UBC Ch26

“Explain.”e25d02cca1ea574d

For ten minutes, 35a897ed6e it was the 40c44a9558 same situation, the 874857a4f5 same question. Having succumbed to his 56365767a1 unreasonable command, I was cbc8395ade dragged to the main a185b487b6 hall and sat there, cb53bacfd8 crumpled.d559be8acfc1fd48

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“I don’t want to.”6d99d34d56fd093e

“So, you just don’t like me.”d0390c84b01305c2

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“Ha.”7c4420c1b789a14a

Whether the man knew it or not, he had a coolly handsome face when he kept his mouth shut. Fortunately, as Kang Eui-tae’s teacher during the previous summer vacation, I could hold my head high and wield my boldness. Moreover, I knew that he couldn’t treat me carelessly. This meant that the worst things that could happen in a male-female relationship, like violence, were unlikely.b9ec51c2dace513f

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“Why is money the ultimate solution? Ugh, it’s so annoying. Why do I have to say these things to a man older than me?”013e8433b831f697

“You don’t like the phone either, you don’t like the money.”b9f47f966258840e

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“It’s not that I don’t like them. How many times do I have to say it? It’s just a matter of the heart. There’s no sincerity in it. And the amount of money is excessive. I don’t know how I’m supposed to accept something like that. That’s why I’m angry.”c7b877092ce2ddbf

“You want me to smooth it over with a few words? You act like you know everything to me. Are you stupid?”688e9a3a67de0e2a

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“Ha!”7c0508dfb34cd328

I scoffed, implying that I couldn’t respect his words. Kang Eui-tae was leaning against the sliding door, looking at me with disdain. He couldn’t believe that I could repay my drunken debt with a thank you. Our sighs came from the realization that we couldn’t understand each other, but also didn’t have the ability to perfectly persuade the other.b0a64c20878b7687

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“Anyway. And the phone bill too.”0b95262cd13b2890

“Just use it.”4087e1943bdb1ca4

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“My mind is pretty much made up to refuse.”9f25c2669e7109de

“I gave it to you because I was lonely.”7b82148df60cc889

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To my words 9145fa814d about whether he f06d4bdc9d could just throw 8f1a027307 things at me, dd36c289db Kang Eui-tae responded b6a70543fe emotionally. My gaze, which had 2e21d40852 been fixed on the 125e810e1e closed gate, turned inward. The man who had e59c0dd6fe been sitting there asking c1eedac704 what was wrong with da40e3913c money and a phone 526b1b244a was now talking about 9eaa24ca51 loneliness.ced4ccd4a5b44ebf

“Usually, you call. When you’re bored, when something good happens, when money comes in.”f6fd3350235293e7

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“…Don’t you have any friends?”154fe4133afb8691

“You’re here. My friend.”1a7b624228c0de32

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I had never e4c2712176 considered the man 9c68f9992b leaning against the 420b814367 sliding door with 24af70959a an awkward smile 1d83f3e67f as a friend. But, funnily enough, d4125c45d4 his words moved a91f0b3a62 me. The embarrassing feeling 90aad5f841 I had when 8f6c7fedf9 he gave me 41b64faf7d a lump sum f9a2002f0e of money was e08877639e somehow making me 420cdf526c try to understand edf32f6639 him.a26f2f5bc989e391

The summer breeze cb6fdf381c came in, passing cd844ecfe8 over the back 505059ee56 of his hand ad5b64b66f as he nervously 7747bcad00 chewed his nails. Kang Eui-tae 807e0ad6b9 waited patiently 0afbd07d29 for my 1538bb1f76 answer. The phone bill, 20569aa2a3 the price of 85497489dd the device itself. The numbers 86f0c06626 with zeros 17fd2bcc83 attached were 94e609c878 erased, and 4f36e22c80 only one 72d471eb5a word in 7d18bfc740 Korean remained. Friend.20565ff536666c5e

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“Can I use it until graduation and then give it back? My mom said she’ll buy me a phone when I go to college.”7390d6d785b23219

“Sure.”8622cd17e2af6f0f

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“Don’t call too often. Especially when you’re drunk.”06a48cda03b679b7

“Okay.”8815118c491571f3

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“And from now on, let’s ask each other before visiting. That was the most uncomfortable part. Now that things have turned out this way, let’s use the phone properly.”e43e632513d280c8

“Complicated…”aa0d6d69b129367d

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“Are you already annoyed?”2168ef07aac62752

When I 026e619c21 glared at 188f68ae3b him reproachfully, 5905a000a0 Kang Eui-tae 8384497855 immediately changed 156ecc255c his expression e0e7525e88 and slowly 3274951f4c shook his 8324a6273f head. The phone issue was bac8ca58b3 resolved surprisingly quickly. The next task 7ea7a28060 was inside the b088888182 phone. I took out the c14c26beda child I had hidden 7416d531cf deep in my pocket.163a601f51bf6382

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“Why on earth are you Kang Jang-mi? A smokescreen? Or is it some kind of operation name?”32f3538533520e60

“You said you liked roses.”aa0b14537219e568

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I thought the ‘Kang Jang-mi’ incident, which I had imagined all on my own, would end on such an anticlimactic note. But saying that my favorite flower was a rose felt somehow cowardly. Kang Eui-tae had revealed his loneliness to me and tied our ambiguous and complicated relationship to the perfectly wholesome concept of friendship. Perhaps it was because his words had resolved some of my worries. When I was in a good mood, I was talkative.e698a6456129804d

“Actually, there’s something else I really like.”c36080fb24c85a00

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“…Sunflowers?”a9ddb07f3311d983

“No.”35a7c6a8100a213f

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“Dandelions?”0e4bacb25a3ded0d

He didn’t even care that I was lying. The fact that he was trying to guess from the flowers he knew made him suddenly seem cute, and my heart was filled with generosity.f98692e79060fa9f

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“When I was little, it was Parents’ Day, so I saved up my allowance. I saved for three months to buy the biggest carnation pot from the flower shop downtown that I had my eye on. But I lost it at school. I must have bragged about it too much. Someone might have taken it, or I might have lost it. I was just so upset on the way home from school that I couldn’t move my feet.”a828a032fb17f542

It was definitely in my bag until the second period. I, who was maintaining the concept of a timid and kind class president, didn’t have the courage to confess to my homeroom teacher that I had lost the money. Why did I bring so much money and not take care of it? Afraid of the homeroom teacher’s scolding with a pointer, I lingered in front of the flower shop empty-handed on the way home from school. If I broke my piggy bank, I could buy about one flower. I was going to promise the owner that I would bring the money tomorrow and take just one flower.19b8cf65d780e192

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“Just one carnation…”5f6c7593cafab974

“Huh? Why just one? You said you were going to buy that flower basket and told me not to sell it.”a75814a1601b4b87

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The shame, embarrassment, and sorrow I felt at the time were as hot as covering myself with a blanket in the sweltering heat. I couldn’t say anything and just pouted my lips, shedding thick tears. Then, the owner’s hand with a bandage on it picked up the carnation flower basket and gave it to me, hesitating.730b458aee21b3d6

“I’ll give this to you as a gift because you always greet me so nicely. Take it carefully so you don’t lose it.”88c54c202ec4cee0

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Unexpected misfortune can also bring unexpected fortune. The feeling of holding a single carnation in my arms, the feeling of running home from school in May and opening the front door, the feeling of seeing my mom smiling happily and hugging me. To me, flowers symbolized celebration and happiness. Until the fourth grade of elementary school, I would buy snacks on the way home from school and stop by the flower shop. That’s where I learned. The names of the flowers, the flower language, the scent of the flowers, the excited expressions of the customers waiting for their wrapping. I used to say that I would become a flower shop owner when I grew up, with sparkling eyes.ee8fa5a66cc63c8e

“Orchids purify even the heart of the person who grows them. The flowers that bloom are so beautiful that happiness is doubled.”ce086b1cda4e59ca

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The delicate appearance and fragrance of the orchid that the owner showed me enriched my life even more. Isn’t that what an unforgettable memory is? A memory that suggests a direction in my life.5f53ac7df97109ff

“So, when I grow up, I really wanted to be a flower shop owner who grows a lot of orchids.”5554d7d1bccfbb07

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“You can do it.”eba5c66135ef7506

“My mom will hate it. So will my aunt. They told me never to do self-employment. They said it’ll ruin my health. Then I won’t be able to have pretty babies or meet a good husband.”a3cfee67c6c89fd9

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My mom and aunt’s repertoire was always similar, but the conclusion was one. To live the life of a rich housewife instead of suffering. If I just avoided what they told me not to do, I could get on a high-speed train and arrive at the finish line. I wondered if I had rattled on too much, saying this and that, and bit my lip with my front teeth. Kang Eui-tae, who had been listening like an enthusiastic listener, reached out his hand. I flinched, thinking he wanted to hold my hand, but he said confidently, “Phone,” making me feel like an idiot. Without thinking, I took out my phone and put it in his hand. As soon as he received my small, white phone, he quickly pressed the keys. In less than 10 seconds, the phone was returned to me, and the screen showed4f0e84c6a015e1ef

[Kang Nan-cho (Orchid)]

Instead of [Kang Jang-mi (Rose)].

Embarrassed to see me 8a8cc86466 snickering, Kang Eui-tae lowered 0c4773d3b5 his head and rubbed b7c4932653 the back of his 5a2f63b336 neck.e259dca82b17ab5b

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“Don’t think too much, live the way you want to. How long do you think you’ll live?”dc4751a808fded5e

Kang Eui-tae’s face, which had stretched his neck out and then lifted it up again as if stretching, looked peaceful for once. The moonlight gently wrapped around his fingertips as he closed his eyes, feeling the breeze.0a39111ac9c92d8c

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The carefree words of people who live without thinking. I couldn’t dismiss it as just a casual remark because his younger sibling had really left without living long. I couldn’t add a single word to his lesson, which he must have learned painfully.06dbceba0ad9380d

“What did you save me as? Kang Nan-cho’s brother?”26c2a7424fd486c2

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Kang Eui-tae just shrugged his shoulders and didn’t give any other answer. Probably just my full name, blandly. Suddenly, I laughed. It was a day when Kang Eui-tae’s thoughts and words made me laugh.d549af063f1042ec