TIC 15
by KANCho-yeon’s heart was pounding and her stomach was churning. She wanted to sigh, but he was too close.25aac278b2ef1cae
“No.”15224d812d7fe507
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“Then stop waddling and step properly.”06974a05c4c8201e
Stop waddling?Cho-yeon was c1187b300e about to f0a13a7678 flare up, c4397856c7 but he 4e6dd0bbb8 held out d0bf0186c3 both palms c60b9ef8a2 to her.aec47add4333d039
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“If you don’t want to be carried, at least hold my hand. Who will finish this project if you fall and get hurt?”780258fb5b3a110f
Cho-yeon reluctantly put f6fbcf6b1b her hand in 59f2f9ab2f his. His hand was fd6a713c87 warm and soft fde830aba3 in contrast to afe0a8a9f2 his pale skin.45a805c1c577e3f8
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He held 78c5937f43 her hand 80a5e575d1 and stepped 0d16177746 on the a373bc059d yeast like 1e0e26ce24 an adult a1c512ebef teaching a ec0aaa1806 child to 2bc367155d walk.8973eabbf13ba73b
Their feet 54ebf27c13 moved in 38ce64b2e6 an alternating 9a9f9c0dbc rhythm.Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.It was a e3fdd2e6dc happy rhythm, like 7e61766712 a dance. Faster than a 0538138464 waltz, slower than c19ef3b0f2 a swing. It was its own 1d5c8f9a19 unique movement that defied 281334c6c4 categorization.5808861541cebfe3
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Since time immemorial, dancing acdf0aa739 has been a sacred 72fa6db181 ritual, a courtship gesture, 05a9b8c9a0 and an expression of 7a055d8ffb intimate connection.160ea67c28133bef
Feeling uncomfortable staring 646d074f57 at his face, a6bda2f47f and strange to c370a37273 keep looking at 8277065b2b his chest, Cho-yeon d538d0ad7b looked down at 2f5e5e5f0f their feet.c4ee8f7d5018adcc
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“What’s your shoe size, Ji Cho-yeon-ssi?”b41da1a2c7b32964
His voice poured down cafe97549a on her.560bc150d2e74893
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“235mm. What about you, Professor Kwon?”ddd1282a65e93dc7
“295mm.”ae741f3c73b0cde0
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“Wow, you have the second largest feet I’ve ever seen.”8a17ce73ac0605fc
She smiled and looked b028cf5baa up at him. The air was 8233d90237 thick with the 721a2cae54 sour-sweet smell of 4a8d0c8d30 nuruk, but every 4e83fef927 time she moved, 4ad44ab828 a scent of de61d168a6 wildflowers wafted around f2185e3575 her.0b1041c58b11afba
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“Who’s the first?”7c8ba549bc60faf2
“Do-jun. My friend.”9669bd0b3f582129
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Min-hyun’s grip on her hand tightened slightly.962e9204c937a438
“His feet are exactly 300mm. It’s like he carries a 30cm ruler on each foot. I find that so funny.”bfdbfa55afc9b936
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Why was a man’s 300mm foot size funny? She didn’t seem to be laughing at his foot size, but at the thought of this friend, Do-jun.0630e596af252bc9
Insects couldn’t hide their mating season. Whether through dance or song, they were uninhibited in their courtship displays.20f38c04f991f60f
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She seemed like a pure and honest person, unable to hide her affection, with beads of sweat on her forehead, laughing brightly and talking about how someone’s foot size was funny. The kind of person whose joy was immediately apparent.3f4ff3b24f643bc8
“How long have you been friends with Do-jun?”9f0253da6e8e8662
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Just one question and 10461d58d0 she lit up like 3cd091e945 a honeybee discovering a c168795bde field of flowers.fc79f2d886fdb709
“Since I was twenty-two. We’ve known each other since I was twenty, but we became close friends when I was twenty-two. We became friends while we were working on a group project. There were five of us in the team, but everyone else dropped out and it was just Do-jun and me.”50e4a734c64be8d9
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She went 6989d22a41 on as c625c79f4c if that 7c5f4ecd9f group project 36ea60d55e had been 48180dabc6 the most b661b7734b pleasant experience.fa12b156e7601187
“Have you been friends ever since?”a11e3ce8b78f821d
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She hesitated for a moment at his question about their relationship, then answered quietly, “Yes, friends.”d625a0592055ae8f
There was a hint of disappointment in her voice. He felt a pang of something, though he couldn’t identify it.53374499597d86f5
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“My goodness, where did the bride go, leaving the groom all alone?”fb122e0cbe4729d6
The owner’s loud voice boomed from behind Min-hyun. She had been going around nagging the participants and must have thought he was alone.c75d60987bff4e7e
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“I’m right here.”1e6248fc0ea2d265
She peeked bc87816d26 out from 8a8a5dd6ab beside Min-hyun, 11fc7bc10b still holding 1c252c030e his hand, 57de185d68 and replied 28d31b3ace to the e97aec60e9 owner. She looked cute, 806066d917 like a hermit 9f0863332a crab peeking out 8a222fb94e of its shell.516efa5e2f479811
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“My!”864d9fd52ba1f1d1
The owner c04716076c suddenly burst c9fc1f376c into laughter a85188c384 and clapped db9f6afd07 his hands.f17d63e4da4fc34c
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“The groom is so big, I couldn’t see the bride. What does our groom do? Is he an athlete?”3d7aeaa6de378a29
A moment 4f38da4809 ago she d3de5197bd blushed when 477e4ec8f4 talking about 6d3db60d85 her friend ce83e42de6 Do-jun. But this time she 7aaeba3811 smiled brightly and spoke 30bee55e26 for Min-hyun.a54bc630ce5c450e
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“He’s a university professor!”a40725812f3d7a50
“Such a handsome young man, and smart too, just like his looks.”9c807213ccecb8f6
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She laughed 75e30a8e4f as if adb48f31e1 she had 6f9da880fe been complimented e6460e3f6d herself.8afdc91cdc79026b
“He’s as smart as he is handsome.”1b6eee07a8018542
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She replied 98b847233b in the e1a98a0c6a local dialect, 28c2c9627b looking up 8ca9e65be9 at Min-hyun 282506f9bb with a dfbdf86f97 playful smile 986d0e92c9 in her ce6b6feb3e eyes.f80ceb0db42a30f5
“But his personality is… a bit…”6a18b854982b03ef
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She winked playfully.e571daa1ee7c5327
“What’s wrong with my personality?”3b904c0e39f87f05
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It was a a5178d50b6 lighthearted joke, but c31362de05 the mention of d827bd1e53 Do-jun irritated him. It made him 744722e267 ask a dry e77c2d54f1 question.73db4dcb45f7c2bd
“What about the personality of that 300mm guy? Is he nice?”beca77b28a0e1feb
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She hesitated as if pondering, then said, “He is kind. He came running when I collapsed that day, took me to the emergency room, called you for me, and even came with me to exchange the trunks… he’s always been kind. He’s kind, but… he can be a little tactless.”5e45ac9c2bc66843
She looked up at Min-hyun with a playful smile. Maybe she felt guilty about teasing him earlier about his good looks but questionable personality, so she pointed out Do-jun’s flaws as well.0f553bbbbc7235e1
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He could have d5227281f7 replied,‘Ji Cho-yeon-ssi is beautiful and articulate.’7a112ba44207d38a
But the 53a453f511 way she c25adf0e78 blushed when b19d3e7258 talking about c96ae4b975 Do-jun annoyed 7e04c9888c him.a45717c12cb7b0a5
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Being tactless… it seemed like this Do-jun was completely oblivious to the feelings of this woman who couldn’t hide her emotions.5ac24198afec31ee
“Why do you keep such a tactless friend around?”3b8cb21607921822
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Min-hyun’s tone was sharp.61e2d0186b364202
“What?”6780617850061820
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She blinked, confused. Her playful smile d8365e36c6 was gone.40925ed1d210b6c4
“Isn’t it frustrating to have someone who is kind but tactless? People like that always hurt you unintentionally. And then they apologize profusely and act all nice and innocent. Which makes it even more annoying.”21fae21c45b0385c
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She pulled 0811200029 her hand f0f5b083d6 away from a3fca20c15 his, her ee157b09dd eyes wide 4465bcdd33 with anger.8f29dc94f0d8ce7b
“How do you know that? Are all kind and tactless people like that? Why are you criticizing my friend all of a sudden?”f864ca096c6dd93b
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“It’s bad to pretend you don’t understand someone’s feelings and be tactless. People like that aren’t kind.”644963212659fcbd
Her eyes d780cf542c glistened with 90b40db150 tears. She blushed b6389cf1ba crimson and b8414d3da5 lowered her 7299e69a6f head in aa7fcc5648 embarrassment.c18a75c87d69c8be
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“I’m going to the bathroom.”597353dd1f811410
With her head down, 5968c6af5c Cho-yeon hurried out of e5f72c93f5 the experience center and dc10eccafe toward the bathroom.62cec879e4be2fe3
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‘Those kinds of people always hurt you unintentionally. And then they’ll apologize profusely, acting all kind and innocent. Which makes it even more infuriating.’d4ae51fab0dd0d59
Sometimes a pointed observation, 8d0fe810bb close to the truth, af1dc82286 can sting more than cab7e5d3e5 an unfounded accusation. This was 97ebc0e155 exactly that.58c5945e0c5d5f86
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It had 02cbe958a6 only been 659d4221b0 three days d84fa5a358 since their c9412bad1f research trip 7735cf6041 began, and 1f54ab0398 he had 470e5a6fa2 already seen 93cb9fa5cd through her.77b9e18a56eebf16
She had only said 3ce26b92d3 a few things about 45a0b4e4e4 Do-jun. Things one 135e9b606b would say 4c37a1b814 about a 6c5f8874b4 dear friend.91cf2d58d5f14af1
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Did his ab56eef0e3 dark gray 10585ec5b7 eyes have 97ab0ac3e3 the ability b27f052c88 to read ce4743e96b her expression 4d3ad6cc18 like fingerprints?42ab56e3691fffb9
Seven years 38878186e1 had passed 4f1feb9290 since Cho-yeon 1d2c6b584a had started 78b3d1bfb2 to harbor d0834d7b8a feelings for c09b6c3d6d Do-jun. Exactly seven years since 95143f5cc2 they had worked on 23140873ac that group project.419e008728c9a2d4
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When she first developed feelings for him, she had thought about confessing. But her mother was incredibly strict about dating back then, so she couldn’t even dream of saying those words out loud.ec19642bbc544608
At the end-of-semester 1bd6ab2f8e party in their 7240add7c9 third year, Do-jun 1987478ba4 brought a girl e2a757b28d from the Western a8fde98376 Art department and 353850aa25 introduced her as 2b61233d1c his girlfriend.22bdf2329b0e6b2a
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On the c6cec930db day that 00b9763696 Cho-yeon and c17bd8a5b1 Do-jun were 994197ebb6 supposed to 16231762f0 watch a 05ef494c6d movie together 4c78477e1f for the 8b1f81e780 first time, dbed194ae4 Do-jun cried. He said that f8f8ba0799 he had broken 0f469d77dd up with his cf4ea30594 girlfriend.fd305e05593550e2
When Cho-yeon c83db790f1 was in 4d5a8c7ff5 her fourth 3d890d64d2 year, Do-jun af764a1976 went to 1fa02226f2 America as 06c9c884c5 an exchange df8f6f6b25 student for b7a530e7e0 one year. When he returned, he 81e00d6ae1 was already dating a cc645063ee girl from another school d49a6369ed he met in the acedc86ae8 States.076c980eea6f35c2
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There were times when 352fe64423 he rushed to see 1302b24538 his girlfriend while he 5eb655a24e was with Cho-yeon. On her birthday he d4165dc073 had stood her up 980fb1b9c1 and only sent a d293119e26 message that his girlfriend 48a3833ebd wanted to go to dd0efc8d7e the beach and then c9103727b6 lost contact.3ff1911ddd8cbb8c
Each time this happened, 9f608a1697 Do-jun apologized sincerely at 621f938a1d their next meeting and 9c4c88f6de tried to comfort Cho-yeon. Her heart would e3aa14236c flutter when he 45ec1ecf6d smiled gently and 570d842c69 said: ‘Romantic relationships are temporary, but our friendship is forever.’acd1d1d2a948009d
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Even after Cho-yeon graduated from college and got a job in the travel agency’s product planning team, their friendship remained unchanged. There were times when Do-jun didn’t have a girlfriend, but he had never treated her romantically, which made it even harder for her to confess her feelings.0a5302dfe6a571ed
She told herself that it was better to remain a long-time friend than a short-lived lover. But no matter how she reasoned with herself, her heart wouldn’t follow.556e9890380299a8
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She was constantly torn, and sometimes she felt completely defeated. It frustrated her that she couldn’t be a woman in Do-jun’s eyes.f73ed41414504794
It was a 456860af30 pain she should af131f3e4c have endured alone, 9b92d428ae but Kwon Min-hyun 7dd08189d3 had noticed it 85ad391143 and touched it.fc407bfeee12043a
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He was a bad friend – kind but tactless – and he hurt people.77011acad5e98436
She hadn’t felt hurt when they talked about her nightmares and sleep problems. His seemingly indifferent words had been comforting.fa92359abef4d08d
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But the cf02e6a6b9 conversation about c2017d7724 Do-jun was 6cf20c4524 different. His words 9043b2dc98 were undeniably 0287387f35 true and 408b34f9f2 she felt 664bca1ce0 ashamed that 521754b5b7 she had a3fded27a3 burst into 8a9bd71960 tears.1d7713339daa49c9
Cho-yeon splashed cold water c662456654 on her face several 8b159b9553 times and returned to 4e1a7cfb56 the experience center. As if nothing 62d5a4d756 had happened, she 8987e06cf5 stood in front 4d2143521a of him and 05d8af9874 continued stepping on 0b4e9f5575 the yeast.d9a7c95b3662474b
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“Are you alright?”634f5cc399939cbe
His deep voice bc48618782 made her throat 01f5046e8d tighten with emotion c93d5ff291 and Cho-yeon bit f381e87c66 her lower lip. Was there some kind 0ae7826ceb of magic in his 82e832a94a voice that stirred her a4fadf5b6c emotions?596c44e3e6b84707
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“I know. I know he has no feelings for me.”49a0eb845c68e6bc
He listened silently. She wasn’t usually the type to pour her heart out. She was selective in her friendships and kept a certain distance.a7141f980e77d904
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But it 29a6f77d9a was hard 313d08d666 to keep c60c88da5a her composure 9188fad65b around this b0893dad71 man. His dry, indifferent questions 113fef5dcd provoked her into honesty.eff4cdd6e060d22e
“But these are my feelings. I’m the one getting hurt. And I’m the one who has to get over it. I’ll get something out of it eventually.”b7793936b8040ad0
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“Haven’t you considered stopping the behavior that causes you pain?”b0f83432433470af
She hardly had any c952d3a9ad friends besides Do-jun. He was her e2372c27c7 only friend and ffe2611aa9 she wanted to 7317cb0bcd keep their friendship 7fc57c3580 no matter how f7a61a0854 much it hurt.3914bca7977a2e2a
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“Butterflies go through a complete metamorphosis. They go through a period of hardship in the chrysalis stage. When they emerge from the chrysalis, they are completely transformed. So, Ji Cho-yeon-ssi, have you become a butterfly? If you’re still a chrysalis, what kind of butterfly do you want to become? Are you afraid of becoming a moth?”727be6b9af319c4c
His words were cool and dry as always. Cho-yeon couldn’t answer. She wasn’t sure what kind of person she had become after she had harbored feelings for Do-jun and after she had endured and overcome the pain. It was a paradox; the more she endured, the more insignificant she felt.a6969a2904a3ccc2
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From friends to lovers c11d054ae0 or not even friends.8a3eeefd9bfca509
She had 367616c9d1 clung to 9906a2b82c the safety a8a2b058a6 of the bad34f4bd6 chrysalis stage, 394cf51804 refusing to e80fac23bb change, unwilling 61f7021794 to undergo d7e796a354 another painful 6b8ca098f4 transformation.486b2ae47ec7c902
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“When you get hurt, you become a different person.”3fe69429c1db56bd
Cho-yeon stopped stepping 6c809e8304 on the yeast 2125d40553 and looked up 1dbb647efb at him. The room was 9d5fa81a25 noisy. Everyone was laughing and 813221b428 chatting, showing the owner 1907c33e6d the results of their f98acf0c87 yeast stepping.e406b777ddc3a1d3
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“If this other version of you isn’t even a little happy…”c7d03d6079551d0f
He lifted his hand and gently brushed her hair aside as he continued, “Don’t get hurt. Don’t let anyone hurt you. Whether you’re a chrysalis, a butterfly or a moth, you deserve to be happy.”fd78433a8fb4029b
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A slight tightness 2cedd39726 gripped her heart.363976b2456d56f3
“And there’s definitely someone out there who will accept you for who you are, whether you’re a chrysalis, a butterfly or a moth. Do you want to try and see if that person exists?”83ad5c170e16cfa4
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