UBC Ch2

All the funeral etiquette I thought I had diligently studied turned out to be useless. The chief mourner, Eui-joo’s brother, arbitrarily skipped the silent tribute, incense offering, and bowing portions. He dragged me to the table, saying we should eat first since a guest had arrived. The black suit he wore, with his back to me, was covered in tiny fuzz. His tie was crooked, and I thought, “So this is what they mean when they say a person’s circumstances show in their appearance.”12ba71381aa75796b79f

Yukgaejang in a paper bowl and cold slices of boiled pork. Unidentifiable green side dishes and three dried-up honey rice cakes, kimchi with little seasoning. It was a meal I received after skipping lunch and dinner, but I hesitated to pick up my spoon.b6d05c9f908ac0263e01

It was because of Eui-joo’s brother, who was in front of me, eating rice mixed in yukgaejang as if he hadn’t eaten in three days. From the start, he picked up two slices of boiled pork at once and ate them, which I thought was amazing. I stared in astonishment at him shoving the spoon into his mouth with a blank expression, and then my vision flickered. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the fluorescent light flickering on and off as if it were at the end of its life.7d8564ec23c3d1267e87

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It must be because it’s an old funeral hall, so power outages were frequent. I thought it was abnormally dark for some reason. The fluorescent light regained its strength five minutes later.818ff4d10fc3e65f832f

I put the plastic spoon I had been holding down on the table. A unique challenge had fallen into my life, where Eui-joo’s birthday, death, nothing could be easily passed over.6cb507fa301540b9ef7d

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A tie about to twist around to the back of his neck, bandages covering his hands, a mouth torn by a wound, a blank expression that made him look like a robot, a man who was eating like a glutton. But as the fluorescent light came on, I learned things I hadn’t expected among the things I had anticipated.71db47936520e4bf3c56

I could tell from his first appearance that he was much bigger than the skinny Eui-joo. His head was so high up from my perspective, and his imposing physique could be felt even in his hunched posture, which was intimidating. But his features, made clear by the light, were so refined that you couldn’t tell he was Eui-joo’s brother. It’s also strange that his eyes were bright brown, while his hair was black.90e8ecae4d4e429418ea

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His appearance, which drew out even nonexistent feelings of goodwill, evoked both admiration and shock. I was amazed that Eui-joo had a brother with such outstanding looks, and it was shocking that his chopstick skills for picking up kimchi were worse than a five-year-old’s.bf0b8faf1348a7371860

He was using his fist to wedge the chopsticks to pick up side dishes, a truly terrible skill. It was a wonder how he managed to pick up and eat the side dishes. He didn’t care about what others thought and finished a bowl of yukgaejang, then roughly pulled out a tissue and wiped his mouth. Tears even disappeared because of Eui-joo’s brother, who seemed to live in the wild. His indifferent gaze, sweeping across the table as he roughly wiped his mouth with the tissue, landed on me.0f3df176450b517db3aa

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“Aren’t you eating?”eb139be460074c78807e

He said, looking at the untouched rice and yukgaejang. I couldn’t hide my bewilderment at the sudden question and just moved my lips. The man reached out without the slightest hesitation.ba61ef4bf98a96469cd3

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“Then I’ll eat it.”dc82af35a3619a89d48a

After my share of yukgaejang and rice passed into his hands, another mess began. My lower and upper lips parted on their own. As if he didn’t know what taste was, he mixed the rice into the soup and ate it quickly. I thought he would choke, so I opened a cola nearby and placed it in front of him.8edfe7436253f11159ef

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The man’s spoon, which had been moving between bowls, slowly stopped. The man, who had silently swallowed the rice, lowered his eyes and asked.876bfa2807daa6bd712f

“Are you close to Eui-joo?”8424fe9de590b6a411c4

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His tone, asking as if the dead Eui-joo were still alive, contained not a hint of emotion. It was as if it didn’t matter if I didn’t answer, as he started moving his spoon again.5b8f0ecd4699b04196d2

“Yes, we were close. That’s why I came.”5bda54bf9e1a4984c26d

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“School?”5587918a4d4c8103d7c6

“It’s winter vacation, so I don’t go.”cb4cbc9488cc043630b2

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The resentment I thought had subsided was slowly raising its head within me. Besides his dead mother and runaway father, the person Eui-joo liked and relied on the most was probably his brother. The words, “What were you doing instead of coming to Chowa-ri earlier to take care of your sick brother?” rose to the tip of my tongue.22b9b2e6dd46e5a878f8

“You’re better than me.”93e267cc905ee15e0fc0

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He scraped the bottom of the bowl with the plastic spoon, and even tilted the bowl to pour it into his mouth. His unrefined manner was evident in his actions of putting down the empty bowl and pulling out a tissue to wipe his mouth. It was an impression that didn’t match his appearance.c972659f5528395b752c

It wasn’t like I had grown up being pampered, but even to my eyes, the man’s clumsy behavior was shocking. Of course, thanks to my mom and my remarried rich aunt’s efforts, I lived like a dandelion in a greenhouse. There were only a few lucky girls in the whole school who didn’t have to worry about household affairs and just had to study.77e524381e3fcd1ec3cb

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It was especially true in a conservative town like Chowa-ri. It was a town that seemed to be possessed by the ghosts of the Joseon Dynasty, thinking that something terrible would happen if a girl left her hometown.f4e90ca5593f3abc9c77

The town elders were somewhat fond of me because of my childhood connections. I had been able to greet them without blushing since I was a chubby-cheeked seven-year-old. Looking at Eui-joo’s case, that’s how it was. The village atmosphere of calling a grandmother who had been married and living there for over 30 years “Jeju’s wife” might have hastened Eui-joo’s death.67ff404abef325f00491

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“Eui-joo said he missed you a lot. Even when I brought him side dishes, he saved them. He said he would eat them with you when you came.”4e299fab18c322f48594

So, instead of sitting there with such a blank expression, he should shed a few tears. I tried to prick him with thorns, but he was invincible. His hand slowly fell and lay on the table. Tap, tap, his fingernails tapped the tissue box in a regular rhythm. The age difference didn’t seem that great, but the man’s gestures and glances gave off a sense of a world I didn’t know. Then, he pulled his hand back and supported himself on the floor, letting out a sigh as if he were full.342ae3ca294d94a3d14d

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“What side dishes?”f8a8cbb21cf8c27eb8f7

“Sorry?”93e2ca7e2669ca0633c1

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“You said you brought side dishes.”4e88ff98e44a97dc4552

My mind went blank for a moment at the completely unexpected question. I barely managed to open my mouth in that state where I couldn’t think of anything.0fdb593ccf0861974059

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“Stir-fried sausage, seaweed stems, pickled cucumbers…”36a91dc17e1bcd87a632

“That must have been fucking delicious.”b567ba768e8a11ac83ab

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“Yes?”7f39dcd511374411c521

“You lived well. Better than me.”031f079d51592f2b6da7

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He nonchalantly said that the dead Eui-joo was better than him. As if he had digested everything in the meantime, the man straightened his posture again. He was still trying to pick up a rice cake with his clumsy chopsticks. Clearing the blankness from my mind and regaining my reason, I picked up the chopsticks this time. I picked up the pink honey rice cake that the man was aiming for and moved it to his chopsticks.435d32c66318abd8247a

That was the first time the man’s expression changed. The man, whose eyes had widened slightly, stared at me intently.f5de33d86c22fc562769

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“Thanks.”20535136f158bd96e948

After the simple delivery ceremony, the man shoved the rice cake into his mouth and suddenly raised his chin to look at me. He let out another sigh and asked in an unclear pronunciation.4983f7a5585da379f9d9

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“Go now. I’ve finished eating.”7ed24391011c795b39d8

That was originally the plan. It wasn’t an atmosphere for mourning or anything. But if I left like this, I would only think about Eui-joo’s brother day and night. And those clumsy chopsticks picking up kimchi. I, who was quick to adapt, picked up the kimchi, the man’s next target, and held it out to him. The man accepted it with a brazen expression, as if he were used to it the second time.771f8dc03974029fab30

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“I asked you. Why didn’t you come…? I’m not angry, so don’t glare at me like that.”4d3f33583bb3cfbb3172

I only changed my tone to be polite because he was glaring at me as he stopped chewing. As my attitude changed, the man was busy getting rid of the food in his mouth again. Gulp, his Adam’s apple moved fiercely. The man rinsed his mouth with a glass of water and let out a sigh.14c9a86b167b68763306

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“Your parents are alive.”63a05fc364454820d543

“…Me?”07c4ce4401826d651ad4

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“Yeah.”c1bb8cdf97e975020c94

“Ah, me. Yes. I only have a mom, no dad.”6c7dac02e1d4765357d3

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“Does she treat you well?”224d2b0a3f7f431772c6

“I’m sorry, but why are you… asking that?”6804a5de2780f7fcdb86

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“Just wondering if you don’t have to go home. If she doesn’t treat you well, you can stay longer. If she cherishes you like gold, you should go. It’ll be annoying if something noisy happens later. Now it’s…”27c47ed79588bb06d574

The man turned his head to look at the clock and narrowed his brow.fde67337173c9a39dd2b

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“It’s almost 12.”728d26d7d65e3db259cb

He put his hand inside his suit jacket and rummaged around, looking for something. My tongue became free as I saw the red lighter that came out.380408c5d12c650c7e54

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“Smoking is prohibited here, right? It is, right?”2b7becf190d2ba421b89

“What’s prohibited?”825636f5a1d843783b13

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The man opened the cigarette pack that naturally followed and squinted as if disappointed. I was relieved to see the empty cigarette pack with him. I leaned my relaxed head against the wall.cce63a2c52858f2e514f

“You can’t smoke here…”9920eb603806e02a2959

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“Yang Ji-eon.”fdcb38d9e9c20ccceaaa

My shoulders flinched reflexively at the sudden call of my name. It was an atmosphere to say something important about Eui-joo. I straightened my hunched back and sat up, waiting for his next words.ceafbe155743a74d460f

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“Lend me some money.”62c418c94dee251d84fa

“Sorry?”4c36b4d4f9be834db51b

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“So I can buy cigarettes.”9dff32d37cf4996ad506

“Huh?”45b7c9edeb01bc4299f3

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“It would be even better if you bought them for me.”bdc2d28402a6d179a5e8

“I’m a minor, though?”13ec11354a9e323d6d8e

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“Can’t minors buy them? I think I bought them when I was your age.”f1e59735c101e97137f3

“What?”e5c0359b8d134625ab01

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A sneer hung on his lips as if he found me constantly asking back funny. The man, who shamelessly asked me to run errands for cigarettes, nevertheless didn’t pay attention to the condolence money I had offered. I realized very late that it was his unique, high-class joke.f0231e16be4b6ddaa3b8

After eating all the rice cakes, I stared blankly at him as he didn’t forget to eat the remaining side dishes. I was curious about Eui-joo’s brother, who had strangely appeared out of nowhere.e09c075305241e415528

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“Excuse me.”e7662797c8f987ea6d8c

The man, who was just about to pick up a side dish and put it in his mouth, fixed his gaze on me.8244c885c2b4149de742

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“What’s your name?”aa3419ac028374d6f993

The answer came later, as the chopsticks went ahead to eat the dry boiled pork. I moved the chopsticks before the man did. I thought it would be better for me to pick it up since the boiled pork was slipping dozens of times. The man quietly watched me move the boiled pork to his plate before giving a late answer.4d709b7912d4668b6e1d

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“Kang Eui-tae.”4ed176689bb1d782bb4f

Eui-tae. It was Kang Eui-tae. That was Eui-joo’s brother. After finishing the brief background check, I exchanged glances with the man. Wasn’t the valley that Mom warned me not to go to the deepest and most fun? The fact that I had passed 12 o’clock outside of the study room gave me a subtle thrill.e38e34fb0c7955d4422e

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Eui-joo’s brother was a strange person in many ways. I didn’t know if it was fortunate or something that it wasn’t a sad day that would ruin my short life. On the day of Eui-joo’s funeral, I was continuing an awkward memorial service with the man.7287b123de0f599aa678