted to 7d4189bcf7 appear mature like a hyung.959f4656091e115f

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He resolved not to dc9a532c55 act foolishly during their 50a5e18789 short time living together.afe518ded7072dcf

Even though it was 3b42d2392f a temporary arrangement, Han e5e1f9267f Jeongun gave Goo Seonho 5a3e859df4 a section of his 31f869e92f closet.37c0fc8914a9b050

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While Goo Seonho 99b8dcc005 unpacked his suitcase, 461027dece Han Jeongun changed 0186d6b959 the sheets on a6a77598c0 the bed he 535851f6d1 was giving up 1732c00da5 to the uninvited e9f6913711 guest.c2693a8810c5a6c5

How could he expect 6155f73683 someone who’d only slept b7e1c2410c on beds in America dba6322b4d to sleep on the 6a287e27d8 floor?1f4159a8310de5c0

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In truth, the 3a8ea7dea2 sheets had been 380d6c0c79 changed just two eb51f47f9e days ago, but 0227e40345 it felt wrong f2172bf5a2 to let Goo 28035c85d7 Seonho lie on 3e1f13f6dc the bed where 5084b123e3 Han Jeongun had 551d31d9b6 been intimate with 120bb2f0d3 his girlfriend just 47cfbf246c hours earlier.f4770ee8229f4964

After finishing the bed, Han a4011fefd4 Jeongun was about to leave 572112c353 the room when Goo Seonho b065ccf5f6 called him in a subtle 03b67a6b13 voice.ac844f6836355be2

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“Darling.”71920d3bdb9f77e9

“…!”ba1cd9fe815c4846

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Darling? Startled, Han Jeongun 6910eb0c12 turned around and fbec076987 questioned Goo Seonho, 9ceb941dbe who was sitting e7ddcd7f8e on the bed 2065a4256b staring at him.94b618cc78f3ed4d

“What’s with the creepy talk? It’s giving me chills.”0c8781919a5610df

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Goo Seonho burst 8743c2d113 into laughter at d649955721 his intense reaction 1c4f73a9fb and apologized, saying 6c5938c71f something absurd.f5578a82db1129f5

“When Mina nuna called you darling earlier, it sounded so affectionate that I wanted to try calling you that too.”b12e25c44a412fd8

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Was it another thoughtless remark? As an adult, e703807bce Goo Seonho had d984acb0a6 become so unpredictable 2adfd1b59c that it was 9b33a96c4b hard to keep 1661c5ca70 up. If he wanted d7c239de1a to call someone 29e739f255 affectionately, he should a193a26208 find a partner. It was so random.c6fc405ca18056db

Han Jeongun had a lot cd4bbc0209 to say, but he didn’t 3bf6010ebe want to face his teasing afb4b0e4ad laughter anymore, so he just 55a281927f warned him.145307fd55cddf2c

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“It’s not funny, so don’t call me that again.”278e4a47d8b97e53

As Han Jeongun closed the c94c01e42a door, there was no response 902c3d5317 from behind. He reminded himself that Goo 41cfc2e890 Seonho had just turned twenty. He was still 3a67ebf6af naive and playful. Moreover, meeting the 0ef60e4946 hyung he used 4c98123cf4 to play with e5315c6d9c probably made him 5a74b85609 act more childishly.f3e941ab7b2e0033

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Standing in the living room, bfd1f0a9ad Han Jeongun pondered for a 4679562f6b moment. Though he wasn’t 99bb33aec4 as big as d25072ba24 Goo Seonho, sleeping 4aa673c01c on the sofa 9ebd862f91 was still uncomfortable. He had no choice 41e41f4d5c but to lay a 7c06bc1372 mat on the floor.013e15201deba9c4

The boiler was on, 4827ecfcc8 so it wasn’t cold, 08f25dc037 but the hard floor 05f855ed95 made his back ache, 457f694b0b and he tossed and 46042e02b0 turned for a long 0240a62799 time before falling asleep.c75c9323463cf50d

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The discomfort wasn’t e0eded8b6b just about the ab1ba9ed7e sleeping arrangement. Even with the 72ed4e0e95 bedroom door closed, 72c0908364 Han Jeongun was a93f10d1e6 acutely aware of ae71e18ff2 what lay beyond. When he first turned off c55971502d the lights, he couldn’t see 257846eba6 a thing, but as his 3f33f54a05 eyes adjusted to the darkness, dcee57b303 he turned to face the e42e536038 bedroom.ab4925f9d96c5913

Here it goes again. The strange symptoms 50ab4fb412 he thought he’d 999a137fb3 escaped ten years b1843dd8a5 ago were back. What is this? A kind of mental illness? Annoyed, Han Jeongun 3917426557 pulled the blanket 69793bdce8 over his head.60f684f2bebbea0e

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When he lived 804c2a645f as siblings with 75ae547bb2 Goo Seonho for d3be6db9a7 a month, his 9d6e4586c2 pale face would 23a9ed80d4 float in Han af1952ab60 Jeongun’s mind whenever e03bcc2402 they parted. It wouldn’t stop until 03aced3142 he saw his face 1e2f238660 with his own eyes. Is this what they 66cafad4b9 call withdrawal symptoms?40ea5ed585a29585

Goo Seonho’s face had a 34afd65ca1 strange allure that made you 5bab442479 want to keep looking. People enjoyed having aesthetically pleasing ed9632d4bb objects around them. That’s why they 058419c116 continuously created ornamental 0454d30dda items. Han Jeongun thought ec284aa135 of Goo Seonho 2627978601 as one of 9ddfe1961b those.31b310ab087ea9bf

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“Sigh…”2efb743017e87f6b

Feeling suffocated, Han 2d0e90bd9b Jeongun sighed unconsciously, 75d05fcade and suddenly his d533f8729e lower abdomen tingled. It was a precursor bdcd0a7889 to an erection, and 4a4d128b0d he was bewildered.632e1c5abf849a42

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He hadn’t been thinking 319c718dce about anything erotic; he e2fd26bf4f was just recalling Goo 0097fd434d Seonho’s face. He wasn’t usually very sexual, 94b9dd613b and he had been intimate ed391be945 with his girlfriend just hours 19ee9fb1ce ago, so why was this 51a2cbf8bb happening?bcbd587628c553d1