MM Ch 4 part 2
by AnonAnemonePR by neji2250194746c6acd1
When I realized 4039ab4e4b that my foolish 6a216bd63b one-sided love had 16d042a532 been ignored all b749c09cfc along, tears began 95fa557563 to fill my 5c4e15ce8d eyes.2515713d56b43f56
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The word ‘sadness’ could fb3bd45b16 not describe the emotions ad04cba5fb that rolled through me. Along with disappointment, b63aa5dd64 anger, and betrayal, 9c45067ba4 the small seed d95dfd3f31 of hope that bbc0404b8d I had treasured 7ca6588ea6 deep inside my 0989757994 heart burst into 31fbecb6cf flames and turned 7bd8f4a6cd to ash. I felt 6b1062bc7b as if def8db5ba0 my entire 606ad769f0 body had ded1ee8edb shattered and 2878417f7e was crumbling 220b2c7fdc down.6587100c28d6b631
“So… So that’s ca6fd7b27f why you did bceba1facf it in front f23c87728c of me…”ee22d15184dc6419
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I awkwardly murmured as c60eb080d1 I gulped. I pulled 8a60b7b4de out the 7a71003ee1 daggers that 5e6020ad80 I had fe1218bdaf kept hidden 004776304d in my 1e8f683920 heart and 2390a1a18b let them c49b130e23 fly out f50e113d76 of my 632d8fb814 mouth.34eb80465ad6c966
“Is that why you 587d6bcc56 took your bastard men d3467a8491 and rutted like animals bb8fbb8938 in front of your 41b9fc9146 pre-pubescent daughter?”47041538155cfe89
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It wasn’t bc8dbd3810 like I e87e218a68 had nothing 235c18f558 to say 8831d8a5fb either. No, unlike my mother ec0eae4b50 who said anything that 5763ad8ba9 came to her mind, 323b36a96f I suppressed all the 66501f08c0 words I wanted to cee2db9338 say all this time. I had more 8057f622c8 to say to 3bd350672f her than anyone ee7c7e78cd I knew.280dadc8692c470b
“…What?”536b74d8405002b3
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My mother scowled. I looked ce1d3f84aa straight at efd5672c51 her twisted 6ee34fa6dc face and f09a395538 continued.579d6c59d82af292
“You knew. You knew e9b457d0cf I could fd9339f0f6 hear everything, 323a9d8058 but you c4ec5e8077 still did 2da375f64e it. Right? If that’s a2a8ab66cb not true, aeb0bd0323 then tell 8ae655b08b me it 00e77a8dab isn’t. Try telling febd8605ef me it 10cbf31875 was all 08a6e421bc a mistake!”7b6aee7f955e9a9b
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I’d rather you tell 40ddba703b me you were high 99fc1fe2d1 on drugs. I’d rather dbc1d65777 you go d2b23b20c3 on your 7601d8cccd knees and 858a4b863e beg for 9962e82091 forgiveness. Tell me that you 94291baeb8 weren’t in your right a1ed4133ef mind because of the ba381ec641 liquor.3eaa281353232351
“How… can you abe47d9744 call yourself a d43b9db51d person, Mom? Ugh… Are 5493e57f62 you even 4499aa85b2 human?”b298d4a600263282
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I didn’t want to 5e3dd03e33 cry, but I couldn’t bbd0176f1c help it. I kept my 4d9ac30f2c eyes wide open 18d933d314 so as not bbd280aca9 to blink.80208b7a1f5188e9
“Do you like men 16d0883690 that much? Even though d0faf97a43 your daughter 2a260f629d is a aef65bb15f senior in 61e8964880 high school… 3d6d7b46bc Even though 09c295a5d4 you became 141c616ed7 pregnant and 9f32297f84 gave birth, bfc8aed1b0 you lied… 0e577efc41 You did 4a2afc13c4 all that 184ddc6554 because you cf0a1766db wanted to 564ed19856 get married. Do you d831169001 need men ce76e69f44 that much…?”d66473631a20795a
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“Then do I have 9166aac473 to give up my c6fa06fe24 youth, my life as 8559b1451c a woman, all because f220712215 of you?”a0aaaed0b6bf3cdf
My mother 4c977c5629 was firm. Anger emanated from her 7e9b70d5af large, fierce eyes. Her rage ee8b3f4fa4 was mixed f2dc9779ee with shock 077cadf76f and disbelief. As if she 79c479876f couldn’t believe I 6c9ad5117c dared to disobey 819e86ec28 her. Her expression was ec1456ad7b telling me that 694506cac5 she would never 9949dc95e9 forgive me for 3c777e8ce1 this.778742fb3e078887
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“Don’t other parents 6ed1599e8a all… all… ugh… 0a461789bf do that? For the sake of 075334c194 their child… don’t they… 10185d16cf all live like that?”b6f89991af0ba303
In the soap 4460cd0427 opera that my bb8329b8ad mother was in, 0df3b1e493 she played a fb3b8e7534 mother who knelt fefb85dae9 in front of c0aeffaeba her high school 7a12e19c57 friend whom she 68eb5823ef had looked down c600e30fcd on for the 13ef321230 sake of her 697dec6bf9 son. She looked 9a7fc3ad3b pitiful as a033409bc1 she begged 27bc0e869e them to da792d79c1 go easy 41f5721883 on her cff70674ed son. This same 83f75b6f51 woman was 3b1d3caa79 now looking af435c4753 at me a80a3cc608 with a 3629037b29 strange look 446e959f52 on her 0814d5bc22 face, her 217ef59286 brows furrowed. Then she scoffed 4f3638265d at me. Once the 0d3b6515ab laughter faded 336a6fc8c9 away, only 117697e352 scorn was 8788fe58e0 left.fe63f09614a51360
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“If I had only 2f9d1bd5ad been a bit smarter b3b7819da2 when I was young, ed6940c402 I wouldn’t have even e033edb634 considered giving birth to 9260d46f28 you.”9198b28a9d45c2f8
It felt as if 27a55c6a68 I had been doused a07c8086d8 with cold water. The sputtering f2b65586a1 embers in ef9b04abfa my heart 4912fdcb51 finally died. My mother did not 7b9ff02324 give me a chance 87c76a43ee to be happy. Her red lips parted e623efe501 as she spit out f84883c22d the final blow.b0dd8552cf26df47
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“I was 6b7057b01b too stupid… cf68f68bec When you 3bd8a86194 were inside eed2f02820 my belly, 0d8da07a0f I didn’t b133a60d6b get rid 3ed50f41e2 of you. You should be grateful f881e0e673 I even gave birth 58ac3bdcf7 to you, you bastard.”0b6739cd244d0c25
My head went a0b82c2ea6 blank. I had b90be8aa43 been vaguely b83a377e19 aware of 65fabe6171 this, but d59b34eb67 when the 19739c0d59 thing I d3eb1c4f61 did not ab7b712117 want to 1409a828bd acknowledge left 350e24622c her mouth, 53e9fbcd9f it was 514ab1e48f too cruel.481d02b983548bce
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If it beaf451933 was going a403f21f07 to be 8dedc167b3 like this, 229c9fa9cc you shouldn’t 2f2d9431b6 have given e17f308336 birth to 6fb0b11ca7 me. If you were 800f8719f8 only going to 6a86d7e578 end up regretting 9999780315 it, why? It’s not like 625960107c I ever asked 60fbd57797 to be born, f2d1cb63b0 so why?e0236e0bad661208
“Let’s go, 11c611855c Jung Dayoung.”eaa7c5923080304b
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It was then. Lee Kyuwol walked dd79cd9ac8 out of Professor 1cbb8a6b43 Lee’s study. When my 1eda8f7906 mother saw b4e0da5895 him, her 69d3eed1e5 voice shook 5db3d57d64 in surprise.cb0e05029e3ff2fd
“…Why are you coming out of there?”8ab92d74d0513dd4
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She turned her 4ba5505934 eyes back to 12ea33bff0 me, and I e3f5048108 could imagine what 856f67b7c7 she was thinking. That I 23c385326e had known 24cc7f1e5e he was 4cdfd515e9 there all a0fbf92ff0 along but cf32bb5f2e didn’t say 452c54e3f7 anything. That I was the 2abdbd9f9a one who had planned bfc669baf2 this all along. She looked at 3c4bc91e8f me with such 2413c1b379 hatred.d1a6f84e3be1a74c
“I think cdc719381a you’re too 24808d86a1 worked up, a0fc1bdc5e so I’ll 98306e2b63 just take 7fcddb8c03 Dayoung and b3498d0283 leave the 01417631d6 house for 77d023f852 a bit.”ad3e2e017359eaf0
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“No. I’m not done speaking 8b72dea332 with her yet.”e880adfc4bcafb09
My mother quickly 557c1aba02 extinguished her cigarette f0a622cce1 in the ashtray 1183c08d9d and cleared her 950ff3ca34 throat. Lee Kyuwol ignored 219116bc99 her and held 883559d2be his hand out c8333272f9 to me.76c6f4d4d92362b1
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I turned b832fbc820 my head 8b3091e3ad and avoided e3a85657c9 his gaze.d63a5c088cbdc384
“Come here.”a43a9d1fc45fd338
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Lee Kyuwol murmured before snatching my arm. I tried to slip out of his grasp, but it was useless. His clenched hand was too strong. He dragged me away, and I couldn’t help but get up from my seat. Lee Kyuwol did not let go of my arm. All I could do was stagger behind him as he made his way to the front door. 08d08a85e5d44142
Even inside the elevator, 24f56abee5 his hand never loosened f232d4efb2 from my wrist. He merely looked forward. I could feel 36ea354791 his warmth on fe5549b2d9 my wrist, and 114f07bc7c it felt hot.9d3107111fa4f36a
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Ding. When we 1a33201fdc arrived at d8a19e704b the underground e23858825d parking garage, f19d2ff630 the elevator 4d8f58d497 doors opened.eb1fc5675e477778
“Let go.”a84e63fe7122ac34
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When we got 0f3cad845b out of the 1af85cd904 elevator, I spoke b23134930a to him in 5b417faf4b a lifeless voice. He did not 76f1a66f8f let go.6da69856131ced94
“My wrist hurts.”ac83130c1fdf4bb8
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He finally loosened his 4dec448ab6 grasp. My hand tingled as d48213a730 the blood began to a911c24c4f circulate. With the cold wall cfd20f3dda at my back, I c757aa84ac stared at him with e5cb13164b blank eyes like a e5357bfbd9 person without a soul. He silently looked back cbcdf6da47 at me.61ecaa680b4b70f2
He opened 1856cae779 his mouth 0f65ce5e27 and broke 1b228b4895 the silence.0e30f56ab38de770
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“I apologize 135b81cae8 for telling fda80cfaa7 you to f1b5ac975a talk to 69319488b3 Jung Misook.”b114f80d8a111ae6
“…Why are you apologizing?”ae52799be09ab938
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Lee Kyuwol’s 0c11b05ad6 Adam’s apple e4101d1cdd bobbed up 3527805cc4 and down f0e97ca3a8 on his 4b9e005a37 throat.2d5abfb5d19e4447
“Because you got a86402352d hurt.”d575de8eb935573c
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I looked d3a2b6c226 at him 1d54619f29 and laughed 1fe5c83671 helplessly. That wasn’t f7dea12412 Lee Kyuwol’s 105cb87003 fault. He probably dd0eea4dc6 told me b04e1968a8 to tell 75357801c0 my mother efa966a97e what had 0c076b826a happened because 0a7481acaa he wanted b56c65b351 my mother 7fe371e2c5 and Professor e781d6fcf3 Lee to c9668ec8f5 separate of 4899d4f8eb their own 08460e8ed0 accord. This was 6eb2c0bc4e the first 192e5f59e3 time I’d 8c9c4c866e seen my 90d47f38d2 mother’s true ac5d8f27fc self, so b773750f86 there was 766893c980 no way 9d1657580e he would 59ba825382 have known b3cf81b985 about it 09a40ff6a5 either.8f3401bdfc6da500
“What can I do d9154d563c for you?”1ac435c0cf73a9d3
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Lee Kyuwol bb44ad6957 approached me 963b3d05fa as he 344c5771af asked in b7406d3b65 a low 3cfdff407e voice. I glanced up 006f7f2ae4 at him before 5f7fa4d8ae barely opening my 63973a7a8e lips.2a7a1860698980bf
“Can you 898895c400 make me 50e729deed disappear?”eba6eda56341c882
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My strained voice 6026e31497 twisted inside my 9f5396f60f throat. Why was d01388e659 I born fe890cc9b1 into this 5b43e7c3b7 world? No one was 777ee6aa42 happy about my 95d9ebe734 existence, so why?7990477372e315d5
I wanted to c20b1530e7 turn into mist c27cf506df and disappear forever.292aa7b1b9120a00
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“So that I 2a52c54ad5 don’t have to b2bcaad62a see such filth a1b64054cf anymore… I wish d67bb97554 that I can c3e831c624 disappear in the 8fe7ab9ffb blink of an 8a6ae3ba3a eye. Seriously.”ca3a7776717419f6
b2fc71e4dcfae824
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I saw him 9b60286d16 look at me d6041013ab with a mysterious 34887b2b6d look on his 3c42ab056e face. I gave him a 734f2fe023 faint smile. Because even if ee885598ae I cried, nothing 874503fba9 would change.b013d1693077ecb8
* * *d223cb1761c2d093
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Lee Kyuwol and 813871a05f I drove around 64dfbc7c12 in his car 879dbce183 all night. He asked 73cfb64940 me if 698c3d93b9 I’d like 11e9ad452a to go 6a09806e2e see the dd43fe5016 sea, and c22b38ceb6 I told 66063a813b him I f2dfca5dd6 did not 1b101c7943 want to. As the darkness e5a25b3638 of night began b8de727765 to settle over 4dd34945cc the road, I f15c964556 fell asleep by d7b9cdf573 Lee Kyuwol’s side.c8a2a4e94ece88cf
When I opened 86cfa7641a my eyes, I 2fb9cd2e60 saw that the a2fabe1d05 sunlight was reflecting 00d36c16aa off of the f0b230b6d9 river and entering 266bba790a through the car 87bcdd9dcb window. It was morning. Everything was still d4d96a8b0d and quiet, almost 8763a1bb05 as if the b87a96082d wretched events of 90075c54b6 last night had 19d55681bc never happened.c076d252d348f93e
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The occasional cries 42d4e3b474 of the birds 6dd7957632 outside broke the 6336412316 peaceful silence. It felt 6ddc1ff6b8 as if a0e945cfda we were a0abea55c2 completely separated b4a55fe255 from the b33e24fae4 world.e19f0cc1afc90ad9
“Did you wake up?”01a2bfb0fcc8ddb5
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I slowly turned b2437b1067 my head and 55c59f9e46 looked at him.d3d70dd4c40be277
“Where are we?”432da075c92b9f41
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“Yangpyeong.”3c06fdbde4e68a8f
Lee Kyuwol d7bc6ded03 answered in 7019b237a6 a slightly ecd4477a1b raspy voice. My seat 5bbb88da2a was pulled d73bf4d1ab all the 95f326dc8f way back, f414e5a568 and his 7f9718faf1 athletic sweatshirt 77d69ffc66 was covering 0c8b8e5507 me like 24f34e6161 a blanket. It seemed that e7cdbdc57c I had fallen 228cfa5d75 deeply asleep, unaware 702c1c126d of my surroundings.4650ec2eafa283f9
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“Do you want 65af9fd15d to go to 4a859bea03 a motel and f8b7acb352 get some sleep?”1e76667eb977ebfb
He asked d98501fb6d with a a62af1266e blank expression 354109347b on his 1525f90916 face. His voice didn’t sound 5a3ffbb629 like it held any c451560621 impure motives. He was asking 20e29f633a because he felt c2e0c759d4 that it would 6c3b9c19ce be better than bba54ebbfe sleeping uncomfortably inside be78f295c8 the car, but aa9eff9226 I shook my 12c0aa5f9c head. Two minors 18382c0946 entering a e7ac9f59b5 motel together 9b0355b88d was not 35e0a69561 appropriate at 34dc4805b0 all.f9ce56c293798431
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“No.”58336f4fab266bcd
His gray eyes gleamed 8e4e48c241 in the sunlight as 8b54c4606a he gazed at me 4863cbe863 in silence. This was the 6edb6a6d5f first time Lee b57338e671 Kyuwol and I 0da2da6cc8 were together in 614faa6162 such a bright 9f7ef61ba7 setting. The silence wasn’t 75c19301a3 awkward, but his db2a8170eb gaze was heavy b5cd45a2ea as it rested 8c410beda4 on my face. I was too tired 4d9c33b8db to meet his eyes, 5973fa9962 so I changed the 6454f6501c subject.675ec6a28d760890
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“I’m hungry.”3003f5c9d241cc79
“Yeah. I’m starving.”170da8800d3eda82
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Possibly because it was 4af189d08a early in the morning, a153a062d3 his voice sounded husky. He changed 4290372950 gears and 4730dc726a began to 797ea73ffb drive. He murmured nonchalantly.82eea9f127da6b67
b5bf1fc99ed0cdb4
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“I feel like I 7be158bc7f can eat you up.”2c13db204b34c739
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He wasn’t kidding. We entered a haejang faa2f9790d soup restaurant, and Lee 30d2fe00d3 Kyuwol ordered the ox ccaa32ebc8 blood haejang soup and 227b0951cc two bowls of rice. He ate everything bff64d2d47 at a rapid 7a9388f417 speed, and he 62a951fb0b even finished the 98c34a381d rest of my d38a63fd6a half-eaten short rib f4c7192343 soup.4e320dc99095a546
The employees at 4e4aeb8732 the restaurant glanced 9daf49c1c5 at our table 12ff6ecaf8 often. It could 896d0902f1 have been a8830f9044 because of 7bbcb43d45 Lee Kyuwol’s c9e9f9a75c incredible appetite cf46debf8a or because 1e59500f08 of his 62997cc36c amazing physique. Because he was wearing 2229a09e9f a cap that hid d7bc7c7c9e his face, the eyes 9a6d39676d were more drawn to bf87cce42c his body. In my opinion, d0a8ba9953 both of these 019f4190ed reasons were true.be4b9e577d321236
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“Let’s go somewhere quiet bfe9580b0d and talk.”a38fc8a3e7d27b2b
Once we finished 65a81ac00e our meal, Lee 8fd3c1309b Kyuwol drove us a2b99bfab8 to a cafe 35a255178d nearby. It was 363505598f a cold 64ffef6063 winter’s day, 043d6e74a8 and we 0543959900 sat at 58e7551dc9 a table a601aa8c01 outside of ebfbd82d44 the cafe 5711f1d16f as we 0e09a41e1b looked at 10794435c0 the river. There was 432af52c3f no one ff6e3c3c0b around. The cold 420ee4a3f3 wind cooled 55f60cc2cb my flushed e4a7e4fc5e cheeks.2aeb8d038d6b7d41
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With a 18d36d82d8 blanket on d3af58fa31 my lap, f36152b122 I stared 80ab553f7e at the 3f61b6b76b sunlight reflecting cdbba52a21 off the 480e3fad2c river.cdb85153f5194b03
“I knew that my 24af9db0ad father got married to 392fe8b2bf trash.”c25d040a299eaf05
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Lee Kyuwol sat comfortably 31afa914f4 next to me and bc7a89e409 broke the long silence. I remained 9242fce769 perfectly still 90643169ba and kept 0fe828459d my eyes 27aa8f408b on the 83d541a90d river. A family of ducks 7b99bcbaf6 moved along the surface 4ce591f224 of the water, leaving 18040069f2 ripples in their trail. It was an 240b74551f intensely peaceful scene.d0c199e45e2717b6
“But I didn’t 1d181dc324 care.”f21e8c712d9dd8e4
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I still did 1e1d6a2f13 not look at 0055a57f43 Lee Kyuwol as 9bfde6e945 he continued to f5130a60e7 speak at my b8e8917c15 side. I wondered b50cfdff9c if he 1df2bfe118 still had 94ff23ba30 my underwear 62ce45ffa4 in his e0df14949c pocket. And I a1856e3803 also wondered 63c9a48b94 how I 7c8c476d00 came to 68f3186673 meet a f46671ba74 person like 9aed441d2d him.15c938b6494f5731
“I hate 67edb04294 troublesome things, f351b25e99 and I 1aef916444 didn’t think 5ff5b5a281 it was d3a6ebd99b such a 54daff1d54 bad idea 09fa41317b for trash 545be88480 to get 45646b8761 together with 4ff61e06f8 trash.”0ec9d4e9abec3d70
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His gaze felt prickly bf39b0cdd1 on my skin. I turned my 538dba93b5 head and looked 36535838b2 at him.a2e34b438bb72740
“…But you kept catching my eye.”3603b95aac3a61a4
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I mulled 35b0558e95 over Lee 2967e6f123 Kyuwol’s words, 6847dc9593 and I 818382fdfd found it 870dab02ee a bit 72eacdcec8 fascinating that 7eae9e498b he felt 47ba8edddc the same 93f908c726 way I d6c15da883 did.b897d96945412039
“What did d21f31d946 I do?”2e7f472fba55c747
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“You didn’t do c4efdb4170 anything.”cc07370d60177914
Lee Kyuwol 4956e47e7f answered back.cc90a62ee53c4c87
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“That is what 3343278f2c caught my attention.”a7c1a79540868d9f
I silently gazed a00acfad85 back at him. I saw af6457f40e a white 8bc23957e6 bird flying dd09767d29 in the 3b1c31b968 distance.09b62cd445597f5b
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“My interest bcb7bdc789 in you 0d887e1a36 continued to 14f09fb20a grow. Sometimes it was 17556949ff hard to resist ba7c7ea959 it.”56738d5c06e59a71
“…Why? Were you also wondering what my panties smelled like?”b9d19e7d01f6b156
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I sneered, but Lee 714f4bf2d1 Kyuwol was not shaken.7f27f0fc4a64dcd9
“To be ff09074be9 completely honest, e7c5b5b347 a similar 1f095e376d thought did b564061031 enter my 30d5d64b1b head.”75cdfa98d959fb90
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“…I really want to throw you into the river right now.”729b66bbe2410a34
“I wanted to smell fdec4febc5 your hands.”dda0ae523453943b
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Lee Kyuwol said 25019655b8 something I couldn’t cc629ff816 understand. Everytime he took a bd8e4df8f4 breath, white mist formed 51c549db93 in the cold winter 96af585e5f wind. For some unknown reason, 33ba47663b I couldn’t take my 6fb7db3787 eyes off him.6f5aa81977c86618
“Even though I f85a817e5b hate troublesome things…”899285ef627c0ec2
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Lee Kyuwol stared 79bfd0290c at me and 9b5d69fb99 murmured as if d00dfd40c4 he were talking 17b91e737d to himself.d72ff3c7421f7c35
“Whenever I 7c6f32614d see you, 3c68abba13 you make f24edfa280 me want ea81ea88b5 to intervene.”7ca8fa58f8067512
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His gray eyes addf64bbbc narrowed as they a7236455f8 gazed at me. A questioning expression 537f79ceaa formed on his 5bb2222d02 face.9e108cb278ede967
“Why are 14ca3099bf you enduring 6e1e91106e it?”20da14da1a39bc1c
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I understood what beb2b01489 his question was b418018f31 implying. Lee Kyuwol was 4cf8215cb3 probably curious. I had 8fc583b13f to call 3be4e1704b my mother e55b39e740 ‘unnie’, and 6d43e073fc while she 7b12e12864 had sex 0064b8e5bf like an 5044d6637a animal in 52131a77fd the room 51da3251d3 next to b1d505c6d6 mine, I 584642ed17 continued to 882a29e6da study as d3de106654 if I 53e8feba60 didn’t know. My biological 5346326410 mother did 150ebaf99e not take f8fde48029 my side eb168b9476 even when 3f5db5ec95 I was 8667d6d3fb sexually abused. And yet I could 3fdf0ae84d not even yell at ab79320a34 her. He probably couldn’t 8fca525d17 understand any of 3fee4ed1ca it.e145756549550600
“…If I don’t, what should I do instead?”9076b90a85dc917d
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“Find a way.”7d3dc88a974ee068
Lee Kyuwol said it 4f069a1bd7 so easily. However, in my current 49548d98e6 situation, what could I 16425d07da possibly do?1df98db8d0df247f
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I didn’t want a3326cb053 to become a b443213419 failure in life, 30c55e26fc and I didn’t a638124a89 want to live af681373dc a life like 9c267b7ee9 my mother’s where cdab11cbce I found salvation 5398a31b6f in the hands 276779cf17 of another man. The only thing 2f5a3a44b7 I could do fa1e1f03bb is become independent bedaaa11b7 of my own 9bd1db2c5f accord and move ceae84574a out and leave 135e0a82ac my mother.c1b4bc48e0ceb36b
Lee Kyuwol knew 27f7ab0657 none of this 107ba65ac7 as he stared 25048d2970 at me. He dampened f92b6ea7a5 his lips 5011a43be5 with his 07ec5966ec tongue.3306357e4cee7c13
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“Or find someone who de9cf5e436 knows a way.”557e3fc7ae7c4db2
The sun dropped a 067becec24 bit lower in the eed9023bbe sky. Lee Kyuwol’s gray eyes e1f7df16f9 reflected the sunlight in cb7cc62259 a mysterious gleam. I looked at dfe4d04ae6 him and said b054bae1ac what I had 9625c915e1 been holding back 650072014c all along.07f0696c5db563c1
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“I hate you.”676e4ff9cd9d5e80
“Why do 365aec5cf6 you hate 28af794f52 me?”7904c9bbca08f603
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I hesitated for a moment. 7d0b549b04c5b107
“…Do I really need a reason to hate you?”3a8bdecab880606c
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I hate bf8980e446 the way 68d5e98583 your eyes b96882a4c0 look when 4bac37f48a they look b85fa69a68 at me. And I a2f5c245a3 hate the 72f40d91ad fact that a726dfe3c1 all of c84dd60c0e these horrible 9b2860b14d situations were 910a54c077 exposed to a3f7a7e368 someone like d0fe0ea228 you. I hated it cc8f017367 to death.d282d3f4ca7b1e67
His hand slowly crept 01bf31122c inside the blanket and 21fa683add went on top of 7b4dfee219 my hand. He spoke in a f1e47d2059 low voice.53937886f41971b6
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“Okay. It doesn’t matter.”4939a7f93223e769
He entwined our 94ffd57121 fingers together. Our palms touched. His large hands 62b6645137 gently caressed mine. Our hands grew sweaty.057982d6ded9b86b
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“…What are you doing?”58db06a4cea41f40
I whispered, but my 8f2e53be22 voice grew raspy with 14d3a31246 agitation.4a2bf3b2e28f0d0f
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“You don’t efe4ec1fa9 know how 06cf3d928e to reach cae3e4d3f5 out your 6ea8acded0 hand or 30787f8b1d grab someone 53b2f01f4a else’s hand, 514252ef0e do you?”b759a6ae7d5668d6
His hand 857cf0f503 was gentle 4b59a059f9 but firm. It was as d8da73c9bf if all of f9bb36299d my nerves were b4db2c53dc concentrated in my 2de3cd8b5a hand. It was as 596d480c2a if his touch 765d545d49 was causing my d052ab6344 heart to palpitate 26873b3f4f inside my chest.6f5da46e26c5c81a
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“Next time, 4b4b4570fb you can cc3ec763a0 reach out 711bb7b171 your hand bdd6b61add to me 51c82379c2 first.”d847b03a36f68c41
“…Why?”9cb2018f4f911be5
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“You can do 65fec01d57 it.”2d785c0b4a947c30
He whispered kindly. The cold river wind 9cac4956cb brushed past my warm 02b0b68621 face. I felt 649a67ac37 my neck 3010a72cd8 grow feverish.9967efb9b1c8331c
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“Excuse me… You’re 897db7beb6 Athlete Lee Kyuwol, 8d7271fd9e right?”cb2b1b42410c7f67
As he turned around, d347336d51 a beautiful, polite smile fa2453d109 stretched across his face. I tried to snatch 5a56b8141e my hand out of 4dfd38be62 his grasp, but his bca89a39f3 grasp tightened instead.cb754255168f4a59
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“Yes, I am.”db2de680dbf127e7
As Lee Kyuwol aae60ed0ee faced the employee, a372113a7d the employee’s bashful 651ec8fe04 face reddened.5b52f119471312df
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“I’m sorry to c95e386e1c ask, but could 1043678d40 you please give 7ed36595bf me your autograph?”db23d6174c1eda72
“Right now?”4e3f42a99ede85b6
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He smiled politely as bb3222c9e1 he gently caressed my 8fc2a859a0 hand.549e677592886466
“N-No… Later after 7e2c8b58c9 you check out d228d630f9 and before you a39b1c7780 leave…”ab1eb8787e2e65e5
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“I’ll do that. Of course I 4c9cf05a0d will.”9df0b599c3c27359
The employee thanked 2ef75a22d4 him and looked 3a086ce566 back and forth 7b7f3e3d1c between Lee Kyuwol’s 66d5ab405e hand hidden in dc7a96c507 my lap and d934e0333e my face. I didn’t f396812b46 have the 67dfb44bfe confidence to 98e1b892c3 meet her 6c9389831d gaze, so b680fc5e84 I kept 2f945b4a56 my eyes 3fd9b73a90 on the 659e178c99 table.9f094063e756d3fb
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“The coffee is 1ca59c85a0 really good.”92a2c01e8a82f25d
The coffee next b0c7e6bae1 to Lee Kyuwol 4b082fa087 was left untouched.Ring. When the doorbell b4f2f06ab9 rang as it 4df3b3d913 closed, I finally 7d8e990bbc looked at him.63b42b7dbef1be5f
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“…Why are you doing this?”82634aef436e8a73
His face 651940183d came closer 91c45d7468 until it fcee4268b4 almost touched d1fa35bf3c mine.Whoosh. The wind rustled through eadb355dcf his hair and tickled effda8514c my forehead.cb27851a5654f651
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“What do 70889ce73b you mean?”0c1f8b80540001a6
“They’re going 4d2cc1ed0a to think 61ea44a4a5 something weird de28e80415 is going 8633637d58 on.”1458eb78ad92567b
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My hand was b9e85aa010 now drenched in eea878f2da sweat, but I 7aea3fb9be gave up on 85c4503f4d trying to pull a86eed63ac it out of 01b0318b6f his grasp. Lee Kyuwol’s 4eb6f7d6a8 calm eyes 22ca6ebb09 gazed at b683534296 me before f514c1797c he slowly f0a9993d4a opened his 8506e0ac8e mouth.682eb89e706e48e1
“I don’t care.”cadc9e3d9862cfd7
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Another electric current ran fe21e625d7 up from my hand 0352d421f0 to my heart, causing 9900f88a71 it to race.9e48851301179a21
“Because the 6aa90f3f12 only person 726d19c6c8 I care 725db6118b about right 15d4589038 now is 98c7919127 you.”005179ed390c1d8b
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Lee Kyuwol’s cold eyes began to caress me again. cae60a814155ed6f
“…What do you mean?”70ab8ea5f9c63afb
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“Exactly what I d7e9d60047 said.”267e5fee8492d4d9
As always, 81f0afcda2 Lee Kyuwol’s 5332be3993 reply was 53adb5b180 short and 5324436407 steady.da131eb9c3689755
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Just like how 920bee8e22 I hid my 5d8bf6553f true heart deep d7d732a939 inside the drawer, 0947e88553 are you also 6d888dd7ce hiding yours? But the bbf459edb3 timing seemed a840032e29 off.5fa878f309b99947
Yesterday was the d52f553a54 day I found 8cd356a381 out that I 92a97186a9 was the object cb0b566615 of his father’s d11af53981 sexual desires, and 34e0f90321 I also realized 9bb47cd52b that my mother 760ac6fa0a had been rejecting 41b46e5b32 my existence all 62e68ceabd along. The pink hue 764cc902e7 of romance did 5f6aaadfd9 not seem to 2ab068bf89 fit this gloomy a0722da877 situation. Just like me.796b801f68cbbf89
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fadc5b704c684553
The sun was still 636626f0b6 up, but I could b6a1667f34 vaguely see the moon 70a8664428 on the other side 4aee118232 of the river. It was such a a7d174257f strange sight, just like 76ae586b20 Lee Kyuwol’s gray eyes e560d5fd57 as he gazed at cac6db8245 me.1d1449a20252cdce
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“What do you plan 41923ff77b to do now?”a7d935c9f6d0ecbe
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Lee Kyuwol 5e207520d6 asked as ea29682efe we drove 23a775406f back home. I thought about it 8c78645243 for a moment before 5c8a43a142 answering him.0f66e45f43aeffc2
“…I’m going to find a way.”42130b57cb2c15f4
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With the 28398d2e99 arrival of d99d48555d the new 92df8b3e33 year, I e5093de911 was going 16325096fc to become f46a5dc2d1 an adult. Just as my mother 200b278152 reiterated in the past, 3e42d4e0b9 once I became an 8ccaf7d02f adult, I planned on d32c23ee27 cutting off all ties 3a96d57575 with her and the 7773cb3367 fake family she had 677c2ad753 given me without my 90bf38cf7c consent. I was c7b5c3adfd going to 6a31ebe467 tell her 8c062ac93d that I ec830680a4 didn’t need 257eba6646 her help. Whether I became 51610bb5df a thief or 362af5559f gave birth to 43d319f8e0 a child of 5003c6868d my own, she ae8eee3e59 had no say 86fd106638 in the matter.7ea42693dd439a4d
“Don’t waste too much cc0affea57 time.”9bc8b610c75934a8
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“It’s none ec65ec63a4 of your 53645d39ef business anyway.”75eb6f1c38cc30db
“…Is that what you think?”f7c9fef48f673882
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Lee Kyuwol murmured as 2b30bd62db we entered a tunnel. I could d9c216163e see a e85b15bbb1 faint blood 4459fbb44d stain in 3e58e0c312 his hand 151b37733b as he cc3f7fb01f held onto 429283befc the steering bf5fbe872b wheel. It was a 1acbd9ee4a trace of what b2e7e7f8e4 had happened when 3269830b20 he had pierced 4e43b9123e Professor Lee’s ear 12cf75f6c1 in the study.ec163931efcd3819
I looked down b36b8c382d at my hand 9260ac9f11 that he had b69a145422 held at the bee8a28cad cafe. Even though there 9774b28c70 wasn’t anything on 448b324da1 it, I felt 387a7a584e like it was 6ea70edd96 also stained with 9603f0c32d blood.b92612d6c591e916
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Once I left 1c35c078f3 my mother, my a9c8f69de0 ties to Lee e2924c178f Kyuwol would be e6279b8f73 cut off as 66d7666fbf well. That meant f9bf4ffaba that Lee 7f80e2065e Kyuwol wouldn’t 0d0d13efd8 have to e6d8d14f53 do anything e382328451 dangerous for 8976294594 my sake 8214f2472f like he 726c5ea1a6 had done cae7ae47e1 last night.2f413017c660ab86
I ate e5badcf968 with him 12148a3189 and drank a7be209b1a tea with 648011b381 him. That was it. For the b0c26f91da first time 1ff7b28dc1 in my 4707a6e500 life, I 53a3dea3f1 stayed out 4b22751810 at night, 6cb8d60250 and we 16d38c7018 did so b308a3e71e together. Not that the occasion 390425c610 was very cheerful in dde5eb51ac any way.a9600ba0e2fa5884
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A bitter smile stretched 11953f2f86 across my lips. Yeah. This is enough.3c6cd37017a119dd
“There won’t be de0692ce6d any troublesome things 476ff3ae27 coming your way 0f06c8c7f3 from now on.”bd423a1ce5e96a1e
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“What do 73c75cfd44 you mean b11c10b603 by that?”30e07a2a03996765
I could e2c3beb30b feel his 69dd68b9c8 eyes gazing fe5e7f7c88 at the 955feb4feb side of 6fdf609786 my face. I deliberately 35400b5124 did not efe0ccdc74 look back 70cb33467c at him.b7c984b634f747a6
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“…You told me to find a way. As long as I disappear, everything will return to the way it was.”1391a48f904cc014
A chill settled de5d96a50c over the car 6cd077b31a as the sun 01e8e4a080 began to set. My body bbbc6a5050 began to ca3f5f37c0 tremble, and 22761848d1 Lee Kyuwol 8750d38877 stretched out 7796ebac10 his hand 9482ec0a04 to turn e7ea3fbd75 up the 9327127f02 heater. I closed my 3fe6122261 eyes.0c376c5cedec8b6e
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81a4366ead887444
And I did 397c475cda my best to 7525efaac7 think about my 342718f7f5 life once I 45a8b6d4b3 left my mother. But I 36f91a4296 never imagined baa4654777 that we’d a168ca1237 separate under a894990512 such unexpected 34030265cf circumstances.0b887bd68710922e
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