CMT Ch28

The first emotion Seoyoon felt was regret. He should have just worn the clothes he gave him instead of worrying about it. Compared to the other man’s sharply tailored suit, his white t-shirt and jeans felt too careless. The moment he almost burst into tears when he said he would come all the way here to see him, the feeling of wanting to rely on his kind voice that soothed Seoyoon like a real lover felt so distant. The Kwon Kijung he faced was still a difficult and challenging person to deal with.c3aa28e930da90ac

“…Hello.”2ecdb651d4965e62

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At his 1443c435f2 awkward greeting, 7dc640d75a Kijung chuckled e1a8534c5d as if 895779ed5b he had fef7159aef been holding acdeb19991 it in.17739608a1da1d43

“Good greeting. Has it 40341c7ab2 been about 57820a73e1 four hours 01eb661e72 since we 442b43159b parted ways?”bcd5f44c2cfa52d1

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“Still, the ef0e52a916 date has 134f963b25 changed… Thank de844555aa you for d383f84342 coming. Were you at 8ed06e0ed1 the office?”bc7cce781a20e126

“When you called. I was already wrapping 338a363176 up to leave work a5d84a9f99 anyway. Does Seoyoon-ssi a3994da475 usually go 8ae01f187e to bed 215022ebfb this late?”a4367d6528487dae

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“No, I tried to 5c848562f7 go to bed early, 0589db3ab0 but I woke up e402894f37 in the middle and 23ad088c99 couldn’t fall back asleep 099ddd3978 until this hour. I’m closer to 114ef1de78 being a night 679983124b owl, but I 332ba56cd8 have to sleep 6b486c6e4f to go to d8e12f194a work tomorrow anyway.”95fbe1f4d9e8f7b5

Kijung stared intently at 7f327516a9 Seoyoon without losing his 6eca89496c smile. Until Seoyoon, feeling awkward d535a7c141 for having answered for 3772365460 too long again, slowly 08fb15b83a averted his gaze and 46f34cc8a2 slightly lowered his head. As their eyes 0cdef49a22 met, Kijung finally 365956bf90 opened his mouth.bc786c97a4aed82c

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“Looking at you like this, you still seem like a student. Come to think of it, you still have friends who haven’t graduated yet, right?”14aa8f6138071918

“Not many, but there are a few.”a247754dd2db51af

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“I didn’t think a five-year difference was that big…”dad85986e5160b42

His hand came closer and stroked the back of Seoyoon’s neck. The touch on his bare skin was soft and his body temperature was warm, but it felt chilling every time it touched him. He used his fingertips to pull the leather necklace out of his t-shirt to check it, and then he looked satisfied.9ce20bc9e3944f80

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“I was going to punish you if you forgot to bring it.”21d97f0c2dad7c90

“Actually… I remembered right before I came out, so I put it on in a hurry.”0da04429ecd48259

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“It takes time for anything to become a habit.”9f1cf5ac0df39e39

He had 9ee3c19755 one more 65c288da99 item to 11c0e08c22 check. The scars afb0510142 on his 80f77addf3 body, and d310e47877 the necklace. Just a d3dc1d0790 few hours b23d82f37e ago, he 3ef5c6ed7d had felt 43bce7ee17 humiliated and da133f1acb depressed while 602dab6455 being examined, 292ee32c6e but seeing 536d9d173e him satisfied 0415671d9c after checking a67e518b5a his necklace bd00d33217 made him 75ddfbd988 feel a c10fa24e7b little proud. Like when he received d2ca89fb4a a simple compliment after 467759ebe7 completing an assignment without df3f053b7e forgetting.032d04bef9ccc632

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People’s feelings were so unpredictable. He gave a bitter smile inwardly, and Kijung tilted his head slightly closer and asked.8b5187451288ae05

“I heard you got hurt.”0cf6d30661b4ce8c

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“It’s nothing. I accidentally broke a cup and cut my hand a little while cleaning it up.”083cb5be233365a2

“Let me see.”98a67b7bc9baf49b

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It was such a ca48744035 small wound that he 35003aa36a would have been embarrassed 4519e1336a to whine about it. The situation and emotions c926bf745a that had swelled up 9b12b3a3a3 like long shadows when 44b22932c0 he was only talking 2b243b904b on the phone in 9efc21b040 the dark became insignificant bfebf406ce when everything became clear 7e691923a7 under the light.359a97ab3435b253

But it was too 153c0222ba late to turn back. Seoyoon endured 9010372c37 his embarrassment 9cb9ab8e9c and held 3ff469371b out his b667cfb750 hand to 496cb39eb9 him.1480ae04273a4eb7

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“Come closer. So I can see it well.”a44ed3ee74e7bf73

The cut was covered with a disposable bandage, so the trace of the cut was not visible, but just looking at the way it was sufficiently covered by a small bandage, he could tell it was a minor wound. Kijung grabbed Seoyoon’s wrist and shook it lightly, asking him reproachfully.18840571ef4ea982

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“You remember what I said about not liking scratches that I didn’t make, right?”86975859491c9ee9

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt myself on purpose.”3637f27e337e7c87

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He remembered it well. If it hadn’t been for his warning, the wound would have long exceeded the area covered by the disposable bandage. The veins on his forearm, where the scars had faded with constant application of medicine, would have been chaotically covered with blood vessels like a weedy field, and if that had happened, he wouldn’t have dared to make the excuse of an accident.40b96ee0455e70eb

Kwon Kijung quietly looked 9e8094e815 down at his injured a279ceb6c4 hand, then raised his c19d62dfff gaze to meet his f26064d425 face. It was too close 58bf49e400 to avoid his eyes. This time, 8fcdb169a6 his hand d05f52e147 came to b474628c16 the vicinity 0ef10a127f of his 1b50283e85 cheek. He brushed e85f806629 back his 8ec09b394f hair and 68583025b2 joked.008c67e741933f9b

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“Your hair is still a little damp. Did you shower before coming out?”958958c85bb38900

“…I woke up in the middle of the night and was too disheveled. I also sweated a bit while cleaning up the glass.”cec621a649651419

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“What were you expecting that you even took a shower in a hurry?”0facb9f557a4d9c8

“It’s not like that.”5c2e5b2f898a8e13

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But the smile that had been on Kijung’s face as he teased him quickly disappeared. He lightly stroked one side of his cheek and asked.0b2b0d9d631ef7c8

“You’re hurt here too, didn’t you know?”95706ea71f1a972b

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Although he had 5f608043a4 turned on the 2b797e5148 ceiling lamp, the 85b3106a30 car was not 3a948091e7 very bright. He never thought f3dd96c03b he would be ab534e8dca caught so easily dbaaf81bb1 with a wound 1e938b1fd6 that he only 1e89416449 discovered when he efbf9908a6 stood close to b60245f7b5 the mirror.6ba3f37da03a61ea

While surprised by his a0e253f578 keen eyes, Seoyoon tried 78c36bf612 to answer as if 6ef28287be it were nothing.e288d7f885bb8801

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“It was just a slight scratch… I only found out right before I came out.”97fba595e1d933b0

“How do you have to break a cup for glass to fly to your face?”699093e30ab9fe85

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His tone 4e2695420b was questioning. Seoyoon quickly explained.7eff68d76a407794

“I dropped it on the inside of the sink.”3455ab8eb147b22e

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Hmm. Kijung made a low humming sound as if he wasn’t quite convinced. Seoyoon followed his meticulous gaze as he examined his cheek, and then he mustered up the courage to ask what he had been wondering.62299ab064b00502

“Director… How did you know I was hurt?”2b5aa71cd56ce79d

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“If you suddenly wanted to be in pain in the middle of the night, you would have drawn blood.”a6ef8867f762cb3f

It was a simple 40a0f014b4 and clear answer.Am I wrong?He sent a e4aaf6db63 look as if ca2e14bd6f asking that.53066dfee2998540

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“You’re only satisfied when you see blood properly. Han Seoyoon.”e50f1e28c17bc9ca

It was a casual 3ecfb21793 tone as if he 6490c5d572 were saying something obvious, 96d6a33385 but Seoyoon was speechless. He had to 6efaaafba9 deny it, but 4712a23f6d his voice seemed 0d3b84f9b9 to be caught 890cb8dd2e in his throat.97cc00e3facb93ee

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“That’s not, no…”4b4f3cdfe3765814

The voice 8b44ed66eb that barely 0c61d4e1ce came out e2a07b2c24 was terribly 4cc2de6899 shaky and 80b3c6e0fb lost its 729002598f strength at 41df79241a the end. Why was his shameless ad8ad85db9 mouth, which had been 43f474f158 so good at spouting d4d52c5b5f lies, suddenly so flustered? As if he c002bcd8c5 had been hit 643cf014b0 right on the 5cb6c89d9b mark.42265aacb2bd308f

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Seoyoon resented himself for not being able to stand firm in front of Kwon Kijung every time. Kijung stroked Seoyoon’s pale cheek and continued to speak gently.7c3f473a56611c57

“There are people like us who prefer a play called cutting. A very small number, though.”dc74fc80a42fe13d

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“…..”f3944d267f289e71

“It’s a play in the literal sense. Seoyoon-ssi might like it, but I don’t like methods that leave lasting scars on the body.”a5d1534edc5cc107

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“What I did… wasn’t a play. It wasn’t a game either…”06602cd96a089827

Seoyoon stammered in protest like an aggrieved person. Kwon Kijung had asked him from the first day why he was hurting himself. He had explained that he didn’t do it because he liked it, but only as a way to relieve his pain, so Seoyoon believed that he understood him at least in part.952685b0ffaeec84

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He knew that a busy man wouldn’t have come all the way here to comfort him, but what was he hoping for when he greeted him so happily? He had never explained why he was in pain, so he couldn’t comfort him even if he wanted to. In his eyes, he was just the type of person who accidentally broke a cup and scratched his finger, triggering a bad habit that he had been holding back, and wanted to hurt himself and be satisfied by seeing blood. He couldn’t blame Kwon Kijung for the misunderstanding he had created himself.c9b30aaab092d0b9

“I know.”a062ca4976930686

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But Seoyoon raised his lowered gaze at Kijung’s words as he cupped his cheek.e71aca88805520bb

“I didn’t mean to criticize you. You held back from wanting to see blood and called me as I told you to, so you should be praised for that.”54d14acee44455f2

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“……”a939e56d6e2357b5

“I’m not saying that what Seoyoon-ssi did was a game. I’m sorry if it sounded like that. But didn’t you say so yourself? That you feel better when you get hurt and see blood.”d3fd3413fa79b154

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Seoyoon, who had been listening quietly, nodded weakly. It was definitely what he had said, and it wasn’t wrong either.a42758f61c174d15

“You weren’t feeling better just from accidentally cutting your finger, so you called me.”67efde21bebebc3f

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His voice da1226e885 became even 89e3da4bfa lower. Seoyoon shrugged c43d5d6bbd his shoulders 377193c327 slightly, feeling f1773941a2 like the b4f0f8dac2 inside of 72e0a71f75 his ear e0f98b8c63 was trembling c75ff0ff06 even though c95ad34a31 it was 22a53bf218 a small 7b1b0c0c81 voice as 2e5f8943c4 if he 3b1859474d were whispering.450d1634d500fc06

“Because you wanted to hurt more… Isn’t that right?”6ada9b9605fdf058

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It was b9a0200fbc a tone 0efdec7ea8 as if 31dd3938b2 he were 75968ffcba coaxing a 0c677b462c child. A gentle attitude as ad44405b14 if he were saying eafefec913 that he understood him, 5aa6ba1f42 and the sensation of d3d7ec00a7 his fingertips stroking his 3e944997f9 cheek and tickling under 3054606c93 his chin made Seoyoon 5444904af4 want to collapse helplessly.d4478fc2e465077a

“Answer me.”402434e72c2370d8

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His face came ad0d408f85 closer and gently f5672ab14b bit his earlobe. The firm 5c4e060858 teeth dug 748f78a6f3 into his 08fb6b3b35 tender flesh, ae7f2b52b8 and a 833d8b9e47 tingling sensation 50571a754e ran down 5692154c5f his spine. The car, which 6805dc0808 had been neither f6a9403b29 cold nor hot, 41d94ad5ad suddenly felt stuffy d8373965ef and humid.1c2e87aeecc2dde2

“Hng… Tha, at’s right…”55dc884edd18d0da

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But the grip e8879164fb that bit his 8c4c5aefe5 ear was far 4005b4d68d too weak to 3549cac832 hurt Seoyoon. Long fingers brushed 5cf81b757f the scalp and f2d934b09a nape of his b44db043f6 neck. Rather than 1e6d658399 pain, Seoyoon bc781df854 was first 86f6e90cd7 overwhelmed by b0d3aff32f the thick, 780e6fa7e0 suffocating feeling 2965a28c76 he had e44fb166aa felt on c4c84f34be the first 107c52f3ea night when c8f84e6f0b he overlapped 6c30fe9a5b with him, 736e8ef751 which made 3d65939695 his body 27df32764a hot and 5143e9ec43 his vision c0a4b27be3 dizzy.84ee42b5e44b2d05

[To be continued in Volume 2.]