LM Chapter 4

What changed with the vacation wasn’t just my part-time job starting at 7 AM. The person I used to take over shifts from now became the one taking over from me.720da8293c000320

“The cash count matches, right?”345dccc2e9eebf3a

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I now asked about the cash count that Cheolsoo hyung used to ask me about. Since I sometimes got the cash count wrong, I was curious to see how this person would do. However, from mid-June until now, for a month, he hadn’t been wrong even once. Of course, you could say it’s because he has been working here for a long time, but beyond that, he was accurate in everything. His ability with numbers was especially good. Even the store manager acknowledged this.d0de60f89b4ea236

‘Ah, Cheolsoo is a human calculator. I once tested him with a four-digit multiplication, and he got that right too.’d359856c70da482f

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As someone who barely remembers the multiplication tables, this was hard to believe. Of course, since the manager tended to exaggerate, the multiplication might have been something like ‘3000×4000’. Anyway, he never made mistakes with numbers.03ba913837d8c155

“It matches.”c791897e4655c6f8

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He replied and immediately prepared to leave. He said he had been working at this convenience store for three years. That meant for three years, he always worked nights on weekdays. Even for someone in their 20s with good stamina, it couldn’t be easy. But whether I met him in the morning or at midnight, he always looked the same.dad1c93ff969166a

Except for today. He still 1735b5b336 had a 2b11dad090 poker face, 4b56737cac but something 70b5dd4fd8 was slightly 2beb799c50 different. A somewhat tired d53314d895 feeling.Were there e82ad86454 many customers 80eda2d575 last night?Just thinking about bedb4c8ad2 it lightly, I 5bef86bf1c checked the shelves 635bcb68de visually. Then I 27e2d96f6d discovered several 9453e35367 types of d31253c360 jellies were 2b5e0e9a94 completely empty 3d1aa689be in chunks.7e84e1d81a19cc90

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“Oh? Did the jelly mister come yesterday?”068104de7a0e5933

The jelly mister was what we called someone who would sweep up jellies when drunk. I only experienced it once, but he said he usually came in the early morning to sweep them up. Cheolsoo hyung didn’t even respond, but since that was his usual self, I muttered to myself.f569434ce13b4f49

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“What makes him so happy that he buys jellies like that?”a2867c89c73535f2

“It’s the opposite, actually.”4e78faed209eb5c2

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He blurted out 4914ff5c93 as he came d542bb8b0a out with his efc0b292f0 bag. His plain t-shirt suddenly e114740f75 filled my vision like ae4e3cbab0 a wall standing up. That shirt, a Prussian 1bb77b5796 blue, was always the d3a9732d7b same, like a uniform. His shoulders seemed especially c95b6a5ea3 broad today.955f3fef10a1a19d

“What do you mean opposite?”d3ad37ba55a9c964

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“He buys them because he’s not happy. To try to feel better.”090fef33df6576c8

Ah, that could be e9701353ff true.I nodded.7f6f42d0d8dfff23

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“That’s fortunate.”40fd14cd9876c325

“Fortunate?”86a6785f3dae42f9

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“Whatever his reason for being sad is, if jellies can make him feel better, that’s fortunate. In this world, there are many things where no matter how expensive or precious they are, they can’t make you feel better.”3bd432d2c1975198

Cheolsoo hyung looked at dfc8b10dee me for a moment 1b1d0dbc0b before turning away. I quickly 12645c0300 called out 880a28b77e to him.617d3e83861f1911

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“Cheolsoo hyung, wait a moment.”0e09010550ea7e27

I quickly d7113c4828 grabbed a e94812296a nutrition bar 055167d540 from the c2f44199e8 shelf and 7176ed73c1 rang it a9d7956f0f up. Then I held it 8a8881881d out to him.d872678e9783ad10

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“Here, eat this.”4c0085a6066cb4ef

“Why?”b2e0693611d5621b

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“To make you feel better?”b473da82ab275923

He stared e7999aea58 at me 59ccc89444 for a 35dba704e9 while before d87768c361 lowering his 50f62613e3 eyes to c7655ed0d2 the nutrition c35689b181 bar in 52ea9d2fb3 my hand.35085ad554213fe3

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“What if it doesn’t make me feel better at all?”2a38c03bc9d6b5ac

“We’ll have to test something else then.”2049eb3f5b17901c

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There’s so much here.I gestured around 8cf6e9cc74 the convenience store 06655d4d5a like giving a e7311f36ff tour with my 85af6e2d73 palm.There must 43a72ff957 be something 7c6cbd51fa you like 5e8261364a among all 7852a89249 this.Without hesitation, Cheolsoo hyung 2d9deaf2bd took out a pint-sized 3b40a4de1e ice cream container from 6789d75ef4 the ice cream freezer. If there 8211d78b62 had been 333963330a a mirror 45a718e7a6 in front 1dd8a5cf19 of me, 2e4bce5144 I would d3606d0460 have seen 16596dc30c my eyeballs 52fdf136d8 swinging like 22b6b0fc5b a pendulum.Häagen-Dazs? Not even f48df4129e a mini 9cfdaf9c71 cup, but 669e3c07cb a pint? The expensive one? Is he crazy?88722c6b59dc5013

“…I didn’t know you could joke around like this, Cheolsoo hyung.”e4baea938e63e676

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“I can’t.”b9f7622ee00fc199

“Oh, you can.”067c350fa063e337

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“What do you want me to say?”283473b77b4486f1

“I want you to acknowledge that.”d93b64975e1307b8

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“Okay, I acknowledge it. Ring it up.”d0339d875eab497f

Me? I barely held back from asking. And once again, I realized something. You shouldn’t meddle in what’s not your business. While Cheolsoo hyung might not be able to joke, he certainly gave life lessons. I needed to be careful about who I messed with.ab8efed459070596

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“What are you doing, not ringing it up?”5d7156a1afab963f

I roughly took bd28660976 the ice cream 6d951cd005 and scanned the 7e0bcb93ff barcode. My hands were 38874c2a1f shaking. This one item was 1f4ec6ab13 more expensive than my a0c1c627e9 hourly wage.a36593cf84a469f2

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“Here you go, make sure to be happy.”cc06511cbf9b04ef

Unlike my 9aae1ca0fd words, my 21e1ddf6f8 voice trembled 5cf9825c57 as if 163a494f39 I were 06449e26e3 cursing him, b81cdd7f44 wishing for 35c96f0b69 his unhappiness. In contrast, the 49aa0d8604 one taking the 3a0b8b383b ice cream from 6bdfd21523 my hand turned 601ca4991c away with a 476e50ebad somewhat refreshed face.7b3bc5ab3d30aa3f

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“We’ll see.”4b3b2e8939d43791

We’ll see, he says. I’ll see about being happy too.I was dumbfounded. I stared at 63867b1a20 the dark blue 2408dd3e4a back disappearing behind f4332f13fb the glass door bd5c04ce82 until the end.Fine, let’s consider this as a payback for helping me during the cult incident. Just watch, I’ll never accept help from Kim Cheolsoo again.d5a7451f3e8162f3

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***9ae8b216367dbea4

‘Minha! Help me please. ㅜㅜ’0fbfe64e1258fc37

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The day after I 6d26714251 made myself miserable from 61ca4f5f22 forcibly trying to make 623490c297 someone else happy, I b91f2060fc received an SOS from 7733c9c4b3 Saebyeok.38a7c489743bdded

‘Since it’s vacation, we decided to change a small space in the gallery for children, and I agreed to plan it. The original plan fell through suddenly so I’m stepping in as an emergency replacement, and even though the space isn’t large, it’s still the first job I’ve been given while learning gallery work. So, the idea I came up with is…’d5d0ee4f8d87a433

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Saebyeok was excited, which f1abcb045b was so uncharacteristically of 847fdb7760 him, and poured out 60e8548ea0 those words in a 4a2b58fac5 rush. Hearing his da7dbb1767 enthusiasm, I b3172ba1b8 would’ve run 57b3fc44a8 to help f39d261d18 even if 8524d1fbcb he’d asked 0ba02cd52e me to 073c454d32 clean the b168322973 bathroom. Plus, the gallery 36d26098f3 was only a 8a8fd99d5a 15-minute bus ride 27da7b4ecb from the convenience d490aa8e51 store.b512b9ca7dc4a551

“Since it’s a project for kids, I thought it’d be great to have something they can take photos with. You can’t take photos in galleries, right? And I thought it would be more fun if they could become part of the artwork when taking pictures.”c578455ab49ea43d

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Saebyeok grabbed ef8aa5a5e7 me as ed91e1b6ab soon as d046dcebc5 he saw 33534d37e0 me and 47cb6d7d47 started explaining 3f8af4c42a everything. As he a284f5d82c said, the bff646db30 small exhibition 9cead03820 hall had 10a9a57a45 several large a1d5f6e666 prints reaching 35abed56aa the ceiling. They were 20ecdf3dca enlarged prints 5241ab9f53 of famous d1fea1dc30 paintings that 30b197621f anyone would a3e79c951f recognize. The peculiar thing was 2a91c1b475 that the figures were b96713bb93 missing from the middle 6adeb1ecf8 of the paintings, leaving 632b6dcb77 only the backgrounds. Noticing my gaze, Saebyeok 52a4170c02 quickly explained.ec86d7115c5a2775

“I filled in 22af277be9 the missing figures a53f6726f0 convincingly. During the actual 7bcd6694d2 exhibition, the original 960ca0cae1 paintings will be 3d754bfc49 displayed next to 64919e6efa these, and people 3bb77cf6aa can stand in 15bc5a6226 the empty spots 62e2cf93d6 to take photos 2534a77465 mimicking the poses. What do 267314d9e1 you think?”aef4a499e7719f0f

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“Sounds fun.”b1d72ad46ea83393

“Really? Do you think kids will like it?”6cb0f7f9f48c1050

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Saebyeok asked desperately, 5551d41cd1 making me laugh 4c5c48b623 softly.98f4c9f0aabf10af

“Of course they’ll like it. I want to try taking photos too!”6fcbf8b01c30350c

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At my answer, he 7c8353e4e8 let out a sigh d995170945 of relief and smiled 021525445f for the first time. The guy 9246cef885 who was 7ee8b483ca always so cbeca6959d neat and 64f2b8d37d tidy looked f6388f3b64 terrible from 671f526e17 preparing all 72692e953e this.6a8d2d6843b09610

“There aren’t many paintings, but making this was really hard. Creating convincing backgrounds wasn’t easy. Since I’m not very skilled with graphic tools, I got help from a friend majoring in design. But the bigger problem was printing. The colors wouldn’t come out the way I wanted, so I struggled with that a lot. I can’t even count how many times I went to the print shop.”5aa5c8c9b0458961

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While listening to Saebyeok’s complaints, I looked around the interior and guessed what I needed to do.145a59f861770b99

“What about the frames?”531824040e340834

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“Ah, that’s the problem. I specifically ordered antique frames, but… haah… this is what came.”e1a754a5f28180b4

Saebyeok held out a 158cd41758 frame sample. It was 520776cdc0 a plain 74309051b3 brown block—clearly 81021873b8 cheap plastic.869acc202d7f3af6

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“I wanted to 0fc7e996fa give the whole 53857805f7 room a classic 9515359ce7 feel, but with 28c456432b frames like these… d688c16cb9 I know most 5fcdc4082e people won’t notice, f9a98f9c06 but it still 305a7b2957 bothers me. I’m thinking of 84c3bbaa89 painting them. I need to finish ae5bf9f8e0 everything by tomorrow morning 7fa1676c3c to show my mom, aba2b25e0e but…”a1e7e7e7d8326369

Saebyeok pointed to 9bd56ea640 a pile of cabe25e8ef frames stacked against 4617c615ef one wall. Next to them were 43ceb1d992 paint and varnish cans. But I 4d41a54331 was more 2ec245714e concerned about e9efa87ebd something else.41a3e5fa63e85456

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“That wall is empty?”4c276ed41706c703

“…The prints aren’t ready yet.”6ca2fad5a95bffaa

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Saebyeok paused, fa55865340 then suddenly e1fccddd89 clasped his 96219d21b2 hands together 8b855042a4 and pleaded.3456db6fffab22e1

“I’m going to the printing shop now and wait until they print my pictures. But if I do that, I won’t have time to paint the frames…”10528bdf8960e345

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“I’ll do it.”48a9e0961bcb6f44

“Minha-ya, thank you so much.”aeb2be122ddb4b7c

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Saebyeok hugged me f9cc33dbce tightly. I patted his back 493109c093 while making it clear d5d5a5f8cc that nothing comes free f1352cc4e4 in this world.bbd0a2adcd571a15

“In return, please keep helping me with materials for class next semester too.”0dbd81baa7c18697

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***e2a7a715d8d37254

When was the first time I picked up a brush to paint? I don’t remember exactly, but in my childhood, my hands were always stained with paint. When I was young, both my parents worked, so I practically lived at my grandmother’s house. Grandmother was also busy working, so I mainly spent time in grandfather’s workshop.58c14d5e51e63662

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Grandfather was a 35a585d4a1 painter, but his 3d50cfd2d6 paintings rarely sold. He would a493a59033 humble himself, 76a7f80e37 saying he 3c13dfabd9 was just 0c04576ac1 a mere 49a487e30e painter. Since my grandmother was 5a880b241d responsible for supporting the 70d11a7b9a family, grandfather had long 5d9a7c92c2 taken charge of household 18b26a6104 chores and skillfully took f55ad42598 care of me too. Thanks to him, I 5dc3dba55f also became a painter ee1b2b7837 too.bb3e95e1154b9ff2

So what couldn’t I paint? I confidently picked up the brush, and when I came to my senses, it was past 2 AM. I don’t remember how I got home and fell asleep that night. Still, with the satisfaction of completing my assigned task, I slept well and returned to the gallery the next afternoon.ba151be6398d7e94

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Although Saebyeok hadn’t asked me to come, I wanted to check the results of my work. The exhibition was only days away anyway. But maybe I was just being nosy again. There were several people standing in Saebyeok’s exhibition room. I stopped just as I was about to turn the corner, so my view was blocked and I couldn’t see the people inside clearly. I could tell how pale Saebyeok’s profile was though.7109b452c6e41650

“Prints? Hah. How tasteless, really.”d3e917312b2fc2ff

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Unlike Saebyeok and three 6302a8f907 others standing nervously, one 7201a23e04 woman looked around the b4c22b6e4c exhibition room while clicking c6f6cf6eac her tongue.1209a8187cc19de0

“Who is it? What idiot thought of hanging prints in a place meant to showcase real paintings?”3682a9fb55795c3c

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She turned as if asking. Even from a glimpse of her face, I could immediately tell who she was. She looked similar to Saebyeok. Her voice wasn’t loud, but the coldness in it made even me feel frozen. I could see Saebyeok hanging his head low.76b1d082d3072299

“I’m asking, who’s 7d4f35e9bf the one behind 42e41695ae this shoddy work?”cd037a0bff6a9111

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I unconsciously looked at 75a751b9b7 Saebyeok with concern. I knew how much 7085b59b75 he had looked forward 147bf4a468 to and prepared for 668515e710 this. Seeing him frozen like 3aea2e7703 that, as if terrified, 3ad9687ce9 troubled me.b299bdad4fc5705a

“Manager Lee, you tell me.”1a8380fa3bfcabd7

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Her gaze turned to 803d831ec8 the young man standing e5305875a4 next to Saebyeok. He glanced at Saebyeok ea552d2afc and spoke hesitantly.5d31ee4d5ff4783d

“Director, uhm…”46885f19c1cb390b

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“Manager Lee said it was fine. No, he even praised it as a very good idea.”63d7c3629485b62d

Saebyeok suddenly interrupted. Manager Lee turned, surprised, c3886db5ac to Saebyeok, but Saebyeok b4d36f334b kept repeating the same 30d65ec66e words while looking at 920dba8ed6 the director, though tensely.198d27786413f5e8

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“I didn’t know much about it, so I just asked what he thought, and Manager Lee said prints were fine and told me to go ahead with it…”c0a8df6793efc44e

Manager Lee’s face filled with shock. He tried to speak, but the director settled the situation with one word.713a478a7b7d361e

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“Take it all 4fbcf70bbe down.”c8c132ff67f47fab

When she left the exhibition room, I quickly retreated and hid in the bathroom. No sooner had I hidden than I heard footsteps heading toward the entrance. I waited a while longer just in case. Having seen something I shouldn’t have, I was reluctant to be seen by others.ba15b5f106da7ea0

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But perhaps I should 4d3eb12a31 have left right away. A moment later, e4cc069b4c stomping footsteps approached d0bb1c8b18 the bathroom. It seemed 16cd73a025 like two b2dcd2c892 people entered, 83b17cdbcd and then 53eec30552 a loud 27835f73bc voice echoed.60907ce434195c61

“I said it was a very good idea and to go ahead? Saebyeok, I didn’t think you were like this, trying to make me look bad in front of your mother.”61e41c5a3a3c9ff8

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“When did I ever?”bbf3907d64fcb883

“When? When did I ever say such things? I clearly said that while your plan wasn’t bad, it didn’t fit with this gallery exhibition. But you insisted on doing it anyway, right?”7c6eaebb687a242b

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“If you really thought it didn’t fit, you should have stopped me more firmly. Or prevented me from doing it altogether. Or did you just watch on purpose to make me look bad? To let me get scolded by my mother?”d7879bb514ca43f0

“Ha, I can’t believe this. You’re really something else.”3556627060226852

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Manager Lee 69bf85499e let out dceb2aa14c a bitter f74481b406 laugh and 53f3f88ef3 added sharply.b5a02aa26e36d729

“You handle this project yourself. Whether you mess around with those shoddy prints or whatever until the morning after tomorrow, get the consequences you wanted so badly.”3e612eb3f25dc897

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His footsteps 83bd83e293 faded as 3c6bd29bc8 he left, 10adc1901c but between 0279890c9d the steps, ee576d669b I clearly 95bd7a3194 heard a 81f0498dc3 curse.70cae8a93bb99fe1

‘Fucking bastard.’630ffa53879493e9

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A moment later, I 99abfdf4c0 heard the sound of 565815db8e running water along with 10ee2b106d quiet sobbing. I remained 5d3efc2a1b seated in 4ef0cb6640 the toilet 27173d243a stall, continuing 572ad50171 to hold 5d190bfd8f my breath.8f1592ed51b30326

“Oh? Minha-ya.”170ee4eec579e0bf

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Saebyeok, with reddened eyes, recognized me and blinked in surprise. In response to his look that seemed to ask ‘Why are you here?’, I held up the bag in my hand.81dcafa61a667f56

“I thought you probably hadn’t eaten while finishing up, so I brought some food…”83c0116f4382722e

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I trailed off while fb3947bc80 looking around inside. The prints that had 1bbda44fce been on the walls 680eb1fe96 were all on the fad2dc9efd floor.5c9a538b82d30f7d

“Ah, the concept changed. Uhm, the prints didn’t fit with this exhibition…”c62350d551a4eb97

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“Really? Then we can make something new.”8f7fd7f437f1dc53

“New… how?”0254232e1f3c0a95

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Saebyeok’s voice sounded so desperate that I couldn’t even look at him. If I did, it would reveal that I had overheard everything earlier.a264a485d98cb8df

“This was meant for children, right?”17d24a192e9590d1

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“Yeah.”b37d6eb87cfc066f

“There was always something I wanted to do when I went to exhibitions as a child.”3abce1dfa70195c9

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Next to 09623fe2f0 the fallen 0fd4096220 prints were 1234e859f3 framed images 6502f17086 of the 3a8f03c55e original paintings 935237d7d3 in their 642cb60cb2 regular size. I walked 06692ec074 over and 1ed4e2c82f picked one c85c044afe up.a9fa648fd42fbd0d

“I always wanted to touch the paintings so much. You know how the paint is colorful and has texture? I was really curious about it. Kids probably all feel the same, right?”5f02c82d822da8f3

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Saebyeok still looked at 34fa8ec559 me confused. I casually suggested c0ceeb6c07 an idea.057288f443cfe842

“Let’s let them touch the paintings.”cf269b801e6acf38

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“But these are prints?”b7bb72c9e554a992

“We can paint parts of them for real. Even if it’s just simple large brush strokes, they can feel the texture of the paint with their hands.”48a26b6f08749b67

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I smiled at Saebyeok, who still hadn’t gathered his thoughts.df8ca9505079d617

“Hey, we’ve painted so much at school that we’re sick of it. What’s a little more?”e04b4c82e0358fc6

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And that’s how I dug my own grave.1584455617a34643

e1d62b1936a9d9f2

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