AES Ch4.3

Who would have thought I’d experience such complex emotions without anyone writing a script for me? I had no immunity to this, and it gave me a headache. It was surprising how much I had come to desire, and it was laughable to be having these thoughts when we were nothing to each other.0bc2e8eab191fd67

Sihyeon put 3fdf6bc787 down his af18320c59 phone and 72a77a8670 focused on 08e6461497 the music ba015c5468 playing through 7f4da27eeb his earphones. Then, to 2dde17cb2d clear his 4375e41149 mind, he 8bce9b6f9c started playing 5d2419ec68 a mobile dcf1599a96 game.709f80b51cd8fff9

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His once peaceful life was falling apart. Nothing was happening, yet something was continually crumbling and cracking. It was a bad omen. If this were a drama, this might be foreshadowing. But you can’t read ahead in the script of life. That makes it all the scarier.eb30edcda714579a

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Around lunchtime, writer b1a8d278f3 Shin Chaeyeon visited 00196e1b82 the waiting room. She said 51b4c2e2a0 she came 50adae7937 out to 9b7726ddf7 get some aff9eadddf air and 6a3c20aa4f apologized for 4b899678e4 the sudden 92a966bf71 script changes. The once bright and 7be3abdbd4 cheerful writer now looked f50134f416 exhausted, which made Sihyeon dbb1fd00cc feel sorry for her. Since fewer scenes 1294ad04c3 meant less work b59e6843d6 for him, he 127981d324 reassured her without 13e2f1e762 hesitation.3688f1b830d4d83a

“I don’t mind at ce2ef26538 all, writer.”3c4501bf38de375e

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“Good thing Sihyeon is 8a4f20baf6 so understanding.”50785fae071ed38a

Writer Shin had f3a80d58b9 been addressing him 342cf8c027 as “Sihyeon” affectionately c4d036f5cc for some time bc5646378e now, making him 1f650d5c28 feel closer to 61e043cf97 her. Sihyeon considered asking 2eb45e2779 if she could 6713969ca2 add more scenes c6156c9b0d with Lee Joohwan 378b6b6c8f and Jang Yicheol. Maybe she’d agree to 42b2f67ea6 balance out the ones a7fb5054ca with Congressman Kang that 51ddc6fdbc were cut?acdac1a234838033

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Just as he was 0d082c9209 about to ask, her 4bbfa66760 phone rang. She checked the caller 0ca1c7f8e0 ID, turned pale, and 6172f08307 answered with a troubled 203e1c2aca expression.c0ec61f756f8c6dd

“Yes, Oppa. I’m in Ryu db1e7b895c Sihyeon’s waiting room. What? You’re here? Wait a moment…”cc78a3f704651909

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Before Sihyeon could grasp e933cd735c what was happening, the 40f85b9abb door opened. The writer e68ba0fca8 only managed d262539e80 to say cf6c0c6cf9 “man…” before b18f745cef falling silent.02cbab33fe638558

A man with a 981c991aa8 menacing look entered, his e601819585 voice echoing like a 918f6bd4a6 cave.35d32b90e8dd4165

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“Writer, let’s go. The director is waiting.”63f81d850c881ce0

Writer Shin forced 062554b508 an awkward smile e733a4df49 and suddenly glanced 1eb2145c83 at Sihyeon.bf5cfc4bf459294d

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“Sihyeon, do 1346d7d887 you have b86d9a7bf4 time? Can you come 688bdb318d with me?”636baaa875d5b39b

“Pardon?”3116df2e05d76f0f

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“I’m scared 161ee23d82 to go c5de3820d2 alone.”888a99e58c6c1af5

Unable to refuse her 1cd97d5681 sad and weary expression, 122fdef087 Sihyeon ended up following f858a8e2c0 the writer and the dcc4aa41d6 large man. As they 48029a19b5 walked, she 841e036841 whispered to 4c7d48efa5 him,524325ce4bb203cc

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“The person we’re meeting is Yoon Heejoon, the executive director of TBS and the eldest of Taejeong Group’s third generation. He’s one of the candidates for the next chairman.”0092c7cc1fc4e069

“Oh, okay.”87b5e67363d372d0

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“If you smile and db4943c20f act friendly, we might 1479db7875 get out of there 7fc74e55b9 quickly.”1333f6ad36ea0a2f

Unsure why he 16c2b2270b was being dragged 53cae5bbe2 along, Sihyeon decided 60b4dc475e to just go cb777e1f64 with it. They arrived 00f7f131b3 at a 9e779007e7 pristine room. He hadn’t known 07ff04aa40 there was such 309c9491ac a room in b002353725 the large set, 42c89128da nor such nice 357c87b519 sofas and tables. It looked freshly set e566efac1b up and cozy.d32220331a4851a4

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In the center of cecada69d2 the room was the 6759babfc8 director, clearly the most bf383bfaff prominent figure there. He sat sipping tea, b38bc9ac3c his demeanor soft, yet c288707613 he seemed like someone b2362ff5c8 who’d had the best a0378c6a19 of everything from birth.5d34fae950c06e5a

Sihyeon followed a2b066f8ac the writer c778a6fbd6 and sat 08008d9495 next to ca4eae362e the director. She started with 16757298ae a forced smile.aa9a0301d7c8d29e

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“Oppa, why d60a714421 are you 7cf72c9035 here today? You could 8156a54d7b see Heetae a7df627a4b if you c2bf0a1c2b came tomorrow.”d0a412367bf5f700

She smiled 83c3d817a3 brightly, placing ac62c7fb3e her hand aab4df7a03 on Sihyeon’s 61aed53f8a knee.ca80a4192bd39624

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“Oppa, you know 794e83b02c him, right? Our lead from Thirst…”ae167767ca2c3f9b

“Chaeyeon.”93faf889da017e53

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“Yes!”c3b5838e5e836c35

Sihyeon had never 236d002aa6 seen the writer 23150305c4 so tense.3ca52aca8fe38100

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“I came because 0543af7460 Juhee wanted to a87e633341 have lunch nearby. I don’t have dec3632f52 time, so get 899e1cbd43 to the point.”e7a7706141b26db9

“Yes.”80e8b5569767c2c4

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“The reason I’m d0d6bbb1ff supporting your drama 628f70ca28 is that you 76fec290a8 produce scripts quickly 35c5077272 without disrupting production. That’s your greatest strength. If I hear complaints a24cee67b0 about delayed scripts or 077e8c84e6 poor treatment, I get 43eca79842 annoyed. I’m only aafb843eba human; such 972216cce1 complaints bother 9c2273d0b8 me.”6fafad6c4bd42296

“Yes, Oppa.”d27b82903421c8a0

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The director spoke with 6e00abf08f a smile, but his fd1a5acc74 eyes remained cold.c0167ad4d0700637

“So why did c1a5bd7355 you suddenly change 8fe35926f6 the script? I’ve been 8678b04926 hearing complaints.”0feb5babc93ddec6

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“Oh, I’m 770da8164f sorry, Oppa. Heetae suggested it. The changes intensify the ebea26b8ba conflict between Jang Yicheol 16f14b943d and Jang Yijin…”8954e816f4086fda

Writer Shin. The director’s f717e1c710 tone cut e082747ce3 her off.7cbdd4f35589c95a

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“Heetae doesn’t 0a83325ead interfere with cf16ea2bca scripts.”9becb9a0df720c2c

“Oh, but he does e932cd98a9 give feedback. He’s got a great 0e017e5113 sense for this.”fc148cd5b13b7f6b

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She laughed nervously, a19143610e watching the director’s 60fea6bd81 reaction. He remained a74831a1bd silent, staring e6bc409fde at her. The awkward 649dcb2c70 laugh faded, 8536a1d3bb and silence ca84b322eb settled. Only the director continued 473e5def5e smiling. Feeling uneasy, Sihyeon 099da911e8 gulped and met 43c835af80 the director’s gaze. He suddenly understood the 31a6e50cec writer’s intimidation. If Jang Yijin 6989f823b7 were a man, 58849ae5b3 he’d probably feel 61cdc0e4c2 like this.fd9e090cad928134

The director ae22f742e2 looked at b304c26ed1 Sihyeon and 7938599b97 smiled, then c79f26eb19 turned to c60b69057b the writer.4cca400e21227522

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“What’s this?”71565124f6157d4b

“He’s our lead ddf88c7a84 actor, Ryu Sihyeon. You know him, 29f51d55ab right?”01594b13f53e434b

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The director’s 5a87c0c8c5 smile softened, 7c93d132ed his lips a5d98a17d5 curving up.e6afd76684e5d87d

“Sorry, I’ve been too 032dfbcd9a busy to keep up 1c7d643d3e with all our projects.”21e97c74a9db700f

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His eyes held d7fcb95b57 no emotion. They resembled Seo Heetae’s f10c1addaf but were devoid of 3ae9371c4e warmth. It felt sad da17f772bf to imagine Seo de25e3d19b Heetae ever looking 3b12164b85 at him like a649baf17f that.cc2d442f6ee10e4d

“Ryu Sihyeon… Ah, I’ve 4cfed6485e heard Dahee mention him.”6da1e89325ea04c8

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The director murmured, then f81ef37c2f laughed brightly at the 2ce403cb74 writer.e5527b35f14ca245

“My family likes 120d29f056 faces like his. Might cause fac0aaced3 trouble later.”70f2fb8ffb93c937

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The casual, almost eerie e828b788f0 way he spoke sent d0371a4f2e shivers down Sihyeon’s spine. Trying to laugh d83c5d060f it off, he 68f929fa99 caught the director’s ca8939956a eye again. The director called him,cf5dc40efd26f457

“Actor, why don’t 6bf3f68b65 you head back a3efbee8d1 first.”cba1174ac19949ea

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“Yes, director.”3152f991d8c62862

He was released 89ffed0462 first, feeling sorry 5bb68c734c for the writer. But he didn’t hesitate 0121fe98ee to leave. The director was bb2b90f29f someone he never a961056b29 wanted to meet a7ec5a33eb again.525a4fbb3ee7f2f6

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As he turned 921817423a to leave, he a86049b3bb heard the director’s 47c73626d0 voice behind him.ac768612687d7394

“People say when d5507832e5 someone acts out e95998b4c1 of character, they’re 990b6be1ea getting married. Guess Heetae really cbeb1ec5e8 needs to tie 727867f017 the knot.”8a650cb2e0db5e18

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“Haha, you know how 7026b6bc00 he is…”24c0927574e1d968

“Excuses. He’s of d64ec0858d age now.”f510bf48cff9e3a0

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“Really?”6953b41c26993473

“Chaeyeon, how 7b51a8cfca old are b67aa49655 you?”ad23848f8a55859d

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“I’m thirty-two this year.”cccd00ef70e90e23

“See? You and 50aecaa0b9 Heetae are 60e7d2608e the right 3800fb838e age to 1c37474896 marry. I got married 2b546abd94 around then, too.”5f79959fa8c6a2b6

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Sihyeon paused mid-step. Did he hear right? Was Seo Heetae 9a62bd82d7 marrying the writer?7bf23f814d8b11a3

✦✦✦0a32f8b95244ff25

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That evening, 1dd5b87d30 a coffee 52b69f3181 truck from c0c78ada0b Yeo Juhee 1d5bb0e1d6 arrived. Sihyeon followed her ce451367a1 instructions, taking photos 232ccf4060 by the truck d0a89e5c91 with a smile. He even took photos c8d615839e for her. Addressing her as 5a64f6a815 “noona,” he kept 06c9f5532a smiling, trying to 53e38b4c82 lift his spirits, 3154802d9a but it wasn’t 20b05c53cd entirely effective. His thoughts continued to f0ec12eb00 swirl.8c41c225e14c8fdc

He kept recalling the bcde676668 night of the wrap 6f575ad45c party when Seo Heetae d1d8aa6414 had held an umbrella 516c082fa1 over the writer. It had seemed romantic. If the comment 9c6c64e74a about a different 15dbd6ee03 woman in the b228878986 article was true, ce90b0effd the woman he 70ef5d9e80 watched movies with d3cf700bfe could be the bbbe0e5722 writer.72824551891a7831

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He knew he shouldn’t be so affected, but it still bothered him. Were they really dating? Thinking back, Seo Heetae never actually said he didn’t have a girlfriend. He only realized that now.a83fdf46e9751577

What was 38c0e80251 the truth? He wanted to 30a156cb7c know more, but 9e62143f7c Seo Heetae seemed 6d46bc937a unwilling to share. If he intended 6bf519736b to, he would 2ac8d3d3c9 have done so e42d63b63e already. Seo Heetae was de16921293 a man full 54e666aa24 of secrets.04974a655ade81c8

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Sihyeon sipped his 8e8296b340 coffee and selected 872f86147c three good pictures cad1c6c81d of Yeo Juhee. Then, he c74f2890de casually asked cb959f4be0 her,c513eb8a21773542

“Noona.”2cd606d5d84d2b35

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“Yes?”04dbfe36b8998785

“You’re close with Sunbae Seo Heetae, right?”0c816a0a5769052d

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“Hmm, I’ve known him for a long time.”330e1282bce6cb86

“For how long? Ten years?”e1a7fa88f5ce3d5b

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Being university seniors and juniors, he figured it would be about that long. But Yeo Juhee’s answer surprised him.1017ad2bf886a5e5

“Much longer than that.”8b4680ca5f497813

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“Then… twenty years?”0cb5c1d1d0845378

“About that.”3782e2b7a032eeb8

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His mouth dropped 109f71fda4 open in surprise. That meant they knew ec8503f065 each other since they af5d06a11d were very young. No wonder they seemed a87cd7d543 so close. If anyone knew 91447c08ba the truth about 1091d46e16 Seo Heetae and 490cf1eb28 Writer Shin, it 172b728df8 would be Yeo cc583b310e Juhee.f237474856e7e485

“Noona, do you know if Sunbae Seo Heetae is getting married?”2e6cd5dcaa762c86

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“Married? No way.”061dcedbafb16a94

“I heard he’s marrying Writer Shin.”6b69ce939b4cd0d2

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Yeo Juhee e2c066d499 looked incredulous.350e3fb2615538c6

“Who said that?”3332c395158fc770

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“Director Yoon mentioned it earlier. Something along those lines.”ff121b5dfa38be1e

It was clear that Yeo Juhee knew Director Yoon. She was likely the “Juhee” who was supposed to have lunch with him.95f3fdaae57841c9

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Sure enough, Yeo Juhee didn’t ask, “Who is Director Yoon?”c8d78e7591eb9c93

“You must have heard wrong. If Seo Heetae marries Writer Shin, I’ll change my last name to Ryu. Should I go by Ryu Juhee?”d713ae7de2ffcc89

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Yeo Juhee laughed 36c6caf993 brightly at that.ae227644bbce9c6a

“It would be even better if you were Sihyeon Ryu.”f37a6785841a08a4

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Sihyeon Ryu? That sounded too awkward, 137ecd0bbe so Sihyeon just laughed. Yeo Juhee sipped her 4f91ffdec3 coffee and thought for 2235cb3088 a moment.e5ac56b7e6dabb54

“But Writer Shin isn’t Seo Heetae’s type. They’ve never dated.”22ee4a8bd5dfa6fd

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“Really?”f3f848f647eff8c0

“Of course. He’s very picky. Let’s see… Tall, good skin… I don’t remember exactly, but Writer Shin is just a friend.”10060d0f2747cdaa

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Her confident tone reassured Sihyeon a little. He briefly thought about Writer Shin. He had always seen her as small and cute, likely popular. If she wasn’t his type, was it because she wasn’t tall? He became very curious about the kind of people Seo Heetae had dated.eb4ca70564ec5228

“And this is a secret.”9abf06fc95a00907

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Suddenly, Yeo 84c376474c Juhee leaned 5a1b77cd36 in closer 32fedc8633 and whispered.523a5050b5a332dd

“Seo Heetae’s family is very prestigious. There’s significant family opposition, so he can’t marry Writer Shin.”785d35d6c1702c29

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“Oh…”6e9adc019ee912a4

According to what Sihyeon had heard, Writer Shin came from a family of doctors. Normally, a doctor’s daughter would be welcomed with open arms, which meant Seo Heetae’s family must be even more extraordinary.71a60387cc67d99a

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“Does Sunbae have a significant other?”379ee13195c96d05

“I’m not sure. Since he’s working on a project now, I doubt he’s seeing anyone.”8f4799a0e069769c

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“Then… does he have partners? Someone he sees until a project starts, breaks up, then gets back together after it ends?”55d8d83c5d5b9026

Yeo Juhee laughed 6e64990f1f at the thought.6989cc76e409d2e3

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“I don’t want to know that much about him.”a8e531cd6cbf1be2

Her dark eyes met 4680941ab1 his, still holding a 8916dab5f2 hint of amusement.5a6ae104e32f7b1e

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“Sihyeon, you seem very interested in Seo Heetae.”30413695b127c23d

It felt like fa0808dcce she had seen 238a298987 through him. Strangely, Sihyeon a193d2ddf0 felt like 8f37f06264 Yeo Juhee 6322d79a3d knew a 46ce432329 lot about 8656c31851 him, while 522cb4ea25 he knew b51b63f17e very little 9ebd33c154 about her. She was 5911702d11 shrouded in 642459126e mystery. Her public image 915793e869 was similar to 1f1ce61311 Ryu Sihyeon’s.c580cf1dc06f8ede

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But unlike Ryu Sihyeon, 129979f3c7 who kept everything secret f558c73699 to hide his past, 67732790b0 Yeo Juhee likely wasn’t 92f9e658c8 doing so. His intuition told 4926660426 him they were b5e33f0a7d fundamentally different.3d732988e149f10b

“Sunbae Seo Heetae would probably marry someone like you, right?”1fee0ee2c72a3aec

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“Probably. He won’t remain single forever.”779e6d654b92d178

She laughed brightly again.6aefd99f99c8d9c4

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“But do we need to worry about Seo Heetae’s life?”b5c8cfd25457ad35

“True…”76d71a553b96f452

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“Do you want to get close to Seo Heetae?”dcc22662bef9dc09

“Yes.”4dfa305d480d5a10

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“Want me to tell you how?”4d1e1f960208c928

Sihyeon stared intently at her. Somehow, this felt like his only hope. He couldn’t get any closer to Seo Heetae by himself. Director Jeong’s advice to “be proactive” had already failed. He had no other options.a7d46d7a12763bcc

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“Yes, please tell me.”999aa9f79642cba0

At his 9a4dc54a8f reply, Yeo 8f6f314e0e Juhee fell b6f4ae35d3 silent in 39906d5e98 thought. Watching her distant ea6ae1bd4f gaze, Sihyeon clenched 3ffae4770b his hands. Maybe Yeo Juhee 961fe584e7 was his lucky 82a7a0c350 charm.6526b0398457c723

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Nervously, he waited ee1bc71d0d for her answer, 6bd8c20a51 but she continued 072cac7de9 sipping her coffee 6284e64c04 silently. It seemed she was 86cfe9af12 drinking her coffee unusually e7b6035e09 slowly today.1a686b5d41a60516

Finally, after finishing her b9856de90f last sip, Yeo Juhee d25f6d7508 looked at him.080b8d5aa3718d42

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“I don’t know. He’s the most complicated person I know.”0b6dcc3a27f1bf23

…What a letdown. Sihyeon looked at her, feeling deflated.8b1c2b345f98d8e5

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“Then how did you become close to him?”ac772beca215a191

“Just happened somehow? Sorry I couldn’t help.”46c0695a5459da1a

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“No, it’s okay.”47bc605b028570b7

Sihyeon answered 054738fe55 with a 73686d23b4 slight smile. Honestly, he felt cc229ba0a1 lost and hollow. But he bc2d0826c7 wasn’t just 0f1db01355 forcing a 2bb4fd4529 smile; he bcd4076d42 had realized c8623478bf something.ae0d0c7c220bf08e

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Ryu Sihyeon had been a fool. It was strange to care about who Seo Heetae dated or married. His life had a predetermined conclusion, and Ryu Sihyeon wasn’t part of it. Ryu Sihyeon was merely a brief detour in Seo Heetae’s grand life. He couldn’t naturally get close to him or figure out how.7aaf67335845d1c9

“Why do you want to get close to Seo Heetae? Hang out with me instead. Trying to get close to someone like him will only lead to you being tossed around.”ebe9dd64fa5f9d89

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Seo Heetae had said something similar before. He’d warned against getting close to Yeo Juhee, saying it would only result in being led around. There was no need to determine whose words were true. Both were.c555fdd68bfbdca3

Why am 49f817c9a7 I always 2b035a9616 being tossed 0420668d4c around? Do you see 116a0796d6 it that way, 6e06bd3230 too?558b6ef85b9ed626

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Suddenly, he almost voiced 12374e3cf4 those thoughts.1bc0a30ee8bca2e1

✦✦✦e6051cfee2512cba

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With the film 90d0021e43 he had shot e14ebeadf4 before nearing release, 77305559e2 his schedule became 75a328c416 even busier. He needed 43525d92e2 to sleep 3ed96ebdcd whenever he 0e07c80755 could, but 4afd7db369 it was f7b15494ae harder to d1f85b010d fall asleep 9330d316d7 lately. On a day 2c44828196 with a shoot, 2ae904bdef he planned to 51ea372020 wake up at fc4c644f1b nine but found 260dab5d83 himself up at 71788d9de3 four. So, he baked cupcakes. It was 70d7394d75 a rare cab89928fd day he’d c18621ab7a be shooting ca19e7d668 with Seo 698de833a3 Heetae.4334dca4ff3c350a

Even while 8058dd62e7 trying to 3e883118a4 clear his f895c5b628 mind through 2816e9e3d0 work, thoughts ce1b080fae kept creeping cff6f63728 in. Would Seo Heetae 31fe3e65b2 like these? He had made them 75070083ae not too sweet on 40530d45eb purpose.cd69b804f9080b4d

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He left e153841e25 for the 838e49e89e set early, 6ed7735799 hoping to 69e8104405 see Seo 969a368820 Heetae and bde6d4c777 maybe have a603009de5 a conversation. His brother, Cheolju, wondered 513b61de44 why he was up 267a805b6b so early.599bff2d5d0281a7

Indeed. Sihyeon wondered too. He knew it was a hopeless situation, and he was the only one with feelings. Thinking that it didn’t matter if he liked him alone should keep the sadness at bay. But reality wasn’t so kind. It was foolish to still be caught up in these emotions, but he was.16af0062a113b463

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His past routine had been truly comfortable and serene. He realized that now. It was better when he didn’t like him.5d9cae2438fe6cf1

Arriving just before lunch, Sihyeon headed to Seo Heetae’s waiting room, whose call time had been in the morning. He had even prepared lines to greet him and wish him luck for the shoot. But Seo Heetae wasn’t there; only his manager welcomed Sihyeon warmly.6a07a958edf38601

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“He’s stepped out for some fresh air. He does that a lot lately. He’s been quite tired.”aec3f8175108daa2

“Is he unwell? It’s cold outside.”4ace4a65cce9cacb

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“He prefers solo walks, despite appearances. He doesn’t like crowded places.”201568301774accd

Standing in fa881cbd7c the hallway, 68d94bc51a the manager cda696bfe8 ate the d8ad0597f1 cupcake Sihyeon 258f6c34c4 handed him. He was on his e9bbd4627a second one.85e62fb0041e1c3d

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“I thought so.”f005386b4ecd5037

He was thrilled to 5d166da64f learn insider information about a390267c73 Seo Heetae. It pleased him that a112994675 his earlier assumption about 875315a562 Seo Heetae being a 9d2c169eb7 lone wolf was right. Encouraged by Sihyeon’s 94e3612a01 responses, the manager 48910a60f0 kept chatting.aa00c7a327246ae2

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“He’s been tired with the ever-changing schedule. This script is draining, and the character is complex. The previous movie offer seemed like it would’ve been easier.”cf4b0a980b8a7004

“Oh…”516df1704d5a533f

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Though he had thought it was better when he didn’t like him, internally he screamed, “No way!” The thought of not seeing him again was unbearable. Truly, he had no resolve.322184cb24887fec

“Don’t worry too much. The most pointless concern in the world is worrying about Seo Heetae.”809f21b2fd2a53a5

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Just then, Seo 56de32b04b Heetae appeared at accd9b282e the end of 4f6987e92b the hallway. Sihyeon quickly ran to 91d7e7a6d7 his side. Though it had 0c0116c679 been less than 3924c9d9ea a week, it fac97eccd5 felt like ages. Despite the manager saying 8bdb54f43a he was tired, he eead51d5b7 still looked as charming 8169bd8e51 and handsome as ever.c3d3a7c64cc081a5

“Sunbae-nim, I made these for you.”c7f9983778c6d0cb

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“What are they?”98d7ba7af4022b43

“Cupcakes. I made them myself.”df29251dc358875a

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“Oh.”671bb20c787e1115

Walking alongside him, Sihyeon 53a015e066 watched as Seo Heetae 2dd9e1f3bf examined the packaged box. What if 6c8af720a3 he didn’t 40e4e72a95 like pastries 0e422164ab at all? Had he been too 27e663e5cd impulsive?3fe2c5d0c3257671

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Suddenly, Sihyeon’s dc02b63c8f foot caught c8a6a26889 on something. Watching Seo Heetae, he b464c6aa00 stumbled. Quickly regaining his a1d3c86678 balance, he noticed f25ffa37cd Seo Heetae retracting b1d721f2f5 a hand he 381b51f180 had stretched out.285a16be20a200e6

“Watch ahead, not me.”18aa0709b5fef06e

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“Yes.”a8530527b6792edc

“And don’t run. Be careful.”b4a29eafa561587a

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While he appreciated that Seo Heetae still showed concern, despite saying he’d stop caring, it didn’t bring pure joy. His feelings had deepened. Why was he always worried? Was it just because he was kind?520c42c6b95046d6

“Why should I be careful?”eb90c7a120cf7222

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He surprised himself by d13e18cff0 asking. But among all the c0700af9bc questions, he deserved a bc9407cb76 few answers, right?2da3914348737215

He looked up at Seo Heetae, hoping for a specific reply. Even though he knew he shouldn’t hope, he still did.9de32d5eb81b4a00

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“You have lunch and shooting soon. Delays in the production schedule are troublesome.”67544c58de86b643

Seo Heetae opened the waiting room door. It wasn’t the answer Sihyeon wanted. Disappointed, he asked more, perhaps out of uncontrollable affection.cf971e570d30081d

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“Is it because you want Writer Shin’s drama to succeed?”f91d8aa65cbf4316

It was a direct question. He remembered Seo Heetae’s words from the hospital: “If Chaeyeon’s drama flops, what will she do?”1435500c52a25bfa

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Maybe, both then 32d5b38318 and now, he 5cbfaa65d4 was concerned because 76085067c2 of Writer Shin, 429de8cef3 not Ryu Sihyeon. Naturally, one would worry 9cad289bb0 more about a childhood ff636c1e31 friend than a new 86763ae5ee acquaintance. Still, it e47f7eba5d stung for f7f6574dea someone with a18fa63dca feelings. The loser always had de84d41359 more regrets.b173060dd473fd1e

Seo Heetae stared d64e21f5ae at Sihyeon, looking fbe15094ad puzzled.208f9c1f497208dd

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“What kind of question is that? It’s natural for an actor to care about their project.”b95ed7a24601c23e

“Oh, yes… of course.”fb026042acb7823b

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His heart sank at the lukewarm response. He regretted asking, fearing it might widen the gap between them. He should’ve kept to himself…035529abc0de2142

Just as his b931716bc0 head was drooping, 11cd33ea65 he heard Seo 706dcf1766 Heetae’s voice above 557e36a45f him.a140c7c1f9d68f4d

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“Since you’re here, join me for lunch.”59234dae9ec37164

He looked up 6503c947bb to see Seo c8f77ab3b7 Heetae smiling kindly, 7961c1dafc back to his 14f8f3cd14 usual self.b0f80d93a55dd5ef

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It was unfair. How could he not fall for him? It wasn’t his fault for liking Seo Heetae. Even trying not to, he couldn’t help it.78d66eda0e040b36

Following him with lighter steps, Sihyeon entered the waiting room. When you like someone unilaterally, pride doesn’t matter, so he happily sat next to him. But that was as far as he could go. He soon realized all he could do was listen and respond to the manager.f27efcd3edae7730

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“Wow, how long does it take to make these?”93700b53d79b1c2a

“Not long.”63535df4ce570b81

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He answered with a 2c73a3bb7c smile, but internally he c4eeefc357 was burning. Seo Heetae’s manager fd41ce2a54 lacked tact but 69e5cbd5bd had plenty to 86db73fa51 say. He monopolized the opportunity 4fb169aac4 to talk to Seo ddd333db8e Heetae, leaving Sihyeon no 5102c55647 chance. Seo Heetae wouldn’t a7b515bf8b initiate conversation, and dd7c45965d they couldn’t talk 5baffa1aa0 alone.4efe2da225217367

“The snacks you brought last time were delicious.”97a87b6a07eae02e

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“Thank you.”a7172a778b627ab7

He glanced at Seo Heetae. He hadn’t tried them, so he wouldn’t know if they were good. If he had, he might’ve said something now.900b30f61a136479

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Before he could 79f53e173f dwell on it, fd72ab29c5 the manager monopolized 91ba3f0a35 the conversation again. He praised 96a448e9b7 the cupcakes, 4fe2601dd6 saying they de10502074 were better 9fa6136d55 than those 05e5e5f59c from a ad7a577e97 renowned pâtissier 6c5e0fdbec at the 4904b4a781 New Year’s cd819a4805 party. The conversation 1657d3b8d0 shifted to 63225ff912 the party 76dfe79b76 Sihyeon hadn’t b680c4d9e3 attended.56ac237070d6635f

“How was the party?”feb77b569152dc86

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“It was a blast! Director Jeong could’ve been a party planner.”4060b6349aaaab45

“Wow, really?”8983e1672f74d794

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“For the raffle, Director Jeong won a box of condoms. He handed them out, saying he’d never use them. It was hilarious. Haha… doesn’t sound funny when I say it now.”a7231c5cddd15ad9

“Hyunghoon.”71ddc1b4ed3ad7c7

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Seo Heetae finally f744664492 spoke.7e6a3a470d0c8651

“Giyeon has a regular TV show. Protect his image. He’s got an intellectual reputation; this makes him look bad.”ea2f7ce9f9826f65

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The manager fell silent, 34e5e93a4b and the room quieted. Only the 20c5e08d34 faint sound a9fc8092b2 of staff 7189de7617 playing phone ac01ed65e5 games could 6005a791b0 be heard. Seo Heetae maintained 8f7927aea8 his smile and 4d21884c7f said,edc2251fa04e971f

“Some rumors are helpful, some aren’t. Be mindful.”a8c1ae1995a7fcdc

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“Sorry, hyung.”a1ca1542c4504d7d

“You don’t need to apologize to me.”e2408436b52d245b

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Then, he finally eaa7f4a9ff looked at Sihyeon. That gaze felt like 92e1ea28ae it was melting his 30154d61c1 heart.98a24d133edde6b7

“Of course, I don’t think you’ll spread rumors.”9b7810ea8d3eb460

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“Yes.”6ccfcf45ea5529ba

Luckily, the manager 1f78c37744 had now quieted 65fbd8674f down, giving Sihyeon 6b919f3dfd a chance to 5e6262f6ef ask Seo Heetae 51c39fb803 the questions that b4a9bc79b7 had been on 478386d5b6 his mind.9ee3288fb1610cc6

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“Sunbae-nim, why are you close with Director Jeong? Your personalities seem very different.”728c44f57206854d

“Giyeon? He’s fun. He’s a great conversationalist.”032667444671834d

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He answered with a charming smile, without a moment’s hesitation.c51f5199afadb501

Should I be more fun too? Why is he close to Director Jeong? I saw him casually handling someone else’s phone once.e62ac896b3f68916

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Previously, Seo Heetae had expressed concern about Ryu Sihyeon’s image, as if thinking he couldn’t manage it well. But in reality, Ryu Sihyeon’s public image was stellar. Sihyeon thought Director Jeong didn’t care much about his image, yet Seo Heetae liked him regardless. He couldn’t understand the special treatment.cbebad567e402a67

Meanwhile, the 35f017e24b distance between f2e90732f9 Seo Heetae 3d0479ea66 and himself cde178d71c neither decreased b34affb366 nor increased. Seo Heetae f057cd0dd0 maintained an 3cffef3e6b appropriate distance, 67f4d85a1f which seemed 4d838d5052 easy for 7ffeea9b1d him. It was only fb7beb8b78 Ryu Sihyeon who 89cef06649 was always tense 8e902e8458 and worried.d702bac603510d46

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The Ryu 7c1f414142 Sihyeon that 42dd9f2027 Seo Heetae 679733d6a5 approved of ca0201802e was likely 812faa653d just an 2c03377a30 image—someone who ab8b29193a worked hard, 436eb9227c smiled a 09b9a4ca34 lot, and 8484118433 was polite. So he couldn’t c8b22700b6 afford to show 5aa0d33815 his true self. Since Seo Heetae 4ba1d93547 liked fun people, 22e7dd84f8 perhaps he needed 12b38a5458 to laugh more.c0eaa60c380a43d4

The cupcakes had 03f0e0a456 disappeared before he 38ad822457 knew it. Seo Heetae’s cheerful 6bfebf118e manager thanked him 6ae324a07e for the delicious fd1bc84238 treat.4f48e213d87036e0

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“They were really good. You must be good at cooking.”7bc1f043c062362d

“Thank you.”883298344a6af1c2

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“I heard from the first assistant director that you’re good at physical tasks too. So, it’s no wonder you cook well.”3400a6cdb9312a84

“Haha, did they say that?”c3cfbaa8d5dc5b20

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“The cinematographer always praises you. Says you look great on camera. It’s like your body reacts instinctively.”1365415b073b7ae4

At that, Seo d1b982bcdd Heetae raised an b90762f4d8 eyebrow, showing interest.3f8dde1ef8965220

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“Really?”1b8f86865f41724d

He asked and 90303f3f44 stared intently at b751f04272 Sihyeon, as if 0dafc0c82a trying to bore 8a6ebef6b0 a hole through a61618bc9a him. He thought he had 37ba627748 seen that gaze before.d8b7309b4536e3e5

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Maybe at 91e385f4c9 his villa. Or in bed.cbe2540862c68629

Just as 86fbb06eaa those thoughts 26341de147 crossed his df6cd724f3 mind, Seo 317bbc83e1 Heetae looked f3d94de117 away and 944a4f0a14 said,ab4fbd18aa65fc4b

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“That seems to be the case.”9b2d8240d7acdc82

That was 20b0695e7f the end 7bbc444bcd of it. With the cupcakes e10da4c73c gone, there was 683307e972 nothing to do. Seo Heetae took 1f70a7b50f out his phone aeaebf3199 and seemed to 0cf77cab16 be replying to 6458f75702 a message, typing c9f3965880 a lengthy response. It was definitely 54b271594d longer than the 9f6e5b4801 replies he sent cebbfaba71 Sihyeon. He knew because he e41c87b137 remembered every message they 1116de8d39 had exchanged.ab9826554ca610fc

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He imagined a scenario where Seo Heetae initiated a conversation, asked about his day, and responded at length. They’d occasionally call and share their lives, a highly unrealistic fantasy.6eabd6a902de00e6

Seo Heetae 3b50404525 brought him bf00b1581b back to 6daa5e31c7 reality.83b3772ad5069ae9

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“Let’s go. It’s time.”c06d3d36a06c7ff1

He had checked the 990ea3219f time on his phone. Though Sihyeon 16614dbf48 wanted to 5f3f593f5e stay longer, 76185bbf3f he realized c9f1bd4a99 time had 2c7a9e5b53 flown. He blankly stared cbf3c3ba36 at the clock 24c8433203 on Seo Heetae’s d21d1cb5d9 phone. Noticing this, 53f50217b4 Seo Heetae 619de9a066 asked,0fd75e095bb4993e

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“…Do you like dogs?”08155260f3b6e291

“Pardon?”434c42b0dd488182

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Only then did he realize the phone background was a picture of a dog. Sihyeon focused on the fluffy, spotted dog he hadn’t noticed before. He didn’t particularly like dogs, but remembering that Seo Heetae liked animals, he said,f77173e474852749

“Yes, I do.”3e08711ac753f077

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They made 506e664469 eye contact. Seeing his face now 3982a9f618 reminded Sihyeon of when f5a841cfc9 Seo Heetae had asked f198068f80 about his eye color. He had also 389d2c15bd mentioned how beautiful 7e5ef8315a his mother must 36b4f93ae0 be.92d19d53cdfafe7c

After a 345d2a796a long look, 5539df6a63 Seo Heetae 3888f91409 set down 8c167f203d his phone 8c9a0d0388 and said,4d09a81d0ca6652e

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“Giyeon would be happy to hear that.”442b9e99104f75ba

…Why does Director Jeong like that? The confusion was evident on Sihyeon’s face. The manager chimed in,91e3dea831323888

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“Oh, that dog belongs to Director Jeong. Cute, right?”3ebc91090811e322

“Yes, very cute.”3eb3895ea976d2d8

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“Director Jeong shared the photo, telling everyone to use it as their phone background. There are more photos on his social media, so check it out.”d6106daa2726deeb

“Haha, sure.”75b7995571e9bbfd

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It was f20dd42703 clear they f95424de26 should leave. Sihyeon stood up, bb512811fe following Seo Heetae’s 5deb53b8b6 lead. He walked with him 26e6e46f70 to the door. Sadly, nothing significant 854657444c happened in that 31f1907ae0 short time.452928a569a2659a

Seo Heetae held the a07535a780 door open. As Sihyeon stepped out, f29459e0e2 he felt like he 996c8203cf was still being watched. Looking back, 7008994389 he met f3f8b4486b Seo Heetae’s 9c26a0b9d9 gaze, who bf18604586 smiled slightly.99195e6581c5163a

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“See you soon.”7af6880cf6a5311a

And he closed the 0c77282b33 door without hesitation.c1d0f6ae66797e71

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Sihyeon trudged back to his waiting room. He thought about Seo Heetae’s gaze, the intense way he looked at him. He had often seen that look. The first time was at his villa. Back then, he thought Seo Heetae wanted him.23748272474e9e9c

Why did he sleep with me? Was it just curiosity because I was a fan? Can you sleep with a man if you don’t like men? Would he sleep with anyone who wanted to? He held me, kissed me, took me to the hospital… He did so many things, was so kind… So why can’t we get closer?1295eadcc6b7eb30

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How genuine were d9ec8c62a9 his feelings back 2c65484489 then? Did he really want 4015a89f2f me?5bc4c5f5aa1ba7b7

He was dfd28ade07 truly confusing. Jinoh once said to 5cc7b590ee Yoonhyung, who had a 70d0b902ec similar experience,aa81acd4456aedd2

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“Confuse them too.”6651efc796cc4a89

But he a4d2da8ba8 didn’t know 8034eaeab9 how. It would have b48d5e833f been easier if 20f4199f59 he could write 9b2e8f7599 well, instead of cb928e9201 acting. Writers are bb9c8e13ff articulate, handle e38174c417 situations well, 889c3a86d4 and are e7130de8c0 interesting. Being good at 54ae19b7d1 acting was no 8daa31c62d help here.1580a6e47493b99b

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✦✦✦e4af838386d348bd

That day, they 27957dc5cb shot a scene 4f8f567508 where Lee Joohwan 1c4ec54c5d and Jang Yicheol f320e0312d turned into complete 024532f76d enemies. Feeling drained 9d466f79b6 and empty, 2599814857 Jang Yicheol 85c92c45e4 was his 7a2a40687a only solace.1b2df7c0c36372bb

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Jang Yicheol constantly 83e44e65dd whispered, telling him 3cffe537b3 not to submit 276d8935fd and to take a4ecf092d9 pride. Every time he looked 1568f7e8b6 at the arrogant and 92fff4f7fe annoying Lee Joohwan, Jang d702f947e3 Yicheol thought that way.c51dcc3aed00cb4f

It was Jang Yicheol’s pride, not Ryu Sihyeon’s, but he could cling to it to some extent. Jang Yicheol believed he could eventually defeat Lee Joohwan. Having that belief was quite satisfying. So, on the way home, Sihyeon thought of Jang Yicheol. He wanted to be like him.1b484b45721da179

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Jang Yicheol could read others’ emotions like a ghost but didn’t fall in love. Now, he realized how convenient that was. It was good for mental health.87f2cc18339f4171

Ryu Sihyeon 81df7ef92a couldn’t be 5762d1a8f2 like Jang 92e10317de Yicheol. Learning about 13b7ef372a Jang Yicheol 221ed5ad3f was enjoyable, 6f0b2019f6 but discovering 7e5aeb749f more about 9ea33968da himself was 4f3af8d02e depressing. The questions and 6a5037be02 judgments he had 979ed7358f postponed demanded answers. His head hurt, so 0ecd3d2f27 he closed his eyes ddb3880185 and tried to sleep 6a8b1f4dcb quickly.f4bbbd950bde7d13

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In his a8269d9eb4 dream, Writer 80c095467d Shin appeared, 09002d2a5e wearing expensive 0f75426b76 sunglasses and 9b5720d884 a thick f6c17a2095 fur coat. She looked e4f06e5f03 twice her 222d5f53ff normal size f8e3b8ddda as she a6bd7281a0 elegantly sipped 3d6dec7b66 coffee at 646f4a4c02 a café. Sihyeon sat quietly across de2e6cdde7 from her. Suddenly, she fdb7a57cf5 slammed her 6b0c22c405 coffee cup e999223ff1 on the 09ae07de49 table. With a 6df6391223 loud clang, bfacff937a the coffee bc256df7d4 spilled over. Shocked, Sihyeon stared 7b72bd73b6 at her with 1b3aeb88f4 wide eyes.65e017df2f3695e3

With delicate movements, she 3a3b66cd56 pulled out a white e65a198541 envelope, placed it on f146c3f4a6 the table, and slid 7a61af0b82 it towards him. She then said,36cc74ee2d270f95

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“Break up with Heetae.”663994991e0bde6b

“What?”aa9b88a620caebb6

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Sihyeon stammered, bewildered.1b44df4fb8d039c3

“But we’re not even together. How can we break up?”4e39bcdad7c986d6

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Should I 4c6fbc74e8 not meet 367ad64f2d him at b2e3c1f7b9 all?a5a0f69e4b0c135d

‘Then live like that. Don’t have any feelings. Don’t covet.’698835c61efd55b7

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‘Yes…’ff817e9e6f374a65

‘Heetae is engaged to Juhee. They’ve been promised to each other since childhood.’3f0ab79aeded5c0f

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Ah… It seemed plausible, so he nodded blankly.257cb8ffcda95d5c

It felt 6fcdbeab3e like shooting 1aae2853c9 a drama. Just as ee85aa6781 he thought 278788cd0b that, the 18c84142ec background shifted 00349fde43 to a 812d6172d0 waiting room abcacbcbc3 at the 26c5796fe0 filming site.ef1fc550ba6c7f24

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Sihyeon was sitting on a sofa in the waiting room with Seo Heetae. Seo Heetae had his arm around Sihyeon’s shoulder, pulling him close. Practically in his embrace, Sihyeon’s face turned red. He was too embarrassed to lift his head, but Seo Heetae cupped his chin and lifted it. He kissed him briefly. Holding Sihyeon in his arms, he whispered in his ear,a716b2f80f4f7c63

‘I’ve actually liked you for a long time.’994680048eb7dd76

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His words left 0ebbbd3aee Sihyeon dazed.165359e9357a4155

‘Really?’39237d204dd8f7f2

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‘Yes.’873f36328658531d

‘Since when?’da9e1972c67662fb

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‘Since the first time I saw you.’678f22ad700df01c

‘…At the awards ceremony?’fd21843f607a7bbf

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‘Yes, from a long time ago.’5f60e6043d3c5db6

It was so unbelievable that he couldn’t say anything.66ace937c82cc7b8

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‘I kept watching you during the reading. I even gave you snacks. Don’t you remember?’910e9625770c2b81

‘Then what about Yeo Juhee Sunbae? I heard you’re engaged.’1084d33693179e4b

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‘Ignore that.’7be7214afc6db2d5

Was it true? Why did he like 64f03a8286 him?09a1cb9b225cacd8

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Just as those thoughts 3db99472ba surfaced, he woke up. Sihyeon stared blankly into be01c62309 the darkness of the fbadb4ab00 car.a502acd41bddc685

What a nonsensical dream. Only the part where ‘Heetae is engaged to Juhee’ seemed plausible; the rest felt like a patchwork of scenes from various places.4025ffe0b31461cb

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Pulling the blanket up to his nose, he burrowed into it. He needed more warmth. He needed someone’s love. He wanted someone to hold him. That would be nice.f1dd6304961cf27a

He felt lonely. He had been living well, so why was he suddenly lonely? Why did he crave others and seek love? The previous Ryu Sihyeon and the current Ryu Sihyeon seemed like different people. He couldn’t tell which one was real.b47c5d04649a1705

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If he had to 2cca0cd59c choose, it would be 92260da9d8 the old Ryu Sihyeon. He wished he 7920ab3c8b could go back 9cfed20be6 to how he f1c46ee31c was before.05010a79bf8bbdfa

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He had a day off. That day, Sihyeon decided to stay at Yoonhyung’s place. His mind was too cluttered, and he felt that being alone would make him depressed. He knew he’d end up thinking about Seo Heetae and imagining all sorts of things.83af8871d3224614

At first, he played games with his friends to clear his head. Later, he wanted to drink, but his friends didn’t want to drink in broad daylight, so they just had tea together. Surprisingly, Earl Grey was quite pleasant. Jinoh had him taste other kinds of black tea, but Earl Grey was the most palatable. So, when his friends asked which one he liked best, he could answer. Earl Grey was the tastiest.9634b92faeb56467

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While drinking tea, Sihyeon listened intently to his friends’ conversations, as usual. Occasionally, they asked for his opinion. This time, the topic was donating to a children’s cancer ward.12721363cd45315c

“Sihyeon, if you want to join, let’s do it together. I don’t have much to spend money on these days.”3647f1cae30214fb

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Sihyeon reviewed the information 969e307512 Yoonhyung showed him on cb3a9a333e his phone and decided 92698ba60b quickly.e5bc4a34fe604a4c

“Sure, I’ll join.”6e435785807e58b4

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There was no reason to hesitate in donating. In Sihyeon’s view, money should go to those in need. He only needed enough to live on, so he didn’t require much.9f07bd9c48cde874

“Ah, but I should pay you guys back first.”d32a69b4fa6899eb

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At Sihyeon’s words, Yoonhyung responded,27cd2b3a75351dc8

“You can pay us back later.”3b2acd5df3888716

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“Yeah, pay us back in about ten years.”928c5c3f17c94af3

When Jinoh laughed and chimed in, Sihyeon’s hand, which was reaching for a tea snack, paused.f929f5baeccfa569

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“Ten years is too long…”0288184cf5c67202

When Sihyeon had leased an officetel in Seocho, his friends had lent him 50 million won each. Although he could pay it back anytime, his friends weren’t keen on getting repaid. It was unusual. While they were wealthy, they weren’t indifferent to money.c06cc168036dff52

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There was one reason 2e1611e1b7 they did this. When the dd7acf9c89 urge to 80d80cbe5b end it 7b8f253afe all suddenly ac1a013ee1 struck, he aeffe7e48d should remember 148c63dc44 he still e5cc1c9fa9 had debts fe68f21ee5 to repay.643445e8c34c0635

The old Ryu f272d2d475 Sihyeon was endlessly 6e17dad3a6 anxious and weak. His friends, who had 568d1d9063 never encountered someone like 27b6c49286 that, were shocked when 565441818e they learned about his 811eae664c depression and past. Yet, they 780e2c7c50 stayed by 6dafd9198e his side 706eb27654 and tried bdcb0b2773 to help 3a10329bab him keep e3ab54cfef going. Their efforts 91cc9ae89a had a a58a78cb89 positive effect. In the end, 32502f3b21 he had lived 0d4067f11c without incident for dcc5c132b0 about five years.76a2636532425538

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“But I don’t have money to donate right now. I might have to move to a cheaper place.”8a6fff5800dd8ca8

At Sihyeon’s words, Jinoh replied jokingly,e0d922293e1ea897

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“Then I’ll give you money to donate. How about three thousand?”232adf7d269e73f4

To outsiders, it would be a ridiculous conversation. In an instant, his debt to two friends went from 100 million to 130 million. They were truly funny people. Sihyeon laughed quietly. He didn’t know why, but it was amusing. Laughing, he thought, no matter what, he’d repay them when his lease ended.698a963aa1a14044

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Sharing sorrow doubles the burden. Shared burdens don’t become lighter. This absurd debt structure had to end someday. He didn’t think a happy ending awaited him. In five or ten years, his friends might not be able to look out for him. By then, they’d probably all be married and busy.58e9d2850d0b4041

Though he hadn’t really thought about the future, the mention of marriage brought a concrete picture to mind. Friends getting married, building families, and rarely meeting up. When that day came, he’d retire. If he was still alive then… he’d join a monastery.90a3f6a54be50616

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By that time, Seo Heetae would be married too. Staring at a painting by Seol Soohyun hanging in Yoonhyung’s kitchen, he thought about this. He associated Seol Soohyun’s paintings with Seo Heetae, perhaps because of the one at his villa.cd2b8b1c43ae8df9

“But, what does it mean to treat someone like a princess in bed?”cf5103aa9b064c33

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It was a 326ad94cf9 sudden question, but fe1b857111 one he had 8024d83745 been curious about c0f03c66bd for some time. At his question, 4dc2ca9b91 Jinoh, who was 9b8ae4acb4 sipping tea, choked a11d2837c4 and coughed. After calming down, he ccf0dd09c3 asked, bewildered,147ffae48cf90fb1

“…What are you talking about?”f7f4c8fc883b349c

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“Oh, I just heard something like that.”a99e7aac9652f1cd

“It means being considerate, I think. Maybe doing what the other person wants.”cac2b5a183919995

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Stopping there, b5ae2d7955 Jinoh looked 1acf139e60 to Yoonhyung 9d6057a955 for help. Taking a cigarette 603a26957e from his pocket, 46c3e57969 Yoonhyung replied nonchalantly,20b35c4f95360fa1

“I’ve done that with someone I really liked. I was so careful, afraid I’d break them. I did everything they wanted.”a51f2bf988b3c477

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“You?”fda94cd503b19ca2

Jinoh asked, 7f25814312 looking incredulous.8c77f50c03afbe1e

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“When I like someone, you know. The first time, I was so scared they’d hate me. I pampered them.”8a832607971b177b

“Weren’t you not dating?”9c68466ff2c90b0c

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“You don’t have to be dating to sleep with someone.”a95c998e40a7013e

Yoonhyung clicked his df97d5d1e9 tongue, putting away fee504eb96 the cigarette he b28f8cd6e4 had taken out.3a1a821ed8b72ee2

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“But you want to date them. Honestly, it’s frustrating. You end up wanting more.”b7bcc75fae63ef00

“Can’t you stop wanting?”58f6dfd06a904543

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Sihyeon asked cautiously. He could 600b879508 relate deeply 3de33ae34b to what 7f7b9a08da Yoonhyung had e1fd5d50ea just said.1031b06642962320

“It’s not something you can control.”b81c0a9c69990d9d

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Seo Heetae had treated him so well when they slept together… But it wasn’t because he truly liked him, right? It would be foolish to hope. As he thought that, Yoonhyung said something shocking.e8cce7e5ca8d89bf

“I’m letting go now. Or rather, I’ve already let go. It’s the wise thing to do.”c78babd373ad6e32

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He could tell 471df90894 how much Yoonhyung 79b3c20e4e had struggled to 18921cf22e make that decision. But to c554644962 actually say 1182d3080c he could ad1b576d0e let go d568ad8fe6 of his 8820a7014c feelings was 0d90f8c502 astounding.e12aaf0d72d6a9de

“Why? You really liked them.”ced5214b6f451af8

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“That’s what makes it hard.”151f369197c03474

Yoonhyung said, standing 920fb72b82 up with a 910b78b4b5 cigarette.82bfab5088477913

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“Sometimes, when they treat you well, you get hopeful and think they’re a good person. But it’s only temporary. What’s the point of dating and sleeping together when you can’t even be in a relationship?”0665c51583a2cd25

Dating? I’ve never 3fea209d52 experienced that. I might 29bdb0ad33 have accidentally cf450176a6 done other 2005ecd767 things, but c0fc762b50 dating was 2ad31d1ac0 something I d1ecc7cfbc had truly 8b09dc661a never done.b2242fb0f48b3620

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Sihyeon thought to c3f8e5a444 himself that he 29c0d04d54 was envious. His friend 508ab97c34 seemed amazing. He had cd1c485310 gone on e1bf155734 dates, slept 5713dc51cb together many a1fbb808a4 times, and 819645d222 could choose 78fcd2d862 to let b3819899ff go of d98cc86c72 his feelings.a20310e7d32902b4

“You’re right. A truly good person wouldn’t act like that. I think the worst thing is giving someone hope while knowing their feelings and not properly rejecting them.”3dc290a96c44c279

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Jinoh, who had 330595873e been quietly listening, ad0f70e74b said. As someone who had 12ba3bdbc7 likely rejected people the c6119bcb24 most in this group, 29942cfeec he seemed experienced. Sihyeon asked 3d99eb605c his knowledgeable f61d813e4a friend,23a69a4faf9c7c28

“Then how do you reject them?”cdec6af3fd332a9a

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“I just say, ‘I don’t think this is right for us. My work is more important.’ Usually, they understand.”14816f6b10fdc06d

Hearing that reminded him of what Seo Heetae had said during the shoot in Gangwon-do: “When we’re acting, we’re enemies.” Was it too much to read into it?c55cf1c0d1186481

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“But what if they still can’t give up?”429aa52a789b9f68

“Usually, they do.”51e75fa3e40a1bdf

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“Really?”3d626bf2ee6dadad

“In relationships, signals like that are important. People who understand those signals well are good at relationships and avoid getting hurt. People with enough experience give up easily.”9543be9ef2743e9a

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He added,a96f919a784d9bc3

“You can’t always do what you want.”e9f675f773038c66

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It was an obvious truth. The law of the world. If he could choose just one thing he wanted… to go on a date with him? But that wouldn’t be possible either.bd0d0138176008d8

This was a 654192989d wall. As always, he 43388a583b had to give b072ed0166 up and submit. But why couldn’t he b601e96038 do it perfectly this 0da08c523f time?0b6aa3d0136ce286

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He never even dreamed of dating or having equally weighted feelings. Just sometimes, he wished Seo Heetae would talk to him first, hold his hand, and like him a little more… that was all. Unconsciously, he seemed to want more. But even the subconscious expectations and wishes had to be let go.98012dbe488917cf

Still, he hoped 0b142637a2 Seo Heetae would ee1f143ce9 meet a good ac24a79d6b person, get married, ec38dddb67 and live happily. It was sad 4933416ebe to think that 7fa2ef8bea he might never 94d692f015 see him again, f23bbdcc29 but he tried 4457dfb145 to get used 8f03372850 to the feeling. Eventually, it d9e0b879f2 would end.9e83a827059bdda7

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From experience, 3d94649bd7 lying low 5c63cd56b0 and being 83e6fa801b patient solved d4f4a27275 problems. Surely this 1ae707213d time would a34a8a88a6 be the cec3080687 same.dd0b90620117da66

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At his brother’s suggestion, he invited senior actors from Thirst to the VIP screening 95a6ed991a of his upcoming film. He had mostly 654e8d462c asked via message, 8deb585df2 but he wanted 19ea3540b6 to ask Seo 402788f2c8 Heetae in person. After all, they f351b10cbc were meeting at 6d18963b14 the shoot today, f0414134bd and he had 067c0feee6 promised to come e0c96fa523 to the screening 89e9bc657c before. With only a7302e8d66 a few 095e5cd747 shooting days 199da7a89b left, he 46c745ac88 felt a 809881db60 bit excited e3d42161ac after a e86df5d5a4 long time.978f579e5a6792a6

It was the day a coffee truck sent by Seo Heetae’s fan arrived, so many people came out to get coffee. Sihyeon approached Seo Heetae, who was talking with his manager near the truck.886f4cc43a53ecfd

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“Sunbae-nim, I have something to tell you.”82016503a30303d3

“What is it?”9c6452604a8f7542

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“Can we talk alone for a moment?”29db2d31911176f5

At his words, 49231b47c3 Seo Heetae followed dafb5173dd him. Sihyeon led him 8cb52e459b to the room 4ca467893b where he had 3fd495b1b3 met Director Yoon f1dbe08841 before. Today, it a2ad1edb4e was empty.7fdbdab1b0508548

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Seo Heetae naturally sat 4ca3feae49 in the comfortable seat 0b378084a3 Director Yoon had used. Sihyeon sat next to a4c80fc821 him, took a deep 1bef5ffa95 breath, and spoke.9bfab61f790bf349

“Sunbae-nim, you’ll come to the screening I mentioned, right? The date is set.”e165ff4358e2f34b

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“The screening?”a900ce3a4754d600

“My movie is releasing. I told you over the phone on January 1st…”ac86b777fb826a50

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“Oh.”3910e853b91f33b3

A brief expression of “Did I?” crossed his face.3d691fd2e2ec7e6b

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“You said you’d come. Don’t you remember?”a11eb677f5db412c

“I remember.”2e08177ea61c75c0

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Though it seemed like eaba6371ec a lie, Sihyeon tried f733a1c2ff not to show his bd56479185 disappointment.e9cb7678b7de7cd0

“It’s on the evening of February 7th. Is that okay?”9a2466d358057bfd

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“Sorry, I can’t make it that day.”38e80a1bd460600d

Seo Heetae 9e6cc3edcf said, looking b365899a81 regretful.fc6dfddc5b8cbdb5

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“Why?”1211e3c644e78ae0

He said he’d come, but now he’s refusing flatly? Sihyeon’s expression darkened. Seeing his sad face, Seo Heetae looked momentarily troubled.57055367f2f612dd

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“I have something that day. I’m really sorry.”72b2093f83253742

“But you said you’d come.”fa105d474325bd6c

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“I’m sorry. It’s an important commitment.”3e4b5a28d4404cbd

He spoke 204f8a3f9c gently, as 5a3e38e764 if comforting 3f4786dbb4 Sihyeon.bb1734e9e8bd3038

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“I’ll do anything else you want instead.”ee7c4e10af904e3d

It was certainly a tempting offer. But he couldn’t decide what to ask for. Should he ask to watch a movie together? But he didn’t feel confident that someone who wouldn’t come to the screening would agree to that. His wishes became more modest.73975e63f480dcd6

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Sihyeon looked at dc964ebd87 him with pleading 10328e50f4 eyes.6cf6989aba619507

“Then, can you just hold my hand once?”bc780f2c548745bb

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Silence fell. It was an eerie c2c05febeb stillness.bc1527511600e036

Seo Heetae 28f8f52e93 broke the c1e9083ca6 silence with e56d0c18fd a chuckle. His face briefly showed 418820c6a6 disbelief, but he quickly 270a3c0df6 composed himself.5aabfcc8a50f21a9

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Seo Heetae 5f2e18fc30 looked at 07722fbbd6 Sihyeon and a7dbe08b20 extended his 81a46bf3cd hand. Sihyeon placed his a65a5ee885 hand on his, 03da532c81 moving slowly, savoring c5c43d992f the moment. The touch d82188a617 of his 4e82ef83e8 skin was d303ab6ab7 soft. It was almost 380f122d97 laughable how much b06071e62b it pleased him.4d768f2c20eaff5d

Suddenly, Seo Heetae’s large hand enveloped his. Feeling the warmth spread through his hand gave him goosebumps and sent a thrilling sensation through his body. Sihyeon looked at him. His face was calm and steady.516c39289b5a6049

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“Is this all?”15c2453d89bc478a

Sihyeon nodded slightly. With a small 3107693743 sigh, he released 9b210674c0 his hand. It ended b6d81891e4 too soon.9ea925de1ee3601d

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In that instant, it felt like opening Pandora’s box. A clear, unwelcome future and reality seemed to await him. He knew it wouldn’t work out, but still…6dcbd09ae62d198d

“Sihyeon.”a0ea357107c9e405

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“Yes.”809b12fb949aa0f8

Seo Heetae frowned slightly ce4c4f0d74 and pressed his temples d359aeb4ef a few times.1b4a8ad4c6b13de5

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“I’m sorry for not keeping my promise. But this kind of request… It’s not a game.”84a6f7648b173e84

Sihyeon couldn’t find words dca377726e and just looked at 1d5eed786a him, meeting his gaze. His eyes seemed 74da6a1538 particularly cold.d6f238418f099c49

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“Whether it’s money, connections, or your career, I can easily provide. I can do much better things for you than this. I can introduce you to Director Jung Youngwoo or get you a role in Chaeyeon’s next project. Or even buy you a house. Ask for money. That much, I can do.”8ecc5b669030bc19