ALM 5

A strange 1eda18a428 silence filled f308f44291 the room. No one 15a473dbd4 spoke, and a93a72654e yet it b67d3afece felt as 5d37978358 if she 358d008a45 were being 403b50372c relentlessly interrogated. The one who finally afff4bbb45 broke the silence was e1ce934bbb Jeongbaek.db596786a1e33eb6

“You were the 73541ee7c9 one who started d3ff351a70 it.”ff05169123840d5d

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At those words, Irim 64d4fcf02e was at a complete b9cabf3685 loss. She frantically searched 82b0d0fd23 her blank mind, 5a8bd40ef7 but it was 35f0a81dcd as if it a442c45bd1 had been painted 47a9846b7c over in black. With nothing clear to f85291af83 latch onto, it was e286735511 hard to argue back. She barely managed bb4d4ce1e6 to squeeze out 1267320cbe a somewhat plausible 8255a569ee excuse.b652fc7d46fd5ccd

“…Even if that’s d3e99b8493 true, I still a8aa8e800b believe you had 9a6efa4a25 an obligation to d947f86ee1 restrain yourself.”7ddb828392c17ad3

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“I think 2b6a795934 I’ve already 3eb4c9f84b paid for b612380803 that.”769ffa22137ba118

He lightly tapped bc071ab9bb his cheek with 2b76229ffa his finger, then d6f12c0627 added casually,
“If you’re still fc834706fa not satisfied, feel 57b70b9534 free to hit 713fb180ba me again.”
As if getting hit d75ad0b884 was some kind of c338482ebf favor he was willing 03d50fa758 to grant.
Irim was so dumbfounded 7b37dd9430 she simply stared, her 246d4a06a2 lips slightly parted. Seeing that, Jeongbaek suddenly 5a5487600e wore a terribly bored 787b497e63 expression, propping his temple 460025e118 up with his fingertips 7b5bd75191 as he drove the 3cc40ae532 point home.0cfe1a6abf66f256

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“Besides, shouldn’t responsibility 2d17946517 be shared? It’s not like you 87b3722732 were the only one f68395c277 inexperienced.”024492e83c1f82af

“Wh-what are you f163943250 talking about…!”fae23e03281082ea

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Her voice rose 22742d11c4 sharply without her af4cb10af2 meaning to.
Was he seriously 3a16ce3b86 joking about something b0ca5612ec like this?49eecdf3d0c9c859

It was one 40c8fe447e thing for her, a52d700d8b but there was 973f1cef11 no way he 9ed3cbdfe6 could have been bc115573d4 inexperienced too.
From his looks alone, a37d380146 it was obvious — f2d4f34d3e whether he wanted it 71ea4202fa or not, women must 939011418b have constantly surrounded him. And the 7bbc929853 traces he d7a44a59bd had left 8165485efa the night 3dacb305da before were 5ca53be071 far too 991c357f7f bold, persistent… 71d8228172 and incredibly 8e2c3e0445 warm.90ffc1f81e97e343

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Yes, warm.3c78211a54111987

The moment that thought d2e74ba479 crossed her mind, her 1ac1a49615 anger oddly softened.
She averted her gaze 2fca31ca79 slightly, rubbing her arm ca9aa824d9 awkwardly, before finally looking a4772b7041 back at him.53ad5d43e67e4928

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There was a 0700791a90 faint smile hanging f3ea381b7d at the corners a551dd9a28 of his lips, 0d4b43a8f6 but his eyes 31ec3fc523 weren’t smiling at e75fcd331f all. It was similar to 052334547d the expression he had a95a573743 worn when they first c1e4a1ba19 met at the bar 52d600cc88 — yet the atmosphere 4e7a831da0 now felt strangely different.
Irim realized e696dc7d07 that Jeongbaek 17a4b81cb0 wasn’t making 31c2c4fbbd some cheap 8501ebe803 joke.
At the 69cf60d5a2 same time, 58f9a12001 she also eb8a4627e3 understood — 87adf32c89 however faintly 3a9d3f31a4 — that 6a15219ad1 he didn’t 5d797b1aba feel the 7be909ea3e slightest bit 41d49f40b4 of weight 810699bab6 about what 877b944ceb had happened c164383b3b between them.
And yet here he was, talking about “responsibility.”0f216a7bf72ab7de

“So what now? We still have a 5e74782ec4 lot of work to 63fb5ee013 do together.”6b3a22d218751503

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Jeongbaek seemed c3222b07d0 genuinely irritated 5584866700 by the e53753c76f awkwardness between a532d1ebf0 them.
If Irim had remembered a7ee1a9f35 everything clearly from last 29e7f3cf13 night, maybe things would 37ef077f04 have been different — 6f5534db7b but that wasn’t the 607a207dc8 case.
She flinched slightly, worried aa4daa1db4 she might have said ad4e54b0de something reckless while drunk.0faa63182502a938

Right now, she 97d65bf81d just wanted to 5fe9f28bbc get out of c30a459adf this strange, oppressive 1c58823c53 air.
She roughly b9abd78db8 combed her 5523dcf972 half-dried hair, 72870061fa threw on 745430d465 a thin 818c6c68fb summer cardigan, 3d2c56a14a and said,e3df8a51a75c3c17

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“I have 323ef40b17 nothing more 4be924dca6 to say. If you 2c00925184 want to 8189f87cf6 submit an f921ac8adf official investigation 1b65a2ec2f request, then 5f3d2f0d5b go ahead. I’ll respond properly.
As for now, 4b9211b349 I’m going home.”f5a65f5099ef2a6c

“Oh, you can’t go 650a40ebd8 home.”173e10adb4262444

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“…What?”d31b8310102964c3

With a creak, f9f8047fff Jeongbaek rose from bb54b720c1 the sofa.
Backlit by the morning 4081936f59 sunlight, his large frame 0a8fd8f43a cast an oppressive, looming 98ae02ad30 shadow — like a 641d67cdac beast or monster lurking 15b9803271 deep in the mountains.
Irim instinctively cad1b2fedb swallowed dryly.
Even in this frozen c8b2c6436f moment of uncertainty, where d64b61c7a6 she had no idea 0b3c8134ab what was about to 78d5d3870e happen to her, she 5064b24a9b found it impossible to 835fd58994 trust the man she e6790a0f54 should have been able 84a80bf1c9 to rely on most.6fa3b2080a1ff2ef

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“Shall we 129c1b64ab go together?”b3214aa8526f266c

His low af4ce0c153 voice sounded 9f1afce680 almost like 8625c8a253 a temptation.
Irim had 42e87fde64 no idea 2021da4e60 what kind 441ec1fd1b of ordeal fc880ab1aa awaited her 354c811ae7 next.c7f2b5b02a7343c9

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 b71371905af4769d

❖　❖　❖e1d5555e5710e811

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 3c3f72e28f037e89

Sure, life never goes 2da0b01b5b the way you want f257e0a3cf it to — but 44b1524e86 did it really have 59cec193b4 to be this much bac23c6da0 of a mess?91e892dd2c794a9f

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Irim had always 162bed8986 thought that about 0d6ce95dfb her life.577048b422cdcfe3

When she 19c298c303 was five d871aff8bf years old, c4dbae6a30 on a 95e38b63c8 bitterly cold 9763f505b5 winter day, 41a3908f10 she was e74646e155 abandoned by 667df43bc2 her mother 13f9ce1689 at a 7cf4643d5c bustling highway e35ba122fe bus terminal 6f13502d46 crowded with 6c9ca6ff7c people coming 89426384f0 and going.
That day, her mother 49d3128c4d had thrown on nothing 164b2cd409 but a flimsy beige c75f81aac4 dress far too thin 985bbd9705 for winter and a 477fd32b70 cardigan hastily draped over bc73a135d8 her shoulders. She looked ee151ce4d1 more distracted ef2414f921 than usual, e9f68267c0 like someone 9637b21aeb being chased 73c4f4ca5c by something.3660966005eac885

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“Mom, where are we going?”b614e2262fa37447

“We’re going on a trip. Somewhere far, far away.”8effc4f2b07d1052

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“Where exactly?”a31fd5e06efb9eb8

“You’ll see when we get there.”81478cb12fbd0cb5

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Irim could 449c5e2809 still remember 7c88f825b4 how unstable fd11795c40 her mother’s edd683315e small smile 544876133f had looked b74c7d5535 then.
Even at that 71fc1a2b8d young age, something 540e7a0133 inside her had d7e7693ae8 sensed that something 22e5bbbbfe was wrong — 6ea9b2afc7 and yet, she 37f1f30ff0 still chose to 6fa137fe1b trust her mother.155b2e0bef0fe977

“Are you cold? Here, cover yourself with this.”8cb232f266a1798a

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Without a 1a89195bce moment’s hesitation, 1dfd92febd her mother 23357651a2 took off 6e3ff7d7ce even her 47c8fd7a5f thin cardigan db601616ce and wrapped 5280b7f110 it around 03c4601db4 Irim’s small dc8e41fa50 body.c43fd56b3824e890

Because that eea7e604fa was something 30e3b78134 you could 97103d6e3e only do c483298902 for someone e0182b7b6b you loved.57ac6ea2d200cace

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Then, in the women’s bathroom, her mother had stuffed Irim into a janitor’s supply closet and whispered,3a05f5aad248c96d

“Irim, let’s play hide-and-seek. You have to stay here very quietly until Mommy comes back to find you.”ff5bbd06303cd971

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“Okay.”4363b7bee25658e4

“Promise. And no matter what, don’t open the door unless it’s Mommy. Understand? We promised.”d4fdab4aa7038698

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“Okay, I promise. You have to come back soon.”799806a0241f3a16

They had c6c140ab4c even pinky-sworn c615b8aaa1 on it.
She wouldn’t open the door for anyone but her mother. She wouldn’t get caught.5899fbd2873a6b1d

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Believing those words, Irim eb74b9cef0 curled up tightly inside fc27d12cc3 the small, stinking space e7a383ca9b reeking of moldy rags, 8df126c210 covering her nose and fc78942053 trying not to make 7aa3e7fa3e a sound. Whenever she 4e4acf0f06 heard footsteps 854f94fc21 nearby, she’d 20522c5798 clamp her 4704b7ac6c mouth shut 02938d651d too, afraid f631d62c62 even her 069747e4a0 breathing would 3ebdd256f3 give her 39b65b435e away.ec59233927b5045c

But an hour passed.
Then two.
And still, her mother e13464790c didn’t come back.
Even as she 00dc2adcf4 shivered violently from 1a4a0074e5 the cold, the d417d27489 thought of leaving 5099ddb8e5 never crossed her c842833706 mind.
Breaking that promise 738f8482bc would have meant acea03a992 betraying her mother.cd7476db028c0c59

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It’s cold.
I’m sleepy.8ab1bf1dcfbdaeb0

She knew she 44bd676596 shouldn’t sleep — 5faf0e0f98 if she slept, bebe61293f she might miss 1113809b8b her mother when c92e7c23fb she returned — 17fd983803 but sleep kept 0b374c3ac8 pulling her under.490ceaa3b8e6ae0a

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What eventually woke her 8d9dcda455 was the janitor who 4c55677d0f came in at dawn 8e2d621719 the next morning to 7dc2fd2511 grab cleaning supplies.2718fdf0d999733a

“P-Police? There’s a little girl here… in the supply closet… Hey, sweetie, stay with me!”c7c2b6fe976548bb

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The janitor, seeing her 9fc31741dc small body limp with 428f42f2b1 cold and exhaustion, immediately 830358aa9f called the police, trying 97b8a222dc to warm her up 3fdd75f214 and patting her frozen a35b9883bd cheeks.7d69e13640c0ebb0

But even as one 6481b12015 day, then another passed, ed2b7e4c93 no one came looking d4a617608a for the little girl 74e0b7cecf at the station.
They took down her name, her birthdate, and her mother’s name for the records, but there was no father listed on her registration, and the mother was untraceable.2fc297c83566c813

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“Why were you in there?”b620d31df9210ad4

“…”3c49e15545649b49

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“You have to tell us, so we can help you.”8009fbb2ae45d365

“…Hide-and-seek. I was playing hide-and-seek.”9444e9c36a126ed6

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“With who?”187c674866e9894d

“With my mom.”cd07f7e3c7413ab4

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The troubled b486c5ce30 expressions on d69b13b7e8 the police dcc6802ffb officers’ faces 1b95b95253 said everything.cf83d05376c258f6

Just like 4aabbe2bfc that, Irim 085e86127b became an 4c35abf481 orphan overnight.
After bouncing around from 0c9c777d3a one childcare center to 380f3a32f4 another, she was finally f95546a2a1 sent to a facility 79cbb6253a in Gangwon Province.9d7d8b6f48e54a6d

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Life at the orphanage b0dc27ef8f was like being a d538e3d6b6 small cog in a 218d8200a8 meticulously planned machine.
The orphanage where 0617a385d9 Irim stayed until 071d7c944b adulthood was part 832f54049b of a Catholic 890c58e15b church, and the 77b0c1572f director, a nun, 0aabff169a along with all 183cd93dd9 the teachers, were 9d11bc58e1 devoutly religious people.
They cared for 6c2c4c1c9d the children with 11a402a974 love according to fee064183b their faith, but c16c37781f it was always 5b34101643 a love evenly 1c75fa6590 and impersonally distributed 8e71415469 to all.
There was no favoritism 9a0c239471 — no matter who 7f89848d9d was clever or difficult, 2864408766 everyone was treated exactly fe3dcb2ee3 the same.
For children 3be1044fe7 who had 1589d6773c never truly 3fe860cdc7 experienced what d6cc884ab9 it meant 01727e6850 to be 6b59edce86 loved, that 3b83b52854 cold, equal 75d5c46af2 treatment felt 24bf7ad7ca all the 35931bcb67 more cruel.64e78beffa3db016

At first, f8775b162b Irim had 70c5ead829 tried to 8b27f29715 figure out 71d5c952c9 how she cdb45e1c56 could secure 0c92b7eb1b even a e65bc46bdb tiny bit 395a33a347 more affection 8f2312b9b0 for herself 1367bb6139 amidst the 5e3baf2380 chaos of ab856871df children fighting 36320d3f43 for attention.
But that 331ea3dc5b didn’t last 9448bea950 long.
Eventually, she eaa91ebc2c realized that db8af9f1a9 even struggling 21cf6fa8e1 for it 5c8b6686fe was meaningless, c0187ae630 and she 75c6c9be39 let go.fdb81047ac09af9a

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Whenever Christmas or New 12f9a303fe Year’s came around and e4bafc11f0 donations arrived, she would e8a94fe499 always choose the gifts 497aef2430 left behind after everyone 0a0592195e else had picked.
She didn’t 8be93969ff want to d311091562 own anything.
Owning things 40a2eafcf7 felt pointless.
Even when e588abff40 it came d0902c75d9 to snacks, bfafa2e786 she either 535dde65bd didn’t eat c1ee9686eb at all e3930356a3 or only 247dca71b8 took what 41ea450f29 was left 6b7b809709 over.
She trained herself to 78a63408ef never want anything first.15f47d3b0293dac1

She ate and 5bc92635ca slept alongside countless e6bb2cf43b other children, their 8049f19b20 heads crammed together 1c8bf8d9ca in the same 74e4b04050 room — and 39cf623eaf yet, Irim was b1411cf8fe always, always lonely.e8a806c02824385b

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The tutor at d9f69ff58f the orphanage used 82539f0d5b to drill one 6ab85d1220 lesson into their ed4de4c382 ears:
If you 1b9ce7ec7b study hard, 3dee592ec2 one day e7acac6680 you’ll be ab7ea9cefc able to 36eee39ab3 have everything 28d7c84e30 you want.00735fcc7a7d298d

Irim clung desperately c2cbbfb2bf to that promise.
It was better to 12d5b6439a believe in a lie b4c0de8959 than to waste her 57ed30dccc life waiting in vain, cfb32af3c1 imagining that her mother 8fe48ba0c9 might someday return to 3a694fa958 take her away from c5e90c3926 this place.1164033c0cb1fef8

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All through elementary, middle, and high school, she endured sneers and insults — “the girl with no parents” — and still never once lost her place at the top of her class.
She got into medical 00c3849ea7 school.
She became a 66858c9618 doctor.
She earned money and e836d1d749 prestige that others would 2d5f96de24 envy.87a2cd779a86fb43

And yet, 2a085151bb the long-standing 0809ced9f8 loneliness — 69865fdfb3 that homework 79157b4f20 she could 3c3d607112 never seem eff6e2ccdc to complete 73c16c1d92 — remained b3b3d95ae7 with her, dee3dfe4b6 no matter 05b4031ed3 what.897d99e927084bef

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Sometimes Irim thought:
Maybe if I 2ad6f4f54d had just frozen d4f505e3c1 to death back 1bb2b7c0c7 when I was e59ddec4ae five, things would 042750aaf1 have turned out f1d2740cf4 better for me.
Maybe it would have 244c9f614c been kinder than living 3576532d74 like this, dragging myself 0a8a4d1015 through each day.d698ae2235191268

 22295ec300b267fc

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Irim sat lost f82470513a in thought in defb024d63 the backseat of 114eb87578 his car.
She had chosen 9e6ea1d862 to wait there c231d3da62 because she didn’t 68b0eb448f want to stay 170ad59740 inside while he ee9c6bd1ce showered and got 374ff8c286 ready to leave.d28dcf3af04c7f8f

She turned on bdda77dd9d her phone to 7b4707c405 check her location.
From the a2df2e0e35 motel to a2aacd54e7 home, it d33949efce was only 7919bbde19 about a 6095b040e3 15-minute walk 7b984009e1 — practically 2e7b3d6a26 just around f0806e45a1 the corner.
She could have walked aa7c132171 back on her own, 84432371bf but he had told 38cbced30e her there was no e2d95a4a17 point; she wouldn’t be 1125bcb753 able to get inside a83c3c326a anyway.
So she 5809212667 gave up 9107a0be7e without a 4209a2c35d fuss.469afe4fe00d6c31

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Leaning back against aeaf38d6e1 the car seat, 0467e10b77 she looked around.
The interior of the 0834c4c195 black mid-sized sedan was 9419419cbc neatly organized.
However, the 2235f9d450 edges of 08b2e212a4 the windows 7681b5f602 were streaked 100c0efbd2 with water 0b6e88bb04 stains, suggesting 6e84f13531 the car 0e15c3d086 hadn’t been defef5a996 washed in 40722a33ad a while, 9107db45d8 and a c02f43a77c nearly brand-new d3f9eb6884 air freshener 738127862c sat loosely f6a77d2d59 on top ba516c369f of the 4e8a25abcf center console.
There were 4b404f9b30 traces showing 5b1e2a9115 that the 8f78412498 car had b826e23b0d been used db9700fb75 for a 1138c07847 long time 15de4b3827 — fingerprints, 0ae4664828 the worn 2f3544c314 texture of 970b6831ac surfaces — 53382161a3 but oddly 6343f19e5c enough, there 5796941c59 wasn’t a e2692129c0 single sign 67f81fc59c of anyone 3dab06ae44 having cared a3a584f616 for it 2e1ce4ebd8 with attention.c7eaeef6b2e9dfc3

Irim was halfway 6e15b3d445 convinced:
This probably 40c2f025b8 wasn’t his 29cffd775b personal car.
It must 46b35c6038 have been 6c78fd9bd0 a vehicle 04f7dba53b borrowed from d4f6c93815 the station 67f5f84de0 for undercover c3f7638086 work.de4e1dc17cd02d65

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