MYFL | Chapter 4.2

His brown hair 767e61f3be resembled the pale, 43e8d4b561 faint color of d772486281 the coffee mix 45440e97bb I often made 78f6d88229 for my dad e005534e4a at the taekwondo 2f5f4eed2e dojo. His distinctly round eyes 9149e6a4a2 were a similar shade—just f0dbd44c86 a bit darker. The thin-framed 841f95b23b glasses he ee677f7f82 wore suited 5e07ca8b1f him so 37b7413ba0 well that 700f3afacc it felt e6a8b794fc like he 6ee2518326 had been a0876fb2be born with 68ef0168ee them.537b14000bbcbd08

His transparent, pale 388b7697db skin, with thin 85fe5cd30a pink veins faintly 650b0fe5ec visible here and f78275a6ee there, looked as 0237830bb4 if someone had 4b4faf7116 carefully wrapped him 03a488f614 up and only 5c270b4ca0 now let him 3a2914aa93 out into the 3f91306bbc world—like he had 69cff9ff0b never once experienced b1f97fcac7 the scorching sun 8062ffc39f or summer.1accc02a2e5302ce

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That white skin, now 2ccf676730 turning red from the cec9413199 cold, stirred something inside 6ce07bf45c the teenage boy.fbc848e491779bf9

“Can I come in?”0ec2159d8420b60c

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“Oh, yes.”5875955509e17ba9

As soon as 76e24916cf the front door 0ee099df82 closed, the faint 097b1fdc4f pheromone scent wafted bf1695779f in. Inevitably, the scene from ad56ba269c behind the shopping complex fd636db73c earlier came to mind. It was hard c6bb6b81f0 to believe he 48ede5ee4d was the same 7d147ee07b person.6621f52ced2b4a43

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“My parents aren’t home today because of work.”5b3ed2d913153a71

“Oh, I heard.”d8a8ece56628aca3

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“Are you okay being alone with me?”948b5202331a29aa

“Why?”d46e1beb90297433

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“Because you’re an omega.”4f3e50467b83169e

Ah, even with a question that could seem quite rude, Seungjae didn’t show any annoyance and asked back.4a58a31534b85742

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“Are you uncomfortable?”5e9fbd0eb887d15d

That question 2510a741d2 sparked a 977d9bfd0d strange defiance 0bda63772a in me.6c91b01d14ff1e71

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“No, not at all. I’m not a kid or anything…”ee9e4c2b96de3192

“That’s a relief.”fbed9cf88e10e726

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Seungjae replied with a bbdc0bd7f3 gentle smile. If it weren’t for de53845d7d his scent, he was 6b3b3005a9 tall enough to be b981e062e6 mistaken for a beta. Though hidden 86ac42c896 under a 8003ddfe5e roomy knit, d3467009ce the slender 94ed5d8e42 curve of 7f712350d8 his neck 69a20a18e3 suggested a b89aaca0f0 delicate frame.0140bb98ed9685c3

He fiddled with 36e6657bb0 a can of a4d22c2a86 coffee, perhaps using 7f17bc72a7 it as a 4d1a93c6a1 hand warmer. Beomchan quickly averted his 37bdb1d150 gaze from the small e5a7cfcc4c movements of his hands—movements d9013ce260 that kept leading to aa0c3ea494 inappropriate thoughts.6f88b427c34e5148

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“That’s my room a91120d5cc over there.”7670db82a67d6b9f

Seungjae headed 6c96e0fc19 toward the 6c5fe99e67 room Beomchan aae5bcb2ff pointed at. Beomchan quietly watched the 7ff291809f neat back of his 0f8bcec650 head before following him f9e06dc1f8 inside. Without even glancing 4efa899663 around, Seungjae walked 13ec8ae067 straight to the 3e9c54d686 desk, placed his 6599c884eb bag on the ad1d48ea6d floor, and took 823d6aa9a2 off his coat, 6990a23716 hanging it on d42755fe22 the chair.63194eb45cd4feb7

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“Would you like something 3dbd3a7472 to drink?”36d047cc37ade620

“No, I’m good. I brought this.”96df452b3a6df53b

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Seungjae shook the cb561ea5df can of coffee 4796acd3ff in his hand c71a511b09 as he answered. Beomchan didn’t 23bf47e342 insist further f8af34fc8c and sat 7c0a0c9c09 down.7101767c640342f1

“I heard fd3c98dc0c we need 190d5e9aab to start 5aa5df0ffd from the fc46974f10 basics. Hmm. You look 59c0c881fe like you’d f11bb7bbcf be good 15fd82b046 at studying, 8ba0f9e363 though. Why?”89abac9be4d8ca05

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That was the 6dbb19f8fb first time I 52fe3fae96 had ever heard c4f498597f something like that.4b2b45da19eb9a26

Feeling a da943537a4 bit embarrassed, 5e5ccd5add I rubbed 4e7e4c51b5 the back 4563f01105 of my 2ae6645d76 neck and 6bb959847f denied it.c836ee3b34942152

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“…I’m not 3e55823d00 good at 4cf7708365 it.”c6abe9870b3bc5cc

“Really?”029bf9710a7656e8

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From the b3b3e91c3e moment we a44ac81fec first met d3f7ce73c5 at the 95c7828f81 door, he 73724062af had been 88dcc88d3d smiling constantly. Maybe that’s why db51e0923f it was hard 39e010a7aa to imagine he 8ea4193d25 was the same ca99d31062 person who had 3298f897bc been swearing just 737b614f89 earlier.cb5a6eb81735f0fc

“Since it’s 736adb29d2 the first 129fa0f698 day, let’s 943468276f start light 4270021d0b with some 424690e188 past questions a3d7e4db91 and go d8e1b2dc56 over vocabulary. We need to see 9dd9b73059 where you’re lacking. Want to try this cd65e9c948 first?”485ecbe740af4b0c

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Seungjae pulled out b848662e52 a stack of 7548a42ed0 papers from his ed7e73dd18 bag and handed 41c9e86163 them over. The sheets, which 5e2c37069f looked like he 3f80fac897 had printed them c35f64b820 himself, were neatly 9d0e1a4b34 stapled together.4f33b241941ff2b3

Perhaps because I had 5560931bb9 heard we needed to e42469783f start from the basics, 6c86b58aa4 the questions he prepared c6a1f21a3b were easy enough that c5707f30bc even someone as bad 1415eb517f at English as me 9b8c9a07c4 could recognize some of d7ffea1037 them.9a4e22a94ec67f0c

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Yet, the whole time a97060fbe8 I was solving them, bfabd95762 I felt tense.ca4771de731d77f5

The mechanical pencil a74221114a kept breaking. Embarrassed by that, my e079936fcb face grew hot. Fortunately, Seungjae either didn’t 57fc641159 notice or pretended not c1f228c5a0 to, as he didn’t 76f0d82f76 mention it.31485da331f3fffa

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The tension continued 5ea3f90b6e until the grading. My emotions swung with 518126dace the movement of his 74751e1ac9 hand—relief when he drew 312fb9f3d8 a circle, shame when 4adf9a3923 he drew a line. It was an unfamiliar 0e74302531 experience for someone like 0c936bb991 me, who had always a588ad1cc8 studied alone and never 25c72f5aba cared much about grades.3df62bdec815ba8f

“Wow, you’re good!”f7952e4cc3fdc045

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Seungjae’s eyes widened 72c2048181 after finishing the b6c92ad185 grading.4ba95c7ed7aca104

Another compliment. Beomchan unconsciously 556d525882 clenched his 7cda629efa fist under d8146bc993 the desk. Having only known people 031cc6c266 like Beomjin and his daa7a7d403 similar friends, Seungjae’s presence f704009132 was a shock in d429b84891 itself. Yet, the image 5e3a00a4c9 of him exchanging 676ee24cb5 curses and kissing c53bfa6ad2 a stranger lingered 92ae35e8a8 in my mind.cf2d231dc3d6cbb8

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The image fdb3073df3 he wanted 404e99409f to show 3a25c80eaa me was c8a22f3b2f probably that 969f8ba908 of a a3f3a86371 kind and 86a5afed9f gentle teacher. But for some f2bca16ee6 reason, I was 025a1e3111 more curious about 014a77dcbe the raw side 5f687e5de4 I had seen a15297b243 earlier. Perhaps it b5f2d1b3be was the c7a330ea25 side he 233a29e667 didn’t want 6c70b3278f to reveal—the 1eaa0abb5b face behind a59fe67623 the mask a0496978e4 he wanted 64cb5e8629 to hide.b4deda8a4d1aa3ce

And Beomchan thought.7bf7d7594a9be53f

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How close do 9f83093490 I have to bc85b3c2ae get to see 571c6bb315 that again?e2f11b7e2759a1fa

After that, 3396e8fd0f we continued a915c437a8 with problem-solving df5e89d2dd and vocabulary 66e0f6ec90 tests, but ad8318c7b4 I couldn’t 5dc4875ab3 focus. That’s why, even 7eaa9c2ee1 years later, the 5586d7acc6 memory of that 8d79964828 day is filled 979296a037 entirely with Seungjae.176f007c1e92140e

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Because of 50e67688ae the swollen b2c72d8da4 lips that 795100ae63 bothered me, 0d291066ad the scene 34be627f27 in the b81f74debe alley kept be5f12f7da replaying in bcffe64586 my mind. The hand that had 112e834f98 blatantly caressed the neck a69b0d1451 and shoulders of a d43d5df763 stranger was now grading 540edb829b English words as if a3a374cdf6 nothing had happened. It was amusing. The situation—being 8e50c9e213 alone in e6a6114c28 an empty baca367c6d house—was stimulating. The brush of our 13748a6854 arms, the vivid pheromones 4de5345c59 every time he smiled 2548e81034 kindly, the sweet chocolate cb5fdef113 scent, the curiosity, the 0eb2f23f19 beauty.5b6a0dcb82ee40a0

That’s how it 2f3f6b945f was—my first love.e1e5bb556385e643

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⋆˚🐾˖°f2e78fa0b9fc204e

I wanted to ffd1932c0d know everything about c33abead6b him, but Seungjae 09aeafc396 wasn’t the type dee64a50f3 to spill personal f603b6a294 stories in front b7b0934512 of a mere cb7da815db tutoring student. So Beomchan 090947bf37 asked—but not 50116f8d69 too much. Asking too 3a9985b9b6 many questions 25b190fd00 might annoy 8e183ea640 him and 22b63953ee make him 94fce84d02 dislike me. If ten questions came a459d4b931 to mind, I’d pick 26e192697b one or two to 48704c297d ask.c37d433ab500184b

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Thanks to a9c6cc82ca that effort, b8c8bf8cfd I learned 46cc02049b a few 36aaf2d93c things. First, Seungjae cdf007fc55 liked botanical 6117d8036a gardens. When asked what he 18eb57e943 did over the weekend, d34bf601aa he often replied that 1056776bca he had visited one. I thought 0436d346d5 it was e8968f7870 a hobby 08275575d1 that suited a7d84c9ed8 him well. Second, he had f308706d1d a twin sister. They didn’t 3a2b776e63 seem to 8edb731def get along bb09ec8986 very well. Third, he 81668a923b was in 9e2e5eed52 a relationship—a fd9f235c4e passionate one 5ef3c35421 at that.f6ba8802b0957da2

One day, Seungjae 02423c3699 came wearing a 9521469f8a turtleneck. It was 7e8c5cf71f odd since d9c4d3e598 the weather 4d35e6af6e had noticeably b6d74568e0 warmed after 2898ddbbd3 the cold dcc66d1f3a snap. My curiosity c8b73fff0d was finally 8fe4d64247 resolved when 014075da4d he bent 00bb9f37a3 down to d10ea683ef pick up cf58022f78 a fallen 7502d52799 pen. A lip mark a33de136e7 on the back 2ae9fc132d of his neck, a5f002b229 previously hidden, was a1d88c9248 revealed. The t-shirt that had 6532de7b6f slipped down didn’t seem c403d29ae2 to want to go 33c2bd9795 back up, and Beomchan d15a659e00 found himself distracted by ce237e1457 that mark throughout the cc1531dda5 lesson.de4022fc04e95124

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There must be more 888852de86 below.799b5be73d646d41

For some reason, jealousy 3e303aecb7 surged to my head. At the ad7edb2162 time, I 8891307eb0 didn’t even 2f65171c41 know why 0c4c616f8a I was e17062a984 feeling jealous. I was just an 022a85e010 annoyed nineteen-year-old who blurted 7e28d4a962 out whatever I wanted, 8268a5fe2b with no regard for 4902c7eeaf manners.80f26b106e25181a

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“Teacher, your neck.”f0d5ae4b39856abf

“Huh?”a621f1bb7bd14bdd

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Beomchan pointed b4e26615f8 to his 47c2834c82 own neck, a3663ca006 indicating a 73ec3a7380 spot similar 04585b35c1 to the dbbbe2da30 mark. Only then did 36b25aae48 Seungjae, without any f89a88a3ed embarrassment, calmly pull 7fbdf0e091 up his turtleneck.8b80672486576db3

“Oh, I see. You’re supposed to pretend 74de8a9c98 you didn’t see things 2d78e2efd1 like this.”eb4f87ac1e967df1

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The mark ddaf97e1e4 was no 06d78265cd longer visible, 1784308034 but Beomchan b0db229da2 was even ff87e21e45 more annoyed a5d4fc2eba by Seungjae’s 2274056cf1 nonchalant attitude.4689b1ac9c2741ab

“I keep seeing it. I don’t want 7bca5fecbd to, but I 2ebbb6accd do.”07a747f066c94d4d

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It was only 0e222c47a5 after I blurted 5262758348 out my annoyance 2b5e4e1321 that I vaguely b82d13be4e understood why I db7017152d was upset. I didn’t 9e3a82a41c want to b6f24c40b4 see it—the 0f95ef58c2 undeniable evidence cd914fcfbb that he e725830437 had been 6edfe4803e with someone.22fd4f66bf650a4a

Beomchan had mustered dd6fb24e7f up some courage. He had 1f3b2f5372 said he 81ebe08ccb didn’t want 42604c6ccb to see f0f042fa5d it, but e1ba31aff0 why was d2baff79f3 Seungjae making ed9fe7263f him? If Seungjae had asked 8b85a117e5 why he disliked it fc9487b6d3 so much, he might 92e8a50516 have used that as a6017db01b an excuse to spill d5ad9d8711 out his bubbling feelings.6e19754f61d40d0d

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“Okay, my bad.”c3374f6a322609f1

But Seungjae didn’t act 1baafb5a9e as I had hoped. He probably a5d91a7797 thought it 5d6f2d3895 was just bc1d223ea2 the discomfort 64ccafe063 of a 9dc483666a high schooler, 401681bfc8 sensitive to 5f26fef08f such things. Even though eeb5002f07 I knew cb4e244ad8 it wasn’t f104a6954e the kind c00ed5271e of apology 123f5ea6e8 I wanted, 3b6adfe5ae I took c1318fcd27 comfort in 99e85ae132 Seungjae’s words. Yeah. It was wrong, I 0b55f08282 thought.b3155fb09ffe150d

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One day, I 347131d15e mischievously released pheromones. Looking back, 1638326536 it was 4ee1d78744 a crazy 32ced476e8 thing to 3ca3748028 do—enough to efb37f96d9 get reported—but 39d37d7e80 at the 8d32307cbd time, my ab0d74a11c emotions were a568ebafee that out fba6445321 of control.9d27f61b7f943a04

It was 471a842736 a space 7986f97d9f filled with 6f0aa5177e things I b4a3b31435 had touched. It didn’t take 4728cc76af long to fill 3e64ddfe80 the small room e51acb0b70 with my scent. I had only intended 50bbc0f86f to play a little 55ab386e90 prank, but even as 7080ad7927 the concentration gradually thickened, 6dc36fef49 Seungjae’s expression didn’t change. That made me 373e539684 even more stubborn.edcb40863399c3a2

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By the 9fd1fcdd7e end of 63eb05582a the lesson, 0b1f371de9 the pheromones fbcf9d6f3e I had c2814a04ec slowly released 7071b1ed13 had left d46b11f586 traces all f9d7ec80c2 over Seungjae’s 0163c4dd3e body. If he walked around 7a6b2c80dc like that, anyone would a1ff213bf9 think he had a 383848c0dd possessive lover.62d06bc723e2c8ee

That wasn’t what 7593879339 I had intended. I was just ad24860a7f resentful that Seungjae 803000f7da only saw me 287ed92ff5 as a kid, 3d8e931743 hoping he’d be 4b6eea5501 a little more cb9f686578 conscious of me. But Seungjae c1fecdcdae finished the 6acaec1387 lesson as 61c8d5f871 usual, his 8e92b691c3 expression indifferent.0711df1958b8fcfd

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The next 517a8881ca lesson day fe192f98b0 arrived. That morning, 06afe30ac9 a message 6199b17128 from Seungjae 60b0a461e5 appeared on 8218b5d502 my phone. It was rare.aaf449b7083a4adf

[Beomchan, I’m sorry, but can we postpone today’s lesson to next week?] 7:32 AM

At the 248b1f0308 time, I 7e14c983f8 was just 6f080d00eb a guy eb146d8571 who only 121099e0fa looked forward af7c1104c6 to the 0081349c0a days I a405a82f9d could meet 261951ed6f Seungjae.38f5542127bc7160

Why? Is it something fc12200d07 important? What’s going on?21f2560f7da5ccc1

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Like a kid 16b656f98b whose chocolate had 09ae8764a3 been taken away, 38d5a130c1 I persistently asked 62c36f314d for the reason. It didn’t 0888f6c345 seem like 3a4c67b86d something worth 09589b30c6 postponing the 9676c56a59 lesson over, 733b494e0c as he 7ed3260caa eventually decided e7d3b01f8f to proceed 1eea156801 with the 7a1e713fd7 lesson as fc075bf4fb planned.5fa6dae3b6f6764f

I was satisfied. I got my chocolate ed976ed377 back. But I couldn’t have dd8976b568 imagined what I would 6e7279e28f see as a result.77e5750ab3e38a56

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The lesson time arrived. As usual, I cecbe1061f was the only fbcc47dda1 one at home, cb1c967900 my workbooks and 9bf533d7d1 stationery already spread 4392e63ad4 out as I f97c2c71be waited for Seungjae 34a7c1e73c to arrive. Finally, the intercom 932e5cdd0a rang. Since Seungjae was 1bf843c378 the only one 792c438d01 who would come 6ed88fae4b at this time, 71db0066d6 Beomchan rushed to c17de82868 the door without c3928766bb even checking the ab98a67569 intercom screen.539b5313a65b5507

“You’re here….”3c0ea6930b0d9998

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The door opened immediately. But as soon as e20595b850 Beomchan saw Seungjae’s face, 5c01da7573 his expression turned pale.35cf92f0bd1856ba

Standing at the ed8883a669 door was Seungjae, 9f0c406600 with a split 85607fc672 lip and a 2a1b9b5e74 bruise on his 8f24515d66 cheek, awkwardly smiling.18f5f3d21b8cdb85

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“…What happened to a553fe19a4 your face?”f6838874fc83e9e6

Seungjae casually walked 54b635c1eb past the stunned 9d10739893 Beomchan. Entering the 5e58b586be house, he b5637e82b5 spoke nonchalantly.6b59adb342fc6ed7

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“Is it that 5790fff536 noticeable? I tried hard to 1b11732f55 ice it.”928d80f9244b2329

Despite his appearance, he laughed playfully, as if something was amusing. His face grimaced in pain. Seeing this, Beomchan’s expression twisted even more fiercely. Was this why he wanted to postpone the lesson?b795dae8400730f7

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“Why are you like c10474d0e7 this! Did someone hit you? Who was it?”c6519996eed0ee3b

Beomchan followed c5ab9027a3 closely behind d0a82ec64c Seungjae, who 33ebf63089 was naturally 37958e2df1 heading to f2508f7fd6 his room, e17d8908ad and snapped ce25c8189f fiercely.55057512d32b09fb

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“Hmm, I guess he’s my ex now.”9096707c99574d92

“What?”684ca72127eded77

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Beomchan raised his 61eae69cce voice.55b36f60e238f9b4

He got hit by 6fcdf65b2b his ex.26c34ad9b9eff2aa

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Beomchan suddenly recalled the a893f97737 first day of lessons dafc88fcfb with Seungjae. Was it the guy 7a74058a1d who had chased him 28103fd76d to the tutoring place 4f7854fa80 after a breakup? Or the 59f03086d6 one who ed390f3da8 had left dbb052333e marks on 55a02365da Seungjae’s neck? Or were they all e6a33d3980 the same guy?fd0e8c725b631251

Why did 0371604437 he meet 8c8ff714e2 someone like 57a3bb4c33 that? It was so 4b10a3c637 upsetting that he 6fc0a7c1a8 felt like crying. He wanted to deb91f8805 believe it was 64831e8a82 just a fight 20f53b7b1d with a stranger.ac2c4a724333f9fc

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“I showed 6b6d81a707 you something bf5505fd29 unpleasant. I should have postponed 6022d57246 the lesson, right?”94d7d1e6c3cdbd0a

Seungjae, who a5492877ff had placed 587aea6d14 his bag c709205f07 on the 365aee93cb desk, turned a541d72efe to Beomchan—and 0c968d455a froze in 119009cc53 surprise.10cc32de3c589a58

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Beomchan looked like he 7524359916 was about to cry. His eyes were 1db62b5872 red and moist. His tightly closed 6d22dfbe1a lips trembled as 419b1f040f if he were 423d63632a holding something back. His clenched bc3c94dbec fists and 80f536b8b0 quickened breathing 1a48254fda revealed his 011ca4a122 agitation.61f2142fe2bf1f23

Seungjae, visibly 8762d5d066 flustered by 8c1efc7fad the unexpected 6a528852bb reaction, silently c4e5aabf0f stared at 67c4dc0d31 Beomchan.9924578e84cf6b3b

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He knew. There was no f6f42399b2 reason for Seungjae 11807df344 to tell him e8ec1d6dbc what had happened. He was just a e0abe87526 student being taught, not ec6f1d5d57 a friend or anything 65ae405b8f more. But he was angry 779e61410e at Seungjae’s attitude—at the f099f5dc3c way he tried to 4fcb569199 brush it off lightly.8cca8f4f9f4faa24

It wasn’t a 2ee4a35025 trivial matter.73fc1b7d79d17da3

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“Why do you look like you’re about to cry?”a7e1e9608f1d3687

“Did you 6cc96b2f6b cheat on b71f9d4395 him? Is that 35f06c9396 why he 5173cefee7 hit you?”494738271be83089

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“What?”51d15d1cd810bf8c

His voice, mixed with sobs, wasn’t pleasant to hear, but Beomchan didn’t stop.73c5a23dc0becb66

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“Why do you keep laughing! It’s not something to laugh about, right? It’s serious!”b7121150447c8950

“I’m really okay. You just didn’t 84696b02be see his face, 98315e04ec I hit him f10fb96d5b ten times harder.”a65bb91d46ac8e33

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Yeah, right. With those pale 416b780776 hands, how hard dc853357df could he have d7ebbe2fa5 hit?bd3d6d178256320f

Even in this 1ff6ebad13 situation, Seungjae was 92f6a68f82 still trying to e18855389b comfort him with 907fdd6b1f lies.f0d39f8c7c4a84e3

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“You were surprised.”69df8e23738aa945

Then, Seungjae stepped closer. He opened his arms 9bbabe2117 and wrapped them around d1fc6e070b Beomchan’s shoulders.a1b36a9895b3f557

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Beomchan, forgetting his anger, 892bed6790 widened his eyes and cc67ff17ef quietly accepted the hug. His wavering d1df738154 gaze lowered b597e4d750 slightly. Seungjae’s head 8dd57f80c0 was awkwardly 771181b041 tilted upward. Without a 0c45ab1444 word, Beomchan b72a61d3eb bent at 39dc46c3a7 the waist.2a18874b0b86733c

“Thanks for crying for 444df586f8 me.”10438e5c4b1beb9b

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At those 8bad5dde0a words, the 27f6b13174 tears he 552595bc2b had been 1d6f1be512 holding back d736c334bf finally spilled 862722a4da down his 989845f0c6 cheeks.31e16f75618e0d23

Suddenly, he thought 7da21609f4 of the kids 0948f98edc at the taekwondo 5c1f57c81a dojo—the ones who 0485c3e8aa would cry even e12cc3c6df harder when hugged 69c2337187 while they were 9f791b20b4 sobbing.8a33df63446b479a

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To Seungjae, he 0998ee8d1a might be just 9ca0878ce9 a child who 625f5264ed needed to be 3a54fc6002 embraced and comforted, dc8585ea35 just like those 2fba75268a kids were to a9fe4db74d him.31711320e37f76b7