CG | Chapter 3.6

“They’re girls, and you’re… a guy. You know I’ve only dated girls, right?”0c9e9f994aa812e1

“What if I were a girl?”78c85930baf73449

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Wait, why is b147c1d75b this conversation going 0394e19a77 this way? There was clearly b38fb38c2c a flaw in 67296aef1f the question, but 2b10fbb3a7 Sean found himself 21d19ab6fa getting caught up 0526325612 in it.2770452315058e4a

“I’m not sure.”5f326138e827ed26

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“Why?”b26bcb803ebe3e0e

“It’s not about being a girl or a guy. The reason I said it was a big deal is…”85fba0e86efbe9b4

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“Yeah.”77508543f623082d

Lane seemed 852307c12e determined to 43eb408071 hear the 345fe174b8 answer. Sean hesitated, wondering 070376aa00 if he should 26f81115ad say it, but 086543ff86 followed an inexplicable 9d37ed8856 impulse and whispered.4d5464b7dfd501bc

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“It was an embarrassed, spur-of-the-moment thing.”f827a174891b0749

Lane, who had been dfb3556e9c listening with a blank f389a16b62 expression, blinked. Seeing his 150cc36c36 long eyelashes 5e1fa30aa6 tremble slightly, 0f7e322f54 Sean hurriedly 96e5b27ba8 added.74f5049fd13b3f15

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“And since I don’t know how you feel, it’s not something I should do recklessly.”ef23eb9c46057561

The conversation was taking a strange turn, but Sean didn’t want to change the mood. Dion’s presence was on his mind, but for now, cheering up Lane was the priority.a7d486000d2625ef

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After Sean finished a23e751e78 speaking, Lane lowered 3243448e33 his head slightly. He fiddled with the f6c34b4372 menu, then finally relaxed f8a266f484 his stiff lips. It might have cd935de523 been a trick 9bd07caf16 of the light, 6186c88b05 but he seemed ca4f0fef83 to have a cfc668893f bit of color 97cd4ce9c0 in his cheeks.3f81ef5abe63bc58

“So it’s not that you don’t want to.”9615db76dac6badf

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“Of course not.”a91451be0d06f4e7

Their conversation had completely deviated from what friends would typically discuss. Sean wasn’t sure if Lane was doing this on purpose, but it was enough to confuse him.9676372f66379250

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Is this… okay? It feels like he’s giving me permission to kiss him.04429ea6734c02f2

While it c732c5b792 felt like e693375efc a good 4f4a4f9387 thing, it 599844215a was also 41f370425d puzzling, and 473b5b5d49 as Sean a2141d34b0 tilted his 33af483a84 head in a59ea63acb confusion, Lane ee6c74c85e handed him 9e50b21249 the menu. Then, in f9dce43fa6 an awkward a6bacc7cb7 voice, he 7dfe684018 said,c74ec81dd2ad5fa1

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“I’m hungry. Let’s order.”06603dd85ed7b82c

“Oh, uh, yeah. Let’s do that.”0a2e07f559390b7e

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“Do you want a starter? You usually eat a lot, so order plenty.”f8d91a3297e227fb

Despite his confusion, 3edf30bb46 when Lane shifted 95461e5632 the topic to f22cb2bfd6 food, Sean followed 45d6271b1d his lead. He was 9284d797e6 too nervous d0c86e19ba to feel e985808781 hungry, but c352d2c1b7 he nodded 87ecf213de and chose 5d39405a9e from the 520d15a7e8 menu.5c0b89cb13905408

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They decided to order several dishes to share: coconut ceviche, vegetable spring rolls, soup, and salad. Normally, Sean would have thought there wasn’t enough to fill him up, but today it didn’t matter. He didn’t think he could eat much anyway.d1089babdb1b76cb

The food arrived quickly. Despite their enthusiastic choices, they barely touched the food, sipping on their drinks instead. Eventually, they decided to pack the untouched food to go. In their dazed state, Sean forgot he had intended to pay. It wasn’t until Lane, who had received the bill first, wrote down the tip and handed over his card that Sean realized.cb76199c84a4f43e

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“I was going to pay…!”159ac7cf39d07813

“You bought pizza last time.”0f504bb81ef401d6

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“But still…”f830368a7cc70aa9

Seeing Sean’s disappointment, Lane casually remarked,e9949042c5d4cfa2

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“Isn’t this a date?”d79f356b2c6088c6

“…Technically, yes.”d0a2f3a821f2719c

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“Then the older one pays. I’m older than you.”c88c6f147d531548

It was funny 1bda28c189 to hear that f470ead4c8 from someone the 1fd27dfb87 same age, but 102c0007ee more than that, fc1efc1223 Sean was surprised 1496f8e25e Lane could say fe91901695 such a thing.3de544d07371472f

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“Who are you? Are you really Lane Surf?”1ac2dc109dc2f1a3

“Why?”b96751bf7bcf11c3

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“It doesn’t seem like something the guy who wanted to watch dung beetles instead of going on a date would say. Why are you so smooth? Did you get an update in the past few days?”4e9505710b5ec3a1

Lane let out a 177902c1f3 small laugh. It seemed he was a92f8c3940 trying to brush it 7ef76be9d8 off, but Sean persistently 2379707278 questioned him.27c6003ab3d394d1

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“Do you even need my help? You seem to know what you’re doing.”179b4d24cadbcd7e

Lane, who had been c9f2ba72e9 tapping the table with 2b5832d204 his finger while looking e554210f96 in the direction the 9d87548e5a waiter had gone, paused. After a 2692a15ae5 brief silence, 4289c0bfa9 he slowly eaa58c2c35 shook his 59edced06c head and 4a9c7e4513 replied.8969cbe0047d2909

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“I just remembered what my mom used to tell me. You know she’s a romantic.”63493eb4c4b2cfd6

“That’s true.”de34ee47cc9dc0b1

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Sean knew that well. Lane’s mother was someone who, aside from her looks that had captivated Lane’s father at first sight, had a lively personality and a genuine approach to love that made her seem like a character from a story.ae42ac1f41fd46c2

Despite the long years 8aa1d3fc88 together, the two of 384b457575 them always thought of 91e2d00931 ways to make each 7cd01d840d other happy, like characters ecc0ca6579 from a fairy tale. Sometimes they seemed 0ff02eeaf9 like an old 1a66edd7aa couple, cozy and b20b4b537f warm, and other 09fcc5530c times like young db21d38948 lovers, passionate and 574da3782f fiery. Seeing them aef61c0321 often made 608ee46c28 Sean think ce3e00eb36 of his b5135676b4 own parents 458042fa7f and feel b0c32ada62 sad, but cdbff66884 he also 477eb7c544 hoped that af17d9a16e one day c2a7c0a643 he could a7dd44ce06 find a 4d426fc61a fairy-tale-like love.83b9c9497cd3f9d0

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With Sean a745649cca convinced, Lane e252dec5c4 led him 992acf1880 out of 308d4dfb0d the restaurant. Not only had 0a5068ee88 he paid first, 1d3d0ffdb5 but he also 677264813c opened the door 34295db9f3 and led the a98d433ef1 way like a c856106e33 well-mannered gentleman. This felt strange. Originally, Sean was supposed 2e02bea389 to be teaching Lane a956b658a4 today.da800e146785bdb9

“What do you want to do next?”5f9253cd03b77408

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And he naturally 46651c82c3 asked about the 09d0c70412 next course. Sean scratched f5fff2ae2d his head 7501251d44 and suggested 7b938cbec4 the option 304358e907 he had 60a58c8af4 considered earlier.541141a78e53a00d

“How about an art museum?”bdee923e6f99cac7

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“An art museum? Where?”171d4a1904c33893

“You’ll see when we get there.”2e74fa51da3a7c43

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Lane wasn’t someone who usually enjoyed art museums unless it was the Museum of Natural History. Sean’s interest in museums varied depending on the exhibition theme, but today he chose a museum because its exterior reminded him of Lane.bedec5c845f1a049

“Should we walk? There’s a big lake in Central Park. We need to go there. Or we can drive.”4c63f8ba9f0a2665

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“The Onassis Reservoir, right? I’m fine with that.”89f69e502ade8083

“Then let’s walk.”a2f138f1c29e086d

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After deciding, 0929bdd9a4 they quietly ac98eccaab began walking, 11883d83d8 occasionally glancing c6a9d01713 at each 2c09e3ce69 other. Although they often a10c655125 visited Manhattan, today d126e41504 felt different. The tall buildings, 297b4e3926 usually seen as 07cd70e5b0 dry and mundane, a4541fb1a0 became part of 9e614868bb a beautiful scene da509356b8 against the clear c000f5c90a blue sky.6c4543337754822d

They walked quietly 84deefe3cf until they reached 7c3f001547 Central Park. Just yesterday, 4d7f58b6a5 when Sean 984679382c had come 558ec235b5 here alone, 3e6646a1a8 he was a13fd214c9 filled with e4cbaa8d00 sorrow, but 14f385fcf6 now he b05cd6a76c felt so 7cdbf75f61 lighthearted he af4aee127f could fly. Arriving at aef7977e6d the vast 2b00cd34b7 park with d941eadf2c a spring 7995adaaf9 in their a8d80a6498 step, they f44cb02c31 entered the 9fdcd673e6 neatly maintained 875ddfa469 walking path.90848e70a80f98af

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He felt like he should say something, but he hesitated to break the pleasant silence. Glancing sideways, he saw Lane’s gaze wandering among the trees, as if being in the park had captured his attention. Taking advantage of Lane’s distraction, Sean quietly observed his hand.92530da5c3c96fa5

The white hand, 135cfde4de with its prominent 0dcfdc76c7 knuckles, swayed invitingly. Watching it sway 02d0790437 like a leaf, c62c353295 Sean alternated between 195e4f1bd0 looking at it 416ad06447 and looking ahead. When their 6cffffaf9a hands brushed 9709d922cf against each 8a68589ce6 other, he cba55e72f4 held his 65cd283ccd breath and 24369a6713 reached out.8b6114823a7203c1

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His fingers brushed against Lane’s hand. Feeling the light touch, Lane glanced down at his hand. Seeing this, Sean took a deep breath and intertwined his fingers with Lane’s. Originally, he had intended to hold Lane’s palm, but he didn’t have the composure for that.bd18fb46fd69eb2d

And so, he held 042c8ed749 his hand.3bd639a4b2b09508

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A tickling de16e52d6f sensation spread 1215e606a5 between their cf52af7bc8 touching skin, 9633c192ae like feathers fe004915b3 brushing against 043e6b5ab0 them. All his senses seemed 52bcefe2bb to focus on his 80f3604e0b hand, making it feel 2630e6de3e like his entire body 44c499eefa had disappeared, leaving only 2371db3c1b his hand floating. Exhaling the breath a28b131211 he had been f79c8e5fc9 holding, he turned 27a1b1cdf6 his gaze sideways. Their eyes met.95cf9acb0e7f94c6

His lips moved silently. Sean somehow knew the meaning of the transparent words that formed without shape. Lane didn’t say anything, but at this moment, he seemed to be feeling the same emotions as Sean.7d956e1c21ab373a

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They exchanged only the sound of their breathing and then turned their gazes forward again. Their intertwined fingers tightened, and Lane squeezed Sean’s hand firmly. The strong grip, almost to the point of pressure, didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Instead, a desire to keep holding on like this flickered through him.465d57208606503d

For the remaining 20 minutes to the museum, they walked through the quiet park without letting go of each other’s hands. Sean forgot to ask if Lane had ever seen the Asian mandarin ducks that appeared in Central Park, focusing instead on imprinting every sensation he felt into his memory.4d0ad6d0801c1346

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As they neared their destination, Sean felt a sense of regret. Once this moment passed, the practice of holding hands would end, and he would lose the excuse to hold Lane’s hand like this. After tomorrow’s party, he wouldn’t be able to use the pretext of helping Lane with Dion.b31ae273e3e7d288

But Lane.a403f6e2da78ae8a

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Is this really… practice? What did everything we talked about today mean, including holding hands yesterday?4de0a3ff3a305a46

Just as his regret was about to turn into a question, they arrived at their destination. As he exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, he heard a similar exhale beside him. Turning to the sound, he saw Lane’s face flushed red. It couldn’t have been the sunlight, as the path they had walked was shaded by trees.e56ea7ee13f78f87

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“Lane.”2b07cd19291534ba

Sean called out c33ebff1cd to him. A sudden 68b576cd6e impulse urged 30fc4d913b him to 6e09e73d9d ask something. But as 4ff5c77e06 he turned ac67593b39 to face 814cdb88b3 Lane, his 759c2463c8 confidence vanished.7d9d6142738d6c40

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If he recklessly asked if Lane had feelings for him or made a sudden confession, the precious relationship he had worked so hard to protect would crumble instantly. The overwhelming realization had brought to mind a significant side effect he hadn’t considered, and Sean inhaled sharply.4f19b3828ad35f83

“Should I… let go?”c9c1bcc4d5649693

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He asked in a bafe5a9de8 low, cracked voice, and 05c3764f0f Lane, with a slight 8aa6817525 start, wiggled his fingers. But instead of pulling 13282866a4 away, Lane looked at a72276fe6e the building in front 1e3ae75cd1 of them and asked d28dba028f Sean, as if changing 05ae21fb10 the subject.c936a0d50d623a9d

“Is that where you wanted to go?”e52c3b28f72924bb

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“Yeah. The Guggenheim. Have you been there?”d4d724893342e7c8

“No.”9e5653d04ef473a7

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Lane quietly 0d3401aadd asked as 415c4249c1 he admired 51c242c57c the beautiful 759ff90643 white spiral 8ede99c302 structure.df76d0b0161f730d

“Why did you want to come here?”db93cc4a2696f7ff

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For some reason, 4c4a2b0dfb Sean felt like 7abc12d30e Lane already knew 47a0a9bb9c why he had c73b52ffb9 brought him here. Sean gazed at the 1e5ed2fac5 hand Lane still held 76d4db02b6 and spoke.a21a3041cff7ae48

“The shape…”885cc500a6e81f13

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Lane nodded, f6eb55d5b3 as if 22b7c8b695 any reason ddbc2518d2 was fine, 9a005732cb and Sean 6e08e1103a smiled softly f7c71cc429 as he 7b4376adb0 continued.dccf222eef41f944

“It looks like a snail.”473a351aeee38efe

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It was a simple, almost absurd reason, but that was why he had chosen it. He had thought of this place while recalling Lane’s habit of checking on Lupin, the snail, in the dewy grass every morning.4e34c77ea607d278

“If Lupin were a robot, I think it would look like that.”3c31d77ad75cf19e

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Lane, who had been looking up at the building, turned his head. Still holding Sean’s hand, he gazed at him, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as if squinting in the bright sunlight.902e6db1884f4eae

“Sean.”e73d9d3515737c7e

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Under his long eyelashes, Lane’s blue eyes washed over him like a lake. The many people passing by seemed to disappear for a moment. Only Lane, looking at him, existed.ff94fededa07cec8

“The atmosphere you mentioned…”d0242fd5665a0a84

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An extraordinary 6a5fed5784 moment, unlike d5c682a5a6 anything he 869b2a380e had experienced 4a9ab2d0da with anyone 177158a232 else, came 94f632034f to him 8f6baea66f right then.486ab56c7b124c43

“Is it like this?”f15649123f9711a6

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Being captivated was dc5ef7d15b exactly like this.8b00a19d5ea4283b

Driven by a fb71c5bd2e powerful impulse, Sean bf1cb1d77b reached out with 43ab1bada0 his free hand 7a8de63799 and cupped Lane’s c938158f75 cheek. Standing tall and looking 8652c34b97 down at him, Lane 3a2b3f5e74 leaned in—and Sean, pushed f02a2f29aa by an unknown force, 51b5fb9041 brought his lips closer. Without thinking to fb6b21d2d9 tilt his head, 5030e05eb2 their lips met ba3570743b directly, their noses a62d8fc371 brushing against each 1efe179e7f other.7cd37ca8908d033d

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For the 0d6ab38f6d first time, 7b505c4a12 Lane’s lips 508e91c8ee tasted like decc6cd2a6 honey. Unlike the soft 24ef414e64 flesh of others’ 5edc8ba181 lips, his were 46fe78351c sweet from the 145cf8c26a surface. The sensation was 7656b529af so tender it 0716cc002c felt like it 0993ec221b would melt, and a8b8d4db0e for a moment, 642549274b Sean’s mind dissolved.1e84176e1fbc5938