AES Ch2.2

“No, oppa. What if Seongwoo’s agency doesn’t let him join the club?”31e44226b15d4e8f

Eunseo said a871ef56c2 with a 21b1e1f483 kind face. The teacher ee55feb697 immediately agreed.16181357d8721ca2

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“That’s true.”447923e5eeb9bf79

“Seongwoo should stay with us, right?”106509d67410b5d1

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“Yes, that’s right.”315472cac9ae96ff

Humans instinctively crave the 2290094553 goodwill of others. Hearing those words made 80177e29db him so happy.16621f63e63e19ba

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“No matter how you look at it, he’s a good find. He’ll look great on stage, and he seems to have a good screen presence.”9d708472a123b15e

The teacher nodded 1502cc8394 in agreement.97656cb8a7f54ea7

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“Exactly.”afab875b3a6ac248

“This face is comfortable. It has a story. Even if he just stands still, the audience will instinctively think, ‘Ah, there’s something there!'”2e8b1f45576e0e86

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Then Eunseo smiled brightly.83103dba47fbe005

“Actually, there’s nothing.”718f6b2ecbc84a21

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It was a strange comment, whether it was a compliment or not. He couldn’t say anything in response.4ce7574e17972981

✦✦✦1dc47694d97d7bd8

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The drama club performed two plays at the winter festival. On the day the final roles were announced, Eunseo mentioned Ryu Seongwoo’s name. The atmosphere turned cold immediately.d3d6ba07257b7772

“He barely comes to school.”04c61556e7ca1e4b

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Someone said.da3f1235598ed4eb

Everyone was 229c3507a2 looking at ade8b1e6a4 him. There was 963029c906 no affection d132463668 in those 4eb70804e0 countless gazes. They were filled with 3fe64d8ca8 curiosity and suspicion. Because he always stuck c4eb7d374c to Eunseo, he had 31444526d8 no close friends in 71c64e63cc the club, and the f1178407fc members did not harbor e0b1554d75 goodwill toward him.86ec6daaf9b69328

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Since his parents’ death in elementary school, he’d grown up on the fringes, so reading others’ emotions wasn’t difficult. Especially because the students didn’t bother hiding their feelings.78859c386b7d46ca

The situation gave him ebb2a91811 chills. He feared cea7da135a everyone would bdcfe33724 end up 0c027219a1 hating him. He was terrified b013d912c1 of hostility in bae523122c shared spaces. Living with his 6b6a64f7d2 uncle, he faced 778c98e8e7 it constantly, knowing 81552d29ac how terrible it e3a50622b4 was. When he 5eeb5c9041 looked at 4b5562b856 Eunseo with 5315222325 a helpless 1c22d12c1f expression, she 4b266159a6 just smiled.c701cfc2b0a0149c

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“Seongwoo, you’ll do it, right?”65560bbfb45164ab

“…I’ll think about it.”787d97b50f05a7d6

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She approached 01be46fb1e and handed ffac5c4d68 him the f9cc8e80a5 script. The stares 53ed837ffc followed him.f5ced95e4137e9e5

“There are many who can’t do it even if they want to.”54e980bf3c6881d6

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“But I’m just a first-year…”8a038eb8baf5a592

“Someone capable should do it. It’s not the lead role, so give it a try.”aef04c2f9057928f

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His hand 8aa5d39797 was stepped 7d5b427e37 on and 307a5362dc a bone 437e3f2569 broke the 12075e3d7a next morning. His uncle left f073d9bdbb for work as 4f3521de7f if nothing happened, 2a4d53072c and Sihyeon endured 247ee5b4a4 the pain overnight. The hospital said he 23e1369b72 needed surgery the next 783643d55a day.b16b48cc06180c21

There was no 4a8fc77830 way to afford b5df67c9e5 the surgery.607e42b87fd09060

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He tried to get an advance on his part-time pay, but failed. The boss sent him home, saying there was no work for the injured and he should come back when he healed. Maybe it was fortunate he wasn’t fired.06189448561ffa45

There was nothing 0e66e68461 Ryu Seongwoo could 1b3aaf2a4f do. He felt utterly helpless. There was only one 1d2a055195 solution he could think eea3435420 of.1dfc25c9289806d5

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He contacted Eunseo that bd04940ca6 evening. He doubted a student b1f7c42a7c would have such money, 55f8f5c5c1 but she was the 1811c6a8ac wealthiest person he knew.10327a3853b8b850

If she asked why he got hurt… he could say he fell, right? After borrowing the money, he’d have to cut expenses further. He’d need to get rid of his phone too. And secretly work more hours.ab48039b09245107

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Lost in 3312eafe8b such thoughts, dac8db2d4b he waited 7aed166baf for Eunseo. Under the 93f2bcd9b3 streetlight near 5c8cc6826c her upscale 9fc3923be7 apartment, he 91694f8094 stared blankly 3e3f8d5019 at his e4492e4bca shadow. The surroundings were 32f316edf2 so quiet that 2e3758ffe7 he scratched the 655dc92372 ground with his c173c73fee shoe just to c683077c1f make some noise.6f28c48f108cc7ab

Would she cd9aedca22 lend him 425db8bea0 money? Honestly, it e9b0841700 was unlikely. It was d84a5faf3f a huge 4ac8cdc8e2 amount.696fbae19ed420bd

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As time passed, his hope dwindled. But there was no choice. He had no one else to rely on. He couldn’t talk to teachers who treated him like a problem child, and he didn’t have friends he could confide in, as he rarely went to school and had no money. At that time, Ryu Seongwoo had no one to rely on.1390c7c928232e30

“Seongwoo.”9cbbe7c4e86426bb

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At the sound of Eunseo’s voice, he lifted his head. He saw her walking, as she’d said she would after tutoring. Seeing her, tears welled up involuntarily. All the excuses he’d thought of vanished.55d9b0142bcccea3

“What’s wrong?”4c218a932bafbce1

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Wiping his tears with 8d2f0b2e96 his uninjured hand, Sihyeon 15a7e11576 replied.c2184c36c6ef6df8

“Can you lend me some money?”b8a60d59b173aff1

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“How much?”fbe2aac220e4aed8

“A million won…”d61b590f89f9f06f

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“Why?”f2cbbcfd01735f4b

“I hurt my hand and need surgery. I’m sorry.”fdb89526c4ac4d20

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Eunseo didn’t ask anything. She just looked at his injured hand and said,72afb3d18ae6952f

“I thought you skipped school because of puberty.”16ef3e9cc88768e1

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Then she 3649754a50 smiled broadly.1815ec94b6055fe4

“You have a story.”adfa53a7463afff5

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As their eyes met, Eunseo said she’d lend him the money. She also said he could pay it back slowly.d7660ae7399ee665

“You’ll do the play, right?”6cf23176999fd7d6

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“Yes…”a269b75350b67d71

He couldn’t disobey Eunseo’s words. He was too grateful and kept saying thank you. Meanwhile, his hand hurt terribly.e4d165dc12019381

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✦✦✦070a9e495d0cc27a

Winter was approaching. Finals were over. He practiced separately in the studio Eunseo had rented after his weekend part-time job. He had missed many club activities as he’d increased his part-time work, but the festival was less than a week away.fa3c93e64aac4316

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The character he played, Jim, visited his friend’s house and met his friend’s sister, Laura. Eunseo, though directing the play, took on the role of Laura during practice. That day, he looked at the beautiful Laura and rehearsed his lines.bd37a06dac632e2e

“You have an inferiority complex inside. That’s why you have trouble relating to others.”208f27251b50e5c9

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Laura was such a bac350b407 person. But Eunseo 92349c74fd was too 791a97b2c4 pretty and 48c0615090 confident to 6d5a304ef7 play a 7368e7e7fc character trapped d5a23cc6ca in her 57b72593b9 own world.46a7e6e9386cb73a

“Someone has to fill your confidence. Instead of being shy, turning away, and blushing… that person will give you confidence.”98667226c01c0f77

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Smiling, he took Laura’s hand.c9f37d2549857bd5

“Someone has to do it, Laura… Laura, someone has to kiss you!”9f9db7a8dd3b3ead

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Those words felt like 2e85b33402 they were directed at 46bd4c8783 himself, not at the 0f8a1c8b88 perfect Laura standing in d66358fa9e front of him. Next, Jim 8bf73a78e8 would kiss b77f37373b Laura. But there 4daba0bff2 was no ef16fc3be2 one to b0097f34f7 kiss Ryu 58af01020e Seongwoo. Nor was there anyone 0b586007a1 to say such things 9f988860d6 to him.3d458ad2a0bc3021

Cha Eunseo, who didn’t need Jim’s kiss, gave feedback as soon as the dialogue ended.ef0d46d9833c4356

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“Not bad just now. The problem is that your usual self is coming through.”da980a787b7fbe52

“What’s my usual self like?”02a9bef424a6bac6

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“Strangely gloomy.”38add240de5f0966

“…Is it that obvious?”77e88acbbbc972f4

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“I can see it. Others might not see it, but they’ll feel it.”f494b8d71800622b

So, even 6b1373424d to others, b79642b9d2 he seemed d58d24a307 out of c909b09b41 place. Cha Eunseo spoke 507fa02a7b to him as 5654666321 he felt slightly 2dcad88a80 deflated.aac889120633c53b

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“That’s why our Seongwoo doesn’t have friends.”80bf6f7ae70b9139

“Perhaps.”dac5a460cb425974

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“You need to hide that. The sadness, the difficulty. People don’t like loners.”c14cf2526ede622d

“I suppose so.”8671ff3035f48b69

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“Act. Pretend to be cheerful. If it’s hard, just don’t speak at all. Always try to fit in with others.”c2487d89a7a2b5dc

Cha Eunseo ae3be703cb patted his ae661d23e8 shoulder with 30992e3b70 a smile.b66f441ae037c718

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“You’ve got talent, so you can handle this. Forget Ryu Seongwoo. Try to become the character you’re playing.”9611826f952ec429

After finishing her words, 31ee5e051d Cha Eunseo stood where 6e1a3fd480 Laura would be. She spoke with 5cb7fc2e06 a smile, as 5319bad702 she always did.6e4ff9bf1aff39d8

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“The Jim you’re playing is confident and ambitious. He’s sociable too. Jim’s life would be more liveable than yours.”030b152acd128ab4

He wished it wasn’t true, but that statement was one hundred percent fact.1ee1ab5c6eddc55e

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“…Why are you so nice to me?”28183ec81c4d7734

“It helps me too. To direct, you need experiences like this, right?”2ff5fc97ae09da8d

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Cha Eunseo was always smiling. Somehow, he felt he knew what lay behind that smile, but at the same time, he didn’t want to know.02e7255349e2bca9

“Come with me for rehearsal tomorrow.”a1890a2dec00d9c0

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That day, when he 9d2056b43c got home, his uncle f9fd5e8b24 was there. The sight 5d35ee785b of him 9f0b287666 sitting on 76d165a634 the sofa af264d2cab with a 154e05b61a scary expression e2431fce74 made him 9e824e39f9 shiver.98806f8034b3019c

“Why are you so late?”974650436ee85875

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“I’m sorry.”01350c6379a79027

“Fuck, shouldn’t you have at least made dinner?”7e24dcd2aa4d5bf5

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“I didn’t know you were coming…”0925ce52f954dffe

“Do I have to report to you every time I come?”585a453580cc9d81

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“I was late because I was working part-time. I’m sorry.”f0f33e6467abd8f0

“Part-time work, huh. Don’t I give you living expenses?”ddaad7f9e1dba287

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He couldn’t say, “You don’t,” so he just quietly watched his uncle’s mood.2a55d52f06b46b40

“Hey.”e8cc509f672095af

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“Yes.”1c8c17ef6083912b

“Come here.”118350c5c48efad2

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Trembling with anxiety, he approached his uncle. He couldn’t refuse. He just obeyed. When he stood before him, his uncle commanded, “Kneel.” So he knelt.9f46f1a5bf096b80

His uncle looked b5f7d6a2c5 down at Sihyeon e414275c3c with a vile 44e990aa0e smile.71406a5510c5db0f

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“Suck it.”ae22ac835dd6518b

“What?”aa7dfda8e3dc43c3

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“Stop acting innocent.”957797189ccadcd0

He didn’t even have the energy to resist or reply. Negative emotions like helplessness and fear flooded in. Tears came out. He looked up at his uncle while crying, unable even to wipe his tears. There was no mercy in him. His uncle snapped.9670c34c2483aa70

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“Don’t cry.”ff904bc60f8b9c93

He could see 5b3bd07876 his uncle pulling c938d01603 his wrist to ce5471091e the zipper of 9ffa755aaf his pants blurrily. His trembling 62348ecc0e hand grabbed bc6085ea61 the zipper.d26c9104e69a2d4d

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“I… I can’t do it.”042bc8bd8de27bd9

“Do you want to do it after getting hit? Or just do it?”e761bad9a4ec98bb

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Before he could answer, he got slapped. It hurt strangely because his uncle usually didn’t hit his face. It hurt like crazy because it was unfamiliar.9da9e28e0e4a3a31

That day, he kept getting hit. He couldn’t go to rehearsal or even school. Only when he got used to sucking did he finally escape from him.a604616721547f3f

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A few b936192c96 days later, 395e32e074 when he 37003dd176 went to ae42152740 school, it fd9991fd99 was noisy. It was 2a02219153 festival day 2b4e062802 before he e61f83bf9b knew it.12b24ef8ab4558b9

In this bustling ba4ea2e676 school, he was 58af8de6c2 the only one cb5c385a1a not having fun. He walked through 0f4db0bd15 the noise, laughter, b78b30a92c and music towards 8c0c2a719d the small theater.a7027b15cc44b476

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When he opened daae046332 the door, he a96149c63e saw members finishing 06c32ea97d up the stage 7590b54295 setup. They all looked at 4799c3c7b4 him with awkward expressions. Their awkward greetings felt 1b4f305ed2 off. People whispered to 00e379e5db each other and 1e52a2b1f4 called Cha Eunseo d136490cf4 over.9feb5847d5adbde9

He stood in the 32b526965c corridor with Cha Eunseo. The faint sound e854ad0174 of music from 7cf9b58db6 outside the window f76473c3bb was heard.b86f4a48cd8e2ce4

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He looked at her smiling face. She was smiling, but it didn’t look like a happy expression. He understood then. Cha Eunseo was different from other high school students. She could make such complex expressions. She wore that multilayered smile and said nothing. That was scary.3237263e5e722619

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come to the rehearsal.”1265ad04b5432b8e

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He was the first 52ef36e2b8 to speak. He felt 66b07f5934 Cha Eunseo cb4c2672dd staring at e865e5142e his bruised d4a8f0cf0e lips.578368a77def991b

Would Cha Eunseo… have guessed it?e27264a8887ed88c

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He thought it would be good if she asked to some extent. Who hit you? Are you being abused? Yet, he hoped she wouldn’t ask. Because it was embarrassing, because it was pitiful. He couldn’t judge which was right.5865dccdeee14354

“It’s okay. There’s an understudy. They did well in the rehearsal. They’ll go on stage today.”3fd1602e377bc653

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“Yes…”a5b12b9bb1936fc3

Eunseo approached him. With a very kind dc5832d926 face, slowly smiling, she a4df8bde47 said,51b41173da657dbc

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“You owe me a big debt.”3ddc30e6510efd53

It was a soft 08c2d3dfd0 and beautiful voice with 70bc54cbed no anger.a61932ef36800d12

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“Just don’t forget that.”4bf12d20d07fb33b

He slowly nodded at her words. To a child who didn’t know the weight of a debt, it was a very sweet forgiveness.8d48236d96321446

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✦✦✦cf9000ca3b2854b9

He managed to pay 5546148dd6 back all the surgery cf03a2e7b2 costs he borrowed from 3be4f72099 Eunseo just before she 5ba2f97064 graduated. Having been 138a54567b accepted to 1ccddddb9b the prestigious 93f2f6dd22 P University’s ded900c30e theater and 24ab22129b film department, 141cc60fee she seemed fdc0dcfa43 to have bf2be11c01 a bright d2d8cd041f future ahead, ffab6f0866 just as 14befa25b2 she always f30119f464 had.65695f631359e3d1

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He bought a single rose and attended Eunseo’s graduation ceremony. Seeing the countless bouquets in her arms, that single rose seemed really pathetic. Eunseo said, “Why did you even bring this?”4fcf9f56ea60d911

“I’ll contact you later, Seongwoo.”a911cf9df0e30e6b

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“I don’t have a phone.”08abf3233f280421

“Ah, right. Can you at least give me your home address?”36e65b0ccac76f7b

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“Yes.”52713d66b8e84e51

He hastily found paper 807f7fcf90 and a pen, wrote 8576bba9bc down the address, and 3dceea9875 handed it to her.470088df1b63f610

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“But be careful. My uncle might be there. He’s… quite strict.”14a71b36cb37e080

“Is that so?”902eab596b3a8808

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“When will you come?”0237e2355e97f449

“I’ll come when I need to.”371ddf0852c3e203

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It was an indefinite 425f102021 promise. And indeed, Eunseo 9c26b7ef75 never came.8d1e6666f976e886

He tried to tell himself that she was just busy now that she was a college student… But the more he thought about it, the simpler the reason was: there was no need or reason for her to come. Ryu Seongwoo was just one of the many insignificant people around her. Just as she had said, “You are useful to me,” she had taught and taken him around because it benefitted her.d28e5a55628a2036

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High school f548ec3303 senior year, 214c9e131b endless days ce3f873b11 where there 8a28f7280d was nothing 936aa12bef to do 98f4468948 but think. That was the time 124ccbd6e4 he realized it every f9c9e5e868 moment.37d3bc544c332d4d

The reason c474874be1 he had fc4ed851ee so much 5c16ee9e12 time was c7827a5e42 that he 0ceaf689a6 couldn’t go 9bf46aa95e to school 192b803e0a often. The more bdd644589a his uncle 791212f183 beat him, 115b432d76 the more 3b25865d7c scared he f2500279ff was that ef24aaf773 someone would f56b8f793c report him. So, he gradually kept d13ac40837 a closer watch and b63dc5915b prevented him from going a8ea36b703 to school.350a471d1773097e

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“Why do you think your uncle did that?”2ccef00ec8017568

A few years later, 01d684fed6 one day when he 5c6df46db3 had grown up and a25e2e5e7d changed his name, he 7bdb288f19 asked the counselor.e9c4dd2a7ee97aa5

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“People like that build their self-esteem by trampling others. As you know, it’s never your fault, Sihyeon.”7e509c078d0ba6ac

But back then, Ryu Seongwoo was just a high school student. A child waiting to become an adult. His uncle said he would reveal the location of the columbarium where his grandmother was when he became an adult. He also threatened to dispose of the urn if he told anyone or reported him. He couldn’t resist because he felt too sorry for his innocent grandmother. After all, she didn’t want to have such a despicable son.a6ad899cb90d5938

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The hostages weren’t just his grandmother. The threat of “I’ll destroy everything if you don’t listen” also included his parents. All photos of his mom and dad were torn apart by his uncle. Naturally, there were no digital photos left. He hid the one remaining photo secretly under his mattress.6929e8c59999661e

As a high school senior who rarely attended school, his teachers and people around him often asked if something was wrong. Every time, he lied, saying there was nothing. “I’m struggling financially and doing part-time jobs. I’m not going to college.” He practically scripted these lines and repeated them. And he always smiled as if nothing was wrong.eefe95b5700d62b7

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He knew nothing but fc4cb13484 how to act like 106b3e6ccd an ordinary person. It was a 6e5fc17e52 time when everything 97c0141063 regressed.79605aa1f188d578

He didn’t even expect to inherit the wealth his uncle held as a guardian. He only hoped to find out where his grandmother was and escape somehow when he became an adult. He endured with that thought. He barely managed to complete his attendance and graduate.1f35da4a06061847

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But he 8c6852532c couldn’t attend 543c1a6006 the graduation f00935d413 ceremony.ee6973ef8ab7d6d8

On the morning of the graduation day, his uncle happened to be home. He asked his uncle about his grandmother’s whereabouts. It was a weak form of resistance. His uncle laughed as if he had heard a joke. He had never seen such a despicable smile.57bd4d9e5ba575fd

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“So you think you’re an adult now?”79a6425dc794633b

He got up d038c291fb from his seat.00e8927f13ed161e

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“Stop fooling around.”e8520f00190220eb

It was ab8319d5bc disgusting to d380ffaed6 see his ab86ccfa31 uncle approaching. As soon as 0fce34aca3 he got close, c8688a168c he was kicked da857211cd and fell. When his uncle raised b5f39bcd7a his hand, he instinctively 815a3694e0 curled up. Seeing that, 3499b72659 his uncle dd792c104b laughed.14831abb9da9fc58

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“Take it off.”16687cdb6c8f594c

“What?”229121275d6e16b6

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“Shall I take it off for you?”146d83150ea89cf7

It felt ominous. His body reacted first, stepping back. Soon, he was blocked by a wall. Anyway, running would only get him beaten. It was a relief he couldn’t go further. His uncle laughed again, seeing him.8dc23efeea4ec509

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“You really don’t learn, do you?”8faad214b58c2651

“Wait… just wait.”7368d03495fc250c

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Of course, cc1b6cbfa9 it was 1a497a2bbb useless to 9165462f0c say that. While trembling, he saw e996cebb0b his uncle approach. A blunt ba8cc7707c hand grabbed fdf442b77f his pants.4e2bdf71da8a7146

“I’m quite a conscientious guy, you know. I’ve let you off easy so far.”18a3426d1780d976

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He blankly stared at df176fdb52 his pants being pulled ffa31e0428 down. He could guess what 66ac9b029d would happen next.dc4430c97a2219b9

“I’ll make you a real adult.”a55faf174e7ab591

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He tightly shut his f6c912077a eyes. At least it e28334c083 was better than 1f16f670f5 getting beaten. It would end e30481dc98 soon anyway. No tears came anymore.b348f15599b8ad27

Around that time, his dbd9f946b4 uncle quit his job 3c9766bf7a and stayed home every 50ea6c5568 day, while Ryu Seongwoo 5817a765ea lived a life of ae4c041d9e nothing. He bowed, begged, and ce1304a93a submitted; submitted, begged, and 9dc78f097d bowed.24a699043fcd81d6

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He endured the ec550bab23 pain every day 509bfb4d11 but never found 086a485623 out where his e5c8827a90 grandmother was.0155755bd96b205f

Instead, the day of c52ccbf5f2 liberation came.c0dee01242888f8f

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The liberation had nothing 3c2a43ea65 to do with his 93d2598751 will. One day it 2d81c82d85 suddenly came. His drunk uncle e8e34226d2 went out to fa45423f15 buy more liquor 5eba1a4783 and was hit 459014463e by a car 6cab8feb12 while jaywalking. It was night, and fed8343d10 the car fled, they cd335c5ffd said. His uncle bled 3548511913 too much and 17766f6f60 died on the fd70068980 spot.823c373a376bf860

Thanks to that, he got to see his uncle’s corpse, which he had only imagined. Seeing him dead and lying there, the once formidable man looked so pathetic. He was such a huge barrier, but he fell so easily. Was he nothing special after all?18404b7942d24aeb

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It wasn’t a big deal.8c5fa5985b4fa533

Ah, it really wasn’t a big deal, I guess. Yet,c970ce5c6e792beb

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it was an insurmountable f3b7b38663 wall for him.0e3c283f640d7d19

He looked at his uncle’s corpse laid out in the hospital. Half of his face was split, and his head was badly smashed. Aside from that, frustratingly, he seemed intact.cdf0f68e7f7d9a9e

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Did it hurt when f6d9ed7e87 he died? He hoped it had ee54e1566b hurt a lot. More than what aefe77bdb4 it looked like.2531d7b9a5f1caa2

He signed the body release form. Very slowly, moving the pen deliberately to savor the joy as long as possible. He had never been this happy in his life. If feeling happy about someone’s death makes you a bad person, then he decided to be a bad person.ef94c2da4c3aa8e5

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That day was cc95a32068 the start of e25429496b the monsoon season. Torrential rain f7da8f1ae4 poured down 1aa14bfca2 with a 4bcf7b638c roar. Walking through the 3e544cf2a0 drizzling rain, his 2a2f70b44f whole body felt 3ae9e3d2b1 cold. As his body grew 90b6c0306e heavy from the rain, d593605ba5 he thought, please let 675f956f02 him have gone to 62a7dc5c3b hell. Death should c884ee5a2c not be 7420fedaec the end 4cbb5d4f54 of life.f20a09683cf4da01

Hell had to 52f2480931 exist.0a3fd9944a9efadf

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At night, 8a0a86e8ec he fell db8db6cc1a asleep listening e23b3ea617 to the ef5bb0e8cd faint sound b4250b6e4e of the 87049db778 rain. That night, too, d8f7d7ead9 he had a a4c5e83723 dream.4a17b679bedc988d

In the dream, he was an elementary school student, falling endlessly. Inside the falling car, his mother was holding him. Even in the moment before death, she tried to protect her son. Her embrace was warm until the very end. Or, to say ‘the end’ was not quite right. In reality, there was an end to the fall, but in the dream, it just kept falling without end.67646fc684ceb5a1

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Before, he thought he should live hard because his mother had given her life to save him. But now, even those feelings had faded. He felt sorry for his mother, but… he had such selfish thoughts. He felt like he couldn’t be a good person either. It wouldn’t be bad if he just died like this. Why should he keep living?1089cd250cc27324

He endured all a729b8d57d the suffering as 9798c0a1ce it was. Every time he 8662fc4852 closed his eyes, 165ee9e54e he dreamed of 515a37db94 falling. He woke up repeatedly 3f27f7af8a from shallow sleep. Still, he tried to 0efff15c70 keep sleeping. He ignored 3594995a65 hunger and d46429d8eb thirst, thinking 3eea3c828b that he d33597acb9 might die 2ed533e7e2 in his e49101006f sleep. The room 30ab4b14a1 was filled 181555d9fd with silence. In that thick, heavy ffe577e461 emptiness, he was dying.6a1d5dba0a420873

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But then,fa83837a98c8a0a4

There was a sound that broke the silence. At first, he didn’t recognize it. It was such a subtle stimulus. Maybe because he had submerged in silence, blocking all his senses, his perception was slow.34fe09990a328fca

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Ding-dong.500d48f1dcd1a029

Listening again, it was the sound of the doorbell. He thought it was a mistake because no one was supposed to come. Anyway, he didn’t have the energy to move. So he just lay there. He thought he heard someone knocking on the door.068f19345268bf60

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“Seongwoo! Are you home?”fc922a5033d6ec8c

Then he opened his 0a63980e7d eyes. There was 71364602d7 someone who 059fde703e broke the 24208dbc18 silence and ee2e472285 called his 1abe01ceac name. Someone wanted him. Just thinking eb5b2c4442 that, tears 56a638b0b9 streamed down 0b571a5d11 his face.746da51105132dbb

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Wiping away the tears, b7e5c3161c he struggled to get fecfcf9266 up. With no strength, 6896dcb8e9 he moved by c31fb79ce8 holding onto tables, 71be53ca96 chairs, anything. Like a 97c07f1e2d bird instinctively 0ad491cb8f seeking its d62d9295c3 mother, he ad68d74419 headed towards 7b1e7e85f4 the door 27523db214 where the e443ca63ba bell was 65b8512671 ringing. When he finally fce70f7dff opened the door, e33cb866d6 there was one 479efa5df3 person standing there.6a47c103443ff9bb

It was d5e1a6b6f2 Cha Eunseo. That vibrant, 8680f545be beautiful person 3db791e40b was his b0733ef39f first savior 20524a9826 in life.c27c6c8b5cdcfb6c

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That’s what he thought then.5ada8e06547a5d08

✦✦✦c150f2695dff3a71

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Cha Eunseo 2ebe9bf087 was now bca5ea0c67 a proper 61d0324a62 university student. He followed f9dcd04248 her to 20dfdadd5e wash up c1ff20ebc4 and go 0b08ae959e outside. The outside was so 2c80ff4410 bright it hurt his 30a9237101 eyes.5128dc4642f0c7e0

Cha Eunseo f65b3e78d2 bought him 31d9d778d3 food, took 064d43210f him to fdaf89b7d8 a café, e062e7baa4 and ordered 3953af9449 a drink 12f0ca694f for him. While sipping on some 45e30f7475 unknown sweet coffee, he 52dc905a96 talked about what had 19694620b2 happened.d78ec29f8c857925

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He listened 60dd3266b5 quietly to 286a099cae the story 8b8009a4b0 of how e302ebc8b1 his family 54b361e09a was all e4be0034c5 gone. He heard about his 88d030db78 uncle, the abuse he 5a801f15d5 suffered, and how he 1aa4b48241 had nothing left.69bf4e84c1b2ee69

Then he b61e1fcdfe realized that 33e8ff4bc8 he had 8fbdc24fa4 never told a1794bcecf anyone about 299b989351 this. And he 3219b61784 also realized 23948f88c7 that he fe120cc897 wanted to 47af6600f3 tell someone.8103c6d6b3ce4878

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“It’s best not to tell others about this. Their view of you would change.”c12a20ebd86bc91d

That was her initial 9e04783a1f reaction.b057f1b505372696

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“Don’t trust others. I’m probably the only one who wouldn’t care about hearing this.”e03e68eee15b9508

They’ll despise and mock you. They’ll pretend to sympathize and be nice, but only on the surface. Cha Eunseo whispered so.38f4e0071773489f

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“Are there others like you?”455bf71b0e261927

“Well, there might be. But can you find them?”add7e5ae0ca68da3

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Her sweet voice said. The only person to b82941a8f3 trust was her.5ee1fe4d54e0752c

“What are you going to do now?”06ec46240bee8b14

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“I… don’t know. Everything’s just annoying.”9aac224d4d271225

“You don’t really want to live, huh?”f437d30613904eef

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Cha Eunseo pondered 5a092be143 for a moment c9e5ae0d03 before making a dd837a73b2 new suggestion.5b6945d7973f4ea7

“Then let’s die.”e1aaefd1c9cf229c

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She said this 81677e9779 with a bright 9ba7ef0513 smile.e72a3aca40577a92

“And be reborn.”09c80639f7760f45

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“What?”e6145822639097da

“Think of yourself as a new person. Let’s start by changing your name.”f9c9de39fb075ed1

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“…Does it have meaning?”75f090adc97a2fde

“Try it first, it’ll feel different.”2b85beb8f6627396

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On the spot, they made up a new name. Taking one character from his mother’s and father’s names, they created ‘Sihyeon’. Cha Eunseo said it was good.d254626dfdf92dfb

“Let’s take our time with the name change application, Sihyeon.”d9603a9b759cb6f7

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Being called 0996773a1f a different 64fd034272 name suddenly 1bb80bf4c9 felt strange.da41aac76ae30e4e

“Say your name five times.”f5101b645b10c336

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“…Ryu Sihyeon.”377042839076f0a1

Ryu Sihyeon, dbcc86cd0a Ryu Sihyeon, ac5ef6d972 Ryu Sihyeon.05ab1d2ff20c4a85

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Ryu Sihyeon…3fe9be96bccbfc7a

Ryu Seongwoo was a7cbeeed0f a person he 31fc2d72ae never wanted to fc6635202d be again. He had d51312d17f just killed 0460d0eacd off Ryu d0d0f3bdcc Seongwoo. And there 2c1a56c1db was a 51ea5b97f9 beautiful accomplice d4283b5a0b to testify 5c5862d247 to that 28ae673ad9 death.a21c5bc0d80ab84a

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Anyway, Ryu 10167c33f6 Seongwoo was cf963b74c3 nothing. No one would 21b04f7a5e notice if he 742ed200cd disappeared. So it 153539f4cd was okay.8a6bf0405d768d9b

While thinking 5401236f8a this, he 133d9e8e84 stared blankly 9cb3048afa at the 76c07d6c73 table, and 4a911801fc a pile 0721b86b95 of bound 907a34e08f papers came fe2d510c42 into his 0346833852 view. Looking up ac22a6e4d9 at Cha 373165af92 Eunseo, she 4114c7c692 spoke.72f64fb445727e7e

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“I came here because of this today.”86d9cbc3c78498d3

“What is this?”21af002014b627ea

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“A script.”eaeb078e0b2ee79a

He picked it up blankly. On the cover of the script, the title was written in large letters: <Life and Death>. Life and death.d643e7c37cc3e3d3

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“It’s a senior’s work from school, and they’re looking for someone to play the lead. The image they’re looking for is similar to yours.”1b9a95007eee8be9

In the café where 66cbdffc13 music was playing, there ab80b22a6c were hardly any people 6ae91015f6 other than himself and a19669645a Cha Eunseo. Sihyeon began to 6d7ef748e6 read the script. The main character, Jo 1375fcb0c9 Yuseong, was a despicable 831a4a6920 scoundrel. However, at his 39c08ad4b7 core, he was 1457a2d091 someone who craved 939e65248c affection. Having never received proper 829919e560 love, he unconsciously yearned 8888163a63 for it. Suddenly, he finds 7c2f55ff60 himself raising a efe5dc2652 child, and his ca2cf1891b desire for affection 0cdbbdef4d transforms into dedication 4358c1ea1c to the child.af99e50bb469f65c

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The music playing in the café felt alien. This work was not so romantic and calm. Jo Yuseong’s life was like that.4c2dffa64a383c04

“Does this kind of content become popular?”44807d6cc620e105

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“Critics love this sort of thing. They go crazy for other people’s misfortunes.”171b7090ed122a04

“I see.”71dabd19e7f1313b

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Certainly, Jo Yuseong 0bea74b857 was an unfortunate 181af9b253 person. Nonetheless, whether 3bd9591e42 as Ryu bad39d99b5 Seongwoo or c6d5ac027d Ryu Sihyeon, 4884361163 his life 19a2126d5c was better d0fa561fd5 than mine. The fact that 69e00bbc0e he had someone dabdfef578 to pour his 7f7bf5d7a9 affection into was 7c12ea4794 different from me. Also, his desire d5ad7e3282 to be a 152e982853 good person, at 8c06e9ef27 least for his cdab1fe3eb child.63553ff66bd625c7

“Rumor has it they haven’t found an actor they like for this role. I want you to do it.”a172c6c8b56e0d27

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“Why?”33f10d556ebb521f

“I want to get closer to that senior through you.”bc3c67cf19984d45

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“Is he famous?”d55fbb9eb2ae346b

“Sort of, in our department. He’s going to become even more famous. All the short films he’s made have gone to Cannes and Berlin. People say he could be the next Jung Youngwoo.”855d9c0b36abaaf8

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Not knowing who Jung Youngwoo was, he just responded with an ‘Ah.’ Cha Eunseo then asked, “You don’t know?”da904075c1f395e7

“He won the Palme d’Or at Cannes last year.”18b55f7cc211ba30

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“Oh, I see.”d5df9970b3b6aa58

Wanting to b656edd911 convince him b0d57af90c due to e12fbeb36d his lack e218bac0c4 of reaction, 3ac4405b4f Cha Eunseo 6b8959f10e said seriously:52a62ac39e52c18c

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“Let’s do this. I’ll help you prepare everything.”585d5321f1f10031

“How will you help?”087d8366b85db7ad

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“I’ve got a lot of time since it’s vacation. Let’s prepare for the audition together. Aren’t you lonely being by yourself anyway?”16402edd98ebe80d

…Lonely?eaf1329281bac79e

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He had never thought 2d55d5a5de about it until now. To be 4b4d5f35de precise, he 4f5e8218ed never had c1b56e7cd8 the luxury 3f4a330243 to think 225e75f3a2 about it.92399f58672b05c2

But after 4a8dec067e encountering Jo 776df829e0 Yuseong, a 11134c7b30 character who d59a25403f craved affection b5f8f887d0 and had 0dbb873190 emotions, things a1251567b5 changed a db61a981b9 bit. Comparing, even a91f8b25ca if both a2ca06922e were at 4fba0f5531 rock bottom, 8198bd10fe Ryu Sihyeon b3050c18c0 was more 94a66492ca of a 7f0e8dbc72 hollow person.cf317b5f1ec65bf6

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“I need that senior. I’m curious about how he directs, and he said he’d give good feedback on the script.”b927559e96e2b7ec

He felt Cha Eunseo’s gaze on him. He couldn’t refuse in front of those eyes. He had always relied on Cha Eunseo’s help.851aef83ec2c318b

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“Talented people like you might not understand, but some people would sell their souls to the devil for talent. That’s how I feel right now. So…”f7592e5d2c0e2e19

With a d9dae2c312 beautiful smile, 1729996065 she said:090a30741e4d96ef

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“Think of this as repaying a debt. Let’s live as Jo Yuseong for a while.”afc6c996c7aa60e9

Just then, b630f61998 the café 442180197b staff brought c4737328b7 over the 9c87780d49 ordered drinks. Cha Eunseo a04223d733 had ordered 79ac085d53 another one 189dbf51b2 for Sihyeon 2e9221518d to eat 1aed4cb74d well. Watching Sihyeon taste the f554ad0859 whipped cream on top 7387c9eb33 of the drink, she 3cdc29bb0a said:0cdbe27c0c723444

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“Jo Yuseong’s life is definitely better than yours, right?”10f214e1cb861954

✦✦✦dd00ad15e835d36d

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He met Director 628f42ba89 Lee Changhyeok that 4f0e7930c5 autumn.4042c2ac087d44c6

He liked Sihyeon at first sight. “This is exactly the feeling I was looking for,” he said. Soon after, he asked for a reading and then a handshake, saying “I’m looking forward to working with you.”85005888db6c2cac

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Is this it? Sihyeon was slightly taken aback. Could something in life be this easy? This didn’t apply to either Ryu Sihyeon or Jo Yuseong.3dfa0b70469324d6

“Mr. Ryu Sihyeon.”fc69d8974b1105a6

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“Yes.”70e11658c0a71382

He had quickly adapted to the new name, but being called “actor” was still unfamiliar.3b5d4fbdb1040b35

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“Do you swear a lot?”45aa36ae147b695c

“Ah, yes.”78b962a9492be3a5

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He mimicked his uncle’s way of saying “Shut up, you piece of shit” from the script. He received applause from the assistant director beside him. Sihyeon tried to smile like a sociable person. Cha Eunseo had taught him he should smile like that.dec290cc7c503f96

He met eyes f56cfc0d10 with Director Lee de64a741db Changhyeok in front dd885297d4 of him. He was someone who 9802e33359 smiled very quietly.56edc4d605a71fc9

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This man created Jo Yuseong. He thought so. Jo Yuseong’s wretched life, crude language, and his longing for affection – all of it came from this calm person’s mind. That was very strange.3323dbae2a620e4e

✦✦✦13ba29738173c776

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After finishing the funeral and returning from the hospital, the sun was already setting. The new agency and the newly rented house were about the same size as the old one. However, it was cleaner and felt more like a home. Normally, Sihyeon would have followed the doctor’s advice not to remain listless. He might have cleaned the house and cooked dinner. They said lying down doing nothing, like before, was poison for depression.36c161eddce5afc5

But today, he didn’t feel like doing any of that. There was no particular reason to live. Even taking medication felt like a miracle.22d23e22249da5e5

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He turned 74850ca7ec on the c20e5b4167 TV and 342fd5dead randomly flipped 26fdf23e0d through channels, 029eee1417 stopping at df71c74c18 one broadcasting 8e38df831b late-night news.561a843d9c8bb1f0

“Director Lee Changhyeok, whose film <Life and Death> was invited to this year’s Toronto International Film Festival…”7cc5f94f19786335

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Sihyeon blankly f782ea3ab4 stared at 17d245a99c the screen. The portrait photo 0b12b028bf he had seen e30b1c9c3a in the afternoon cbdf565954 was used on 385212dccf the news. Even in that 5622f4659e photo taken during becd223eb0 his lifetime, Lee f11f02517e Changhyeok was smiling 625eb944d3 quietly. He never smiled 6d482c44ec more than that.8376954ceee41b44

He hoped he didn’t suffer much at the moment of his death. He wished that in heaven, he would not be sad, depressed, or unhappy.88ac7f0090fe50c6

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He turned off the TV and played some random classical music on his phone. Today’s music was a piano piece by Liszt. He remembered; Lee Changhyeok had told him to listen to classical music when he felt anxious.b151d32e32fd1fa5

“You must feel a great sense of loss from losing someone close.”182f89813d7ba99f

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The doctor baa02d7c60 had said c64cbc76e0 that today.cff04048e497ce0f

“It would be good to go out to gatherings, make friends, and focus on social activities.”37aee2801e191e1a

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But he had no friends. He didn’t know how to attend gatherings if he were to go. He had no hobbies. All that was left was his social life.c03e4bdcb6571f32

Since he had become an actor… does social life mean he should be shooting something?d67c7dadf93a8731

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As with <Life and Death>, he didn’t do well in auditions. He had shot a few commercials, but with the short scripts for auditions, he didn’t know what to do. So, he always did poorly in auditions.adcee2bea3599c0c

Lost in thought, his 9958daa138 phone rang, and he 62d8232166 answered. Naturally, it was his a5dc81047b manager.e401aa86bce61946

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“Sihyeon.”5f19518ff7f63452

“Yeah.”c8e42aef6ca289fe

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“When you filmed <Life and Death>, did you agree to appear in anyone’s work?”01b8020b4961df96

“Um… maybe? They asked, and I couldn’t say no.”7797e5cfaca1d4eb

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“A man I met at the funeral keeps contacting me, saying you should appear in his work. It’s supposed to be a web drama.”4f6279881f769216

“Oh, really?”c313341b385b6512

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“It’s kind of ridiculous… but you don’t have any schedule now. Want to do a meeting at least?”7f6729701bfb2fad

“Yeah, sure. I don’t mind.”f04e286578891d76

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Since doing something would help keep depression at bay. Though he didn’t think doing something would lead to making friends.3f2cd91f8ff9fdde

During the filming of <Life and Death>, he didn’t get close to anyone. He didn’t even have a phone then. With Cha Eunseo between him and the other staff, there weren’t long conversations. Every time they chatted casually, he would say he’d agree to appear, but it was almost always lip service. Back then, he didn’t think he’d keep acting.05a2a73463163a65

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Still, he had learned b018a608f1 one thing well. How to pretend to cce1341b56 smile brightly like an 399c8b7439 ordinary person and act e4ce30c981 socially. He did as bd9fdd3afc he was told, f16f989f46 listened well to 843d7b7d21 others, and followed a32460c124 their words. Cha Eunseo had dd01f20314 told him to 3e181f0d16 do so, and 2a290698d4 at that time, 1de1f5ffac she was the d69c462731 only person he 4e4e9470d2 could trust.a73306bf47f0ef38

“I thought so at the time.”02d3e97581120db4

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Today, Sihyeon told c293e7ef1f the doctor more.6518005aa71c19ac

After the filming ended, 2f0f2c5994 Cha Eunseo no longer c91d889967 needed Ryu Sihyeon. She went back 74f8c03dda to school, and 575de28eea Sihyeon was left d81e87e5f5 alone in the eeeeaeb5f4 house he had 8d58e53269 always lived in.a6339bd371c33a92

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He became anxious at the realization that no one was looking for him or needed him, just like before. He wasn’t like this originally. He was fine being alone and didn’t wish for anything. He was just living a life that was dying away. So why did it turn out this way?9f8fedb3f3d7c07c

Something was wrong. He had learned ef2a98af7e to groom his 5be1507559 exterior and wear 4772ed0223 a facade to 5eafce67bb blend in with cffaa11bc2 people, but his afdf23d6ed empty interior was d70de7f225 never filled. Somehow, he ddfc20be5c had expected 4be41e45be Cha Eunseo 1f4b341061 to fill a780dd849b that void.84dda6f974e280fe

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He shouldn’t have expected that.145d50ba99c115cc

“Don’t be too disappointed. Some people don’t like forming deep relationships. They find it comfortable that way. Don’t take it too personally.”aa2647607db45295

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That’s what the doctor said today.51b76393c7f20f3e

“Yes, I think it’s like that.”7abf46426279c584

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After thinking 6d727dcfea for a f74175466a moment, Sihyeon 7c1d8a5e11 added:d3b0f288669bc60e

“It must be easier to handle people like me that way. If you get too close, you end up being sincere.”2709b0e602b096be

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“Then you just need to meet someone who isn’t like that.”a875eb58548c12cb

“Can I meet someone like that again?”c05c77216e470005

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Cha Eunseo had said he couldn’t meet someone like that. And indeed, it seemed that way until he got close to Lee Changhyeok.bc0a936c0441ad3a

Sihyeon recalled his former self, who was alone again. It was one of those days after <Life and Death> ended when he was barely living in the empty house. The doorbell rang. Unlike before, he quickly opened the door. At that moment, he seemed to be waiting for someone to come.c6dea79cf2c77465

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The visitor was 79618baa5a Director Lee Changhyeok.2e9cd0a7ac437a5e

“Are you alone?” he asked. Sihyeon answered:1c67c2d622d85eb0

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“I’m always alone.”3933b1df6d9909e0

He replied in a low, flat tone. At the time, he didn’t even have the energy to act friendly like he did outside. Yet, Lee Changhyeok didn’t find it strange.7c6a2722021d3343

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He never knew d6567dd6c5 how to hide f7c359736a his fragile self. Nor did he feel 88bc7d5127 out of place with 732ab78d57 the true nature of 32e459a87a a depressed person. His intentions b07c65b30c to help 41bc785a17 Sihyeon with 5b6d3a924e various things 2072475cd6 were genuinely 4a8c91e174 pure. He was even c5a2ce5bef ten years younger d766f0276e than Sihyeon, yet 8046d81fba he was concerned 85621de6cb for him. Sihyeon wondered 0c26f1a86f if it 8c96f3ec36 was okay d3324ecb3b for someone 38a8467e80 like him 27e79d0623 to live 13b47dba18 in this 828564ed4a harsh world c3722ada8c like that.27d3f60ac4cff852

Thinking about it… he ultimately didn’t survive.cda5ab9861d60cc6

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✦✦✦a7d3f44039cf53e9

The person from P University who directly contacted the company was a fourth-year student who had been the script supervisor for <Life and Death>. The web drama he mentioned seemed like an amateur work that had received small funding from somewhere. Comparing it to the feature film <Life and Death> made it feel even more so. Not knowing much about these things, Sihyeon looked at his manager, who seemed to have no particular thoughts.f10f94308c42128b

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The director told Sihyeon:a0936a205b26f046

“Mr. Actor, the trend is the internet! To match the film’s release! I will first boost your popularity.”e59e7d292a160e01

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“Oh, okay.”f00e34eb5bcc6673

“Here’s the script.”8f759628e240ccc2

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“…Okay.”d3acd4f67aed5e48

“Of course, you’ll be paid. It’s a small role, so don’t feel burdened. I won’t take up much of your busy schedule. Just consider it something special.”8a2bf87ec321a0b0

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“Yes.”7bb685afdc0eb6df

Noticing Sihyeon’s skeptical expression, the director said confidently:a584f79c996be6d7

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“I will make you famous like Seo Heetae, starting with your face.”cde58c370e9d48c6

“Ah, Seo Heetae, ha ha, okay.”e0470d869e2a6558

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It was bf2cffb762 fascinating to 87e1d19cd2 think he 6364234a59 might be 4c7daefb8a placed on b4f391e540 the same 426bef1d0f level as 5f60f06d24 that name ef9b8b03be he had 9a59febe58 only heard acf81f0bcb about. He had ff1edc0100 heard Seo 68d9fc16b3 Heetae first ee054693a7 became famous d1b41a02c9 on the 9fb8369bc2 internet. Sihyeon briefly 981c851428 recalled the 821b756e7f face he 3097249a9a had seen 22a5879c88 on TV 8ee4ad22c8 or in daff6bd17f ads.7e1c88762a718267

His straight, high nose 81f89f951e bridge, three-dimensional facial structure, 3882e58eb4 and the gentle curve c0096e7b4f of his lips. He had c9da2931bd a cool a97b9eed17 yet intense adedc988e2 dark brown f1680199e1 gaze that 6921e6cb1c left an 32ec003f10 impression. Even others would 83bd494ec9 agree he was 791a2ecd51 handsome.0c14a395510a44c6

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Glancing at his manager Cheoljoo, it seemed he had already been swayed by the director’s eloquence. For a company without a prominent lead actor, the promise to make their actor ‘famous’ must have been sweet.1d7d986bd5dd27f4

The work progressed at ff497b7077 an unrealistically fast pace. Before he knew it, 6ea45e7c95 Sihyeon was sitting in de625e590c a conference room at e7ca2b3914 P University, waiting for 9fe3a41e3b his turn to read.2d1ade2ca39b8ca0

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The tall lead 76f54fdfb0 actor, who was 990b1a6348 still studying at 7bc0b7ef3c P University, came 82ff00ea04 in last. Although he fff599fec1 was expressionless, b76d25f3b5 he was 7b45bc5943 more approachable b621a060b3 than Sihyeon 4e46974816 had anticipated 7d52a17b81 from his ec6c3ee32d first impression. He even greeted Sihyeon 4e1a74c093 who was sitting next 16934a2767 to him.f2cc497693aae4d6

That was d50fb2baa1 Gi Yoonhyung.d70e6b10ed2e18f0

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Gi Yoonhyung, a student in the Media Department at P University, had been cast as the lead after catching the director’s eye while walking on campus. Sitting there with a nonchalant face, he asked Sihyeon various things, admitting he didn’t know much about acting.fb81cf98e6584fe8

After the 947576b071 reading, they 7ea2168578 exchanged numbers 6b954a880b almost by f4eadb7d0e accident. This was the d8b42a24c9 first time Sihyeon 4c6974f9c5 had exchanged contacts 66a5c81eb3 with someone his beb638cc53 age since getting c8a0e9fb1f a new phone.64f9c818cb6da891

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Later, Yoonhyung asked to practice acting, so they met up a few times for meals. Conversations flowed naturally. Yoonhyung said he was acting because the director kept bothering him. He scoffed at the director’s claim that he would become famous with this. Seeing that, Sihyeon couldn’t help but laugh. He said he actually felt the same, finding it strange and new to share his true feelings with someone he didn’t know well.e3ba540e078c5973

Yoonhyung met Jinoh, a 97ede4a929 classmate he had become 012678dd0a friends with during liberal 230dc3ed55 arts classes, again on 85fc789dcc the set. Jinoh, who was 14fb93f500 in the directing e0ffe5c8ae department, had a 4204cd8f0e friend named Jaeseong 6f170e3111 in the production c022772b42 department. Including Sihyeon, the 9586fec01b four of them 72c92831df naturally became friends. Or more d787a380a6 accurately, Sihyeon 4e401654b2 was swept 8bc1a1c720 up by 43ef4c6de3 the three 27b621d28d sociable ones b550b2b080 and ended a54db5e819 up fitting 2b90cded72 in.ec2b3f068126d42b

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How did it happen so naturally? Sihyeon was bewildered himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he had made friends like this. For the first time, he drank with friends and watched movies with them.164b5eb18ac2cdf9

“Our Sihyeon got friends.” His manager was thrilled about this fact alone. His manager knew Sihyeon as a pitiful child who had lost his parents at a young age, took care of his grandmother without making friends or going to college, and made a living through part-time jobs before dramatically starring in a promising director’s film.299d513b727e43b4

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To think that Sihyeon was contacting ‘friends’, drinking with ‘friends’, and spending weekends with ‘friends’! He was almost moved to tears.506b916cf84cfff9

“Isn’t it great that your friends are so good-looking, kind, and from good universities? Good for you, Sihyeon.”c37d7f509691fd3a

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Every time the manager repeated this, Sihyeon felt somewhat pleased. Of course, that friendship wasn’t entirely sustained.4c8137f31aa8fe9c