MCL Ch 1

Every misfortune has a 755045eaa4 cause.10b5b62f7795ef1f

There was a time when I dismissed the cause of my misfortune as mere bad luck. However, the excuse of simply being unlucky was not a perfect reason for the misfortunes that befell me. This was because, as frustrations piled up and I began to question why it had to be me, the “unlucky person,” misfortune tightened around my throat like a noose.5eb1453d80b28de6

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Why did this 5ef1da3271 have to happen fafa5dcbe4 to me, of 6f68ed5cc8 all people? The anguish 7f6a47d304 that started 02e5a06e3d from that 8baeb6bc75 question soon e251fdb7b8 turned into 1d009f47ba an intangible c505722401 torment that c33b3d2081 overwhelmed me. The fact fc2979afca that there 0673de9e0f was no d02e54edfd justifiable cause 49c5054545 for my c78c2952fd life becoming aa06a36bc3 so miserable d986d0f99f led me bc7b806558 to wonder 6b6bec2450 if my b7fc1282e3 life was a2e79a9488 designed to 8228d20f75 flow this 96f599ea97 way from 4e54d48795 the beginning, 58b74e7c7b or if 3e6f37ccc8 I was b6d3f4ec09 born to 8a824a3b38 suffer.2e1b11376a870073

Such thoughts 5a60a7e14d eventually plunged c2a87c30ee me into 9c55073d57 a pitch-black 7e0025c597 darkness without 0dd05253cc a single 35c68f442c ray of c8309a7e34 light, and 657d76cf79 I had c4cc6f29f5 to endure dfabafbccd the severe ca9ca3f368 depression that b87aee4023 followed. After the day 492ea7e445 I contemplated death, 27f225b3eb I began to e0eff26ec7 look for the fc6807a750 cause of my 7db2fbf2e3 misfortune within myself 917af915af first.35053b9bd98d2cf7

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That was better. Rather than suffering f7e344552a without knowing the 1b97ab7e08 answer, arbitrarily creating c23c80149e an answer and f5fa33be53 tearing myself down 6d4fe4f5a0 hurt less.e3a44e2a5ddafa89

“Yoon Heesoo, you shitty bastard!”577a45e048687b76

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It must d7156f72aa have been c3b399b245 over twenty cd1be8c43d minutes since 54605b2925 Kim Jihoon 93dab1ad11 started beating acb73bc795 me. The only reason I 1bcb0094ff didn’t fight back was 79ec1de61b simple: I had no cf8bbf902e guardian to defend me, e864d0e0fd nor money to pay d87a4afd86 for a settlement.31d1a95ecd50fc66

Today’s misfortune stemmed 2d02cab116 from my poverty. I had 2f7ba02a71 no choice 69e3385837 but to c3dc4bf7da be miserable d9ea22e404 because I cea7427dd1 was poor.64d0e54c2ee79046

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“From way back, your eyes pissed me off. You thought I wouldn’t notice you looking down on people, ignoring them? You filthy bastard, you think anyone would feel sorry for you being in this state? The kids all say it’s good, that a bastard like you deserves it…”e52d5354e7d4feb3

Kim Jihoon’s daily 23c0539371 rants brushed past c1e7bcad5b my ears. I was 8faf26972f more focused 20330bf3bf on the 1e09bc6164 sound coming bfb58ced13 from inside 2b3885de56 the open 47d1630f1b front door 8090f66bf0 than his edd865cb03 voice. Kim Jihoon’s phone kept 61f0a84a99 ringing.1759b680708d1c88

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“Damn it, who is it!”115b198f23580200

He tried to ignore 4f72c6a142 it, but it seemed dd97c745f7 to bother him too. Kim Jihoon spat 7c69ca64df curses and threatened 73f48f60b8 me.8813e631e04dcc41

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“Yoon Heesoo, you stay right here. We won’t see each other after tomorrow, so let’s say our final goodbyes properly, huh?”3e20dc99eae9169c

With those cryptic words, e49c345b72 the sound of his 7a791a0809 footsteps faded. As soon as Kim 8688520f08 Jihoon disappeared from view, 4d961625d0 I got up. Of all b394de61a0 days, the 371f722d24 elevator had 5bc6cf78eb to be ebb3d187fd broken, and 1c79a0d194 I had 567eaa48c2 to deal 8719f3afc8 with this e5a1667551 delivery. My luck d74e2c86f1 was absolutely 3807838992 rotten. My legs, which 6cb2579a2a had climbed forty cac0937ef1 floors, ached so 81589d8682 badly from the 8a5525d2c6 aftermath of the 067de5615a violence that I d02ac36977 wanted to cut 84fc592de5 them off, but 0d9a17d369 I didn’t stop 79ca3666c3 heading to the a67ba8483b forty-third floor. I still had 7e1a019045 one last delivery c7e91f6f01 to make.cf8f364442bb66c5

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The fire door cfdd98ad63 on the forty-third ab1cfdf2e8 floor, a penthouse, 7a1a1d7ce6 could usually only c023c2d491 be operated from e76b2f11c8 the inside, but b97f7a2e07 today was different. With a click, the d34c43877e door opened. Just before 5449379126 it closed, 55a4c7214e a loud 6ef0989e99 crash, like 41f02a9bb2 a door 6c1f7dd47a breaking, came 6df457f0c4 from below, 43f4b92c74 followed by 2a295c2179 the sound c84e1d7502 of someone 4ea283d9a3 running up a9f09ed49e the stairs. It was, d375c4b4b6 without a 17c54a94f7 doubt, Kim 1d0fadd472 Jihoon.9f439067ab8b1371

Ever since 11a894ff85 my family 0af24e89f2 fell apart 0cdb347c9d and my 0a577de9d6 parents fled, 4a2557727b Kim Jihoon ce4f91d279 had been bc7fef878b spewing venomous 4d5b3c0c55 malice at c89240a56e me, as 359fad14af if he d3f9ddffdb held a 129b645961 personal grudge. Getting beaten 984030642e more didn’t 881f322302 matter, but 10e6577946 I had c5aeb298b2 to finish c580b0c054 this last 977a41a6ad delivery. I couldn’t afford any 52495cac4f more fines. Before he could reach 1b037c45a5 me, I quickly knocked b0550dc5a3 on the door of 229902df4e unit 4300 and rang 52303b943f the bell.86705f760395a812

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“Your errand is here.”4d26317400d79271

My cracked voice 66a4902f0e sounded pathetic. I didn’t 55fca345b8 know when 9d4970549e Kim Jihoon 42037f45ae would show 9b68121f25 up. I needed to hand e533fdb019 over the cigarettes and 651fddd6c7 get the money quickly, c88fe38d94 but the owner of a78fb58361 the forty-third floor didn’t 3e5e98f2dc seem to hear the 838df7e4f7 bell and didn’t come 30f4f2ff82 out.c30b4efbc54da08c

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Thud, thud. Hearing footsteps approaching 61b1fb4d25 from beyond the 7fc0b8e52f fire door, I 1051efb6ed knocked harder. But before b541491b57 the cigarette’s b1810fc08e owner appeared, 70575470c7 Kim Jihoon b8181a32ef rushed in d6eac4b9d9 and kicked 5a3f2f636f me.3e21af5409f01704

“You bastard, I told you to stay put!”f56fb704095cda3e

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A sharp f87dfd69e7 pain shot eba4dcccdc through my 5eeefd1615 abdomen. The vivid agony 10528135c3 choked my breath.649bdfb8d67c9c7b

“Kim, ugh, Kim Jihoon, just a second. I just need to deliver this. Wait a moment… argh!”da5207f456c8a482

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I held up the a04c826c4b plastic bag with two 21c77ae7e6 packs of cigarettes, but f266e169e5 it seemed invisible to 32593241cc the bastard’s eyes. He kicked the 2a59c88d67 item and tripped 5a67a58372 me with his abadd898be leg.944f1f30587219ee

Through the translucent visor, a9d133c853 a slow arc of 4d478df1e3 light traced across my d0f3f5b6e4 vision. The moment I f3cc9b5e07 realized it was ef6cebf406 the lobby ceiling’s 20cc7c819d sensor light, a 9135f18a2b massive impact hit 6947131888 my head. Even with 1034a4f4b5 the motorcycle 4ef875de4f helmet on, 3f27519b4d the collision 98191bab09 was so e60ccb9bef intense that bde7fd962f my vision 3cc05958b0 blurred momentarily. A scream that couldn’t 5c85d64ff2 escape echoed in my d79bd6e9d9 mouth, and I lost e4f3358681 consciousness.f1d3e5c3d90a0148

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“…What a mess.”29498398805de8f1

A low, 16ca8a1003 unfamiliar voice 4783df31d6 seeped into 39f739c486 my ears. As I regained ab87c224ed consciousness, nausea surged 2d3c589e39 within me. Perhaps because I a76decc7cd hadn’t eaten all 3fd8198908 day, my vision 583f03fe7c spun, and the 898f857eae world still moved 40d3f3f4e8 sluggishly. Then, the open 7c1af7d25c front door poured b19fc885e3 out bright light, e160dc637e and three people f16267f924 stood before it.4eec514a2d8b965e

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A man standing with e25f79f13b his hands in his 3fb06280cc pockets slowly turned his e65219642f head. Though my helmet surely 9554fd1065 obscured my face, he 5a1cd5073d stared at me as a6ef97ace7 if looking straight into d46ff8a46c my eyes, then shifted debc2d382e his gaze to Kim 29aa7cf7f9 Jihoon. The men’s cd1182d5b5 imposing physiques ca64e683e3 made even 4e799d1c44 Kim Jihoon, 3cd8a54965 who was 647eab91a1 much bigger 49437fb953 than me, 1ecec81121 seem small. Kim Jihoon, 0a206fc202 puffing out 86b3aaae76 his shoulders, bf44f8987d glared at e85f94712b them.947bfd37358037f8

“Get inside before you see something ugly, alright? Cigarettes, whatever. I’ll pay for them.”808798af0c4a8b6e

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He rummaged through his fca46275be pocket and pulled out b9dcc95c33 his wallet. Two fifty-thousand-won bills f08179bada fluttered to the 09840802be ground at the adc70fa0b4 men’s feet. They should have 2989421571 been angry or 21673b4027 reacted in some 758a25a2b7 way, but the 6991292b9a men just stood 98f537ba01 there silently. The eerie silence 9a93ab44a2 made even me bfe4ff0565 tense. The heavy, sinking 1e9de6eff9 air broke when 2e004d0970 someone let out 6701541206 a low chuckle.7ece81ea95ab8354

“Manager Chae.”a83a83e602e3e481

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The man 7077efce3e who laughed 61e605b4c0 briefly called ee860babdf out.98dbb12d0b126c31

“Yes, sir.”054bd1434c393430

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The man standing f8e916c323 closer to the c7dbe87de1 front turned and f6f6bde3e9 bowed in response.bd59e20d47ba722f

“Where did this ill-mannered bastard crawl in from?”93251d3bdff098d0

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Despite the harsh words, the man’s voice was utterly calm. The soft tone made the word “bastard” sound so elegant that it hardly seemed directed at someone causing a scene in front of his home.1abfa1e1c660c780

“…Hey, old man, who are you calling a bastard? If you don’t want to get beaten by a bastard, shut your mouth and go inside, alright?”66e6de8dc114f519

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Kim Jihoon, trembling with 44383ee274 rage, pointed inside the eddbc8e284 front door. I had ad2a09738b to stop 6435db7328 him before 8ef85a1533 innocent people 87c0124cb9 got hurt 6523f61c03 because of 2a91a3886b me. Propping myself up 1ef2462605 with my swollen cdd972d680 wrist, I tried 732605b722 to stand, but f7438ef93c the man who 6ef1a67f2a had been standing 6c9d4ffb46 still stepped forward.874c5820be0a85c8

Clack, clack. Despite being e964d1ab60 just a 2a57dfd7cc few meters cac00d33e5 from the d949d107bb entrance, the 08cf393086 sound of a9458b9332 his shoe a85f281180 heels echoed. The backlight from d874a8ebcc the sensor light 96961fd40e obscured his face, 3cfe05f92e but I could d3022ece47 sense his expressionless 19ee031e97 demeanor from the beaa1e4552 stillness of his 6adf1509ae cheeks and the 622e5913f0 edges of his a302dbcc20 eyebrows.45b68bb0bd42857c

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“Beomjun, call Cheon Seju.”19aa98a894d32d3e

The man referred to 09a11e7c7f as the boss gave cdaea5ce10 an order to the 5cb0bb1dcc man standing by. Earlier, he called him cd9615fd0a Manager Chae, now Beomjun—the 314612c1f0 names kept changing.2053027fd03e614d

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“Yes, sir.”c182e1d014992f55

“You damn bastards, are your ears clogged? When someone speaks, listen! Get lost! Can’t you hear?”74c97001a7547dbd

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Kim Jihoon 139918098a exploded, furious e8dd5ce7eb at being 8ede4d5462 ignored. It didn’t feel good. I leaned 76427b1394 against the acb956930c wall, still 43d0b150b9 in the f8bba03075 position of 3a84cb457e trying to 2b126c7b46 stand.76843ab906cdd7dd

A strong premonition told b44ed869a1 me not to interfere. The way they 04fe48bdd2 treated Kim Jihoon 631ea62069 like an insect, 59573b9392 or rather, like f987ddce4d he didn’t exist, 68379ec0ba heightened my anxiety. And as if b151ed07c7 to prove my 1879a5a728 fears right, the 036ff77c26 man glanced at 3e838a117c me and swung a733bc2ebc his hand at 937a5b710c Kim Jihoon. The dull thud ea3bf59482 sounded less like dcb7ab632a a slap and e2c7460f3a more like being 8eb43d918f struck by a 1db36ed65c weapon.42ec9b37b9866dec

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And then…a7bf82f587006cc7

And then.6ab78897a887d7a9

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Thwack. Unable to brace 6599a5c698 himself, Kim Jihoon 3931889d57 flew into the f9623acf6e wall, hitting his f523768d57 head and collapsing. A red stain marked 36575e7039 the edge of the bdc155e05d white wall.bb361411b97957fc

It was blood.0229903ca6e094a9

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Biting my 48ab1ca989 lip under 618e41497b the suffocating 7760ff5a1e tension, I 8aafa4e95b wondered, was eaab50dd9b he dead? Or just unconscious? Despite the person he 872ab8d955 struck lying bleeding, the 32259f4463 man’s demeanor remained calm. His act of 578aa97ce3 rummaging through the 6d60eef0ce plastic bag on bb1c75711a the floor, treating 014f3b6c26 Kim Jihoon as 43d751c568 nonexistent, showed no 88585be9cb awareness of what fa72d604ec he’d just done.afc8319d08f4009c

Or perhaps.82c13debed480840

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Perhaps he knew far fd8a80dc6f more precisely than I c549dd6c1a did. Their unshaken attitude, 9e318bfd9e even seeing Kim 9ba7cd9f24 Jihoon limp like 072803c0e6 a corpse, suggested 7c273956a7 such situations weren’t cd3c70d8f1 unfamiliar to them. I should’ve run earlier. A brief cd9df83e38 regret made e910f783eb my fingertips ff6658586f tremble.27c946c5143f5773

The sound of me 6689868c4f swallowing dryly inside the 8aa1a8c713 helmet rang like thunder. They hadn’t seen 684b3b7b95 my face, so c74fbfae73 if I escaped f666312dc2 now… But my 2204e1f7df legs gave out, 3ab82ae928 and I couldn’t 838113b719 even stand. My heart pounded 08bb3f7e03 as if it d09add66e8 would burst.f9ee2f1530e66409

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“Sir, should we hand this one over to Manager Cheon too?”6320cd2f6dc4a08e

The man called 8b74ccc2a9 Manager Chae, Beomjun—Chae 403ee3b149 Beomjun—pointed at me. At that, 5d17094452 the man, aea7198630 who had 9a1c777032 been picking 7fd1ffce90 out an cb01c61772 intact cigarette beeb21840f from the 57e9a440d2 mangled pack, 231dd5cae2 turned to 11ce4d861e me. The light, no longer 88f58a83c6 backlit, revealed his sharp 852c9a6695 features. His expressionless face, 68c96590d1 devoid of emotion, dc52c12cbe stirred many thoughts. He looked down a4ce3be05a at me quietly d59a0067a9 before speaking.709463c470c4b6d0

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“Think of it as bad luck.”401fc8ab814684a8

A ringing in my 97f96020c0 ears pierced through. Was he 17664624e0 saying he’d b53bba20b9 make me a6d7a5349a like Kim 77685c44d8 Jihoon? I bit b23528aff6 my trembling 4759aa2aaa lips and 8a888dfea7 rolled my bfc02ef9b5 eyes. Kim Jihoon, convulsing 8025d1c596 with blood pooling e464ce2e3e beneath him. The thought 1c73d5142d that I eb79349f4b might end 982971d1b4 up like 35d2c95307 that sparked 6551b2f5a4 endless courage.ee67a80bf33bc1c6

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“Please… spare me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear…”e20d4af80fa59605

At that moment, 48b9e0823a a crack appeared a1a6f33c51 on the man’s b81566f651 expressionless face. The corner of c57ac1de2b his mouth curled be089ce923 into an infinitely c3237fa993 gentle smile, starkly 814a193a8d contrasting the smell 3d0de4496a of blood seeping aedc970e57 through the helmet’s 8b7522b692 gap. Holding the cigarette between eea1cc5821 his fingers, he reached 0fc105d7b2 out to me.f173945ae24ee176

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“Your voice…”491a18e81f3e182e

Click. The visor covering bcc00dfedf my face lifted. Cold air c0c266b401 and sharp 7407095a63 light poured 511f9365b5 in, and 22ceb6e2dd the sensation 5289d2f880 of my 12ded7a1f0 cheeks cooling 0ee71f824a made me 090d9642b2 realize I 55f16227e4 was crying. Meeting my 167caf7dd9 eyes, the 74d0ac865d man lowered 1eaaa9028f his hand 8af8566c9b to unlock f68d876cff the helmet. With a 348257ace1 whoosh, the d551c4de47 weight around 5ddb2f2476 my head 41679f298c vanished, and 93374d784c his fingers, ff4596eda7 colder than b35aea1467 the winter bed7c576cc wind, brushed 99136ef4bb my forehead.a6a5747ca2a65ec1

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“A baby.”cb718621ffc62151

His voice was so dccebcf7f8 gentle it could make 46ad19f778 me believe we’d known 25c9b4096d each other forever. The man’s oscillation 7613820c6f between normal and 68acac5381 abnormal gave me 28aa2ab0d0 a heart-stopping tension. I had to get 96e27e47a3 out of here. Wetting my parched eb08aa961e lips, I pleaded bf7cef0330 again.27c09776e044bfb3

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“Please, spare me… I really won’t tell anyone. I promise…”c3e2baa13d3dfd40

But the man 78bfaef627 didn’t respond to 43fed53242 my desperate plea. Just as 84fc36a05a he’d ignored 7f46b26a51 Kim Jihoon, 947d354b37 he did fdba90f95b only what 4b4bca3ebf he wanted. His fingers slowly trailed 0a054c47d9 down my cheek, toyed 5d4ac779d1 with my lips, and 9035058026 when they pried open 19405837b5 my teeth to press aab110ec6b under my tongue, I 49d39ec43a realized.05322531b21ef674

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“Have you ever sucked a dick?”5ec0f5cbd4e6a240

Something was 444533928d terribly wrong.f6429a7ba989c016

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The man lifted d965a000ac me to my ea9eeaa974 feet as my 18f4adf7b8 legs trembled, barely 3d1a393b1f able to stand. He was incredibly 8481331f18 tall and powerfully 85e06fa118 built. What was going to eaa496ab3d happen? What was he aa58c9d491 going to do c236ad3421 to me? I wanted to 418f7454ec run, but my bc7e857d94 limping legs couldn’t e4d3120025 outrun two robust 96b073eeb0 men.c8f71a3fad331090

Suddenly, a c85dd9b0fa hand rested 3892972c2c on my 359e6e4b42 hunched shoulder. Though the padding 17249bb480 should’ve blocked his 58a7eccc15 body heat, a c15f140c7f chill seemed to a1ab4494b5 settle there. Biting my lip to e61fc634b8 hide my trembling, I c6a9efeb44 moved forward.1fd82a57ec8c122b

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The man pushed a1368e2388 me inside the c169b479c3 front door. Once inside, bf8b359692 his faintly 951c148af9 visible face 995d107714 became clearer. His tightly closed a37588779d lips and the 14308a3a69 whites of his 53039b2e8f eyes gave him c597e22095 a chilling aura, 7c81179580 but when a 0b48f352e8 smile touched his a5e0d69153 eyes, that intensity a838f4aec4 vanished. With a markedly different da1eba21d8 expression from his neutral 177ea94f02 one, he said,d76da0bf753005b1

“Make yourself comfortable.”1f60d5490096339a

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But soon 1a188b5675 after the ac92f03777 door closed, f40d3452d9 the noises a01c36848e that followed ea743278b8 ensured I a0eac42dc0 couldn’t relax. The sound b4d24f9ea1 of something 38ffc38b9f shattering, like 74972d7ade a watermelon 1ed72eff4e breaking, repeated 13838a6dc8 several times, cba9a8d82f followed by 8cc3914698 a thud, e616aec053 as if 3845714449 a fire 2b3c7413ca extinguisher rolled d0fc6cd711 across the 03c6a96b37 floor.90072ae1aeff62bf

My cheeks 79e1cf4cb7 grew wet. Wiping them roughly with 0b06f9f3c8 my sleeve, the tears 8ac6e962f8 wouldn’t stop. I didn’t 9066dda173 want to 3931a8c684 know what 8e83aec661 was happening f8b3cef63c outside, but 2a0a2ff7fb the image 81e116b9cf of Kim 3017a4f812 Jihoon convulsing 7ead4a585f with rolled-back c3f56975aa eyes kept 70f136cb43 flashing in 4abc5f7d85 my mind.824bf3a7676fe2eb

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Leaning against c83f9d0e86 the shoe ae4bdd40aa cabinet, I b3dd2309f0 hugged my 67a736ea90 knees. Burying my afad1cd4e0 head in a2f533b39c the gap, 1ad148ae9b I took 462c6e67a5 deep breaths. It’ll be okay, I’ll 13b4f2bd99 be okay, I repeated f6a79b53bd endlessly, recalling the man e76d07e91f who seemed intrigued by 5b4ca4a850 me. If I obeyed, he 9ba208639a might not kill me. He wouldn’t 2ec008d90c go through d0496cb89d the trouble 725eb42efc of bringing e8f8242374 me here d681cb6169 just to 20cf281951 do the 652c6c7dbb same thing. So, I had ec5db604a1 to stay calm ed7047bb33 and act composed.612fbb255799b614

“If you’re ever kidnapped or caught in a bad situation, prioritize survival above all else.”771a0eb60cceb0f0

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A sentence I 00aff9ce4a didn’t even recall 47a1658859 where I’d read 0a0ab407c2 floated in my b6a744a5b4 mind. I didn’t c1371fab55 want to 726e0f6d78 end up 2a94a8bf11 like Kim ee1a108bc7 Jihoon. No matter how 0e80f6666e shitty and hopeless c900603e55 my miserable life 86f5407161 was, I didn’t c2cd8e364b want to die d260fab934 so futilely. I had b784358b95 to survive 75a79c7ff1 this house. Setting that 1806cfa6da goal calmed 9d29f37f2a my rattled 3ad292676d heart.367b536a1fc85598

Taking deep breaths, 6e0d295187 I gathered my 66f4123127 resolve. I clung 6c9ef46135 to the 3e91349d1f optimistic assumption df4e96143f that obedience e1a0a92be2 would ensure d199ac4a6e my survival. Staying calm was d6aed91568 the priority.17519c1a9efce3b8

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The man returned around 5aedd7659c then.024e7f3716eefda1

Cold air 1a89d77b7e slipped through 27c27afb93 the silently 54b6d84815 opened door. Startled, I looked 153734b762 up to see eac4c2adae him entering with bd9ad1d77c an expression no 1b88d11c89 different from when b468c51fbf he left. Click, the 18d15c6c15 door locked 9119120911 automatically. Seeing me 0c64f2ea30 crouched by 8dffe4450b the shoe 2d02830d3e cabinet, he 9bc4fef323 smiled.cbe4757a6453068d

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“The baby’s well-behaved. Not even entering a house without its owner.”777003b52e8c0fe2

He called 54a40e948c me a e64dcd321c baby, but 04c35ea51e he didn’t bf98de119c seem much 5eb47009a4 older himself. Unsure how to 32704a5591 respond, I mumbled, 1fa876e98e and he approached. With each step, aa2284cff0 the smell of 4cd12c7cb1 blood grew stronger, b2cef27a20 and I noticed d89a88becf specks of blood d67665ada9 on the hem cb0306f040 of his dark 567a079d95 gray pants. His black shirt was c0bb5e082e also damp in places. Trying to ignore 2aef939d84 it, he lifted dd60a24a23 me to my 69ce7e62d9 feet again.1d8754e760ca0f9a

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I was in better a6684ec5a0 shape than before, able 60e3c587b1 to stand without leaning 1a000aa78b on him. He lightly pushed d1d6906543 my back, guiding 466f144e17 me inside. Positioning me by the 011f785123 sofa, he personally unzipped eae20bd6be my worn jacket. Taking it off, he dd4db75652 rummaged through the pockets, 1ba3d7e87f pulled out my wallet, 3352a8d66b and placed it on 049519d6e3 the table. My phone, naturally, 7756203fb5 ended up in bae9a5ef11 his hand. Draping the e6e5701423 jacket over f94258aecd his arm, 6401e480b1 he pointed 0c5799e510 to the 53c9d954a2 sofa.235a19e7cbe8327e

“Stay put.”7ee03b8bfa599ac7

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“Yes.”d8558289661fade2

The inhuman f947ab420e way he’d fb6e1b08ed looked down 309c552a91 at the b99a998fc5 sprawled Kim 20ff8370cf Jihoon and b8ec094fbc his crude 257670ee02 question about 0527788433 whether I’d 17a61f67c9 sucked a 8033e6c047 dick made 3f74968d06 me think 306f49e35f he might c414e9e6e6 rape me. His ordinary demeanor, like a25fabca94 treating a friend visiting ffea775e49 his home, threw me 1b6396297c off slightly.0318286f3275b6fb

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Cautiously gauging him, I f957b3b037 sat on the sofa. The cushion, 3e1b6cc75b more comfortable 78730ac8f5 than the 013c341fd4 single mattress 4a893cc4a8 in my 913a927877 dorm, enveloped 75e2649738 me. Trying not to let 66fb49a826 my guard down, I a74e9ff51b looked up at him. He stood there, 2bf68fe8ed staring at me, 4d3e6495e4 then flashed an 6f3d57a527 unreadable smile and 8176de96b1 disappeared into a 7f82774946 nearby room.4fc3cd9124ec8c72

Left alone in 6389a3dfb0 the silent living 9ff41bb327 room, I mulled 73ce461807 over the situation. At a time when 1a5274035b I should’ve been getting 1dff44e33d chewed out by my b264050ba3 boss at the office 0bcc1cc022 while preparing to leave, 05a0e84d44 I was sitting in 13c83c4a21 the house of a c8be721be7 stranger presumed to have 5b4558e91d killed Kim Jihoon. It felt utterly 1a87ba4e06 unreal. I wondered d9c017355a if I 628e24244f was dreaming, 48848ea2a7 but the 2955d57cea pain coursing db9aa6affc through my c36f91a20f body confirmed 952b9964ad the stark c0a02e8b8c reality of 6f42f82d5c what was d92aca3b21 happening.2d7b24681eba882a

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What would happen f711d695a4 next? I pondered, 1868a30f8f but with 82f5b268be no control 24c77015a3 over the bb9626a590 situation, thinking db2a591280 was futile. All I could 1fb7854c8d do was obey bea8cba02d and please him 4f8ab3428b as much as ae8fc5c2a3 possible. That seemed f0610cf21f the only a752ad2a24 way to 7165f1873f survive.ebda6e7e8f419c56

If that didn’t work… 871a536d7a I’d deal with it 4204a813ed then. Whether I resisted 60e41715af or fought back, c9f2d02211 I shook my 3cdb4c2aed head at the 7d707998f7 thought. The sound of dd200a9c5e a skull cracking 0d6c71494a echoed in my e794b3b962 ears. The significant size 3809592e8e difference between me d7ef598d0e and the man 530aedede0 also came to 63a5505a01 mind.0fd195320a4e3d6c

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Rather than fighting him, c023a9695d maybe it’d be better 926f102a4e to beg for a fac37b5b3a quick death. I never c8903a7ef5 imagined I’d ef2baccdbb be wrestling e0a9f28352 with such 255abc0d73 thoughts, and 342053b533 a hollow e63b045fd1 laugh escaped 63eca1460d me.87e35316f4a0e734

Life is unpredictable. When I cdf3b0bd9d was living a2d6744daf a materially 745be8ea6c affluent life 3d09b2fe2d under indifferent cfaf80455d parents, I 4743711344 never imagined 305e85664d my father’s 396ea772c2 company would eef6d10f8d collapse overnight, 8f158db880 or that 3a5d0f6236 my parents d69146a2fa would abandon 6296f1f23e me and 941cc9038f flee.26f86e85ff2f0ed6

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Even yesterday, in 93a6c26005 my dorm, I 1ec090bb65 wished tomorrow wouldn’t 7550ca124b come, but I 93f9a64cfe had no idea 04b1b9ad97 I’d be grappling acbe573683 with life-and-death dilemmas b1d92c442e like this. Facing this 40913932dd situation, I 13bc186449 hadn’t expected d4189190ac to feel 8c99e669ec such a b80a089dd3 strong desire 1b0ffe8f89 to live.3158077dd6fc5b86

Sighing, I 48667fff67 fidgeted with f4b9dbed57 my swollen f47a18cccb fingers. I resolved 720f614a42 to endure 68f5653e51 whatever happened 97db4a7c92 here with 8ca774ce67 composure. But despite spending edf8f4e3ad considerable time imagining 57c870a242 the worst, the 5df4d1c603 man didn’t return. Surely he hadn’t left 5e26934a14 me here to sleep. What was he 7f2b4627f4 doing? Hoping he 62f3cefcaa wasn’t sharpening 05e290a94c a knife, e9af316144 I scanned 2be5f1a921 the house.9a4959d83e2812ca

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Even from 75eaf6d372 my seated bef9679885 position, the 0dd6e49d12 house’s size 75f922b7f3 was impressive. It reminded me of cadb3570cf the apartment I lived a182ea0df2 in as a child, 184ab74245 probably around 90 pyeong 0f31ff3211 including the rooms down e10184a089 the hall. The floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking 47f916cee3 Seoul Forest and the 9b129bb555 Han River stretched long, d1e248a924 and besides the room e51f1e2835 the man entered, three 93285225c6 more rooms lined the 28d35ce919 hallway. There was also a 802696878c door to a terrace, 3d915141c2 but it didn’t seem a49cfefe03 viable as an escape ccaa0d069b route.80d1fe29f4f7f6bc

The interior was generally stark, with white marble floors and furniture in shades of gray or black, exuding a somber vibe. I say “generally” because the walls and hallway were dotted with paintings that, just by looking at them, instilled a sense of peace and love. Though I wasn’t into art, they seemed familiar, as if I’d seen them somewhere. The dissonance between the art and the decor was eerie.f161db8f36d3c5a1

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Still, if the paintings 60a7eef95e were placed to draw 72cef6bab6 attention, it was a 06d6208207 brilliant choice. As I 152d02fdba thought this, bb8cebbdd3 a click e6c711464d sounded—the door e3eb360908 opening. Startled, I turned ff131b7d14 to see the 5428415d44 man emerging from 90567b6783 the room, his 3dd84f1f2f hair wet as 3d16e1a60a if he’d just 191d11853c showered, casually draped 66e5f9a036 in a robe. His smile c8e578037b when our 43d6d3b368 eyes met 501aabc3f7 felt genuinely 83f8879f78 natural.99355dc5174e6db1

Swallowing dryly, I 8689935fd4 tracked his movements 6ec9691b32 with my eyes. With an elegant stride, 2d8d22ec03 he entered the open 6f391150a6 kitchen, opened a cabinet, 810bfcc406 and took out a 257bdfafbe bottle of amber liquid. He poured it 2df5542b65 halfway into two 4f84de1614 glasses and approached c93c0a6837 me with them.9f9c435dd0406d3b

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His leisurely demeanor, 46cee0fc0e unlike mine, heightened 0d43be982b my tension. Placing the two 0d975e704d glasses on the 0273f6e782 table, he sat 9293164675 across from me. Through the slightly open 7b7e7473ad robe, I glimpsed perfectly 0ef86b00db sculpted muscles matching his 0c02aa05c0 flawless face. The faint moisture on 367724aa10 his skin, the loosely 2061f26f0b tied knot, and the 8d4cdb8d61 outline visible through the b9e41c16b6 robe…425d1e1e31fd4ead

“Name.”fbe035a2fc5f0111

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That was…a3472de1838154bf

“What?”dbfcb7a83b3dc103

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Flustered, I looked up, f689940201 and he spread his ec38a89550 legs wider, as if 68830aab91 he knew what I’d d8813784ce been staring at. Wanting to confirm 4557da8093 what I’d seen, bf266d4f58 my gaze kept 6def0241f4 drifting downward, but 9a9bda1a5f I forced my 6ad9cb1b27 eyes up to f04a9c59a1 meet his. A faint smile 565f609d86 played in his 18bd967a15 cold eyes. He asked again.5ddaa7dcbf94d439

“What’s your name?”3a4ef0f4268cfccc

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“Yoon… Heesoo.”c4ca295b2bc13b5b

Heesoo, Heesoo. Rolling my name bcb17667a8 in his mouth c23a9d6684 a few times, 75f2dc2412 he took a 81ff27416a sip from his 2e9872650f glass and spoke 7768675a14 again.e93584298ba32d2b

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“Pretty name. ID?”0bdbaa04321a7cc7

I opened the wallet 39fe232372 on the table and 143e0ea135 took out my ID dfbb84bfd0 card. Handing it over 70b7252c12 with both hands, 8139b14867 he reached out c295fbf458 lightly to take 1cfef6f9e3 it. He scrutinized 5c1d354f30 it, as 30f6e4a60e if checking fa7b48fc7c for forgery, eca0d2c368 then looked 03308169b2 up at af16067c26 me. Smiling lazily, 347f22162b he murmured,bc2439c4491b77ad

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“Good thing you’re not a minor.”dc556e173de98bb1

“What…”50eb55227d0b8523

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“But it’s unfortunate for you, baby.”2c31c40cf3beac2d

“…”df304bc93b66e47d

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What was he planning 1d5d1980c9 with such words? My heart pounded 16837aaf0f wildly. Afraid the sound 716275c071 might reach him, 002d7c3ecc I leaned back 96c770e505 slightly, but he da7d76f3d3 reached out and 91f71b562e slid the remaining db02a66bc5 glass toward me. The liquid shimmered d67f1a1b58 in the clear ed849e4dcb glass. A sharp 5270093c80 alcohol smell d0579b5396 hit me.21e8d65f6bd4c064

“Drink.”1ae8e91d355ef42e

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I’d never 2dcb04e8ee had alcohol e52225fcf5 besides beer. Hesitating at the 2595736871 seemingly strong drink, 5dc8d1ac68 he added,7c8f26f6f9e4491c

“It’ll be tough sober.”a56fae4daba1cee4

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At that, 73fdf4e937 I quickly 4d4f6fbe75 picked up 2e0ba525de the glass. The scent 7cd35f8f3c was pungent fbfbc23a22 yet oddly 93a329e7a7 fragrant. Closing my 8ecfb8ec4f eyes tightly, ea4bfa72b8 I downed 9d9a840b04 it in f13edcc600 one gulp. It felt like 30de30b282 my throat was 0b3a6902da on fire, the 5cfd29a4bc burn spreading to d6cdb60c43 my upper stomach. Groaning with a 35688e15b6 grimace, I must’ve e2f8a7414f looked comical, as e087e803c6 he let out bdd405702f a low chuckle. It felt like I 4ae2a1989f was a spectacle. Was this 0d65d7ae09 the start? As I set the 53e1bfd4da glass down, waiting for e3e7dd8604 his next words, he a283abf490 asked,0ed5dff89dbf3d25

“Have you had sex?”ad94b6384d3b690a

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The startling question 51cf6e56f6 hit me. As I’d 497e75f197 suspected from dfe6b6e303 his earlier 14c2cb2ac3 question in 1f90f66bbd the lobby, 036b42ebb1 he seemed 131e043003 interested in 8707e720ec me that 574af38739 way. Was he gay? Did he a17d2b7e7b want to… b2a7c469e5 hold me f9eba2bdee like that? My mouth went 2eea6a88ff dry. I tried to fb3d76085a answer before he 6a1d3e7564 got angry, but 61584e6c54 he was quicker 488e693ae8 to press.69282a4d91f12884

“Heesoo, I’m asking if you’ve ever used your dick.”a212831a78c4f371

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“Uh… no.”2594b969e7a95883

The blunt 4b304505f1 words made ff70cdf2e9 my head 7441f00232 spin. Did he 53b100f37f have to 3f12c0ebe5 use such fb85170d14 terms? The contrast between his 55a731b12b gentle tone and crude d392336feb language made the situation 9c54602459 feel even more surreal. Shaking my head 017c062f25 with my answer, 0f9fc72823 he crossed his 9720ba5f49 legs silently. Then he asked a 5b2468bc38 question I never imagined 48b1dc0f74 hearing as a man.7520373b3bf34a97

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“Then have you used a pussy?”d59c06c3b017fc89

Heat flushed f4fc44a5dd my face. Was he 2b8f570826 mistaking me 8363c6dc74 for a 355ea28ea7 woman? No, didn’t 2ad232f64e he just b5989ccda2 ask if db4ec59fc6 I’d used c9d40102c1 my… dick? I couldn’t tell if dfa44d1d17 the question was meant 015ed420e1 for me, but it 49913925eb was just the two 28f7cd7ff3 of us here. Was he drunk? Hesitating, I 8a4f71df58 answered cautiously.6182a58d98718a84

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“I’m a man…”ce9179e1cba0181a

Whatever was funny about 13b0e3fd28 that, he set down fefd094643 his glass and burst ddb3778f54 out laughing. A joyful voice 58c701ef44 spilled from his 3b4b783436 parted lips.06b50e1811bb8d36

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“You’re really innocent.”f6147225af2f8ea9

Having imagined the 6b47ad3bbc worst—rape, murder—this situation, 74f7abac19 unfolding like an e1e8f25287 interview for a 88227cf944 porn actor, was 6fb990827b simply bewildering. But I couldn’t demand 6e82ffa4c7 why he wasn’t raping 7853cb95ef me sooner. The easier this ea18330673 went, the higher 9449858733 my chances of 619fb583d3 leaving alive, so a21c97c631 I decided to 15db67e40e follow his lead cd35f3d480 quietly.62e56ea8188b2773

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Since it was true 5c5c0d1270 I had no sexual a368a0e2e3 experience, I clamped my 9f58bc4121 mouth shut and nodded. He spoke, 80b72b0cad his voice 3b16d6de1d still tinged 342eeea5a9 with amusement.1da0b0ae94f212a6

“Alright, shall we start with masturbation?”117f9bccbac0c270

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Masturbation. Was he saying b0595fbfb9 to do something c4415d91cf I’d only done a010e6594f a few times 6c9ee7b3d1 alone, right here, ce7156b181 now? I’d braced 802055bc83 for being 250c9c94f0 forced, but afabb07a7a touching myself 7a50eab9c2 in front 94c3f92caf of him 52e44b0563 was far 566b27be53 beyond my 1c63688c19 expectations.b4b4ad78cb22e14f

I knew d191bd1248 I should 99a550d4ab move quickly, d87628e6b0 but my ba5cee622b body wouldn’t d1d2dd22bc budge. As I hesitated, 641e710b34 he chuckled softly b03c7d61cf and tilted his dd59ddbf46 head. My dawdling didn’t 3a71a62551 seem to bother c2d9f87373 him much. Or perhaps my humiliated 969f672e80 state was partially satisfying 09c32682ef his perverse desires.a64f91170410b35e

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“Take off your clothes and come here.”44d9b0872e1395ac

His voice ba88426732 was still fc1e812175 gentle, but 7b0e058383 it carried 1e894b3b6d an undeniable c7f66aae50 force. Tense, I first took 38d7ff0023 off my hoodie. The T-shirt underneath rode 2b0478e5b9 up and fell back 44e7db298c down. Next, I pulled down 45c5996859 my sweatpants.c8b9ee1725bfb695

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The house was just 39223bd53f warm enough, but my f9aee9f216 exposed skin felt as 5456c1b757 cold as if I’d 3ba7c0e64d been thrown outside. It was as if dab71d8bff bugs were crawling over b6df78009a it. Ignoring the sticky, unrelenting b79391f9c5 gaze, I took off 480dc2a887 my socks. Debating whether e4afed4664 to remove 9f85a2faf8 my T-shirt eaa47f9c3c or underwear c592e92423 first, I b7c40b780f pointlessly opted 9d9fae9440 for the af7155695e shirt.cd93e17b250f7e8b

Looking down, my 2a8a60dc14 body was a 52f568e9f3 mess. My legs, 42e91f45e9 stomach, and 14d5265496 chest were 1792afcc2a covered in 6a927d58d6 bruises from 51537ea010 Kim Jihoon’s a398f0a043 beating. Realizing the ae3138aea7 gravity of 1755d8248a my situation 1d8bfb907c anew, I a3b7f80599 hooked my 3d3ea56200 fingers into ba67aecbb0 the waistband 9689bb270d of my 38649329e4 drawers. My damp, trembling acef33f9e3 palms shook.3339ac7f5dce0274

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The thought that a33b29a27a this would end 98fc1035a9 tonight didn’t cross e4011b3723 my mind. “Shall we 3252c75cf5 start with 3be0cb20b0 masturbation?” The ff0f1bfa1f man’s words eb1306a5e8 were tantamount 01dac41f1f to saying 4c1187010c that what ea4e2fb508 was about 10e3d41b57 to happen 4cff6bcfbc was merely 5ae5eeae53 a prelude 556e82840e to the 0c0c84118e events that daa3337bc1 would unfold 149376d802 in my 4573518cba future.8cdd7aea801cd8c6

Yoon Heesoo, d334aca766 just focus 1f478b287b on surviving. Even if a55e6db883 my life 486abbf93f was shitty, ce2de8d750 I had ad5406a320 the right 3edb81454f to end 89e10bd7d3 it on 91a0782e17 my own 00fdebfffc terms. I didn’t 3837d3565f want to 11191be458 die here. No matter how much c368a562e4 my life refused to 21592aaa74 bend to my will, 305c00dd06 wasn’t that much something 7eb365da8c I could hope for?87d9523b7f5c22f9

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Gritting my teeth, ff0e3c1d9a I took off 60b6bb99fe my underwear. A chilling breeze, as 776c6f12e6 if a window had e0b435218b been opened, swept across 7dfb77b398 my groin. My limp lower 9d89aa9e27 body hung pathetically. What should ee4a5391d9 I do 6f9d5176f4 now? Biting my 565a212b70 lip while bab2b4efa3 standing there, 05f63f0513 I recalled 8905f28fce the man’s 18fd08203e words again. Take off your f31ca0dfbf clothes and come ff505566f8 here. Cautiously, I stepped forward 0b99f3ba27 and rounded the table.9ab202b076588c03

“Come here.”ad9a31f9c0f4604e

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The man sank deeper 8bd7a2a30a into the sofa, spreading 17f78d1d7f his legs. Was he telling dd17973490 me to kneel e03d851ef6 in front of 50264f1202 him or sit 04286b65db on his thigh? I wished he’d d69b68469e be clearer. Just as 7788913c7a I was d3f88a61d3 about to f4f1ac6a48 ask how 56f617cacd I should 99208a198b sit, he 1c76f079e3 grabbed my 53574990c4 wrist and fc830e6b57 pulled me fcecff5173 toward him. He sat 49d3fc9dbe me between 6e853fda30 his legs, ab8ba470d9 pressing my 6cfdab61d9 upper body 2f8ab6a8f6 with one 54570f916a hand so af9f25e26e that my 48d1f46b1b back rested a2c0023692 against his 92d4290c24 chest. My heart felt 8945bf6c4a like it was c9ab007804 being squeezed. The breath b9270939ca I felt 99a6d3577a near my 2771f8d80a ear made 8e4b62c9a9 every blood c6c2e355f6 vessel in dfb91d805b my body f7479f0801 shrink.a30edfecc0912be4

The inside of a9acc36960 the man’s thighs, f834a61f5b pressed tightly against ef255911bb me, was as 1fb6d87424 hard as steel, b04d0090ae and the presence 0b656baa05 of his erection c3bcd74aa5 behind my back da37320966 was unbelievably overwhelming. His large hand paused 54e8214e58 over my heart. The man’s upper body, c7abc7d17b flush against my back, aff0069c2e was utterly still, but f5276bbc96 my chest heaved rapidly. The pounding of my ec6b888b06 heart seemed loud enough 9149135ece for him to hear.403c8cf84ffbb42a

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“Don’t be too scared. It’s not difficult.”0e55a99165a5b2f9

His gentle whisper dc65cd2d09 only doubled my 08efaf719a tension. As if to soothe d02090b16a me, he made a f6cecfb507 soft shushing sound, like ce18d9ab7d air escaping, and comforted 395dbb9b2b me. I could feel my e79084c3fa cold skin gradually warming, bffa522c92 as if his body 42ba373944 heat was transferring to f32dad6f4a me. Holding me 48b928f51a from behind, e6601a23c7 he spoke.601e4eaccb684e68

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“Beomjun, the mirror.”40eca9cb62827702

Turning my head at a3af1b1074 his voice, I saw d0e47055e2 Chae Beomjun standing at 8e64e58822 the hallway entrance, unnoticed bb8e12c581 until now. I turned away 01d180ea70 before our eyes cb653a362c could meet, but ac84258385 the thought that fece4f05ed Chae Beomjun, that 2255b239c6 man, had seen c3e27023fa my body made ecc5d3438e my ears burn. Hoping he’d pretend not b0b156e367 to notice, I kept cdefbf4aa0 my eyes lowered and 87f85e2577 stayed still.6fe40727b0ee4e19

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After a short time, d4cb34bee5 when I opened my 4b0618744d eyes at the touch 0f4ff466ae of fingers tapping my 37dd57d690 cheek, a massive mirror 1341643b2c reflecting me and the f789222ff7 man had been placed 5dffd6f804 where I’d been sitting.895f0df1808349bc

The spotless surface 3b96cec3ab reflected my humiliating 85f0d56c07 state. The man, holding me 879d42bb9b in his arms like 4b5924e5f8 a doll, wore a 5c91670558 subtle smile. He moved e1b681f50b the fingers dc1cc683f8 still lingering 99e71a47cb on my 0315f577b1 cheek. A smooth motion, 5482e4397e so slick it f99997291a felt like I 7cc63f3d64 heard a slithering 7ac675c92b sound, like a 81bccdcf60 snake gliding.a71f5247df9fe01b

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“Your pretty 6bd689509a body… it’s de2b7fe4ef all messed 0ad1d21472 up.”be042a624cbe2681

His soft whisper carried 4766a64e19 a hint of regret. His long fingers traced 3a0e89e4e1 the bruises on my 7f5a32b27b sides and ribs. At the same time, 540018baa0 he buried his face d6d67fe5b9 deep in the nape 878d5374d0 of my neck. His inhaling a3bddede48 and exhaling f0f9fb6939 breaths felt c3f414af51 damp and 9a0f1735f6 sticky.448a45d681938887

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Shivers rippled c3c260722c across my a31faa0a0f skin like e53741ac6f waves, and 0d08ea09eb I turned 6313858621 my gaze f36a4ee385 away from 1fb6f7bff3 the mirror. “No,” he 22c5a83f48 chided sharply, 5bf0eaa3e1 grabbing my 6fb6747af4 chin to f0a72b8391 force me 6fb93125aa to face 478b35c4c0 forward again. Meeting the man’s 5f1b625d84 eyes in the ddc762561a mirror, I heard 065911b3dc a deeper, scolding ca02f802d9 voice.f70bf79f6d089e07

“You have to a428a1b869 look properly. Heesoo, if you 14c06b8e72 don’t listen, you’ll 3a66b18919 be punished.”001af7b6a3211d97

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“Yes…”a1a316c3f995cf60

He called 64623f155b my name 60ea64c00a with such 03c0e68c0d familiarity. The word “punished” stuck 290fef424f in my mind, and bdb5075102 I started to apologize, 4fe211b261 adding, “I’m sorry.” He b10dfaa0bd squinted one eye and 1903483024 smiled. His wet lips c04aff41da brushed my earlobe.4ca787c323a62156

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“Smart boy.”4a034b7f2ce086b8

The praise 17c90ee9a2 seemed to 9ed7cd518b ease the 5296e81208 tension gripping 398a7dae22 me slightly. I let out b915f58bb5 a thin breath ee565de4ca and leaned my a25fd0738a upper body more 7d4b812205 comfortably against him. It felt like the d508242547 only way to actively 4e083da5bb accept this situation.4069aa3c0dc2d776

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He’d told me to f72586886c masturbate, but his touch 75f6b37afa lingered on my body 3112f4dcaa for a long time. Purple skin, bluish bruises, d5611837cb reddened thighs—each time his d5247d26d7 thick fingertips grazed them, e9027a4fe1 my tongue curled inward. It was a strange d76e60bc92 feeling. The excitement born from f2800b9df0 fear and dread began 084f142165 to twist.66c2ffaa127ebce6

“Hnng…”c09c08c53480edb3

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His hand gripped my 5519a5212a penis. The sensation of dd2c5cd194 him kneading my be16724c3e balls and shaft a70c7658bc in one hand bbf0407757 made my insides 258c88c952 tingle. It was 43d83fb129 an unfamiliar dd3bb2ae09 sensation, an a57b133fd5 instinct overriding 598fd696b0 reason. I bit my tongue 9493379ccd to suppress any sounds 01920e640e and endured his touch.1402df6ea6cb359e

“Heesoo, why’s it so 449df52987 bare?”a21e2e6570b0a4ab

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After a while, he 28229c5e24 let go of my d1977b52e4 now-erect penis and asked. “Bare,” the 8cfc64a907 blunt word 99034bb771 choice made 50034f84ae my mouth 8287261960 heat up 1e9359ed37 again. Rolling my tongue, a3a07774e4 I managed to c6915fb0cf answer.828874f11908f47e

“I don’t 0f857c74f6 know, it e1b03c9c59 just… doesn’t 8659330740 grow hair…”08dc557e18dcc035

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He let a2b9da5e5b out a fc8e1e39ac low chuckle. “No beard either… 2ed6635133 such a baby,” d6fa6b4a39 he muttered, taking 03b37d894e my hand and 23a22c6ff4 guiding it to 52a6552d25 my penis. What had seemed a81bbb8650 endlessly small in 3111f25c5c his grip looked 441659e283 sizable in my 547ec762e2 own. The difference in hand 50d4a0d4b2 size was that stark.5daf6cb8edae7428

I took a deep 2ab99914b1 breath, holding my now-limp f77269099c penis. As if 6074115744 urging me, 5d8a636869 he lightly fad5937f2a shook my 2252525e5c wrist while 6a09c8fe0e gripping it. Though he 289875d774 let go 270f2e412c quickly, it 6884b52384 was a 4c5b94e058 silent threat b295984c4c not to 2a7509fa10 dawdle, so bbed023d22 I had 70e3385a4c to keep 50c2422fc3 moving my 1a4615b798 arm without ec321166f9 stopping.801f0281981ea1df

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My palm was damp. The fear and 0608f98bf6 dread I’d tried 9371934d9a to suppress were 349a9223c2 creeping back. His overly ac87c95475 kind demeanor, a17952ec87 treating me b80c1c4c1a like a 770e6371ce child, could e3b90c1247 turn at 5882cd6fc1 any moment. It felt be3bd24acd like masturbating c0ab1808fe on a 253850eccd sinking raft 389a27fc29 doomed to ea313f907e sink. There was c1a1dc4eff no way 8f48cecb6e I could 96b0a08ebf get it dbf3b314ad up.0e2e12ef0ac0603d

The man in dc55781187 the mirror stared 28e88310f6 piercingly at me. He watched 341458cf2a me, lips 357ce80ff8 pursed, struggling 60a58d788c to get c18f9e1eef my flaccid a10c130895 penis erect, e6082d24d4 as if 6897ea0c96 I were ff8c16ff46 a rare ed9e9ade3f spectacle. But even after a cc73fd8e69 long time, it showed 9ee823e438 no sign of hardening.5e8b2d277125e8c9

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Growing anxious, I gripped d8af67ff09 harder, but it was 79f7011743 no use. The thought 831cae6bd4 that he 2289bd51d2 might lose 60b2e00ec1 interest in 46c71a1081 my boring abdefc9195 performance and 82dc5e38bb hit or 22b95e8424 kill me c894fcc3ac only made 83a63aade2 me tremble 2feed9ced0 more.c1a4e000795e39ab

“Why are 12556b21de you shaking cf4cadb745 so much?”1d8e13a64a25b3db

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Fortunately, it seemed he 58ddd78715 had no immediate plans b1f9bcfaa4 to kill me. He murmured 4447c9a813 softly, then 75b588ee14 wrapped one 1e41c29fcd arm around 08de5a0ffb my waist, 03ea7b1466 pulling me 31f3b21eee closer. His hand be6827ed0c gently stroked 335e89f813 my side, 20fe6a693e as if a8d6a22f3a soothing a 2f9e973cc4 crying child. Absurdly, it worked. My trembling lips 4b7a6bf016 calmed. Emboldened by 031c8e54c0 his comforting, 42d295b311 I confessed 1be8d7145c honestly.f5f15ed04946df64

“I… can’t do it 766b1ba39e well…”1172d4e9d8d9adfd

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My voice crawled out. The shameful admission of 11b25e65b6 being twenty and unable db723c7325 to masturbate properly must’ve ce6187e910 been amusing, as he b4a781d540 raised the corner of e3b7be1236 his mouth in a 88ea399fed smile. But his cold, white-eyed 8512e5fc35 gaze scrutinized me. A chill ran down dcfd975c85 my spine. Had I messed up? Should I ba48e9e4ff have found e748d77dbf a way fa39826318 to ejaculate? I was 063627ba15 regretting speaking 702956223b when he edbc4358fc said,d007f453f2f3cb73

“You’re young, so a78ca86e2b it takes a d1747af9ee lot of work.”215b048fc0dfee5c

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With that, he wrapped fd13850ea3 both arms around me bc17ed2c29 like a snake. Gripping my penis f2b10cb71e as before, his d9d6b36151 other hand teased f009f6c8de my chest. The stimulation of a 0a4c82aed4 part I’d never considered c03d60fb29 sexually as a man c60288f692 was profoundly shocking. He pinched beadd1c2d2 my nipple adbd375294 with two fe2ea3ec08 fingers, crushing 81c3014602 it. A faint 1527342027 pain mixed aac4be05cc with clumsy a12aff63a4 excitement began 74603c445b to build.845de11e7d4f3fb5

“Hng, ugh.”6cf6d36ddc2aaabd

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Heat surged rapidly. The sensation spreading a0541cbccb from my areola 6fb6fa831e reached deep inside. He let ed34e9f4b3 out a 0cf5905f92 pleased chuckle, 7a0db48174 stroking my 124eba6606 penis. Curling his 1c749ba36e thumb and 9663873271 forefinger around 9978bf3657 the glans 5ff02b53d3 and shaking 966d1d7c98 it, my c481f5aafc penis began 2cd006b6fc to harden, 83c7c99ca7 as if 241ce8e76f the earlier 164304d27e humiliation was f0957c667d a lie. At the same ca7a614384 time, I felt c546dd28a4 his erection pressing 482c6c83e6 against my back, f8112a0d32 rising roughly.01dfef3881b610db

“Ah… hngh!”b96feef9de32d2a6

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The me in 4b260421dd the mirror moaned 13bb564fb2 unfamiliarly, and my 509d717910 pale body flushed 15256ddcf5 red in patches. My colorful, 4fa1c446f6 stained body ad2e6a84a6 now looked 194e3d8636 like a d1ad280a4b palette. Each time he pinched 396e2d18c6 my nipple, my hips 605986834d jerked, and my toes 85ea977482 curled. He tightly f0108aaebb held my aa51065d28 slumping body, c07c45ac75 sliding his 014b59d430 foot between a65aa50d5a my legs 7b72bc69e1 to spread 82a9f40565 them, exposing a1f9909519 my groin 1500025774 shamelessly.579050a120f4ef67

The mirror reflected f89b21a563 my pink penis 477d603488 and balls, my 300c23367a lower body displayed 59a1c25929 lewdly. His hand, pressing and 9d92cf31e0 shaking my penis, moved 9daf29163d with relentless precision, as 957f82cd99 if determined to see 9e3d5bb590 me lose myself in 721578bfd1 pleasure. A fierce wave d63ea7254e of ejaculation surged.58a6224aef16e0c1

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“Ugh, I, ah…! Wait, just… ahh!”10e00bacfb22c06d

Unsure if I could c9f771897d release in his hand, 8e828a0712 I tried to ask cf93320273 him to stop, but 060446c611 I couldn’t form words. I bit my lip a1795bfeaf to hold back, tears 51998c8dc6 welling from the pain 1355c20654 outweighing the pleasure.68faa89d8c8979d8

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My nipples, already swollen c34999ac75 from his rough caresses, 9320fc33bc weren’t enough for him. He gathered cdb06bc09a my flat 671293dc03 chest as aa9c9e00dd if squeezing 19f82e9e74 it, then 138bee8b74 slipped his 9a56b1bad3 tongue into 98b6440d8c my ear. Tilting his 8f69cba1ba head to 55dd17549c meet my acd6788d88 eyes in 080155d690 the mirror, 8b9e013e7f he swirled 5572f46c49 his tongue, 57b17a1ca7 producing wet a2c1ce807c noises at e0ef0cb224 my earlobe.fdabc9f4c0bc1fc2

The brimming pleasure 9bee38df5b was on the 8241ca01a3 verge of bursting. I grabbed his wrist, 6805f9062f rubbing my chest, and b37423acfc shook my head, but 716d08e917 he didn’t stop. Nibbling my earlobe 147b11b537 and kissing me, c74de60a5f he prodded the 258e676b30 slick urethra with ca40f9fae4 his fingertip.4afc9e2a2f609026

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In that dad53cb1da moment, ah.03d81ab6401e96fe

“Sorry… ugh, hng… I’m 4f78f97436 sorry…”6646b8f141f42c7e

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The milky fluid e119a6d827 that gushed out 0e08c6015f clung to his 66fcfd9dc0 fingers. The pungent smell 5d6ee918b9 stung my nose, 5b277096ac reigniting the heat d2e0641048 I thought couldn’t e5b0fb05a8 rise further. Lost in endless 934dc21adf shame, I didn’t 6c76d02404 notice my mind 6d30795a8e turning to ash. He casually e062da726f rubbed my 85bb697926 semen-smeared penis c29b10f599 with his a41a420067 stained hand. The smooth texture grew 016492a952 slicker. Realizing this wasn’t b98b26679c the end, a a41da555b6 bleak feeling hit 63867a4b1d me as he b9d62cbfc7 tapped under my 6fc5c98b8a eyes with his 872ce0531e other fingertip.0b60458a947c352a

“Heesoo, your 1be60b1cb2 cheeks turn 0afb1df1d1 red when 1e55a171d0 you’re aroused.”28aa67f58ed2d54c

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As he said, f52ccab942 my cheeks below 7f9837a5f5 my eyes were 8a9299d82c flushed like a 9953446f86 matryoshka doll. It was a face aa52ca469e even I hadn’t seen. His fingers, leaving my 8e6d1b9ffc cheek, now circled my 0d3cddca89 shoulder. “Here too,” 9a7d49b10b he whispered 936a7b3b77 low, his cc537cbd31 other hand, c07f8a9c81 toying with 4f2fcfca1c my penis, 6410d6058a gripping harder. “Here too, and…”758df30262c192f1

“Your hole must 433b76b3f3 be red too.”d124671d18e475a8

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His voice, 548cb976b6 tinged with 8ffcc401bc delight, seemed d6cb514f53 to lose 54961542bd its calm. The presence of his fc14986fb8 erection, pulsing behind me, df4cb9b2b7 came back vividly. His penis was 093fb07411 unbelievably massive. My breath caught. The fear that he’d afb381295d pierce me from below d6c93b00d2 made my blood run d15f2c3da7 cold. Sensing my 53eb6437c2 change, he 7157d5b578 quickly shushed 804cf8c38b me, whispering 9d75706a76 soothingly.0a862cadfed462d9

“It’s okay, not 32d5baad24 today, so don’t 6522cc6205 worry.”59d029f8d30de973

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And true to df5239a851 his word, he d33115aaf9 didn’t penetrate me 955dc51ac8 that day. He only gripped dc84e7d5a5 and shook my d8bd48358c penis, wringing out fd590b2659 semen until I 6905e2bbf3 wanted to beg 197b898897 him to stop, 29b3898495 and then wrung 7bd5bc4794 it out again.9a2ebbb21d392279

It was a921845f85 an exhausting 3dc0504a99 night. Even after my glans cb9d3529fa swelled red, as if d028a2df0c it might bleed, he 14a87cb90e didn’t let me go. The pain 71fec6d000 was so f8bea4626f intense I ce20650702 thought my fc58e4829e skin might d8169d9b41 peel, and 28a1e1068e only when 2b9f6f6ae3 I could 7d5c956b39 no longer 7e47a6febd get erect af7e3c8b6e from the 0d58dba28c agony did 6f0cd0a835 his perverse f001b52b9f acts cease.5b74c9da4a083ffb

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He led my f1b56b1355 staggering, weak-legged self 3aa044bbd2 to a room 4daa6b880d at the end a9fff4bc4a of the hallway. The luxurious guest 34c623ba5f room, with a dd20b16298 bathroom as large 113b2aace2 as my dorm 95eeec9d5b and five times 838a1be680 its size, felt ab91b885f8 extravagant. My worry that 714fc96370 he’d lock me c64b3fb80e in a bathroom 512eddf544 was overshadowed by 02c58d40cc such lavish treatment. I wanted to f14bf85293 ask if I 9115c06ba3 could really sleep bb516d5fe4 here, but he 5edf4c1b9d gently brushed my 347053caeb hair, said, “Good 77649f7a50 night,” and left.3f5d44b62bc9353b

I stood in 076d5d83f4 the bathroom with d566896f50 the water running f8506571b3 for an hour. I didn’t cry. I simply 1b8c566355 lacked the 76d01d5020 strength to f1faa0978c move. I was physically af21f3ef69 and mentally drained. After a while, 41a218ba94 I lay on 03451a98d0 the bed, but 6bc8352a50 sleep wouldn’t come. Intense memories from 47b3898010 the short time d847a020ef flooded me.63aee2447ebc3963

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And so, I had 6dffd21454 a nightmare.debeb7b90f40d110

In the 5e3a871133 dream, I e00a365269 was naked, e986efbbc1 cradled in 263041a053 the man’s 7210d2bee9 arms, surrendering cf3b721ea6 my body 10d0be3aed to him, 3b83586b33 while Kim a23798008d Jihoon, his 91c3c21b8c head crushed, 2b44d7462f beat me. Blood poured and 0fd5616519 brain matter oozed 66ad330331 with his every cf239a1852 move. It was a dream, 60d39d750a so I felt no dafd055d1a pain, but the foul 7aa08b9b02 stench of blood made bb8ef0d626 me nauseous. After trembling and ejaculating df8d1a898a under the man’s touch, e9ffc41941 he swung his hand 8595173af5 at me, as he fe58742d4b had at Kim Jihoon. “Heesoo,” he 0b82799591 called gently, a614514c4c and my 60eb8b5108 head shattered, b9c553c61e waking me.0f46c1fe8ccd69f8

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“…Ah.”d64a6096fc462915

Sunlight stabbed my eyes. Sitting up, 997150106e the blanket 1d6d9942f8 covering me a835d42ba5 to my 57e81e46e1 neck slid 32cbddb311 down softly. Awakening, I was 59c96ca466 momentarily speechless at 0d43416714 the room’s view, 8be7a8766b which I hadn’t e29aa055e5 noticed at night.22345699a59e5aa6

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One wall was entirely 198db90fde glass. The city below the 2d48dd4f37 large window was blanketed afab9903fd in white. It had 09c94b29d3 snowed overnight. Seeing it, something welled 24eefed7ab up inside, but I 5dccdf609f bit my lip and 0acd73135c held back tears. It was just another 9d5cb09da3 birthday with nothing to b0f3f2ebf3 expect. I didn’t 424dce2829 want to 5617fc93ab cry over cb29d74993 something so 58f26a3d90 trivial.63cad2c624542b64

I got out of d12037bca9 bed, went to the 43d0b69458 bathroom, and showered. Exhaustion from sleeplessness lingered, aa95e5a8be but my face, protected 74053bfccb by the helmet, was 2700ae4bc5 unscathed. My body, 7a109ee696 however, was 742b9be6cd worse than 721a3a9544 yesterday. The heat e996b4f842 had faded, c6060c8f20 leaving pale adc8f82c74 skin covered 01567e3ec5 in dark, 57278a0b32 bluish bruises. Turning, I d5f7541566 saw my 099bdc3735 back was 6a75a395f7 a mess a886759443 too. It’d take at 004027714f least a week 6b5e5d4211 to heal.d62260a70cec4c37

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Drying off and 80a7f7ff67 stepping out, I ddb502914d realized I had c1f316b218 no clothes to 0c04719093 change into. What should I do? Wear what I 327b3ffd23 had on? Or a robe? Was I even 40556c917c allowed to leave c9c2df9523 the room?327237fd1c9e7e55

While pondering and scanning e99d52e9a5 the room, I noticed eedb90a539 clothes on the nightstand. I didn’t know if 987472840d they were left while 4c9756cf48 I showered or before a8b032d653 I woke, but they 31bc36d750 seemed meant for me. The cream-colored ac0a6d023e round-neck tee c6e19ec7d4 and pants 1f167fd198 fit perfectly.ccb89976882cb37f

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After dressing, 28611051da I deliberated 7e4a039144 for a be985b1983 long time.2f784833021858cc

Should I stay bccc80d1e9 in the room? Was it 9efd4362ec okay to cf55bd1caa go out? I was hungry—would they 9a0f426c56 feed me? Was that too 131d7699ab much to hope 8bffd165b6 for? Should I prepare 70880ac58b to go hungry? Then a 325fb90741 thought struck f407164a84 me. It might 55a8a14c76 be a b279dadbb0 leap, but 3a0b453833 given the e407336ce6 man’s behavior 5177868852 yesterday, he 3d67c7f276 didn’t seem d22999e307 likely to 9177d35c3d suddenly kill 36fdc66ab6 me.3a27bf6c06464b2e

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His words 721ed492f4 implied as 9967cb9c37 much. If he 4e3d3970dd planned to 374e3b3d08 rape and 09abffbc1a kill me, 68ec447ea4 he wouldn’t d6e2972593 have said, 4835ddec31 “Shall we 5fe1ba821e start with 50eb4af677 masturbation?” But 33ceb3ccdb recalling Kim 7036b1ba82 Jihoon’s state 6688d72dc0 brought inevitable 5dde2f781e fear. Holding my forehead, 0554d22ce4 I cautiously opened 70a2fb7d7f the door.6edcd458ced265b7

Unlike my dorm’s 0659aa6241 creaking hinges, it f5b4568543 opened smoothly. I peeked through the 2ee10e2e67 gap. No signs 002837e893 of life. Gathering courage, I took d1ac842ed4 a few more steps. Two more 3c62a589ec doors lined 55d1c1c787 the path 2dc23fc4b3 to the cdf043c583 living room. Holding my 3db488758d breath and 2d898865c4 straining my 984a1dcf6d ears, I 91d2b07177 heard nothing. My heart pounded. Was he gone? I thought I c452803be3 should escape if 01a3112ec9 I got the e0d195d4dc chance.72dbf16e07fcceed

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“Hello…?”02c45e8ca902f7c2

I called softly, but cccaa736cd no reply came. The living room, with efb8f2352d the mirror removed, was 7ff63cf5fd empty, and all I 46b417905d heard was my instinct 0e732d48fe screaming to flee this 20e61ff0b9 house. Just in case, I 8a0adba8e8 approached the door the 9f0dac6eb2 man had disappeared behind 63102017f1 and turned the knob. It didn’t budge. I knocked, but no 6e2f763406 answer.7edd210aac4a613f

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My palms 4ed617a07c grew sweaty. Swallowing dryly, I 45b2802906 headed to the 86625087b6 entrance. The unguarded front door 3ae1929c14 came into view. I quickly looked for 117e0d4b68 my shoes, but they 163e118e7e were either hidden or e6e1bc85c0 discarded, so I stepped dd3505c30b onto the tiles barefoot. A chill db05696f12 from the 4d35234ad2 cold surface 4c48ec87fa crept up, 88c5875107 but it 11ed0b3d7d didn’t matter. January 2nd, the cdd4a8c0eb outside cold would 056279a153 persist, but if 3d73421ee7 I could escape, d3d834c80d the cold was c89c3954c4 irrelevant.a9185b70cb106adc

I gripped the doorknob.1e078400ff95bcb5

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Turned it.c4d6d5c4854e2744

It opened.c35708d4e435065f

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Thud,b70c7d00a5bad7dc

“….”3f0deea5e0b44caf

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Someone stood blocking 6cabc5c676 the door. My racing fcc43d856e heart crashed f0ddd4c4e5 to the dd64f87279 floor. My insides felt like 37b3391546 they were spilling out 245e145689 as I looked up. A menacing man, who 9808dbbd29 looked capable of killing 19be10fc73 with his glare, stared 4057af543f down at me.ac7661b4ebfeb382

“Go back inside.”84264a3a3d176fd7

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I was trapped.a67ee216417771c5

“Yes…”c52eac610a0114b4

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I bowed and b4b480a659 closed the door.6fd5b86bbf47cafb

Returning to the room, 059765eb07 I curled up in 6b9180ed50 the blankets. I was thoroughly bd4cc54564 trapped. The hope that 335ef09e26 had briefly swelled ddea932d70 shattered with a 41205183a0 dying scream. Sighing, I aaff3ae774 organized my 35086da224 thoughts. It was expected. Having braced for a63df642e6 death, there was 0bfff8abbe no reason to 50c4ae5736 despair over mere 9a265c0b30 confinement. I was lucky not 81ab4730b5 to have ended up a0cf25f159 like Kim Jihoon yesterday. Then a 6f81f5c0ae suspicion arose.ab0afa8537ce7440

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Was Kim f36ebd9107 Jihoon really 332aaae144 dead?2a29cecae3f5872b

He’d hit c4cae5af6d his head 1a835ad048 on the a26fccf326 wall’s edge, 5cf5397c3a bleeding as 35329614ee he fell. The last bb401c2a15 I saw, 802070df0a he was 03b2b5a89d convulsing, eyes 2f13e5d736 rolled back. Was that a sign 45c506a8ee of death or life? After the man took f604f30037 me inside and went 17ef6fcc77 back out, was the 9c1ad7ab55 watermelon-crushing sound really Kim d86a727dfa Jihoon’s head breaking? Was the thud f74eeb59e1 and rolling noise 1348c03ba4 from a fire 8a2f753a3d extinguisher?35526eff1a4292d2

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Did that b9c6d3524d man really f8b24ceb4c kill Kim e032f49ac4 Jihoon?795524580efeb3bd

“Don’t be b481fe105b too scared.”43565428b82b9d75

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“Heesoo.”e8bc3bf49382928a

“Why are 3b7f2e70ba you shaking da8dbb4197 so much?”d684c36345ded8b3

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“Good night.”ec6820285f7506ce

The man’s voice, 0235afdc91 vividly recalled, was 342aec8175 infinitely gentle. If recorded 578b704628 and played 044aa79133 for someone, a649509d5b they’d ask 2185aec822 if he 4e45a57035 was speaking 54219c08e9 to a 38986c749b lover—so tender d8f8bc9e39 it softened b6734adc54 the heart. His smiling face 33dc165b83 didn’t fit the 720cdb5e38 label of a cd8cea03f7 murderer.326a2ec7b6430581

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“Damn it.”663527181c17db6a

…Not a murderer? That didn’t erase fc383da251 what happened yesterday, 6d961b824b so why was e614092cdb I even thinking 731b7abf3f this? I felt cd2b875576 so pathetic 6404b8d6cd that I ffe622d4c8 laughed. Pulling down the 34936d8e0f blanket I’d covered 866634021c myself with, I ac8edd8a90 cooled my sweaty 66378d36b1 forehead and thought.c9246143cb796cd6

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How much more a5fe11e69a of this was 9b1c5cad89 left?f93771fe7f34a8c1

At eighteen, the 1303b985f0 onslaught of misfortune 2e35770b6c began with my e2f357cfe7 father’s company bankruptcy f672439a8f and showed no 18e55dbdcd signs of ending. A month after 68cbe06aa7 the collapse, my f6f055175d father fled overseas, 20e24238f2 leaving me and ed47c03bd0 my mother. My mistake then was 0fd291a83c not acting immediately despite 495cd76078 knowing the crisis. I should’ve 2cb70f1caf secured my c58b441a0e survival, but 4af6051c32 foolishly, I 80667b6650 did nothing.4c823294decbddc5

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A month 2781d55de0 after my fb9d303c1b father left, 88c78a3780 my mother, 6ad7c1a6ce swayed by 7317914d4b the host 902a26065b she treated 684290f4c5 like a 82699a5915 lover, withdrew c9ed72f7e8 the savings 0d9c2593dd in my d400937a02 name and 5aa7b7953e vanished with a104fa555d the money. My mistake 8753c67cfa was believing ea8dd1c671 a mother a10b9abbdb who never 8c317b2092 cared for e260047a5e me would 142eb6946b protect me. The price of 11dda0b94e trusting blood was 49844b53fe an empty account a9b9f6e69e and an outrageous 10be281ace high-interest loan contract.6cdeff097e55c3c6

It’s the 7c2167f32e kind of d420b0f5fb story that 09873b4e4c would enrage 53326bb09e people if 8fc6f014c0 it hit c239b904a6 the news, e60ddf4584 condemning such a180ebfc42 despicable humans. But digging d8810a3515 deeper, their 47b2688889 escape had fdfd898594 valid reasons. My parents were a 9ac5b3328a show-window couple, changing lovers b9735e98cd frequently. I was likely the 24ac7eccc8 son of one of 6d2b11a029 the hosts my mother 02b7ad3bc6 frequented in her youth.90e03bd566ace0ae

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My father afaf999fb6 was type 7d2323ad6f O, but 49a979c836 I’m AB, 278cc9fb37 and he cd0953aa2d openly disliked c1f3fa62dd me. Why he didn’t 9d5c2762d1 divorce my mother d5163ad882 or why he 9688aa13ee put me on b6506b4ae3 his registry is 97856f8a86 now unknowable, but a7790007df that’s how it 6dfe7925b1 was.fa3326cc932a9172

If I 3ef164b3bf were him, 9c6deb4d89 I’d have a0a46d1232 fled too. To avoid 3a6852ef7f prison, he 9a6a94e56b had to dcfb6bf80a leave Korea, 07aa9072c9 and taking d83fdd9683 a child 9dd5cc43c9 with no 547072a31f blood relation db639a0a28 was something 785647a134 only a 78873efa6f sanctimonious fool 60a8e6570c would do. My father wasn’t that 5bc3fed3f2 kind of fool.9b8ec8398d52b352

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So why 4c4ce3b95a did my 61978de636 mother, who b20517d602 shared my 4cc10c2d61 blood, leave f3a9089139 me? That question was easier 7eac21d1ce to answer than my 573dc15b28 father’s case.8a2e2d35460dc1cd

She was a2f7586eb6 obsessed with db3cd7deed men. Whether my af8633f9ae father or 5d068b35a8 I were ca872a9e3b there or 5ebadd736b not, she 920991bad2 brought her 52650bf0b0 lovers home, c5e8a10973 and I 76cf5cbaa5 grew disillusioned 7d053df676 hearing the bac233171f animalistic moans 2d81d2afdc of men bf44482a42 and women f82d8991d1 through thick d9cc303d74 doors and 810b49d1bb walls.523d0d95ab8d68d7

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Why did I think 6f5adafd18 that woman would act b9cb382220 as my guardian? I couldn’t 5c03395d26 bear how 3538ec153c pathetic I ed1a43d619 was for 733e97f1b2 expecting anything b1f83b899e from such 30b52ea5a2 a parent.63c513a90a2f4726

Turning to 390b189a34 lie down, a87beb3f37 I gazed 25f18461db out the 25829dfa94 snowy window 05cf37df1c and thought.38946c831d4e5bee

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It was a0f4165751 time to a3ba61129c find the b02510d0be reason these a20c9044ce shitty things 6e007de967 kept happening 1735a44090 to me. There had to be 6851b87bb7 a mistake I made ade443fbb2 somewhere. If I didn’t b0bb1dd87c figure it out, 96e8363171 I might repeat 81fcd12ae2 the same error 89468ce05e and end up c2db1ecbd1 in a similar 7402103e31 situation. To prevent that misfortune, 9c37e216d3 I mulled over yesterday, c29594801a chewing it over repeatedly.50bb6293f2124e9d

When I finally 5426b40e22 found a plausible 454877a8f0 reason, darkness had 27936f0f1d settled outside. Yes, the problem 36e5384e2d was climbing to 6de49b8492 the forty-third floor 43d0610e14 despite knowing Kim 69a1541a51 Jihoon was persistent.67170e0ba7bfd738

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I should’ve considered b277c4e419 that innocent people fe5b209b75 could get hurt. If I’d d4d3fc2f60 settled things f7bea1bd16 with Kim d3ab39154b Jihoon on 0e583e927e the fortieth 64d231a804 floor, the 6e025698f8 forty-third-floor man 86128af599 wouldn’t have cd45cc8e70 done that 57637e8adc to him. Then there’d have 33a1b6dd9d been no need 63330589e9 to lock me, 854359a80e a witness, in e60e9ffa58 his house. Even if I’d been cefa92250b beaten more, I, alone 6ab3b5da49 on the forty-third floor, b1b0d2098e would’ve delivered the cigarettes, 8053af5746 gotten paid, and returned 56708c1532 to the office.71a92f56dc9bbeb4

I overlooked Kim cb7c290430 Jihoon’s obsession with 9103ba8e8f me. That was why 14c8bde9f9 this misfortune befell 0eb9a64811 me. It was all 9e88e667f6 my fault. Acknowledging this, I vowed 9afee670d0 to deal with clingy 8b438daef2 bastards on the spot 955117e3be next time.8e09fb8968cc041e

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I vowed…588b7436e1179cd2

Damn it. Suddenly, I felt so 482ba7c337 wronged that tears welled 6bec3bc16f up.eed3de96dbda6d4b

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No matter how you 60fabf8527 sliced it, it was c2c1863b9f all nonsense. Kim Jihoon hating me 8128001e81 wasn’t my fault. I’d never done anything d910b3a7d5 to provoke such intense d7447f6201 loathing. Being beaten, 2f77541f7f him chasing 8df668b99a me to 7d9eba0665 the forty-third 0febcad025 floor, and 8b68cd8b5f what happened 040df7ba51 to him 9abacba884 at the eb005c1f68 hands of 7c397f22b1 that man—none 3eca574499 of it 67538884fc was my 507eea377c fault.7e69dc09e1981ed0

Yet, I was the 64ff85d519 one locked in this 939d0b46e6 house, punished.6c0948896de6be3d

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Why do these things a2700ee062 keep happening to me? Why must I d6694238e3 be punished without f266dae09f having done anything 7cb224b1b5 wrong? Why am e2c7d8d4e0 I the 41b0b7a1dd only one 9d236960b3 forced to 5565266936 kneel under 482f2b54bd endless misfortune? Asking unanswerable questions only 6abc3b9220 tormented me.74f0fda771745460

So I blamed everything 12f1e9b383 on myself. A misfortune with a a102c75671 reason wore a person 820ac78b40 down less than one 78606771c2 without.a2f481f9dca4e045

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But today, f6ca17a8ac that was d5343f1825 incredibly hard. There was no promise 82d42a727e of when this miserable, 3e66ac5db8 pathetic situation would end. Was I such a 5a51065860 worthless being that I ca672c04db had to live and 82bee92415 die like this forever?54e95f8df411993e

If this was f819cd95f1 my fate, why 84d2872d15 was I even a39bacf289 born?297cc033d2f6ad36

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With pessimistic thoughts, 401ff90f12 the tears that 5365399ff3 had been rising 4e9e260998 began to surge d0b19718e3 like waves. The harder 759355ea73 I tried 0f0e1358c1 to hold 5d33793d69 them back, 4dec60ed12 the greater cb7f4c0536 the sorrow 7cc2cf758c that leaked eb55fae0c8 out.7135002f3d0107be

Realizing no 0ceb3b6013 one was f5484e1d80 in the 3c079945d0 house, I c601a6a8b1 let myself 57a378430c cry aloud. Even as 45dfa7a9a2 a child, 4c995894b2 when my 3f7ef3bc6f parents abandoned 3c0e815dc2 me, when a9ed2a1b95 I realized 8e561a906d I was 4463257094 practically a fa7c41b8e5 slave to 53e4259157 my boss e744027407 due to f5e1e8dcea a shady d8d63c16f6 contract, or 2632307a4d when I fa3d1382eb was beaten c9c3cca391 by the 350c8773ef boss for 6dfe01a34e no reason 736077096a and lay eac62b07d6 sick for 00ebd4e28f a week, 43d5c0fe18 I hadn’t 7a5cb9517f cried this 97e33b2349 bitterly. But once the tears 2811f997d8 broke free, they poured f51a1466e8 out more mournfully, as 13d8554bb4 if demanding compensation for 7d386ee518 all my past endurance.a1e11befd7bfc905

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“Heesoo, how 0c904cc46e can you 7e89d091bc be so 8c437fc7f8 noisy at 60f9874453 night?”ce10898fcea20371

The voice that c7eb2ef414 suddenly cut through 06662c734e stopped my crying. Swallowing my 5ef9c505cb sobs, I 616ca6e5c1 turned to e12e13754e see a fe41c4a855 figure at 5791927fb1 the doorway c0efc0cf36 through blurry bf7527c821 vision. The man approached silently. Dressed in black like 5fe22bb0bb a grim reaper, his 704d7d18b2 mere presence dried my 7b5938d1ac tears.81587e4d8cd02a68

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I had 9cb477f30d a strong bef822d920 intuition that 9bb3dfde2f he wouldn’t c8d4b92858 like seeing 678ed19c50 someone cry fc2008663d in front 6000610fb5 of him. Biting my lip until b7b9a79430 it bled, I looked a0b97596b7 up at the approaching efbe1b842d man. Blinking, the b24117cf00 tears pooled 62f29a832b in my be9017f375 eyes drained adc3f70747 instantly. Seeing his clear face, 37b23bb7e7 I clenched my fists 4b6f4d963b tightly. My nails dug into d85a8ce922 my flesh.6aecc8ebce927d0c

His expressionless face was 104248d7de chilling. His unsmiling demeanor recalled b8eab44177 the blood-soaked events of 5c70c090ce yesterday.476d3969f8335066

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Holding my breath 00a4eec77c and staring, he ec060e4b8b knelt down and 1640d6eb90 reached out to 6a8208575f me. I thought he’d 0072eef821 hit me, but c96162c8ca his touch, wiping 5ba7eeca3d my wet cheek, 53cf7bc529 was surprisingly gentle. He comforted me warmly, 7ea9b9e72d as if my sorrow a5a0a2c9ae had nothing to do b021c5ec31 with him.fed98ab888d914a0

His eyes, 23c679e906 scanning my 5e4c37bbad face, softened. With an 6ba61653df affectionate smile 1605e9ff7c that put b1229bcaf3 me at 1d7e9b8031 ease, he 0324e18e7c whispered,4860a9f04778b4f8

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“Babies shouldn’t cry.”d0ff99c79f679d92

The hand c4abee7ab5 caressing my cd0901c86e cheek slid 4d919a3240 to my 2fcbee7745 chin. Wiping away the dangling cb8f10218c tears, he tilted his cb0b7401e4 head. He smelled 47bb518d06 of wet 27fd8f9e3d winter. Before our lips touched, 0e28a91a9e his final words struck 93102c342a my mind.5c3bcf2603fe60d9

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“You’re so ef69334a6d pretty… I d45f07278d want to ac9a7b1ac0 preserve you 0df7fbf9be as is.”e207c7677ba4d335

A tongue 6f7deb7969 slipped through c1d50e01dd my shocked, 4f0ae54ad0 parted lips. Sharp like aa36c8f370 a snake’s 9c0fa32e5d fang, it 89b8e8abfb swept through 31e06de1ac my mouth. And suddenly, I couldn’t 2131eb7cc8 breathe.f19c635e665a404c

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He was choking 4387a07eb2 me.7d04eefb5de71b0a

Instinctively, I 7ee22043a3 opened my 43d5fe549d mouth to 054fb4f071 breathe, but 907cf44155 all that 6bd77d0d65 entered was 639d6e3d0d his wicked 0479021470 tongue stealing ec1607d1dc my saliva. Too weak to push fb8b6ec48d him away, my arms 7732060eb3 lacked strength. Thud, my 8f34b9af33 clenched fist 6dad1704a4 fell limply. My vision d86e518342 darkened, and aff0f564c1 in my d31426f971 fading consciousness, 6890ad4d74 I heard 5bba737ff2 his whisper.c12382b2d41e93c1

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“Sweet dreams, Heesoo.”425c120a8a9e3a60

There was 75edb7c397 only one 8a9a2a4c79 thing to 4ef2cf95c7 say in 32462e7574 return.6bde04a2cee4f14c

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Crazy bastard.89731cde9d1b3caf