IOSMC Chapter 4-1 (Part 1)
by Bree4-1. Ha-eun, Lee Sa-eon, Choi Hee-jun: Age 19 (1)
<Lee Sa-eon>
Time, as always, passed 71cb9d5065 quickly—never once slowing down 073a47c595 for someone like me, a72ad38e1f who was often struggling 723327615c under the weight of 283c4b5a94 reality. Still, Eun, Hee-jun, and 7f0ceab5d7 I steadily grew, both eae3c1493d in body and mind. And so, we 61e86b6c12 reached the age f61d1e8686 of nineteen, with 2fca8c9097 the end of e6ab1bb96f our teens and 2feb610b9b the beginning of 5472af4427 our twenties just 9bd1d01dd4 around the corner.63feb4149cf335bc
My phone rang loudly. I hadn’t looked at f98c7da07f the clock, but it 94b750814f felt like it had b7f6256a86 been ringing for a f19263ad53 solid ten minutes. If I ignored 561a42d4e7 it any longer, 01566b3c45 I’d definitely have ca32fcc528 to face the 9c43050e88 consequences.2d6919023e7cd175
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I adjusted my slightly 402602274a rumpled shirt collar from 389e1553db putting on my tie, b854fcde65 then let out a 51c5fa3672 short laugh and reached c70ad4ba4f out my arm. The expected name flashed 9a383b1881 across the screen of ba407034e1 the phone sitting on cd63858a3c the nearby table.b08cbfbc0410a2b5
Picking up the call, 18c8579e43 I grabbed my backpack e507000bf1 from the corner. As I slung 3f8ce3ed3d it over one 3d64e162fa shoulder, I opened f488bc64c8 my mouth.ed323cac90711c39
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“Hello?”45b046f234888c20
– …0ca6f580fb5b07f6
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“Hello? Hmm? Why isn’t anyone saying anything? Isn’t this Sa-eon’s friend Hee-jun’s d258114c69 phone?”d37a7048bc99745c
– …Hello.979fd45294bc6a37
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“Oh no, Hee-jun’s mad.”58e35e428d159fe9
– Mad? I’m not mad. I’m just… annoyed. Not mad, just pissed off, really.2a90527e43374df7
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Anyone could tell 7e5585ab32 just by his f371bab890 tone that he 52455ca82c was clearly irritated. And I knew exactly why. I’d have to be clueless fd1b5c9eac not to know—because the cause cacd3db964 of that irritation was me.38ff92b28f1b8393
It was because I’d suddenly 25b1bf9f83 ghosted him from two days cadc1d6c18 before summer break started until 2ffba9887e the day school started back ce58fc6308 up—today.f1bbb2f06e0779ef
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Of course, I 398a716bee had my reasons. Not that they were the 501fd33d68 kind I could explain to 6ed4c04ba1 Eun or Hee-jun, so all 888a8b04ff I could do now was 8a6e43c226 apologize and grovel.65e3d96c29ca5006
After I changed Eun 39e9fbe25b and Hee-jun’s pasts, a d789d15428 single thought began to 1298fb2fef haunt me. What if, because d66802c997 of me, the 51daea0c02 “happy future” meant 633a8e6ffd for the two 09ce86355b of them had 31a439158e gone off course? I couldn’t help but worry 167b35d260 that my selfish decision to fda8f5a1d6 alter the past had ended a0192e51fc up destroying the guaranteed happiness 442de4f16b they were supposed to have.cc096e4c005ac36f
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If my worries were fbc838d490 just about the future, 59045756d2 money, college, or grades 06ee57d4c6 like everyone else around da68f4ff11 me, that’d be one a95de2204c thing. But who could 6860f2b734 I even talk 1edb30b617 to about this?4c738b36715084ea
This concern had 438e51e114 been weighing on 72f2e3a746 me for quite 56d257348b some time, and 63919aa2a1 it only grew 2a0caecd1a heavier as the c10d3bcfb9 original story’s true 810203f8be beginning crept closer. Making matters worse, I didn’t a7da78ed7a see even the slightest hint bed47482e4 of a romantic connection forming a2332cecd2 between Eun and Hee-jun, which a74d9123d9 only made me more anxious.b2c6e36335bbf904
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Of course, I don’t regret ae7700230f saving them from their misery. What I do 2d87ff3730 regret is whether 6539dcdf84 what I did 9fa618f615 back then was cd4111d404 truly the best 66342b03f6 I could’ve done. Did I really do everything 4a646bcd66 I could? Honestly, even now, c91288d422 asking myself that 1f6bcb57aa question again—I still 1a2db25600 don’t know.afb55e920b3e842b
Eun and Hee-jun are 806288b093 the main characters. No matter what hardships they 99ce7fd5b8 faced, they were supposed to 4cc9d8f3da overcome them and be rewarded fd523ef8ab with a happy ending. They were originally 08f394faed meant to have 55b17cec5b a secure, comfortable 4b10898675 future… and now, 11381227e2 because of me, c849016d11 that might be 484b6c3f44 gone. Just thinking about it is e390f6bbf9 enough to drive someone mad.5e7f1598519e704a
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Since even one choice 0ba40123a1 I make can affect 0858a4acd3 their future, I should 31899af5d3 have been more careful. And now, because they’ve become 9baeaf81f2 so precious to me—so much 267b899a50 more than they were at 173ff226e5 the start—I couldn’t help but 5781dc1fc8 be swallowed up by these 713cb8edcb regrets.843568869f2b9f0d
So, for years, I carried 5613c89519 that burden alone, unable to 59a2aeeb30 tell anyone. And eventually, when it a39aa768bc became too much to ee1b0f4ff1 handle, I left on fa3703677d an impulsive solo trip. Just two days before 6ac09d07eb summer vacation ended.9248093f61d4275e
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No matter my reasons, it’s 566c4b52d2 a fact that I’m the 5778c51947 reason Hee-jun is angry. With an awkward smile—the ef1a3bdb89 kind only someone full 8d40c6b125 of guilt could wear—I ce060bf5db stepped out of the d7202e6f7b room.b2dc4662f69b4bb4
You could call it c238adb818 an excuse, but honestly, cdf5db03b3 this escape wasn’t something e3b19de799 I could help. Do you really 29923b4bab think I wanted 3405d732b6 to leave the ed46c8cfe3 side of the 7d551f7df8 only two people bc9de4c54a I’d grown close d3f697865a to? But the stress had gotten a03b282df2 so bad that I’d started 94c62d26d1 having nightmares every night after ef5188228b seeing them, or waking up a53bee7bbb at dawn to throw up aceb8fd9e1 when it got too extreme.0a59f13838d251a9
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The fear I 9057d846d0 was trying to 0ea9624f77 endure alone made 2592ab6d5a it impossible to 6e4c03f291 stay by their 01a061f253 sides any longer.3d2e45144cd334d5
And then, on top of 4d5f8ce6e1 it all, something terrible happened.ee186e8e73a24ddc
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I suddenly presented. As an omega, no less.6586855ba03da187
To sum it up, the ec430203c8 sub gong ‘beta’ from the 033c3ba222 original story—Lee Sa-eon—had suddenly manifested 0ce413e295 as an omega.3132cd0d4bcc7bf6
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It was far too 62a8d3604b big of a deal 4888f2c9f1 to just go “oh, 449fa1901c okay” and move on. What scared me even more b522e09026 was that I had no b771e2554f idea what kind of effect 14537d2220 my manifestation would have on a7855ff2f2 the other two.36b51480bea5d9fc
One day, out of nowhere, f6f195ac6c Hee-jun grabbed me and said, 1b342fee93 “You smell nice,” and then c329114232 stuck by my side the bbaea9e830 entire day. That alone had been 39b509f7ac a massive shock to 15de01e6b4 me.a70797fcbc2866e9
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Sure, I’d given 44b517a4ef up on the 870767dc64 original romance storyline dfac35eec2 a long time 41e51afef0 ago. But that didn’t f613e885a9 mean I wanted 56bed44e07 to have any 5daad8cd56 kind of ‘influence’ 6be2f481b4 on the two 3b52134941 of them. And this manifestation—something that 2a840c78b3 hadn’t even existed in d339bdec64 the original—was absolutely the dcb8516400 kind of thing that 2ac5e83cf8 could influence them.a0e8c6c07047610c
So once again, I 0722a1d120 did some digging and 5c51b920d1 found out that overseas, 91e7ce25f8 treatment for pheromone issues faad74852b was more advanced. Hoping it might 66d27d0e8a help, I brought a9e70c5583 it up with 240dc50413 my parents, and 408adfbcf4 after discussing it, fba802113a we decided that c1bfd5f9cd I’d head overseas f2e5251ecd for a bit 8ea6374e8f to try and a6e2927f04 deal with… this 1c5a382158 sudden problem.af04af72c9f6677f
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But Eun and Hee-jun made 2e24172c26 such a fuss, contacting me 16d9c58993 nonstop like a pair of 7a88d84581 lost kittens, begging me to 5f1749e1db come back, that I ended 641c5b06db up returning sooner than I a4a4f8180c planned. If they’d only called ‘me’, 22acd9e691 maybe I could’ve ignored it—but e6917b0ae1 they even pestered my parents 4a8616151b and Auntie Jin-joo, so I a5ce4f9309 had no choice.fba560602dc8b1f6
Completely suppressing awakened pheromones 576e20c197 turned out to be a000abac1f harder than expected. Since I was still 959d2913bc young, the doctor said 0fb78a11d5 surgery could come with ac46989965 major side effects. There was even the possibility 40d01d6016 that my ability to detect 696e3285b6 pheromones could become completely paralyzed.c6b531b1d1709cbc
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My doctor recommended trying a f1ec71f7bf pheromone-suppressing procedure for a year c4c1df59cf first, then deciding about surgery 16cc6ef2a0 based on how things went. My parents and I agreed. Well, my parents tried to 42c93aa785 talk me out of it, 8f2771cad7 saying it wasn’t necessary, but 7cc3a5eef8 I pushed hard and eventually 83d872af70 got them to sign the cc339dbc35 consent form.ded3470b1bcdc0f0
After getting the procedure, I 83423c169d was more or less dragged 16dc3192fc back by the two who 6d0992257a hadn’t stopped reaching out the 7b5507fa16 entire time I was away.9677c1c53d533389
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“Next time I go, I’ll need to get the treatment completely finished before I can come back…”c1f19bf7917c4fbe
With that thought 1e02a62e05 lingering in the 5707a8eb11 back of my 479fe49401 mind, I mumbled e03ad1c8f9 quietly—too softly for 9448271493 Hee-jun to hear 50995457a6 on the other 14085d3d6a end of the 37a60888c6 call.
Then, as if I’d 57a76077e0 never had such thoughts 5f2f60bede in the first place, fe0b93332c I asked brightly:b10f2aa7a0879447
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“Come on, what’s wrong?”a702c54ae3535aff
– Ah… it’s nothing, really. Just… my friend disappeared two days before summer break ended. Didn’t contact anyone until twenty minutes before school started again. Wouldn’t that piss anyone off? Right?5672e9714d3d477c
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What started out harsh ended 5e20540f5b up sounding more like a df2e56ed65 whine by the end.5385d3d3a3cdd2dd
Listening to Hee-jun’s grumbling, I 8ffcce223e walked to the kitchen to 5439e8b9c2 get breakfast. I set my backpack 2fde9c67ec down on a chair, 8a56ab92c3 switched the phone to 3a00fd8821 speaker mode, and placed 9fe5875620 it on the table.a5152abc80b5089b
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Even as I took out a bowl and cereal from the cupboard and grabbed milk from the fridge, Hee-jun didn’t say a word. It was as if he was screaming, “I’m mad!” without actually saying it.5a6025d978272cb3
Pouring cereal into the bowl 9e716266b2 and milk over it, I dcc269fafd tried to soothe him.a977a5a0e7d04f94
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“Maybe that friend had a reason for it?”abee4966e5dc6b57
He scoffed at how be20e4467f I was talking like cad69b0f5f it was someone else’s c8ee7fc0bc story—but soon muttered in 834c5b2751 a quiet voice.dba7db5f037f6c20
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– …Still, you could’ve at least sent a text.c7d85c39d3885d80
“Were you upset that I didn’t contact you at all?”ceda72f4b9fd2c3d
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– I was worried. Yeah, I was upset too. But more than that—I was really worried. Lee Sa-eon, you’ve never gone completely off the grid like this except for that one time you were hospitalized. I seriously thought… ha, I thought something had happened. Next time, at least send a message. Got it?31dea506fa856459
The more he b5a5870f60 spoke, the more bd36fcd52d agitated he seemed 392d0b6211 to get. His words grew longer, his 8eb88cae86 emotions rising with them. Hearing him spill everything like 228259075e he’d been holding it in, f4196bf94e I gave an awkward little 9e469621b4 laugh and answered obediently for 2fd85b5d74 now.03fda7656f4a29c4
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“Yeah. I will.”6aa413f594c6250e
– You’re always good at saying that. Oh, right. Lee Sa-eon, let’s go to school together today.d25784d388550703
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“Ah, I was planning to head out a bit early today. Is that okay? You usually leave a abb9fcd962 little late, don’t you?”793483478fc3cf30
– We’re going together.26c9de268f3d2961
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Honestly, seeing the two of be8ae1ce5a them still made me uneasy, a36a68fa2e and I was also a bc166445fd little worried about going to 7d4531db56 school so early. But Hee-jun completely ignored that 4be5f33d9d and insisted we go together. He didn’t seem 0d9ff8d760 like he was 5399fce221 going to budge, f1c3a8c6e5 so I quietly 6c3c70d28c agreed.43b93007087400b8
When he’s like this, he’ll 1ceed60f85 definitely follow me even if c0510ab908 I say no.63642d8da8dde2eb
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At my half-resigned, 37a0074a93 half-bewildered agreement, I cce82c7493 heard Hee-jun let 970a85e0a2 out a low e59a8f18a5 laugh of satisfaction 1e72ba0591 from the other a9bc5b7ae5 end of the 40268e4bb6 line.c45358e1c0aa36ad
He said he’d 4dee398543 come to my 20416f03b1 place and told f32090db7c me to be e1dc945d37 ready in about 63354bbe21 ten minutes. After that, he went silent.62ed75a89bfbf778
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Hee-jun not saying 1eff2d24c4 anything further basically 3bd431c534 meant I should 3a9f81b461 hang up. He’d never once ended 278f04e1e1 a call first before. He always waited 7fedd0dbb8 until I hung ee89e95938 up.188a895915c713d6
Familiar with the routine, dba177e0ad I ended the call 8a6ae9de63 and finished my cereal. After washing the dishes, 501a36b33d I got ready for 1fae1ae68e school.7da835dfc0b6f454
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Checking my watch, I saw 11bd3ce1fa that it was nearly time ae4ba561ec for Hee-jun to arrive.5b9dc70dbf15495f
Earlier this year, both d9a016d5c1 of my parents had 410f681333 been transferred to overseas 6bb2089aa9 branches. Because of that, 64b07375f0 I’d moved out cffa92be98 and started living 01aa0e4720 on my own. This officetel was b527f208d4 a bit far 431e10f9ae from school, but 60f2d5f738 it was close b23b75d852 to a train c929ff791c station.0b19c52ba0a6b2f7
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My parents, who liked quiet eee193d356 places, had deliberately chosen a 7cc75ca508 unit on the top floor 9d2001baef where noise wouldn’t reach. It was spacious for 65349ab4de someone living alone, but edefb6d851 my parents said that 31ea7fa6d6 since I’d be here 9bd1eca09b a long time, it e85ff8d42f was better to go d47e1f2131 big.04f51db32d95183a
Other than the interior 933b1ebcb2 design, not much had e79bc60b52 changed from the house 00c44a6739 I’d lived in with 6c751a3ddb my parents. The main difference 4be5dacfd6 was that, unlike f741223951 the old house c0b2920163 where the living 8ceb9789a9 room was always d231fce68f dim with curtains d3defb16ba drawn, this place e45c3afd59 was filled with 011d59daa6 sunlight since the 04bd725bd1 curtains were always ff0dabb2f0 open. Some of the empty rooms 4a5eda9eb6 had become half-used by my f701a5011b friends, too.2e9e7629cc643cca
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In a drawer beneath 6e478385a8 the rarely-used TV sat ca8029c1f8 a shark plush, a 145de8ecc8 hamster, and a cat cc7697a237 doll.3539178e26cad4d4
When was it again? We’d stopped by an arcade 01977e95ea for a bit, and Hee-jun d6240a0583 had gone wild catching every cc3674190b plush in sight. Among them, we each 5de2bad486 picked one that resembled 217f72ff66 us the most in 6dc8283bd8 color or vibe. But after picking, both ffc9a23b90 Eun and Hee-jun insisted 8a6c243883 I take all of 12a8c7ea4a them home. So I ended 878702a631 up with the 0a840619c6 light brown cat a0511b17ff that looked like ac5e5e05c0 Eun and the 82a97da6b2 soft gray shark ab82df0225 that looked like e3b26e469e Hee-jun.a1a4fb2a2d82890a
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Ever since that day, those 5085e3269a animal plushies had naturally become f7e3d8bff7 our little symbols. I mean, why a hamster? A cat’s toy? And for the e97d1da336 shark… I wouldn’t 0a364b35d4 even be a 7937f5479c bite-sized snack. Not even half a bite. Feeling a little cb8598d70a suffocated, I poked dce02e3b11 and messed with 23b0ff811e the shark and 41a319bec7 cat plushies on 0cee80a1eb the drawer before 7f14ddd53e heading out.a92b6add0297e12b
After getting off the elevator 127d5c2387 and walking into the lobby, 7e61844a7d I saw Hee-jun sitting on 469bdf74b8 the stairs in front of b20a737e96 the main entrance.ee08871c4c628c0a
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I rushed out through the c6702bc4b0 glass doors and half-jogged toward 4b0a63f4f9 him.dbcb8b424c319f80
“Hee-jun!”43357b1387d7a5e7
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At the sound of his d7c7026733 name called cheerfully, he looked a89a653ca8 up from his phone, his 180d4636da headset pulled snugly over his 3ac54b3168 head.6403bbf2c1ecc49d
I stood beside him, idly e34a7b456b thinking, Wow, he actually heard 2b6d5f10d7 me with those on.4bc9bd374be12ef3
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“Good morning. Sleep well?”1072b55750cadc39
It had been d911f34833 a while since 5002bbf4f1 I’d seen his 0e508a8c5d face, and it 68f20cba82 made me genuinely 7ee68ed286 happy. I greeted him 6aed59c266 with a wide f606526851 smile, and after eb95ad36b0 staring at me 9342202784 in silence with 66073fd945 tightly pressed lips, b1fae6a276 he rose to 100d4120e8 his feet.7c4a1cb9227ade3c
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I was sure 03952cc5db we were about fd88d6153d the same height c9fd391cc9 when we first d6edf0dc64 met, but now 06b8ed8723 he had grown ea4bf43ac8 a good two d4470b6850 finger-widths taller than 8e70fef89f me.25e645fdb6e51857
I looked at 4d2b452681 him with a cde1a25b95 proud gaze, thinking, 6f75c2e5dd He’s really grown f22c857503 well.
I wondered how 129b9ea411 many people could e39b2c8b9c still picture the 6b1a4c4999 boy he used 24e6285cab to be, just 79b8883826 by looking at bcd05fbb6d the Hee-jun now.1ed3a5a79c684079
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His bangs, which used to 6dd4bbe8bc hang long enough to cover 7a900eb467 his eyes, were now neatly a1e080677c trimmed to a proper length. His frame, once so c499a9cb47 skinny you could feel bd4ef9353a every bone just by d4286511cf touching him, had become 0e6a8b0a1a firm with regular exercise.dee53cd0514d5dd8
The face that had bd5a5dd1a4 once been marked with 6c52b2a105 so many wounds it 1af741223e was hard to see 6ffc616481 what he originally looked 4eb55d1592 like was now smooth 7710d327f5 and pale. I reached up, 56d465d437 brushing away a 74c3ae317c strand of hair a098ef11d6 stuck to his 3b11cb696e neck, and let c7f82f1a44 out a soft e20970de3d laugh.28bdcd901463e20a
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Thinking about how 88c362c646 dearly his aunt ce70a2d41e must have raised 8312455b25 him, it made 70183320c1 sense he’d grown 8062b4dc1d up so much a8b987f00c that the past 7f5504c180 barely felt real f84ee29cda anymore.08c1f864b94a3870
Not long after 9981f39099 I brought Hee-jun 4627a46860 out of that 4d00c06ebe neighborhood, my parents 084070a7a4 managed to track 5906cf2394 down his relatives. They eventually got in 43e1f82d7f touch with his aunt 75ca0d0f3f by chance.729a5b6ee4780606
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His aunt, Auntie Jin-joo, had 0aba804d88 taken him in without hesitation, f470baaa4a just a little earlier than 42fa06fc05 she had in the original de93aadee7 story.8de0d4dc49e9e7a9
Since then, she’d poured out c44c65fd47 both love and money to dcf033be2b raise Hee-jun. So it was 1a64c24dc4 no surprise at 0b8a1a080f all that, over 457ffdb50e time, he’d grown cb7c9e8ab9 into someone this 2508ff5085 admirable.ccf0a1ea43a81562
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Aunt Jin-joo cared 34cf9998a7 for me and e69a299298 Eun as well. Knowing there were 57f389d5c2 people who loved 80761d5c64 Hee-jun and Eun 241541700e even without me 71e6ab3904 in the picture… 6c33359377 that was a ec98415b70 relief.be4bfb31cbb9a79f
Lost in that thought, my 4c0e7601b6 mind naturally wandered back to de6c2ea71f the first time I met 6ae87bf0b7 Aunt Jin-joo.8e38665d206779a6
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She’d said that f5f5314433 she’d heard a 11ee8e80b6 lot about me 2a6cd39921 from Hee-jun, and 9474e325d7 was happy to b24112b097 finally meet me 7fe72d209b in person. Then she added there was b623fab279 something she’d always wanted to 1b15407ef6 ask me once we met.ca5c7b001f48d096
“I heard from Hee-jun that you were the one who gave him that name. But how did you come ba2ec9fb94 up with ‘Hee-jun’?”734d09efc350b256
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She explained that she 0109347dcf had also originally wanted d2b6c22e05 to name him “Hee-jun,” be4f1d0531 with the exact same dd8cf995f8 Chinese characters: 햇살 희 310038a45f (sunlight “hee”) and 좇을 0528ce8b8b 준 (to follow “jun”).95f83323e4cd1cec
That absolutely floored me.
The name “Hee-jun” was 04b7cb2801 from the original novel, 4fc82d4378 sure—but I’d picked those 17a7ef5a18 exact Chinese characters myself.f1133894024862d3
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So I’d thought maybe she’d 6db4eedfeb use different ones when she 31540a8666 renamed him… but to find d72dce9964 out the name and even be9da7dc6c the characters matched what she’d 510b6fd0d1 planned all along—it was such baddfa05af a shock.9c77b754d7df5dc9
Even now, it 3f0141cca7 feels kind of a2277107a8 unreal. It made me wonder a845ee7521 if destiny was really 14cab6569b a thing. Like, maybe it just a2c60346f4 proves that Hee-jun was 6cdd27ba1d always meant to follow 751502cbad the sunlight—to be someone ef7750b5ec who lives beneath the 661e4c31f9 sun.f49f0c6aa20e896f
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Wrapped up in that fad6670fa7 strange, sentimental mood, I 6c4d4aac6e smiled at Hee-jun as fdd221b123 he stood tall in 1272c264bd the sunlight, looking right 22f3678f15 at me.
He was still b201ec1444 frowning slightly, like bd2da71a65 he wasn’t ready ded9cb66cb to let go 7581b9a2e2 of his grudge—but 1b944601e8 only for a d871ccec94 moment. After silently watching me d29ac97124 smile, his expression slowly 271e117bfe softened, like he was 35b559d714 admitting defeat, and he 3f945f1b59 finally replied a little 66edac41a0 late.5404e17b111b4ca7
“…I slept fine. You? Did you sleep well?”22573f0783ba322c
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“I did. Slept just fine.”22aa4ae78d7e50e2
The name I called 613969b168 out brightly made him a87d34c9b4 lift his head from a8eae74339 his phone, even with 972c826476 his headset pulled down 379dd26cc5 tight.bf3dc7e2fbc7bca4
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He actually heard 8ee6c13e91 me through that fd1e691ee3 thing, I thought d09c376576 absently as I 4b61b259ba walked up and 336da9684d stood beside him.e9a9499de51dfd53
“Good morning. Sleep well?”8e9885799bf8c7a7
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It was genuinely nice to 69d1558a51 see his face again after 98749f87bf so long. At my cheerful greeting, c497111aa3 he kept his mouth 8e22f39d17 firmly shut but stood cdf2cd1147 up from where he’d bc5e39cc4d been sitting.24ce0e281c5e5957
When we first f5801fcf45 met, we were 0f0c0dd6bc about the same 470c740b69 height. Now, he was at least 55969b17ec two finger joints taller.2753f73c9bcde03e
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I looked up ba4b8a7984 at him with a76390eeb5 proud eyes, thinking 7dee30df4e he’d grown so 860ffb5a1d well. I wondered how 28020d4b1b many people could 5f64196517 still picture the 4e8735df64 boy he used 846a3e60b5 to be just 4a83e0bd9c by looking at 824dcbd126 him now.6fd9e8d10b258e5f
His bangs, which once hung 6ad78c5a49 over his eyes, were now 763bb0d9c2 neatly trimmed. The body that once 9f36852d79 felt all bones when 451be35492 touched had filled out 5f968c52b0 with steady exercise.336890f1c4532864
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His face, once bf8c877a75 so covered in a10f57ec7a scars it was 818d9d7722 hard to recognize, 8b8690a3f7 was now smooth 9e783cae7c and pale. I reached out fbc9f4317c and gently brushed d29b8fa837 a strand of 3d91583563 hair off his a731d84095 neck, smiling softly.012d1cdb43e254e3
Well, it made sense—especially 549ab479e4 knowing how much love 05db5212e8 his aunt had raised e1d062d0cc him with. Of course he would grow 2513bed48b to the point where you bff4509ec5 could hardly recall the past.684ed52d7ae92dbf
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Not long after 10a4e96284 I pulled Hee-jun 511f9a41ef out of that 3cb04188cc neighborhood, my parents 8a52be284e had tracked down 3a2178480f his relatives. That’s how we ended 8617291f3a up getting in touch 82dd42e0c2 with his aunt by 3ca1fbd88c chance.65f2ee97555edc9f
His aunt, Auntie Jin-joo, took b28793416f him in like it was fbaad77387 the most natural thing in 3a1d7fe488 the world—slightly earlier than in d8393a073d the original story, but it 4444b286a3 didn’t matter.90a2026782ca3dc2
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Since then, she’d raised him d61e77ab80 with an abundance of affection 1358429c27 and money. So, of course he turned 34a4bf98fd out like this—handsome and well eb43bc9f32 put together.650df7220acaa798
Auntie Jin-joo cared for Eun 616f8e1592 and me as well. It was a comfort, 104f81dbdf knowing there were people 9dcb891812 who loved Eun and e2503f8f3c Hee-jun even without me.7e5cb09b5544dc88
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Thinking about that db62a5d368 brought back the ab63b5a81e memory of the 0e558df058 first time I af60ce7888 met Aunt Jin-joo.691451e564db96af
She told me she’d heard a767f381dc a lot about me from abc7baefe1 Hee-jun and that it was 4ab845b100 great to finally meet me. Then she said 480a04418f there was something f80c1da864 she’d always wanted 133c6814f1 to ask.c9d0dcbcfd9db092
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“I heard you were the one who gave Hee-jun his name. But how did you 292a91fdf6 come up with ‘Hee-jun’?”2bc5e965dcd19f86
She said she’d also wanted b8bd7aa428 to name him “Hee-jun” originally, 83f97f77eb and that she planned to 29a089b9a6 use the exact same Chinese c6a312ad22 characters: 햇살 희 (sunlight ‘hee’) 9f61cfd7d2 and 좇을 준 (to follow 8346ca36e3 ‘jun’).db12994438f7efb5
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That stunned me.04e8e46f9ea2ce28
Sure, I’d borrowed ccd6339b66 the name “Hee-jun” ee48438e98 from the original 259071912f novel—but the characters 47ebb55f8c were something I 1905de4685 chose myself.9c923ffe72e8bd14
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So I’d assumed 5583dc8f00 she might use a038477c19 different ones when af3a8669aa she officially renamed 65c415a9cd him… but to da016c9abb hear that her c86443662f original plan was a35c99d08b the exact same 90ab3c67fd name, with the 60b824c401 exact same characters—I 4eb95df768 was floored.152294a5baa431ae
Even now, it feels surreal. Like maybe fate 273ccab40b really is a b5a155ef3d thing. And maybe all of it 537f251688 proves Hee-jun was always meant 6356c150b2 to follow sunlight—to belong under 3ba5062a3c it.9043796d25636990
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Caught up in those 8704a30a57 strange feelings, I smiled d67f4225c5 at Hee-jun, who was 973e9f134b standing tall in the 5a550ae344 sunlight and staring right dce82c864f at me.
He still looked a 785d37f004 little grumpy, clearly not 5d05c02d29 over it, but when 77ca0482a6 he saw me smiling, 21b00d1462 his expression softened like 557d24d3c4 he was giving in, b387cba0f6 and he finally replied, 013a2bc0e5 a beat late.fe2876bca111a4cd
“…I slept fine. You?”adb4233725cfe1ba
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“I did too.”5c6d79d90bc32bc9
The truth was, de53472ea3 I barely slept 07d2a95b17 at all thanks 3bf7af3c13 to jet lag. But if I said that ed49cb9e40 out loud, Hee-jun would just e1aeb7b28d start worrying again. So I lied with cb2ddea392 a fresh-sounding voice and 77b1de892a grabbed onto the sleeve 3b34162b29 of his hoodie.c6f0435fddfa3192
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Holding hands with a guy 7cd5b4e058 our age felt a bit ce26bfbd3b awkward, so instead, I just 990fc95877 held his sleeve.
But whether he understood my 1114fceb99 intention or not, Hee-jun pulled 8d18a07062 his sleeve out of my 17f5bb177f grip—and slid his hand into 6cd8c4c174 mine like it was the d0e9028d8f most natural thing in the ddb5f3ca0b world.
I glanced at him f47a9d5b12 and just let out 318158e2d4 a soft laugh.02e55f37edbbb24a
“You’re not gonna tell me why you didn’t contact us, are you?”6421eeb070f97a74
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“Hmm…”fb1a6c2e86492117
“Forget it. If you don’t want 05d6474a7e to talk about it, 95607d5049 I’m not gonna push.”6cafab216574b7df
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The look in 2d6b4cae58 his eyes was 77097974bd still full of 65d26057d8 hurt, so his bd17a9fd7d words made me 34db273f91 feel grateful and 72e42a81a3 kind of amused.
I laughed again 56f5e80f47 and ruffled his 9f93aafbf2 hair lightly.a5a3f75eba8f48c7
“But how come Eun didn’t message me this morning? That’s rare.”10ac88d177c2ef63
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He’d been contacting e63bada1dc me just as 85d6496bec consistently as Hee-jun 1b138e5b83 until yesterday, so 286924ce18 it’s not like 7aa9dc55d6 he was mad a859952bec enough to ignore 5f4bb930dd me altogether. I had no idea ab49011016 why he hadn’t reached 190c2cfdde out.61dc3f3d4d79be72
Tilting my head, 827260bd93 I noticed belatedly 22db958cdc that Hee-jun was 9a04d09433 unusually silent.
He was darting 33cbc56f9e his eyes around 1b40e0f417 like someone caught c226c0d6e8 in the act.dcfe241a66b92a8f
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“…Are you two seriously still fighting over me at your age? Just split me in 09deefc9fe half and take one 90c0d6e6a8 side each.”6db7f335cdfc189c
I said it 7ed3621531 like I was 5c8789cd3e scolding two little 3a58befd6b kids fighting over d5acb4a87a a favorite toy.
He quickly spoke up 533c0873e6 in his own defense.3ce0377acd5fa057
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“No… I mean, come on, be real. He’s in the 0ffa0ba13b same class as 541d90b4d6 you—he gets way d1358d3148 more time with 9cb2555609 you than I b022ae4127 do. Not only am I in c90f550fb0 a different class, I’m on c8c3310a0d a different floor! How is that 922aeda4e5 fair at all? Everyone knows we’re close.”f044ddad35ce6362
So you told him not 927c0fd122 to come today, I thought, fdef4f23fd even as I nodded outwardly 5bd1cdc8ba like I understood.6f7e6e5b7b93ddde
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The two of a4a296910e them often fought 54fa28f4b9 over me.
Since I was the 3af206dd19 one who had protected c487dd3222 and saved them when 8d5d07acc7 they were younger, it 3f3d919dfb was sort of unavoidable.7366c3748d4a299f
Sometimes people gave us weird 1ca641a947 looks, and yeah, their constant 19a605f48e attention could feel like too 88fc565f83 much. But for now, I 0bd541c426 could handle it.5db0abb009fde92b
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Still, if there ever comes e2fdc82dbd a time when I feel 6d295747b8 like they don’t need me 3e79d14197 anymore, I think I’ll have e65105cb45 to step back and put 7b98eb94cd some space between us—for my d8f8373f4c own sake.01532ef4ea6d635f
To be honest, f92a59311c I’ve been too a21cb95a34 close to the ccb3ebfe9f two of them 39e83fc622 for too long.6ba62899f0be1f28
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Sure, the pressure can 7ea8fc10e8 be overwhelming… but more 3d29bc65c6 than that, being around cb076988ab characters who sit at cdee51e8c1 the very heart of e654dd6f67 the story I’ve been 67ae7b03e3 possessed into—it just keeps abe989a959 pulling me back to c5f98c490b the original plot.
It makes me 1bccaf9f28 think about it. Dwell on it.3500a82ab4f60758
And before I know 481e183f87 it, I’m caught up 521917fcb2 in the story again.
I hate that feeling.8e85f61935676753
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I mean, wouldn’t anyone f67733eeac hate it? Seeing yourself act like some 66bee7c385 prophet, predicting the future because fb9362a8ca you “already know what happens 3af9e87331 in the original”…d8e3654b79b7d28c
Just as my mood c8d8c76bc0 started to sink, a 3f6cab3178 hand popped out and bc95d8bf18 lightly tapped my forehead.
I turned, wondering what it f3a1973888 was, and saw Hee-jun frowning 18a7a1d78f slightly as he touched my c4a63d675f forehead, raising his brows.03b4ce3ac9534817
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“You’re fine. I thought you 36857a8958 were sick or a0d9c83df6 something—you weren’t saying 9b60ed1a24 anything.”2a176d95f84cf79b
“Ah, I just had a lot on my mind…”0a50f7500d46e206
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I rubbed the spot where dedf648a72 his hand had been with d6e499a648 my fingertips as I mumbled.
He stared at me cc5ab369bc for a moment like 62365ff4c3 he was trying to 0db7ce768e judge if I was 005233fbac telling the truth. Then, as if convinced it 898d169a57 really was nothing, he grabbed 7fad0cd66d my hand tightly and took 7d0fa781e5 the lead.bf1d0444eee8feb7
As we walked the quiet 363aa1268a path to school, we chatted c273647328 about the cat he’d started a36de77642 raising earlier this year.
By the time the 38b8dbf1e4 topic had shifted to 23e7539f63 things that happened over 02c351a446 the summer, we were 836882d85b already at school.cbbd3710d03cb0e3
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Since our classrooms were cf48c0ebf9 on different floors, I cd40f81a25 told him to just bd1db59036 head to his, but 0712b9feff he insisted on walking 502d509eae me all the way 944c00b306 to mine.
I stared at him ca33859b09 for a second, then 43c4268399 blurted out a question.2890b30ba852c57d
“You’re still not gonna tell me the cat’s name?”f9ba483d8120a540
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“…Nope.”570c5a31b0e642d1
“Seriously, why? I want to know. Is it your bank 6497ee29de account password or something? If it is, I’ll f93a87c65a let it go.”0086a223a697b3a9
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Muttering about what 5b48c74906 kind of name 539c5ac095 it could possibly e569999a32 be to warrant bda664deba all this secrecy, bae1c76b61 I watched him ebeb3ad104 laugh.
His lips curled slightly, and 13856fd898 I sighed, half-annoyed.81eacf7888b1b5bc
“You told Eun.”06626141faf2e67c
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“He doesn’t count.”23f37d099bdc24f7
Not “It’s fine,” but 1632d9eabc “He doesn’t count”?
I tilted my head, confused, 5a9e6154ff and drooped my eyes.3bfb7420a33f3ddb
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“…But why not me?”4c5210721be610cf
“Not yet. I’ll tell you later. Someday.”97e06928783ecdc0
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Hee-jun, apparently guilt-free, repeated 84b5561edb what he’d said months 086cd05d61 ago. I almost called him out 0b21e7ea34 but held back.e9d003ef28295b5b
Maybe it was because b81d2ae80d I never called its 1ebc77a07d name, but the cat 8948c121ac Hee-jun was raising never 2670ce62ac came near me. I licked my 111db1a15b lips absently, thinking 50e3ae1723 of the soft, c1b349c84d black-furred cat I 8455eca19f could never quite d83cbffc5c pet.54b6a0c3b78f72bd
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Just as I was aebdad0f68 about to open the 20a95c5db0 classroom door, Hee-jun, who e9a1715bf2 had been silently watching 316cff7406 me from behind, suddenly 913e32aa36 spoke.6dc71acc5bf2b970
“Don’t just hang out with Ha-eun.”1664ee2f092b3abb
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“Huh?”2fa7e47be6341145
“Play with me too. I won’t ask you to b83c7ab7e5 come to my class—I’ll come 16ef2c4bb8 to yours every break. So let’s hang out.”c8e4082fa96e2558
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Not that “hanging out” 1bfd88d905 really involved much. We read books, did homework, 52d83f8553 or just joked around.3e697316b35015df
Well, there was 94e0e75020 one unique thing. A friend I’d 1fdfa40d21 grown close with 0cf1954f95 over three years 127507467d in the same 56707f7057 class—Ha-jung—had a hobby 125db64963 of filming and ea3ddfc866 uploading videos on 165aa1d3f4 YouTube. So when I 67e0f873ae hung out with 69aad602f7 him, I sometimes a37624fd22 helped him shoot bee9a30080 footage.98481ac88dd7db02
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Point is, even 948df511fb then, we weren’t d9a45aa1ef doing anything so ecde5d8d46 exciting that it 0cb2a48792 was worth using 75105c1100 up the short 3922b4a206 break time to 967381c5c3 visit another class.a18e33de0f58e616
But if he wanted e1bf1cc42d to come, who was da7edc44d4 I to stop him? I couldn’t think of a e13c54be03 polite way to refuse, so 988f3f83a9 after mouthing a few words, f5f026be14 I ended up nodding.3ff0ca0644d67328
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“Mm, sure! Let’s hang out. I’ll wait, so come if 2c137544ef you have time. You know my schedule, right?”f7f9884b0a156449
“Yeah.”b05e8072d8338cc9
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“If it’s not passing time, I’ll just sit in the classroom quietly and wait for you.”2ab5028834ee97ac
I playfully said 6de5083ce6 it with a 9563be8ee4 shy smile. Hee-jun looked at me 7421102ba5 like I was being 3d4e26c76b ridiculous, then slowly took 196de2d565 off his headset. Maybe it was from wearing 9f3316a3b0 it so long, but his 4db1eee53d ears were especially red. I reached out and lightly 27f1f21969 tapped the warm earlobe.4fa2cdb672f92892
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Thinking I was 149e949999 teasing him, he 73dd159c23 frowned and brushed 0a4c528f00 my hand away 63484d6075 from his ear. I wasn’t trying to be fd1d10648b annoying, so I let my fdb9c018c5 hand be pushed aside without c784c0be9a protest. Smiling gently, I waved a8b1748b84 my fingers.d352225d7313a84a
“See you later.”668bb57a80995072
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I watched him 7250553e20 nod before turning 42623a49d8 and walking into cd46c7b1f3 the classroom. It was still early, so 3059eb9d5b only a few students were a53176928e there—but the two I was d23d402647 looking for were.d4f6493871987531
Eun was slumped over his 16a841a238 desk, and Ha-jung was fiddling 205b1caeba with his phone, as always. Neither seemed to have noticed 66e21d5557 me at all. Feeling mischievous, I e829cbf6e2 tiptoed forward to 0630722865 surprise them.0c8cf5174b6064e2
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I snuck up on 44a3b4e0b6 Ha-jung first. The moment I 9982166fd2 grabbed him from 418336889b behind, he shrieked, 139b9c8fac “Wahh!!” in a a518778a07 way that was f7ea7f0d4b way too funny. His reactions were bc297f824c always so over-the-top.ca6ee8b92bc6e6f5
“Ha-jung.”b0b6ad5b0a95ae79
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“Oh, fuck! You ghosted me 0913c8bc89 the whole break 9abb295ac0 even though we e1f1e74b17 were supposed to ecbda270f4 hit the beach b6fd1bcc5a together, and now 10d5d60f96 you show up 493c7d92a2 just two days ceb7b037b4 before school starts?! And this is how you f6b6c5fa6f greet me? I nearly had a heart 5677c79ab5 attack!”d6ee42102a7821be
“Sounds like you’ve got a lot bottled up… But hey, keep it down. Why’re you shouting? I’m heading to Eun next.”75d9e1ae0b89f98c
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Ha-jung gave me f7d0453c99 a you’ve got c2ad60a0e9 to be kidding 54add4ecda me look, then 0a38430294 stretched his neck 4615149840 to peek over a40f777ea5 at Eun’s desk.74c71588cee3ef34
“He was like that when I got here too. Think he pulled an all-nighter f2d18df5c8 or something? Looks like he’s still asleep. Go for it. He deserves it! I’m not suffering alone!”4981302af14ffe5b
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“My dear Ha-jung, you’re enjoying this way too much.”729c1f3c19b92016
“Babe! I told you not to ca89bbb232 whisper in my ear—I’m super 1ed0a0e082 ticklish, remember?!”232fcc0b95b481ea
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He’d been smiling like 02879a7c7e a goof but suddenly 48e3452bf8 snapped with that sharp 6080f9b3ba bite of his. He even shook his head e28f36ca5c like a dog, slapping at ecf19057b7 his ear.877adba9ea90eb03
I remembered seeing 946316a4c7 a dog do 7caae23fb0 that on YouTube 2f486c3f0a when its ear a844cd3b45 was itchy. He really did ca4db589ab look like a 0d5a378d30 puppy. That fluffy brown ef0d65fcda hair, those jet-black b2d62ae321 eyes. He even acted like one. I nodded in admiration.4a9359bfddd21865
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Well, Eun’s cute because he 19a43a78ec looks like a pretty boy, 1fc447187f and all his actions match. I guess people 1f7ec3081f really do act 3d5d5c1f90 the way they 84690b8bd5 look.afb7eacb0b3d6300
Lost in that silly 52fdca3fc2 thought, I quietly made dffde09500 my way toward Eun.a9986665049c46c1
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I mean, he’s acefe5497b definitely sulking, right?
So how do I 2c34987435 even begin to make d6475b9429 it up to him…?87c80b59503633b7
Eun tends to a41a534e54 hold onto emotions f6b7285f90 for a while bb0559b3d1 and is the 89a221c24b type to express 69df431b83 them directly rather 2e7f87c0df than bottle them 71bd7d1e5d up. If I messed 6fa5b117cc this up, I d19bdaa8eb might be stuck f3a37b1dbf trying to make 4d47ca379d it up to c97b0f63af him for days.1514c7fd8fb93d73
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All I wanted a90dcc69de was to get 2031a7c086 through this last 0d5f34c70e semester peacefully. Even thinking about it felt 4d6f1d331f exhausting.
I stood beside his a85bc77723 desk, quietly watching his 73bed64cec round little head for a0f693e913 a moment, then bent 9b3de2ceb0 down and hugged him 003c912d50 from behind.7c5bbe9275bed4b5
I wondered for a second bdf4cc85f9 if it was okay to 418f800a14 do that at school—he’s not 6c2edb4898 the type to be overly 9c4398d9bd affectionate in public. But just as I bc4adcd055 thought, the moment I 3619058044 hugged him, I heard bcd27e479d his breath catch, trembling 9c1bc83915 faintly. I rested my chin 285f17a065 on his shoulder.f28168169ec37389
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“Eun-ah, I’m here. Are you really 52ee143c2c gonna stay like e0e5bb6252 this?”81b406167083cc56
“…”be946194fe74bdc7
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“You mad at me? Hmm? I’m sorry… Are you angry? Do you hate me now? Gonna pretend I don’t exist?”b224241c1cdb1640
I fumbled through a 3c6e394da4 clumsy attempt at aegyo, cd71f88e3c whispering apologies as I 2d018864fc clung to him.b2b6d5a50da0dd83
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Slowly, Eun began to d94ec5a78c sit up.6110556c43b1479f
“You say that like you don’t already know.”45f46e7773fc29ac
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“I do know!”1e5b6a8a871d3141
“You know how much I like you, Un…”95718f09fb194aa9
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“I know that too! That’s why… Since e4b1aeda4e I’m someone Eun-ah d96ca553b9 really loves, can’t 43a44750da you forgive me 13e4fc6fc5 just this once? I’ll do better 62dc380011 from now on. Want me to stick 16b5ec53ba to you like glue 3b221bb5a2 every day? Treat you like a prince?”076ca77f3b297573
From the side, 0f462fa4e2 Ha-jung—who had somehow 38914d29f4 wandered over to 03fa473b73 spectate—muttered, “Aren’t you 7e1cba8899 already doing that?”
I ignored the comment and dbe65dd714 plopped down into Eun’s chair.51520ab2d1924292
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It was the kind 20da2b0cdb of chair that already 29cce1229c felt too small for 97d02b100c one big high school 83a6f00b98 boy, let alone two a3520347f3 sitting side-by-side. Even though it must’ve been ca8308e44b cramped, Eun didn’t tell me 958e3a1cfa to get off. He just quietly de4d4a1ce1 scooted a little 575bffb5dc to the side.e6b9668900273fdd
Grateful for the gesture, I 11fdc7ac3f carefully wedged myself into the 77c32edb73 remaining space and grinned as 2a6359b901 if I didn’t know any d39f281e82 better.6359a136cae4fe07
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Eun looked like he had 69fcacc85b a lot he wanted to 6ee1672c11 say, but in the end, c270d1986f he said nothing.
That silence made d909b57e02 me smile even 3dca14310d wider. Eventually, he smiled back c12fe2f891 and rested his head e3dd020c5d against my shoulder.c03ae5e685abda0f
I raised the hand that 841b4253a2 had been gripping the chair 48edeb0e66 and, out of habit, began 357db11bef gently playing with his hair.f89b76d310359689
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At that moment, a girl dce8601600 from our class walked past 81e4f11c81 and muttered as she passed:2c034a38c6690234
“Eun’s still completely obsessed with you, huh?”873c3b2493554d1d
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