UBC Ch2

All the funeral etiquette I thought I had diligently studied turned out to be useless. The chief mourner, Eui-joo’s brother, arbitrarily skipped the silent tribute, incense offering, and bowing portions. He dragged me to the table, saying we should eat first since a guest had arrived. The black suit he wore, with his back to me, was covered in tiny fuzz. His tie was crooked, and I thought, “So this is what they mean when they say a person’s circumstances show in their appearance.”92e51ca2831e71d2

Yukgaejang in a a9421ba756 paper bowl and 5f9335d80a cold slices of 2923eb9bda boiled pork. Unidentifiable green side 23e06e6602 dishes and three 303c77d119 dried-up honey rice 2585387fa1 cakes, kimchi with ebb21c17d8 little seasoning. It was a meal bdd9f6cfe7 I received after skipping 2332806345 lunch and dinner, but 9b8e8c8ba6 I hesitated to pick da79a0a280 up my spoon.09e450b09c5cce1e

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It was because of Eui-joo’s brother, who was in front of me, eating rice mixed in yukgaejang as if he hadn’t eaten in three days. From the start, he picked up two slices of boiled pork at once and ate them, which I thought was amazing. I stared in astonishment at him shoving the spoon into his mouth with a blank expression, and then my vision flickered. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the fluorescent light flickering on and off as if it were at the end of its life.b90b74595d2daab7

It must be because it’s an old funeral hall, so power outages were frequent. I thought it was abnormally dark for some reason. The fluorescent light regained its strength five minutes later.2d5ee339d3ebeb7f

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I put the plastic spoon I had been holding down on the table. A unique challenge had fallen into my life, where Eui-joo’s birthday, death, nothing could be easily passed over.9430d85f72cd6c4f

A tie about to twist around to the back of his neck, bandages covering his hands, a mouth torn by a wound, a blank expression that made him look like a robot, a man who was eating like a glutton. But as the fluorescent light came on, I learned things I hadn’t expected among the things I had anticipated.03eaa4bd86c7b0d3

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I could tell from his first appearance that he was much bigger than the skinny Eui-joo. His head was so high up from my perspective, and his imposing physique could be felt even in his hunched posture, which was intimidating. But his features, made clear by the light, were so refined that you couldn’t tell he was Eui-joo’s brother. It’s also strange that his eyes were bright brown, while his hair was black.bb9a20486d7cc944

His appearance, which drew out even nonexistent feelings of goodwill, evoked both admiration and shock. I was amazed that Eui-joo had a brother with such outstanding looks, and it was shocking that his chopstick skills for picking up kimchi were worse than a five-year-old’s.bf14f21461634cae

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He was using his fist to wedge the chopsticks to pick up side dishes, a truly terrible skill. It was a wonder how he managed to pick up and eat the side dishes. He didn’t care about what others thought and finished a bowl of yukgaejang, then roughly pulled out a tissue and wiped his mouth. Tears even disappeared because of Eui-joo’s brother, who seemed to live in the wild. His indifferent gaze, sweeping across the table as he roughly wiped his mouth with the tissue, landed on me.97662df367ce7c59

“Aren’t you eating?”fe55a4c122c7e319

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He said, looking at the untouched rice and yukgaejang. I couldn’t hide my bewilderment at the sudden question and just moved my lips. The man reached out without the slightest hesitation.174e15973ebf9a9a

“Then I’ll eat it.”fc41c0448b40f5d5

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After my share of yukgaejang and rice passed into his hands, another mess began. My lower and upper lips parted on their own. As if he didn’t know what taste was, he mixed the rice into the soup and ate it quickly. I thought he would choke, so I opened a cola nearby and placed it in front of him.97f5fe5f49bd41f7

The man’s spoon, which had been moving between bowls, slowly stopped. The man, who had silently swallowed the rice, lowered his eyes and asked.c965129dc6bb4524

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“Are you close to Eui-joo?”d54daab4e24edfb4

His tone, asking as if the dead Eui-joo were still alive, contained not a hint of emotion. It was as if it didn’t matter if I didn’t answer, as he started moving his spoon again.cc0b68494e3d9420

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“Yes, we were close. That’s why I came.”1cf5169a1b6809b6

“School?”a974a0e029499cde

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“It’s winter vacation, so I don’t go.”3d9f49bd1b6bbc08

The resentment I thought had subsided was slowly raising its head within me. Besides his dead mother and runaway father, the person Eui-joo liked and relied on the most was probably his brother. The words, “What were you doing instead of coming to Chowa-ri earlier to take care of your sick brother?” rose to the tip of my tongue.ed971b9a137eab3f

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“You’re better than me.”b06a7f59d8e32875

He scraped the bottom of the bowl with the plastic spoon, and even tilted the bowl to pour it into his mouth. His unrefined manner was evident in his actions of putting down the empty bowl and pulling out a tissue to wipe his mouth. It was an impression that didn’t match his appearance.e3436bc0ab94e7a5

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It wasn’t like I had grown up being pampered, but even to my eyes, the man’s clumsy behavior was shocking. Of course, thanks to my mom and my remarried rich aunt’s efforts, I lived like a dandelion in a greenhouse. There were only a few lucky girls in the whole school who didn’t have to worry about household affairs and just had to study.b97e47cb0396ddd8

It was especially bd2ecb99d1 true in a cf19c04dc2 conservative town like 061b00151b Chowa-ri. It was a town 22db3732b7 that seemed to be b448439ead possessed by the ghosts c282619a85 of the Joseon Dynasty, ecc2ee0267 thinking that something terrible a0740d0c10 would happen if a c54e5a53c8 girl left her hometown.209d709a2a7f13c9

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The town elders were somewhat fond of me because of my childhood connections. I had been able to greet them without blushing since I was a chubby-cheeked seven-year-old. Looking at Eui-joo’s case, that’s how it was. The village atmosphere of calling a grandmother who had been married and living there for over 30 years “Jeju’s wife” might have hastened Eui-joo’s death.89bbef8239b6b238

“Eui-joo said he missed you a lot. Even when I brought him side dishes, he saved them. He said he would eat them with you when you came.”c22e71cfebd006df

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So, instead of sitting there with such a blank expression, he should shed a few tears. I tried to prick him with thorns, but he was invincible. His hand slowly fell and lay on the table. Tap, tap, his fingernails tapped the tissue box in a regular rhythm. The age difference didn’t seem that great, but the man’s gestures and glances gave off a sense of a world I didn’t know. Then, he pulled his hand back and supported himself on the floor, letting out a sigh as if he were full.f3182ff6cde07e45

“What side dishes?”b234d5f3cbdce4d9

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“Sorry?”3561d8776807e657

“You said you brought side dishes.”3c15da7f380905bd

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My mind went blank for a moment at the completely unexpected question. I barely managed to open my mouth in that state where I couldn’t think of anything.de7aea94ac96d13f

“Stir-fried sausage, seaweed stems, pickled cucumbers…”91dfec26793cbe5d

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“That must have been fucking delicious.”d87c89f9c854b883

“Yes?”8fc928b2f8ea616a

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“You lived well. Better than me.”9a64f3650b5d3701

He nonchalantly said 631179d5d6 that the dead ebe658eb38 Eui-joo was better 32168b6226 than him. As if bfa486556e he had 26a64b2af9 digested everything 4574830cf2 in the c8bc420245 meantime, the afff77d4af man straightened 4737681cc8 his posture c48642f40f again. He was e58c706627 still trying 331f8c6965 to pick 7eb7eebef9 up a a576f5a090 rice cake 88e5eff12b with his 3ff9e1ef35 clumsy chopsticks. Clearing the 8f43cc0251 blankness from 79b349628d my mind 37862e8948 and regaining 7760002313 my reason, b8d3ac338a I picked 65a85219e4 up the 4a3caf6050 chopsticks this de24192705 time. I picked c26c4ca4e6 up the d44e8fda5f pink honey 37452e1742 rice cake 9c0dd58fbd that the 1dd752c9cf man was 08b1fa3f65 aiming for 2ff53b4e5a and moved bcbb942e0b it to e56b909435 his chopsticks.93b6688aece0dbca

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That was the first time the man’s expression changed. The man, whose eyes had widened slightly, stared at me intently.fc1a9381f1c860a5

“Thanks.”aa7fbb0d14a929ad

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After the e35cdd632f simple delivery f678dab0d7 ceremony, the c5d7fb64d6 man shoved 3330b1c0aa the rice c847a07282 cake into b54c7d7327 his mouth 102813644a and suddenly bffb6f925f raised his 11c1816e0a chin to b8b94bf54d look at b46245ebcb me. He let out c9c8456a53 another sigh and 126324afed asked in an fa93e58a70 unclear pronunciation.b8065bd5f14c623c

“Go now. I’ve finished eating.”798e4e5c9acff765

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That was originally the plan. It wasn’t an atmosphere for mourning or anything. But if I left like this, I would only think about Eui-joo’s brother day and night. And those clumsy chopsticks picking up kimchi. I, who was quick to adapt, picked up the kimchi, the man’s next target, and held it out to him. The man accepted it with a brazen expression, as if he were used to it the second time.926a19ddab417c39

“I asked you. Why didn’t you come…? I’m not angry, so don’t glare at me like that.”ae69c5b9bd5e2c20

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I only changed my tone to be polite because he was glaring at me as he stopped chewing. As my attitude changed, the man was busy getting rid of the food in his mouth again. Gulp, his Adam’s apple moved fiercely. The man rinsed his mouth with a glass of water and let out a sigh.47f8fd812b806169

“Your parents are alive.”f4236747d0be28ad

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“…Me?”527d9cbbff5114fc

“Yeah.”4b925c52c4943f2c

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“Ah, me. Yes. I only have a mom, no dad.”20b5746b988229a3

“Does she treat you well?”3a5c6c333022421a

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“I’m sorry, but why are you… asking that?”76bfbfce642ab1c3

“Just wondering if you don’t have to go home. If she doesn’t treat you well, you can stay longer. If she cherishes you like gold, you should go. It’ll be annoying if something noisy happens later. Now it’s…”b9d58b14da2a9554

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The man turned his 388b4bf76a head to look at 10029c28ed the clock and narrowed 9a91cbb567 his brow.ef759c7bcb952d7c

“It’s almost 12.”0bcf53effca8ffe8

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He put 367352c122 his hand d95a0355d4 inside his d81839dfb3 suit jacket 5caab787d3 and rummaged 7656e5dcd6 around, looking 3fbf31514d for something. My tongue c7de168406 became free dd7decfb91 as I 4692fab5c4 saw the 2ac299375f red lighter 765716295c that came 2d257572ae out.ff9c7e8bb63d7e1e

“Smoking is prohibited here, right? It is, right?”7521e252549f9c73

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“What’s prohibited?”bbac8c1c9dc0cbd5

The man opened 1ea717c84e the cigarette pack 5425853ecc that naturally followed 61a0897cfe and squinted as c9a6f3b5af if disappointed. I was relieved ef9dafbb82 to see the 8ce58f0f31 empty cigarette pack 2d18b22814 with him. I leaned my relaxed 362835a6e7 head against the wall.4d228249b0951f20

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“You can’t smoke here…”9c00333de0363a19

“Yang Ji-eon.”c193f7b58bbf8a79

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My shoulders flinched fb76ad5ee4 reflexively at the 093bef9011 sudden call of 5fa6343d48 my name. It was f53f60f7cb an atmosphere 808a1d8a7d to say 40dff8591d something important 139d0a7a5a about Eui-joo. I straightened my 6dd83231ee hunched back and d787cdb4b2 sat up, waiting ac6b0fb787 for his next 4817756b4e words.951e8eac9aae6052

“Lend me some money.”afe08506e6f43337

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“Sorry?”bf3eda2f20e2ea4a

“So I can buy cigarettes.”1d919619ef8df771

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“Huh?”4968b75c8dc27aeb

“It would be even better if you bought them for me.”3f0f2e9146a7cb9e

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“I’m a minor, though?”a7d098fe1bdc4ca4

“Can’t minors buy them? I think I bought them when I was your age.”b5cb0f28ee6e5298

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“What?”2e67c93c9fa35cb2

A sneer hung on his lips as if he found me constantly asking back funny. The man, who shamelessly asked me to run errands for cigarettes, nevertheless didn’t pay attention to the condolence money I had offered. I realized very late that it was his unique, high-class joke.8be3fb477748de05

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After eating all the rice cakes, I stared blankly at him as he didn’t forget to eat the remaining side dishes. I was curious about Eui-joo’s brother, who had strangely appeared out of nowhere.4ba929fb0e01fa86

“Excuse me.”41830d72a58a434f

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The man, who aedcbce76f was just about 4c10dc4572 to pick up f6f2d96897 a side dish 5a3eaef61c and put it 3ef0a51638 in his mouth, cbb0bddbb4 fixed his gaze bb405422d0 on me.a3bde78afbb9460a

“What’s your name?”82cff15391c75b8e

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The answer 598cc92140 came later, 3d6493ee88 as the 455865082a chopsticks went 0c04581bc5 ahead to bbab8fd359 eat the b5ffcbfa29 dry boiled 53c410ce55 pork. I moved the chopsticks 1f1a896977 before the man did. I thought it e1b19e8db0 would be better 93b98eefff for me to e58bb053b4 pick it up 1eedc6c435 since the boiled 995753b486 pork was slipping ad60c0bb3c dozens of times. The man 3ff09c99ed quietly watched ad41349fed me move f8383f7bd7 the boiled 16491afdaf pork to e882ac7ac6 his plate 13569b0389 before giving 25334d294f a late f41c864526 answer.50cf8b51d7d298d7

“Kang Eui-tae.”9c8fc1e6e80e9411

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Eui-tae. It was Kang Eui-tae. That was Eui-joo’s brother. After finishing the brief background check, I exchanged glances with the man. Wasn’t the valley that Mom warned me not to go to the deepest and most fun? The fact that I had passed 12 o’clock outside of the study room gave me a subtle thrill.86faaf0eaa660ae8

Eui-joo’s brother was a strange person in many ways. I didn’t know if it was fortunate or something that it wasn’t a sad day that would ruin my short life. On the day of Eui-joo’s funeral, I was continuing an awkward memorial service with the man.31d757076cc1de9f

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