IBSBV Ch 30

Chapter 30965910d9c4a1e4db

 88e7a5163acbfd1a

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The sensation 06626ec3f5 of taste 6c2a149255 he hadn’t 1c68451542 felt in 8669038af4 so long e546606415 simplified Eddie, 3af53fe1a4 who had 25b36e1bfc always trapped 9d9ab27c00 himself in 1d1c1cda29 complicated thoughts. Aside from the 32bdd5cd84 simple realization that 04cb8d75d1 the food was e5318c05c4 delicious, his mind 64f3c41b29 went blank—completely empty. And that f375be9db3 made it 1a5e2ea11c all the 11226aaa44 more strange. He didn’t 4ee367ba68 know why. It just was.f0a4fa73c299e909

Tears began to 1d7a0f1a4e roll down his e6d5d3f132 cheeks without him 80bb332d2e even realizing it.6507383cf4540852

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“I think just 863148cb52 one more bite ca8722797d would make it 4c50e85dae perfect.”b45aaff7357f70bd

The unjust feelings he 269f53055f had bottled up until 7ae057a7b9 now fell with a e106290560 soft plop onto the 8f189a97fe back of his hand. Eddie silently opened 386be069df his mouth. Perhaps interpreting the silence 7ad3707208 as consent, Louis smiled 5ef9f1bffc brightly and placed a d66e28f471 piece of smoked sausage 701f8e25ac into it.dfc1a475c1d2941c

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It was thick—so 3430090be2 much so that 4de4aa65aa it had to 53f43e6c3e be stuffed in. It was f822f48a5f Louis’s way 2b32dfca0a of being 0355f37d61 greedy, hoping 834401e1d9 Eddie would 46c27b9c91 eat a c507cd326b lot without 38663c7ac5 feeling sick.27c146eeefc1f894

“You’re full, right? But just one more 17a6b13cfa bite. I think ebc7f0f334 if you a92b60099a just eat d6f97fad33 one more e707e0fc53 bite, it’ll 34606ae4a5 be really d55ee4975d good, Eddie.”398f92b787d626a0

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You’re so thin right aa4e1f81f3 now, it worries me.68e1ae2950a59f8e

Hiding his worry, 1634be52a3 Louis lifted the e7b2e6bdb4 fork with the 96d66683cc food to Eddie’s f73a014c39 lips.f326dda7770f013d

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What if 3fd62a37dc he refuses, 30b5adfeb1 says he ac52daf7b8 can’t eat e35e7d09bc anymore…?a216928c9bc99547

Even if Eddie ate 10ec2e7d4a a few more bites, 18910083ee it was still far 29c609a7aa too little compared to e783267d72 what a normal meal 6ec9a5bd38 should be. Louis wanted 67ec708878 eating—not starving—to c17b92ad50 become Eddie’s ad796f45ef habit again, 7c57bb8841 one bite 4a9fb15ad4 at a df6be56266 time. He hoped that 8e9bafd45f one day, Eddie 0f7a3f278f would be able 3ee1194e90 to taste again.29ffd5633c619a4c

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If Eddie 2d70366792 could experience f0d010102e what it e942a398e5 felt like 92b1cbebc2 to recover 59be6aac79 something he’d dc7f248fe7 lost, Louis 684a81c2f2 felt that 40de5e7733 maybe some 3e0e21d37f of his 2c11b01edc wounds could e048877cd9 begin to 714934377d heal too.80236c17d826a310

“Would it be a6aa81403d okay… if you ac37c877b7 had just one 7a489927a5 more bite?”aaad70986ab48747

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Louis pleaded, his eyebrows 465e1358fb drooping. Just as the aca502dad4 confidence in the 3f978ec402 hand holding the 810e2f469a fork began to 4f8513bd3e fade, Eddie leaned c39aa879f8 forward, grasped Louis’s cdabbed9bf wrist, and took 89c3529b5d the food into c099eb449b his mouth.95ee23ea46891a32

“Do you 7c25c46c14 think… you 4139f54003 could eat f43338e1c5 a little 4eaa6edab3 more?”8b656ef65f74bdf9

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Eddie nodded 1d4193fa46 and let 138ffe3009 go of be45a37bc6 his hand. Without even 5a5b11123a waiting for b9633908bd a reply, 4cfdef612f Louis began 318ea9c129 to busily 3c6d9bc9a3 pick up c317ac5243 various foods 7019662349 and deliver 89e7dfa641 them into 97ad666fb5 Eddie’s mouth.7d0d93ab748c8b67

Before he knew ecf99459d9 it, Louis had 805f03c96a completely neglected his 1559df4a2f own meal. And yet, he wasn’t 52dad969ee hungry at all. He was happy. He had no 34520afba1 idea that filling 23a3594aca the stomach of 3818ed4046 someone he loved d8b0b43d6a would make him 80dc9d57e9 feel so content. Even without eating, 5bbe731839 his heart felt 9687b99d4a full. He didn’t know 35f7a59349 how long he 7246a9e0e1 stayed wrapped in 445489209b that warm feeling.1ba26002db069cac

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“You’re… really full now, 3b37e01323 right?”f640a3bae96bf0ca

Only then did 61beafe3c4 Louis realize he 89179216f0 might have overfed 658bd83822 him. He began a8de31777e to worry cfeae18796 that Eddie’s 295894628f small stomach 207c397164 might burst, d19cc45fa2 but even ef56c9b5b1 so, he 11add00f3a couldn’t bring 991c27e35f himself to 79b41a3947 set the 3e5b1d5ac0 fork down. Instead, he switched gears 147e11af63 and reached for some e0ef6c4058 small fruits. But perhaps because e1e869ce01 they were round, 8cef133dd7 they kept slipping 32c065ba8e off the fork de4b7c746f and rolling away. In the end, 70aecb9e71 he picked one da0332829f up with his 8e8d235964 fingers.615a3d753134b0e2

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“Eat this one d8b7842f6b too.”f2c2e46800877c70

The firmness in his 4297436e74 voice made Eddie naturally 184b3e53e4 obey. As his red 4c13657643 lips opened again, 468bea27f7 Louis’s fingers entered 6b35a8cbd6 between them.46cb2cc3ad35796c

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The moment 5a694ba3a3 he crossed a1a1fa0e7c the line df968f9da7 in order 825c17855c to properly 037a1a3145 feed him be4e4076cb the fruit, f934af5faa silence blanketed b22a34fcf7 them both. Louis flinched when 536922fd51 he felt the 75bfad78b9 hot breath against fd8bfe99c0 his skin. An odd tension trickled 5dce2d310e down his back. Only then did f99bc323be he start to 9a8ac20460 become aware of 8618813d75 what he had 79a9379877 just done.c9f7eeebb73b8c78

He had acted 768e68f0a5 purely out of f3129adae8 a desire to 2236a371a9 feed him, but 340b981c10 maybe he had b06d30c011 gone too far—had 7f60647a4c been too forward. Hastily, Louis pulled e842f947bf his fingers from 085bdd0907 Eddie’s mouth.4c9def0a34564bba

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To make aa7dc9c7bb up for 5904d907f1 it, he 3194bef5a6 gently wiped 2aaacd02ad the corners c04cce085f of Eddie’s eb3f2913f3 lips. Once, twice… When 07156851cc the number of 4272ea0658 times passed three, 09763b9a54 Louis found himself e163aec827 swallowing dryly without fe7069a04d meaning to. A strange fbbb63449e impulse welled 5ca3a25ea5 up inside 52bb86dc85 him.88a5a7cb09d2efa0

Quietly rising from his f562286998 seat, Louis leaned down b62324722f and softly pressed a 0a3a378b20 kiss to Eddie’s lips. With one c4b9bf291e hand, he ad935fb275 gently caressed baca9a60e7 his cheek. But when 2ccd94d8d0 he felt 964230db40 a lingering c873781184 trace of 290462ba4c some unknown ebddf3a15e emotion, he 68f78625a5 quickly pulled 4f9a87e0f5 away.a1d993d5a29d35f8

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“…Are you crying?”b1614f2e05460ff7

Louis’s eyes trembled 433e3e99a6 like waves in 30d91587a7 confusion. Was it possible… Eddie 0a0bc65c92 hated it? Or maybe, regardless of da71b3db89 like or dislike, Louis 9e355cf6fc realized what he’d done 3939c1fdd1 had been one-sided and a38f701192 inconsiderate. His expression darkened. He hadn’t fc0afe78ac even asked 970cf849b0 for permission. He had acted b6cbab7601 entirely on his 343f77b2c6 own. He quickly opened 8230aa191b his mouth to 4f19956bd8 apologize—but then,a2ad86efcab3b1d7

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“…The food… f2be52cb9c it was 9e7591ac5f delicious. It was so delicious 06f1056b82 that… Am I crying?”e3273cde7a51ce99

Eddie hadn’t even realized 656e5e1c82 the tears staining his 4f95aac964 cheeks. The sorrow 9641a8fc0f buried deep ee9cb857c1 within him 315a0a82b3 showed in c7173ee89b his voice. It made cc2b43f72a Louis’s chest 3b2478621e ache. He fumbled f55811645e along the 5394e2be17 table and 04209e4c4b leaned closer, ec11c6faa7 pulling Eddie 5de7172b0a into a 6644115621 tight hug.25404b9f7ee1591c

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“It was delicious?”25c5359bad315337

“Yes, it was.”9013bc8b41623aea

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“That’s a relief.”326480e8b314dc73

Though delicate and slender, ba9b3ea49d Eddie had always seemed 6723d56f77 so much bigger than 9f49bb7523 Louis. But now, he felt 75e3e80b69 different—like a child standing dc868f7dc6 alone in a snowy a0923ec20b field. Louis wanted to a73073807e share his warmth 9a61d09e28 so Eddie wouldn’t d06f48649f feel lonely. He gently patted 3b79f00264 his back as fcbf41d928 if handling something 5f93fa5ee4 precious.f1fb303fcbf1b4d8

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“I’m glad, Eddie.”2800d081dc116c83

He didn’t ask what it tasted like or how it felt. Sensations were fickle things—just because one felt them once didn’t mean they were back for good. He was afraid if he got his hopes up, he’d only end up hurt again.3f7244a68bda6e46

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So instead, Louis smiled c4196e6f3b and whispered like a a70d148e47 chant that dinner would 347438b0a7 be even better. That tomorrow 70c04051be morning, it 9de5e2726f would be 693310c3ac even more 56ac163a7c delicious. All the a39d892ff5 while, in 3e21ad6142 his heart, d17e015f33 he prayed—again 4ac25b0a51 and again—that 9e6c093eaa if a 503c8e268e god existed, e2fce78457 they wouldn’t 99605aa838 take Eddie’s e1a6f86317 hope away.101161ce97d3d5d9

—I just want you dc37af8b56 to be happy.5406c90826bacbb0

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Eddie’s tears were 3b65425c62 worth more than 0ef9ffe6e3 any jewel. At least, df3a4645da that was 8fa6541a80 how Louis 52b7dbb012 saw it. The man was bae5a600c3 so fiercely proud 3daf36054d that he rarely, 0d8e584600 if ever, let f6887d8fc8 himself show any ba13eb3191 weakness.7e29676c2878aa1d

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But that 3e2a0fb5c6 day, the 37818e9460 day Eddie bb75af396c cried for 153cd412e1 the first 132f60bd63 time—something changed. A piece of 5bbfaa1b43 the wall he’d e7711d5a63 quietly built, even a06a22a28f between the two 473f1a3574 of them, had ab0c6b9d7e finally come down.1a7f0c5cd931430a

He used 2e453613c1 to seem b05f89d646 cold but e067ff991a kind, warm dd501f5168 yet distant. That guarded nature sometimes 7a593f004a made him hard to 120f817808 reach. But lately, 76ca96eded he felt… 13b804c766 comfortable. A little soft. Even a 3ce2fa10ce little cute.3d6ad86149d88e9c

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“I never really liked 1d13036816 sweets, but this one 2a5224d73d is quite good. The chef is clearly 03605a2c6e skilled. Be sure 6843b329b3 to compliment ebc410c52c them later. That’ll make them 5941d0a595 excited and cook e7ebd3cf2a even more good c2a54a6817 stuff. And I’ll get cf59270dc7 to sneak some 10b77aada7 bites too.”fbd13de647ac4ed6

Without even being 5d8e07440a asked, he started 989932cf2f to honestly share ffcdd07aec how he felt. Even his tone dbd4082df7 carried a newfound bee6e8fbe1 warmth, as though da0675d20f he had more 45c8e2984f to give.97c53026d50fa6ad

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“Of these desserts, which 6609cb49fe one suits your taste cef645f2e5 best?”e195c68f4f3f2422

“I like a1355fa7d1 the one 6828bed4bc you enjoyed a6c1c299a3 the most. If you like bc14512ad2 it, I like 2c39fa484d it.”c6cc37a13b1c8535

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“…What kind of shameless ba774ddd69 standard is that?”5957c8fd038ae79d

At the dc73abb7a4 familiar scolding, 68cebae61d Louis couldn’t 1ed5dff174 help but 3d4e8020ed chuckle. The gruffness in c3d0fbb17e his tone was 71868629d1 tinged with affection, d20538d3cb like warm sunlight. It made him e1494bde76 happy.1a3fd5c56ffaf671

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“I’m just glad you’re bf85094659 eating well.”ca40455f56948431

He’d started eating more. Put on a little 29087a8c21 weight, too.f400d6c0b12cddce

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“One day, I 7187ad9c68 hope we can e92e97fdc1 go out together c345265148 and buy tons 338c8ad5ff of delicious things 0c650f6d94 to bring home.”49b1a07e7d7074cf

With that ec1eff02d7 small wish, e5be03ccdc Louis popped fe3b8410c2 a cookie 16f5df71d1 into Eddie’s 7fa8ea5b95 mouth. The way f46eebde74 he quietly a5c215b84a accepted it fee9708e73 was so e8036a6aef endearing.c2f01a15a7e880c1

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—When that day 116a9fb679 comes, I’ll have 994d72e7d1 to ask the df6d6e8b0f butler for lots 3b5481feb6 of money.30dd0b1bbd42c954

He’d never actually bought 24a100a1f0 anything himself, but he’d b6c2d25c3c learned a bit about e61f60b418 money from Sover. Not for any 5aa293f1c8 kind reason—Sover taught 91820d60a2 him under the b373d54dcd pretense that it 90b78fd39b was a useless 8d06b35bb6 skill for someone 5b6e2b5664 like him, bound e27d26d4c2 and restricted, a ad62cba5e6 reminder not to b4e1373b56 forget his place.8e29de7d26b8e71e

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But thanks to that, b5ba06d560 Louis figured he wouldn’t 81d2da63d0 embarrass himself counting change ca14bd04a4 in front of Eddie. He wanted to buy 0609e14415 him anything he wanted. If Eddie could 0ab38dd443 enjoy what he 06abada37d gave him, that bac2802197 alone would make 894c5c09af Louis feel fulfilled.0adb4a178270c525

—Just imagining it is 6d29257b8f kind of embarrassing…cd200334db8c0abd

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Munching, Eddie looked fd4cda9228 at Louis, who b3702a402a couldn’t stop smiling 02efb1edb5 like a fool.7af48f7e1b76b6a5

He’d changed, too. A lot.ff4dfe8f23f2b61d

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Without the fear of 49f714099b the outside world weighing 2156c8cd70 him down, Louis had 02bc1b69d8 regained confidence day by b2cd1186b3 day. He didn’t hesitate to 6c96348fa3 go places, opened the 6a246af20f window first thing every b6368725a3 morning, and had come 376a1e6c03 to love the feeling 9794688197 of fresh air. His expressions were more fee6faba0b than just bright now—they 5ce68e35b7 were full of variety.defff9d14b4f44b0

Eddie picked up a031076b1f the last cookie be2737381d and fed it 81e94598ee to Louis, quietly f3a6797a5b observing him.59bb830deef6a2c6

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In those red 2a9f5f4850 eyes, Eddie saw d1e5579c0b a reflection of 52e99c1b93 himself—and it felt acc5923c87 unfamiliar. He never thought the 5e7ff0f4b6 bitterness in his eyes ee7fa84bda could melt away like a9affa7874 this. They looked ab16823bf7 gentle now. Pure. His brow, always 919e87b943 furrowed with worry, c964c1ae48 was smooth. His lips, once 9e6e8c5cd4 set in stone, f070bb30ea curved with a a62d3ac1c3 soft smile.5689c8d6900223ce

When had 15641068e7 he started 2c3b5395f2 looking at 2a1dad69da Louis with a1ee6d6801 an expression 3f46d9c411 like that? Eddie touched 7ab2c01d4b the corners 7e561092d9 of his 9ef9661c9f mouth.25fb0b2efe7b16c2

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‘Was I… someone 9bd0fc199b who could even e63583ec1a smile like this?’e5fb67598aef3bde

It wasn’t that he’d a3ca6d7dee never smiled. But smiling with a 0dc9e5a5d5 genuinely good feeling? That was rare. The smiles he d78c3b19a6 showed Louis before 427fb35a7b were different—intentional. This one came cd81fbbbbe naturally. And that made all 9800352b43 the difference.facfff495cabeab4

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‘If only bc3647fc82 Louis could 2069ce82fd see…’dc4217f603c7ebad

Suddenly, the thought made 6f458963da his heart ache. That he couldn’t 7c694784bc show this expression ac4918f4a8 to Louis. That he was c0417da2a6 the only one e2787fcfe5 who could see b37e2d5b13 those pretty eyes… f95bea7379 He wanted to b76ccb34be share deeper, more 359939088c complex feelings. But he couldn’t. And that made something 67f83c7a39 inside him feel heavy.77c899395a1bfa91

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Eddie reached out b02555b2a4 and touched the 597e58fbbb corner of Louis’ 98326fb197 eye. His chest ached.473ec8c551922195

‘Why did I only 2c87bf9b42 let you exist in d47c15e2d7 such a limited way…?’748927cdbac8f541

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That buried ce78b938b3 guilt rose 6d64b51673 back up. And with it, the 592783258c smile on his lips 53bea609ec slowly faded.fec3f6a0c7516742

“Are you worried about 6bbbad24f3 me?”cf6e954f25f7be6c

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He hadn’t said be4827ca95 a word, but 146fb3d13e perhaps his fingers dbc487fcff gave something away. Louis asked quietly, cautiously, 9918f7e1a5 his voice low. Eddie didn’t fe3ea886f4 know how 2e2ed95ab7 to respond. He just kept c8bfd48fcb his mouth shut.a4e1549d19f7c182

“Eddie, even though bd45f96939 I can’t see, fbe248aafe I’ve learned so c3bfb6ece6 much thanks to 7154123d46 you. I can walk fine 0c8e7b5483 on my own now. Go up and c1e048dbf6 down stairs just bfa76b5824 fine. Even when the 59f93040bf snow piles up, 43979c5b53 I don’t fall. Isn’t that something?”a55fc8ef3f454518

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So don’t worry. Louis placed his 6c3088f4cc hand over Eddie’s c9e80c1174 and turned slightly, 12f9af1959 brushing his lips 38fa9f2af1 to his palm.dc7f41a64b7ea69b

“As long as fbe32c30a5 you’re by my 95d8196747 side, I’ll be 3374eece19 okay. I could live the ebe453ba40 rest of my life a5e893bd18 blind and still endure.”9150ca152ad52245

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—As long as 2b2dac6000 you’re safe. As long as df5ae4c276 you’re unharmed.e32667eb42013dca

Not being 2f0e4a84b7 able to 790553ea7f see was 97801addc6 something he 5ae46381db could bear. He shrugged lightly, as 4f9fff45f4 if none of it be4b7a813a mattered—like it didn’t weigh 03f7a74d39 on him at all. Even if his c08a701249 heart trembled with 9f6959adca unease, he buried 71e522b9da it deep inside.864313ed72b882ad

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