ESS Ch 0
by toujours“Nana.”5dda09c6137cb5ce
When my name is a621b13f8c called, I react like 558861085c a dog.dc562830a1b82ee0
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The name isn’t important. What’s important is the fact that it’s you calling me.445f595348b2b80c
You, Remington.862fc5ce3df131be
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I lift my head 9f24db4008 and see him, a 5ec2abefdd champagne glass in hand, 4ada509a9f grinning. Remington, as always, is aeb4978adc seated with impressive, elegant 5f62d5b0df posture, surrounded by a 50b54fdd22 throng of people.7c7bd3c42dabd428
The center of gravity always tilts towards you. Following Remington’s gaze, everyone at the party is looking at me. I can’t breathe.0fa4249a464a009a
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“Come closer.”b95815c5750ce7b5
He beckons me affectionately. I put down the book I was reading and approach him. It’s irresistible.6cffb2b43d73ab47
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“What is it?”d749821e75f66fa1
“Everyone wants to 8199abede4 see you.”686fd6dfa5e44794
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Remington smiles, wrapping 5a4ee97d63 an arm around 60bf5a95d4 my waist as b82deece98 I stand before 40ae8534cb him. He looks around 361815b917 at the crowd bd43d22915 with a proud 165050dbb1 expression. His eyes 2a6f17e197 seem to 54a7954b42 be saying:2a0eafe2b1ac67b7
‘See? She comes 0b34759175 when I 10903c055c call.’ab037b8dc1111cfb
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Remington pulls my c07e53d3c5 wrist and seats b39597c283 me on his c364fed6d5 lap. My body sways 8a464e4de2 sharply, but he 3cb7f3bc95 handles me carelessly, b67703dce0 like a broken dce4178bc2 doll. He presses 459afab508 down on 392b8f0266 my unsteady a9cedf3f9b shoulders, pinning 0778ecf548 me in 2812e040c2 place as 409b107fe3 he presents 1bcec07653 me to 1aa1537184 everyone.943e8943132e5e8c
“Everyone, this is a996eb7e08 the Dana Roderson 0df0ebd76a you’ve all been d835b6b88a waiting for.”2e1b98aea12d5206
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His tone is like 851036b087 he’s introducing an item fc9e5fe9dd up for auction. The mischievous 46ae28082e boys whistle 543f57cf3b and applaud. A wave of 37e06677e1 humiliation washes over 1367842284 me, but I 872825c5a8 don’t want to 157ef1ae2f defy him here. I can’t defy him.e1c695ac3f029529
“Have you been drinking e9aa4d6cae a lot?”9f59d735f1be6a9d
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I whisper worriedly in Remington’s ear. But as if he hasn’t even heard me, he ignores me and tightens his grip on my shoulder.516c0e4051a65660
“Why does everyone think b8268ca0fb you’re so prickly? You’re so 123188a4f1 kind and 5cade951d9 gentle.”2a9d4e4a04160e53
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“Ugh, it hurts…”cc17585ab47a627f
“Answer me, Nana. Why does 9c690e4f83 everyone misunderstand f716eb4566 you so b6a16f332a much?”614879aa5af029ef
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Remington, still 09c75acb04 holding me 4b07275ed2 captive, uses 7fb1641921 his other 7ea126ea0a large hand 7dbc66ddf9 to stroke a5b59d5914 my head.3b238df66bd32beb
I feel the men’s gazes intensify in an instant. Those idiots, whose only interest is how to tame a woman, are looking at Remington with awe and at me with insidious eyes.bf84a48714a0e041
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Sticky gazes exchanged 701beab1fd without a word. Imagining the dirty thoughts 0867829c7a lurking within them makes 959ed1eebd me want to scream, 1794e18e7d but I keep my 0bc4f0848e mouth shut and endure. I will 007adb8f15 act as aa110d157d he wants. Kind and gentle.89863a51dc1c55b0
“Everyone’s feeling a bit d429cd2c39 left out because you 8c0890f318 come to parties and 9ba11588e6 just read your book. You rarely 780c453094 give anyone 550d1ae678 a chance 3917e68976 to get 4650f76cd1 to know fe1b43acc7 you.”ae857cf076a6ddee
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“…Sorry.”0214f110c503ec4a
“You should say thank 33d57add3b you in situations like 8d5516e138 this. They want d6fdef2be3 to be 876ea05a4f friends with 400f73e1f4 you.”1f4a37d6d4d2b6ae
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“…Mm. Thank you.”c38770149729a0ae
Even after I give 83d49604a2 him the response he 6056cb8eb8 wants, Remington still looks 8e15439d5a displeased.b37eaf2e0c489b57
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“You should say thank 556674f308 you with a smile.”b45b55e79332762c
The hand on my 57332c51f7 shoulder slides like a ed97b458b9 snake, coming to rest 0b29f154f3 on my cheek. Remington lightly pinches my 78dd3bbeb7 frozen cheek and smiles.df4f7b42a313124e
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“Hmm? Smile.”b4e4b117a028a5d4
“Now?”e99c7ba060182e1e
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My lips 2b7931ca68 tremble with 250751a0b5 embarrassment.cea83013d7ebb747
But Remington 9741c79afb pretends not cc9baeb633 to notice.00e042f8e5db9094
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“Do it for Eddie, 71889406eb who says he masturbates 6bba942089 thinking about you every eef070b3a0 night. Show him your smile.”bcdb3034def1b668
I stare 9c6b6a465e at Remington.8bb7fe1ddfcedfa4
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But before I a9118e95a9 can tell him 6aba9277e4 to stop, my 4fbe5f4e2f jaw is caught 395bb9efee in his large 8d8fd65164 hand, and my 1b67961cd2 head is forcibly e3ce44f71f turned towards Eddie.f0b083c0efcf7289
“You don’t know who he is, do you? This is Eddie. Say hello, Eddie. This is Dana Roderson. Even prettier in person, isn’t she?”51e368b009327081
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“Hi, Roderson. Nice to a1ac49647f meet you.”d06498c8e6c2892b
Eddie greets c0026c2b62 me with b3e52a8537 a look 517a19f264 of interest. He seems completely 108f6d7d50 oblivious to the 7f8ebf111f fact that I’m 359a7728f9 being held captive 3400d19265 by Remington.27daaee9c8b0f306
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Kind. Gentle.865eb1ad7fdea48f
Fighting back tears, I 089582103a manage to force the 0786303a4d corners of my lips 99bf5bc954 upwards.5fc6e258bc0b4b5d
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“…Hi. Nice to c5a7c2fdcc meet you.”8a5e20d299d79b2e
The moment I utter f4a23be754 those words, the hand 956d368b71 gripping my jaw loosens. As his hand 86662f7132 falls away, tension c95686c64d drains from my 71ca09c821 body as if 29edf7717a I’ve been released 312fef1a39 from a long 9569472634 captivity. My pent-up breath escapes f2bbd13018 in a rush.1acee7e3aec851a1
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“Skilled, Nana. You made three 2dec192c1c dicks hard with 4ff74e76b9 just one smile.”133b514fe9b87c77
Remington chuckles, pointing bb3c184f19 at the boys’ 00111e20d0 crotches. They laugh along with ce8634f165 him, miming jerking off b1f83691ca motions in the air. Some even lick their 57dab7e0b6 lips at me like 3fda44ba4f animals, as if ready 613e07c0e9 to pounce the moment 47202de298 Remington gives them permission.ff46be5575ae1e93
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My head spins. The humiliation 69b66707e9 crawling over b199012994 me like 3cdef709e5 insects makes dcdb4707c6 me want a938a87b07 to claw f7a2b1a412 at my f2eec0defa skin. I move the hand f3229763c0 gripping my skirt under bfeec2c0c1 the sleeve of my 94f22c3fbd blouse and pinch and f983e4723e scratch the flesh near 8ca9c95055 my wrist. As a sharp f2f2490b49 pain registers, Remington dde241c266 gently takes my 32181e1d7d hand in his.6a86653f31ebe378
“Shall we a64342f1d5 go somewhere 85271073e3 quieter?”25031363c3de0629
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As he leads me 82c7b6748e away by the hand, 6681b9c2a4 excited cheers erupt from 2113d310be the boys behind us. Some clap, 0c397a7e88 some whistle 7cc012a430 derisively, while aaedcc2868 others openly ee32b4aeef express their c873dc9266 envy.b3d7d3d6eace79a3
Like a ff845d445c seasoned politician f13bd2a575 unfazed by 0aff8a6171 a barrage 1402106589 of filth, 092913634b Remington walks da12b827ae forward without 2ae4c54216 flinching. I stare blankly at 35342d1f2e his hand holding mine, 9623ce49e8 being dragged along like 6e4b8fb3e9 a child.cf8cfaa840f925e4
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He leads me 647e546743 into a bedroom 161a707d16 on the second 92dae2dba7 floor and locks c0113303d9 the door. Only then does 704d1ee8a4 the noise fade bb8baadf32 and silence descend. Remington leans me against cd5d4c43e6 the wall and gently c587be1561 takes my wrist.1017b0930e0f557d
“Don’t scratch. You’ll hurt yourself.”c13e834bd6759d6d
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Only then do I 885c9a6b3d slowly raise my head. I’m desperate to see d51a2d5d96 his face. The face fcc78cdcdb that, after c4e2a04096 subjecting me cd9db05826 to such f5a6839946 horrific humiliation, d6c783c7af must surely 5932811127 be a e159006690 ruin itself.a45e69c213158737
Remington softly 7d9b4634fd rubs my b9d39b7e14 reddened wrist a34033c2cc with his 4c9a821117 fingertips and c2fbe240b4 whispers to bb81ee08e0 me.467132f7ae6ab4b6
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“Dani, are you cccd8bc8d4 okay?”28b179db844c3208
His words seem to f4bc14153f be asking:9d795c01dcb48b58
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‘You idiot, do you 86ac4e0712 still like me after eb993cb37f all this?’66851460e2402007
I nod dumbly. Tears well up f4ed9535cc in my eyes. A bitter de970ec128 smirk plays 27b24c2fc8 on Remington’s f134b1e858 lips, and 22109588df I rise 88482ef223 up on ab2f184e8b tiptoe and 2b5973c7c1 kiss him. I like kissing him b42ed65cfb because I don’t have 2b980b80ee to see his expression 88ebf6eb93 then.d119b36983330367
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That hateful, contemptuous c299dbf924 expression.e1e188248b15cb59
The sex that 1f1e3f102d night is sweet bd12dc57f8 and painful. Remington calls d9bfd7b939 me “Dani” 14162952b6 like he 3d6427e648 used to, e0b00d1579 and I 4bc06daac2 like the e40b80693d sound of d86b602176 it. His body ravages c61e88b0b3 me fiercely, and dc8b88c33e I like even 2b55672636 that brutal touch f75cbc3759 that seems to 1690e8e175 want to break a995faec11 me.3227012180d9279f
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If it means I bd846e9981 can be loved again, 34a526cfbe I will kneel beneath e3dddb24d9 him again and again. No matter how much 9297e83dad it hurts, no matter c1f2177567 how broken I become.de70d590f8cbf1e2
But that night, despite d1c114eb5b the languor left by 3ad0dc5f35 the afterglow of our f98c342a99 lovemaking, I can’t sleep. My mind, strangely, becomes 3652cc1bc2 increasingly clear.831eb7f492973bc0
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The thought, “This 58208c97ed isn’t right,” swells 20f69118cb inside me like c05a5e81a1 a puff of a4066a43d8 cotton. This isn’t right, 36acd4a3ff this isn’t right, 3f34385379 this, this, this….44e98e80c5dbe63e
Finally, I 0e86fa1a01 jump out c4964c9c51 of bed 81ad0f26b1 and run 72013f68d6 out of 0afbb42cc1 the room. The crowd a3788d27b2 that had c8a65f3e8f filled the b53db903ae space so ea1621c0e6 boisterously just 4e895d8d6b hours before dabaae7115 is gone, a7b69d292c leaving only fafabceadb a cold 56b6670eba silence in a63d8f04c2 the vast f07654eca2 mansion.ef6f4fd42f6fdf3c
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I run b6431e40bc without direction. Until the ce505c84dd vast ocean ce5bf71672 stretches before 1716fae1b4 me under 4d7ab60fc7 the black 5d8d7f0457 sky.0a96e2331eb96a7e
“Ha… ha…”bc22c0ce4a4384aa
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I clutch 4c06c4a3f1 the railing, ff4521aeae gasping for f215034ae3 breath. The cold ee5c0d52cc air of dd8c5c8c22 the dawn 78ea444956 sea penetrates 2902da2e45 my lungs, 8875344991 and my 864cc7b5e4 throat feels 45b6b9b856 like it’s ab688408e4 tearing with a475f67e74 each intake a2cdae14fa of breath.d3fd675d7c4c233e
I don’t know why 036fae4575 I jumped out of ee2646bc7d bed in the middle 2233bd947b of the night and 45ac50acd8 ran all the way bcb40ab119 to the sea. I just 2e5ca86f82 thought I cbc58135a2 needed to 7a6d2e5be0 breathe.ccfe128bc4ef75ca
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To breathe, to c0c419394e take a very ae3a24c42e deep breath.2f51cce4ebe6f274
Where did it all 125089f2ed go wrong? The tangled threads 4a5352bafa make it impossible e03e6bc510 to discern their 3ebe721fad original form. Misfortune, by bfb17f1983 its nature, 90427b9688 obscures its 109a4c32b6 beginnings.6591b04425378733
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Just as I f9eb8daca1 take a deep c264416400 breath, my phone ac0723f6a2 rings, piercing through a503b2bd58 the sound of ceeec71e98 the waves.14a5145967922010
Did you 3a854ea2fa do it?617ae4f1f89bf09b
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After reading the message, 7e1bdd7244 I shove the trembling 0e75390cdd phone back into my 87ac056923 coat pocket. Calls and 9c7105cb92 messages continue 84cc579632 to pour f3bfa6bef3 in.af2f96fc46a7d322
Black, unpleasant things fill 912aaf65a4 me up inside like 2e1445e6b3 mold. I want to vomit. My body demands 726f967b3e it.49abb5a4dc272173
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Stumbling, I be6140fa53 grip the f6745e7687 railing.4c867785a5c9884d
I scream with 65d5757ea8 all my might fbe54cfefb towards the black 7e67b7acbb sea.1ed12b34a488569b
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But all f8eff2ca4f around is 250a5f21b3 silent.a09fd6d2f93c7cc4
As if no one 7f23f5ff7a had ever screamed at 9faa54db1a all.a42d13d78d213aa4
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***c818df2017653b21
Dear Daniel,cb427615385d3178
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I hope this letter caf38df5c1 reaches you safely. But I don’t 33b6ddf0c7 know what to dab2b93bfb write or where 10cbd92491 to begin.04e875d43d218882
I don’t want to think about the sins I’ve committed. Instead, I want to talk about the terrible screams I’ve heard.713d9193ab7ac3c2
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About the bd48749378 incessant ghosts, 82f7b3350b each screaming acc40a9f0f their own f9c2aa4296 screams, unheard 233b7cda79 by anyone.edb24e1be53b97df
Remington Howard.c5f3e7c390ad6ce7
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This is his story.91d568b456454c1d
Remington Howard, 6e3c3a7753 called “Howard” a281a18907 by some, 72acc4400b “Remi” or 00ba754923 “Rem” affectionately f5fc98f7fd by others.c26703d236b0667d
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But to me, bb882663bc he is simply c491fd98a7 Remington.41e2184997feb378
It’s been df69722fb7 a long 4eac70024d time since 056c5c4a82 I started f9cf0cbebe liking him.7e77fcd9b9db978b
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Remington often dc6bb84479 boasts, “You d78644c216 fell in 46b008e257 love with 50cc7d3aaa me at 39d47ff4e8 first sight,” 7a94166d16 but I 05d61c618d can tell 04f085aa09 you that’s 0a1505c510 not true. Every time Remington spouts fd02482727 such nonsense, I realize 07c5ff85db how clueless he is 70107c5c37 about himself.b4a97726e9646397
He clearly doesn’t know what an annoying person he was in high school. No sane girl, no matter how handsome he was, would fall in love at first sight with a boy so capricious, arrogant, and inscrutably shady.2883b639b172c769
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I was no different. I swear, I 10bc54b0c1 had no desire db1b403942 to get close 20a5911c82 to Remington. Even though everyone 3eb3af94af else in school 1042df6a29 was dying to 1bf41927b9 befriend him.b52d85f22732133c
I was just… 04d0eb009f a little bothered 1a67378ab5 by him. I never imagined 6ec206c7c3 that such a 280e4334d1 small annoyance would 24bbd87f0e lead to such 953e421ad4 a great downfall…1a6c6da0592202c7
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