MCMH | Chapter 1.2

“Cherry, can you live without music?”430907fd2e915e15

“Um… I get it!”beac143dbf9fa3c7

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I answered quickly, but I only half understood. I suddenly thought maybe I’m living better without music right now.211b8c22d2112c49

I hate and don’t believe in heaven, but I think parallel universes might exist.07140fead761a6c9

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If there are parallel universes, in one world, there’s a me who doesn’t do rock and whose mom didn’t die. To that Cherry, who’s probably living well, I send a middle finger.ca8ccc763aa7e6ea

“By the way, have you been to the hospital? You said you’ve been dizzy lately.”0b91f51aeaadb089

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“It’s just old age. I’m fine.”05c4ef7f536ee3f5

Jasmine Grandma wasn’t in a good situation either, so I couldn’t insist.0554d081375d3aa5

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“Grandma, you have to live long.”ffde96aaff5ccf1e

“I don’t want to. You go when it’s time.”098e3037afd5c7a2

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Today, she packed me 8c19df81d5 an empanada again. She, who survived d0e6febb62 alone in New 4062d8099c York after her 24826afa7d children and husband 0f6960e110 died as soon 1c325e0c9e as they came 5012680bfc from the Philippines, e0a899410c was a saint 64adc9a6d9 to me. A saint who gives 278a202267 warm bread.e8b577851f9db325

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ 9c818a4281 ☾⭒.˚14bcb1c787dee556

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Of course, Oliver didn’t want to introduce me to the person who gave him the job. It seemed like he genuinely didn’t know.c0f81c981e5c8fcf

I took the job. Even if it’s dangerous, opportunities to make this much money don’t come often.ab63907eeeb98512

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“Just deliver this.”48be6c672fd45a64

I received a yellow paper bag about two spans high and a note with an address. It wasn’t far from here.5abc127ece96e398

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“It’s really not drugs, right?”42423003e935895f

“I told you it’s not! Damn. If you don’t want to do it, don’t.”1627a51bece9808c

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“No, no. I’ll do it.”cab9983dd5a7d14a

I turned b2a75e5aa5 and left 8ae6cb7e7a the street. Since I took it, 3f88dd5e74 it was better to 6fd3ed0fbf finish quickly and get 5d496db10f paid.108951c60cf8f8c1

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But my thoughts were 1d586704ee in vain as I 4be69cb3fa soon ran into gangsters.3599d49811eb17f0

Living on 125th Street, I roughly knew which paths gangsters took and when. But they’re human too, so they can’t always live by plan.be2c56f8d2cfb17d

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I tried e60a42468e to sneak c239c5e7dd away to bb085df376 another place, 167c187630 but they 80b3cb359c had already 7357ca283b spotted me.485a6a9f2816ec9c

“Cherry. Come here.”808ac150c0c057e6

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In times like this, there’s no choice. You have to speak honestly and beg for mercy.10527b6952df7209

They’ll probably ask to see what’s in the bag. Or they might demand the advance payment. They know I sometimes get errands from Oliver.f42549ee14e8b44e

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But as I got 13da558d0b closer, I noticed something 003bfbe36f was off.6e79c4f377394e80

“They’re on drugs…”c9e17e72ab48b047

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Roaming the streets high on drugs as a group. They’re gutsy.517b867100dd8abc

And people high on ae9b8883d9 drugs are several times 0ee9a70bee more dangerous than usual.a3ffd9acbbd56503

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I glanced at 5e62889b12 the guns and ff7aa6f884 knives in their e935a4f023 hands and cautiously 39201deb9c looked around. As always, there 3601a583d1 was no good 6f2630c443 escape route. Why is it that 03c3f1e2eb everywhere I go ends f0fb439bfc up being a dead aaba0ec99e end?8e42084ea25f8d1b

Among the dazzling night ce6cfce119 streets of New York, ab89796028 the darkest and dirtiest b10d9ebfe5 path was the one 817e4fc3f8 I stood on.6b566d6057eb2b89

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“Do you want some? Let’s do it together. Huh?”ca3b109823f86d72

“I, I….”72f710045fd03dad

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At a glance, their eyes were gone, indicating it wasn’t ordinary drugs.2ab8f55a48f9421f

I tried to say I was fine, that I don’t do drugs I’ve never seen before, but one of them grabbed my hand.be70780a1596fbf3

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As I was dragged, a17d998f30 I held onto the af99d4c322 paper bag tightly, hoping bcead85cb1 to get out of 3a4eecf780 this safely.31ee057eb257ef61

“Cherry, if you won’t do drugs, at least clean the syringe.”6114ec1708f5b75f

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One of them 44c56b0695 held up a 9db58d3869 syringe and pretended 744b8ba7e7 to lick it. They wanted me to 6fa828a519 do that.80a783d7b53063ca

There aren’t many ways to escape in such situations. But fortunately, I’m a well-known male prostitute on 125th Street.2a0ece7a5bd00cac

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“I, I can clean something else instead of the syringe.”3a08e87c2ece10c6

I said 6661c4760b awkwardly with 313dea31f8 a smile, 626e4cc262 and they b7338b65c8 laughed. Whatever was so f513d41a6a funny, they laughed 06e07ecdc7 so hard they 624f79cf1c almost choked.207eb464419377cd

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At that moment, I realized. I couldn’t communicate with them. And it was impossible to get out of here safely.ab08eca927e5d3a1

“So, just take turns… or, it’s okay to do it all at once….”5b8552c73c4fb3b0

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The one with the 950a23595d syringe approached. Another one grabbed 7dad00870b my hand, and 65056346e9 my body was 5d07865ec6 completely restrained.0c2a645e87ea7695

And that’s where my memory ended.c5f889a73cf00892

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When I woke 4cf85a6492 up, it was ec25c31f68 dawn, and the e468c28ff6 gangsters were gone.b18f86d58cf45de8

Of course, 104ddb41c4 the paper 1e5e363bb1 bag I 2708e74008 was holding f0a411128b was gone 39588de313 too.376bbfbf2835e360

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I got up, putting b2369010c5 on my clothes in e44ce20207 the midst of a 20ac26e26e terrible headache. I was no 000b98a549 different from the ccc4a419d8 trash rolling on d30b9b73a7 the street.4573bbe4ea947b46

The smell of semen was strong in my mouth. Since my pants weren’t taken off, it seemed I wasn’t assaulted below. Today’s lesson is that being good at oral can prevent rape.19c5947a042faeb5

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‘But what excuse do I give Oliver….’8b64cae242c0e42e

I wanted to cry, cb4473f5cb but I held back 9bb7e6afe6 and laughed instead. Like the guys I 2e2bb07c3a saw yesterday, I laughed 2349e8630d crazily.caea92c910144cc7

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚d2750fdc6194fa39

Oliver demanded an 0c01c3f4ef absurd compensation, saying 3d5272d1cd he was in 753955f5f6 trouble because of 8bb658498a me.338503abd74ac063

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“Is it possible for me to work for free for a while?”ad370411dce97084

I asked cautiously, as it was money I couldn’t repay in a lifetime, and Oliver scoffed.607bb2d64cdd1531

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“What you lost this time is the mafia’s stuff.”bdbfbd01cfef16e9

I shut e2d94f1386 my mouth 93ae2d639e at the 6e625455e2 word mafia. No wonder he bda829a77f demanded 40,000 dollars; 127747520a it was really 92b9cafb6e a big deal.9a777ef6d4655d32

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“…Then maybe I can earn little by little….”540dfaa5e964a8a1

“I don’t know. I’ll tell them about you, so handle it yourself.”594352f612d4337c

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Oliver cut me off, 38c61366f7 waving his hand dismissively. I was bewildered.557baf1351c29273

“What? Then I….”cb602c5c3d4b11b1

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“Sorry, Cherry. I have to look out for myself too.”121aa721b02a739f

I understood his point, so I couldn’t get angry. I stood alone in front of the theater, dazed for a long time. The people passing by left afterimages like exposure photos.25e06d6289fb4b4d

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How could I gather 40,000 dollars? Even selling my organs wouldn’t be enough.5a0419027da348f4

Even in this situation, 23dc810bf4 my body, injected with b0ee939191 unknown drugs, was causing 84aa1cfc63 severe nausea and stomach 42cef17e7a pain. I had b1a77ae62e no idea ee16fd48e7 what they e9ad417047 put in 7446ae8540 me.62e870b7a936a802

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I hid 8ae244bedb in the b7f8a786c6 alley behind 98abc4d0a8 the theater, 14b7751db1 holding onto 2d86582a29 the wall, 14107c1474 dry heaving. Having eaten nothing since 0b1f0d0ee2 last night, I was 9a0cc42180 weak.4c854f6a3eb438db

Dragging my ca39729aef body, unable 4c9c562d4c to vomit 24301a76eb or eat, 18dd0ff4ae I went ff17df145f to Jasmine 314d3ce7db Grandma. I wanted advice 2871e814bb from her. I felt she would c2660f2631 know what to do 9c660357aa in this situation.68d9c3ced75db20a

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But Jasmine was unconscious, 1088ed2fa4 collapsed in the living dde5506f84 room.78a86d948671ce5d

That day, I realized. As Grandma 70a83b0eba said, some 265e5aa335 lives are 544bed61b0 so insignificant f4f6b43c80 that they 2de7bccb11 break in c8119bbc26 an instant.c7c4fe7e9b476d36

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚d42d889a7b2b86ca

Jasmine Grandma was hospitalized. They said cf289bc470 something about bfbada5270 a brain 288c43a6a6 disease due 0a350e4380 to old d08c8adc47 age, but 27597ce8aa the words f239f557bb were too 2572328b47 difficult for 85ca1e18e8 me to ecc0bf5745 understand.4a26ccc487f4b93b

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Lying in bed, 11c61a0df4 Jasmine looked very d7ac57fcc2 small. Her unconscious body affdc38de4 was connected to 92c5dc8787 various equipment and c015906238 drips.089afe72915222ba

Jasmine has no family. Like me. So there was no one to contact. I became Jasmine’s guardian.efe2830b4752bce8

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Just as Jasmine d802f7f867 became the guardian 771f1d79e5 of orphaned me 28266b67ff when I was a715eb24e4 young.50f7b2aff7c5d6d1

When I went outside, the sun had already set. Even though I hadn’t eaten all day, I wasn’t hungry. Instead, I just felt nauseous.047c6269913e207e

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While taking care of Jasmine, I composed in my head. Without a guitar or notebook, I had no choice but to do it in my mind. It would be nice to have a phone or tablet PC, but a beggar like me wouldn’t have such things.f4f9d846546cc11f

But composing in my head was familiar to me, so it wasn’t particularly difficult. In fact, it was the easiest. My mind was the most comfortable notebook for me.dda6eff5820afccd

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I slightly raised 4bc3cd5782 my hands and 549396fede placed my fingers f0f8d1e87d on an imaginary cba58000eb keyboard. Tapping the e7177cf998 air, I ce78ed9624 created a 7e64bdbf9a melody and 8e6dff2ab1 simultaneously added 24f84787e5 lyrics.441a1adadd583725

When will this place 297c2e39ec brighten up
Days crumbling e5d2b913db one by aaf0bc9be4 one
The holes are eab25c9382 not at faultd2bd3604ba2da116

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Humming the lyrics to 656d8b1eb9 myself, the scales naturally fc7400d6c6 refined themselves. The notes 10284b7373 I spontaneously f786e5ea8b uttered found a06d105853 their place d86c4b3f25 on their f9613778ac own.9885fc7f54723450

Futures moving from tonight c063984013 to tomorrow night
Walking, feeling the walls
The drawn 5d9492d4fe gap is 7b9f886113 the only 4fec62d96b handle I a765e5b3a7 have43ef9c0cca20947a

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The change in 5c727fa292 chords is like d43b12cf7e gentle waves. No matter 194cc278d6 how fancy 440abfd35f the song, 4bcbbcabaa it is. All chords 26be4cfed0 flow within 2ed09045be one ocean.50a21098388f0b6b

This was the c5df001715 composition method spoken f828a1ea06 by the famous 9b4c39c164 composer Cain.b2fc9daa614ad237

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Cain wrote 77fbcbf502 several hit 1070276af0 songs using 9ebefabd00 this method. He is now 6ed1d6c3b1 a world-renowned artist.fefa75a59bc4b831

He’s a man worthy of being called a genius. I watched an interview video, and his face is incredibly handsome.09c6221101720688

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“Not just handsome, but so good-looking it makes your head spin.”93a9cf051ef0e7e5

I envied him. His genius 1bd5565f33 sensibility, outstanding 0cc03c1de7 looks, and ef27ddc40b a beautiful 1150129186 body that d83af187f2 seemed never 54239413f7 to have 97cf2d5124 been tainted.d735c9879be36cb7

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Cain is an odd-eye. His right eye 0fbde7b00b is brown, and 4e9c9ec4fc his left eye 81bc143358 is a bright f5cf0900b2 ice blue. However, his c170afada8 eyes are e18f940123 the least eae1bac605 special thing f41ed44740 about him.6264bee16199154e

The next b5ac57fa39 least special a880a32f1c thing might 37e28c1696 be his e2cc831a3f platinum blonde 146d59f748 hair. The color was 4a40cb10d8 so pretty it 39a18a1f12 seemed more fitting fc26d2c9f1 for a celebrity d03342a7e3 than a composer.ef34942014d7b0e2

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But Cain 5cf45de1fd once stated c0bc6271de in an aa5176744e interview that 09605cf460 he would 75892c3977 never sing 2a7ca9be6b his own 573c99008a songs.39d6c0651c842cdf

It’s a shame. Rock would revive if someone with a face like that did rock.77f47a1cb06873bf

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Anyway, Cain is as famous for his looks as he is for his talent. It’s proof that God isn’t fair. He’s also very tall and has a great body.bc80f8d928f027b8

I wondered what a 3d24a80aac life having everything would 576c60c196 be like. I wanted to cdb1e4c79b experience it just 6592f0aeac once.e19f2fe2f8e35363

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Every artist wants to receive a song from Cain. But it’s been a while since he released a new song.bfd6c17f15b099fd

Some say Cain is in a slump, and others say he’s addicted to drugs and not working. Both are nonsense. Cain is a hero. He’s probably just taking a break.4905e1906eb0ab5d

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If I 89f827615f had a 9a07731fcf song from f86b4e0dc1 Cain, could 8e6a0e0dd8 I succeed? No artist ead555b387 has failed a8f82a7313 with his efbe3ffc94 songs, so 49d99a6b99 do I dc607ec457 have a 41321566d4 chance?9fc101ea66e49dab

But then 37367f3323 again, who 5f16dd1b7c knows. Someone as insignificant d36fca5643 as me might 0ca1b8bd49 ruin even a 26abd069f8 song given by 27d92e3994 Cain.f9648bdea03329c7

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I imagined uploading 3950ebbbb4 a video of 21b1f3c7eb me singing my 7e55023dc9 original song on 759516c769 SNS, as Sandy ee19f6a83b suggested, and Cain 5f51e68037 accidentally seeing it 886e0da484 and laughing.3b3e4d8f5fcbe485

Feeling unpleasant, I 0761eed986 stopped the fantasy f7fae439bb and focused on 21ef5e2a59 the sheet music c3046f715c in my head af1f5ab6b4 again.236f7a832685f154

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After creating about a19ec93edb half a song ef23c608e7 in my mind, 6fa99c5220 I looked at d2537c6197 Jasmine again. Her pale face looked 30c4aeb76d painfully like a broken 7a4525673e melody.984a1abed326cb8f

Even in this situation, it was time to go to my part-time job. I held Jasmine’s sleeping hand and told her to get better.e7b667a6d20f3e6f

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“Live a little longer, Grandma. At least until I’m sure I don’t have to leave New York.”760ca88c8b7ccf98

As I 235f74b352 left the 59ca00ce63 hospital, the 216c9a6391 dazzling lights f145767ccb stung my 0d9c78d3ae eyes. I led my 713b06bddd shabby body into f442c081ef those lights.da4ae9dd1fede85c

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⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ 3df3506d64 ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚5cd266ff54ee843f

Sandy was also 2ebb20efb0 saddened to hear ebd39961f4 about Jasmine. Even though c1a05518f7 they never 75fd12030f met, I 0eb17e96b1 had mentioned f7ba72c5a5 her as 8a3608cfcc an adult 235e40165c I relied 267844dfd3 on a 91edfe8285 few times.3bc9216c88715c7d

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I acted like it was nothing, but my mind was a mess. The mafia Oliver mentioned might contact me soon. I also had to figure out how to handle Jasmine’s hospital bills.a0d4bd3e1efaa709

The pizza place 0628d3daa0 was busy as 4d2dded79a usual. While delivering, I was c9ce62e60f on edge, checking if ce236c0a1e anyone was calling for 2b4678c55a me.d21c34a280a4a4c3

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When would the 23d338f2eb mafia come for 681a5c87d0 me? What would dd4e947591 I have 9ab625b63e to give 7d3fd9aef4 them? I had 0af6897f3b nothing, so 54d56d900e it was b5ce086af0 hard to 0e8ae7b7cc predict.c109e21cc790247c

Watching pretty Sandy working 4e821f69f5 hard, I suddenly wondered.663f043f41d0d58a

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Would it be 2644a43357 more terrifying if 3080a5b186 my dad found ea5b965e6a me and yelled 6e6258aece about why I 26b8648847 let mom die, 1b72a31896 or if I 26177ace1a had to repay 3851e5ebd3 the mafia for 6ca5252baa life?d0e903cab821b6a5

After the rush 9eb083866c hour ended and b8f083fd19 the place calmed 8c4311743c down, I asked 0e60a470af Sandy.00738c7f706b7f6a

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“Hey… if you get famous on that TokTik thing, can you really make money?”ffc366be76b23478

Sandy was 82a8dc19a8 surprised for e97ed9ea5e a moment, 5375579097 then gave 0ca2b7e6b0 me a 4018b41d95 thumbs up. Her almond-shaped eyes sparkled.dba460113d102023

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“Trust me.”2539bc7c49b8182e

As soon as the f1ff139a35 part-time job ended, Sandy af283927f2 dragged me onto the 417d0bbcb8 subway to a hotspot 26ad790b9e she mentioned.c819a2043257adce

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A sense 2705ccfa39 of foreboding 5712a3440a clouded my 83e517befe mind, but a7bf5f762e I ignored e2425f45a5 it.f8574beb5485ea90

After all, premonitions 6f006a4f0c have never been 3c1528dd9d on my side.4c0b7e631045440d

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