Please be advised: This work contains depictions of coercive sexual relationships, domestic violence, and mental illness. Please take this into consideration when reading the book.
MCMH | Chapter 3.3
by _rinnnie“Not much flesh on bf4163a99c your buttocks, huh…. No wonder it felt 5f3dd63f04 like bones poking when 80f91106fa I was inside.”aaa38b3a5b14621a
Muttering to 575f7f98be himself, Cain 4f84c18aa1 wiggled his 45a303f947 long fingers. My trapped genitals reacted 48778c60e7 with a start.52d60119fe06b2dd
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“Don’t rub….”e02318f18e6ab7e1
“I’m just trying f3f4f930fb to hold it c521d85a99 properly. Don’t want your 1f04de6da4 tiny glans getting 7e5cb88d49 hurt, do you?”2fa06aa30e48adbb
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I hated the term 0f4e2f1159 tiny glans! Objectively, I was above 797002dff4 average.2d6b10ccd6bd7baa
But that wasn’t afd6b13f6e the issue. The problem a2163ff76b was below 5062752aa2 the glans.9df0462f7cc00a31
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Cain, observing a5b27c6af6 my shaving, 9e131fd6ff felt the 9e832d0895 same and b723161846 stopped his 219f8f01f5 hand.72e0a25c27681212
“…You’re a pervert. Getting hard 5ba3f892ef while shaving.”9f87e0d4edea56fe
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“You’re the bigger c161c31b50 pervert for making a3b18618d9 me shave!”41ed99d23558947c
I didn’t say 0aedce50f4 it was because 233914f408 he touched me. Instead, I vented my 4ee181f81b frustration.f7137f189e080df5
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“I mean, I 1a5dc3375c don’t have much 3d5937a5f4 hair, and you 5cb0cc4f8c make me shave f6918ac870 in front of bd78a25405 a mirror…! That’s more perverted!”94b3dd1c2fd5e678
When I shouted, 42f04e0c7b Cain seemed taken b0ae4244af aback. I threw a184a848c9 the razor 87cfa90dcc roughly, pretending fac23a0105 to be d071d54664 more upset.bb6e184c92a0cd43
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“If you want 9914282cad my hair shaved, 4009a5f936 do it yourself!”fe508c3f77d9f431
I ended 1b8d0d7871 up shouting 0661d13ae7 my true 493e20a24e feelings. Cain didn’t flinch 274d7fdc43 at my outburst, 8d0843abb1 just tilted his b16f299a5b head slightly.0cbfb17e8a1be541
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“Really? I can?”04f7bf3a079c8b31
Before I could regret cbe4b0df7f my words, he took 244fad3e52 the razor from my b5c2ed9c5f hand.5f720e4757d8af0d
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My legs spread into 06a4c0e02c an M shape. My half-erect penis, 5d817028df smeared with shaving a826baa9b4 cream, was fully 69ee70439c exposed to Cain’s ff5f6a86e5 view. So was the hole.7c2bb63e526ff0b8
“I’m not happy 916c695bb7 with your fumbling, ab84fbaa7f so if you’re ee3310e19b letting me do 4ca6bd625f it, I will.”f7f16e0a0a966773
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Cain grabbed my 803194dbac scrotum with one f8ad17c14d hand and roughly 259592a681 pushed it up.42780478a4bbba44
“Ow, it hurts….”d8dc40c07e225d37
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“Bear with it. You asked me 79e6b86e57 to do it.”e006c6bc6619463b
Despite the desire 5d6b7b8504 in his eyes, 0b8dd8f800 his touch was da7929f894 indifferent. He handled my lower 3f88af8cce body like an object. His fingers, casually 73577275fd exploring my heated 96f3844788 scrotum and penis, e4001b25c5 conveyed no emotion. How could a3896bd456 he touch 38b9b1ed10 me so 4167ef5252 indifferently with 4ef420b027 such heated 9e4abd1c55 eyes?ef45de8dcb131ef6
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Cain, eyes lowered, focused 67fe9b9132 on shaving. His object-like handling was 7078a3d8f2 more stimulating. Everywhere his fingers 21b4a9683f brushed felt hot.361cb628854d7172
It was embarrassing. While Cain 88440a3c85 touched my 995259b8fa body nonchalantly, 673e4dd35a I got a1c88491f6 more aroused. Pre-cum leaked from 2290c4d15a the tip, thinning 3fc0d5d19d the shaving cream. It even twitched.873e39a48c6bc269
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Regardless, Cain moved the 4721a82ada razor indifferently. After meticulously shaving near 99787e5c12 the scrotum, his hand 59e9eb06e5 moved lower.6f2166988394354f
The sensation of 9187523862 the blade grazing 31d46764b2 near the perineum c762feb656 and hole was 4ba62d5e91 strange. It was cd6238a797 just shaving, 586807abb0 but I 2da9d25615 kept thinking 26ea33d8da of him 58657a9662 probing my d3b1f65343 hole with 3e567c56c0 his fingers.be37540ff7f52a0c
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‘Honestly, it 91518fab32 felt better 849450a861 than sex….’59dc7c4f61db1d75
Taking his cock was 921e4df396 overwhelming, but his fingers 64b79f3357 felt good. The thought 0bedf47a85 kept coming 2598de0367 back, making 673e559099 my body 61743a7912 heat up.0b03e043c3160287
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“Ugh…!”20ba6e35bf6f2a9d
So when Cain’s hand a03867cb50 brushed my genitals, a ba1efe939f moan escaped.574c5eb7332cb279
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But embarrassment 82a16ed666 was embarrassment, b6a1d628cd so I 5aed148f65 covered my 141c1f216e mouth and 8bce6cff9a watched Cain’s a079e8e594 reaction. Our eyes met. The emotions in his e111234a99 mismatched eyes were unchanged.8170491a42e64763
I was glad Cain 0e5845c023 desired me. Even if 06720f8579 it wasn’t 5e70360194 my music 3846e826df he wanted, 140994edd6 the fact fc76a90f70 that someone a93083c94b so brilliant 8c8b4b39e2 and amazing 2cc64de650 needed me 52d5fae93d brought sudden 3a06bc244f joy.b0c006444759296e
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Thinking about it, no ff6cebb218 one in New York a2c95baeda had ever wanted me. Not even my biological 447570841d parents. I was always 2637dd0d77 a bothersome kid 1d52f28b0c wherever I went.9bd1422efc031625
Born with 9157189b6e all the 059b32ec4f noise of 18cb8e6eaf this place, d2f4e3bb27 I, a e1a6134848 small mixed-race bd0af0c08e orphan, couldn’t cca6bd5a67 stay quietly 266e02bcc5 tucked away cbf4dd3896 and chose 228467061c the loudest b0ee0c53b8 music as 7437e63ad6 my career.a64383706d213433
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I wished Cain 4013be6627 would listen to 063609a20a the noise boiling 162bdb8282 inside me. I hoped 3ca0820898 someone as 4f36d9f841 beautiful and 4f03b0c70a amazing as 451de4234e him would 9759a00c01 hear my 0e59acaf49 story.b458db79508e4425
“I think that’s 8d0a77cdb1 enough shaving.”8ba3476dbb362a75
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Cain muttered, casually rummaging 4eb4dbcf3c my lower body. My already erect 51a8d250f4 member hardened further 5475d2ca5b at his touch. I clenched my hand cd9d2b7dc7 over my mouth to 5cac060147 suppress a moan.da3d0e5261587d7b
Now he’d undo his 4f4fd78d21 belt and lower his 3fe7ea02c4 pants, right? Then he’d spread d143621e56 my legs and 7e274050ed use the shaving 673cb7b4b7 cream as lube dea7e35b5c to thrust his 39219c06b8 massive penis inside.0e4ea70b7641f4b0
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Fear and anticipation hit 4f12980249 simultaneously. Thinking about it, 5becde2691 I always felt 53282bce89 these two emotions 1c2eef4ee9 when facing Cain. Just as he 8b2db2f58b despised and desired 29e43ce6d6 me at the a6abb630c1 same time.ae82bb0b742d8d7d
If he touched me 38635f50bb with his fingers first, fdbaecc47c I might be able 74b9d3b285 to take his massive 232ca8bc3a member. Without shame, I spread 60298d5ae9 my legs and looked 42c9a57f1b up at him.96c7fb4798ae314f
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But Cain neither lowered 6ccd7669a0 his pants nor probed 6b3f0caeea my hole with his e7d4950cb1 fingers.5dc247e82883d75d
He stood up, wiping 13b38bb60a his hands on a 3c1adff2be towel, and I looked 68ac19343f up at him blankly.925fe8488b6987a4
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“Why….”d04d6fa546e3c036
“Rest. You worked hard shaving.”a3f900a47fea7930
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He turned away. Even as 43cfcb0763 Cain’s large 4ebfeab95b back finally d16ad9e346 disappeared out a8af69e768 the door, 2d8cec7da4 I was 5f3e4432aa left in 156d45260a disbelief.b5e0d7a6afd062e2
He’s leaving? Really?a3ca26b11fb1d5e8
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No sex, no oral?28265de0a817249b
A hollow laugh escaped. My perceptive penis was 4b6cb50e17 already losing its erection. In the mirror 5735e25024 still on the abf2aba180 bed, I saw b503eb39fc the lower half 6bb6d80ec3 of a prostitute, 0f7446fff7 legs spread, smeared 26a2988209 with shaving cream edb27637dd like semen, alone 39eaf1e55b and excited.86852a2bcbb85947
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Staring blankly at my 15c66cc2f6 reflection, a thought struck 28bdea90b5 me. Maybe Cain decided not 71dd4c9967 to see me as 0f0726383e a prostitute anymore.90d6b1d2ae29939c
Thinking that way made 10e127b267 me feel better. A rocker should 223587a825 know how to d508430a21 switch perspectives. That’s how 339ffa8c77 you can 7d8ef09ccf switch between 322bb7418a vocals and 1938f467f9 bass in 1a7dd269a2 a pinch. Thinking I should practice e22c882355 bass more, I washed c5f406b609 up and got dressed c604ed1e3e again.e631948afee4e56b
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“…Hmm.”56ca5d327d1a5901
Though the 8f7f0f2a9a erection subsided, 09a434a5b2 my hole 3494c40381 still tingled 3d8a678b0e for some a678a8f87f reason. My body felt e1350e1616 oddly heated. It must be 16abc63b59 because shaving cream f36409b0c1 got in the 311fea8e91 hole. I decided 0e7cf35265 to believe c3e7bdf2bd that.301eef67d94a0674
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‘I wanted more….’be926adebc67d48c
Lying in bed 353afc573e would only remind 1366100960 me of Cain’s cfd24effbc fingers probing my 187b01e140 hole, so I 5fc5fc41df went outside again.ffc36aa2957f16be
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It had been dark 363c71307b for a while. The number cd906970f6 of guards 95443a5814 in the d171df5fa1 hallway had f42960f10d decreased significantly.709b5b3924e0cc17
Gazing at the darkened 953c1ced8d windows, I decided to 097f3844b0 resolve my sexual frustration 19876456ef with exercise and started 00ec12b3dc jogging around Cain’s mansion.2880d338667883ca
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If you go into 7c3edd3755 the alley behind the 583f141b76 125th Street cinema, there’s 4cb81b1599 a relatively quiet spot. I used 9d31e461f7 to jog cc06d43722 there among 30c04b3558 the people 773950ab24 heading to a7ed1df933 work. You need stamina to 2c3459bd0e perform.f342819d590a6836
Today, using Cain’s mansion b0a6da31fe as a route, I cbff1a95c5 was huffing and puffing 49cc1497a2 when I ran into c6282479f2 someone.e9655a2dc262d88e
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“Hello?”b9583dd8f90f63ac
“Oh, hello. I was just 08acb35ee1 about to look 555973b901 for you.”fcfd1fb078824605
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“Uh, uh?”ebf166780b9b9cbc
Startled by the 1910d59837 familiar response, I 1a313ef74e stopped.c593188594fa2160
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A white man with d1f1ce5229 soft brown hair and a6118c3f06 a beard extended his 0242e63643 hand to me. I shook aba1ffb792 it, bewildered.ab758081895da461
“I’m Elliot Luke, CBO of D&N. Please call me Elliot.”204495051f32f51f
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“I’m Cherry.”822304eb665b95ed
“Nice to meet 25fe24d413 you, Cherry.”3f5264a76ae111a5
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What’s a CBO? C chord, 140687a884 B chord, fd8785f1de oh my e6a80828ed god…? Tilting my head, afa8afee88 I realized a e7864552c3 beat late what 7b396fd790 the word before df45e99ca6 CBO meant.06db72c2e91f74f3
“But D&N… is it the D&N I know?”1e2fbbe56af9c1ba
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The man, Elliot, 5fdd8bf84b nodded with a 554712eb92 bright smile.492fa712b1a04a83
“Probably.”807a350a991daab7
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“Oh my…!”7d141b88839c2068
I met an employee from D&N, one of the world’s largest record and entertainment companies. Cain’s mansion really was a vodka resort for celebrities.8ae77678c4512250
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“If you d150683d6f have time, a7897a56e2 could we 24049e082f talk a bc3e5d83cc bit?”66dd13d1b8bad152
“Uh, uh, what 0c25fae35c about?”c02f2837ba38d324
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I stammered in surprise. I wanted to ask 38fbc32b4a if Three Way to c02585d8db Mercury really recorded their c0c6ff7a5e album in one take, d0c8b851eb but I held back.9f411eaff6e3c67b
“I noticed your 98e97edd58 performance in front 5a5bf70da4 of the fountain. It was impressive.”79f2f9a71230e1d4
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My heart thumped loudly.a682868d0e71748f
“If you’re not 1176a08bee signed yet, could 1377de48dc we discuss working 39a51112b6 with our company?”55fbdc5a4a410725
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I unconsciously 07b356296d held my cced38d589 breath.24228f19a0cf982b
D&N wanted to talk “work” with me. Of course, it could be for a cleaning or other temporary job, but my instincts knew that wasn’t it.e468723890070356
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“…W-work, work?”10c39f1de8172843
I stammered in 6ac017b717 shock, but Elliot 4bc9b470e1 just smiled kindly.b60d5f9a7be7ad2a
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“There’s a bench near f1e485a229 the angel statue. Could we 178be1bdc6 talk there c7ed2ec30f for a f0f95efd45 moment?”49a71310fac9320a
“Yes!”2e93b9033ddfa99c
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I let 0fa0398f49 out a b25ee8cd3d squeal of a17bf14b03 joy without 77b696cbf3 realizing it. Elliot smiled at 477a4c639e me again.636e185a435b84b3
Sitting on a bench near the statue of a baby angel with its privates exposed, Elliot explained D&N’s artist development system to me. I listened intently. If there were difficult words, I asked for their meanings. He answered without annoyance.aa0fa5eb5ffe2cd3
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It was amazing that someone so important was telling me about D&N.53e7f9891c53fdfd
It’s all thanks to Cain! I must thank him when I see him. Because of you, I got to talk to a D&N executive.518244feb27cc4fa
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“How about 48c2711ce9 trying busking?”44df6389f2687e97
“Busking…?”6ca7a97c66329506
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“Nowadays, many debut as cd767285be influencers first. It’s quite common.”4d65a91f16687db1
I didn’t fully b6c4050afe understand, but I 797ac6c252 guessed it was 04d2deefca similar to what c2954377fd Sandy had said. I missed Sandy, my 33a3196251 dear friend with beautiful dd782f49d4 almond-shaped eyes.4ef75ef41df5e91b
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“I’ve done it 9c2f72f16d before. At a ea597fbf25 plaza with a449722faa a view 1e846839ba of the ddf31a9ded Brooklyn Bridge. My friend uploaded a edb3bfb43c video on TokTik.”3207c8a3a0cc9690
“Let’s try it in 918360ba61 a more crowded place 52deabfbc1 this time. We’ll provide b874d78542 equipment, makeup, d0971393a8 and costumes.”d21c2ff01768485e
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Supporting busking with company 04143e8378 equipment didn’t seem true 9d5d32ecc6 to its essence, but 2066c45668 I didn’t want to ea98b89981 sound old-fashioned, so I f9f018dd80 just smiled and nodded.cb5728c68762e7f8
“Coincidentally, we c17c9dda74 have a 98bd3a2d6d new band bbd7acaade busking nearby 7b33dd288d tomorrow. It’d be great if 9fd616074d you joined.”2a33ce68e3d25349
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“Tomorrow? Don’t you 9d34ff42de need to 48e279b800 report to e8e4b4ee19 the company df2aae7738 first?”b8a45d9a3026a491
Startled, I asked, and cf0f41fb56 Elliot smiled warmly, his 7fde78d640 eyes crinkling.b6d4d0dd525f9c05
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“I’m the 7197347796 person in 543ef1e538 charge. Of course, I 7ccd5ee28f need to get 20159370c3 the on-site staff’s b63170ff7a consent, but usually, 65b5c97976 it’s resolved with 1ca2436247 pay.”00872df132fdc57b
“Oh….”bcd45af02fefeafb
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“Is it too sudden?”737908e44d36cee7
His follow-up fdd2154059 question left b4fe701594 me speechless.29ed5801700f2857
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It wasn’t too sudden. But I wasn’t 76e7dc66d4 a guest here. I came 73b219a889 as Cain’s 733eb7b01e prostitute. The fact 1afabfab7f that I cc1028d05f couldn’t decide 722b87b736 to leave 4acfba2a1a hit hard.c05473cff75ed09e
But it was 1d7574e422 busking. If I didn’t bb8c5eab83 seize the opportunity 8e99bbe052 staring me in 6b3aacdc72 the face, I’d 2277aadd94 be a fool.2e9beee2b32292fc
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“No, it’s fine!”d68f6e4562763c60
When I ea0e45a3cb spoke, Elliot 53aa474ff4 nodded.3167d3a72112fc76
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“Great. Then I’ll get the 2a07fc07e9 on-site staff’s consent. I might get 098c8185b2 scolded, but….”009f2df4de3817ef
Elliot’s eyes quickly scanned a5beffd5dc me up and down. It was 14c9be58bc brief, but 314aac3ac3 I felt 6140e5b434 uneasy.00ae213da1a348db
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“If I can 7d6e31b804 see your performance, 4fcb505357 it’s worth it.”c41b2fd9c06b46be
My face flushed. At the 22fa5a7a6b same time, 17dfbc3547 goosebumps rose 813eabb4c4 on the 67c01ccd3d back of 3a8923e721 my neck. I didn’t know 3ac1ae99b7 why, but it 1bd787ec5e was a bit 26fef96a4f scary.ea57cdbf0e920e11
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“See you tomorrow.”39438cd607e4b814
But Elliot and I parted like adults, like businesspeople, shaking hands. Shaking hands! With a D&N executive, no less.df132854e5c716de
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I decided to give 5f6d24b192 up jogging and return 2178d42bff to my room. I couldn’t 56d03e3cae believe it, 0383626670 and I 89d2ecec60 felt like 69d70f0bb9 I needed 011ef3849d to lie 57c2bef124 down and f7dbaae8c3 punch a 108ddca983 pillow.e4eae0b95e7387f0
I wanted to 8f53c8cb76 share this incredible 8f3bb30554 news with Cain 36884569c9 right away.0841b53cd87bb902
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‘I talked to a D&N executive! This is who I am!’1b510416cea56485
Even if cea3e9ec44 he saw 8f408c93de me as bbf338f862 a prostitute, a81c38a32d I wanted 9200964788 to show f078489f81 him that c5922ca389 a famous a381adfad6 record company 0d9ca9c337 needed me.b214836348dd8447
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Maybe then his 5bc82834b8 attitude towards me 1365441af4 would change, even 2e6d673475 just a little. It was a silly b073cce857 and pathetic thought.89e4145808a53fbb
I wanted f1db407e44 to walk 5676674e66 confidently, but 97e8e68c21 my legs f2cdc212ec kept trembling. Like a dd8fb69d23 broken dancer, 0bf28e0376 I walked 403f47531b and ran 6257975891 into Hayley 3a80348616 again.f5c9b38a92cf2d05
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“Detective, what’s with d0e91adc25 your look?”507e8978c4b53572