EMP Chapter 31

Kwon Jiwook 5f8f65c79d suddenly woke 221acadde7 up from 7675ac763c his sleep. He remembered finishing the 83502ca1ee day with his ass 4bb7545e91 being pounded, which often d91207bed3 led to a deep, 9771e6c88f unconscious sleep until morning c6ab1f4bf0 on such days. Struggling with his hazy 7926c958a3 memory, he barely managed 4574bcbd65 to keep his consciousness 9d85ad5247 from slipping back into 7ecf3b3492 slumber. Lifting his heavy eyelids, 911e7931bc he saw the faintly b714946f1f blue-lit room.ca61f481189fdc70

The spacious master bedroom where dawn light entered was where Kwon Jiwook had spent most of his time recently. It had been quite a while since he moved into this room—maybe two years already? On Kwon Jiwook’s birthday (which he didn’t even know was his birthday), Park Juyeon, for some unknown reason, suggested they share a room. Caught off guard, Kwon Jiwook nodded awkwardly, and he remembered Park Juyeon looking visibly embarrassed.823cbe2ce291663f

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When asked 43eb6b93c2 later why f44c5802c0 he was 0ab420cabc so shy 6ef16c397f about it, 94cd8a4f7b Park Juyeon 863d3cf470 cheekily retorted b4d7a6a519 that starting 24ce17afda and ending 8c404fad6b the day b643c65624 together felt 3888acd048 like being b183522b3a a newlywed 5e92a22e9c couple. Kwon Jiwook had no ae23d73e5a choice but to keep deae0d2c39 quiet.7ac7a5132a190a88

For that reason, they shared the same room. No need to worry about nightmares, and being together all the time made him feel less anxious. It was probably Park Juyeon’s way of celebrating his birthday.3914576bf0907e38

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“…”0f4a3917332ac731

Seeing the daylight in 9ce4ce1770 such a winter morning, 9cf8907472 it must be early d6ed0f6f1b morning at least. Kwon Jiwook, contemplating 57ac53a5b5 whether to go 073d77fe18 back to sleep, 6ca1bff9a5 turned his head 09ee08fa08 to the side. He wanted fa071c2740 to take 80803c39a4 a look 1ccadc9a23 at Park 7c553c757a Juyeon since 240ae897e6 he was 3194ffba56 up early.6214ab3819605a9c

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“…?”c8a4ddaa2b9fd619

The spot where 9e99c58268 Park Juyeon should 8ba95f2018 have been was a17ae6c207 empty. Feeling the warmth 7a0472e1b5 on the crumpled fe16e83316 sheet, Kwon Jiwook 2ce9a0d81b stared blankly at 130175a0f2 the vacancy with 9a9f731bf2 his still-sleepy eyes, 98acb8ea87 then slowly rolled 614b0a94c7 over to fill 45f4794f4f the space. Soon after, he 6f1c9a4c00 sat up, perching ead07cbdaf on the edge acae421f80 of the bed.497dbe24ca3889f0

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Kwon Jiwook no longer entertained bizarre thoughts like someone installing a CCTV or breaking in to assault him, so even if one side of the bed was suddenly empty now, he didn’t panic or get scared. …Though that didn’t mean he was completely unafraid.d1a230a029294de6

Sitting there with his still-dazed face, he heard a soft conversation from the living room. It wasn’t an auditory hallucination; it was Park Juyeon’s real voice.2ff0ef8af29f9ede

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“…Yes. …I’m doing some job hunting… like that…”7cc0774878af4197

“…”c56cf809e38521e8

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“It’s okay. Instead… I want to settle down and live comfortably…”44c2dc935f07a314

Though he could hear bits of the conversation, he couldn’t grasp the context. Park Juyeon was speaking in such a low voice, either out of consideration for Kwon Jiwook sleeping or for the neighbors who endured their animal-like moans daily.e66cc343137f2da3

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What could 32165082f7 it be be4b97c550 about? With his eyes adjusted 8cbbb972d7 to the dim light, 114ef6fb1a Kwon Jiwook looked at 38ac8f7be4 the clock on the 703ad48930 wall. 6 AM. An ambiguous 27615148e3 time, like b6977f9cab dawn for 04f9473ea9 unemployed people 391e6779c2 like him. Park Juyeon 7d006cca96 was still 6de585488f talking to 7d8a361914 someone. It seemed f4788fbe51 like the 1ef3406918 call would 914240837a take some 4f8627e75d time.08a7fe91f97243eb

Not yet able to relax enough to fall asleep again, Kwon Jiwook eventually dozed off at Park Juyeon’s spot until he returned to the room.235f48cd4b637fa3

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Park Juyeon chewed on warm toast while staring intently at Kwon Jiwook. Even though his hatred had faded, his deep, unfathomable pupils remained the same, making Kwon Jiwook still feel uncomfortable under his gaze. Just when he was getting restless, Park Juyeon’s elegant lips parted.7298c65a6ee5e9c4

“Did you wake up for a bit in the morning?”2c33c1d49321d075

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“Huh?”7c36d20ed7026217

“You were dozing off while sitting on the bed. Did something happen?”0c68d8c36b2dfd7d

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Was he staring at 6a497d32fe him just to ask 011d266607 that? There was 51cbd0635a no memory b5bc5bc32c of doing c7512e64a1 anything wrong. Kwon Jiwook felt 149aed70be relieved inside as 0b62d03874 he cut into 8bc94b9757 his fried egg 6cb540298b with chopsticks. When there 61b5a59368 was no 7acdaa6f33 answer, Park 5ed68934b8 Juyeon added,f1c06bf0e75bbd9d

“When I came in, you were almost asleep in my spot.”75c06ca10e24dd8a

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“Did I do that? You never said I had sleepwalking habits.”2c8d209c094bb05f

“You were sleeping after sitting on the bed and then falling over to the side.”1f62bffb91613ab9

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“I don’t remember that…”ec824640286d8052

“…”4b1742e9655cc532

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Suddenly, Park Juyeon’s face turned pale. He placed his white hand over Kwon Jiwook’s hand holding the chopsticks and asked seriously,9cdeea55ab4c72c1

“…What is it this time? Let me prepare my heart in advance.”cf433d6bcdf777a0

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“…”6093f402d8fac984

“Perhaps… sleepwalking?”f5a04f95aa6f8e18

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“Yah.”06141a9fa992e0a0

As Kwon e73fb91b7c Jiwook tensed 174473f168 his jaw fd1e113aba in annoyance, 1cdfa3e838 Park Juyeon 043866a5b2 quickly added,afb95dfeaa1de7f9

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“No, I’m not joking. Seriously.”ae197e35ce15c1d9

“No. No! Fuck, no!”0f1b83df7d3bb5a8

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“Oh, okay. If it’s not, then it’s not. Why are you swearing?”58be779e187abe1b

They had been to the psychiatrist several times at Park Juyeon’s insistence. But being misunderstood as having another mental illness on top of the diagnosed one was something Kwon Jiwook did not want. After a playful tug-of-war, Park Juyeon chuckled and ruffled Kwon Jiwook’s already messy hair into a complete disarray.977104d70f20c9ad

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He’s treating me like a mental patient… Kwon Jiwook pouted while poking at his Vienna sausage. But thinking about it, he might have been waiting for Park Juyeon in that half-asleep state.f19bf152d8083426

“Oh, now that I think about it, I heard you talking on the phone outside this morning, so I thought about going out…”b8178e5519633738

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“And then?”9312e39b7f662cf7

“I fell asleep again.”fb86d45d70a6df26

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“You fell asleep again?”ca9c54c3e5a77d0f

“Yeah.”67ec7e1d69b7faef

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“Ah, I see.”7a07597115815854

As Park Juyeon blinked, f03fdb77e8 his long eyelashes fluttered. He seemed like 409cee7671 he wanted to 5966395b65 say more but f0595bcc85 stuffed the remaining 86a0fbd887 toast into his bf31829abf mouth and closed 4cc5e968eb it.905a87b9d5c9d2cb

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To think he managed to stay in that spot even after realizing Park Juyeon’s sudden absence; there was hope in the gradual improvement of Kwon Jiwook’s mental health over the past few years. However, there was also a sense of disappointment, and Park Juyeon’s mind momentarily entertained the thought—what if Kwon Jiwook completely recovered and they went back to how things were, wasting all the time and money spent?7a03cf6dc2ad825c

Maybe sensing his 0fa0a91ce8 mixed feelings, Kwon 980565a142 Jiwook mumbled,0d1a34ad02d88e5b

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“You weren’t going anywhere anyway.”5fc40b074a6eb4cf

“How could you be so sure I wouldn’t leave you behind?”6fc0092615afa99c

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“…”e14e1fda96f9cf31

Even as a jest, he didn’t want to hear such words, but the one in front of him wasn’t the type to listen when told not to say something. Kwon Jiwook kept his gaze on his plate, giving a vague answer.6e0cd7cd494de067

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“I don’t know. I just felt that way.”0025576509bfaee3

“Wow, you’re really stupid.”3f0d5a9577301f53

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“What do you want me to do?”01524c5251e3e31e

“Now you’re even talking back.”d11d080d9c1efcb2

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“I’m not.”0a8b695eb550e2e3

“Oh? What’s this, talking back?”33951fee9cf04e2d

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Park Juyeon sucked in air between his teeth warningly, then tugged at a few strands of Kwon Jiwook’s bangs with his thumb and index finger. Kwon Jiwook winced and let out a small groan.e60212b19e743a70

“Ah. Yah, even dogs don’t bother you when you’re eating.”00ba494f99d2c5c3

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“I want to bother you.”268ecc1f9dded55a

Park Juyeon’s pretty eyes and the corners of his mouth curved into a playful smile.465e9f19d3d389ab

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At twenty-six, the quiet 68a79ba64e before the storm had 217a2f55ce dissipated from him. The dangerous intensity 22bb563a54 that seemed like be5cf16443 he would do 351e929dd1 something big had 571bf9cfbb mellowed into a 7c4bed3947 mix of relaxation d6db194a45 and cheerfulness. Park Juyeon, 0cce14c251 who had 36b33ee741 gained some dd75c584ba composure, seemed 9befb7df79 much more 42d016098e mature compared 352df0428c to Kwon ee9c72f13e Jiwook, who fd71338a2f was still 1fa8e7e509 stuck in 67c00fdcc0 his place.2e0718b699720ec8

Suddenly, his injured nipple stung as it brushed against his t-shirt. His personality had become gentler, but was his habit of getting violent during sex something that couldn’t be fixed? Kwon Jiwook naturally ignored his conditioned sexual response and just thought about silly things.dd0741a88849cf56

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“…”fa1c7660c57bded9

Come to think of it, it’s been five years already.1e72395583a5acbd

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Park Juyeon’s life graph was on an upward trend. Given his ups and downs, there would always be fluctuations, but today’s sensitivity was less than a few months ago, and even a few months ago, it was less sharp than before. In short, his lows were getting higher. This was something Kwon Jiwook naturally learned since he had been focusing most of his attention on Park Juyeon.18476d6ce6556e35

Since taking on the massive burden of Kwon Jiwook’s life, he had seemed to give up on everything, but now, at least on the outside, he was acting like a completely normal person.a97adecf8d859162

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“I’m graduating today.”81c0a0e18e93aca6

“What?”91e97aaad65b9ac2

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Surprised by the 8cf49d7c3a unexpected announcement, Kwon 0650bf5347 Jiwook responded abruptly.f2f62349732a6c57

“Then take me with you.”b87d91d83846eaee

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“What for? It’s just a graduation ceremony. I’ll just go and get my diploma.”ceed1a48c8e06cab

“Isn’t there stuff like throwing hats at a graduation ceremony? And drinking… Huh? You’re just going to get your diploma?”8d43e0a412044352

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Park Juyeon 37a6dfee35 looked at 44565051b8 Kwon Jiwook, 2afd210748 who had ed81bb55f2 a dumbfounded 9fc94a69b8 expression, with bc610f4450 a look 5ab145c273 of disdain.ac02be8b57bcea6d

“What’s with the talk of drinking in your situation? Are you the one graduating? Or do you just want to use it as an excuse to drink?”be7c8e6fba795d4c

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“No…”047d2f5b4f175f8d

“Besides, with whom? …Don’t tell me you’re in contact with someone? You’re supposed to tell me about all your contacts, even now. You seem to have gotten a bit lax lately. Don’t tell me you are, bro?”1b04b86b09a495fd

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“Yah, Juyeon, I don’t have anyone to contact, and besides, everyone else has already graduated…”ac00c476e64de815

“Oh, so because I seem to be letting you off the hook a bit, you’re thinking of sneaking out?”baaf3e48590a0468

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“No, fuck. Let me speak!”8dd851f0e88a40d3

Kwon Jiwook’s voice rose in response to Park Juyeon’s sharp and annoying remarks.1c9238c0c9230e04

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“Yah, while living with you, all I’ve done is crawl like a dog. Have I ever sucked another guy’s dick or done anything? I was just asking if they do that at graduations, not that I want to do it! Fuck, I even don’t want to!”939f359f2c6c9c37

“…”0c29788c7b91b2c2

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“…”89cbcb2f14cf6b72

“Ah…”0fab5eed405a817c

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Even though Park Juyeon had matured, he was still Park Juyeon. As a look of displeasure slowly spread across his pretty face, Kwon Jiwook’s heart sank slightly.9743cc133e7d8e57

“No, so don’t misunderstand, okay?”bf06c4cda81d1979

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“…”7cdda59f6485e91e

There was a long exchange of looks. After a silent battle with the now gloomy beauty, Kwon Jiwook’s energy drained away, and he quietly lowered his tail, nodding.5103deee6eb3030a

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“…Yeah, sorry. I was wrong. Do you want to hit me with a fist or an open hand?”c1eb98406d60798c

“Forget it. Have you finished eating? I’ll clean up.”f8523bdac9a278ad

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“Yeah.”7722c4ad204f00ee

As Park Juyeon moved the empty dishes one by one, he glanced at Kwon Jiwook’s drooping head. Despite the loud voice, the content was somewhat pleasing.dab53c7cc383832f

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By the way, dec0a0963f graduation ceremonies are 54b36ad482 supposed to be 21a5d8cda7 boring, right? Tapping his finger a38417ffe8 beside the sink, 9c63efea0b Park Juyeon eventually 544a6c6ac3 sighed and gave f3e1726b86 in.c7a57990a9548c5f

“I really can’t understand what’s going on in your head. Why get so worked up over this… right?”83f271321373497b

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“That’s… because you misunderstood first. I really don’t plan to do anything with anyone else.”de0f3e2c54666b73

“I get it, so go get dressed.”adb3aa79d77f67ac

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“Huh?”103561e0da6267d6

“You look like a kid who didn’t get a birthday present; it’s making me feel sad. I’ll take you with me, so get dressed.”50fe282b91cc700b

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“Oh, oh. Yeah. Got it.”f9033dc2fa40d666

Park Juyeon 8cd0b75253 turned away 6ac9d0f1a9 casually to 34950f9911 finish cleaning 70add8cd25 the table. Surprised by the unexpected 40b8bd94aa response, Kwon Jiwook stared 0fbdcf3a83 at his back before 063d45268f heading to the dressing 4a3dc2f3d9 room.1391e5cfbe2d3aba

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Given his current situation, Kwon Jiwook was amazed by Park Juyeon, who had finished university life without a single complaint. He was even the valedictorian. Therefore, Kwon Jiwook believed that ‘graduation’ held significant meaning for Park Juyeon after four years of hard work, and if something was important in his life, he wanted to experience it together.afb86e3b37afbe31

Perhaps rather than being excited about the graduation ceremony itself, this reason might have been more significant. Kwon Jiwook had been with him even during the negative events of Park Juyeon’s childhood, even if he was the cause of them.c99401f48cdcc9f4

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“…”800502e364203a4d

Something important in f00da86183 life.23cf667f3f1da7b6

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Kwon Jiwook fell 62e9b606ac into thought for 6b77cfc5b3 a moment. The ideal life d2924990b2 cycle he imagined 2fd20fec15 was similar to fc301ac201 the conventional developmental 46b055ac6a tasks the older c3d6e90b73 generation in Korea b24747f28b desired. Even if cb47ed5fdc he ended cbf0220506 up like 05aa08d92f this, it fa8f1a0889 was uncertain 784091c6a3 how long ed3dbbbac1 Park Juyeon, dde2e7151a who had f0a4dfb6e4 money and b14d68515b decent interpersonal 0ce0121bf3 relationships, would 088d30c75f live like 29807ca11f this.f8445a787880fed5

After graduation comes employment, after employment comes marriage. Eventually, Park Juyeon would start walking down the conventional path that everyone has paved, starting with university graduation. Even if not that path, Park Juyeon’s family would not want to see their well-raised son entangled with a dark man like him in such a perverse way.6a8768b42549f7ed

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Every time he felt the distortion of Park Juyeon’s life due to him, guilt would come. However, Kwon Jiwook had no intention of letting him go. Without Park Juyeon, he would surely revert to days trembling in fear, barely able to breathe. For Park Juyeon… well, he didn’t know what he meant to him.ff954bf49e63a7c0

“Fuck, since when did I start living with such thoughts.”e1ab978d248ba0c3

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He hated complexity, but since they started living together…f30385dcfa57cd22

Less than five seconds after muttering this aloud, he was thinking about Park Juyeon again. Don’t think. Just don’t think about it, you bastard. Let’s not live complicated lives.48ce288cd881c72a

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Kwon Jiwook hit f2e73b7562 his head hard e2fd30ffc2 and then, choosing 6fd5162704 a black turtleneck, ff329ed767 jeans, and a 9f428c73a6 suede jacket instead 7b42db6b25 of a choker, c0a8e9b361 he composed his fbf2181d00 expression before leaving 9348a0ac68 the room. Park Juyeon, who ce15ab801a had finished the 4d5100804a dishes, was waiting 7074d7d822 with arms crossed e1bd679c98 at the door.ad71fda2d914bd2f

“What were you doing in there? I heard a thud.”dc25fc3c510407b4

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“…Nothing. I got dressed.”3baf22b9c9566f78

“Really?”a83906150f62bba1

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Seeming to 9c3b390394 think Kwon 7c063eb66b Jiwook was e4ee3c1ba0 acting strange 9a09116f4c today, Park d59a629486 Juyeon entered 4b0c660d2a the dressing 0f1ccb8fe1 room with 6266112a93 a puzzled 208656b42b look.b119e6308653de0b

He came out quickly, 1813c5e840 wearing a hoodie and 7dbdb42e79 a coat, looking both d88ed63456 like a university student d8f39794fb and cute. In his casual, cozy 1871cd3764 appearance, Kwon Jiwook bit 1593222327 his lower lip, staring d55b457dff at him. Despite his fists and cde614f803 mouth of terror, wrapped d94a308d12 up like this, he 8dd1c1638a looked cute.df1d0c6bb71a92c9

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When their 3b5bf155ec eyes met, e1a94937ab Park Juyeon eecee868d0 raised an cfaeb8502b eyebrow and f37d327bb6 nodded towards 0030b9d8de the door.ff0bc808c2f65363

“If you’re dressed, let’s go. Stop staring like that.”ef5ee22afa5d3591

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“How was I staring?”2bf77f90f4376e3e

“Like you’re dying to fuck me.”afa04ace7d699b8f

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“…”dd1920fb81287ab2

“Not that? Hmm… Maybe the look of wanting to fuck in the lecture hall for the first time in a while?”4f2853d7518c1aa3

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“What’s the difference between the two?”e23d1e193dfe3d1d

“It’s the difference between ‘right now’ and ‘later.'”c82a801397b82264

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To be 1eb6bd1618 honest, since d0f631654f they had 5f00780c1a had sex d2f1820b70 at the d27e51e050 university before, d5468fd312 just imagining 44fb6e1fbc it made 5f858ce150 his lower 84ab6cd2bc abdomen tingle. Just before blood rushed 2e158a7204 to his groin, Kwon a1a3b1045f Jiwook quickly composed his 1f5a30f3dc facial muscles and headed ff5a75f60c to the entrance. Park Juyeon followed with ae0aa05663 a relaxed smile.bf8c47aef2566c97

They got 77d73542d9 into the b930bcafcb car and 0b0742831e headed to 2197cb24c5 the school, e0dc192909 familiar with 17330de5c6 the routine. This winter was 90dad9ecd5 unusually warm, with 3787e38468 little snow, but bc0609166b now the sky 426f0212c2 was dumping snow 5ae100e6d3 as if to ade0876920 make up for acf67af202 it.3bb7c2ad23a6f6ce

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Kwon Jiwook leaned his 07fd33f800 head against the car 41e792e336 window, glancing at Park f75766af0d Juyeon. He was handling e4a307fc00 the steering wheel 5d970d78a6 as gracefully as 4416fd3e98 his face, only 5432ad15dc slightly frowning his 3cb2c8dcb4 brows and nose f7fcd38a48 bridge when someone 731bae6ce9 performed a flashy d64340f7b0 maneuver. Unless something special happened, 87ae77667e his reactions were calm 5bac6a0063 and without a single f2ca57235c curse word, even in f331166ae1 driving, very much like 49b37eb067 Park Juyeon.08882188dc56c1ad

“Why?”071ae8a6517d5c1b

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“Huh?”0a8e149374f54d71

“Why are you looking at me so weirdly? Want to have car sex?”b5933ac0cd329a3d

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“Are you crazy…?”fec5183a1e323ab9

Kwon Jiwook chuckled and leaned his head back against the window. The mention of car sex reminded him of the handcuffs they had left on the car’s ceiling handle because it was too bothersome to remove. Glancing back at the backseat, there they were. When they hit a red light, Park Juyeon laughed, seeing Kwon Jiwook’s red ears close by.1c2b93b9f0ea45ac

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“Just wait a little. After I get my diploma, I’ll do whatever you want.”1904bb59407ab28b

“What, what do you mean by whatever I want?”91c171632713d5a9

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Kwon Jiwook straightened his posture and kneaded the stiff nape of his neck. More than that, he was curious why Park Juyeon, who didn’t seem particularly interested in the graduation ceremony, insisted on attending to get his diploma.a8ed29e6debfcc29

“…Anyway. But do you really need the diploma? Honestly, it’s not even useful.”d50e37f1af62c5e1

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“Not useful? It’s for my future.”1f4757f3de78376d

In reality, university graduation ceremonies didn’t hold much prestige for the current generation, and diplomas could be received by mail. However, Park Juyeon stubbornly started the car, saying he didn’t want his home address revealed. Kwon Jiwook also disliked strangers, and Park Juyeon had become secretive about anything related to him for some time now.2a49e25570d2d6a2

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Do companies these days require a diploma rather than a certificate of graduation for submission? Kwon Jiwook had questions but didn’t know how to ask. As the light changed and Park Juyeon drove slightly faster than the speed limit, he opened up.e9075ede443aec11

“My father told me to bring the diploma.”6ce67e5288d62c93

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“Your father? Your dad?”359c267d15fb7887

“Yes. I was supposed to move back home when I turned twenty-six.”c48497dcfbaec10a

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“Uh…”3a2c32c78f76eac1

Kwon Jiwook couldn’t say anything. He stared blankly ahead with wide eyes, having heard an unexpected story. Only Park Juyeon was humming a tune in the silence.005a55a6bb45fc2c

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