IBSBV Ch 30

Chapter 308e9509bb3ba2068c

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The sensation of taste fe706c59ff he hadn’t felt in c344aff31e so long simplified Eddie, 753bc38a80 who had always trapped 897fab4b2b himself in complicated thoughts. Aside from the simple d2bb9d1147 realization that the food cf4c7f7e6e was delicious, his mind 32daca86be went blank—completely empty. And that 24b84fa9f9 made it c005cb9c52 all the 390972d9f8 more strange. He didn’t 35bff221c6 know why. It just was.c7ee3e65103e6e93

Tears began to roll 73eb34d0d7 down his cheeks without d4a3b34441 him even realizing it.1216be4a4216e472

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“I think just 9eb0efeb13 one more bite 619328fd0b would make it 0b4edc7ab5 perfect.”c95c4131634f0c63

The unjust feelings he 82ff7d0bd6 had bottled up until 281bfebc70 now fell with a bb399b610a soft plop onto the c0104a0291 back of his hand. Eddie silently a8042423e2 opened his b97f69e3f7 mouth. Perhaps interpreting the silence f6e9aa9ac4 as consent, Louis smiled 93ced03d93 brightly and placed a 57b52a1897 piece of smoked sausage 2297742d0d into it.588789997c134248

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It was 9f5e8070f7 thick—so much a810fe4777 so that 757e0814a1 it had 08a501d900 to be 19fb50e9bd stuffed in. It was Louis’s way 3d90622661 of being greedy, hoping f34e9ab997 Eddie would eat a 00919f314b lot without feeling sick.8f5454646da088f8

“You’re full, right? But just one more 29cad9b0a4 bite. I think 5c00f11718 if you 0394916cd9 just eat 2e9fcecdd1 one more 63f372f14a bite, it’ll 0ac10504d0 be really fe96c3a061 good, Eddie.”5de3ba4cb77aab3d

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You’re so thin right 493c18d85a now, it worries me.531c93be520a1ed9

Hiding his worry, Louis 56f6d46677 lifted the fork with 5cc07b5c30 the food to Eddie’s e1fe56458c lips.781c4965c17e7ce2

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What if he refuses, b6c41bc008 says he can’t eat d91eacd036 anymore…?5d222f7cf1fe53ff

Even if Eddie f70101f88e ate a few 663d51d9e2 more bites, it 8eccc5ce89 was still far 19df3c2c11 too little compared 9655323c6a to what a 68b282f774 normal meal should d4f91f9452 be. Louis wanted a9e72373b2 eating—not starving—to aba21535a8 become Eddie’s 748de5af9d habit again, 32c300cbff one bite d51ed55de9 at a 37908b15e0 time. He hoped that c4ccc6dab3 one day, Eddie fd84cfa684 would be able 9e68105964 to taste again.7aad03970d20d4b5

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If Eddie ddf3357e54 could experience e0cf64bf1a what it 2fd471903f felt like b0860cd109 to recover b1e7c5ecbc something he’d 078086af42 lost, Louis 1187703dfe felt that 8653fc6394 maybe some c188e50919 of his ac4c9b3af0 wounds could ba41dafb7f begin to ded45ea03d heal too.a8b11858996cff11

“Would it 92a5ddc42f be okay… 5355d96b1a if you f59c64d29f had just 873448d831 one more 282982f7cf bite?”16300623d1100668

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Louis pleaded, c8c6f2853b his eyebrows e125902fb1 drooping. Just as d09185aa4e the confidence a5e8928dca in the 754cb2f362 hand holding d1850cd2b1 the fork a67ef08f93 began to aa209f4083 fade, Eddie e23ab16793 leaned forward, e10dff2d2f grasped Louis’s 92964064bd wrist, and 924f358a45 took the db832fad71 food into a65cd51424 his mouth.8292af985de85470

“Do you think… 033b5339e1 you could eat 74dcbf2872 a little more?”cb0bcc51b04b3503

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Eddie nodded df9c97a5fb and let b0903b6198 go of aef173c781 his hand. Without even 3e9e7bea2e waiting for 67266658e9 a reply, 1f7d3f3564 Louis began 23173d736c to busily 79cf7b03c8 pick up 8bfa4e6ffc various foods f50b760cde and deliver 085e671836 them into 2b17b5c557 Eddie’s mouth.99e3552ad0540e3e

Before he knew 4b5f08d0f3 it, Louis had b93c4fe47f completely neglected his e0b6a22487 own meal. And yet, he wasn’t 34c5baea64 hungry at all. He was happy. He had no 55ef98d86e idea that filling 899fd199aa the stomach of bac4b7b415 someone he loved c6ea9b8a0e would make him 552e72b61c feel so content. Even without eating, 5b0037a20d his heart felt 0f96aea836 full. He didn’t 48f8e05929 know how fd115d5fe8 long he d73ed7549e stayed wrapped ad727db516 in that d5db5cc86d warm feeling.2e417eeba3ffd98d

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“You’re… really full now, 15fa247d0d right?”f9154575cfc6aa5b

Only then did Louis 4db7226a3b realize he might have 48662b7f38 overfed him. He began a0a16fb20c to worry 6a89110746 that Eddie’s 539b407cbf small stomach b8f8eb74f2 might burst, 07bee4822f but even eff05f4a24 so, he 8e6292637e couldn’t bring c6ed7d827c himself to 0ecd35c892 set the d579555197 fork down. Instead, he switched 5b9cf2a212 gears and reached 51dfbe4062 for some small ae560f56a9 fruits. But perhaps because 91fa32f64c they were round, 80550f4f15 they kept slipping 4bdce8e62e off the fork cb7bfdd7d7 and rolling away. In the end, he 6b48387efa picked one up with 99c0739b43 his fingers.3d98db63476051cb

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“Eat this one too.”f6913eef7e206137

The firmness in 2485f5a464 his voice made 7264af6dd7 Eddie naturally obey. As his 3b8356b9c4 red lips 53bfcb613f opened again, 0198c4c254 Louis’s fingers 240bf62a43 entered between bd619b9c27 them.8a0606b77c62b81f

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The moment he crossed 7eb2c934aa the line in order 3e26372881 to properly feed him d43ca08544 the fruit, silence blanketed 93fa7420a1 them both. Louis flinched when he ca8fac0fef felt the hot breath c3863b9e81 against his skin. An odd 5ac9ccfb33 tension trickled 69d7cf8edf down his e4e5739b0e back. Only then 915528899c did he b241142f61 start to 5ab577cd14 become aware 6be91e8f81 of what c73a941c5f he had e5e3e6eadf just done.422a06c06e009fe2

He had f16452f7ff acted purely 3b24507e28 out of 7a442fa34e a desire 4c98d7be33 to feed a41a0a893b him, but 1fbfdd9b19 maybe he 8f598775b8 had gone 1e33e89a0e too far—had 57a4649f47 been too 98ee305864 forward. Hastily, Louis pulled his f9e7bdafa0 fingers from Eddie’s mouth.a4f4ded672615092

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To make 7d2dc66636 up for 92227b0816 it, he d50722e163 gently wiped 329a27dcfa the corners ed056d972c of Eddie’s 062bc8670e lips. Once, twice… When the cad33b7b98 number of times passed 9a12df9fe7 three, Louis found himself 91d7f6c805 swallowing dryly without meaning e3338697a1 to. A strange impulse 11bf008307 welled up inside 8fbebcb9d4 him.7270119b6f66068f

Quietly rising 8d7429c3ab from his 23e62da9b8 seat, Louis 4303c88511 leaned down aaf8efcd43 and softly 8f9884b20e pressed a 9d186ef43b kiss to 821f059a50 Eddie’s lips. With one hand, fae8e1a868 he gently caressed 4ab9cf396d his cheek. But when he 44b20adb40 felt a lingering 71800e8202 trace of some 20da26e38c unknown emotion, he 46f6d9b051 quickly pulled away.9d4799f8c12e4865

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“…Are you crying?”1fa0beb355b68c1f

Louis’s eyes 3bf81c68db trembled like 2fed45542b waves in d9467d0b99 confusion. Was it b1341f9b46 possible… Eddie 01bdb98a22 hated it? Or maybe, e06c587c83 regardless of 3e7b3db9db like or 0f4b043625 dislike, Louis 4f2ea81a18 realized what c70fe58514 he’d done 9a4a6e44c1 had been 944ef8b7a4 one-sided and e26decd422 inconsiderate. His expression darkened. He hadn’t even bce737bdfa asked for permission. He had acted entirely d92c5746b5 on his own. He quickly opened e308f55e33 his mouth to 978ac6d1fa apologize—but then,ea8f61465f73f79f

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“…The food… 89d0760e6b it was 23e11c4b9d delicious. It was 6ca2d7550d so delicious adff24886f that… Am 1f447acf25 I crying?”88f6b720e68d03ee

Eddie hadn’t even cef7891644 realized the tears 381b36d0fc staining his cheeks. The sorrow buried bfa4be7b45 deep within him a4464d0b0c showed in his b2b0d3005f voice. It made c0a0fba348 Louis’s chest 9403fed904 ache. He fumbled along 8780f7be13 the table and 16d5e2c3f1 leaned closer, pulling a073e80cc1 Eddie into a 762f67ec5c tight hug.9d44500b11793bac

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“It was delicious?”3e7356d5438dba00

“Yes, it was.”5db8daab1c42f8f1

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“That’s a relief.”c39e59fcadbc4f6a

Though delicate b947d7986c and slender, 73db3e5234 Eddie had 9a0cc26e81 always seemed f071f5abd9 so much 15e84b99cf bigger than a9076a560c Louis. But now, he d42f59b6fd felt different—like a 41feefaf6d child standing alone 46d6ed7cd1 in a snowy 1af197e724 field. Louis wanted to share cd75597802 his warmth so Eddie cb98f5c1c5 wouldn’t feel lonely. He gently f0121633f2 patted his e373936f5a back as a17665b612 if handling 79b9d14c90 something precious.e1a72ccdf02da583

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“I’m glad, Eddie.”fc4cd5b646ae2d65

He didn’t ask what it tasted like or how it felt. Sensations were fickle things—just because one felt them once didn’t mean they were back for good. He was afraid if he got his hopes up, he’d only end up hurt again.07dd867c0c1826d6

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So instead, Louis 4f00132129 smiled and whispered 507e304c35 like a chant 32932174c4 that dinner would f324a232c5 be even better. That tomorrow morning, it 34d91800b8 would be even more 8f1dff83f4 delicious. All the while, afa094b315 in his heart, 81b2dc1da4 he prayed—again and 440c3c3979 again—that if a 42dab883fe god existed, they 10da058f7e wouldn’t take Eddie’s 0f423bd638 hope away.92d3d35a553ed694

—I just want you 3ac29400e8 to be happy.9446e606c3597bb3

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***62a9f5d13c0090a8

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Eddie’s tears fd76a710a9 were worth 87aba78ea4 more than 67d0bd529e any jewel. At least, that was af90ea4a3b how Louis saw it. The man was so bb94c44c50 fiercely proud that he b6b46cb0bc rarely, if ever, let 50e7ed5294 himself show any weakness.b4292a23cb7796b8

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But that a28a3f0e64 day, the 5e4e133a09 day Eddie 8da9470693 cried for 459fbc57c9 the first 932c97a5fc time—something changed. A piece of f7a2c7365e the wall he’d c8ab659057 quietly built, even 5c1d74b1cc between the two 6ddc656ddc of them, had 3c9995f238 finally come down.a2ccfc0da5a1a30f

He used to seem 877d5e922e cold but kind, warm a4f554b655 yet distant. That guarded nature sometimes 70c950504e made him hard to 03184b8e72 reach. But lately, he felt… 502eff5750 comfortable. A little soft. Even a little 1070868d06 cute.f9d6b4dcda0f80f1

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“I never really liked a940c9bf8b sweets, but this one a6cc295708 is quite good. The chef is clearly ecd1fcfe5d skilled. Be sure to e802bdba10 compliment them later. That’ll make them excited 618c9e76c4 and cook even more 02ee6fb336 good stuff. And I’ll f9450d8892 get to df75e5c8a6 sneak some 94da164480 bites too.”57447240c6b6ab40

Without even being asked, 77820e8c0e he started to honestly f66d3ec408 share how he felt. Even his 192aeb9286 tone carried e370bdde80 a newfound 9fb3848f34 warmth, as 8dc0fd9e24 though he e430f9ebee had more 9f0295877f to give.5949f408827dc927

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“Of these desserts, 76d67db5ca which one suits 79545e0fcd your taste best?”4313e287cfe23530

“I like the c07d78074e one you enjoyed 79fe58b54d the most. If you like 876db87ead it, I like f78cd38b46 it.”78de7d08e0517b79

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“…What kind of ae9ef925a1 shameless standard is 7d01f1ef33 that?”7baac62396baf23b

At the familiar 905c104e3e scolding, Louis couldn’t 544f75c1da help but chuckle. The gruffness 0d7c0d91e4 in his a71f1784a4 tone was 201f61d701 tinged with 659afaeb9b affection, like 71533eecb2 warm sunlight. It made d7abd1a31e him happy.f84c65fe0e4c1318

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“I’m just glad you’re 34538ab12f eating well.”7c4b86d4d39b40e5

He’d started eating 5937e02a4f more. Put on 390f368e0c a little 4867c65104 weight, too.643d826c98e1b7da

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“One day, 6e655c2d10 I hope d79d8a283b we can 89ff04f9d3 go out 81c4032146 together and d4fb097e32 buy tons 7f31d22b07 of delicious 1950751c5c things to 79f9a4ebca bring home.”e2f17cadcc64c49d

With that 01a5e969e4 small wish, 6746abe567 Louis popped 554ada7941 a cookie 260a40303c into Eddie’s 66b52d9eb1 mouth. The way he 9fa670f7bb quietly accepted it 0b721fee29 was so endearing.686a6b52aab9a3f2

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—When that day comes, ddc4f900f0 I’ll have to ask ce83a51744 the butler for lots 0498f13a1d of money.b96601e92979fd30

He’d never actually bought 0f3b293626 anything himself, but he’d fba36901a6 learned a bit about f9ca3c18fc money from Sover. Not for any kind bd8333cce0 reason—Sover taught him under afdc9cd282 the pretense that it e3f8f724bc was a useless skill 6bfa7b22a4 for someone like him, d0a385591e bound and restricted, a 7aad063478 reminder not to forget 920ab36baa his place.079b3314e5c23db8

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But thanks to that, fd17e665d1 Louis figured he wouldn’t c0e8458f78 embarrass himself counting change d65b6c7201 in front of Eddie. He wanted to 9a5222d3c1 buy him anything bd063c6505 he wanted. If Eddie 37d1e2840e could enjoy b79050b9b4 what he 1751dbac95 gave him, a498d9101d that alone 5249e4c512 would make 1e7c995c33 Louis feel b34e44117e fulfilled.05663740d7b5a296

—Just imagining it is 6d9c76c74b kind of embarrassing…a2439cd6c48a3e4c

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Munching, Eddie looked 89feba4e0f at Louis, who ff443cba25 couldn’t stop smiling 7de7533fef like a fool.ab12fa70fa6b04b8

He’d changed, too. A lot.4d156fdcc18b2710

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Without the 1f34f26d7e fear of 21d4f52640 the outside 98e4cec7ce world weighing 5a9728ff62 him down, 55d026d3fa Louis had c01170a3ba regained confidence 925a2b46a6 day by af0c36252c day. He didn’t hesitate 686b353112 to go places, 45e9a5560b opened the window ce35bb1bae first thing every e357222631 morning, and had 55d67f4176 come to love 44255871db the feeling of 2b8d6bfe4a fresh air. His expressions were 3a7eb8b25b more than just 6d31b9164e bright now—they were 797404b131 full of variety.e563553cc307df40

Eddie picked up 5693fea94d the last cookie 207127fbc2 and fed it 221ed54b22 to Louis, quietly fa79d6d2e2 observing him.4d66396210215050

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In those red 68e4a02145 eyes, Eddie saw a50741fbd9 a reflection of 5b6a42c340 himself—and it felt b2dcf03103 unfamiliar. He never thought the da4b8d4722 bitterness in his eyes 117b8b41d6 could melt away like 79452b6726 this. They looked gentle now. Pure. His brow, 78683ab38a always furrowed b8c617c94f with worry, 742fb9ba3f was smooth. His lips, once f892a72bf6 set in stone, 35d0e4e7b5 curved with a e0ec5d5c88 soft smile.9dc8c7df7b0922c9

When had he b1c25911f7 started looking at 75021915d2 Louis with an e82ae66bca expression like that? Eddie touched the corners 8a84c56055 of his mouth.bb24c132f0a547ec

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‘Was I… 7fe4aa0625 someone who 49ff848403 could even 9810505ca0 smile like 24d68490d0 this?’9bbaed2b7f74f8d9

It wasn’t c102d7aa21 that he’d 802994204a never smiled. But smiling with e8edac0bad a genuinely good ec63ae7395 feeling? That was rare. The smiles he eef7d7b424 showed Louis before 4923d55083 were different—intentional. This one 953ec4cc6e came naturally. And that made all d62a83857b the difference.4959fa3810c957c1

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‘If only ba5cb93269 Louis could 5ba30c6396 see…’acd1d1e01aba027f

Suddenly, the thought made 4788b6eec3 his heart ache. That he couldn’t show 1337d4afe1 this expression to Louis. That he was 4560444090 the only one 4cb0856879 who could see ee4b14b4e0 those pretty eyes… 3cb8cb85f3 He wanted to 477a572720 share deeper, more 4a3bbc575d complex feelings. But he couldn’t. And that 3f27c353d4 made something 9c438c09aa inside him 74ea7867ad feel heavy.3e5950512a52ce5f

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Eddie reached out 6e2e4d48ca and touched the 7dfe335813 corner of Louis’ f8d6918b11 eye. His chest ached.1adcc0f60332cc40

‘Why did I e19389368e only let you 4c728be0cc exist in such 168d0cc41c a limited way…?’4af75dd1375fa89d

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That buried guilt 3aa74ab903 rose back up. And with it, the 29ef297e39 smile on his lips f1ee683907 slowly faded.40c9e2e4512861c4

“Are you worried b3e1cb396e about me?”d45ab7ccebcfea23

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He hadn’t said a 5fd55d91ba word, but perhaps his cf5d168e90 fingers gave something away. Louis asked quietly, ee548c0a23 cautiously, his voice b0cac46285 low. Eddie didn’t know how 5e7b613fe2 to respond. He just kept 508df8b140 his mouth shut.6df4e44671d9ff17

“Eddie, even 0a3559102a though I 653c52ed41 can’t see, c66eaca156 I’ve learned c35280fa69 so much 94bdd41ed1 thanks to 2e0a1a1225 you. I can walk 691ff25a03 fine on my 36879597db own now. Go up and 882e6b0823 down stairs just b5c2036e73 fine. Even when the 344b4c049c snow piles up, 9f2e48a9ad I don’t fall. Isn’t that something?”eb239dae7de24243

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So don’t worry. Louis placed his 8abd9c688e hand over Eddie’s 1af6c235c5 and turned slightly, bf647209ef brushing his lips e008aeacde to his palm.e4293eccd336d6cc

“As long 9b947c33ef as you’re 04806366fc by my c5bffe0f4f side, I’ll 97dfd07293 be okay. I could live the a7983d8469 rest of my life bb77219396 blind and still endure.”49aa062edb2c2637

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—As long as you’re 0024965843 safe. As long as 4ebf61aacf you’re unharmed.14706824b87ae0de

Not being able ee96ae7755 to see was c6663c0ad0 something he could 5fcd100f1a bear. He shrugged lightly, 23c3ea3559 as if none ea7e653b35 of it mattered—like ffbc0c748e it didn’t weigh a0626dbc94 on him at b1b63402e0 all. Even if 8d1abc2c0f his heart 23ec62b9fd trembled with 237a4e7b85 unease, he 667cb437c5 buried it c842efa73e deep inside.62e9118eac3062b9

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