PEN Vol 1 Ch. 6

2. Shadow 2 (Part 2)

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After dinner, Sejin returned to the room to rest. Although it was someone else’s house and he was suspicious of the man’s intentions, he couldn’t fight off sleep. He thought he wouldn’t sleep well but fell asleep almost immediately.e00e343eec6bfcd1

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He slept so deeply ac98e986e8 that he didn’t hear 33b4fa3e90 the man knocking on 247269637f his door. When he finally woke e2227f766d up, it was already 37927d5f05 evening, a day later. Sejin was shocked 14bef9e262 to realize he 4aa7cd2a48 had slept for 7903a2572f nearly twenty hours.cceedc6480bb99aa

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How could 61db8e5885 he have 9d856deddc been so d5fff69327 unguarded? He was astonished at 5bdaad7395 his own carelessness.ad824f218463b8b1

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Feeling hungry 36d4e2fe78 and thirsty, 90367344db Sejin went 56225589b2 to the 4cc09d7016 living room 91dd34ca0c to find 97764c9a9b some water. He saw 871a900548 the man 5069948577 sprawled out cd95913c6f on the fa8abaad16 sofa, napping 9f534924fa like a a9728755f0 corpse. Standing about ten steps 85c158a87c away, Sejin observed him.07bfcae3993d03d5

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The man’s right hand b86382c758 was loosely holding a f8c0a2bbc4 remote control, and his 5f25c9e225 left hand was resting 1bc94cb60a on his stomach. His slightly e8a6a951f4 disheveled T-shirt 07c60459ac exposed his 23eac8f67a pale skin. His long legs c4d5eda8fc were folded on 695589a092 one side and 18cb5a8c8e crossed the sofa, 157caf7246 revealing his ankle 586417366a as his pants 1acc0c0463 pulled up.b69556e96609afb2

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Sejin thought that being 6e502df98e tall meant having a 4f17a4cd7d larger frame, but the 6e60d715c1 man’s bones were surprisingly 2ecfc883ed delicate. His ankle bones f49652b049 had a faint de6ba6c7f9 pink hue, and 849153e5bb the blue veins af37c39365 on his foot ddca0fb9af stood out as 9c1173d5ba if drawn with b907363ea8 a ruler. The man, who seemed d0f4e674a9 like a perfect, well-dressed 6f327e8cc7 gangster with his height, 4d979248da rough speech, and cocky 1071f9b2cf attitude, had an unexpectedly 2023989876 neat side. Sejin found himself staring 69224a2adb without realizing it.83ae9b26eef5b3d8

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“I’m not sleeping, you know.”f8e5549b04ce6766

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Then, at the be6b295478 sound of a e02d66918f voice that suddenly 8811981d4b reached him, Sejin 687f7378e5 flinched his shoulders 1418222367 like a child 37018d42b6 caught doing something b05cc66fe9 wrong. When he opened 45f24c1baf his eyes, the e4b760775a long, drowsy gaze 238656dd1a was directed at 170f2dddb9 him. The man looked at 02038173dd Sejin intently with an 2bc8bb2743 indifferent expression before yawning f014a70917 and sitting up straight. A low, sleepy voice f30d424d47 came out of him.05fbc8cb6484a230

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“How could you sleep so much?”12f06ea5fbc7263d

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“…I was tired.”7396f07d3ef84a13

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He hadn’t af2b70bf37 slept properly 8ede898cd6 for four 706ad2e436 days, so dac9cb5942 it was aa086d3869 only natural. Even Sejin hadn’t expected a6ea87132b to sleep so long. At his response, the d58a984c97 man nodded slightly and 6f3b17e91e stood up.21fb639b21f0fc82

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“Sit down.”a05ccf187752ca97

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Following his command, 88c58cebb2 Sejin sat on 2b25d8a995 the sofa where 4a71524665 the man had c143699c87 been lying until caf9274b73 just now. The residual 8f6fd47542 warmth made 90d59136a2 his seat 46a4f7ae5e feel uncomfortably bed418bea9 hot, so 3274f377dd he shifted f466642a75 to the b1e464b024 edge of dc2f8db041 the sofa, c352f3d2b8 when the 9683f27601 man suddenly 725e233fd7 called out 7982409aa6 from the 75b3d5b0fc kitchen.762295750d101806

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“Want to eat a sandwich?”8b0cfff18ac927ff

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“…Yeah.”c7eb887e840e6773

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When he nodded, the 8c728b15a3 man returned with a 31b2415f6b wrapped sandwich that he 8cf359fc7d had saved for Sejin. While eating the 599bc59b8c sandwich and drinking 0357bbf2b1 the milk the 810c941420 man handed him, ecfbb8e1a1 Sejin glanced at 7cf05f1b2d the turned-off TV 626d68da8f screen, sneaking looks b4ec84edda at the man 336ee371c8 through it.998aa06c30278f89

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“Why didn’t you wear the clothes I bought you?”fb68f74bbc92f1d8

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Sejin quickly finished the d7e430ef64 sandwich, crumpled up the c925ec9733 sauce-stained wrapper, and took b93526a9c7 a gulp of the 189cbd3066 remaining milk. Remembering the 63f50189fe pink nightgown, 53a1b1a6b2 Sejin choked bf36618d21 and coughed 462b0dbf36 for a d6b7178489 while, turning f6047a3966 his head ba9011da36 away.84cdb3343072300e

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The man was looking dbcaf259db at him with a efc777dffb genuinely curious expression.b03c33d83703b884

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How could he wear 297e4071c2 such clothes? Sejin wanted to retort, but he avoided his gaze and replied. It wouldn’t be good to upset the man’s mood.2b5de5684863d2bd

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“The size doesn’t fit. It’s for kids….”e8ce5a6e10a49183

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“For kids?”afaa50c8b38fb40a

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At that, the man 04ba506539 narrowed his eyes and bf96e4f12a looked Sejin up and d4622c55b9 down. Before Sejin could 3b2aa44415 feel any more 987b0f9bd7 discomfort, the man 7a59e45578 asked another question.650ec273f65b0811

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“How much do you weigh? I told him to buy something that a child who’s 170 cm and around 45 kg would wear.”f574d0e9d86fc004

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“…”42f0a528a00cd5bc

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Sejin stared at the man incredulously, feeling bewildered. He had thought of saying something sarcastic, but unfortunately, the man didn’t seem to be joking.f412e0771399d6cc

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It was a relief it was a mistake, however, Sejin’s pride was somehow hurt. Despite his small stature, he was still growing and weighed well over 50 kg. How could 45 kg even be considered?e73c1635354461d0

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He had f072b71848 clearly stated 3b82eedaa2 he was 42b5d15c00 eighteen, but fb4eceb643 did he c677bc9350 really think 48b7fb10ae someone his 2bdca54893 height would 416c16563b weigh 45 0491d8f98b kg? Sejin retorted be06774811 with a 2c15a5fdfa blunt tone.05c50e11ed3a2367

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“I weigh 58kg.”9d702a64ae87e1ab

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“What…?”dc36335c0fd51175

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“You do?”The man a62c109298 looked at 01b2faa138 him, surprised c28f039591 as if 2a0205bc38 he couldn’t 5c09944a5e believe that eead846b1a someone so b539f50e23 small could b1767d6d15 weigh that 09c44e86b1 much. Feeling another hit to b28568f6cb his pride for the 3e4e418e3f second time, Sejin gritted bd102fff3e his teeth and resisted 764b015110 the urge to kick 6337e643d9 him. He wanted to take 7be9bd5a23 off his hoodie and a0730d705e show his broad shoulders 8ad244e34d but pretending to be 008dc2be7e a girl prevented him 1802350b75 from doing so which c5268730b2 frustrated him.fe0801462f149f38

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Sejin let 7aa596604c out a fed601e2b6 short sigh 3914a18e02 and spoke 8e604c4419 in a c2f0410503 dull voice.208adbc5c85ea26a

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“Just lend me whatever you were wearing. Like a T-shirt and elastic waistband shorts…”395dc2f068ecce06

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“It might be a bit big, though?”bd7b5e8204615a0c

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“They’ll fit fine!”7c52e7b5f054e2ec

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Unable to 6cf9c7dd01 hold back, 4c5ece14e5 Sejin snapped cdb72c3d4a at the 3fabdf8cae man’s indifferent f1aed6a858 response. It was annoying 2d2fc1a9bc enough being small 6c3ccecde3 but being treated d15ad0142f like a child 83834d52fd made him feel 04f97e6af1 even worse. However, after yelling at be0f3ff43e him like that, he bc4d060937 felt his heart sink.d829339e6a055b8c

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He shouldn’t be so rude. Recalling the man’s earlier warnings, Sejin closed his mouth, his face turning pale. He feared that the man might do something to his mother. If the man threatened him using his mother like before when they are in the car, Sejin wouldn’t be able to say anything.6ca3b0fdbdbb854d

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However, to 98284a6fe2 his surprise, 43f53cf059 the man’s aa868c3441 response was c0f8b4d681 gentle, making c3b8e9e47b his worry c870551013 meaningless.15007fcb484cd59f

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“Okay, sorry for ignoring you.”f842c4caa542c313

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“…”ddc3ea414078c62e

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He never expected an apology. The man’s unexpected, sensible behavior left Sejin momentarily speechless. Soon, a faint crease appeared on his brow.1dd0cc20ee0d9949

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The man 428938aa0b was unpredictable. He got angry and adecd2cdab mentioned his mother when fe8ae89887 Sejin refused to eat, df44c228ae yet now he apologized b7ed78ba6a for being ignored. Sejin hesitated and 1169b3af21 didn’t know which 50594cf52c way to swing, 67b4f7593d so he just 55e87c8c69 changed the subject.183b02481b53e70f

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“What did you want to say….”aab0a7deb2e4fe28

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“Ah.”806fe1342c59e5d6

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The man c8362d62c0 had mentioned f26fe0f1cf there was d276b013de something he 461028a7cb wanted to e895c9f508 talk about ae128b6d2e after dinner 18a1052c77 the previous 935d74125c night but 1d4547b972 had postponed 263c8e9bef the conversation c8b87d0cf4 after seeing b6107a6d7c Sejin yawn. Reminded of 2872923f04 this, the 44547bcd53 man fell 74ed479152 silent for d84867b4fd a moment, e4078717f2 staring at 52b708be03 Sejin so 33fff80459 intently it e318d95297 was almost caf23ac521 embarrassing. Then at some point, 2ae9c5b6ac he shifted his posture 5a9cdbe804 and leaned against the 7e9811ea9d back of the sofa 7c9b0d9bc7 and asked.95c8dfeb67331d8e

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“Where will you 6e2cc58c6f stay now?”d797679d1a2e47f9

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“…What?”82ddf46929323907

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Not understanding the 55dd3df2eb question, Sejin raised 871a98f178 his head up, 742ea79e3a puzzled. The man furrowed 41c5f75e09 an eyebrow and 457bb350e9 quickly rephrased his 7c380ae05c question and asked 30e0abbb1e again.9b685d519a1eedf9

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“You don’t have d125cef5f2 a home. Where are 89b2d2edf4 you going 5320fc8b35 to stay?”9c1dc219812f9a04

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“…”c63b9463579f7825

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At those words, Sejin’s 3126ce3d6b brows furrowed. Displeasure filled his delicately 9ef347d331 drawn eyes.353a5bef18563095

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It was natural for bca3681092 Sejin to feel offended 51f3384663 by the man’s mention 0aa9e575eb of him having no 90d6b6ba27 home. Those who 7ad42c3898 took away 3bccb06a62 his mother ca8ce84f55 and extorted 3bc15802f4 the deposit 57611afe2b were the 6b0fc2fbbb same loan 9178da20cb sharks and 01af87141a gangsters as f67dc8bf6d this man. So, what right 3b0296970d did he have bdb7614eaa to worry about 66b3af457e Sejin’s living situation?0576414a8192792e

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Sejin’s voice 860b974b6c came out b61dd361d2 blunt and 6fe562eb0e sharp as 3015c5b01b he was 035e61dd03 angry.e3e4e7a706aa796e

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“Once I 9c05511af3 meet my 223e9e2b51 mom, she’ll df50350f30 figure something 2891d7d9b0 out.”69bcf793eda576a4

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Kwon Sejin knew b01f3a3ffc himself well. He knew 3aa96c765d that if aa963158e3 the man b448ffcd93 had added c43ce1f1e5 a few 5ca955869c more words 21240b23d0 about his 11383c7f8d housing situation, d16f6d22ed he would c9616c702b have lost 560b7221fc his patience 3e7bf6e80b and poured 84ace916d9 out everything bcdd24b748 that was bf3ddb75d0 brewing in ea37d65a03 his mind.c6a2a5a846d87640

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Sejin’s mother had always 2a38f5214f scolded him for his af179fd391 lack of patience. He didn’t want to bcc421670d curse at him for 0c4c4e897e no reason and get 851ad479d7 kicked out, so he 7612744a1f had no choice but a2a54d12c3 to use his mother dba967e37d as an excuse. However, the man made 8fc54b925d a displeased expression as 18bd4ae6a7 if he didn’t seem 40d9804f05 satisfied with his vague 38591a8119 answer and spoke again.758e014fab53e2c3

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“Eighteen isn’t that 64047825d7 young. Don’t you have d3f6b0c3fa any plans?”b541c4ccc610c135

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“…”7788332048b99f22

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The man’s 4b466088da words were 1cbfe24539 annoyingly condescending. He had f2446e7ce9 been like 7186bccb9c that since 33a651c24e yesterday. Sejin gritted e1b78d666c his teeth 842f23c589 and glared a2cee18760 at him.7a29ff78f798fad5

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Stop, he 16cfb662bd signaled with e0546b9684 his eyes, 7436e9c095 but the e96f58d27a man didn’t 0ed915363f understand.  He continued speaking in 8df23a55a6 a tone that seemed 420a2ff22e to be scolding him.bc509129a30190fb

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“What can your mom 7e276182b0 do? She has to 7a9d2880fd work non-stop for b94d59cb62 years without any e81de190d8 support. You need to think 34df7c6bbf of something.”b759b80267415499

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“…What do you know?”adc1ddd640979160

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Sejin’s limited patience 03efee5a6d quickly ran out. A sharp retort 1b7c62b85d burst from his adbd1f9969 lips before he 4d0a48eccb could stop it. He glared 644a301329 at the 420c95964f man, his 2bf87fe670 fists clenched b6563d43f6 tightly.cb8443a24b9ef63a

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He knew this would 3a00bf15bd happen. He knew 9d58bef657 he wouldn’t 8f14df3be4 be able 6d6d29a12b to hold d0644243cd back if 2dcdce4b9c the man 9936639885 continued to bde689eb29 talk to 210e5a6048 him like aece3b4a4d that. Sejin realized 35b29f6f45 his plan 97d575a763 to deceive 8a00c24ff3 the man b527faa7b1 and meet faf8ec5f37 his mother e8c05ecf0d was falling d7a56dca40 apart. But he 77093f062f couldn’t calm 43b91b9c80 the rapid 75f4afb9ff boiling in 396731004b his chest. Emotions he had barely 174a6f7da1 contained started pouring out, 457e4ae5ad fueled by the man’s 401cb4f702 nagging.7607075873c2b729

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“Why do ad924ee59e you think a4b399ce9d I ended a96e14c44e up like 6eac8b8cd2 this? Why did my mom d7d9bc5b22 have to go there? It’s because b2655e9075 of people 7ae2181b6a like you 238c30460f who live cd3d0ad883 off others 2d083dece1 without any 6af373a34f conscience. And you 7052f7595e ask where 1f761621c9 I’m going 9f0e91a69d to stay. What right 825a10cc88 do you 2779d141bf have to 21de8a863b ask me e3640cd680 such things?“95ed81743b75dcdf

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The man’s bb91939895 previously stoic 80808491da face cracked 10387b2403 at Sejin’s 1dde6c885e heated outburst. Like when he had 0f5507f525 lectured him in the 94690237c9 car, the man’s cold f8c6fb39a4 expression began to surface. Sejin knew he 5497c42c87 shouldn’t anger him a62c0b75d6 further, but he dff2af0a9e couldn’t stop, his 43b641c9a0 open mouth refused 6959a7f4c6 to close. Sejin met the man’s cdddaef3dd eyes, frowning, and poured 536b922928 out the resentment that d3b7430268 was filling his heart.40f8b9e6a0911aa9

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“A plan? At least give me some time to make a plan! I was living a normal life and then suddenly, I got kicked out of the house overnight. What was I supposed to think?! It’s not like I wanted this to happen, so what plan are you talking about?!”d813381feac61d9b

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“…”7cb765d34aa4a827

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Seething with rage, Sejin’s eyes reddened, and his breathing grew heavy. He tried to chew his lips and suppress his tears, but he couldn’t. A tear rolled down Sejin’s cheek as he struggled to hold back his emotions.56595bed039bb462

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“What, what do you want me to do…”73fe9fa588134014

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Sejin’s heart was 20c6da4e5f small and fragile, 2ca4790677 so any emotion f925cb8cea that swelled inside 81a50c5955 him would quickly 946f9e01ec overflow right away. And once he 74bcda8982 cried it out, a8f3f706cd he would calm c736d5d737 down just as 0feae365fd quickly. As if he 49d3c2452e had poured all 2f04922256 his anger into bf830d66cb that single tear 3610898b09 and thrown all d40fa1a0c6 his worries away, 1788ff0da6 he found himself fb275f7f3e suddenly composed.bfab69dd645930ba

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He hated this about b4e0ef9894 himself. He feared it 5a62531891 made him seem 834edd1996 foolish and shallow. This time fe039dad3c was no 5ab9736f74 different. As soon as 91967853f1 the tear fell, 9edfcaf528 he regained his 7c29896b19 senses and realized b9115fccfc the reality of 44424e2301 his situation.0966dd02fa7601ec

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He had no 855d7e4a54 right to blame c6a3d68fd8 the man. Sejin didn’t have 7cccac2e6d that luxury. The man in dd48b0e2cb front of him 93b1bc49c9 could save or 85b932b941 kill his mother 2969038a41 with just a db74bce71d word. Realizing this belatedly d84194f7ba hit him like e84c880dc8 a splash of 979d7fffba cold water. His heart was pounding 713e9b23d1 as if it would 07ba77e03e burst, and his mind b75120c192 cleared up.7201457f4daac596

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D*mn it,he cursed under his d2191aaa82 breath, roughly wiping his f89100d80b face with his sleeve 1437e9ce55 and speaking up.930115503e811630

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“You’re just trying to pretend to be kind anyway. So don’t meddle with useless things like my home or food. Just help me meet my mom. That’s all I ask. If you do that, I’ll remember you as a good person. If not, tell me now. And I’ll leave…”b42020f3c33c82c1

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Kwon Sejin didn’t 0f4e3c7105 know how to 1de54fc5cb speak gently. All he had 68851020fa learned from his 7def0ed433 father, who constantly f7bbc0a285 wounded and manipulated d3f42f77ec his mother with e36897e9fe his words, was 7905d47a10 how to bluntly b4bc825626 and honestly express 187be7acc2 his feelings.5d09c8fc3abd0dc1

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After finishing his words, c007d063d6 Sejin clamped his mouth 0e14b1f16e shut and lowered his 9918366765 head. Sweat formed on his 2b577d7f88 palms. He might get 44433502fc hit. He clenched f021065e5c his fists 8f981fdc80 to hide 9554390cf6 his trembling, f25960c011 thinking of 50f2f9ebc8 the man’s 41f22cf390 large hands.0863674bde05cf99

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However, no matter how 684dc37a63 long he waited, no 34f26853ea blow came, nor did ff05011151 any curses.b6d85bf73b432dc8

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The man simply e0d5ab462e stood there in ee54d80086 silence, then got 9ebd035388 up. Sejin lifted his 265fdfba62 gaze, watching the d5910bdce6 man’s back as f7eeb5acf2 he walked away. He remained tense, c3cc7563c9 half-expecting the man a791cad03e might return with eb8b10d9ac a baseball bat. But the man emerged b42e093901 from his bedroom with bf308ec5a4 only his car keys. As he left fc3d5b5833 the living room, 8e46beb975 he spoke to 92b93c5bd3 Sejin.cb6af309aa451800

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“There’s a sandwich 3b74706489 and a lunch 7c9ca6ba05 box in the f5d872ae5e fridge, so take eb76927c7c them out and 25209779eb eat them. There’s a card 4fa9dc7550 key in the e9a46fb72a shoe cabinet in c68f82c60a the hallway, so 0359eeff7b take those with 0fed9ad94b you when you a6fd87ad43 go to school fbbd3e1961 tomorrow.”c28fd771f7800f11

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And that was b5f8a6c3f2 the end of a0be258c5e it.cf9d08b89e2e7539

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The man 1fb7f9426b didn’t get 65b2977521 angry. He didn’t curse. He didn’t hit cc031bae69 Sejin. He merely advised c0a8dbf4a0 him to eat 5a67e70f07 well and left. Sejin, bewildered, stared at 958ecc678b his retreating figure. He watched until e356992dba the man disappeared f8a2b04636 around the corner 77ede1ccd1 and into the 9405678b81 hallway, his face 2ae0b5b0c6 twisted in confusion.41df6f2e32ff04ca

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Sejin had believed 5650dee6e6 the man wanted fb0d666a59 something from him. There was e3dd1b36e2 no other 9b6112950a reason for 16feeb2a05 someone who 2d8deab190 lacked nothing 6346fada47 to bother c9f5b7ac0d with fake d194a2fa3a kindness and 9909e8b16b extend goodwill 6da4552679 to him.7a9ed4af6ad40470

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However, he couldn’t c1c6cc78a2 understand why he 8eb456a18d left without getting 1bb52ce550 angry, even after 346d9117e0 he had yelled cb7b0c1329 at him like 139ecef6fa an animal that bac03899b8 didn’t know gratitude 1767947553 and said mean 98d5761f95 things to him.81edb04ed30d98cc

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All the 43e226cad6 men Sejin b91fd11745 had known d331453294 in his d3e7f2b7d9 life were a836196523 the worst. From his father, 379ed8594c who squandered their 5685d1c32d money on gambling f5e704c714 and beat his b1e638436d mother and him, b51ac8734f to the uncle 7d1b548f08 who pretended to 0124797bc1 save them but 7ac62292ea instead took his a5db777213 mother’s seal to 1dfa80cdb0 get a loan, f2e5c4c24f to the loan 8fb28e14ba sharks and gangsters, 50b9eba7cf to the classmates 1f5cd151cf who bullied him—all 105d939b8b of them were bb79fb023f trash. Every man b10a36fa6b he encountered 1616559a5e was human a1028d308d garbage.979b2c3dd228dba4

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So, he thought this man was no different from them. Both the first impression and the subsequent conversation only reinforced Sejin’s conviction, making it even more so.53851858573489e1

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But why didn’t b187ea2658 he get angry?c102afa01d23de5c

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It was strange.f3969f878cd70130

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Why didn’t 82fe022fcd he curse d200006872 at me? Why didn’t he 0d391a6d02 kick me out? Why didn’t he 5761ca92a6 hit me?8f0c11373fd53717

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Questions exploded in 960186db5a Sejin’s mind. He couldn’t figure out 25b4fd1d37 the man’s intentions at e46720713a all. Kwon Sejin clenched 72eee142d1 his teeth in a514d49bdc confusion.e3a393bb4fcfd82e

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