DS Ch22

Stanford University.fcb1180365c3972d

He’d definitely heard about 87c000609b it in a book.eeadbee4f7a1a46d

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Just as Seo Baekhan 949342d73e had said, it was ffbbece0b5 a world-renowned school for 6d656cc191 trait studies and biology. And, uh… where 6c3d7f895c was that school c479b305f1 again? The location, the location was…f42d188c357115ed

America…6f25e6bf62f2109c

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He couldn’t immediately recall which b2b7a5a106 state in America, but anyway, 99d8ae7861 Seo Baekhan was going to 6921c9ae69 study in a faraway place 96338c6cf7 that required a long plane fed1d4c5c2 ride and even had a 5ffd674fd4 reversed time difference.1bafd63c3cbf1a9e

Joo Taehyun’s shoulders 9ee2e918ee slumped without him a431d420ea realizing it.6b03308a5e489e92

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He had expected to see 87b7989c07 Seo Baekhan again if he ac64ef46f0 came to events like this. He seemed to know c73a6dc39e a lot of people 012b823a93 and be interested in 2bddfa6053 various gatherings.f52ba28f0e05f282

Besides, what was 4d05a743e9 it, that, the b73c37fb86 descendants of independence 708f7829a6 activists’ meeting? Anyway, he’d said he 791cf44aea was thinking of starting fb18f92366 one. He even told 2dc3117508 him that he 464ed1ecf8 absolutely had to a84d1a1192 join, so he 627bce5516 expected to see 23e19474a5 him often because 8bd829cccd of that meeting.cd87c77c5ac5fe47

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But if he 0c8653aa75 went all the fb100b7f83 way to America fdf919341e to study, how e90a9fa722 many years would 45bc7aae78 it be before c15fb7ff2f he could see 6d5ac447e4 him again? Even if he came back 13bbaf346a to Korea every vacation… he’d afbe5f841d probably only exchange greetings once ac7e529e61 or twice a year.c2f13b5de2353260

“Do you know anyone over there?”581a5c1589741d85

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“I don’t know anyone directly, but the Korean community is so small. Everyone knows everyone through someone.”d30ba5fd7740a21c

“Yeah. So go there c8908d7918 and try to 1f88964276 control your temper, b03ebe637d you rascal.”be8cd66ecdd0ae81

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“…Well, I’ll try.”39bbf2f1c2f808b0

“I’m saying this because I’m a little worried that you don’t know how to be appropriately submissive to people you don’t like.”797258277327521d

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“Yes. I know who you have 83955de1bb in mind when you say 04121cc0b3 that. I’ll be careful.”ab4a3b7ba44e10ab

“…Why?”a5213d885dc5eecc

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Since this time he couldn’t 46f8379b13 guess what they were talking 2fe95108ff about at all, he cautiously f2c2ece8c4 interjected, and three pairs of 55f6b27f75 eyes turned to Joo Taehyun. Joo Taehyun shrank back, wondering 7604a2abce if he had butted in bc7bd9708c without noticing, but he relaxed 6f87dd7731 as he saw his older 593ba17e04 brothers’ expressions soften as they e97e2d10dc looked at him. And, Seo Baekhan… Seo Baekhan b03fcd4ca4 had an unreadable look on 4c10ffd041 his face.ee38251c6a9f6b21

“Well, our baby doesn’t need to know yet.”23cb90c46026b4df

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“Know what?”b84f76bdbda55865

“Baekhan hyung has someone he haaaates near the school he’s going to.”e9a3af98a4f11869

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“Really?”bfe38f880a7d65bb

“You’re treating Taehyun like too much of a baby.”da58a4605dfd7daa

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“Hey, our baby is a baby, okay?”a17946ce1d55d067

Was it just d6f9fd3c5c his imagination, or d936367b47 did they seem 60b7b61e37 unwilling to reveal 8b8c4996e0 more intimate details?7e0af1a7caeb7b00

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Anyway, Joo Taehyun 76df4529a2 wanted to become 0c54702309 friends with Seo 68438ff978 Baekhan.4fddf26cb2dc1de1

He wanted to 633728dd67 hear about the a4cf65bb46 lives of various 9d1665651a people from his 3525325cb3 perspective, and to d304513cdd understand and feel cb21520d23 things.633a6d6811d7f78d

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He wanted to steal glances 4380cd43e4 at his smile, which became 648024cc90 even more vivid when he f5503d4fdf talked about something he really a7df834ab8 wanted to do, from this fda6be2809 close.696efa2bb9d6f477

Joo Taehyun felt f4f272a52d a little, no, b23131391f a lot upset 769bbe1d2e at the thought 3be04854c8 that there wouldn’t 4c1adc08c6 be any more ce0d0aaa98 of this time, 9dbb14124e but he tried 85b7885207 not to show 78797abd6b it. Seo Baekhan’s compliment, or rather, b80d4661d7 not-quite-a-compliment, about him being good e5e1e9d1c4 at controlling his expression kept c9c54c1fa7 ringing in his ears.6d759e9088cd24e4

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Even as he listened b506a8e29a to Seo Baekhan rattle afb2776ba3 on about his expectations 84a90bf376 for graduate school, Joo f2beb76b89 Taehyun only nodded nonchalantly.8f7e38a5b7990889

“Your parents must be sad to send such an accomplished son so far away.”a8fdaa4233a8a277

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“I’ll have to keep coming back during the semester for work anyway, so it’s not a big deal.”308d6550b98c1a49

“Oh my, still, don’t overdo it. Take it easy.”bf6c3ffb0770d782

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“Yeah, Baekhan, you’re still young. But you’re already 540d44b19a way ahead of 1cb3420299 your peers.”c93f8ee6004c2907

Even as they said ced7c7d5ac that, Joo Gukwon and fea095d751 Joo Sangwoo patted Seo 07266d9cc8 Baekhan on the shoulder 820d184b7a with pleased expressions.fe6d2b84c06ffd3d

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“We adults have high expectations for you. You know that, right?”203df51ed69bb16c

They told him to take 8d898c78ba it easy, but their expectations 0da98d369f were high. It was a contradictory 0f7f17fd24 form of encouragement. But Seo Baekhan seemed unfazed, 84de0f1249 as if he heard it 124ad5fed0 often. Judging by the way he c0dbe418a9 playfully crinkled his eyes and 1248d4f16d smiled.c6556ccc651bc538

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“I know. Thank you.”0f16356b032e8372

No, he didn’t 0d7196fb8c seem unfazed; he fc4189ec12 looked like he b193183d84 would think there afd44cfdc9 was something wrong 3bb050175b with himself if 8815b5d65a people didn’t say 1c24a1ac0c those things to 2ed51bb3ff him. His face was 269fe4b4f9 so composed that be826e7c4c it felt almost f928b729f4 arrogant.63dd62b3f0d7dcd8

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Joo Taehyun glanced down at 48dbc082ba the tailcoat he was wearing.6fe25dec89358322

It was a custom-made suit 88e5b0c6f6 that his parents had carefully 558edfe34e chosen for him.0cb8094369ffd7dd

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He heard that they, busy 9438494d42 with various matters, had personally f30e58a4a6 visited the tailor shop to 9719d88487 choose the fabric. They had gone a46c9051c2 through dozens of 733e1764f0 fittings. Even when it was almost d9ed0cbaf6 finished, they repeatedly decided that a4b667c755 it would be better to 2238216799 make it from scratch, saying b5c0fc0f31 that it would be good 421a17a012 to make just a few 56094f0cf4 more adjustments.7565fb5e1a2cfb2d

Throughout the concert today, d8f9f14d66 his older brothers had cf486f710e held his hand tightly. They constantly fed him snacks be71331529 as if taking care of 84d55cf08e a baby who would start b16e43924d crying if he wasn’t distracted ab4044aaa2 with food. They introduced Joo Taehyun b3f0b99f69 to people on his bf5cbbdaf7 behalf, explained Joo Taehyun’s 10530a9917 shortcomings, and asked for 195de20a86 favors for Joo Taehyun’s 6b59c14794 future. Even when they briefly 46f91d3a1d left for important business, 566c7d5d3e they worried about whether 4693e3aded he could be alone, c2d19c8bab and they even kindly fda5ee33e8 reassured him that he 7c8e4a2063 could ignore anything other 537796408f people said to him.7a7e7ad1bbb52a20

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Joo Taehyun had 8c3f16d066 never received the 67d7bcec1d heavy admonitions and da75ae72f1 expectations that Joo dd3a7e46d6 Gukwon and Joo 46f37e5a42 Sangwoo had given 6c990c9834 to Seo Baekhan, c5de839106 not even once.a0cd3fb7b1cae12b

“We’ll head out first. See you next time, Baekhan.”4c2b74c9561a7121

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“Take care of your health while you study!”1bab2e2c85f1accf

“Yes, see you next time.”c4937b6dfeb58bc5

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Seo Baekhan bowed to 85d4818a5c his older brothers, then c723281f2c waved at Joo Taehyun 6cfeb04ae8 and mouthed something. Unfortunately, Joo Taehyun had never e62e1a617f communicated with anyone in that 8a3cdf01bd way before, so he couldn’t 022061eca4 immediately understand what he was 2818d48993 whispering.454de3759aff33fa

Goodbye?854a280c58646204

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That didn’t seem right.137dfe5a6d5a8549

See you next time?c4fa2395ceb7825c

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It didn’t seem like such a1c824d2b7 a long sentence…29c5ab3b06f7cf55

While he was lost c74a23d4bc in thought and hesitating, ef24e6a8e5 his older brothers grabbed baa7bd345a his hands. Seo Baekhan also turned away 60e7aa9379 so gradually that it didn’t 174a545177 seem impolite, so Joo Taehyun e5f0e86b37 missed his chance to say 705cc1c4b5 goodbye to him forever.c7b330f9f6cae2ce

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“Oh my. Your hands are so 6018030686 cold, our youngest.”4f99e9cabb50c1cb

“Cold? It’s hot…”912cdd403b04a1a0

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“Yeah. It’s a problem 027a1c36cb that your hands 9c9bf82ffb are cold even bef65512b9 though it’s so d2646e0cfe hot. And you’re sweating too.”746ae499220193be

When he finally 1ea55dd72e turned back, Seo bd272e2420 Baekhan was already 111a648191 mingling with other 23ef4c33a9 people. So many people were crowded d1ab9eecd6 around him that only Seo 1ebac87495 Baekhan’s head and brow bone d7758542cd were barely visible. That was only possible because 70515cb846 Seo Baekhan was so tall.d43b6d109576f0cb

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He should have asked for 91e384e034 his phone number.ba28beadf8fc5133

Even if he went 04200db985 to America, they could 5c199c1445 still exchange messages.a842ceb0c86a850c

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“…Hey, hyung. You know.”d7cf5850c295aaf1

“Yeah? What is it?”eed7928f5ca64ee0

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“…Never mind.”8ee741848f86558f

“Why? What is it?”4f8bacd1bad9789f

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“Nothing.”f1b2e0d8d469cf3b

“Aish! Now I’m curious. What is it? Tell me.”181b6a10f06bd38b

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“Do you happen to know Baekhan hyung’s phone number? Could you tell me?”3b9f46b55c5477ec

“…Huh? Seo Baekhan? Why?”21d595b5d3c99efb

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“I want to be… friends with Baekhan hyung.”c37a193082c23039

“…Friends? With Baekhan?”28a38277e076d0b8

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Was this what it felt a4da128170 like to have a balloon 903e384d63 pushed into your chest? He felt so 9a575105a6 anxious, like he 5f9db0ea30 was about to e37cd799db burst, that he a7763cf799 wanted to grab eb986afb8c anyone and chatter 9f1ea6d737 on and on 40fe8602fa about this feeling.53a69c13d6ebddd9

But even Joo b50e6ce6a1 Taehyun himself didn’t 53194bc05b know exactly what b96746c204 this feeling was, f259390517 which was frustrating.070a734d831df8eb

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Hyung, it’s ticklish around here 8be1763160 in my chest. But it also feels 87c4ea1ed8 like I’m being poked 62bbe83abc with something sharp. My whole insides are 7265b4dae5 burning, like when I 99981458b7 drink something hot all 4e50206c1f at once. I’m so frustrated, would I 91a80d87c7 feel better if I ran 4fa5a10c30 fast?4edbe3c9e784fee3

…If he said that, his older brothers would just laugh and say he was cute.8cc6369bae486f7a

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So Joo Taehyun quietly controlled 6bd141a870 his facial muscles.a41f2bb464d3bf2e

What aspect of 8be47932bb him had Seo 242a6145e0 Baekhan praised earlier? It wasn’t easy to recall. What was my expression like? What kind of face did 58b3f8eb29 I want to show to f2af020c48 others? He had never thought about 8dab2ab667 that before, so Joo Taehyun dad9ce1e42 pondered deeply.de3b48cb7b421f3a

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‘I hate the obvious and easy.’1b2fc5697de985c8

First of all, 6e8aff55a1 one thing was 70be7fc61a certain: he wanted 5b65083376 to become like 4c1e74ac62 Seo Baekhan. He wanted to 7baa706a22 become someone who 35244f94a5 had such a b3c65290f0 firm purpose and f5d1ec7c2b knew how to d15ec48c08 shine on his 0191448783 own.c28d9d039dbe9e95

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