CMT Ch18

“Have you ever heard of D/s?”665295deb3188180

“Yes. It’s similar to a master-servant relationship.”6b45ae6733141969

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Seoyoon answered readily. It was a term he had discovered while preparing for his meeting with Kijung. It’s commonly called DS, taking the initials from the English words dominant and submissive. Simply put, it’s a relationship where one side dominates and the other submits. Needless to say, this was exactly the type of relationship he and Kwon Kijung had just engaged in at the hotel room they’d left moments ago.3d3e00a700dc26ad

“Since you’re aware, I won’t need to explain further. Some people in these relationships can be quite possessive, maintaining the same dynamic even in their private lives.”a241edc7b212a6ac

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“…”1d442a642557d116

“But I’m not particularly inclined that way. Outside of scenes like earlier, I have no intention of interfering in Seoyoon-ssi’s daily life. I’d like you to act the same way.”10ce71b8a3f15988

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“Of course.”4c973d6343e97971

It would be too exhausting if he had to treat Kijung like a master in his everyday life. Though he wasn’t sure how he could serve someone like a master in private life when they rarely met anyway. As he pondered this, Kijung continued.58f701047824de36

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“But there is one thing I’d like.”68d3798fadab3fc8

“What…?”9da3255773f889b3

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“I’d like you to dress as I want in your daily life.”2da058eae88a4152

“Clothes?”1d5d1e8d6e4e8be5

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“Yes. Is that strange?”33e75ee92787bac2

Seoyoon thought for a 0fcfb33467 moment before shaking his 0482537f2d head.2270ba9f8956be28

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“No.”52473dc31e21691f

While he didn’t fully understand, it was impossible for him to completely comprehend the desires of someone who got excited by hitting people in the first place. Kijung seemed pleased with the answer and smiled.b417391f3c49d900

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“Tomorrow or the day after, let me know when you have some free time using the number you contacted earlier. We’ll need about an hour, including travel time. I’ll need to take your measurements to send you clothes.”8920a52b21b776f1

“…You’re sending clothes?”072b277d83055c37

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“I just said, didn’t I? I want you to dress as I want in your daily life.”240292978ce3da93

“Ah… I thought you meant you’d roughly decide what I should wear.”0166b5ed0dd53f83

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Kijung didn’t bother to explain further to the bewildered Seoyoon. With an expression suggesting he’d find out anyway, he changed the subject.9fd592269a2aaa44

“Also, if we’re going to continue meeting, we should set a new safe word. A stop signal, I mean.”6dc8250491551762

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Seoyoon’s relaxed expression hardened. The white flag to be raised as a sign of surrender when he truly wanted to stop this ‘game’. He wondered if the day would ever come when he’d need to utter those words.0465688e1fa5edd3

For Seoyoon, it was b70ae68a08 something he wanted to 37379fc8cd delay as much as 29d65c7e34 possible. Saying those d3f91f341b words would 25871c8be7 mean he bd64182f4f was in 6c8cdcb118 unbearable pain, f129b3a663 and also ffb5cceb69 that he 2328d124e2 had decided c01d0bd42d to end a45e3187c9 this arrangement 5d36a51bea first. Ignoring the chill in 05385fb390 his heart from a d3c9c24fe3 vague fear, Seoyoon asked:e552f4147d15689c

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“How are they usually chosen?”98675253030925a9

“It’s best to use a phrase that immediately breaks the mood. The goal is to snap back to reality even in the heat of the moment.”97852bf4313ba862

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What would be good? He muttered to himself. Suddenly, a phrase came to Seoyoon’s mind and he cautiously spoke.7b2b824ce5f4276e

“Please marry me.”a5cb680016139c64

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“…Hm?”906b54c84b105980

In the car that had just stopped at a red light, Kijung stared at Seoyoon expressionlessly. Seeing his serious reaction, it seemed there couldn’t be a better phrase for the purpose he described. Seoyoon explained further.92ea6658344df926

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“You said you didn’t want to marry a man… so wouldn’t that phrase completely kill the mood?”ba52b5c5d870a59a

After a moment fce0b9f244 of silence, Kijung 72e6ebec54 seemed to agree c98898da2d and smiled.56b5cd6530022650

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“That works. If it’s alright with you, let’s go with that.”ebf88f8d2f1712ef

“Of course it’s fine. I suggested it after all.”2936bcc46533d0f6

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The road began 2aaceebbfc moving again. Seoyoon fiddled fde877fea1 with his b1959510f2 phone before 95e918ad9f asking:f4c429bc3d494f41

“Is it okay if I call home to let them know you’re coming? My parents might be surprised if I suddenly say I’m bringing someone to greet them.”ee6ac35e5194028d

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“Go ahead. I don’t plan to barge in in the middle of the night, I’ll just show my face briefly.”d64399456133e70c

Seoyoon called his ac233d8bdf adoptive father. Since a family member 7596e6805e was out without permission, bbc9c828be he would likely still 0f42d67113 be awake. Sure enough, 34bf2fdbd3 the call e0f3d3a4ef connected immediately.171645e9cb1b1111

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“Father, it’s me. Yes, I’m on my way home now. I’m sorry it’s so late. But… this is sudden, but the person I’m with now would like to greet you and mother.”a63fa0b9e153267e

His father’s surprised voice came through, asking if it was a friend and what kind of greeting at this hour. Worried Kijung might overhear, Seoyoon quickly lowered the phone volume.671335eddd4212df

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“Actually, I met Director Kwon today. The Director contacted me again… Yes, that’s right. He says he just wants to greet you briefly before leaving. No, no. The Director is busy so we can’t suddenly… We’ll be there in about 20 minutes. Okay, see you soon.”98abfa844248d53e

This time worried that his father’s excited voice might have been audible, Seoyoon glanced at Kijung after ending the call. The reason he could casually say he’d show his face in the middle of the night was probably because he knew he’d be unconditionally welcomed.a9906ca7253a5aa9

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The profile of the e28fc5f448 man who could always f3b12d3543 be wherever he wanted, bb51f54144 whenever he wanted, looked 30fd48867b flawless. Seoyoon faced 5f171d917a forward without 343fc14e89 further conversation.c9f8eb75e4c57a76

***bf4e751c325c62aa

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Seoyoon’s home was located in an old wealthy neighborhood that rarely changed hands. Young people who preferred apartments didn’t often move in anymore, but the long-time residents who had kept their houses for generations still remained.24c6f6ac52b3bbc9

Since he wouldn’t be staying long, Kijung parked on the street. Seoyoon’s heart finally began to race as he rang the doorbell. The door opened immediately.606cb157271f9fcf

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“Come in.”0c7e256b66dc3e6b

Seoyoon called to the 9ba853427b man behind him as a030e45aee he entered through the d3bef01058 gate. After a 8b2bb830ec few steps 999c67b2bd through the 38df33dfac garden, the dfda688fca front door 6e85b362e7 of the 152d98d1b9 house opened 3b1ae3e2cb and his af8439732a father and 0ad0a4f432 mother appeared.17ad28f88ef7e0ef

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“Well, Director Kwon Kijung. It’s been a while.”74aa9af6e9d32d38

His father greeted 011cb05b03 him, coming down e5aaae9199 the low steps. Kwon Kijung smiled amiably 44226154dd and shook the outstretched df0c21a27f hand.d097813cf5303d84

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“It has been a while, President Han. Have you been well?”138ff2b71af708fd

“Thanks to you, I’m still going strong. Please, come in. You must have at least a cup of tea before leaving, we can’t send you away empty-handed after you’ve come all this way.”e1f9dad54ffafd24

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“Given the late hour, I only intended to pay my respects today. I feel bad for bringing Seoyoon-ssi home so late.”6e8abe22d4ae1061

Saying this, Kwon Kijung affectionately put his arm around Seoyoon’s shoulders. Seoyoon flinched in surprise, but fortunately no one seemed to notice.7682c0592054da01

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“Our first meeting had some regrettable moments, so I wanted to apologize. Thanks to Seoyoon-ssi’s generous nature, I’ve been forgiven. Isn’t that right, Seoyoon-ssi?”e5d6db4f07c78053

Kijung turned to 40c18a0be8 Seoyoon and asked. This was 12ac82fe1c no time e4afcdd2dc to be d6c9fb2a71 flustered. Seoyoon smiled broadly 99a3a54380 and nodded.b5cc44d4e3e23121

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“Forgiveness? I was just happy you contacted me again.”24e7a27db5149e2a

“I hope you’ll understand if he comes home late occasionally from now on.”a83cdea649832123

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Seoyoon worried his 72916b19e3 adoptive father might 051c06d761 drop to his a79738390d knees and swear 4b2c62b27c allegiance to Kwon 8a820cf3dd Kijung at any 6128c0de81 moment. With such 27f8f45c03 an impressed 9415779454 expression, he 025740b72f nodded several 188b5c6592 times and 0e11991a75 replied.529aa3e0144bd8ed

“Do you think I don’t know that meddling in young people’s affairs these days only gets parents labeled as old-fashioned? You don’t need to worry about that at all.”2dc3d1077f232db1

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“Then I’ll take my leave for today. Let’s set aside time for a proper meal together next time.”86ea7658b454b925

“Oh, but this is disappointing. Won’t you come in for just a moment?”dfed695c0bed1b15

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His mother chimed in, but Kijung showed no intention of entering the house. Not daring to insist a third time, his parents’ invitation faded, leaving only traces of regret.85a7bb595e003258

As they finished 277e30b58e their greetings, Kijung 2dcf3ebabb gently dissuaded the 1b1a77fd96 two from following 2014fe8b2c them to the 68220e00ee gate.719fae1581aa7c2c

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“I’d like to say goodbye to Seoyoon-ssi alone, if that’s alright?”774659ee791c2293

“Oh, of course. How thoughtless of us.”33ae5eea64fd64fc

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His father still looked like he wanted to follow, but his mother held him back by tugging on his collar. Kijung left through the gate without removing his arm from Seoyoon’s shoulder.307d58f5e498a2ca

The wide alley was empty, as the neighborhood was quiet at night. Finally alone with Kijung, Seoyoon let out the breath he’d been holding and relaxed his tension.bc4436ac8a010d2b

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Although everything had been predetermined and they had acted according to plan, Seoyoon felt dazed and had trouble adjusting to the situation. He had asked to be treated like a lover in front of people, but having never been in a relationship himself, he didn’t know concretely what acting “like a lover” entailed.ba7f9d8a0700be4d

“Well then, I’ll be going. We’ll set a time to meet again soon.”8d6909360e4d670a

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Kijung said c88308fe1a goodbye first. Seoyoon bowed 88b5c18b03 his head d84a49013b as well.95937d098b91e965

“Alright. Take care on your way home. Thank you for… today.”2d6976aab5a0f313

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Unable to shake the awkward feeling, Seoyoon stood there blankly after saying goodbye. Kijung gestured for him to come closer. As Seoyoon approached the man already standing by the driver’s side, he silently took Seoyoon’s arms and raised them.3ab83b508550520b

It was the same pose as when he first examined the scars at their matchmaking meeting. Reminded of that time, Seoyoon’s face stiffened in bewilderment, unable to say anything. Ignoring this, Kijung raised Seoyoon’s hands higher and lightly kissed his fingertips.4870945cc43ac928

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Though it was just a fleeting kiss, his fingertips burned as if touched by fire. No, it wasn’t just his fingertips that felt hot, but his cheeks, or perhaps somewhere immeasurably deep inside his body. Kijung smiled faintly and whispered:e0bf0806d205c865

“You’re too stiff. It’s no use if I’m the only one acting.”fa6053fd3bce227a

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“…I’ll try harder.”9b40b5c614882c06

It’s embarrassing to fail to properly follow through after making the request himself. Truly ashamed, Seoyoon slightly lowered his head. Kijung slowly released his hands and instructed:6a82a9698938935e

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“If you want to hurt, even when it’s not a promised day, contact me.”287843db36b7cfda

Finally, he opened the driver’s side door and disappeared. The car departed without delay. Seoyoon clasped his hands together, gripping tightly the fingertips where Kijung’s lips had touched. The heat that had suddenly ignited didn’t cool easily, and standing there under the streetlight, he suddenly felt as if he had been left alone.dc7a9911aa7bd3f9

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Only after the car 50e95a5e9b was completely out of 5c6de81f54 sight did Seoyoon enter 5a89243fdf through the gate. His father, who had a6fe9c90a2 been waiting for Seoyoon 29348c3d94 to return without going e49d64bf7e inside, immediately approached and d11a507759 asked:2de97820fd889993

“What happened? Director Kwon contacted you again?”1e14f61945af88c2

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“Yes. He said he thinks he made a mistake that day… We agreed to try meeting again properly.”13016fe1e213d074

“I knew it.”c9e50d38a3c0af5a

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His adoptive 31d42e3648 father spat 988f7d8f3b out, as 6858f0d773 if trying e9520f9842 to restore e8998c4be0 his wounded f2afe47542 pride. Anger dripped from 5f86268b34 his deep voice.f44ba034d1bd1a61

“How do you think we raised you? Anyone with eyes wouldn’t let you go. That young punk just didn’t know any better and acted arrogantly. Who does he think he is to reject a match arranged by the Chairman himself?”99328a0e353e407c

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He was under a great misunderstanding. The matchmaking supposedly arranged directly by Chairman Kwon Muntaek was likely just the whim of an old man caught in a brief moment of regret. The Kwon family members probably unenthusiastically told Kwon Kijung to meet because his grandfather wanted it, and Kijung’s attitude had been consistently rude and cold, as if proving that prediction.b74400fcdf31b6c0

The only unexpected variable was that Kijung’s unique inclinations matched Seoyoon’s bad habit. But the reason his adoptive father imagined had no bearing on this relationship at all. However, having decided to deceive the world, there was no need to correct his misunderstanding here.59046df56ab3705e

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“We’ve just agreed to meet for now. We haven’t talked about marriage or anything yet…”1c9c5c28ff1af11d

“Of course. You shouldn’t cling to a guy like that who’s so full of himself. Don’t be hasty, take your time to observe him. The fact that he contacted you first shows he must have some feelings for you.”c14b8d39557962b1

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Unlike his confident 8ab6e05ae2 father, his mother 13abbd0630 seemed to think 1602881894 this was no 12b4cb6bb7 time to be fbd2de5f25 relaxed. She gave a pointed 4681a7fbec look.2bc2012b6a78d35f

“But that doesn’t mean you can completely let things slide, does it? Why don’t you give President Kwon a call tomorrow, dear?”234f900e9f15e34f

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“That’s right. Even if we leave the kids’ matters to them, parents still have things to discuss among themselves. Come on, let’s go inside. You must be tired.”c3981cefbb20b837

It was amusing that the day ended with the phrase “you must be tired” when they didn’t even know what had happened before returning home. A bitter smile formed on Seoyoon’s lips as he followed the two. His mother, unaware of the meaning behind his expression, asked curiously as if she couldn’t contain her curiosity.28aef3451b7d17ba

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“What did he say when he contacted you?”c554bafb94df3093

“Just that he thought the decision on the day of the blind date was too hasty… and that he’d like to meet again slowly and build a good relationship.”fd462790ad22618c

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It was a hastily made-up lie, but there wasn’t a hint of doubt in his adoptive parents’ eyes. Everything was thanks to the man who had come directly to their house, confirming their ‘good relationship’.22ed46c21ca148f2

Now wasn’t the appropriate time to explain everything. Seoyoon ignored their curiosity and bid them goodnight first.e469e4fbc8368bae

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“I’m a bit tired today. I’ll tell you the details tomorrow.”a2960de8bd1ee62f

“Alright, let’s talk tomorrow.”db930f216abf3485

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The first 9f0ca931a5 thing he a97e9560a1 did upon 872ae842ae returning to 83048f66ae his room 20aa1747e0 was to 988b0f2d13 change clothes. Standing in 9f396e2b6d front of d1227509fe the mirror, 67038d87f2 he turned 5c534665af around and add276d0da craned his 2b0ac6c8e4 neck to 170d08ec31 examine his f94c48c8c8 buttocks. The area 0f2b440939 that had 1f7d621994 been red 8a2845e7d2 and swollen 67c8e21e5d at first 82e1ebc744 had now 99e5f9ed8b turned into ed0cc8c732 a bruise, 4e09f79792 the color ad146bf493 becoming darker.c138b3fad72166e4

Fearing someone might 958fd05e13 see, he quickly adf7c2505e pulled up his be352709e4 clothes and sat 8f0ba652a2 at his desk. A dull pain f60601a106 rose as his a067c9370f buttocks pressed against e8c4dd6475 the chair, but 099607911f it was bearable.914c4ef4c796c0ab

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Until he left work, it had been a day no different from usual, but just because he had spent the night differently, the day felt incredibly long. Seoyoon didn’t bother to fight off the heavy fatigue that washed over him and prepared for bed.5fa099eac7096bd2

He thought he would fall asleep quickly due to exhaustion, but deep sleep didn’t come as easily as expected. When he turned off the lights and lay in bed, the few hours he had spent swept up in a storm, desperately enduring at the time, came flooding back, disturbing his comfortable rest.6e9daea6a5d2eb4e

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Perhaps because, as the man had said, there weren’t many pains that could surpass the cutting sensation of flesh. The pain he had braced for was more bearable than expected, and the pleasure he tasted for the first time was harder to endure than he thought. It seemed he had cried more when their bodies intertwined than when he was being beaten.6c016e2eae2108de

Rather than the bleak pain of being beaten while counting numbers, the heat that had melted him like a furnace but now completely disappeared, and the sensation of large hands recklessly touching his bare body and delving deep inside kept vividly coming back to life. As if he was longing for it. Even though he had never been accustomed to others’ body heat or touch, this moment of lying alone felt terribly empty and even unfamiliar.286160ddd4bd0655

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What if he had c12fd18e3f changed the order of c1ed4acc7a events? If they c13c90abc3 had had 06deb13080 sex first 01171072d3 and then 495364fd36 he had bdd46e946c been beaten, f2b13b226e perhaps the 527f5eb340 pain of 178cbedb80 the beating c35ae2d3d2 that made 1198036aee him scream b4b5bffd86 involuntarily would 68ebd5ce62 have remained 47faed8f08 more intensely 43e21ce207 than the f1325e5342 gentle touch 79d85e7087 of his 7e0c12817a hands or a7d6e9bd68 the sticky bc38f79ea8 sensation of df4af9ea7f being stirred 0d19508795 up inside. Should it have c97a830cca been that way c93d0de531 instead?4539a2af5eba6f51

‘Han Seoyoon-ssi seems to like being touched.’a42c9cc5d25bf33a

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Kwon Kijung’s voice suddenly echoed in his ears. His face flushed, and he pulled the blanket up over his head even though there was no one to see.baef78ed9912f9d2

It was embarrassing to have every aspect of himself, from the parts he wanted to hide to the facets he wasn’t even aware of, thoroughly understood after just one encounter. He didn’t want to admit that his inner self was so deprived that he could be swayed by a dangerous game that was merely play for the other person and closer to a transaction for himself.0c27b76f009183c9

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Because it b7270eb5e1 was the dc16b85c75 first time. He hoped that 07783f1453 was the only e7806dacb4 reason. Seoyoon reassured 1a511f6dc3 himself that a763ec8462 although it 420b841e2e felt like 88547fd8e7 an enormous 370852bffd deal now, 87131d223e it would bcfbf79bbd gradually become e71a3c4ea4 nothing as 93df90c155 it was d9f6145cc0 repeated and e5713739c7 became familiar, d59f815889 and he ae617d156c tightly closed df4fc84139 his eyes.6d490401ba293bcf

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T/N: I wanted to 09621977b4 leave the honorifics in 4a6b5386b6 the text (-ssi) to 996aaf39bd emphasize their formality. If it bothers bd0269125b anyone, please let d502776391 me know.949a19ef041ba825

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