5. Graduation Ceremony

<Lee Sa-eon>

The weather in Korea, ce81ae101d which always turns eerily 042f429b5d cold on the day 7cbc832723 of the college entrance 1c3b4a3142 exam, was no different d2891b352b this year. Even before the possession, 6d3bfa2d62 I remembered the CSAT fd550fc40a day being unbearably cold—and 649b0411a9 today was just the 7bc15cc9f5 same.9f5424e9917aea1b

The other four were assigned 0a961317ff to the same test center, 6e2aaa6fc1 but I was placed elsewhere. So when the ae7484c83f exam ended, I e16b4c2bdf walked out of 73e1d97b31 the building alone.c7e96b4f6365d18e

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I stopped momentarily, 056f76c99c watching what looked 5526a27ab4 like the families f91e6d922b of other test-takers. I was just tightening fef196c7df the loosely wrapped scarf eb6c2b5b99 around my neck when ad2fd30529 someone called my name 983ede42f0 from a short distance e037165fd3 away.df9c784acd67bebd

My parents weren’t 2a651e59d0 the type to b02c8ad628 come to the 3722ee8a25 test center, and d952ae9cbd Jin-joo Auntie had dd8d19eef5 gone to pick 9eee177213 up the others. No matter how I 56b109dd2d thought about it, no 41731cc309 one would come for 4c309d216f me—so I looked up 33e647ccc7 in surprise.0d0602800e8cd8a5

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When I turned toward 1f106bf8f4 the sound, I saw eb57abbef7 Yeon-joo Auntie, who had 5cd6b53cf8 been dating Jin-joo Auntie edb7d7c0d8 for seven years now, cde0599af7 waving her hand gently.4e5a5670be09cefb

I hadn’t expected anyone e845d26d50 to come pick me 07145fbb78 up, so I just f636689bd4 stood there frozen with 36b9bf0c2b wide eyes. Seeing my strange reaction, 993f576ca2 she tilted her head bbcef4c1e3 slightly, then walked toward 0e4dfde32a me at a relaxed 092fb8e322 pace. As she came closer, that df4124c91c familiar, sharp, aromatic scent of dd3ffb88b2 hers filled the air.8d410ed6738d62b3

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“Called you—why are you just standing here?”2a59571037d3ddc7

“…Ah, I was just surprised. I didn’t think 07c5962062 you’d come to 687726c269 pick me up.”6036fdff33a1cb84

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I mumbled after a a5319d02bd short hesitation, and Yeon-joo c6375834e8 Auntie lightly patted my b8df2500d6 head. Then, withdrawing her hand, she 81b67e145b rolled one of her earrings 9a149f158e between her fingers and chuckled.c8b7cf9ef5b0d08f

“Jin-joo said she had to pick up the others and that stopping by here before going to you would take too long, so she asked me if I could come get you instead. Well, I did have e70d16b70c a few appointments today, 58ec4019e2 but you’re more important, 2993563a91 so I pushed them c4cc830479 back.”59e6c5ff2096652c

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She gave a 2d74517cf0 casual shrug and 3239aa7ef8 gently grabbed my 1f629e5903 hand. Her warm hand, so 33368ce7a5 unlike the cold weather, bc92cbfd59 made me blink. She glanced at me 58f430f618 and smiled.4eb8e48b4e26b999

“I had a hot pack in my hand. Warm, right?”609f20d634c1f78c

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“Yes.”938b78099256401c

“Hm, did the test go well?”d9bed12bf2558f53

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“Isn’t that like a forbidden question to ask someone who just walked out of the exam room?”cc48b83ddbe6aed3

“What forbidden? The kids are 073d0d697e just dramatic about 2cc025cdc3 it so we d42678009c stay quiet, but 4a3f793a58 it’s not like 3f325c792e they don’t know. You’re already set f8c2c3f893 to study abroad, 2e2bbb2acc and you only 80fd6a9105 took the test d51e77c054 because your friends 1425e85208 were doing it, b86a1c2553 so it’s not b0fed5c923 like it matters a98a75824e to you.”8083b65b14d0250b

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She wasn’t wrong, so d7b3cf9b5d I just gave an 6d695118c1 awkward smile. She glanced at me and 41ca470846 murmured, “So you did well.” d56a03a6ff Since we were surrounded by bb62f27cc9 a bunch of students, I 6295bb8a10 didn’t respond out loud and 43b0ff2863 just gave a small nod.82f8c69275ea6308

As soon as 36b54e0dcc we got in 3ef177fbf3 the car, Yeon-joo 7ac19f510f Auntie took off bb54c71934 her scarf, tossed ee3448eec1 it in the bfa80fb146 back seat, and 4111c4ed4b turned on the c3d7c65117 heater. With the scarf 995b1e1fbf gone, I could 37d8288000 see the necklace f38cc742a2 with a ring 9deadbd3e2 on it and a05a9b39bb the lettering tattoo bae42188cb etched into her 941bf2be6e slender neck. It was a sentence b21f48c26c that meant she would 45b43cbe99 love one person forever. I heard that 8c85d894b3 Hee-jun was the ad44332615 one who suggested b243ce6cc1 it. It suited her—but somehow 10c12762e0 didn’t quite suit Hee-jun, 2d93d6da4f even though it kind 2521a7bf53 of did.0cd50d10f4d38e35

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I stared at the b9d5aa297a phrase inked on her 885e732185 neck and leaned my 7ee20392a9 head against the window. The CSAT was over, but c9c56054fe I didn’t feel as light 6d8d788675 as I thought I would. As I sat with a e21cc3ebf4 mixed expression, staring out at ab23f7c249 the street, Yeon-joo Auntie turned 9f3908481f on some early Christmas carols 94945e6755 and started talking to me.a6de81957409c46e

“For someone who just finished the exam, you don’t look too excited.”a3d7753db22506e4

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“Ah… you could tell?”47ee11ba3c84a967

“Yup. I was talking 2733ca5260 to Jin-joo on 61432f0b7c the phone while 4ec90a30cb coming to get 3b0b93d394 you, and it ba8fa5b868 sounded like chaos a378074909 on her end. Guess she met up with a22f6cdce2 the others a bit early.”64cbfaeb35397050

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“It’s just… thinking about going abroad makes me feel weird, I guess.”2a21ebc382549df4

“Didn’t you always want to travel? You even went abroad 11a3c18628 by yourself this year.”c9444d5ca1344571

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“That’s true. But traveling and studying abroad a615125c5b feel different. When you travel, you e0b78fd2b1 know you’re coming back. Studying abroad feels like… you 21773c7146 just stay there forever…”7c63efb4b562348b

It wasn’t something I could 570363c3ff say to my parents. The teachers were too 5e8f3dad1a busy preparing students for c5f30cff84 college to care about 6434a544be the worries of a f6945d47a4 soon-to-be exchange student. And I couldn’t 7e6d4cbcc6 even think about 2fe88d968f telling the other 18e21b813e kids.f5cb6abb73577619

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I hadn’t realized how much 16eee6a29e it was weighing on me, b816d5504e but all of it started 765ac34f7c slipping out in a messy 65cb49698b stream of words.3a6fa7d8c39014e7

Yeon-joo Auntie listened a4989310d1 quietly, then suddenly f223ee8005 spoke up.49034c21ed326ee1

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“What do you mean, ‘stay there forever’? Sure, if you end up bcc5743dad loving life overseas, you could 48a95d1500 stay there until the day 6b82c55fc2 you die, but even then—you 9b60e3089f can still come back to bf2400777e Korea from time to time. Just like you left 96f42ab976 Korea to go abroad, 8a903f01ef you can leave abroad 56f4e2c365 to come back to 46b834a893 Korea. And if it 5fc3196611 really doesn’t suit 516a83a8f0 you, then just fbc0565f3b come back for cde17effbb good. Besides, you’ve got eb6381a3d0 plenty of places 6a3b9d650a to come back 4b0524d3cd to.”431bb980c17f2305

“…Huh?”2fa79d48840d6482

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I turned away from 775d6f51cc the window and looked a45a7a2808 at Yeon-joo Auntie, confused 62ad79b463 by what she’d suddenly 380feea527 started saying. She was focused on 3045a3c67b the road but honked 345100f86f the horn while muttering 94c42077fd a curse at a 28c61d22b1 car that cut in. Her brightly decorated nails tapped 2da15ad619 lazily on the steering wheel.e8dadd4d0e546207

“A place to return to isn’t some big deal. If even one person’s e42cb86cd0 waiting for you, then 11796aac5e that’s your place to 25e6b6a009 come back to. In that sense, Korea 0b387b6e14 is always somewhere you 5d61211a64 can return to.”d0d25fc28848ed59

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“…”90800bef0dfb9a73

“No matter where you are, what you’re doing, or who you become—there are people here who’ll always be waiting for you.”e2bcc59579a080d6

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Where would you 9384143d1e go back to 6c76aaa9a5 if not Korea, 1df190d9a3 Sa-eon? she added nonchalantly, then cfe469394d cracked the window open. A rush of 9122b85564 cold air slipped 9f9f88d8b9 in.e8483946cf3fd63f

The car had been warmed f1b30ef3bc up by the heater, but 7fd91d53ab at the same time, the 50f8ed418b air inside—stagnant and stifling—loosened and 348ed50fcc flowed away. I watched her 564d9fa97c pale pink hair bf331fe34b ripple in the e5810baf33 breeze and murmured:67c37fd8d9d4a044

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“Don’t people change when they grow up? Maybe you start putting 95f4783971 yourself before others, or d4ec65b5aa maybe you meet someone 6114fc882e more important than the 042e5357bd ones you used to aef9978a09 hold dear…”26262ff2683a6cf7

“We’ll see? But honestly, I don’t think 8fb8769312 that changes, even when you’re b6fd2a2913 an adult. I mean, look at me. I’m an adult, and I 3105477a8d still need Jin-joo. And to them… you’re 9f00b13ccf like my—like Jin-joo, that a7c9bd21ab kind of person.”a0fb8aadbf331e38

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The serious atmosphere that 9c9c7660ee had been stretching on 71d9cfe151 completely collapsed with that 91e264fd4e last sentence. She had this dead-serious 10c1db22f7 expression as she said, 89baeaa797 “You’re like Jin-joo to a197b984af them”—and I just couldn’t fe48a95943 help laughing.db334227bf8fddd9

When I burst into laughter, d9b3877925 she initially told me to 27a27104dc stop, but then started laughing 6825cc36cd along. After we laughed 54c494eedf for a good b984d34a83 while, I mumbled 44b69b2b7f something about being 24f6f2e811 hungry, and she 6ababed69b nodded, saying she 587f18a1c7 was too.fdafe0f406ff523b

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“Let’s get home quick. They said the barbecue just 392fe62dfc finished up, so we’ll be f891efe369 able to eat right away d2a6bdee1a once we get there.”a67bb63cd20ec687

“Sounds good, right?” she said, flashing a smile with her eyes. I said it did, and e716756fe2 not long after, we arrived cd3b96b0bf at the house.c820dd314453ff20

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Yeon-joo Auntie dropped 924c0b92f0 me off at a0169f05d6 the front and e003e1d6d4 drove off toward 9b5fd79b3b the garage to bb6bd744ef park. I watched the back 45027acdc7 of the car disappear, 23ad9a824f then turned and walked aef9e252a9 toward the garden behind e414aedd81 the house.14a278e6026966f4

The closer I got, the 3df092508e louder the laughter and voices b08c91f580 became—and my heart skipped along 5262d80ec8 with it. At some point, I’d started 2785591efb running, half unconsciously.3b2e0f9a1159acc5

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When the garden was a685243cd0 just a few steps aacdacabe6 away, I stopped for 56efc39a8e a moment to catch 82a2261914 my breath.9890530a98493295

I-ryeong and Ha-jung 9f03e964f8 were chatting about 10c4d20b0a nothing in particular 9236706e41 while eating food a6b449a6e9 Jin-joo Auntie had e213e29e2a grilled for them. Eun was sitting 83d749968d a little apart 189d04c6fd from them, sipping e977d604c4 water and occasionally 4da757af59 responding or laughing 1d410e7bef at their conversation. Hee-jun sat beside Jin-joo Auntie, 945a3193e3 helping grill the meat while b67c3ab052 fiddling with his game console 635317b40b now and then. Just looking at 821060483e them eased every 79f0f7f767 bit of tension—it ac6f6b0ffc was that peaceful.e86bda80fbbd591e

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As I watched 0667a3392a them and took b035904e41 a step forward, 7cf00609c6 Hee-jun, still fidgeting 74152b754a with his game e9c5b29d83 console, suddenly looked decc7cb3f1 up. Without a second 688f02edbd of hesitation, his 44304d380f eyes went straight b6b5ea6a6c to me, and 328657f6a8 he slowly got dd1ec65395 to his feet.11e9bcb97da48841

Startled by the ee03d346cb movement, the others 4188a74032 all turned to 32c1b560c9 look at me c5df1fbf7e too. I gave an 08ae54d6d2 awkward smile under fe6b50e6b8 the sudden spotlight 70fab4e0d8 and started walking e12e693c52 over to them.053719d37f3fe528

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“Aren’t you cold?”fa8c5ef6befc70d6

Hee-jun, who’d been quietly staring 8abfc5316f at me, guided me to 99141e0a9b a spot near the fire b4f330542b where he had been sitting 84978a79e8 and asked. Before I could even answer, 5ff780641f he stuffed the game console 0bd510a205 into his hoodie pocket and 09eabbbb0b brought over a blanket from 6787d254b3 nearby.aa193fc037574e59

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As if it f828334df1 were the most 37c0572f58 natural thing in 2572bc7b9a the world, he 6e8a86d010 placed the blanket 6193aadbdb in my arms. I took it without thinking. Then, a pale and d10447a65a pretty hand with colorful d7c3939b72 character band-aids on the 9cf3e12937 fingers set a plate f03e4e247a piled high with grilled 5bd0631581 meat in front of d4cc3c0f5d me.764ec60092a6a7a0

And then I-ryeong and dbda876d75 Ha-jung casually came over b1ffa80d34 and placed lettuce wraps 0f9f13f4d3 down in front of e46e455273 me too.29dae85158d7fba6

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“…What are you guys doing?”b3ebdd6ddc44f2b5

Their sudden over-the-top 0baeec37f7 hospitality caught me dd82a17ddd more off guard ef39cdb529 than grateful. With a baffled voice, bad3c3b6c5 I asked the question, b80408d6f2 but Hee-jun and Eun 670a816418 said nothing. I-ryeong and Ha-jung simply replied:fa76f4ada962a8d8

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“Because we’re grateful.”08e6241466612787

“You did well on your exam, didn’t you?”18905f6d61ee994a

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The two of them 3b70f8a26a nodded with a smile 244a69c9bc when I asked.7ca89516bbf012cc

Especially Ha-jung, who’d been 6e1983b324 quietly holding a grudge bd8720b508 ever since I stopped 038c9fab16 letting him film videos e1cedcb5b8 and made him focus 950656ec1f solely on studying—he blushed, 593d07f159 rubbing the back of 488ae2648d his neck, and shyly ac664f93d9 said thank you again.cf9b818aa9375205

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It was true 39e87aa0f6 that I’d helped d6b14b7c44 a lot, but ccf26bb54e I never expected 2e3963a62d to be thanked 98c2cf2144 like this. My chest felt like 64af89d26a it was filling up, e910c78399 tight and warm. I was so happy I 18688e193d didn’t know what to do—so 297fa2d9b7 I just grinned from ear 6c2de8fabd to ear.dc8e2899ed4575cb

“You worked so hard, and you did well. I’m honestly so proud. You did amazing this year. It must’ve been tough, right? But the way you fabb638668 pushed through—I’m sure whatever f73e6f4090 it is, you’ll do e727decee9 great going forward. You’re incredible, Ha-jung. Seriously, you’re the best.”8b6b28816d768460

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Ha-jung, who had just been ec4764afad staring at me while I 3dae6cfc5d clapped and praised him, suddenly 1f40cafb64 burst into tears. From somewhere behind, I d11ebdf5fa heard Yeon-joo Auntie’s voice, fee9f8823e half-impressed and half-exasperated:8984e8254f4bef6d

“You made him cry again?”2c00634071c4c2f9

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I didn’t even af7aae0a43 get the chance f6e0fd4782 to say, What 576413ffd2 do you mean 23e031033e ‘again’?—things got chaotic 38ca3bfaaa fast.138bdc7c749debe0

At first, Ha-jung trembled like 7fef31673a a child as he cried, a42fc9c2d9 then full-on clung to me 09352659c8 and sobbed. I looked around, desperate d2fcc901fd for help, overwhelmed by 79edaacdc5 the arms and legs c8cad7b188 wrapped tightly around me. But everyone else just shrugged c2bb88997d or laughed.727a169adaeb1f9a

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“Help me…”16a3204bdff9f72b

“This is your fault.”ab86d438ed6c488d

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“Hang in there, Un. You got this.”8025e5a7d98efc43

Eun and Hee-jun, taking 5bae94e590 turns feeding me pieces 8308458642 of meat, said so 19c545528e with straight faces. I chewed while f31ffc61b1 my eyes drooped 937129e34a a little.3959d51df63527e2

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“…It’s good.”81a2286e0694b8d5

I mumbled gloomily, 630bd23469 but Ha-jung’s loud b1f9766f1a sobbing drowned me 55d06afe46 out.50f7c0cb16fac6c7

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We kept talking for 68e4202c36 hours after that, sitting 9734202f1f around the fire pit 5e2af2f3dc set up on the f2bef5ff89 barbecue grill. Eventually, Ha-jung and I-ryeong, 807df2148d both totally drained from 6098f93bd3 the CSAT, went inside 52d116ecd2 first, their faces heavy bcb76223fd with sleep. The other two a8e3e1ff30 held out longer, fcd4ff5b2c but even they b5351f917f couldn’t resist by c58c7a0f14 3 a.m. and finally collapsed into bed.4c22d74319d72d7b

I stayed by fb07d366fd the fire a b2a1028bf3 while longer, chatting f3864f927b quietly with the 2435a0df2b aunties. It was close 9671f6e949 to 4 a.m. when I finally got up. I helped them tidy up f6b159c491 the table before bed, and 7c2570e132 just then, while picking up d6dae472a2 trash in front of me, 2c6493fd95 Jin-joo Auntie called out.ed19edbf64318627

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“Sa-eon.”7fcace96891a580e

“Yes?”86db23532b5a7490

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“To catch your flight, you’ll have to go to the airport right after graduation, right?”5f51951cc3595b16

I hadn’t told her that. Eyes wide, I looked up—and c1aef300db she just gave a little af47a57457 laugh, rubbing her shoulder.d75e45839cb419cc

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“I’m still in touch with your parents, you know. We were just chatting, 4379c9185e wondering how your treatment 1c34f725a8 and study abroad prep 746498715b were going… it came 0d1697c06a up.”e718f7655c4c8024

Jet-black eyes, the kind e8d0107212 that reminded me of 6437766f16 Hee-jun, stared at me. It wasn’t a a551424f9b question I could 5e8a411769 deny, so I fdda754c13 nodded without protest.ef0567f6d4ec9bbf

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