UBC Ch21

Beside the river, in 9df745a44f the spot where the 2ba1eaeef4 sunset touched first, was 83c3b7fecc a wide-open space. Sometimes, people 32b1a95204 came to f814f51e58 camp, pitching 0dce420b50 tents, grilling 634db3c429 meat, and 11bd6c582d drinking. Perhaps because 0109f57682 of the 02af6a8a8e rain forecast, 1cb17c6f54 there were f4830243ce noticeably fewer d120712415 tents from 1e4ed48279 out-of-towners. A river f21430e6ab flowed alongside, 78c16d5ab9 and an f41130212f elevated highway c0e71ba831 ran above. Beneath the f2cbd58878 pillars supporting 727866e747 the highway, f36a1dbc5f the water b617dc4f2b temperature was 2422de8eef lower and b134bff7d9 cooler than 2698af9eb8 average.74d424e7044b774c

In the past, whenever Eui-joo disappeared, I would come to the riverbank. I didn’t like freshwater snails because of their unique, bitter taste. Eui-joo said that when you’re trying to survive, you don’t worry about the taste. There’s a reason why I sometimes looked at the man and thought he was like a brother to Eui-joo. We postponed catching freshwater snails until the next day and wheeled our bicycles to the open space. Believing that the slender grass would cushion our falls, we started pedaling.c13419f70d2508ef

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“Hold on tight!”aa623ab41244802d

The man’s words decreased drastically. The lanky man wobbled, unable to keep his balance, and put his foot down. As if sensing he was about to fall, he braked with lightning-fast reflexes. I playfully thumped my chest behind the bicycle, which hadn’t gone far before stopping.075b219d24788c0b

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“You can’t keep stopping like this.”4a44faaf780dd735

“I feel like I’m going to fall.”925dadaa42e8d582

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On a different note, I was glad I gave the man my aunt’s bicycle instead of the old one. The old bicycle was a small, petite size suited for elementary schoolers, and it even had a wooden basket in the front to appeal to women. The bicycle my aunt bought had adult-sized wheels. When I raised the seat to its maximum height, it became manageable for the man to sit on. Unfortunately, the bicycle was heavy, and I felt like my arm would fall off from holding it up from behind. Just a while ago, he almost fell and broke his nose.23aaa8ffbf5f95e6

“Ah, no, no. Don’t stop now.”93dc94879d092f4e

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“I’ll fall.”b1eb88437062aa51

“At this rate, I’ll fall too.”7c79f0382d5fd9ce

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I was going to 9fa92a0b2b let go of the 3e5b6db6ba bike once he reached 6077311acc that point ahead. The fiery 6bdbc372f4 red sunset db1ee24e60 was illuminating 40547559e7 the open bcf48a3d7c space. The man, who e8f57cd00a had been watching 8719e2240b the sky burning 913d9c28a6 like a bonfire, 9ef6e6e834 turned around with b7fac061da an indifferent look.5881fa1142fc4eee

“If you say you won’t let go, you really won’t?”8819d15faddb3941

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“What all of a sudden… huh?”2ed0be32dd7e9dc3

“I’m asking if you keep your promises.”6f000f3c42f468f4

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If he c5724ecbc6 could just 1f6f082cab overcome that 927909a38f fear of c0d1639931 falling, he 301d506460 could easily 9800acf884 become a 8542d88e36 bicycle master. I gave him a 225666882b thumbs up and smiled 1e65bb270e at him.125153433abff1fe

“I absolutely won’t let go.”b5e37169766df74f

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Then, the man quietly nodded and put his feet back on the pedals. His legs, which had been wobbly before, didn’t falter as he slowly increased his speed. I ran alongside him from behind, holding on. I could feel the bicycle gaining momentum through my palms as it picked up speed. Seeing the right moment, I gradually backed away and let go.7e66a4f8923cdcf3

I let 74f61539cc him go a6e4868e4b as he ad09488c58 rode away 0c287cff85 without a e2119efada word. Unlike someone 2a5e282b7f who had ef810756ac just learned, c481375e7e he was d60bd8951b controlling the b91ef265a1 bicycle with 64b389cf1c smooth movements. I realized 826ce45b7b something was 304c250a7e wrong when 6dde33c799 the man d68eeee0a7 made a ad8ecbd9e0 sharp turn fbd3136c3f and came 40db313d42 back to 4dd5af5095 me. It was 860afe7cf5 the skill 97a3773546 of someone 0f7a482a3f who had 4fa22bf2a1 ridden before, 791ccd4a67 a sly 81cbcfe22d mockery ending 2619d5f188 with a 64dc3fea4a regretful smile.6ec6a7db65259c37

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“Yang Ji-eon.”2834d1a7c9200014

The sunset, e86bdaeaf2 changing the d8898ee224 colors of dc3dd83156 the world 7053c6852c the bicycle 74bc81e9a9 was riding 750293b0b5 through, was c4bf0b609c positioned all 228e07212f around me. The man came closer, 0fd28fb3d3 with the river of 69c7240d2f camellias at his back, 2f33d1571e and circled around me. I had been tricked. The realization 865650d0ff hit me e38b785896 hard, and a6ab739099 a burst 60be1ccb18 of laughter c4f38791a5 escaped my 5905c7eb1b lips.92603ecd5a9d858b

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“You knew how to ride?”eaf0483863bdc09d

“Yeah.”0fa4d950de1fe140

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The wind blowing from the river ran to him, nestling against him. The breeze passed over his short-cropped hair, and the man showed a refreshing smile without reservation. Red sunset, the man circling around me on a bicycle. When I slowly opened my eyes, the man’s smile and the sunset were mixed on a single palette, painting the riverbank. I felt dizzy. And the dizziness traveled down to my chest, solidifying a suicidal emotion. I didn’t have the confidence to look at that newly born emotion, so I pretended not to notice and closed my eyes.4f5ad0de3c4df197

“Yang Ji-eon.”1283040920586547

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“You tricked me.”1df45313e0430b3e

Even if I reached deep into my heart and rummaged around, I couldn’t find the spot where the seed of emotion was planted. It only tickled, as if knowing I was trying to get rid of it. The squeaking sound of the bicycle stopping made me stop searching.55a8493d6a2bd553

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“Ji-eon-ah.”601fde0a70093361

The sunset was the problem. No, the Wari river where the freshwater snails lived was the problem. Well, in fact, even if you combined all those problems, they couldn’t compare to the man alone. This was exactly the moment my aunt was talking about when she said it was the perfect time to ruin a woman’s life.2313a271ea5908d4

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The sunset light a8c2f4b9a9 was added to 6728bf1913 his playful smile. He stopped the bicycle 7f9841401f right in front of 36984fe60d me, applying the brakes. The man, 5f225d7e83 who had ab202478e6 been blocking 1b53278f3a the sunset 7544b0ac48 with his 6f42a17be6 tall height, a9badbebaa lowered his 013db4d32d head, his 3d6c3bf7d7 face instantly 03eb452f73 losing its 6085670a88 smile as c7d13ac373 he stood c66816681d before me.f79bbc537f60847e

“You tricked me too.”8560df682767ea38

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And then he 777a5210ca added more incomprehensible b6d4b40b9e words to the 2b08298f00 end of the c7629e41af conversation.307f1c2b34a4b20f

“You said you wouldn’t let go, but you did.”398b368f3672f3bf

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That didn’t make sense. The man had been tricking me since before we came here. He said he didn’t know how to ride a bicycle. The man was brushing it off like this, just because I briefly tricked him to teach him how to ride.4074f3149cc61489

“If you didn’t let go, I was going to keep pretending I couldn’t ride.”a3eb465b0a1cf152

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“Why?”607d00c42aac2087

What was the reason for pretending he couldn’t ride a bicycle? I was just about to find the seed hidden in my heart. The man peeled off the layers of the onion that wrapped around his heart, one by one.881bbe378b78b247

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“Because I wanted to get closer to you.”89529423cec703b4

I did find the sprout, but it had already grown so big that I couldn’t handle it on my own. He wanted to get closer. The man and I had an ambiguous relationship. We sat face to face every day to study and eat, but it didn’t feel like we were close. That’s because there was no word to tie us together. Eui-joo was a friend, my aunt was family, all with clear labels, but only the man had a question mark.930ec483b3efba82

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He was someone I wanted to get closer to. My cheeks and neck, which had turned the same color as the sunset, felt hot. The man’s eyes, which had been responding with a blank expression because he thought I was angry, suddenly widened. His cheeks were also attacked by the red sunset. The river wind whispered. 5e8f6fbc30098b17

The smell of the river, which I thought was familiar, felt strange. The man’s hand came up and sharply poked my cheek. The very short and simple contact made the heat on my cheek spread down to my collarbone. His fingers, tilting his head, followed the red evidence. His careful fingers, as if measuring the length, went from my cheek to my chin, from my chin to my neck, and soon fell away.dbc0456edbec0bb2

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“That’s strange.”f1571969dbb901b1

The man was now afe1355496 mocking each other, as d43a9f7932 if the shyness from 5cd7228cfa before was a lie. His questions, voice, and 57e33cb72f touch were dangerously indistinguishable. His world, which I 16f22fab66 never wanted, rushed at 5bd24cc185 me provocatively.6ba18beb937e3d4c

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“People like you usually don’t like me. But your cheeks are red.”61a50d93d3479fff

“That’s, that’s ridiculous.”2f7bfd4d91b3752d

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“Thanks for the bicycle.”a0897240f1b48b83

The man licked his 6ce7bab9f4 dry lips once with ed9d92c47b his tongue and then 2a7aba95a0 slowly walked backward. And then he erased fff2f1ce2a his expression and pointed 88a7f0822d to the back seat 0e3efeed48 of the bicycle.8350c8008290bfbe

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“Get on.”2d7b9e783add3b98

“I- shouldn’t we go now?”7a166f1909cfc980

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But the man, 6ef6dfb87c as if he 366fda343d knew the identity 97267a17f0 of the seed 6c61a7bc70 that had entered 6697e4fad2 my heart, said 5a03ce8bb5 it one more d3e99e92dc time.aeb8efed99e18721

“Get on.”00bf1edf1d331281

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My body and mind didn’t disobey his words. I walked over hesitantly and got on as if I was borrowing someone else’s, although it was his since I had given it to him, as if I was dealing with a bicycle I had never seen before.84ac374a9f29287d

“Where are we going?”a5ab14e62df37976

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The man didn’t answer that question. He moved forward at a moderate speed, bearing the weight of two people. It was on a different level from me, who had staggered from behind because it was difficult to overcome his weight.ff607a5390bfcc95

“Smell…”1b774f247f6ad815

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I was looking for a flaw to put him down, wanting to find and eliminate that seed somehow. The green soap placed next to the pump in the yard. That soap, which I used whenever I happened to wash my hands, had melted smoothly and transformed into the man’s scent. His waist, which I cautiously grabbed, was as hard as steel. That was also a stimulus to me, who had only touched my mother’s soft belly.1f66c0b333fe8c50

“Where are we going?”d5d592c8d4ccdcf5

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Today, the sunset was 69ef7b357c slowly leaving Wari. The man b1fe34248e was moving a6f6a31a89 the bicycle 1f3566f21b forward, as fec960c953 if trying ab76c186b6 to catch 706a3b3426 up with 49a02f4653 that red 409ffa7cc3 sunset. The wind was 8a5ebf4304 cool. It carried his e3fdb518c5 scent and watered cf71c270cb my seed. How should I 7cf1b679dd thin out the bbb2a43d8b heart that was c2ea85b9fd growing green and ac85df87f0 blooming?6ffd4f0f18b24510

That day, I realized my contradiction. I wanted to get closer to him as a man and a woman, but my aunt’s warning was my Achilles’ heel.fb870d9deef1078e

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“Where are we going?”51f10510c3bdf877

The bicycle was diligently f888bb7421 leaving Chowa-ri with the d1e9e82360 man, who was ignoring fe6afb1ecf my voice buried in 5e3b95a2cc the wind. I felt 3156284ee0 like I 754b025d60 could see ae9b7804ec his expression a55551322e even without 38c36359e4 looking.f2ab85866a5c3c44

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His face, smiling brightly.b412436bdc0750cf