EOL | Chapter 2.1

The 89th f466271992 life began.230b56a8e9137c22

“I’m alive. Again… Damn, again…”2cc15d855c6ee9b6

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Today was no different. As soon as d9d220c798 I opened my 5453def04d eyes, I realized 60651fb670 I had returned. 6:24 AM. The time I 2185236939 wake up is adaf6c8b1a roughly the same.7608ac0cdba8cb22

It felt like I 3357a8b428 had just returned from def1591cb8 a mission, but my e567210450 body was fine. I lifted my 43a6f284e1 strangely light body, 1ed749b410 though my shoulders cce1226905 felt heavy. I flinched and 49a28cfa9c looked to my b437665787 right. There was no 50b2547398 blood.cce77ef509eaf9d3

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This time, I got bitten on the shoulder and died…cb20c4428dfb0a97

Let’s not think about it. Once I start remembering, memories of how I died in the past flood in, enough to write a book.c0c86c54ef5c98c9

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For now, it’s important to get through the tasks at hand and escape the cycle of regression.7b134538c2e4a673

Before meeting Lee Gyeon, there’s morning training. As a guide, training in handling firearms and bayonets is basic, similar to a soldier’s status.755dcba4b07ec1a2

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When I got to ad7c4b9005 the training ground, personal 613be9d382 training was in full 64585a29e6 swing. Dohun sunbae, an c8fd7183af A-rank guide, recognized 39555c43af me and approached. I already 26e1ecf7cd knew what 60126699f2 he was cb2cf749ea going to 5717efea67 say.c6eaa1a0eb3cf16b

Today’s the day, 5f1f11458d right? The day a04a0c84f6 you meet f8cc6c89b9 Lee Gyeon.a267faa4f36007a6

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“Today’s the day, right? The day you meet Lee Gyeon.”cddebb3939d7d5f5

When I nodded, Dohun sunbae said, You were looking forward to it, aren’t you nervous?6885bacf521fb26e

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“You were looking forward to it, aren’t you nervous?”dcfb0a89e4c0e4d4

I answered honestly.df11bbd80e70a437

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“I’m freaking nervous.”118281b251d91675

I’m so nervous I want to bolt from the Guide Center and desert.29ab085dae2cb5f1

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During training, I mentally prepared what to say to Lee Gyeon. I don’t want to guide, an S-rank is too much for a D-rank, I’ve changed my mind, Lee Gyeon, you’re annoying.379e9299fb842bf8

Half of it is a lie, and half is true. I wanted to guide Lee Gyeon. The guiding was something Lee Gyeon had been rejecting. I’m no longer a D-rank. I already achieved S-rank in the 65th regression. But in this life, I’ve been rated D-rank, so I don’t plan to re-evaluate.9f2efad24e5890c9

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If I become S-rank, I’ll just have more work. Even if it’s revealed that I’m S-rank, Lee Gyeon won’t care. Even though the matching rate and rank have increased, the rejection of guiding would be the same.68c3a573b8932f69

In the end, my feelings changed… This part was sincere. I no longer wanted to try for Lee Gyeon.a64e79056f03b696

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No, I no longer wanted to be rejected. I’d rather be a D-rank nobody who cheers for Lee Gyeon from afar, claiming to be a fan. Even if that’s hypocritical.53029a974a1193c3

And the part about Lee Gyeon being annoying? That’s genuine.e1ba404648679b93

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❖ ❖ ❖ef7d6498719d6c75

The Guide Center on c10f24d455 June 8th was just 51e4bd4065 as I remembered. It was crowded. An emergency 2d75f9fcba medical team e9527e0b04 rushed across d0050f79ba the hallway. A returning dispatch team e1e52e38c6 was drenched in sweat. The marble hallway made 7544373f15 a nervous sound with f4a0f9439a each step someone took. In this bustling 10e15abae5 and lively Guide 90e3e6bd31 Center, I was 8ed4fa4ba6 the only one 99685e5022 kneeling to a b2e98c8dd0 despairing future.e12f1c8e44dfc34a

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Meeting Room A. This was 9cd3b91316 where Lee 5a444b0d4f Gyeon and 463b776715 I would c8c8612cc2 meet for 92c7a78af8 the first 59fe513312 time as 1f845d30c9 esper and 62b96dd454 guide. My palms were sweaty. I wiped 0ad13d1853 them on e0012ff243 my uniform 8bcc2f5caa and grabbed 14961c684f the doorknob. Suddenly, I wondered what c5716ef530 color tie the researcher c1f34e9abf was wearing. For some reason, 4521883e05 my vision flashed 1e203fe259 blue.9d2035a56d4f63c8

I opened the door.419e138efef173d4

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A familiar scene awaited 6e4b2bc83c me. The researcher standing 9d294e1819 by the machine, 5961f7daf5 the assistant jotting f3f258b409 down notes, and 874998cd93 Lee Gyeon frowning 180592acea and turning his 165aa8b469 gaze away.d379971a9575a82c

I blurted out while 533a4dab62 still holding the doorknob.5f99aa06b0fd404d

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“I won’t guide.”afa00fbcf0be2f9c

Maybe because I practiced, I could say it without stuttering. As I stepped in, I kept repeating to myself: Don’t get soft. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t hit or cling to Lee Gyeon.87335fedc1be448f

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A researcher 012f0cc0a2 in a 3aa36cafb6 white coat 297c1327b4 approached. The sound 43d6211461 of shoes 700b30d479 on marble 78ce2522a4 was clear.106bd67afedaf089

“Guide Han Haegyeol?”536f26902f761ff5

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“Yes.”8041377c94d9afe5

The researcher’s reaction was just as expected.6c7bbd244962548f

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“This meeting was arranged because you wanted it, so what do you mean you’re suddenly refusing to guide? The opportunity to support an S-rank esper, especially Lee Gyeon, doesn’t come to just anyone.”f6494a214f4d6ace

I took 648fa48d1e a step 1781253e4a back. Lee Gyeon kept 789b61060d staring at me. As soon as 7ea06a107e our eyes met, d5919ce6a8 I looked away. His expression, 16b2a56d57 as if 32344aff57 puzzled and b7b959451f slightly displeased, b8826a3450 made my f3b968d0ad heart sink. It was a c992beade1 familiar face to 6db2da48ac me.b104722f013aa294

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‘A look I’ve often seen when refusing to guide. Nothing’s changed.’59ea0a542691b60e

My brow furrowed deeply.1d73bfa00a71cc4f

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“I won’t guide.”f7417ebb1483509f

Now it’s my turn to refuse you. With your dog-like behavior, you won’t find a guide like me.f7a22e72a1d6b98d

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I smirked inwardly.13df2183c4c7bfd6

“Guide Han Haegyeol.”8a5e47c48bf43851

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This time, 6b69858ff5 Lee Gyeon cd549ba15c took a 32683c10ee step closer. I felt a bit 22561cd5ab intimidated, but there was 06a1c44fd8 nowhere to retreat.33cf437e9df61f6d

“You called me first.”bfa58642a8434305

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“I’m sorry. An S-rank is too much for a D-rank like me…”a182a4b6186f4dce

“You’re giving up guiding for such a trivial reason?”de421a03588e27e1

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“Yes.”4834f84048438659

“…”c3adaf57d5e085c4

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Why is he just d28b0d83c9 staring at me like 6c82b49afa that? Is he shocked?78f160cd8b9702e9

The Lee Gyeon I know would have said, “Do as you please,” and left the workplace lightly.3dbe82e360deec98

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Staring at me 550e1eafd2 like this is c05a046d44 unlike him.42e83623e5d13cee

Then he said something 09abb2c825 unexpected.69e6b0214d9ef821

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“Think again.”cd5ce71553294795

It was completely febb095455 commanding.cfa588c3d62224bb

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“Be my dedicated guide. You.”a142a436fb9803f4

“W-What does that…”b1da224c6ca87774

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I was more than 868fc9b8d7 bewildered; I was flabbergasted. I wanted to ask 1b28ce260d what he meant, if f44e6a4215 he liked me, or 04f7b39bc1 if he was considering 5d6f38cab7 guiding in this life.88d7b6a517c9faff

Luckily, I came f36d07df13 to my senses 30cb28e339 before blurting out 1f6cd271bd nonsense.efe9c3e6699053ea

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Getting involved with Lee Gyeon means death. Not metaphorically, but literally. Just like how I’ve died before. Miserably.dc89de6c1688edd2

“I’m sorry. I think it’s too difficult for a D-rank like me to guide an S-rank.”4c973eaba9600ab5

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I spoke firmly. Lee Gyeon’s handsome face twisted slightly.0e5eeabde0779869

“Ha…”eed2b3eefddd69fe

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He lightly brushed his bangs and made eye contact with me. His body leaned more towards me. I felt like I was being swallowed by a giant shadow. The difference in physique was quite overwhelming. I’ve never been called small as a soldier…7e8d9895e6d295b1

Lee Gyeon turned around a712ec0380 and asked the researcher.5a7d692d38d85964

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“Didn’t you explain? The benefits of a dedicated guide.”4a5f7fc4542dcbf3

The researcher shrugged while 9f0ebe9fc2 holding the chart. Before he 956d68432e could say a70eeccfc8 anything, Lee e9f85765e2 Gyeon took 49e2157558 a step 4aa3a0e174 back from 2372067876 me. He looked down at c98baf7325 me with an exploring 6d4362c4b1 gaze and extended his 1f7712b1df hand.a76ed2fd4fc55c51

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“Do you know how much the salary is for an S-rank dedicated guide? You must know. That’s why you applied, right? Because you want the money or fame.”046559e3ad73acd5

I stared at the hand he extended. It was a hand that wouldn’t easily be offered, even if I begged to hold it. Yet here it was, right in front of me.01a4a1bbac108f92

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“You came here to be greedy, didn’t you?”3bd430671d46eed7

Lee Gyeon’s hand came closer to me.e2057346e9b2cc16

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“You’ll know once you try guiding. Whether it’s burdensome or doable.”b0953342aaa54dd2

“I’m fine, really. There’s an old saying that greed leads to the downfall of three generations…”f848b8c614abba77

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There’s no such saying.7a8b11aceff66720

I took a step back and looked at the researcher. Let’s change the target. The researcher seemed easier to deal with than Lee Gyeon.2387d2ff98b0fdcd

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“My skills are too lacking to support Lee Gyeon.”ccb3ae5322f0fdb2

“That can’t be. Your gate clearing scores and training results are outstanding, Guide Han Haegyeol.”a26f339fbb32177d

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I shook 599f6c2346 my head 4f54470453 modestly, but a7699522b6 inwardly I a03a569d5e snorted.c16500843596395b

Of course. I was the most outstanding talent in the Guide Center. Thanks to my efforts to become Lee Gyeon’s guide.2aa444e1d55d51d8

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Though now, what’s the use?fe73883f7a966efb

“There’s no one more suitable than you, Guide Han Haegyeol.”36ba511ddd217272

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The researcher spoke in f559aa98cb a pitiful voice. I shook my 0cd27a873c head.fe7b261ea2092404

“It was all just luck.”ee20e8897f33bcfe

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“You’ve hardly ever missed first place in four years.”e738d6b11bae3a18

“I’m very lucky.”714adf86334b03ca

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“No way…”8897cf3034b70265

“I’ve been thinking about the dedicated guide application, but I don’t think it’s right.”591e0abc51ebcc80

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Lee Gyeon withdrew his extended hand and crossed his arms. Our eyes met for a moment. I didn’t avoid it. It felt like a staring contest, and Lee Gyeon didn’t blink. I felt like I was being swallowed by his gray eyes.af8343df4cca93a1

“Find another guide.”7a9a3a25fd637919

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I’m sorry.81bee9536ce82fc7

I left the meeting 6f93bd8738 room as if fleeing.d372ceb5796c1613

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❖ ❖ ❖5dc8cc3cff1042be

I felt 68ff4d1754 empty somehow. Is this really the acbc1d0b02 end? Rejecting guiding 526b630ca2 was simpler 9f789c8674 than I d9468b405a thought, almost 704d40885c disappointingly so.9e571cd5e4fae549

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I skipped meals and fe073a0bbe afternoon training and holed 234ad52bbc up in my quarters. Lying on the c37a9243e0 bed, I stared 72e95db74c blankly at the 00a847d823 ceiling, trying to fd757a25c6 catch my breath. Is this really 602be78ca2 it?f2d4411b34ba4c7d

Sunbae came by a few times, probably wondering why I was cooped up in my room. Instead of answering the neat knock, I blocked my ears with music. The songs I liked around this time lined up in my playlist. No matter what song I listened to, my mood didn’t improve.8b96993eeb497f81

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“Reincarnate with someone else this time.”eee2bd357e4086f0

Even though Lee Gyeon couldn’t hear, I deliberately said it out loud.71965332cb3d1281

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“I’m not doing it.”53559c6027b5d7a6

It’s already the 89th time. I’ve done enough, haven’t I? If you hadn’t refused the guiding, we…1d0f821320ccd5bf

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As I closed 7031647331 my eyes and 7561a95007 held my breath, 4f3691841e my phone vibrated. Slowly opening my eyes 02a00843fe to check, a message ce8caa1808 from the Guide Center 714665ba20 had arrived.9f7776efdf88302f

[System Auto Message: Guide Han Haegyeol, a candidate with an expected matching rate of over 90% has been registered. Please enter a date you can visit the center.]

“What?”fb4b0bcf0742d92f

An expected matching dc05ecf484 rate of over 5656fe9e8a 90%. There had never d5c4a919eb been an esper 34b60498b3 like this before. I sat up 1d624353be in bed, clutching abf121a0e6 my phone, reading f276cece45 and rereading the 594dbf4036 same message.45aaaf5650c891df

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The message 527d6e4639 contained no e90f4f24df information about 2529b64d7f the esper. I had 32f0858cfc no idea a10bcab05e who it 84cfe81c9f could be. Throughout my 611d49b9b9 regressions, no ab22fc34ca esper other 7cd307810e than Lee fd0eb81e9f Gyeon had 98afed4468 shown a d11ac402a5 matching rate 9ca591dedd of 90%, 00aebfb83c or even f6ae1d7fe4 80%, with fcbab72e57 me.3b24fea5091ceff4

It’ll probably just be a D-rank, or at best, a B-rank. My arm holding the phone slowly lowered. If I become the dedicated guide for this unknown esper, I won’t have to follow S-rank gates and get hurt. It also strengthens my reason for refusing to guide Lee Gyeon.e5ee3aa8fe8585fb

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As I was 291fe25704 about to check e50bc22670 the date to 15905b20a5 meet the esper, 96ac6d729e the screen changed 5c54667121 as soon as 0c48ea3162 I pressed the f001ce4358 first button.ca6d5e334dc05e8e

[On-site matching scheduled for 9 AM, June 9th.]

“Tomorrow morning, right away?”d87810dde504de19

That meant 81afaff575 the other 7b24b3b337 party had 88dbebbc2a responded immediately 2bef0a8f59 upon seeing 3d8480be0e the message, 61b37082d0 saying they f4f73b56da needed a fa371731f2 matching test 36cf2e0547 right away. Was it an 0fa715f88e esper urgently looking 8e79d8d562 for a guide?8766f9f2339acf0b

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I checked the b5a38f8867 screen several times, 813cbd1eaf wondering if I 409b81d693 had misread it. No matter how I b3b7526a90 looked, it was indeed da38cb64a5 tomorrow.d21e0f231cf22d4e

The sooner, the better, I suppose…63f34f93fed578ec

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In the darkness, only 40a7b02c56 the square screen shone 6dec755268 pale.3a33315afcd13148

“Someone other than Lee Gyeon… Have I ever thought about that?”4a176e0848efc8ea

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I couldn’t be sure if I was on the right path.3c57ef7ba3c2b396

❖ ❖ ❖91080006a350f51c

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I headed to the f935db7ee8 Guide Center early in 6e2fc0f81d the morning without getting 7ab4045b59 a wink of sleep. If I became 250f46eb21 the dedicated guide 4a4a7540c2 for a new ad03bbc673 esper, I might 532a0a359e have to move ff81f0172d accommodations starting today. I had a19f4ac3a5 never paired 3b05ff0be0 with anyone 90e3d77a1e other than 01030a89c5 Lee Gyeon.d9624f16b8a80593

Is something like that b2d424caa6 even possible for me?c724bdbedc2ccd4d

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My hands 095bb8e9c2 felt dry c02db0fb58 and stiff b0614e8588 today.f46632f8fa36b5fb

Today, I’ll be guiding in the form of a handshake. It’s the guiding method that places the least burden on both the esper and the guide, and it’s less embarrassing.5d185c231b5e2099

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But that one handshake c7187e168f could change my future.e5ef3a1b1d3b13f7

Officially, I’m a complete rookie now. Even if I get dispatched on a mission, all I’ve done is shoot to protect espers in the backup team or run around in the rescue team. Just a D-rank.4c67d7949644eb77

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I was once the team leader of Guide Team 1, but I can’t carry a career certificate through regression.c778e5ee066d8dd5

Now, I can 8b5db44575 even perform beyond da492a13a4 S-rank when it fca3cf8d0b comes to Lee a51c5f8cd8 Gyeon.b6ed4b4d56e55f5c

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Even if I guide someone else, the basic skills won’t be different. If the center finds out my true rank, there’s a high chance I’ll be switched to an S-rank esper’s dedicated guide. The chances of running into Lee Gyeon would increase too.93042da32042c588

It would be nice if I could retire altogether. So that I don’t have to guide anyone in the center. But that’s impossible.0a8fc7a39a0638d8

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