4-1. Ha-eun, Lee Sa-eon, Choi Hee-jun: Age 19 (1)

<Lee Sa-eon>

Time, as always, passed quickly—never once slowing down for someone like me, who was often struggling under the weight of reality. Still, Eun, Hee-jun, and I steadily grew, both in body and mind. And so, we reached the age of nineteen, with the end of our teens and the beginning of our twenties just around the corner.

My phone rang loudly. I hadn’t looked at the clock, but it felt like it had been ringing for a solid ten minutes. If I ignored it any longer, I’d definitely have to face the consequences.

I adjusted my slightly rumpled shirt collar from putting on my tie, then let out a short laugh and reached out my arm. The expected name flashed across the screen of the phone sitting on the nearby table.

Picking up the call, I grabbed my backpack from the corner. As I slung it over one shoulder, I opened my mouth.

“Hello?”

– …

“Hello? Hmm? Why isn’t anyone saying anything? Isn’t this Sa-eon’s friend Hee-jun’s phone?”

– …Hello.

“Oh no, Hee-jun’s mad.”

– Mad? I’m not mad. I’m just… annoyed. Not mad, just pissed off, really.

Anyone could tell just by his tone that he was clearly irritated. And I knew exactly why. I’d have to be clueless not to know—because the cause of that irritation was me.

It was because I’d suddenly ghosted him from two days before summer break started until the day school started back up—today.

Of course, I had my reasons. Not that they were the kind I could explain to Eun or Hee-jun, so all I could do now was apologize and grovel.

After I changed Eun and Hee-jun’s pasts, a single thought began to haunt me. What if, because of me, the “happy future” meant for the two of them had gone off course? I couldn’t help but worry that my selfish decision to alter the past had ended up destroying the guaranteed happiness they were supposed to have.

If my worries were just about the future, money, college, or grades like everyone else around me, that’d be one thing. But who could I even talk to about this?

This concern had been weighing on me for quite some time, and it only grew heavier as the original story’s true beginning crept closer. Making matters worse, I didn’t see even the slightest hint of a romantic connection forming between Eun and Hee-jun, which only made me more anxious.

Of course, I don’t regret saving them from their misery. What I do regret is whether what I did back then was truly the best I could’ve done. Did I really do everything I could? Honestly, even now, asking myself that question again—I still don’t know.

Eun and Hee-jun are the main characters. No matter what hardships they faced, they were supposed to overcome them and be rewarded with a happy ending. They were originally meant to have a secure, comfortable future… and now, because of me, that might be gone. Just thinking about it is enough to drive someone mad.

Since even one choice I make can affect their future, I should have been more careful. And now, because they’ve become so precious to me—so much more than they were at the start—I couldn’t help but be swallowed up by these regrets.

So, for years, I carried that burden alone, unable to tell anyone. And eventually, when it became too much to handle, I left on an impulsive solo trip. Just two days before summer vacation ended.

No matter my reasons, it’s a fact that I’m the reason Hee-jun is angry. With an awkward smile—the kind only someone full of guilt could wear—I stepped out of the room.

You could call it an excuse, but honestly, this escape wasn’t something I could help. Do you really think I wanted to leave the side of the only two people I’d grown close to? But the stress had gotten so bad that I’d started having nightmares every night after seeing them, or waking up at dawn to throw up when it got too extreme.

The fear I was trying to endure alone made it impossible to stay by their sides any longer.

And then, on top of it all, something terrible happened.

I suddenly presented. As an omega, no less.

To sum it up, the sub gong ‘beta’ from the original story—Lee Sa-eon—had suddenly manifested as an omega.

It was far too big of a deal to just go “oh, okay” and move on. What scared me even more was that I had no idea what kind of effect my manifestation would have on the other two.

One day, out of nowhere, Hee-jun grabbed me and said, “You smell nice,” and then stuck by my side the entire day. That alone had been a massive shock to me.

Sure, I’d given up on the original romance storyline a long time ago. But that didn’t mean I wanted to have any kind of ‘influence’ on the two of them. And this manifestation—something that hadn’t even existed in the original—was absolutely the kind of thing that could influence them.

So once again, I did some digging and found out that overseas, treatment for pheromone issues was more advanced. Hoping it might help, I brought it up with my parents, and after discussing it, we decided that I’d head overseas for a bit to try and deal with… this sudden problem.

But Eun and Hee-jun made such a fuss, contacting me nonstop like a pair of lost kittens, begging me to come back, that I ended up returning sooner than I planned. If they’d only called ‘me’, maybe I could’ve ignored it—but they even pestered my parents and Auntie Jin-joo, so I had no choice.

Completely suppressing awakened pheromones turned out to be harder than expected. Since I was still young, the doctor said surgery could come with major side effects. There was even the possibility that my ability to detect pheromones could become completely paralyzed.

My doctor recommended trying a pheromone-suppressing procedure for a year first, then deciding about surgery based on how things went. My parents and I agreed. Well, my parents tried to talk me out of it, saying it wasn’t necessary, but I pushed hard and eventually got them to sign the consent form.

After getting the procedure, I was more or less dragged back by the two who hadn’t stopped reaching out the entire time I was away.

“Next time I go, I’ll need to get the treatment completely finished before I can come back…”

With that thought lingering in the back of my mind, I mumbled quietly—too softly for Hee-jun to hear on the other end of the call.
Then, as if I’d never had such thoughts in the first place, I asked brightly:

“Come on, what’s wrong?”

– Ah… it’s nothing, really. Just… my friend disappeared two days before summer break ended. Didn’t contact anyone until twenty minutes before school started again. Wouldn’t that piss anyone off? Right?

What started out harsh ended up sounding more like a whine by the end.

Listening to Hee-jun’s grumbling, I walked to the kitchen to get breakfast. I set my backpack down on a chair, switched the phone to speaker mode, and placed it on the table.

Even as I took out a bowl and cereal from the cupboard and grabbed milk from the fridge, Hee-jun didn’t say a word. It was as if he was screaming, “I’m mad!” without actually saying it.

Pouring cereal into the bowl and milk over it, I tried to soothe him.

“Maybe that friend had a reason for it?”

He scoffed at how I was talking like it was someone else’s story—but soon muttered in a quiet voice.

– …Still, you could’ve at least sent a text.

“Were you upset that I didn’t contact you at all?”

– I was worried. Yeah, I was upset too. But more than that—I was really worried. Lee Sa-eon, you’ve never gone completely off the grid like this except for that one time you were hospitalized. I seriously thought… ha, I thought something had happened. Next time, at least send a message. Got it?

The more he spoke, the more agitated he seemed to get. His words grew longer, his emotions rising with them. Hearing him spill everything like he’d been holding it in, I gave an awkward little laugh and answered obediently for now.

“Yeah. I will.”

– You’re always good at saying that. Oh, right. Lee Sa-eon, let’s go to school together today.

“Ah, I was planning to head out a bit early today. Is that okay? You usually leave a little late, don’t you?”

– We’re going together.

Honestly, seeing the two of them still made me uneasy, and I was also a little worried about going to school so early. But Hee-jun completely ignored that and insisted we go together. He didn’t seem like he was going to budge, so I quietly agreed.

When he’s like this, he’ll definitely follow me even if I say no.

At my half-resigned, half-bewildered agreement, I heard Hee-jun let out a low laugh of satisfaction from the other end of the line.

He said he’d come to my place and told me to be ready in about ten minutes. After that, he went silent.

Hee-jun not saying anything further basically meant I should hang up. He’d never once ended a call first before. He always waited until I hung up.

Familiar with the routine, I ended the call and finished my cereal. After washing the dishes, I got ready for school.

Checking my watch, I saw that it was nearly time for Hee-jun to arrive.

Earlier this year, both of my parents had been transferred to overseas branches. Because of that, I’d moved out and started living on my own. This officetel was a bit far from school, but it was close to a train station.

My parents, who liked quiet places, had deliberately chosen a unit on the top floor where noise wouldn’t reach. It was spacious for someone living alone, but my parents said that since I’d be here a long time, it was better to go big.

Other than the interior design, not much had changed from the house I’d lived in with my parents. The main difference was that, unlike the old house where the living room was always dim with curtains drawn, this place was filled with sunlight since the curtains were always open. Some of the empty rooms had become half-used by my friends, too.

In a drawer beneath the rarely-used TV sat a shark plush, a hamster, and a cat doll.

When was it again? We’d stopped by an arcade for a bit, and Hee-jun had gone wild catching every plush in sight. Among them, we each picked one that resembled us the most in color or vibe. But after picking, both Eun and Hee-jun insisted I take all of them home. So I ended up with the light brown cat that looked like Eun and the soft gray shark that looked like Hee-jun.

Ever since that day, those animal plushies had naturally become our little symbols. I mean, why a hamster? A cat’s toy? And for the shark… I wouldn’t even be a bite-sized snack. Not even half a bite. Feeling a little suffocated, I poked and messed with the shark and cat plushies on the drawer before heading out.

After getting off the elevator and walking into the lobby, I saw Hee-jun sitting on the stairs in front of the main entrance.

I rushed out through the glass doors and half-jogged toward him.

“Hee-jun!”

At the sound of his name called cheerfully, he looked up from his phone, his headset pulled snugly over his head.

I stood beside him, idly thinking, Wow, he actually heard me with those on.

“Good morning. Sleep well?”

It had been a while since I’d seen his face, and it made me genuinely happy. I greeted him with a wide smile, and after staring at me in silence with tightly pressed lips, he rose to his feet.

I was sure we were about the same height when we first met, but now he had grown a good two finger-widths taller than me.

I looked at him with a proud gaze, thinking, He’s really grown well.
I wondered how many people could still picture the boy he used to be, just by looking at the Hee-jun now.

His bangs, which used to hang long enough to cover his eyes, were now neatly trimmed to a proper length. His frame, once so skinny you could feel every bone just by touching him, had become firm with regular exercise.

The face that had once been marked with so many wounds it was hard to see what he originally looked like was now smooth and pale. I reached up, brushing away a strand of hair stuck to his neck, and let out a soft laugh.

Thinking about how dearly his aunt must have raised him, it made sense he’d grown up so much that the past barely felt real anymore.

Not long after I brought Hee-jun out of that neighborhood, my parents managed to track down his relatives. They eventually got in touch with his aunt by chance.

His aunt, Auntie Jin-joo, had taken him in without hesitation, just a little earlier than she had in the original story.

Since then, she’d poured out both love and money to raise Hee-jun. So it was no surprise at all that, over time, he’d grown into someone this admirable.

Aunt Jin-joo cared for me and Eun as well. Knowing there were people who loved Hee-jun and Eun even without me in the picture… that was a relief.

Lost in that thought, my mind naturally wandered back to the first time I met Aunt Jin-joo.

She’d said that she’d heard a lot about me from Hee-jun, and was happy to finally meet me in person. Then she added there was something she’d always wanted to ask me once we met.

“I heard from Hee-jun that you were the one who gave him that name. But how did you come up with ‘Hee-jun’?”

She explained that she had also originally wanted to name him “Hee-jun,” with the exact same Chinese characters: 햇살 희 (sunlight “hee”) and 좇을 준 (to follow “jun”).

That absolutely floored me.
The name “Hee-jun” was from the original novel, sure—but I’d picked those exact Chinese characters myself.

So I’d thought maybe she’d use different ones when she renamed him… but to find out the name and even the characters matched what she’d planned all along—it was such a shock.

Even now, it feels kind of unreal. It made me wonder if destiny was really a thing. Like, maybe it just proves that Hee-jun was always meant to follow the sunlight—to be someone who lives beneath the sun.

Wrapped up in that strange, sentimental mood, I smiled at Hee-jun as he stood tall in the sunlight, looking right at me.
He was still frowning slightly, like he wasn’t ready to let go of his grudge—but only for a moment. After silently watching me smile, his expression slowly softened, like he was admitting defeat, and he finally replied a little late.

“…I slept fine. You? Did you sleep well?”

“I did. Slept just fine.”

The name I called out brightly made him lift his head from his phone, even with his headset pulled down tight.

He actually heard me through that thing, I thought absently as I walked up and stood beside him.

“Good morning. Sleep well?”

It was genuinely nice to see his face again after so long. At my cheerful greeting, he kept his mouth firmly shut but stood up from where he’d been sitting.

When we first met, we were about the same height. Now, he was at least two finger joints taller.

I looked up at him with proud eyes, thinking he’d grown so well. I wondered how many people could still picture the boy he used to be just by looking at him now.

His bangs, which once hung over his eyes, were now neatly trimmed. The body that once felt all bones when touched had filled out with steady exercise.

His face, once so covered in scars it was hard to recognize, was now smooth and pale. I reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair off his neck, smiling softly.

Well, it made sense—especially knowing how much love his aunt had raised him with. Of course he would grow to the point where you could hardly recall the past.

Not long after I pulled Hee-jun out of that neighborhood, my parents had tracked down his relatives. That’s how we ended up getting in touch with his aunt by chance.

His aunt, Auntie Jin-joo, took him in like it was the most natural thing in the world—slightly earlier than in the original story, but it didn’t matter.

Since then, she’d raised him with an abundance of affection and money. So, of course he turned out like this—handsome and well put together.

Auntie Jin-joo cared for Eun and me as well. It was a comfort, knowing there were people who loved Eun and Hee-jun even without me.

Thinking about that brought back the memory of the first time I met Aunt Jin-joo.

She told me she’d heard a lot about me from Hee-jun and that it was great to finally meet me. Then she said there was something she’d always wanted to ask.

“I heard you were the one who gave Hee-jun his name. But how did you come up with ‘Hee-jun’?”

She said she’d also wanted to name him “Hee-jun” originally, and that she planned to use the exact same Chinese characters: 햇살 희 (sunlight ‘hee’) and 좇을 준 (to follow ‘jun’).

That stunned me.

Sure, I’d borrowed the name “Hee-jun” from the original novel—but the characters were something I chose myself.

So I’d assumed she might use different ones when she officially renamed him… but to hear that her original plan was the exact same name, with the exact same characters—I was floored.

Even now, it feels surreal. Like maybe fate really is a thing. And maybe all of it proves Hee-jun was always meant to follow sunlight—to belong under it.

Caught up in those strange feelings, I smiled at Hee-jun, who was standing tall in the sunlight and staring right at me.
He still looked a little grumpy, clearly not over it, but when he saw me smiling, his expression softened like he was giving in, and he finally replied, a beat late.

“…I slept fine. You?”

“I did too.”

The truth was, I barely slept at all thanks to jet lag. But if I said that out loud, Hee-jun would just start worrying again. So I lied with a fresh-sounding voice and grabbed onto the sleeve of his hoodie.

Holding hands with a guy our age felt a bit awkward, so instead, I just held his sleeve.
But whether he understood my intention or not, Hee-jun pulled his sleeve out of my grip—and slid his hand into mine like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I glanced at him and just let out a soft laugh.

“You’re not gonna tell me why you didn’t contact us, are you?”

“Hmm…”

“Forget it. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not gonna push.”

The look in his eyes was still full of hurt, so his words made me feel grateful and kind of amused.
I laughed again and ruffled his hair lightly.

“But how come Eun didn’t message me this morning? That’s rare.”

He’d been contacting me just as consistently as Hee-jun until yesterday, so it’s not like he was mad enough to ignore me altogether. I had no idea why he hadn’t reached out.

Tilting my head, I noticed belatedly that Hee-jun was unusually silent.
He was darting his eyes around like someone caught in the act.

“…Are you two seriously still fighting over me at your age? Just split me in half and take one side each.”

I said it like I was scolding two little kids fighting over a favorite toy.
He quickly spoke up in his own defense.

“No… I mean, come on, be real. He’s in the same class as you—he gets way more time with you than I do. Not only am I in a different class, I’m on a different floor! How is that fair at all? Everyone knows we’re close.”

So you told him not to come today, I thought, even as I nodded outwardly like I understood.

The two of them often fought over me.
Since I was the one who had protected and saved them when they were younger, it was sort of unavoidable.

Sometimes people gave us weird looks, and yeah, their constant attention could feel like too much. But for now, I could handle it.

Still, if there ever comes a time when I feel like they don’t need me anymore, I think I’ll have to step back and put some space between us—for my own sake.

To be honest, I’ve been too close to the two of them for too long.

Sure, the pressure can be overwhelming… but more than that, being around characters who sit at the very heart of the story I’ve been possessed into—it just keeps pulling me back to the original plot.
It makes me think about it. Dwell on it.

And before I know it, I’m caught up in the story again.
I hate that feeling.

I mean, wouldn’t anyone hate it? Seeing yourself act like some prophet, predicting the future because you “already know what happens in the original”…

Just as my mood started to sink, a hand popped out and lightly tapped my forehead.
I turned, wondering what it was, and saw Hee-jun frowning slightly as he touched my forehead, raising his brows.

“You’re fine. I thought you were sick or something—you weren’t saying anything.”

“Ah, I just had a lot on my mind…”

I rubbed the spot where his hand had been with my fingertips as I mumbled.
He stared at me for a moment like he was trying to judge if I was telling the truth. Then, as if convinced it really was nothing, he grabbed my hand tightly and took the lead.

As we walked the quiet path to school, we chatted about the cat he’d started raising earlier this year.
By the time the topic had shifted to things that happened over the summer, we were already at school.

Since our classrooms were on different floors, I told him to just head to his, but he insisted on walking me all the way to mine.
I stared at him for a second, then blurted out a question.

“You’re still not gonna tell me the cat’s name?”

“…Nope.”

“Seriously, why? I want to know. Is it your bank account password or something? If it is, I’ll let it go.”

Muttering about what kind of name it could possibly be to warrant all this secrecy, I watched him laugh.
His lips curled slightly, and I sighed, half-annoyed.

“You told Eun.”

“He doesn’t count.”

Not “It’s fine,” but “He doesn’t count”?
I tilted my head, confused, and drooped my eyes.

“…But why not me?”

“Not yet. I’ll tell you later. Someday.”

Hee-jun, apparently guilt-free, repeated what he’d said months ago. I almost called him out but held back.

Maybe it was because I never called its name, but the cat Hee-jun was raising never came near me. I licked my lips absently, thinking of the soft, black-furred cat I could never quite pet.

Just as I was about to open the classroom door, Hee-jun, who had been silently watching me from behind, suddenly spoke.

“Don’t just hang out with Ha-eun.”

“Huh?”

“Play with me too. I won’t ask you to come to my class—I’ll come to yours every break. So let’s hang out.”

Not that “hanging out” really involved much. We read books, did homework, or just joked around.

Well, there was one unique thing. A friend I’d grown close with over three years in the same class—Ha-jung—had a hobby of filming and uploading videos on YouTube. So when I hung out with him, I sometimes helped him shoot footage.

Point is, even then, we weren’t doing anything so exciting that it was worth using up the short break time to visit another class.

But if he wanted to come, who was I to stop him? I couldn’t think of a polite way to refuse, so after mouthing a few words, I ended up nodding.

“Mm, sure! Let’s hang out. I’ll wait, so come if you have time. You know my schedule, right?”

“Yeah.”

“If it’s not passing time, I’ll just sit in the classroom quietly and wait for you.”

I playfully said it with a shy smile. Hee-jun looked at me like I was being ridiculous, then slowly took off his headset. Maybe it was from wearing it so long, but his ears were especially red. I reached out and lightly tapped the warm earlobe.

Thinking I was teasing him, he frowned and brushed my hand away from his ear. I wasn’t trying to be annoying, so I let my hand be pushed aside without protest. Smiling gently, I waved my fingers.

“See you later.”

I watched him nod before turning and walking into the classroom. It was still early, so only a few students were there—but the two I was looking for were.

Eun was slumped over his desk, and Ha-jung was fiddling with his phone, as always. Neither seemed to have noticed me at all. Feeling mischievous, I tiptoed forward to surprise them.

I snuck up on Ha-jung first. The moment I grabbed him from behind, he shrieked, “Wahh!!” in a way that was way too funny. His reactions were always so over-the-top.

“Ha-jung.”

“Oh, fuck! You ghosted me the whole break even though we were supposed to hit the beach together, and now you show up just two days before school starts?! And this is how you greet me? I nearly had a heart attack!”

“Sounds like you’ve got a lot bottled up… But hey, keep it down. Why’re you shouting? I’m heading to Eun next.”

Ha-jung gave me a you’ve got to be kidding me look, then stretched his neck to peek over at Eun’s desk.

“He was like that when I got here too. Think he pulled an all-nighter or something? Looks like he’s still asleep. Go for it. He deserves it! I’m not suffering alone!”

“My dear Ha-jung, you’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Babe! I told you not to whisper in my ear—I’m super ticklish, remember?!”

He’d been smiling like a goof but suddenly snapped with that sharp bite of his. He even shook his head like a dog, slapping at his ear.

I remembered seeing a dog do that on YouTube when its ear was itchy. He really did look like a puppy. That fluffy brown hair, those jet-black eyes. He even acted like one. I nodded in admiration.

Well, Eun’s cute because he looks like a pretty boy, and all his actions match. I guess people really do act the way they look.

Lost in that silly thought, I quietly made my way toward Eun.

I mean, he’s definitely sulking, right?
So how do I even begin to make it up to him…?

Eun tends to hold onto emotions for a while and is the type to express them directly rather than bottle them up. If I messed this up, I might be stuck trying to make it up to him for days.

All I wanted was to get through this last semester peacefully. Even thinking about it felt exhausting.
I stood beside his desk, quietly watching his round little head for a moment, then bent down and hugged him from behind.

I wondered for a second if it was okay to do that at school—he’s not the type to be overly affectionate in public. But just as I thought, the moment I hugged him, I heard his breath catch, trembling faintly. I rested my chin on his shoulder.

“Eun-ah, I’m here. Are you really gonna stay like this?”

“…”

“You mad at me? Hmm? I’m sorry… Are you angry? Do you hate me now? Gonna pretend I don’t exist?”

I fumbled through a clumsy attempt at aegyo, whispering apologies as I clung to him.

Slowly, Eun began to sit up.

“You say that like you don’t already know.”

“I do know!”

“You know how much I like you, Un…”

“I know that too! That’s why… Since I’m someone Eun-ah really loves, can’t you forgive me just this once? I’ll do better from now on. Want me to stick to you like glue every day? Treat you like a prince?”

From the side, Ha-jung—who had somehow wandered over to spectate—muttered, “Aren’t you already doing that?”
I ignored the comment and plopped down into Eun’s chair.

It was the kind of chair that already felt too small for one big high school boy, let alone two sitting side-by-side. Even though it must’ve been cramped, Eun didn’t tell me to get off. He just quietly scooted a little to the side.

Grateful for the gesture, I carefully wedged myself into the remaining space and grinned as if I didn’t know any better.

Eun looked like he had a lot he wanted to say, but in the end, he said nothing.
That silence made me smile even wider. Eventually, he smiled back and rested his head against my shoulder.

I raised the hand that had been gripping the chair and, out of habit, began gently playing with his hair.

At that moment, a girl from our class walked past and muttered as she passed:

“Eun’s still completely obsessed with you, huh?”