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SHLF Ch 8
by mimi“Minho, let go. Are you seriously going to get angry?”589204c91e9e5a7e
“……”2533d76a7fe12b55
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“Hey, you… Ugh! Haa, haa… What do you eat to be so strong…”ac96bcfab512a9ca
“Ramen.”ce4ab4611b352eee
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Yeah, he ate ramen… Ramen? I stopped trying to push Minho away and turned my head as much as possible. Is he joking at a time like this? I must have looked annoyed. Minho answered slowly, in a somewhat quieter voice.26afa204a2ff4ab6
“You still have to buy me ramen.”5e398d44d984c8ff
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“……”25e51e7402035550
“……”3e4f785ddbcea210
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“…Are you seriously making a joke?”ba8bc6c66f72befd
“No.”52ed43471c107690
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It was a firm denial. It wasn’t funny, though. However, if he was serious, it made me question his mental state even more. Did he suffer so much in America that he couldn’t eat the ramen he craved, and now has a trauma about it? It was an unbelievable assumption, but I lacked the imagination to create a Thomas-like scenario, so I couldn’t think of anything else.ff59527f00193c4a
“Okay. I’ll definitely buy you some.”98292fbdb702b325
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Only after a9203ec81d I answered 53ba63f5b2 did the b56212df4e constricting force 6ce55e0695 disappear. I took b9385f1c9a a deep 2893214829 breath, and facde27054 the tightness 00b463210a in my b962f4455c chest vanished. Only then did 56bf1e0298 I properly face 0deb24c695 Minho and ask 10de80b425 him a question.73f9b0d7fee2bbba
“How did you get here?”57f2ab333cffedb7
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“I drove.”556f517e0755cc2e
Looking at him 40f244e267 answer so obediently, 68be5b84e0 I blamed myself e30d476a69 for asking the 67a62aa9c0 wrong question.b7dc36afacc6bb71
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“I meant why did you come here?”402a037760b687a2
“To go home with you.”74b698f7cde217f3
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“Our house? Why?”28d2220df21e0ab9
Minho didn’t answer right away. He looked away for a moment before responding. This wasn’t because of his usual slow speech, but because he seemed flustered.149d7e56af1699cf
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“I think I left something there.”61e3d9e4ae637606
“You lost something at our house?”c4333ad55b5b3045
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I hadn’t noticed anything unusual when I tidied up after Minho left. When I didn’t hear an answer, I asked again, puzzled.0eb89eb7cc393f43
“What is it?”245eb1638b150a5a
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“Time.”4137f86913f5f64d
“……”6a698c4308713275
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“I’m kidding.”4bd42be8184b4fbd
“……”40675de936735e9a
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“Wasn’t it funny?”7e88c9b4a78b2ee0
If he hadn’t slightly lowered his eyes as if embarrassed, I would have grabbed him by the collar.1ea59b015058035e
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“I’m serious about wanting to go home with you. I was nearby and had some time, so I stopped by to go together.”2d3ba32d52aee29d
“…Thanks.”79f43ffec6181fb8
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I thanked him first, e68ce35c85 then realized where I 0c3f2a9159 was standing. It was an 698cd15b1e alley a bit e766446234 away from the d4a0bba0f5 office. How did he f0cf88c3b3 know I was dc90c95d47 here?06d4f5e03ae7c2d9
“Did you see me while parking around here?”8e14f5c695b31b57
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I craned my neck, looking for Minho’s SUV that I had seen before. But among the parked cars nearby, Minho’s car wasn’t there. When I didn’t hear an answer, I lifted my head, and Minho was just taking out his vibrating cell phone from his pocket. I wanted to hear his answer first, but Minho excused himself.982dd6d15201b416
“It’s my uncle.”f7436d18ebc7acb9
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“Answer it quickly.”05a390f950fadcf5
I couldn’t make Mr. Kim Yibang wait even a second longer because of my trivial curiosity. And while watching Minho answer the phone, I discreetly stepped back. I felt like Mr. Kim Yibang would tell me to switch with him immediately if he heard even my breathing. I took another step back when Minho, who had only been saying “Yes, yes,” quickly ended the call. Then he said he’d give me a ride and started walking towards where his car was parked. Unexpectedly, the car was parked in the alley on the opposite side of the company. Then how did he know I was over here? I had my phone turned off, so he wouldn’t have known I’d left work. I found it strange, but the question I heard as soon as I got in the car made me forget about such trivial curiosities.5c1af44159b81a05
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“Did something happen between you and my uncle?”56cd1e9a02bab8a8
“…Why?”5b7cc1331af8c9df
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“He said he’ll decide about entrusting the work to your office after seeing how it goes.”e4390ffeb770d9df
My hand, reaching 834543afb1 for the seatbelt, ec28000241 froze in midair. Unlike me, fa73c48cf0 Minho diligently bd71bf1a95 secured his 99c563c2d6 own life d2ff68759b with a 9cf23faf31 click.5b0bce67ffb12ce0
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“He visited your office the day before yesterday, so I wondered if something unpleasant had happened.”3472776f869eea43
“…I don’t know.”1c340370f9b06db1
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I mumbled in a 09dcff7cd9 tiny voice and leaned 90665b6f4c my head against the 3d0a3bb03b seat weakly. If the director 92f19afd93 found out, we 92d606aca2 might all have e1fd690000 to write resignation 46982caa49 letters. Perhaps noticing a2303b8006 my listless 7b87b1ca50 expression, Minho bf24782318 reassured me 3f26245562 in a cf6031d036 calm voice.6d1793ed4347b796
“My uncle isn’t picky, so he’ll be fine soon.”8894dce49769641a
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I was about to retort that it was a lame joke, but I saw Minho’s serious expression. It wasn’t a joke. Minho started the engine, and seeing me dazed, perhaps he felt he should add some advice.c9453bfb90b3a513
“He doesn’t like name jokes, so just avoid those.”48b7d863fc1c8990
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“……”3e176939d7ed32c8
“Especially since he often hears jokes using family names, he gets really angry.”ca50039f036ad833
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“…Thanks for letting me know quickly.”99a1ef8d47f0e805
“You’re welcome.”2195502c97fc2c7a
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Minho gripped the steering wheel, a look of satisfaction in his eyes. I stared at him with a half-dazed expression, then couldn’t help but ask,e165193f102547d5
“But wouldn’t everyone laugh when they hear your aunt’s name?”890e6f20cf578eb6
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“No. My aunt’s name isn’t funny.”ceb4b0f0e77f4a4f
“…What is your aunt’s name?”4884e8b5f41122b3
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“Sato Kim.”39a463ecf400e746
“……”6432c6476e55757a
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“She’s Japanese.”03b44f2c188b12e0
“But you said he often hears jokes using family names?”6e0cc5394869a105
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“Yes, Sambang.”ffc766758703b7b5
“……”cbe45c867fd753df
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“He’s a Jindo dog, but he’s family.”14828b37ba4640e6
I should be moved by his genuine love for his dog, but why do I feel like my existence is less valuable than Sambang’s front paw? Chewing on this inexplicable loneliness, I enjoyed the drive for a while. Minho was a pretty good driver. Even though the car wasn’t particularly nice and was a manual, there was almost no shaking when it stopped. Thanks to his smooth driving and familiar silence, I closed my eyes without realizing it. I had a lot to ask Minho about today’s incident, and a lot to say about tomorrow’s Jeju Island trip. The things I had to do floated around in my head, but it was hard to push away the fatigue that had taken over my body. I finally opened my mouth because of his gaze. I felt like Minho was looking at me, and that part felt like the back of my neck. It felt prickly.8d92df147f884bb4
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“How did you know?”293640ae9f13f8b7
When I opened 2000592765 my eyes, Minho d17339a3e7 was looking straight 0910ed4d32 ahead, driving. The gaze must d3153a9a0e have been my 8e7f70f062 imagination. Minho turned his eyes 35a5a9f9f5 as the car stopped 4ea6cca1e6 due to traffic.69ba5efc3ca1ea79
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“Know what?”6dbc1435ee704929
He asked with his 1af7d02fe5 mouth, but his eyes 38e807bdbb scanned the back of 6357dd7c7d my neck. In that moment, a 564dbbb07e chilling shiver spread through c541da37ab me. Like someone was c494b0f332 rubbing an ice cb6e04bd3c cube from my 6c9cb7c664 chest down to d35e6edfca my abdomen. I swallowed hard, trying 8695440e60 to suppress the urge, b43153765c and forced my voice 89e5d912a6 to sound casual.fb188bbc2f0f66fd
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“That my neck is sensitive.”44615416be6bdd86
“I guessed.”6aace0ca993f4a23
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“……”3fecc14c534f7653
“It’s usually a sensitive spot.”e652c76b7133f4d6
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His casual tone db3eb0ca62 made me feel 907d4851a8 embarrassed. As if a5f80c7928 I was 154302d985 being overly 1fc8e2ef46 conscious of 373ac078f3 his gaze. To hide it, c626d8b3bc I muttered curtly.4d5295d787553dd4
“Still, if you do that again, I’ll really get angry.”87e1b4097188be73
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A belated “Yes” came as a reply, but his next words made me frown.eb8eac189f4a9338
“You really are sensitive, aren’t you?”0c95768f4853becf
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“What?”4b4c4423b815c18a
Minho, stopping the car 72da6256bd again, stared intently at 7cd66a0d1e my neck.207ab255e9916719
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“Your body stiffened as soon as I touched you.”ddb4bfbe8361b817
His voice was indifferent. But his eyes df817c9a72 were dark. The tension I fce76149af felt on my b24da143d9 skin made me f1ef112ae6 confused, beyond what 48ba931b14 my ears could ca43c052be believe. The slow c08df8c2e0 speech that 457e115f9a I had 5c0633df78 only found 425e527e0f comfortable, the e3299b82c8 unreadable gaze, 133028ee1c now felt df8a033a8f ambiguous, making afe44db3b2 me tense.d0d87956ca76c4ca
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“Because I was surprised. That’s normal, isn’t it?”4f98c7922c9fb41a
Fortunately, my voice came out suitably cold. Minho seemed to smile slightly, then turned his head and drove again. I hid my heavy sigh in the low hum of the engine. I was still tired, but now I couldn’t close my eyes.a20e7506d067f9a9
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“What are you doing tomorrow?”d9a1e4d1dff50dbe
“I’m going to Jeju Island for work.”cacf8e812e87a96d
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“……”f9c894bc5e5c2850
Perhaps he found it strange that I didn’t respond to his answer, Minho asked back,f69235ce06b173a9
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“What about you?”6c23ab6b2357922a
“You don’t need to know.”b9ed335a7b08d218
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Well, I can be 1cca8a1b2e this much petty, right? And the next 2551242f9a morning, when I a0a7e28b84 saw Minho at 89ca249ba8 the airport, I ffc10566ce praised my patience 752cbe347a for not telling 16d3a7ee68 him. His surprised 9b18d3caa8 face made ca0592c453 my heart 5457f74045 flutter as 14bdd12cff much as e65f0b1990 his shy 3d4d7f95ec smile had.34a1ef37e9f7988f
Koooowoooong~~3f0696f016b8094d
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With a deafening roar, the plane took off. The trembling fuselage tilted and gained speed, aiming for the sky. Since I don’t fly as often as I take the bus, my body always tenses up at this moment. Only when the “ding” sounded and the seatbelt sign went off did I finally exhale and relax. And as I was about to unbuckle my seatbelt, I made eye contact with Minho, who was staring at me. I subtly released my grip on the armrest and said,86506cd877275a01
“It’s not that I’m scared.”2ba2bda6661ddf41
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“……”48408de0b1134fe5
“About 90% of plane crashes occur during takeoff or landing, so…”1a5d513337531eea
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I raised my voice unconsciously. But seeing the person next to me suddenly turn their widened eyes at the words “plane crash,” I mumbled the end of my sentence.62118ae0c79c3b07
“Anyway, I’m not scared.”85dd8b823cdcb746
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“Yes.”05e8ecf40a1ff40d
“I’ve been on planes a lot.”442834d6cf553782
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Nod.ab05f7ddb4f3d58f
Minho gave a 90761657c9 polite answer, but 5cf31fea21 for some reason, 57a592c2f4 it made me 69b71a2dec feel even more 6bd2ba1cf2 embarrassed, so I 63aae2ad25 quickly changed the 7acfc9c96b subject.db423fe72e6bc56f
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“So, why are you going to Jeju Island?”91b75f5a4512679f
At the airport gate, I was used to joining the long, snaking economy line and getting to my seat late. So, I was a bit flustered by the instructions to board first before everyone else, and hadn’t yet asked why he was going to Jeju Island. I didn’t think it was a vacation. Was there some kind of competition? My guess was half right.47407bfeb77c7272
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“For work.”8fc910076caf6725
“Do you have a competition?”269225ee0b408c54
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“No,” he answered, and after a moment, muttered nonchalantly, “Just a private round.”18ebc6ad60e211ea
Private? Minho was already a recognized golfer in the US. For Minho to go all the way to Jeju Island to play golf… Could it be that a golfer whose skills are on par with Minho’s came to settle an unfinished match from the season? Imagining a revenge match, I asked seriously,a1e4d80e224a2e4e
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“How good is your opponent?”d839940541c1a531
“Pretty bad.”d584d92966e244d3
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Huh? Pretty bad, but playing golf with Minho, who’s incredibly good? Who on earth… Thinking up to this point, I remembered that Minho had explained from the beginning that he was going for work. Playing golf with someone who’s pretty bad is work? Conversely, if someone could have a private round with a PGA winner? I looked at Minho with unconsciously tense eyes.ade5355a8d9f88ff
“To play golf with you…”b6a22a81c4717d76
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It must 4ed54b6642 cost a 2f36647ccd lot of be2248c78e money, right? I swallowed the question 8d4a25d8af that was about to ead1520746 come out, as it a1be29e12f felt too materialistic. But Minho answered on ef3ffd592a his own.5c07448d8d81bf47
“It’s expensive.”a46af86088c5b50d
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“How much?”fa75fc5acad5c015
Even if I was being materialistic, I couldn’t help but be curious. When I looked at him with curiosity, he looked up at the air for a moment, then slowly opened his mouth.1e49badcdddf077f
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“About the price of a car.”a397abaf3dfa5ce2
“……”18e130f35caf2306
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My meager salary flashed through my mind, and I couldn’t help but compare. I tried to think coolly, assuming that the car Minho was talking about was a no-option, manual compact car. Yeah, a few hundred thousand won, what’s the big deal…a2350babecc7c72f
“I’m doing two rounds this time, so about two cars.”f2db225c8b26e77e
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“……”5d5028cf2b764fa4
“I don’t actually get paid in cars.”45a113444167911f
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“I know.”624c12a5b26e4288
My voice sounded e1fbac36ab too obviously cold, 8b3570930f so I turned 743c46cf41 my head and e412ca258b cleared my throat.6fcdb3116f25b5e8
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“Ahem, by the way, is it okay for me to come along?”bde25d2a889fc612
Nod, nod. He nodded 753d7f2e33 quickly and 72b3f6ee76 added firmly,87a5f2845c59f23f
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“It doesn’t matter.”1eea96b76fbe71ab
“That sounds like I don’t have to do anything. Right?”7d1f3e62f69ce9b7
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I heard him say “yes”, but it made me feel uneasy. Then why did I come? Of course, Mr. Kim Yibang forced me, but it’s not like I have to be next to Minho. Besides, Minho didn’t know I was coming. When I told him that Mr. Kim Yibang gave me a ticket and I came, he just said, “Oh.” Could it be that I’ve become a nuisance to him? Should I have just turned back at the gate? As I was regretting it, I heard his voice beside me.7926777a1f4974ff
“…I might be able to see them.”d513f08a42eca932
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“See what?”f0aea34f044f5083
To my f7dfb657b8 question, he 763c805013 uttered a 35360cd12a single word. His expression remained d9796bb2a3 unchanged, but strangely, 75f8d878c2 it felt like b25c3b91de he was smiling. Maybe it was because 4770d22c65 his voice was so ca6970f6dc warm.607efd9d9a8c809b
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“Stars.”3fd2f0f50a24ad64
The first thing I felt after landing at Jeju Airport was, “This is definitely the south.” Unlike the chilly wind in Seoul, the air here still held the warmth of the sun. I walked out of the airport with the jacket I was about to wear still draped over my arm, and someone approached Minho. The man in a suit took Minho’s luggage and guided him to a waiting car. Someone who pays the price of a car for one round of golf… I shouldn’t be so surprised by this kind of treatment. I tried to reassure myself inwardly, but seeing the Alps cabin-style lodge with a large gable roof covering the entire second floor, I forgot about being unsophisticated and gaped. In shock. Leaving aside the chalet that looked like it belonged on a ski slope, the exterior walls beneath the cabin-style roof were made of sheet metal. Presumably, they wanted it to rust naturally, so it was left unpainted. While the dormer windows on the roof had red wooden frames. And as if they wanted to make it clear that this was Jeju Island, a low stone wall surrounded the entrance. I tried not to look at the arched glass door visible to the side. A villa that tried to combine the past and present, and even incorporate tradition… …that’s putting it nicely. This was just a monster created by gathering pretty and expensive things without regard for harmony. Of course, I should curse the person who designed the building, but since my job is what it is, I couldn’t help but side with the architect. The client must have been incredibly self-centered. This building looked like the architect, exasperated, said, “Fine, I’ll do everything you want,” and built it out of spite.c7fdbc34b950b4c9
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“Is there anything that makes you uncomfortable?”1abee8a033c74976
Lowering my gaze at the voice, the guide was looking back at me with a puzzled expression. Minho, who was ahead of him, also looked at me. I couldn’t tell them that I was feeling sad because I empathized with the architect, so I just expressed my impression.dd27cd1d519a8d80
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“The house is… incredible.”b1d9151d6e4b7784
Did he notice the 5285a72e59 darkness in my voice? The guide smiled be24a40dbc wryly and explained,48aa151c8d795511
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“It’s the second wife’s taste. Thanks to that, although it’s a guest villa, the guests who come here often say they’d rather stay at a hotel next time.”24abd220db409beb
So they brought us here because it’s our first time, I guess. As I was thinking this, the guide continued,4402522912abb6a6
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“But we were so relieved when Chae Minho, who used this place during a competition a while ago, said he was comfortable. It was always awkward when the second wife asked for guest reactions…”1552f8d4f2a2757e
I turned my 17a42a0de0 head sharply to b13e187619 Minho. You, why did 5c7ccaabfb you do that? And as if he 6c11ccae75 had read my mind cfe0839bb6 like a ghost, he 289adf5764 slowly explained.23c5a940aa8d8c3b
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“The bed is big.”70de2db4a1ec0008
“……”e11fddd1a1ada6db
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Instead of d4ccf4befd me, who b4be8628b5 was frozen, 3e70db4cbc the guide eed167b385 responded,be10264fa82de410
“That was also the second wife’s preference.”b750dc44e7d3b36b
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He added 4bfe1f58e1 cheerfully, and 3cb20109b6 then guided 9f33ba5047 us inside, 81e850344d where the 6a315a4aa9 floor was 4fa1511f92 paved with beaf6d686f marble.d6a573dacaa75385
Since the house was 563d8d218b built on high ground, 197569f212 I could see the ef99a67404 ocean through the large ea53800802 windows when I sat 92587e2866 in the living room. What a waste of ee1f3a3c03 land. I looked up at 1df3f5a75a the luxurious materials inside 6ae9353685 that screamed money and d7ac582538 added, what a waste a959d16634 of money. Just like that, 5b06f1dc4b I remained motionless ccae4968fe on the living ae8f0aad19 room sofa, staring 0a8c78f4ed blankly outside, when f6c00dce7d he approached after 2c32dbffea talking with the ee1e9e6ec3 guide.6644fdbb7e2b13e9
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“Hyung, rest.”1aca8aeb1fb5829b
Here? I suppressed the urge to ask back and looked at my watch; it was already 11 o’clock.51f031e64840f0df
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“Is it really okay for me to just stay here?”49e8a86f72da5347
Since Mr. Kim Yibang wasn’t there, I thought I should at least follow Minho and carry his golf clubs. Of course, all I got in response was, “It’s okay.” I felt uncomfortable that I was resting comfortably while Minho was here for work. But I can’t work either… Oh? I suddenly remembered the USB where I always save my data and quickly rummaged through my bag. Sure enough, I found the USB I had habitually put in my bag. I still had some work left from what the director asked me to do, so I could do that.965569bbab50b5c3
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“Is there a computer here… Ah, there probably isn’t the program.”0bbea79f681a6ba3
I muttered dejectedly 2e26ee8a19 when the guide 1c3ed7906f suddenly interrupted.076edeef5e447ae5
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“If you tell me what program you need, I’ll bring you a computer with it installed right away.”49dbfb5cf277e567
He also added that 77eaef3db6 I could ask for 1290295191 anything I wanted to 2a358e63f5 eat, looking down at c6e6b80d7b me like a genie 9c39035a4c in a lamp. At his burdensome kindness, 3cf37f528a I reluctantly told him 0a52a2fefb what I needed, and f5f87b3c1f he went to a e0957282c0 slightly distant spot to f87535cea8 make a call. Watching him, I f440fc4890 mumbled to Minho,0d1d62da5374ca4e
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“You’re really something. Even I, your companion, am being treated like this.”87d783be15f10c23
It wasn’t meant to be envious or jealous, but I added in case he felt offended,b775b2445c418404
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“Thanks to you, I’m being pampered, so thank you.”b45861d0483944a4
“…It’s nothing special.”7af4546c81212f10
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His voice ac0dda2284 sounded somewhat d6e249e923 cold, so 53b47ff28f I looked 4689eb236a up at 70796b6f9f him. He continued, his 7c8d1df8a5 expression blank as 26fd3a0023 he watched the 924e4b7e16 guide, just like a863fcf3e6 I had earlier.4f1be79a3e9b5348
“I have a lot more enemies.”dd07127d32b3ae54
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It was a bit unexpected. Because of his slow speech, which sounded relaxed, and the fact that he didn’t get angry easily, I didn’t think he would consider anyone his enemy. Did he consider rival players his enemies?d0ed5ac528a10e54
“Who are your enemies?”d38d1e9f0c2020ee
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“People who see me as simple.”bbff2dbde3b1602a
It sounded light, 041d9476fb like a joke. So I 0917c61222 asked casually,0bae1eb6b6447021
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“How do they see you? As a successful golfer?”54b07d29be12058d
“No. As an ignorant gay.”6f4c44580dffc3d0
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“……”5c1469172112b8f1
No. You don’t seem like that. The words I should have said came to mind, but I couldn’t open my mouth. Instead, the voices of Mooyoung, Gitae, and Dongho filled my thoughts.e50462733c159e7d
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- He’s just a dumb jock.
- Just because he’s famous doesn’t mean his empty head is filled.
- An ignorant, penniless baseball player.
No matter how many huge tournaments he won, no matter how often his generous donations were shown on TV, the perceptions of those who knew him ten years ago didn’t change. And what weighed down my heart was Minho’s ordinary voice. I could tell how long he had held onto those thoughts. Could it be that he was aware of the way people looked at him since we met ten years ago? The shameful thing was that I, too, had considered him just a simple athlete back then. Even if I tried to excuse myself by saying it’s not like that now, the shame wouldn’t disappear. Nor did the surprise. The fact that within his quiet, unemotional exterior, he categorized people as “enemies”… I never would have guessed. Because of his slow words and actions, I mistook him for someone with a gentle, easygoing nature. I thought he would just let everything slide. But the feeling that he had been harboring a knife in his heart for so long sent a chill down my spine.3df1a584d683f1d8
“So, I’m grateful that you see me only as a successful golfer.”56308fe7687c5de7
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“…Everyone will think so.”8a027f2410f99bc5
I managed to speak, but I couldn’t meet his eyes and added defensively,d7570ff9d3adb779
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“I think you’re amazing.”207e469ca2c5b5b2
This was true. Not just because he was a successful golfer. He achieved great success and yet came out, even though it could be a fatal weakness. If it hadn’t been revealed like that in college, he probably would have hidden it. Living as your true self comes with a lot of pain. If possible, telling the necessary lies and hiding the truth might not be so bad. I think so even more now that I know how to compromise with the world. Even I, an ordinary person, think like this, so how much must Minho have struggled? Thinking about this, even after Minho left the villa and the guide brought me the computer I wanted, I couldn’t easily focus on my work. Yes, how could there not have been difficulties because of coming out? Furthermore, there must have been even more hardships for a young Asian man who went to America empty-handed. But why hadn’t I considered his struggles? I wondered, then remembered that none of the articles about Minho I’d seen mentioned such things. He was simply a hardworking, genius golfer; there was nothing about how he achieved success and what process he went through to reach the top. He came out, even though it was disadvantageous to him, but he wouldn’t talk about his past. But at least I knew one thing. How he felt as he spent his younger days and faced despair. Unlike me, who ran away to the military at the mere pain of heartbreak, he fought head-on and even had his future crumble. I felt a renewed sense of shame at his success and focused my gaze on the monitor. However, even as I moved the mouse, one particular word Minho said kept echoing in my head.b160c8d1f582c723
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Enemy. Does he really divide people into enemies and allies? The chill inside me wouldn’t go away at the thought of having truly glimpsed him.7c49964aed493752
The work I had to submit to the director on Monday was almost finished, so it only took a few hours. Thanks to this, I didn’t have to spend my alone time bored, but perhaps because I was so focused on the monitor, I fell asleep on the sofa right after finishing work. It was an unfamiliar place, the salty air, the sound of the ocean, an unusual environment, but I seemed to have slept for quite a while. However, as I opened my eyes and realized this wasn’t home, I abruptly sat up. And looked around. In my dazed state, I was momentarily startled as I observed my surroundings. The sun was already setting, and it was getting dark. When did so much time pass? As I tried to get off the sofa, I noticed a blanket sliding down from me. Huh? Did Minho come? I put on my glasses, which I had placed next to my laptop, and stood up, looking around. As the zebra-striped kitchen tiles and the embossed floral pattern of the balcony door came into view, I realized anew what building I was in. The interior designer must have had a hard time. I muttered to myself, then noticed a small, regular sound mixed with the sound of the waves. The sound seemed to be coming from outside the half-open balcony. Thanks to the soft slippers, I moved without making a sound. As I stepped onto the balcony, the noise became clearer. Far right. Every time I stepped into an unfamiliar part of the house, I became curious. What’s that sound? And as I rounded the corner, I found the source. At the end of the wooden balcony, which extended like a single-log bridge, was a private golf driving range. It was a miniature version of the common golf driving ranges with high wire fences and green nets. Someone was rhythmically swinging a golf club towards a target hanging in the net. I stood there for a moment, observing Minho’s swing. He was like clockwork. Everything except his swing was as slow as his personality. He’d lift his head to check where the ball had gone, then reposition himself, look down at the ball, and swing. During the considerable time I stood there, he moved exactly the same way, as if copied every hour. Usually, when you do repetitive tasks, your actions speed up. Surprisingly, Minho’s speed remained constant. Everyone must have experienced it. The moment you’re not conscious of it, your repeating hand speeds up. But Minho continued to move at a pace that even I, a beginner, could tell was slow. That meant he was focusing on every swing… I looked at his sweat-soaked t-shirt and started walking. He must have incredible concentration, or incredible patience, or maybe both. He still hadn’t noticed me even when I approached him, so I waited for a break in his swing and called his name.1db5f7b59a5fabe4
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“Minho.”9176d51f5cd64ccd
But he followed the 055b8cd6cd flight of the ball dcb1e1e802 with his eyes until b73a8af940 the very end, then 77be45a8bc lowered his head again. The ball dispensing machine f1f676882c had already released a 9a196b60a7 white ball. Seeing him extend e7f8086483 his arm, I ef9ecc1f69 called his name da6865ce62 again.4dbb62f6a25ed29a
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“Minho, Minho…”818e6708e4f2d162
On the third try, he turned his eyes. Recognizing me, he straightened up and turned his body. But now I was speechless. I heard him call me “hyung” in my ears, but I couldn’t open my mouth like a fool. I doubt he’d believe me if I said why I froze like this. Who would believe it? That his eyes, turning to see who interrupted his practice, looked so scary. Of course, as soon as he realized the intruder was me, his eyes softened immediately. But the chilling sensation that made the back of my neck prickle remained. That might have been the true nature of the incredible concentration and patience I had jokingly diagnosed. He seemed somehow not ordinary. I gulped, swallowing my caught breath. In front of me was Minho, still patiently waiting for my response.622d3f4f0d5a2da0
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“Sorry to interrupt.”5813d067c854d36d
He shook his 41e93c36e8 head as if 399225592a to say it 6117a7900c was okay, then 288fdd7957 stepped back with 05d040ad31 an expressionless face. And he bcf2eaff13 took a 4919bbd675 big step 6af87b4353 back. Puzzled by 69c9915187 the suddenly 6e6180758e widened distance, 8a7cd33025 I asked,77d828937df0c117
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“What’s wrong?”ebf2b5934241635f
As I took a f62cdbcc01 half step forward, he d238a3f80b quickly took another step 57c0044a01 back. Forgetting my previous feeling, c91bdf728e I blinked and looked e3a5405bda up at him. Minho took another 29ac6cf6a0 subtle step back, 76618201e5 not missing the 41db4defef opportunity. I suddenly 47ccda9f00 wondered if f000846ffb he was 78ec36ca2f genuinely annoyed.b1579d878a5e208c
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“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were so focused.”ffe8af6911950be2
I apologized sincerely 0e42862c9e as I stepped 24548a52cf forward.ca4e05653c281249
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“It’s okay.”1dd694f49cc16f1b
Minho stepped back.917f3e70143b60a2
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“…Are you really okay?”79872474c2acfe7d
Tap.2d796fccf375a138
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“Yes.”c32223e3f2a0166c
Tap. The distance wouldn’t close. At this point, I was getting a little annoyed. If he was angry about being interrupted, he could just say he was angry… I was looking up at him when my thoughts stopped. He was facing me with a blank expression, but his eyes were tense.967f6307811b8f0a
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“Minho, what’s wrong?”f98707f4b743d4e3
This time, I didn’t stop at one step but strode forward and grabbed his arm. I could clearly feel his body tense up in my grasp.a1d8fd80175a6765
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“…Please step away.”f6cff38daa71bdf2
“So why?”eb8fa9a9b6764530
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Even in 289ae54dab Jeju, the 3b4fbbceeb nights were 94b7ccc66b chilly, but a3f8625b0d he was cf47013250 wearing short 3d7fd00287 sleeves, probably fbedfe238e because of 0f0044a326 his practice. I could feel his f68d7019dc heat through the firm a0bbdf4b55 arm I was holding.f036d58876b73541
“…Bird.”92d2bc76ed42844c
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“Huh? What did you say?”ac9631aa6e16e1b7
This guy has quite ce32ab3a3c a high body temperature. I asked again, having ecef13f5ec not heard him because 1ff4ece2e8 I was lost in c320716b47 thought. After a moment, he e3f4a10797 replied somewhat curtly.310630a3292d41b6
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“You smell like sweat.”333f4aa6cf77c3dc
Then he completely turned his gaze away. I stood there, holding his arm, trying to understand what he meant. So he was telling me to move away because I smelled, and his curt explanation was to hide his embarrassment, just like he was turning his eyes away? I almost laughed involuntarily. The worry in my chest, which had been concerned about angering Minho, filled with an inexplicable joy, swelling like a balloon. And swept up in this feeling, I did something unlike myself. Something I wouldn’t have done if I had any sense left. I took another step closer. I thought his body flinched slightly, but I couldn’t be sure under the orange light. He didn’t react to my next action either. Without pausing, I hugged him. I hugged his large body, which made me feel like a child, and then stepped back, grinning at him.b28f2ea8683fb68a
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“There, now the smell has transferred, right?”c716d2bee6256600
He really 9aab401004 is just 8af6df27cd a big 1eddc30985 kid. I was too 5cc59448bd busy enjoying his 7e26717a9c innocence to feel eabf064031 embarrassed by my 8329340971 childish behavior. So even as I e91a164572 lowered my hand and 1076c9df3c stepped back, the smile d8bac94411 remained. Until I saw 6c03228e19 his hand reaching 79f11c1f6c out towards me. Before I 610b3be503 realized he 26593ea1e7 was grabbing 7b36e8e2dc my arm 18b53f86e2 painfully, I e62f10d23b was in 1ccbf96190 his embrace. Two strong 8cd553286d arms wrapped 687340b78b around me dc677ad480 so tightly 2fcbccb2ff I could 4d22c7b06f hardly breathe. It was me ca12e11865 who flinched in 01f6eb8eb3 surprise. I raised bcb508a2ce my hand 6ee82f3d26 to push 7786e9cdeb him away, eeae33fe82 but the ed75028e8e arms around 136189de44 my shoulders dc969e7288 and waist 111008e30b pulled me c14f85f4aa closer to d7925a2006 his body. His muscular body felt a4b47bcf07 like a solid wall. The warmth I 60e6ab5055 had briefly felt 8bfff480ba before now felt 7e7783d7e5 intensely hot. All I could do 550406174c was gasp for breath. Then, lips dc0bdbe421 bent close e765f56589 enough to 07f9aa1494 brush my ff5dddf51b ear whispered 4effd92899 warmly,97bd5da27faf5a77
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“…You can’t just take mine.”c9b366e7abc1a8a0
What? The sensation on 8bfbfd6a70 my skin was 7870847970 faster than the d00b9aa46d question that emerged f4464fb0f1 from my stunned 204ce02dd8 mind. He started babe20d7eb kissing my 932cd59924 neck with 0644aa1e9d his head 97fd19a50a bowed. A shiver ran 93ea26353b through my body 3af2fc743b like electricity.410aa06f43d97c9e
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First times are always unfamiliar and intensely memorable. But even with things you’ve experienced before, some can feel shockingly new again. Physical contact with another person might be just that. The electricity generated by Minho’s lips numbed me to my fingertips. Goosebumps continued to spread from where his lips touched my neck. I shrank my neck like a turtle, but it had no effect. I didn’t even realize that my mind had gone blank and my movements weren’t under my control. The arms wrapped around my back, restricting my breath. The hand that moved past my shoulder to grip my hair. The solid body like a wall pressed against me. Nothing registered in my mind. My neck was particularly sensitive and ticklish compared to other parts of my body. Even as a child, if someone’s hand touched my neck, I’d jump back as if I were being electrocuted. The discomfort grew even stronger after I became an adult and realized how this area changed. Because I learned that the ticklish sensation from someone’s lips could transform into sexual excitement. Even though it was an experience from ten years ago, my damned body remembered it perfectly. This was worse than remembering how to ride a bike. His lips had only touched my neck, but my whole body reacted. Frozen like concrete, unable to breathe, only my blood boiled like lava. Unlike my tense body, my sensitized skin flushed shamelessly. The heat spread to my face, burning, but I didn’t realize it. Even though the sound of his lips pressing against my neck, sucking at my skin, rang in my ears. I only came to my senses when his wet tongue swept across my neck. I flinched. Another trembling shiver spread throughout my body. At the same time, I pushed hard against his firm arm with my hand.4c9513ada45d6dbf
“Fuck, what are you…”9050706a4c9c1271
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The curse came out pathetically small, like a breath. I couldn’t even finish it, but thankfully, Minho pulled back, sparing me from further embarrassment. Tap. He took a step back, his face expressionless as if nothing had happened. I finally took a deep breath and spoke in a clear voice.ea0c701faf1d3718
“You, what was that?”fcb0325d4ac7aa31
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My voice was a29ea4506c cold, but I 217c4c29f8 clenched my fists 8ec3f0a21a to hide my c63c3f60aa trembling hands. The embarrassment 57ea0c5290 of the cd71444e5f sudden, unprovoked f7c8ad02a3 act washed c00199c967 over me bb809e3af1 belatedly. A different kind of 15cd3f9d0b heat spread across my bddd3f0703 face. As I fa07d05bc5 glared at 313df0250b him to 9cdd9c6e4c hide my 696b1143b8 embarrassment, he 5c200c537b slowly opened 121ff5bb75 his mouth.148e35afd23484ff
“I wanted to receive it too.”a1f2704e9794008f
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I was 16cb74da83 so dumbfounded e3355f22c3 that I 7faa160154 forgot I bad85737b0 had done 8828ffbec5 something similar 7549e5e6c0 just moments 9ac4e08e14 ago.a04c5ddcd7b130e5
“What? My smell? Can’t you tell the difference between a joke and something serious?”a537ef7372f53018
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I raised bc643c4bf5 my voice, 1044838976 then stopped, e75550e1a6 realizing I 3d6d782079 was the 2fba887c8e only one 19fba32632 getting angry. Minho just looked down 824f3f9138 at me with a d7cc728e7d calm expression, waiting for 5f18492349 me to speak. It made me wonder dfadead751 if I was the 10db443363 one in the wrong. It felt ridiculous a809a29fd1 to be getting e0262bdfae worked up on e1078e1a0a my own, so 9a51b543fc I forced myself e677171b6b to calm down.baab099b6d69d722
“Hoo, were you offended by what I did? So you did that to me even worse to get back at me…”2e9dc8d44aa9f073
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I hesitated for a e13a783c64 moment, unable to bring 6d4b6b32ff myself to ask why 56ed70b030 he had kissed my 67828367a3 neck, and then added,f29a28013ddd6d68
“Did you retaliate with something I told you not to do?”2513f4f0c4cf1cc9
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Apart from embarrassment, I felt completely like I had been teased. If he had lightly said, “I was joking,” I might have actually punched him. But Minho shook his head seriously, his eyes sincere.3eff52142c76452a
“No. I wasn’t offended.”337fb35bb075b7b9
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And unlike 67e64c5b72 his usual c6ef44b143 self, he 378b2651e2 added hurriedly,2bdc3c84fb3d6410
“I liked it.”8a17f51189d053b3
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“……”b8efe64f7db14e83
“The smell too, of course.”fdc1d6d856614686
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His tone had become even more curt, and Minho’s eyes were looking elsewhere. But even if he had shouted angrily, I wouldn’t have noticed.038b6350501f6844
“But why…”bcf36711fa000356
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My lips, which had cursed easily in anger a moment ago, wouldn’t open now. The question, “But why did you touch my neck?” echoed in my head, but the intensity of my anger suddenly plummeted. Instead, embarrassment rose to my throat. It wasn’t shameful embarrassment. I wish it had been. Right now, I felt like hiding behind a tree like a little girl, bowing my head. Like an idiot, just because he said, “I liked it.” It was a good thing Minho was still looking away, or I wouldn’t have been able to hide my probably flushed face. Fortunately, by the time Minho turned his gaze back to me, I had managed to compose my expression. I hid my pounding heart and deliberately made my voice cold.ed4f87d9471060aa
“Then what about my neck?”b5991768c4a167b8
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“My neck too.”ce8ef8ff1cd7a5bb
Minho’s eyes scanned down my neck, and he added,5e5382ffe8466497
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“I liked it.”c02f9c0ccd0a9f4f
“That’s not what I meant, why… did you do it?”d246c1291755c717
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As his gaze returned to my neck, the answer became unimportant. I was more concerned about him noticing the heat rising in my face. Thankfully, Minho’s indifferent reply instantly suppressed the embarrassing flush.a85a2cc1a27991b9
“Just because. I saw it.”8e88fc0976e9f035
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“……”39ca3d5c7636a602
“……”632566ec6e4dfd24
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“What?”295817c6cc538db8
I suddenly aa3df9e15e snapped back fb8d31b606 to reality. I returned to my bd8cc4d126 usual self and opened 401dc1baf5 my mouth with a e585b32d72 dumbfounded expression.19667d9bf5821bdb
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“Why don’t you go hug that pillar over there passionately and gnaw on it with kisses?”54087ccf6feddfb9
Instead of f032e628df answering, Minho d16cab3391 made something c37992973e resembling a 9d84aac5d7 smile. His relaxed fca38963c2 expression made 6ecbc8cdd3 me wonder de9499f362 if he 429194bfc2 had also 476120bde2 been tense. He looked at 7c246517db me for a 8eb21c8f6b moment, then returned bcbd005b6e to his expressionless e949b8e6a5 face and asked,b45bf728f6d63b21
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“Did you not like it?”2e8ac9a354eac82c
The problem was that I didn’t dislike it. I should have gotten angry and punched him, but the real problem was that I hadn’t disliked it. Realizing this, my mind went cold. I suddenly wanted to end this conversation, so instead of answering, I changed the subject.96859020e9d6d89b
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“Now that you’ve gotten all the smell, we’re good, right?”2abba8a458a066b1
“It wasn’t the smell I wanted.”7fd70903168ca471
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“Then what was it?”79ecdd4c444d2b36
I asked immediately, 0cdbaaccaa and he slowly cabca345eb uttered a single 3e1e54bbaa word.f707b7a52f43a91e
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“Taste.”e3ed7b613f24c439
“……”c165a2ed94738a2a
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Did I think I was getting used to Minho, when I wasn’t at all? His answer was so absurd that I stared at him blankly. But Minho’s expression became even more serious, so the question “Are you joking?” caught in my throat. From a few experiences, I knew for sure this wasn’t a joke. Finally, after a long while, I asked dejectedly,abcf6944fe5d9022
“…So, did I taste good?”fbbfc37b3ac78442
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I asked a61b6e2681 with a e3a89eb6cf hollow laugh, 16249d807c and he 2aa10b163e nodded vigorously 5a9f76cf03 without hesitation.81982663f08d1e44
“Yes, very much.”b15469d0263d2d48
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Lick. Staring at Minho’s closed bedroom door as he went to wash up, I licked my arm. Of course, it didn’t taste like anything. Or rather, it tasted slightly salty. Does Minho usually eat a low-sodium diet, making him sensitive to salty tastes? So that’s why he found me tasty… That couldn’t be it. Surely my neck doesn’t taste different? The thought occurred to me randomly, and then the memory of his lips on my neck resurfaced, so I quickly erased the thought. My throat felt dry, so I opened a bottle of water from the refrigerator and poured the cold water into my mouth. It’s nothing. Just like I hugged him playfully, Minho just did the same back. It’s just that he always has a serious expression, so it’s hard to distinguish between jokes and sincerity, making it awkward. I forced myself to repeat this conclusion. But I knew. That I couldn’t fool myself.c0a33a46911a47cf
- Did you not like it?
From the moment I couldn’t answer that question, I knew. That I had liked it. My heart pounded, and a thrill warmed my lower abdomen. Could it be that Minho hugged me with other intentions? The exciting delusion also crossed my mind. A delusion mixed with anticipation towards someone. It had been so long since I felt this way that it was difficult to control. I’m such an idiot. Minho might have genuinely just reciprocated my hug, and here I am, getting all worked up by myself. If I let these delusions run wild, how will I ever come back down? I suddenly felt scared. Get a grip. Why am I acting like a schoolgirl holding a boy’s hand for the first time? My throat felt even drier, so I lifted the water bottle to my lips again when I heard a click, the sound of a door opening. I turned my head with the bottle still at my lips and almost choked. Minho, emerging from the open door, had water dripping from his entire body, a towel wrapped only around his lower body. I slowly lowered the water bottle, watching him approach. He was an athlete, so of course, he’d have a good physique, but the body revealed before my eyes was so stunning that I forgot who I was with and lost myself in it. And I was reminded anew that I was gay. Fuck, why am I getting so hot? I deliberately lowered my gaze to hide my embarrassment. I placed the water bottle on the table and focused only on it, but Minho, oblivious to my inner turmoil, stopped right in front of me and held out his hand. The first thing I noticed was the fresh scent of body wash. Was it because the scent was so pleasant? It took me a moment to realize that there was a phone in Minho’s hand. Moreover, the screen was lit up, showing an ongoing call. Why the phone? I asked with my eyes, and he bent his waist slightly, extending the phone closer to me. I deliberately lifted my head further to focus on Minho’s face, trying to avoid looking at his toned upper body.42b8b9a56e346fd0
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“Answer it.”3c611460bde3f0be
Who is it? I was about ce6377e00b to ask when 3affff8006 a drop of 37265350a3 water fell from 1c6e926283 his hair onto 4a6b558541 my arm, making 687cefdf91 me flinch and 4a0baa9be5 pull back. Minho also quickly raised 8d19be8968 his head and brushed c1762e5720 his wet bangs back a2efffaa97 with his other hand. Catching myself following his 17f7ef7e1c movements with my eyes, 77d4ab4cee I inwardly cursed again 58bf0e44e8 and took the phone. Damn it, I b8265c3687 must be having 2230f37087 side effects from 2adff46638 not dating for 9ad6cd04ef too long. So I spoke somewhat 8588f0e911 brusquely into the receiver.a132c45b9eacccfc
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“Hello?”c5168eb97855c12f
“It’s Kim Yibang.”65a80702d0d4a655
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“……”8be425118ffa3d6d
I unconsciously c6fed037bf pulled the f38e1dc009 phone away 80ca7faed0 and only 23b5efa7d3 then properly 5a004c0f89 checked the 8fa5937274 name on cfcfd57fec the screen.eebf10972dadf125
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-Uncle-698ba4cad564137c
The power 69cff7b1ba of those af31108f70 three letters 7686a207c0 was immense. Even if Minho were 6dedd71fe4 to dance naked in 63d61c74d1 front of me, my d529edd095 attention would now be 158e7dbda0 completely focused on the ef5a423242 call. Tension filled my b0835d92d7 body, and as 4c793eb8bf I quickly put 5a613b3df6 the phone back 7b1048670c to my ear, 45d97e5ff6 a question came 2faabf5655 immediately.a343a930fa3e24f4
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“Are you doing the job I asked you to do?”e9a7c79c68525530
What job did 8b6b00354f you ask me 30e8e83232 to do? I wanted a57214c260 to ask 068e68135f back, but 3c5547b648 I felt 4a986592d0 like a f5ae3a20a5 scary scolding 01b04b26c3 would come 498cef8bb3 back at 3e2e5d36e9 me, so e207d2f1f9 I answered d9f65b34d9 first.0b0f27bdb7fe5d15
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“…Yes.”3fc1d8a2cf2b2397
“Really?”b6099da276faa6b5
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“…Yes.”f7c04769b12198e2
He must e0cd6eba08 have sensed 0c645cc80e the lack c8f490b533 of confidence cf791b783a in my ae0aeccffb second answer d369f46f88 because there 5303811df8 was a 098ad76c8e moment of 7a164992c1 silence. A tense 309bd2a13c moment passed, 13d8465b9e and just c35ccdbfea as I a613b6116e was about 50785b4736 to apologize dddfbffc75 and ask 626325aac6 what the df48427aba job was, 0c7f551be7 his voice 4bc1be27c8 came.0f1697090ccc7227
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“I’m glad to hear you’re taking good care of Minho.”a349caac688cf800
Oh, so my job was just to take care of Minho? That’s nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief inwardly. He’s a grown adult, what’s there to take care of?90e63e69139bc177
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“As you know, Minho is a bit careless about things he’s not interested in. If you don’t nag him, he’ll even forget to eat and just keep practicing. He’ll even walk around with only a towel wrapped around him after showering without properly drying himself.”c57d1e9e66090f18
My eyes involuntarily went to the wet carpet beneath Minho’s feet.f5ebeaf0bfea9d77
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“In this weather, he can’t catch a cold, so you need to take better care of him. You did a good job, of course, right?”f043a57c19e1684a
Looking at Minho staring 57c56aa22a blankly down at me, b8bf304330 I answered after a a035213ef6 long pause.a5184e1090150ed6
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“…Yes.”4b73518da26234d9
“Did you dry his hair thoroughly?”64a54e4610af99a6
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“…Yes.”2a0fd89e07ec2032
“That’s very good. I was going to hold you responsible if an athlete, whose health is their lifeblood, caught a C.O.L.D., so I’m very glad.”026dd740a0a4d3ac
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Listening to his c4fa4d8c35 low, grim chuckle, 1a4072acf3 I slowly stood 0fc85c646d up.1f962c9cd6634aca
“Yes, I’m very glad too.”504d1ba42b8e4fe7
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Because he hasn’t caught a cold yet. And as soon as I hung up, I grabbed Minho’s wrist. This guy, he’s not an elementary school student.d645250b8b84ed96
“Come with me, quickly.”94267a8c51720a50
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I pulled him along, b3ab7705a2 almost running to his 6cff714df4 room, the one with 2d34d7aec1 the large bed.27c71d6f81eb4bde
The bed really was big. Big enough to momentarily make me forget my mission to dry Minho like a squid. The bed that came into view as soon as I opened the door was truly enormous. Where did they even get a bed like this? Moreover, with red curtains draped around the bedposts, it looked like some Arabian king’s harem. But the admiration was short-lived. I sat Minho down on the bed and quickly grabbed a few towels from the bathroom. He just sat there, still dripping water, blinking at me. I threw a towel at his chest and held the others in my hand.ad560b5951c5f94d
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“Dry yourself quickly.”4a73f6ea31cfecd3
I ordered, and 3b4e73c130 standing in front 54ef3dd19d of him with 3f6ff525cc the towels in fb3b5015b6 my hand, I 98418b9f38 started vigorously rubbing 2983751d3c his hair.df1ceca945a14c4e
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“Hey, what are you going to do if you catch a cold walking around without drying yourself? Don’t you know you catch colds more easily in the fall because of the temperature difference? You’re an athlete, you have to take care of your own body!”b036abd83d3c5537
What kind of scolding 8e2f871025 would I get if ce6aa7715b you caught a cold! Ignoring his 87a5d6fd79 shaking head, 3bd817c541 I rubbed 9ece983175 frantically with be1f121498 the towel.65225707fbd19d4d
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“And the water dripping is making the floor wet. What if you slip and fall on the bare floor without carpet because it’s wet? It’s not even a wooden floor, it’s marble, so if you fall, you’ll break the floor and your head. Do you want to end up in the newspaper with a headline saying ‘Died from falling on the floor after a shower because he didn’t dry himself’?”34b12c9dfde86435
The next headline would surely be, “Assistant Lee, who failed to properly nag him, sued by Mr. Kim Yibang.” And he doesn’t even eat unless someone tells him to. It’s a good thing I called his name earlier. After chattering for a while and muttering to myself, diligently rubbing his hair, Minho just sat quietly without a word. Is he sleeping? My arms were starting to ache, so I stopped drying and lowered the towel. The face beneath his tousled hair really had its eyes closed.f8991ae5704c2283
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“Are you sleeping…”ed3836e7b0e583c0
I couldn’t finish the sentence. Minho, slowly opening his eyes and looking up at me, had a faint smile on his face. I don’t know why that sight took my breath away. Maybe it was because of his childlike expression, unguardedly revealing himself. A warning I hadn’t felt when I was conscious of Minho’s body spread through me like black smoke. Step back. And my body actually took a step back. As I moved away, the faint smile disappeared from Minho’s face. My face probably became just as expressionless. I stared at him as our eyes met, and I spoke first. I don’t know why this question suddenly came out of me.91c9ab4924ab1871
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“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”9e2abc1103b2e9dd
After a moment, eaf7b598f8 which felt particularly b00e081fc4 long even for 24aca8026b his usual slow b59698980b pace, the answer 68aad065a2 came.8d8e38ce58109157
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“I’m not popular.”2e2d3eda4d9f6d96
“You? That can’t be true. You’re such a famous golfer.”05280e9c2c455ea4
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“Seeing someone from afar and seeing them up close are different.”79a827556175e5e6
Did he 642a2bcb2d mean that 5d5e172406 people would 30419d38e6 be disappointed d2aa0f0bb8 if they 333d43ffb1 approached him 545fbefa6d based only e66ca3cab1 on his 561177f729 fame? As I was eac21f6780 thinking, his indifferent 50f16a5221 voice came.400ede894eb04730
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“Everyone says so. They say I’m boring and dull.”b50902a5744cb896
“What are you talking about? You’re so much fun.”52f72cbbe1dd9d59
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He may have many jokes that don’t quite land, but he made me laugh all day with Mr. Thomas.ebcff4f9d3b82425
“You were really funny.”22052795ed014614
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I still sometimes giggle d32f018417 to myself while looking 16e1f0a59c at my bedroom wall.3e8673a20c7d94df
“Thank you.”65c5b65c111ef081
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“So, is that why you don’t have a boyfriend?”0957d849e2e59557
“No. I’ve rejected everyone too.”6a47ee7457d770fd
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“To focus on golf?”7da0da0c1173eaae
I expected him to say “yes,” but unexpectedly, Minho twisted one side of his lips upwards. I was about to ask what that smile meant, but he changed the subject first.35e692e9e5081ca8
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“You’re the second person to tell me I’m funny.”4daf0c1ed3fc10c2
“Who was the first?”fd437e5e902fbac2
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“My uncle.”683cdbd3310d076f
“……”85bc09b4e51d0a4a
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“But my uncle doesn’t like jokes very much.”f3a8e20d1fd1bef9
Right. Listening to Minho, I thought it would be problematic even if they did like him. But it was a bit of a shock to me that Minho thought he wasn’t popular. Boring and dull. No, he’s quiet and slow, but that’s often more comfortable.18bf8a6d67bbf852
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“To me, you’re not boring at all. So there must be others besides me…”e45ae894804d1490
I couldn’t finish the sentence that was supposed to be comforting. I just didn’t want to say it. But no other words came to mind, so I had to look towards the door and mumble,bb32cfc09f4a3f72
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“Oh, I need to make a call about work.”f96a66de280b2ce3
I tossed the towel 9c986e5625 in my hand to 482d04f55e him.98887817b129cbe3
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“Dry your hair yourself.”fcb388c68d3b2a2f
And as I be9243b123 turned, he called 2740e07233 me. Turning back as 3d4ba30a1c I approached the 71f8048b7e door, he stood a3371bd407 up from his d2e4ce7bd0 seat and slowly c3e7358e0c opened his mouth.4a5f7d8f65900e7d
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“I have something important to tell you after dinner.”7d815d85feca7f71
Something important. Knowing Minho’s personality, he wouldn’t use that phrase lightly. What does he want to talk about? Like when I was drinking water, I suppressed the inexplicable flutter in my chest. What are you expecting, Lee Seoin? And without thinking, I picked up my phone from the table. Of course, calling about work was an excuse. But while I was away, there were two missed calls and a few messages on my phone. There really was something to call about now. The callers were Sungsu and my younger sister. Sungsu was one thing, but it had been so long since I heard from my sister that I immediately pressed the call button. Did something happen at home? Worried, I asked as soon as I heard my sister’s voice.ca2c3e4e4a979b2c
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“Is Dad okay?”3ce018d8e07f116b
[Yeah.]
Phew, that’s a relief. I let out a big sigh of relief, and my sister, who had been distant for years, briefly stated her reason for calling.628f9af7b636fe80
[I’m going up to Seoul on Tuesday. Are you free?]
“What’s it about?”8f5d1495267bd4be
[Just… I’ll tell you when I get there.]
Judging by her light tone, it didn’t seem like a big deal, so I made a tentative plan and ended the call. It’s probably nothing, I thought, and called Sungsu next. After a few rings, Sungsu’s voice answered.ffd1703f36319763
[Seoin, I’m sorry, Dongho isn’t sober yet, so I couldn’t confirm.]
“Confirm what? What are you sorry about?”465b1a3423cedeee
[Huh? Didn’t you call after seeing the message?]
Oh, there was a message too. I told him I hadn’t seen it and asked him what was going on again. Sungsu’s rapid voice came through the receiver.61de734274f20eca
[I brought Dongho back after he passed out at the bar, at his mom’s request. But Dongho’s saying strange things. That Mooyoung is seriously planning to get Minho. So I thought I should tell you, since you seem to be in contact with Minho, to be careful.]
Minho already knows about this, so I don’t need to get involved, right? As I was thinking this, Sungsu’s worried voice continued.5e9ae94a6d6ed13d
[Drunk Dongho said there’s proof that Minho hasn’t forgotten Mooyoung for ten years.]
It was during a summer vacation in elementary school. My father’s work was busiest during the summer, so we never went on a family trip during summer vacation. But that year, he somehow managed to get vacation time, and we decided to go to the beach. For the week leading up to the trip, I could barely sleep. Even when I lay down to sleep, I’d get up to check if the tube had a leak, and even when I was playing outside, I’d come home early, anxious that my father’s vacation might have been moved up. My parents must have known how excited I was for that week. On the day of the trip, my father said he’d follow later, so my mother, sister, and I took the bus first. I remember having a lot of fun on the first day, even without my father. I got so sunburned on the first day that my skin was peeling by the next. Even though my skin stung, I was excited. A tanned body was a trophy from the trip. Something I’d always envied when I went back to school after breaks. I can finally brag about going to the beach. This thought made everything exciting. Even my younger sister, who was usually annoying, became my best friend. We ran around the beach as if we were going to turn over every grain of sand. My father didn’t come that day either, but my mother said casually, “He’ll come tomorrow,” so I didn’t think much of it. Only when we were about to go back home on the last day of the trip did I realize that my father wasn’t coming after all. He couldn’t come from the beginning, but he hadn’t told us. He probably didn’t want to disappoint us, as we were so excited about the trip. He’ll come soon, he’ll come tomorrow, he’ll be here any minute. He reassured us with these words for two nights and three days. Actually, the reason I was happy about the trip was that the whole family was going together. So, if I had heard beforehand that my father couldn’t go, I wouldn’t have had as much fun. I won’t be able to have this kind of experience again. Because I’m no longer a naive elementary school student who falls for lies. My older, more cynical mind senses hidden truths and becomes anxious beforehand. But now, I wanted to pretend I didn’t know anything, cover it all up, and maintain the happy feeling. After Sungsu’s call, I realized how childishly excited I had been since arriving here. Mooyoung’s name, mentioned by Sungsu, sounded like the news that my father wasn’t coming. I was afraid that it might be connected to the important thing Minho wanted to tell me. I felt like the past, where I was miserably defeated by Mooyoung, would repeat itself. I know how cowardly this is. That covering my ears is even more pathetic. But even though I knew this trip wasn’t fun anymore, I still felt a lingering attachment. I wanted to feel the picnic-like atmosphere a little longer in this unfamiliar place, undisturbed. So, as I left the room, I hoped I wouldn’t hear the important thing Minho wanted to say here. Because it felt like Mooyoung’s name would come up again no matter what.4e69bcebd5fc7fb2
Because the balcony c43ab0413d faced the ocean, a10767bc73 the wind carried fbbc58c38d the sound of f3508907bd the waves and b8904bcd1e the smell of 705bceaab6 the sea. It was chilly because 9aca895d51 it was nighttime, but e0fd9e7125 Minho, unfazed by the dc07e0cbd9 cold, was staring blankly dc4042b8bb at the table in 988b12981f his short sleeves.3ad26a66ba61ab8c
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Creak.0249311432f91482
I pulled out 48556d8f84 a chair and c2a42b27b4 sat down, and 177cefe258 only then did deb842e04c he seem to 2bc2e4e43a notice and look 61b7c1b2ba up. I placed the 3a21c75ffe beer I had eff0cd0e38 brought with the bce5511c51 intention of lightening 65abdcd018 the mood and 728bee359b spoke first.481cd7a5c56ca9bc
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“You said you had something to tell me, right?”eeda6d453626a29e
Nod.72817f68af6feebc
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“…Does it have to be now?”3c6a793d1720a036
“Why?”906386847d371e21
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Because I wanted 1ac5a8f76b to hold onto afcedb4e85 the pleasant feeling 06eeb00af9 a little longer. Of course, I 9de97fb00b swallowed the rest ea14f990e9 of the sentence f849d8b5c6 and just shrugged.c993f76b10325c9b
“The scenery is nice. I thought we could just have a relaxing conversation today.”f2245cafe16412f4
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The scenery 0f4852db1e was barely 5200a99efb visible because d25336c440 it was 7e4eb73986 dark. But perhaps dd301b7cc9 my excuse 7618df4090 worked, as f610d63a65 Minho proposed 0be2835c9a a compromise.bc13ed8cddcf1895
“Then let’s have a relaxing conversation first.”477878c68a80deff
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Let’s just have a relaxing conversation the whole time. I swallowed the words that were about to come out and picked up a beer. Psssh~ The cool sound of the can opening rose with the scent of beer. I took a sip, and surprisingly, Minho spoke first.29786c6650801137
“Do you like your current job?”9badaf687f80b331
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“Designing? I like it. Fortunately.”f2d8ca8e789f7ce5
If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t be able to continue this difficult work. Unlike my initial ambition to build magnificent buildings, even though I always end up doing similar, cookie-cutter designs, I still have a dream.1002fcd1ad7246eb
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“I’m very interested in residential housing. Later, when I make a lot of money, I want to build the four-unit housing complex I’ve been thinking about.”241db22485674c14
“Like a villa?”cbb9274053bda80a
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“No, each unit is detached, but the four houses are connected… Wait a minute.”3968ab5d2f938670
I stood up and 1532565090 brought the notepad and d98cf73607 pen I had seen df7dee8b59 in the living room. And under the 16c14a7e8f dim lighting, I 8c9f1d108e quickly sketched lines 0c0f085e3d on the notepad. I had never ca4d6dfa03 shown this to a02029b289 anyone before, but 156c69a0fb perhaps the alcohol 4f4ecf550d gave me courage.5f8062790c92e60a
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“Like this, four houses. This way, you can have a shared solar power or alternative fuel storage in the empty space in the middle, and the rest of the land can be used for a garden or parking lot. Since the four houses share it, the burden of expensive alternative fuel facilities is reduced. And you build a fence around it, making it a four-house unit.”fbe245421318062b
Drawing it by hand e46019c4e8 made it look rough e52e13d60e compared to computer work, c1a687cd8a but Minho listened and 5bfc2fc48d watched attentively.8dbe5bfc472a4838
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“It’s an ‘ㄹ’ town.”4256abf27b40c989
Now that he mentioned it, it did resemble the Korean letter ‘ㄹ’. I nodded with a smile.194b2857b17c96be
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“Yeah, ‘ㄹ’ town is good too.”3803c516eabd170b
But the smile didn’t last long.f4c75ea4848a9390
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“Who lives there?”07560d952208b181
“…People.”6a127d5d192a74f6
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“What are their names?”580ff6bf5264c49a
There aren’t any names. I barely managed to hold back the words that were about to come out because of his eyes, staring so seriously at my doodle. I blurted out whatever came to mind.788a949fbf40d705
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“…Gap, Eul, Byung, Jung.” (First, Second, Third, Fourth)203b1c4590b22d80
“They all have one-syllable names.”bd5b9daf9a3b7765
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“……”4bd6c31931226e42
I suddenly fb60f49117 lost interest fa739dc2a8 in designing e6526af23d a Rieul f7f7eb5680 village inhabited a857ba7fc9 only by f8cf726f07 people with 91e0a68b06 one-syllable names. I was about 78a0428c97 to throw away d9cb775b1d the doodled paper 832281fa2f when Minho quickly 1674bedaa9 snatched it and 8522427efa said,64c5f91a14b62ea3
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“I’ll take care of this.”eb4f451b782d7664
Go ahead, I 3d87977fbc said, and gulped a6eb1c70ae down my beer, 202bb97b71 my throat dry, 1f64c1d3ac and asked, trying 5d955ad737 to change the d443b0baf1 subject,69d6e9625ba47f78
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“Don’t you have anything else you’re curious about?”35dce95194ecca8c
Minho stared 7e297b660b at the 5af4015c2b paper, carefully 76add67dce folded it, 5a0b68f413 put it 9ddd2c6cd0 in his fa89396918 pocket, and cbd49fbdc9 then looked ae29dcdb65 up.5ed0be200462b0d2
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“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”ba08e6baba6f8ab8
I stopped 9d6337a90e as I 0582f74100 was about 55bf4d0b71 to take 88c8bec1dc the beer dba734b655 can away d8c35741dc from my 29288ab840 mouth and 82eb9e5cdb turned around. Yes, what a comfortable 60883a52ff topic. But since 00bbcc5361 I had c1ac52f4d5 asked him 6a75452756 the same 42361405bd question while 6ce4be2280 drying his aa0dbeff54 hair, I dfef2f0ac2 answered honestly.e6920f8954d98445
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“I haven’t met anyone I like. But you, with your popularity, must have had tons of offers. You held out well.”e0eccd5153fe93cf
“It’s easy to reject them. None of them were sincere.”255f121de38c0c54
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“……”486fcfed2867f668
“What about you?”451788b7e3715dbe
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“Offers? I had plenty.”b044d0a5def08f5f
My easy answer wasn’t just to brag. It was because, in a way, I was similar to Minho. Most of the people who approached me were casual. What they wanted was a light, uncomplicated relationship. Deep love is rare from the beginning, so maybe starting with a casual relationship is the right way to go. But…b3395ef775adab59
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“I haven’t met anyone who made me feel like I could fall hopelessly in love. So I never even started anything.”ceb28f509c92209c
If I said this, everyone would say, “Of course.” Who starts a relationship with that feeling from the beginning? I know. I’m also on the side that believes that kind of love doesn’t exist. Still, I can’t help but set impossible standards for myself. Because the relationships I have can never be casual. They have to be serious. That’s the only way I can feel even a little bit justified. This might be the minimum courtesy I can offer to the family I ruined. But it seems my words were misunderstood by Minho. Instead of blaming my standards, which seemed like a girlish fantasy, he connected it to the events of ten years ago.adcf881ed552a540
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“Is it because of Kwon Gitae?”d0852c9adca7ce89
“What? No. That bastard…”1f40f63e27fda338
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It feels like I’m observing it from a distance now. I was about to turn around to answer when I hesitated, seeing his dark eyes. Does Minho still remember what happened ten years ago as if it were yesterday? Seeing his cold reaction to Gitae made my chest feel tight. It seemed like Mooyoung, who inevitably gets involved, would also hold the same meaning for him as ten years ago. Sungsu’s call came to mind, so I mumbled, trying to change the subject.273e9f4235fa4611
“It’s not because of Gitae. I just… don’t want to date just anyone.”93bb14a2ddc371bb
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“……”49a5463aa7f4bfdc
“Really. I feel wronged, actually.”e2b71f8df7949f39
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I picked f09c4e2ecf up my 295628440c beer and 928c948d55 chuckled.e11490e107490ac3
“In the end, the only person I’ve ever dated in my life is that bastard, so sometimes I get so frustrated that I think about just sleeping with anyone…”8b08f61a13fc51c8
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“Did you?”91ed2bfc1410df8d
The question sounded bce8568612 quite sharp, so 08059134ce I stopped with 11590ff777 the beer halfway eee81c3eac to my mouth.c51d69277cefd1f9
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“As if. All I have is my damn high pride.”544568f67a7c72f6
Who are you kidding? Don’t get too cocky just because you have a pretty face. That’s what I often heard when I rejected the guys who hit on me. I also heard a lot of curses about how I’d regret it when I became a wrinkled old man.7c213e6aebe3fedd
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“That’s why I need to be madly in love with someone. So much in love that I can’t even control this high pride of mine.”1600f3651359e7c5
After muttering these words, I realized anew that relationships seemed impossible now. I was more worried about getting tired and just sleeping with anyone…42d47ff8062f699a
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“If the other person is madly…”db183a4ac5987c2c
I put down the 0a839db3a2 beer I had taken db9cce2f20 a sip of and 3bc52c8a8f turned around. Minho continued, his face 08c633d370 expressionless.5e75989daa199258
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“In love with you, Seoin-hyung?”cad3c490ce455f61
“That’s their feeling.”424231b756b74902
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“……”95f7aa8dd945ad82
“If I don’t like them back, they’re just a nuisance. Especially the guys who just keep pushing without considering my feelings, I really want to beat them up.”9e0d97880eef5654
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Periodically, every few 517c37f950 years, those kinds 2f6eb6d495 of people appear. Because they bad8858e76 believe that 7395826bd1 if they 9ce679d406 keep expressing 05e47e32da their feelings 98ad3d44b1 and confessing, 862e18e6c1 the other a99b6a3e3c person will 3bcc291fd8 eventually come 30d9b97905 around, I cd48886e84 have to 240a207501 reject them 36da9dfdf6 coldly. In the end, I a3a39b7c5f end up hearing all 312f5334b2 sorts of insults from e42e4a76f5 them. The thought made acff0aae8a me angry, so 49a11c144f I gulped down cf1dbe177e my beer.91c9008f277b2f7d
“Damn it, why do I have to understand their feelings of being madly in love? If they like me that much, they should prioritize my feelings. But those guys who claim to be madly in love are all about their own love. They want their love returned as is. But if they want to do that, shouldn’t they at least try to make me like them a little before confessing?”242e1ebb951f9d56
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I added a low 4226e28d9f sigh and turned around, 48db6b4568 but Minho was lost 14af1b0c5c in thought, his gaze 4d5f466fdc fixed on the table. I wondered if I 146332a2f5 had been too harsh, 1778433a65 so I added,ed77bb1d2ba39c88
“Of course, it’s different if I have some level of interest in the other person.”b28161bc303d19c3
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At my b494075e1a words, he eb4ecdf1a9 raised his 631ea8b97a eyes, his 2dcb53576d usual gaze, ae2060ba99 but his 9afe7b7838 voice sounded 65fc279f47 somehow stiff.a95f2970563cb9d5
“I understand.”e70f7348269c6d12
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Because of that, I felt like I had made a mistake. But I hadn’t said anything particularly strange. I quietly drank my beer while he was silent. Before, I felt comfortable being with Minho without saying anything, but now I was conscious of him sitting across the table. After finishing a can of beer, I glanced at him, and he was looking up at the sky.b4d4e1eeeee959e8
“You can see them pretty well here.”97fb637e5678b556
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I followed his 8a09cbdd25 gaze up at 221bd73e79 the sky, and a943e383f5 I remembered what 8e9f8c53ba he had said 4c25323227 on the plane.2ca83d6d89fbf1f6
‘Stars.’2368551ec8fd7c31
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Perhaps because of this, the silence, which felt like he was waiting for me to speak first, wasn’t uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because I realized what he wanted to hear.dea0fb95a0c78327
“Still, it’s not as good as ten years ago.”4309ee4d70f1743e
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I felt like the face in the darkness was smiling. The tension eased, and my thoughts quickly drifted to the past. Stars. Right. The stars back then were more brilliant, and chilling. My heart was in tatters from misery and anger, and my emotions were as dry as a desert. Minho and I were both too messed up to comfort each other, but during that short time we looked up at the sky, everything was still. Thinking about it now, it was a respite I hadn’t felt for years afterward. While everything else from the past is hazy, the feeling from that moment is still vivid, like a clear photograph. I don’t think I would have remembered it so clearly if I had been alone. Because there was another victim beside me, making my situation clearer, the peace of that moment was imprinted on me. Minho must feel the same way. I lowered my head when my neck started to hurt, and Minho was staring at me. I mumbled, thinking that he had looked at me first back then too.245a7153f0930fd4
“It feels like I’m seeing you for the first time in ten years.”bf4031b1106c2631
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I hadn’t had any reason to look up at the sky since then. You can’t see stars in Seoul.77a80ee593caf36c
“America is vast, so there must be many places where you can see stars, right?”9993844b653974aa
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“Yes,” came the immediate reply, so I opened my mouth, sounding curious.26efdc2543dcb885
“You must have seen stars often in America.”213e55e2db425f47
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He slowly nodded, 120729ef71 then glanced up a24cfdf026 at the sky d710f899dd and replied.1dc3bbcc47a4e919
“Every day.”c4ffa9441753059e
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“Every day?”8e6a80888ae20030
Surprised by the unexpected answer, I asked again, and Minho lowered his eyes. He stared at the empty air for a moment, muttering “It became a habit,” and then added, looking at me,d9d5a12b13242452
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“I had to endure.”5f4497fa438f5c9a
His slow voice sounded light, but inside me, it sank heavily like a waterlogged cotton ball. His words about having many enemies came to mind. And I finally asked the question I should have asked when we first met. The question I hadn’t asked because I thought it was obvious, seeing his face so often on TV.faa231a6de05de96
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“How have you been all this time?”ec9ac5f4cdcd8fbc
He only started appearing on TV after becoming successful two or three years ago. So, all I know is his success. Of course, I didn’t think he achieved it easily, but I couldn’t imagine how much he struggled either. Minho blinked, staring into space, as if unsure how to explain. In moments like these, he looked like his old innocent self, and I almost smiled. What stopped me was the memory of the people he referred to as enemies. The people who saw him as an ignorant gay.9a5b0e5d26e776af
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“Did you suffer a lot of disadvantages because you’re gay?”0e0e0627a1dc2b4c
I felt a bit foolish for asking the question after I had spoken it. I had suffered disadvantages because I’m gay, so it was an unnecessary question. While berating myself, I added defensively,90c0dc236dcf3f3f
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“America is relatively accepting of gays, isn’t it? There’s no prejudice.”0c7a0a4fe88ecf06
“On the surface.”f17fa08939f32247
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Then, as 9196498ef1 if organizing 6a7d5a8a5e his thoughts, a49c07c6ca Minho paused a603c86226 for a ce4ace947e few seconds 36f9127a8a and slowly 9fd4ed21d8 opened his e035a559c7 mouth.2bebdaefb10a96b8
“Conservative aspects aren’t readily apparent.”1a747250d00c8909
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He looked d969b5f5f2 at me 761f607e06 and briefly 9c7169a1d5 explained.711c3de2e79984a0
“Especially in golf.”ff6b520777b73635
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Conservative. I suddenly remembered reading 027bd3df7e an article about how ad76208fa3 the scarcity of black 91087c4410 golfers in golf was 55b71f0641 not only due to c53c20a399 financial reasons but also 037298f001 because of the high 79f6963b25 conservative barriers.dd123b3206256d5f
“As an Asian and gay, I’m not a welcome presence.”43b60018104bea95
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“Playing golf together?”7bbb35d69b7022b4
“No,” Minho shook his head.cd09e9bbf07fbd0a
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“Winning.”8d46009f7de017d1
“……”72e2bafaec79d170
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“They might tolerate it once or twice, but anything more than that is unpleasant, so there are still many clubs and gatherings I’m not allowed to enter.”d3ce44abde87da61
What the hell? Anger surged through me, but I couldn’t get angry at Minho’s nonchalant tone.f1c6273ad7b2baa6
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“Take care of yourself, but try to ignore those people as much as possible.”2302a1be9ebe0e06
I told him the best method I had learned, but Minho’s reaction was different.ce494e4b7b935c8a
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“Later.”222e6ef1ee595226
Later? I asked back, and 913c19e08f he answered easily, as 57fb8433ad if it were obvious.b37ea0deb5ce88f2
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“After I crush them.”4f89139e281ff580
His face as he spoke was expressionless, but peaceful. No matter how many times I saw it, it was unfamiliar. The foundation of Minho I perceived was that of an innocent baseball boy. So, frankly, his words about casually classifying and crushing enemies were confusing. Because it was outside the scope of how I perceived him. Perhaps thinking I didn’t react because I didn’t understand, Minho explained with slightly flustered eyes.a0d1d7f942614b00
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“I’m not trying to fight them.”3bbd8219c16889e6
“I know.”e97324a816887a07
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It must be a metaphorical expression. Perhaps he meant becoming so good that they wouldn’t be able to see him as just an Asian or gay. What an incredible competitive spirit. Even more surprising was that he didn’t seem pressured to win. An indifferent expression as if winning was a given. If I delved a little deeper, it felt like another side of him I didn’t know would appear. Because of this, a slight chill ran through me. Then his voice came, and I looked up.b1fda9cf7aeab8ae
“What about you?”fedb772248601bf8
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Me? I looked at him questioningly, and he returned the question I had asked. How have I been? Me…651100cf5f5dbf79
“Ordinary. I was discharged, went back to school, graduated, got a job…”cea64c8ed14fcd25
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The time when I dddf5b751e was fired from my 7521aa6a0f company after being outed 194c101db4 and my father collapsed 6504bf12cf came to mind, and 6379a3ec10 my voice trailed off. I paused for a 3837ffa8b8 moment, but Minho seemed 10ba09da5e to be patiently waiting 0b45e899ef for me to continue, cbe64a4f87 so I just shrugged.c154444f74796486
“I went through some tough times, but it’s nothing worth bragging about.”b7516e033534b8cc
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The problem was that the misfortunes that happen once or twice in a lifetime all came at once. Back then, I was so overwhelmed by the string of unfortunate events that I couldn’t think straight.7f13c3d87e66441b
“Just because it’s not extraordinary doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”80485848c11a279f
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Minho’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I smiled faintly.f405731cef6da7d0
“That’s true. Sometimes you endure big things well, but crumble at small things.”da4e345f5dcc59a0
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I muttered, remembering the time I was running around trying to find a job. My father collapsed from the shock of losing all his money after being tricked by a friend into investing in land. Out of the blue, a notice of seizure arrived at our house, and even though my longtime friend was unreachable, my father didn’t seem to believe he had been scammed. In the end, the friend never appeared, and only after the court ruled that we had to hand over our house did he seem to grasp reality. Our family suddenly had nowhere to live. My father was hospitalized in serious condition, and I was unemployed. I went home after a few years, and my sister stopped me at the door. I still remember her cold voice.6c3d09c20997b901
‘After you left, saying only what you wanted to say, everyone was a mess. Dad drank every day, and Mom just cried in your room. No one in this house has smiled since you left. Do you know why Dad got scammed? Because he didn’t have money… because he was powerless to get you out of the military… He was heartbroken, saying that you left home because you looked down on him and thought he was pathetic… He was trying to save money. Even though you’re a son who only cares about his own pride and never bows his head, he thought you might be grateful if he saved money and set up a design office for you. So get out. I don’t want to see you, so get out.’da5add8f80d6dc70
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