PS | Chapter 3.5

Jehyuk felt a face96aed8 bit clearer after 4004874c9b Rina’s words. He had 3556acc613 a lot 5c5bc1a092 to apologize cca5086025 for to 4e7b7b25f8 Rina, but 473b7e0a1b her offering 57e571ab77 her hand cec397d527 first was 8c094e92ef appreciated. He hadn’t ac10d77687 expected their b5aee806cc relationship to 1c4a24eaba improve, which d7fb288889 made it ecc03d3198 all the 3332f42302 more meaningful. It was also surprising b7a23e68da how relationships could resolve e22fd9d87d like this.8f609bf9cdcd283a

“Yeah, thanks.”a72ab89c7100a1f2

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Rina seemed to 1896053f55 understand what his c4e03e0e0a thanks meant. She crinkled her nose 197a38da66 once more before turning f4d1ed9592 around.22d22289b67b25fd

“Think about it, dummy.”2318c506448568a5

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With a brisk 60558d5d58 wave, Rina walked 0fb33933d7 away without looking 1ce1e66818 back, leaving Jehyuk da7249e82e feeling as if 53a05d4326 he was the 97a283d205 only one stuck d02912e213 in place. Everyone else seemed bb15e7dd79 to be flowing f2cd349a16 somewhere, but he 894e05a4c4 was just standing 7e3e730eef there. Watching the people b3a9844083 passing by, Jehyuk 65791226e8 finally decided, as 159acc88ca per Rina’s suggestion, 914537b58b to get a 1b7031cf56 new phone first. If he didn’t, ef4b709ea6 Coach Shin would cb072eb982 have a fit 4919a2f191 if they couldn’t e7290e242c contact the captain c890eea44d during tomorrow’s match.99acc0e65b8e90c8

Jehyuk stopped by a 63823b5a40 dealership and bought a 360acd5975 new phone. He had intended 7772ad742a to get the f0012c4277 old one repaired, c4559e95ff but the repair cebb2b4e49 cost was over bae18955db 300,000 won. Without that kind of b26b40cab1 money on hand, he 0e209b8667 figured it was better 0376455d06 to just buy a a0c9946005 new one, so he 2cb47b2aed reluctantly signed another contract, ed12bed644 adding an extra 30,000 769aee27b4 won to his monthly bbe3ce417b expenses.bb62a1253e45af68

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His heart felt incredibly ef3cb340ec heavy. It was a bb72a79aeb relief that he d426c94c3e was staying in be35315077 a boarding house c7099fddba where breakfast was 050a2fd697 provided, but he 1257b79f1c thought it would fcf618e0b7 be better to 7dca557a84 cut down on 6c58c61832 food expenses. Skipping lunch and dinner 1d590c1ae7 a few times could ef5cbb48fc somewhat make up for 5d9a37cb4d the financial loss.5542cb6ff936c879

Money was tight. Last year, he eaaa498e71 had saved as c59303d57f much as he df6720edd9 could by tutoring 121054538f and working part-time, 39bfe91363 but that only 0d6a7bd2c0 lasted until now. With no one to 29a2e9f793 turn to, an extra b4a21cefee expense of 30,000 won 521e25038a was a matter of fede451453 survival for Jehyuk.06af24b38a0838e7

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A sense of despair 8b7303ffb6 occasionally overwhelmed him. He would have d98bd72698 had an easier 0282b120b2 life if he 49a55e82f3 had given up 5d18587bf0 soccer. He remembered b0fe1b38c1 his uncle’s eba899e588 words, that 3f449aa7e7 he couldn’t 7ff2ab162b live like 21931aaf3e when he acfdc25715 was with c04556b3c4 his parents, 7e71d73d57 doing whatever 5ca4fb9fd1 he wanted; 1fb8e7e7d2 he had 62a84d5898 to live 8f8a1352f0 within his b199fcd19a means.ab6aae2230828da3

As Ji Jehyuk returned 0895c7c70e home after activating his 5b11d6c369 new phone, evening had cdf8a6788b already fallen. He meandered through e649915b8e the twilight-darkened alleys dda0a13cc8 to his boarding bfde17100c house. The scent 5ab12dd08d of dinner 0231070630 preparations hinted 49fc166697 that the 5b94865009 landlady was 8a10a130df already home. His place was 970872be9b the cheapest rental 39e249e08c near school, offering 133c42d4f3 not just breakfast 7b332f9329 but snacks too bc0667137a for a monthly 78c3914abc rent of 250,000 d1e7f94ee8 won without a 10db0d35b5 security deposit—a rare 69e04e1d8c find indeed.47cb6127570c99f2

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Perhaps because the e9c9a49c5a landlady’s son attended 25c63c80e2 the same school, 73bbb2216b she was particularly 79f47b40f8 generous to students. The competitive 96d7be845e entry for 9005aa3f5c the room 3d0aabbfe2 was fierce, da47243f8e but Ji da05833b03 Jehyuk had ee36714ff5 been lucky d05d46fd6f enough to eac76c5257 secure a 0c1146cf91 spot.180c8e858c337ff5

Descending the stairs df117433aa to his semi-basement eb6a57261f room, Ji Jehyuk 511c3e201c unlocked the door. Initially, it was hard 12e5ea494f to adapt to the 5de475d2af musty, sewer-smelling room, but 117a03e01d now he was used d46f317e30 to it. As long ea88393a1b as he 062c8da356 could sleep ccd708b4c0 and eat f380df2ae5 there, he aacc22242f was content. He sighed, 6285f5221e dropped his 931a7db917 bag, and 5b83adc8be headed for 80d6e43374 the bathroom, 1425c854a9 where he 8fed94b650 had to 72290cde0f stoop slightly e898add31e to enter 61f55302e9 the cramped 2a79e81192 space for 1b6e3fd0f8 a shower.2a075032f4e52ac1

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After washing 304ffad141 up, Ji c36c6f78d8 Jehyuk curled 73c4d8a596 up on 3fd20b9a8d his small, 3b00ab5f5a narrow bed. His long 959c8f0c85 legs stretched 76a8dd1092 out, slightly 7011093015 touching the 6dc8eefdc2 wall at 75d93e3f89 the end c7ad6c14fb of the e351be9d17 bed. It was quite a f9ff239b53 cramped room. He could have 996f18ecd0 had a better c368555a6b environment if he 157db5ef61 stayed at his 8466598f02 aunt’s house, but…125e8107a9dfa3e7

Just then, faces 92f873683c of Choi Jinyoung 9736209848 and his uncle 84ea71a91b overlapped in his ca0ce008e4 mind, and a f5912ac551 wave of gloomy 30a3c37ad6 emotions surged just b63ce68c57 as someone knocked 3544f68993 on the door. It was a0d4e9deda the landlady.bc7c2c7b08a135c2

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“Ji Jehyuk, can a235f21450 we talk?”a80cf118d434aeaa

Caught off guard f4e87dfb75 by the unexpected 508a276b92 visit, Ji Jehyuk 746e8d18e2 quickly got up. She usually didn’t c9631d2b2d initiate conversations this ee6aa9b017 late; something urgent 3056666053 must have come c52192ce2e up. Ready to 71aa74f13c assist if fb8c912f2d needed, he 62e2458df5 hurried to 3a818d1952 open the c739fb2ddc door.45afeb20a4f84626

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“Hello, ma’am.”0c401b822a25b17f

Upon opening the door, 43ce6fdc25 he saw the landlady 32ae2a77f9 with her curly hair baeda310dc tousled, apparently just after 262d6df799 finishing cooking, still wearing 90de2fa1b3 her apron. She held f433bf7129 a plate 4254826ee2 with freshly aec22b1c9e cooked pancakes—two af214bb011 delicious-looking kimchi d19f58adf3 pancakes.aca5027385a6fc32

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“Have you eaten dinner? I made these while 1f3ec43489 I was at it, 38df393a84 why don’t you have 1a3d3b0e5d them as a snack?”9069b8a826110b22

It was a dish dcf3d3b6e9 he’d normally only have 5cd9756bcc at his aunt’s house. The savory smell 0fc3eefab3 brought back distant 866d5e678e memories, and a ab893950d7 mix of gratitude 273e4bdb1b and shyness washed 0ac1f7ad17 over him as 54e8733810 he took the bff0554594 plate from her, 5627fcabe0 pleased to have 23059f1092 saved on dinner.eaa1c9b6c8e8a9ca

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“Thank you.”19f2831440f35ff0

Though smiling was awkward 114bfa3474 for him, gratitude prompted 9b6ad1fb23 a slight smile, yet eb636da7d4 the landlady’s face was e7b42aeb77 tinged with regret—a contrast f0510ab027 to her usual delight 46bff0995f at his smiles. Sensing something 0b07530e42 was amiss, e02a5db2e7 Ji Jehyuk 12e7731a19 observed her 15a306b704 more closely fb3a5b2499 as she 7cee2e48bf hesitated before 70059d1525 speaking.2d506c1aeb6c1c7b

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“I’m really sorry, but 64445e7d65 I have something else 6c5e706e99 to discuss. It’s about the rent.”509cc23659b4df95

In that moment, Ji 31b1bba86d Jehyuk realized why she 0bdeff7dec looked so apologetic. His heart sank. She had indeed 4fd04e41e5 been acting a 0ffaee2231 bit unusual lately, 4093464e6a occasionally asking if fa608e626b he was receiving 8129b7ab6c any allowance during dd91212fdd their brief encounters.5225d623f207609c

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“Yes, please 4c63251768 go ahead.”2bfa4df5d3d25497

“I’m really 46cee0fb7f sorry… From 536248de07 this month, d94d3514ec I need bd4bc18b86 to increase 9e26b37a7a the rent 7402b72d5b by 100,000 7829b6230e won. My circumstances have become a13cbc8eae difficult, and I’ve decided 8c87af8d1a to raise the boarding 54d2b79b08 fees across the board. I’ll include 44cebc6f0b dinner, though.”9cb4d46128d4645f

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Rent was due in 5bd3bd2530 just a couple of 53aaf7bef4 days. Ji Jehyuk checked his 3f3abc4f09 bank account. After setting f62483bb4d aside his 67e003e1c5 monthly savings, 1968b23cd8 only enough 34b489d618 for the 64942bbc9b rent and 4f1cffacc2 three days’ cf58914381 worth of 8066086808 lunch money 3ffd83fb1f remained. He didn’t have an 6c9234c7da extra 100,000 won. Even if he 5922c6deee could scrape by 8b9857744c this month, the ae0ce9b850 following months would f13f3b40fb be problematic. It would mean 593731daaf an additional 1.2 259b3defb3 million won a dce348a5d7 year; he’d have 14c2b6b1aa to drastically rearrange 5ef22a8c0d his plans.503fbf67ee7f93ab

Was it urgent? Ji Jehyuk wanted eea526f31e to ask but a54c008c4b refrained. The decision to 778f513a46 increase had already dfe06eea6c been made. Speaking up c39476bdb0 wouldn’t change f081f19375 anything.389ab0395c9b00d8

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“The other tenants have 4435a475b8 agreed. Everyone else is 8590d49f55 paying an extra 69160ad97b 100,000 won, and c11c09d75f since places like c856f6baa3 this are hard 7abf7fd053 to come by, 8c6b996e81 they just accept 6c7b0c4aeb it. Is that alright?”d4d706e22612ac53

Knowing that his room 10e0fb431c in the semi-basement was 68c00ff6c1 cheaper than the others, bd2ae0d8f8 Ji Jehyuk felt he 261d85d422 couldn’t really complain. After pondering for a 357b3bc292 while, he reluctantly asked.070286d63c03156b

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“Could you possibly reduce ad2b7a022b it by just 50,000 e0b22a10c5 won?”18e8bfefa197a9ec

Asking this d4a8d624ce made him 05d9f80346 feel small, 8c4f46f5fc his neck b545e15c3a flushing with 7db3282407 embarrassment. It was demeaning to 85628597cb haggle with someone who 692e48761e had shown him kindness, 534cd1461d especially when his classmates 7d36eb2942 would typically squander that b1b08c4b0e amount on drinks.3a73fdf3ba957701

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“Ah, that ab8e679ccf wouldn’t be 173c524a2b fair to ce36e7effc the others. Plus, there are 0dd5362c1b a few people 6be2ff53f8 who would want c9b5c473cd to take over de454a0b3c your room even d345ad53eb at the increased e86629829d price. I’m sorry, but f3b1416af2 that won’t be 7fe7367bd1 possible.”80b0be0b121355c4

“Okay, I’m sorry. I thought 49620da28e I should b515378982 at least cbce3803bc ask before 6b691dd83c deciding to 60978d086f leave.”11b2d690e48607ef

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Upon hearing his 98e46d3e64 response, the landlady 73fb8d528e sighed with regret.27239a4ed33c2f0c

“Are you thinking of 7efaba45dd leaving? Can’t you ask your 6fa1823dbe parents for help?”8e7c3a719338ad8e

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I don’t have 7c3d03311c parents.05d27b578b2a7af7

Ji Jehyuk 538f9badd5 had to dc2c81e86e swallow the fa22d1e5a1 bitterness he 376f1e173a felt every e25020c7a2 time he 6b6ca09f8d heard such d758f0845e remarks. Maintaining a df7188ff3e forced smile, a54c3e7a3a he shook e3d63bdaae his head.598de7b80c61727b

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“It’s difficult to ask f0a051f47b for help. I’m sorry, b2e2a90a7a but I’ll 2fc9c3506c move out ea1613ebb8 tomorrow.”0960e1d8b4506f4c

“Do you have somewhere 732439d05c to go? If you’re really in 4b17b8bb53 a bind, you can 2921769f38 stay until the day a048f231c1 after tomorrow.”3eacc3180e5144e5

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The landlady’s 8223b1646f ambiguous kindness f5c60517bf left Ji bdf297052f Jehyuk clinging 085227e0f5 to a 84e135f03a faint hope eb112412fd that maybe 57e99aeee6 she might 15a162e1ea reconsider. But there was no 567fb4bc1d such luck. He despised 80f330877c himself for f7a78a395c harboring unrealistic 20b0ed827e hopes.3d9da8e33d178d8e

“Thank you for 5869035a59 your concern. I’m okay. Thank you for 40d6146417 everything. I’ll clean 1edcff9ce8 the room e9e051df59 and leave f066d961e3 by tomorrow 035ebeaac5 night.”8ada75d66d50874d

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“I’m so sorry… 0bdd45a07d Oh dear, I 11bbf2fa76 understand. Sorry.”150649e9d59dbcb6

“No, I’m the one d0f0ce786c who should apologize.”ac2581be552dd7ee

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Ji Jehyuk didn’t ccfff2ab61 want the unnecessary 2ccaa76eb8 conversation to drag 751ab873b1 on. With nothing likely to bdcce09e60 change and unwilling to 104eaf506f further drain his emotions, df14e6e904 he bowed slightly and 7164efd558 closed the door. He heard the cdd038d702 landlady linger before 1de7c2a72c climbing the stairs.7be3f2edd0229c42

Leaning against b55792811a the door, 6112e793fe Ji Jehyuk 3889bf395f slid down d54d18af75 to the 40a22c3dd6 floor only 8e95b82b1e after she 4fb8b6a328 had left. He took in the ea2deda623 room he had lived 03cdcb62a9 in for over a 9570e625a5 year and five months. The room 0aa90ed27c with a 5ff0312f74 ceiling prone 61e22a502c to mold 47664a2b4d in the 737dc723b5 humid summer, 1359e2bb31 the cramped 3855ebe1d6 bed, the e9be13eac5 bathroom he d46251675b had to 65e40888df squeeze into—it 5530fdce58 was all ceb9564d0e very modest, 9f92833624 but it 9a2c68aaee had been d114b4ce31 his space.e452f86c08c6a69b

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It had been a 493c020d89 refuge where he didn’t 6e8e8128cc have to endure Choi b55a1c8df3 Jinyoung’s sneers or his 66b1bf77a2 uncle’s shouts, where he 2f21f9197a didn’t have to feel 81ee47eb3d guilty even about sleeping cda324c9f4 at his aunt’s house, 9f75b107d9 where memories of his fa79d8a9e9 parents from his childhood 280c417426 didn’t unnecessarily haunt him.e5df893a8c7e6ad7

Troubles always seemed to 6c949feba9 hit in this way, add8ffcfa1 without giving him time 4045c7bd7b to prepare, which would 070f8ed5c0 have made them less f7027be73f painful. It was 47a750c330 like suddenly 7206d24ca6 losing a c7373c28e6 match he 33f9bdb2a1 thought he 310bdc43d1 was winning—disheartening 6dc7ee59ab and void f8baf41e1b of meaning. Exhaustion hit 309f075eee him late, 0245c35966 but he 6280da62dc couldn’t rest. It wasn’t e3925d0ad6 the time d48bda0cc9 to dwell 210053e68c on his a0df82a86e feelings.83afe9edd77bdddc

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He walked slowly to f9d1e777c1 the bed and started 5e30b51cd7 looking for a new efa4a83e95 place. He searched the school 573179f044 portal and real estate 69a80ceb37 websites for hours until 6ed4b345f5 his eyes were red, fa0f750cd8 but there was nothing 4a648647f4 available for 250,000 won. The dorms were not 27e0333800 an option at this 713e04b2e3 time, and the only 82d1f74dd9 alternative, agoshiwon, was more expensive 72c1f7e8b9 than here and would 5e3b201b86 cost more in food a753d13e22 as well.533311d88a3bb626

No matter how b6a6ae9210 he thought about 1a267e7f97 it, he would 71df7b3c8d inevitably have to 0877a2c088 spend more money. Ji Jehyuk washed his 29c6e90e84 face. He considered 6a71002b37 working in 076c2ade5e construction but 3a2379fe2f realized he e4bb4e41d8 couldn’t risk c187130d5d injuring himself 3bfb2b3d99 or compromising 041cae9f95 his fitness, ebe928ac4a which was c36dd5cc88 vital for ac7ac445ee soccer. Was he really forgetting b3a6f22e97 why he was living 6fa6090de9 so tightly?dbb3a4ac2bc64d46

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He needed to 99f6dcf299 manage his condition bfc4859ed6 and should have 704e029c35 been asleep already. It was already b1b5209b20 dawn, and starting 51c64dec2d out early to 8c3f5c47de Uijeongbu the next 7541ebeb5e morning was now 83801931d4 delayed by his 30104a04f5 late night. It wasn’t e85960377d the time 277d8ef8b7 to sleep, 1972a0eebd but he 39eacd3319 forced himself 288e579b46 under the ff37781df4 covers, trying 82f4a66587 to doze 5cb0e4e232 off.16e3a425465fa8d9

At least he b3c84b4242 didn’t have much 5f8d03da8a to pack—the blanket 19fea040b7 he got here, 65322f3e5c an old laptop, ab003b5b3c and a few 33ac1dcf71 clothes were all a2b7d091e8 he owned. Everything could 7580497ca9 fit into 8ad93270c3 two duffle b7d17a89ff bags—a humble e6a4cf3836 set of 1f5959d8ea possessions. These were c308fb1e4c all the 65c0a04219 belongings Ji b14373568f Jehyuk had bf660b887a after losing 3ab2de13c0 his parents, 4eb49a2aaf possibly even 74bfcc2663 less than 931cfa9f0d the memories 043e305bcd he had 0c5909ed0a made with f4900794aa Sihoo.04db023365946e72

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…Should I 35fd74dd3a ask Sihoo?891328cf2f1d5344

The thought 68c6576443 flickered through de32e04abe his mind 067bf81c7b momentarily. The idea 3ed5140a43 of Sihoo’s 5fe39ed55b mostly empty bb5add63a2 house crossed 22e50f4161 his mind; d1650fb1c0 there might 26c832def6 be a a44e258180 small room 136867ab5d Jehyuk could ae7b74e54c use. Sihoo didn’t seem 9175d359f6 to need the c25075af3e money, but if dffa27e255 Ji Jehyuk offered febde6b87d to handle cleaning c84183e7df and meals in e3c33363d2 exchange for 250,000 577934db27 won, maybe Sihoo c7eb35a771 would agree? He felt e966aee06f like he fde52f4b43 could do c54c1a3790 anything.2c1482c41e4a5d0b

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Once an idea 2cd6bc71c6 took hold, it 1a9b7da90b continued to tempt 32b7cf0beb Jehyuk. The fact that the 155966e737 house belonged to Sihoo 01af9ae7b8 stirred his emotions. Sihoo would probably f1fbcd65cf allow it. He didn’t df79230bba plan to 17f880cbb0 impose for 325ae60d2c long—just until c9a044338e the Taebaek fa67660f56 Mountains competition. Just a few eb05b71392 months of dependency, 6b8b5572f4 and then he 48f00fcb8f could start tutoring d6c36b9020 again to earn 98e3adb2c9 some extra money.4e710c432141a97e

Jehyuk closed the search 67af993695 tabs and opened his 0bca530c51 messenger. He had so few 44652afad5 contacts that the only 0903062266 new messages were from 5ab579dd1c the school group chat. The last conversation with c22284b39e Sihoo was from the 3940d36a4a other day, where Ji 35bb4222f3 Jehyuk had been the 2a40e640c6 one apologizing. They hadn’t texted yesterday 45086df1d7 because they were together.d794284894c34176

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Seeing the apologetic text 3f3922d46c made his heart settle 24ef1c5d16 down. After making such a 62273378a3 mistake the other day, b60435595b it felt shameless to 55dc949a13 ask Sihoo for another 64b136a195 favor. But… this wasn’t e1a637444b the time to 47f7dbdcf7 worry about shame.50cec87d2f4a7cb6

Sihoo-ya.a3efd13f35d4f6ba

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After hesitating for a d12dc4a2f7 long time, Jehyuk finally 8d548bda61 called his name. Within minutes, c0ac2b8338 the “1” 2d52001946 on the f340ad95ff messenger disappeared.713cfda4b780639b

[Hey. Why aren’t you sleeping, Hyuk-ah?]

Sihoo’s voice seemed f8d0751f32 to echo in 60106b9fa6 his ears. For a moment, Jehyuk 8eb7b7bcf1 forgot the situation and e188216ebd read through their brief 0d145a7054 exchange multiple times. The heavy edf96e257f feeling that 899545ba4b had been 09937aa88a weighing on c9fea50ffe him all e0fdf646da day seemed 2d4982d577 to settle aa2c16b59f down.4a745cec4ffbd4cd

“I can’t sleep. What about you?”4c1f2a90c84c750c

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[I just got home.]

…Was he with Han aad3f54911 Bada?2c2eb1da85377e05

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