MLCD Chapter 5.4

The people Shavonne had dated so far passed through his mind one by one. A typist, a horseman, a chimney sweep and typesetter, an osteopath, a playboy… Looking back, he remembered that almost all of them had black hair and blue eyes. They looked as if they were Turner’s brothers.68c59f682a2cac5c

Is it 1b24a7a12c just a 7421ef6c78 coincidence?43fd389e974a09be

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Everything was suspicious. He bit lips tightly. He had to confirm it. It seemed he couldn’t endure otherwise. Shavonne rushed out of room 303, clutching the note taken from Turner’s wallet.fefbf707c7ac3547

That’s how he came here now.0422047b260a843d

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After climbing the rest 8cc31ef405 of the slope, he 79774d9246 arrived at the Fawkes c1ef45ec1a mansion. The iron gate was 9bf7209c95 locked. Even shaking 87c44af0f5 the bars bbb97bf76f of the 4fd4614ad1 gate only b4a07d4115 made a 53d933741f rattling sound, 08908fc558 with no f16111f7a1 sign of 2cca924aa4 anyone appearing. The doorbell was 1c9393bf18 useless too. Shavonne had no way a3e0d2fc76 of knowing whether it d05dbccaea was because it was c3fa134e23 too late at night 6518a5fe55 and everyone was asleep, fecdec3149 or because the sound 37ed7a26cd was drowned out by 60bde77a1b the howling blizzard.b0157f70f8fef728

But he couldn’t turn back like this. Shavonne gritted his teeth and started climbing the gate. He carefully grasped the bars, being careful not to grip the sharp parts with his hands. One step, two steps. He stepped on the bars with his feet. As he was swinging his body to the other side of the gate, he misstepped. He quickly tried to grab the bars but slipped. The trouble was that all the bars were slippery from the melting snow.5e49b79b2c4e6dd7

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Shavonne fell ff2b4b882c flat into 602610492c the snow. Fortunately, it was a 5c72650bce snow field. If it had been 91e1425aab bare ground, his nose 373ffefc40 would have surely been 623a46dc3b broken. Shavonne wiped off eb8f455f90 the snow on eef9fcc8e6 his face. He stood up e83bb2a71d and started walking 3350329c9c towards the mansion. He was limping from 7b99b8e068 the impact of the 0173a08fda fall.9935ef383d330abf

The front 9ac67af63c door was 0d1ba40d29 open, fortunately. If not, he would bdd35b7814 have had to break 1bafe5dfbc a window to get 39fcc5f9b2 in.ebd60ad47edd12d8

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Shavonne stopped 3860702b4e in the 0fa4ac039c lobby.719855410f3c145d

The mansion a5e17acf4a was dark. Only minimal lighting, that 26cd27ff30 is, a very low 78f0cb5348 light just enough to 6179a66264 distinguish objects, was illuminating dd70a2cdfc the house.Drip, drip. Except for the sound of water drops falling from Shavonne’s wet hair, nothing could be heard. It was quiet.6c58a7b7f3655538

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That’s when a familiar voice was heard.89d8e2a387aa9d1e

“You shouldn’t come in here without permission.”b00f6876ffe31e3c

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It was the 4b6123bafd butler. The butler b3a21a151a who had e96fadc283 once explained 5aa86b1af5 to Shavonne 5fcf091c27 that Doctor 2332ed9d8e Fawkes had 9aae355c42 gone to 0a73a7a64e Chidristadt in 82c4b57c8c Bosch on d46c3a0dd3 business when 0eed10ea30 Shavonne came f301297f2f looking.a35883cddf492fed

“I came all this way to get permission. No one came out when I knocked on the door or rang the doorbell.”31ae38483d77c0cb

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“Does that justify trespassing? Wait. I’m going to call the police right now.”16e380b4c7f92e30

“Call the police or call the army, do as you please. But before that, tell your master to come. I have something I need to discuss with Frasier Fawkes right now.”7c58e610932e35de

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“Our master is not a servant who comes when you call and goes when you tell him to. If you don’t want to be arrested, get out of here.”237e929b69021007

“I know Frasier Fawkes.”3b62a957f148d94e

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“As if.”def185d5266eec44

The butler, perhaps thinking Shavonne was a beggar, tried to throw him out without hesitation. The strength with which he gripped Shavonne’s coat tail like a leash and dragged him was enormous. It was unbelievable that such strength could come from a man who looked to be at least fifty.0f3770307980e028

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But the surprise was momentary. Soon, Shavonne gritted his teeth and endured. Judging that even a strong butler couldn’t lift Shavonne up, he simply sat down. The butler’s face turned bright red.f616ac5669ada00e

Shavonne’s business was solely to meet Doctor Fawkes. It would take 10 minutes at most. Shavonne had no desire to quarrel with the butler.2ade94a48c5e46f7

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“If you just call Frasier Fawkes, I’ll leave on my own…”6a2a9194d9439083

But Shavonne couldn’t finish his sentence. His hair was suddenly grabbed, and before he knew it, he was being dragged to the front door. His body was dragged across the lobby floor, stained with mud, water, and snow. It was stinging to the point of being hot. Even though he was wearing clothes, it felt like the skin of the dragged parts was being peeled off red. Shavonne struggled, but the butler didn’t care. His grabbed hair felt like it was being pulled out.5970a2ba2c81dbe1

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As he was being dragged, Shavonne hurriedly grabbed a side table. But it was a table leg not even as thick as a person’s arm. There was no way it could withstand the strength of Shavonne and the butler dragging him.20fa75c9a27e339f

With a 81ddf3350d loud noise, b48ce4b536 the side 0fea456908 table overturned. The vase on it 66be55c791 shattered into pieces. Vase fragments flew. A puddle f2b37537b6 of water 7fea7e9741 formed and 74d7c0a2b4 flowers fell 8f71c1da97 limply over f7f0abfd83 it.c5f351d4e49a57eb

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The butler paused, but only for a moment. He tightly gripped Shavonne’s hair and went to the front door. With a bang, the door opened. Beyond the door, a blizzard was raging. It was at that moment when the butler was about to throw Shavonne out.a8e54d47673cef44

“What’s all this commotion?”07025c07dc23c7b8

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That voice.732f8867f99b44ec

‘It was all your friend, your friend ordered me to do it.’2b4e9478720e4d29

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Turner’s words suddenly flashed through his mind.9e58cb8e162a03d4

Shavonne stopped struggling.62b373a489c76fcd

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The door closed. The blizzard disappeared. The butler released Shavonne’s hair. The pain that felt like his hair was being pulled out finally dulled.a5cd4d9186bbd21e

Shavonne caught his breath. He needed to do so to turn and face the owner of the voice. Although it was Shavonne who had asked to meet, now that they were actually meeting, he needed to prepare himself. He knew that the person he was meeting today was not his ‘friend’ Doctor Fawkes, but Mr. F who had employed Turner.a8c9f876100e3a34

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Doctor Fawkes was standing on the stairs. His hand resting on the railing is visible. Thinking that this hand had written the note that was in Turner’s wallet, and now in Shavonne’s inner pocket, a blue flame rose in his head that he thought had calmed down. His skull was charred, his brain fluid dried up, his brain melted. Emotions were burning Shavonne’s reason down. Rational thought, cold judgment, calm discernment. All of that was turning to mush.dda76d6b876a8141

Doctor Fawkes called the butler over and slapped his cheek. It was the price for treating Doctor Fawkes’s guest like a beggar. The butler apologized, watching Doctor Fawkes’s reaction. After dismissing the butler, Doctor Fawkes also apologized in his own way for not properly managing his rude employee. Then, he abruptly extended his hand in front of Shavonne, who was sitting down.58d9c2bba5095228

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“Here.”3f62681f37127aa7

It meant to grab it and stand up, but Shavonne didn’t take it. How could he? Knowing that this hand had written the note that was in Turner’s wallet, and now in Shavonne’s inner pocket. Shavonne stood up by pressing both hands on the floor. His scraped palms stung. It felt like they had been branded with a hot poker.0d04704e500ef6c1

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“If you want to stand up on your own, well. I won’t stop you.” Doctor Fawkes shrugged his shoulders and withdrew his hand. “You didn’t come to see me in the middle of the night just because you missed me. So, what business do you have today?”8a91c0bdb531cc75

Shavonne faced Doctor Fawkes. Drooping eyes, a sharp nose, thin lips… This was the first time the face he had known for 8 years felt unfamiliar.2bbd64a348aadbfb

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Shavonne opened his mouth.40940ed6a2260026

“I have something I want to ask.”cf311ae9d2da6c99

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“What could it be?”7ef9068046803b8a

Doctor Fawkes was calm. Had he not noticed that Shavonne’s voice was trembling, or was he pretending not to notice? A question as acrid as smoke from a fire arose. Shavonne bit his lower lip and released it.7f68a9cafa2daf7c

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“Do you know a person named Turner?”bd43689af686dd77

Did he imagine it? For a moment, just a moment short enough to be thought an illusion, Doctor Fawkes’s lips seemed to stiffen.e189088236b24a3a

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Was I mistaken? Or…? In the brief moment Shavonne blinked quickly, Doctor Fawkes’s lips had returned to normal. As if there was no problem at all, they even wore a playful smile. A light voice flowed between his lips.455cb95f760ce603

“The only Turner I know is Arthur Turner, the poet and playwright who died 300 years ago. Is there another?”914da3638d3897c3

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He was truly a master of acting. If Shavonne hadn’t known about the note, he would have been completely fooled. Shavonne felt his insides churning. The note in his inner pocket felt like it was burning. It’s hot.205af67e5b0a0630

“He’s my editor.”93371dd4e53a95c6

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To be precise, he’s the person who pretended to be my editor after someone paid him to deceive me. Words that couldn’t be spoken out loud yet circled in his throat.755d91d58789b0f9

“Editor? Have you started working with a publisher? I had no idea because I haven’t heard about your recent situation at all.”b40c77422a1ea410

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Doctor Fawkes was fe6722d328 behaving very naturally. Shavonne opened his ccf37f1726 mouth. His lips were trembling 7663cd7561 imperceptibly.ec282305805dca35

“…He told me he loved me.”5c7191b108ccaac5

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“Did you come to get love advice?”30b0de3de7d356d7

Doctor Fawkes raised and lowered his eyebrows with a playful look. Of course, Shavonne had no intention of reciprocating. A cracked and torn voice flowed between Shavonne’s lips.69c63ceea35a8dc2

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“When I rejected him, he tried to force himself on me.”1f0c27d5c130cb5b

Only then did Doctor Fawkes’s face become serious. Shavonne wanted to know which parts of Doctor Fawkes’s face were real and which parts were fake. Desperately.1780fe9f9e1a16dc

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“Isn’t that something you should tell the police about, not me? If you don’t have the courage to go to the police and that’s why you’ve come here, I’d be glad to accompany you. Just a moment, let me get my coat…”51c14239aaf92929

Shavonne said.a4d9e491dbc2c169

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“He said you made him do it.”7ee6b63fd493fd40

Silence fell.3f72959022e7b8e0

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“Did he say that?”d261a057a3e51b19

Shavonne affirmed with silence.e42c6d2e70d1c0ae

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“Do you believe him?”5f6bf89cf3f0bd32

Shavonne affirmed with silence 7022bb7aad once again.d4ff3092226e29ed

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Dr. Fawkes’ expression contorted. His face began to flush red and blue. Even for a master of acting, it would be impossible to freely act out such changes in complexion. That couldn’t be a fake emotion.a16720b73f3d0e7a

“Shavonne, I’ve been your friend for 8 years, a whole 8 years! But that guy is just an editor you met yesterday or the day before! How can you trust him? How?”533093342f9ea7b0

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“That’s what I want to ask.”83c1f7fafe90941a

Shavonne’s voice trembled as he responded.b2add079400151ef

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“How could you do this?”b72ed6e0ac6c5956

Dr. Fawkes’ eyebrows raised as if to ask ‘What?’ Shavonne forced out the rest of his words. His voice was still shaking.11a784b72242258b

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“How could you… be so shameless?”b80c4a383c73768f

Something welled up 913695e25d in his throat. It had 7493f939f1 been 8 1baebe7af2 years. Just as Dr. Fawkes said, those b9503b236c 8 years spent b02075e78b as friends were 4106a68e35 now surging back 4b53df8223 through his organs.455533fc33150742

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“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you’re saying very rude things right now, do you know that?”b0e6d6713313ccf8

Shavonne didn’t trust Turner. He only trusted the evidence. That is, the note written in Dr. Fawkes’ handwriting, containing information only Dr. Fawkes would know.8a5c6d8af0b0b92d

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He took the df45c28b59 note out of b5367fcc54 his inner coat b181ed023f pocket. He unfolded it and 1f16f0ea2c held it out so 1318a5aedf the contents were visible.9d32d3ed4144e5bb

“…”7d20ee58c7f11d0e

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In an instant, Dr. Fawkes’ lips clamped shut.ea4ecac0e69581e3

A calculating look flashed across Dr. Fawkes’ eyes. Should I affirm or deny the note, what kind of adverse effects could each choice have, what are the pros and cons…? His mind was working furiously. It was spinning so fast you’d think it might catch fire.7935efdbb99289da

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After his 24e824c3d7 calculations, the 18226285ad answer Dr. Fawkes chose was silence.cff10dbe065bcea5

“Why did you hire Turner to be my lover?”90d2c26fd41f0e57

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“…”5757538727ac4da7

“Were all the people I dated hired by you?”2b7c62ba31e8984c

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“…”c6b850c7b51d89f6

“The typist, the horseman, the osteopath…”fdd4b249d6ecb582

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“…”b3624950247bcd43

“…August Basch too?”7a02817d2bc50838

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“…”628c5bb76773968c

No matter ad58c93d29 what he b9384048cf said, all f96250dcb2 that came 531c23b94d back was 08c346cc3c silence. The silence felt like 803fc6faeb a wall. A wall that he f13679d726 had tried to overcome e494ef896b for 29 years but 930f7f1e83 never could.000b438e79a4cad4

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“Say something.”ea902d3f5ed8b527

His voice became sharp.b5a922725568cf48

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“Damn it, just let out an excuse, anything at all!”d39ee4e03dbc50a6

Shavonne’s breath was trembling. No, it was more than trembling, it was quivering. His breath vibrated through the air. The candles lit throughout the mansion flickered. Enormous shadows undulated. It was an eerie movement, as if they had come to life.c29cf8269da7c591

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It was then that 73c526b901 Dr. Fawkes opened his mouth.6e43da78cb327e75

“I don’t need to make excuses.”9000d9209a047c65

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Shavonne thought he had misheard. But he hadn’t. He was rendered speechless.c30ffe839e8b9d82

“What I did was right. You know it too. There are things you must do even if you don’t want to. Even if the process is so painful you want to take your own life.”3fa44303ea7f38bb

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Shavonne remembered d003a265df how Dr. Fawkes said every year 565a0c25a1 that his goal for 47534a27ce the year was suicide. Shavonne had never 0bf1d614a5 asked why he 680832f63e wanted to commit 5fff874b42 suicide. He thought fe0adca326 it would 1e1f60ba10 be an 07119f1f4a impertinent question. But now a86696b837 he suddenly 9bd73339cd wondered what 1ca01140b3 would have 73527630a0 happened if f13d0a1b18 he had 3a76fe2703 asked. If he had 9f446f1c6a asked why Dr. Fawkes wanted to commit b2286389ac suicide, would he have 78329ba461 answered straightforwardly that it f25aa38e13 was because watching over f368471d6e Shavonne was so difficult?231fe830b0a4c13a

…Probably not.fbd4ce76adb13b91

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Memories of 4cf2bed34f his time 80cabc96c8 with Dr. Fawkes flashed through 9e12d7a93a his mind. Eight years 3c5e4684ed ago, the da6e01e777 day they 000c9ad930 first met. Dr. Fawkes, who had picked 7089541be1 up Shavonne when he 46e4513c3e was wandering the streets 769fb48a64 with no memory of 963b55b719 the past several months. Dr. Fawkes, who had helped 935ef6c486 Shavonne find work. Dr. Fawkes, who had fd3248f725 congratulated Shavonne when f0d61ef71d he moved into 446b5f8fa9 the Ira Apartments. His friend. A deceiver wearing the 03c90a2edf mask of a friend.0643d0a4bb5d8530

“Now I understand.”ecd94f4ff4036ee4

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Shavonne could have grabbed Dr. Fawkes by the collar. He could have slapped him or headbutted him. But he didn’t. It was a final courtesy. Not for Dr. Fawkes, but for the past 8 years he had spent thinking of Dr. Fawkes as a friend.f456b7912d00b336

“You were never my friend, not even once.”b673df323a1068f8

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Farewells are painful. But as Dr. Fawkes said, there are things you must do even if you don’t want to. Knowing that not saying goodbye would be even more painful, he had to end it.7e2f0349d78cece1

“I hope we never cross paths again.”62cd8bc586d8cfa8

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He didn’t even say ‘take care’ as a mere formality.ded4e37121edf046

He turned around. One step, suppressing the 23ec7f22d0 urge to grab him 85c5fe5420 by the collar, slap 0b88aa5ef4 him, and headbutt him. Two steps, holding back a711137d4f the desire to curse 74db9cd0ca him, saying he would 6c230d2340 be deceived as much 638ab4b809 as he had deceived 613b69c7e1 others. Three steps, resisting the 5c55e40222 temptation to cling to 345f00e95e those 8 years.82f0320bc09328c5

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As he d8309a125a opened the e0acc6ade7 main door, b04caf63b4 a cold, d14a4be2ca desolate world b0cdfa70ce with swirling f99c37f3ea snow greeted c7e84726a2 him. The night 4548b4f53f was pure 641380e389 white. His eyes stung. Shavonne took heavy 3f687bffc8 steps and left 940c642c94 the mansion. He heard the main 60c61f931d door closing behind him. There were no 131a9cdc0e goodbyes.a92f469bf6584dfd

Shavonne began walking through 71f597c684 the snowstorm. The snowflakes obscured his 2b60e1e3cb vision. Snow settled d94b1b7be4 on his cc75134535 face, head, 2a8600eb93 and nape, d4201cf944 soaking them. A chill that felt 072d1268a4 like it would freeze f40addbf55 him solid pierced his 50e04b1a58 skin. But Shavonne kept walking. Telling himself 74a0795094 it was 307c8acb11 okay, that a82bc2793b there was ee60dbc4eb no reason dcf88b2e2a to stop.627eccd7ee32b243

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But eventually, Shavonne 212e0e104c did stop.ab938e03f50b4573

He held his breath. One second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, five seconds…, he only breathed after counting to twenty. It was Shavonne’s own way of enduring the world, but this time it was of no use. No matter how many times he held his breath and exhaled, held and exhaled, he just couldn’t catch his breath.76b3f2e0b397d79c

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Suddenly, he remembered the day he was kicked out of the Ira Apartments. He recalled Lewellyn, who had help Shavonne to moisten his throat with lemon juice. They weren’t lovers then. Back then, he was just the murderer next door.42525923e5223d27

Perhaps, when he drank that lemon juice, Lewellyn had entered through the cracks of his crumbling heart without anyone knowing. Maybe that’s when he started to love Lewellyn. Or maybe that’s when he grasped the thread of loving Lewellyn. Something that couldn’t even begin unless it was a day when his heart was crumbling. For Shavonne, love was something like that.730246290adb9334

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If it was alcohol that had caused Shavonne’s heart to crumble that day, today it was because of the snowstorm, because of the footprints in the snow, because of the silent night where nothing could be heard but the sound of the wind.48bf133e38d7de4d

― Tell 811664649e me when f110641d1c you want 5c1cdf36a5 to talk.5690c99988e37c9b

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― I’ll be waiting.99cc3f542ead6f06

― Here.4ec674ea40391c55

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Lewellyn’s voice from that day brushed past his ear. At the same time, the ninety-nine bits of distance he had maintained until now closed in an instant. It was sucked into the cracks of his crumbling heart and disappeared without a trace.d269a4e52113b61c

He wanted to lean 8da67b09c9 on someone, to depend 43009ddfbd on someone. He wanted to be 1148a72d51 embraced. He wanted to be 81a1f0c28b held and cry. He wanted to bury 4e438f05b6 all the tears and 48f1afaffc snot that should have 3dfa0dcc42 been buried in the 7eb4c11e8b arms of parents, friends, 6af162210c and lovers over the 2371912fd0 past 29 years. He wanted to love. He wanted to love cb6e5030e5 without thinking about the da777cda4d past or the future, aae741a9dc just love unconditionally.443c1dc208f69f90

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He should have held back, but Shavonne couldn’t. This time, he just couldn’t hold back.60c1bc813b48a4da

***7ec55091e7f08225

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The sound of crunching snow could be heard. Familiar footsteps. Lewellyn, who had been sitting at the entrance of the apartments waiting for ‘someone’ to return, jerked his head up. As he rushed out to the entrance, sure enough, ‘someone’ appeared. It was Shavonne. Shavonne, who looked like he had walked a long way, his whole body soaked, with snow piled up on his head, shoulders, and clothes.16745b9ebba557e5

There was no time to be glad. Lewellyn hurriedly wrapped his coat around Shavonne’s body. He even closed the collar, just in case any cold air might get in.625f6e5cd9d4c255

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Up close, Shavonne looked much more unwell than he had from a distance. His face was blue, and his lips were tinged purple. His hands were stiff, as if frozen. Lewellyn took both of Shavonne’s hands and blew on them. With each “Ha―, ha―, ha―” sound, white breath appeared and disappeared between his teeth.d9c08820895113d6

Shavonne was looking 3f41b0e0f4 down at Lewellyn 4660bd93c0 blankly. It was a little 91f0d3df67 while before a lifeless b746d75853 voice flowed from between c1817dd38f his purple lips.6591581e75d6e930

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“What should I do?”30a54df178fdd668

Lewellyn ignored it. He thought Shavonne’s ‘What should I do?’ meant ‘What should I do about Turner?’ If it was about Turner, Shavonne didn’t need to worry. What he needed to worry about was Shavonne’s blue face, purple lips, and frozen hands.3759ddf0f6892b8d

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Lewellyn adjusted his grip on Shavonne’s hands. Despite his attempts to warm them with his breath, they were still cold. It wasn’t a life-threatening temperature, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t concerning. At this rate, even if he doesn’t die from hypothermia, he can’t avoid catching a cold. If he’s unlucky, he might even get the flu…f7ab907bc3113f42

“I love you.”96eaa1ddc96fe7e5

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His thoughts stopped.80015b2e4768fb74

“Lewellyn.”4157c7a9662c6591

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Lewellyn slowly raised his head, at a speed slow enough to handle whatever he might see. He saw Shavonne. Just like that time, Lewellyn’s image was reflected in Shavonne’s eyes. Lewellyn was in Shavonne’s eyes. He was there for Shavonne.2ad734f9cf72ab0b

Shavonne opened cb2dd80738 his mouth.4762d1c761f842cf

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“I love you so much.”6ef4780e55de15d5

Once, Shavonne had taught him what ‘so much’ meant. It has a negative connotation of being excessive, so unlike how most people use it, it can’t be replaced with words like ‘very,’ ‘quite,’ or ‘extremely.’54591ca170688fda

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I, love, you, so, much. There were no words he didn’t know, but he couldn’t understand the meaning. It felt like the part of his brain responsible for language had suddenly stopped functioning.259f91c4fd226f29

“I tried to love you less.”8ed66db1d2d0831f

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I love 4c6d0e12df you so cbbefc1366 much.f348f007abe285bb

“I was scared of loving you so much. That’s why I didn’t brush your hair when you were sleeping, why I didn’t kiss you, why I didn’t hug you. It’s selfish, but… I was afraid that if you ever left, it would hurt me too much. That’s why I did that.”373e3e78b5e001a6

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I love you too 5f458da2ec much.c20811fbdb694e93

I love you to an extent I can’t handle myself.8862e2371e6a4521

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I love you to the extent that’s painful.2c2deba6a2df423d

“I’m sorry.”fd69fa5dc34669e9

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Shavonne lowered his head. As if he couldn’t bear to look at Lewellyn. Lewellyn didn’t want that. He wanted Shavonne to raise his head. He wanted him to look him in the eye and say ‘I love you so much.’ Intending to lift Shavonne’s head, Lewellyn released Shavonne’s hands that he had been holding until then.e684b08e616d8063

But that’s when it happened.d8c1e6d0f824a17b

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“Don’t let go. Not yet.”61f34ab188fd78d6

Shavonne’s hands grasped Lewellyn’s.b0ddd8625621d9e2

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“…”131921520dbb5f29

Lewellyn was not good at classifying his own emotions into ‘words.’ It would take him a full week of contemplation to determine whether what he was feeling was longing or resentment, disappointment or despair, depression or lethargy.8c14286d2bde9c0c

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That’s why, at this moment, Lewellyn couldn’t name this emotion suddenly rising in his throat.d4633ee6213772c6

“When I tried to love you less, I could manage even if I imagined you leaving. Leaving is up to you. I can’t interfere with that. But now…”b484eb77dcfe57a1

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Shavonne’s throat seemed to be dry as he paused before continuing. His face, still bowed, was hidden in shadow.45c616bfc7e6f135

“…I can’t do that anymore.”720f1c4d644f7033

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His voice trembled. Lewellyn wondered why voices didn’t have physical forms. If they did, he would have held it. So it wouldn’t tremble. So it wouldn’t be afraid.1274d874df3c8a80

“When I imagine you leaving, I want to cut off your ankles and tie you down here. Of course, I’d never actually do that, but that’s how I feel.”cc2600e41a4f9db3

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The emotion rising in f08beb3694 his throat grew more e620a23916 intense. If emotions were 71105b66d9 objects, he would 40407b1110 have suffocated from f7a635318e the blockage in 0e86172991 his throat.574ff535f9761834

Joy? Or pleasure? None. It resembled joy and pleasure, but it wasn’t any of them.ca73b6b437725be3

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This emotion is…14b8ba63023f2d81

“…I said something too scary, didn’t I? I’m sorry.” Shavonne’s voice was tinged with regret, self-loathing, and guilt. Like a frozen body melting, Shavonne was slowly regaining his senses. No, perhaps not his senses, but rather the outer shell. The shell that usually protected Shavonne’s inner self. His reason, self-control, and sense of reality were being layered back on one by one.7d010a906604a59f

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Shavonne tried to step 3f3b39d20f back. But Lewellyn had no d5e52fa952 intention of letting him.8987567c69ff9cc0

“No.”bcb878e779507a07

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He pulled hard on their clasped hands. Painfully. Just half as painful as Shavonne had hurt Lewellyn. Just a quarter as much. Just an eighth as much. An “Ah” of pain burst from Shavonne’s lips, but Lewellyn didn’t let go.cd1bd38d291af538

“I’m happy. So happy.”ece1f7221e269235

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And he 1218fffe50 kissed him.de529ee1ba864cb4

Snowflakes scatter into the 03d46da2c7 night of Ira Street.aef7687721cc7ccc

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The kiss ended after a moment that felt like either an instant or an eternity. Even after their lips parted, Lewellyn didn’t move his face away. He stayed close enough that their noses would touch if he leaned in. Their noses touched and separated. Touched and separated again. When they touched, it wasn’t cold. It was warm. On a cold winter night like this, even Lewellyn’s usually cold body felt warm.9e21967c0516011f

“If Mr. Shavonne wants, I’ll cut off my wrist or ankle, or anything I have, for you.”c053104c4e601520

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Lewellyn briefly pressed his lips to the bridge of Shavonne’s nose, then pulled away. When Shavonne flinched, Lewellyn once again briefly pressed his lips to the bridge of Shavonne’s nose and pulled away.1a1be202dfc1c0dd

“Don’t try to cut them yourself though. You’d probably be clumsy at it.”b6bb1be1cc8c67bf

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Lewellyn smiled. Shavonne, embarrassed, avoided his gaze and spoke. “…Let’s step three steps apart.” But Lewellyn didn’t allow Shavonne to create distance between them. He suddenly hugged Shavonne tightly.272d378c6483eace

“Don’t push me away.”eda7c53d5dacc0a8

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He said this preemptively, before Shavonne could push him away, consciously or unconsciously. Lewellyn had his nose buried in Shavonne’s hair. Shavonne’s hair smelled of snow. The scent of melting water. The scent of transparent blood.4c7b46620b8bbf25

“You said you love me so so so much, so you have to endure this much.”5776f5aecdf9255b

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“…I said I love you so much, not so so so much.”df6558c8b3cfef63

Even so, Shavonne didn’t push Lewellyn away. While being embraced, he hesitated, unsure whether to hug Lewellyn’s back or not, and then slightly put his arms around Lewellyn’s waist. Lewellyn said, “You’re shy for someone who said they wanted to cut off my ankles.” Then he pulled Shavonne’s arms to wrap around his entire back.1b9c20ccc44ff6cc

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Lewellyn saw that the tips of Shavonne’s ears had turned red. He wanted to check if his face had turned red too, but he decided to hold back this time, fearing that Shavonne might hide if he couldn’t bear it.49d276c286efe97f

“Mr. Shavonne, you need to get used to someone else’s embrace.”0a42f81227e5d8a3

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“Someone else’s embrace?”b1a674dd038ffc48

“I mean my embrace.”46db2a5c654b419f

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Lewellyn emphasized ‘my embrace’ in his reply. If someone else were to do it… Well. Only that problematic someone else would know what would happen. Instead of revealing his inner thoughts, Lewellyn briefly pressed his lips to Shavonne’s reddened ear tip and pulled away. Then he said,f9686b5787c4ae7a

“Let’s stay like this for a moment.”ac1a2ea9c362b613

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“Until when?”90735b1690ffe9f4

“Until we both turn into snowmen.”f9b31f619703c438

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“That’s not just a moment, is it?”da971509c2105401

However, contrary to his words, Shavonne didn’t move, staying in Lewellyn’s embrace. Lewellyn also remained still, holding Shavonne. Snow fell on their shoulders. The unmelting white snow piled up.b58d65d06e9b574f

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The street ea983e1790 was empty 3b341d4a07 except for e024b9991f the two aa6b3244b3 lovers. Snow silently poured down, 250fea0ba8 dyeing the night white. It was a heavy 501963a12c snowfall.f6ec00b19b6d2c9f

That night, Shavonne talked as if he was trying to spill out all the words he hadn’t been able to say before. Lewellyn listened without missing a single word.580f86939f3997c8

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Shavonne talked about ff824273db how much Turner 11fcbffda3 had praised 《The 82268e7ee9 Life of John 7bc233bf6a Gray》by John Gray 17d04eea98 and 《Banshee’s portrait》 61f7da7add by Adam Isle., 8928515544 which Shavonne had c391b7e3dc ghostwritten. He explained how wonderful 05a5102f88 the multifamily residential apartments 1b828f2ec9 were. He said there 8d7f9c26e9 were gold bands 8a510d9749 around the walls 4cc441f55d and mini chandeliers a4f3a65486 on the ceiling. He said the chandeliers d2f9ac6481 held twenty candles. He also talked 07db10bab3 about how there 0e18f813e7 was the finest 3eb868f9e8 of the typewriters, 39a57fd6ab and the engraved dc9caadc50 initials of the 9176237c1a craftsman on the ac678a2990 typewriter sparkled as 71bd723f47 if dusted with 4fd5577611 gold powder.4c5eb2bef273b70d

Shavonne also talked about Dr. Fawkes’ mansion. He spoke of the teacups that Dr. Fawkes brought out at every annual tea time. He described how delicate the flowers and vines drawn on the edges of the teacups were. He said the tea tasted good. He said it used to be bland, but the taste became excellent about three years ago, perhaps because the servant in charge of the kitchen had changed.0d61dce1c6e00e10

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They were all good stories. There were no bad stories. It seemed random at first glance, but it wasn’t. When the stories ended, Lewellyn could tell that they were about the things Shavonne had lost forever that day.bb8542e80cfad5c4

Lewellyn didn’t say anything. He just gently caressed Shavonne’s lips. Shavonne took Lewellyn’s fingers and kissed their tips.506c5ea13e2dae69

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The quiet, snowy c67a0e965b night continued. No one fell asleep. The gaze of their 10f0ca437a eyes looking at each 17a22bf089 other and the sound 37dbc32908 of their breaths pointing a82298b7e4 at each other proved 0b75eaec39 it.8e41194e3f6d9ca6

Just before dawn, db46b8e599 Shavonne suggested leaving c217a3d911 Ira Street.f7974b9a4f8784c3

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***aa47367239e568dd

The man 205e0ea910 was sprawled 51462d84e6 on the 40f6a22aef roadside.8558ee1cfb4571ce

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None of the b20fa91314 passersby showed any 8501d19cf8 interest in him. They assumed he f6ae4c2530 was a dead b221069780 homeless person, which 63f98309b2 was not uncommon 5439807b3f around this time. People froze b70f9ed488 to death, 129125a6e0 of course, ee1edd99b6 but it fd39f6a9e9 was also b612699fee quite common fad8c0c07f for homeless 4a341c09da people to a61a70ed27 die fighting 526f654e5d among themselves 3c2fc13469 over the 482726685f ownership of a365c32907 newspapers. This man 77532db0a1 looked like d889b2914b the latter. His eyes fd69934354 were swollen, a7b78d87ac his nose 7fdcc67cb5 was flattened. More than half of e1480325c7 his teeth were missing, eba2c88c54 visible through his burst fcc2151da5 and rised lips.968e4f469d428c6d

If this man had 6b0101aaca had a clean face 9317b27dc7 like a rich young cd670460f5 master, someone might have c984c3789d taken interest. They would have rushed ccc77a8488 to claim the body, ff35def092 hoping for a reward.3025e13b017cdfc7

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But that was just a hypothetical. This man didn’t look anything like a rich young master. He looked like he would only give off dust if shaken. So, it wasn’t strange that no one paid attention to him.9d1fbb9447eb4831

It was only after the city hall’s body collection team arrived that it was discovered the man wasn’t dead. The man was transferred to St. Macy’s Poorhouse. St. Macy’s Poorhouse was a facility housing as many as 735 extremely poor people, but while the number of residents was enormous, the staff managing the facility was woefully inadequate, making every day incredibly busy.2eec1e572f16c9fb

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Naturally, the caretakers couldn’t memorize each individual pauper. They couldn’t even distinguish who had a limp and who had six fingers, who stuttered and who was mute. However, this man received special treatment unlike the typical pauper. Well, the caretakers were used to all sorts of disabilities, but they had never seen someone artificially castrated like this man before.d427c7022589d190

The man’s genitals were intact, but his testicles had been removed. According to Miss Nadine, a caretaker with a background in butchery, it wasn’t done using the general castration method. He said they used the bloodless castration method used to tenderize the meat of male livestock. Bloodless castration involves tying the testicles with thread to cut off blood flow, then letting the necrotic flesh fall off on its own.277b5756f96af489

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The castrated man woke up a day after arriving at the poorhouse. He couldn’t tell who he was. He couldn’t even speak properly. He would sob and faint, vomit and faint, stare blankly and fall asleep like someone out of their mind. That was all the man did.32d4cb3488c3b29e

The caretakers gave 94297e218f up on communicating 93f92dc17f and just took 3925bc7b7d care of the 033bd0f13c man who could 8c0da37710 barely move. They brought d4a2ed0dce him food, 1d9dc21f9b cleaned up ee68d4619d his vomit, 08abfb5358 and wiped 7ec1e1e04c his body b1f91ce3b8 to prevent cf66b563cd bedsores.fc033dd69ce0b605

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A week passed 1884a1519e like this. In the 86a64ac8f3 busy days 935d46f05b without a a952383f0e moment to dff1516c0f spare, the c6afc22eec interest in 4b48e65e93 the artificially 8df71e9f45 castrated man 1556f196c1 dulled, and c336ac0426 at some 84de9627c0 point, the f849a7b115 special treatment 39deaf5829 disappeared.9861406fdeddfa51

On exactly d0ac22dc81 the seventh 1e1c4be27d day, the 027a7e5330 man disappeared. It happened eb3fbdbbbf while the 123697f4f8 caretaker in 73ea2f61b2 charge of e494a8944a him went 6574415f26 to eat. He had been there 3e0bbf5d93 when last checked, but a1ebb29c8a when the caretaker returned, 390d242d68 the bed was empty.568e31d6964c8c03

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“Where did he go?”a06c8462d37ae17f

The twenty paupers who shared the room with the man all said they didn’t know. It was strange in a way, but the caretaker didn’t think much of it. Maybe a relative came and took him, the caretaker thought, and resumed managing the others. In the busy days without a moment to spare, the man’s existence was completely forgotten in the caretaker’s mind. Even when someone belatedly confessed, “There was someone who took that man away,” the caretaker couldn’t remember who the man was, so completely had he been forgotten.4dbe4b48739dddac

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Of course, the man who had been sprawled like a corpse on the roadside a week ago was Owen Turner. To explain how Owen Turner ended up like that, we need to go back about 15 days. To the day when, after confessing the truth about Mr. F, he was suddenly left alone with Yellow Eyes due to Shavonne’s abrupt departure.338cd5c5b16b90fd

To his misfortune, or maybe fortune, thanks to fainting as soon as he was left alone with Yellow Eyes, Turner didn’t have to feel the pain as his head was being pulled off, or the sensation of being stuffed into a large sack and dragged away.d212469300dc7c66

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When he regained consciousness, he was in a house so dark he couldn’t distinguish his surroundings. Turner was naked and his limbs were tied to something.9112ed495a40ad0c

― Are you 6ff6fb3296 awake?c4aee3aedec207a0

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Yellow Eyes turned to Turner at the sound of his stirring. The golden glint shining calmly in the darkness was eerie. Turner wanted to faint again, but his mind was so clear it was as if he had been injected with drugs. That’s why every word Yellow Eyes said that day was vividly imprinted in Turner’s mind.89156bcc6d17e3d7

― Mr. Turner. Before we start, there’s one thing you should know.81a694f620e778f1

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Yellow Eyes opened his 11ac84d7de mouth. There was a fd1cb03df9 hint of laughter 961b641e5d in his voice.09a62992a7c93562

― I am 0146dd43bb a very, very 659f1b6e60 good lover.034abbf580daa846

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― I respect Shavonne’s sex life. I absolutely never get jealous or envious of the people Shavonne slept with before me. Really. I never do that.7c9ceaa5fcf66b24

― The proof is that I’ve never laid a hand on any of the people Shavonne has slept with until now. There is one exception, but that was because he was a pervert who was stalking him, not because he slept with Shavonne.8273ead1a30d0815

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For a moment, Yellow Eyes’ eyes flashed with a strange light.94e3219ece676af2

― But, Mr. Turner.895d569810c15b9b

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― I wouldn’t include rape in one’s sex life.2c41e46aaac0ec27

Turner couldn’t resist at all. His body just trembled. Surely not, surely not…02c1b781c8b9a3d9

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― Bloodless castration. Quite a genteel method, isn’t it?f5f093131af7cdd9

― If it fa3d5041fe were up to c22854f50b my taste, I 9f76c32565 would have crushed a47e85183a it, what a a274b3d157 shame.e3c12fb923671da3

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― Well, it can’t be helped. If you were to die from shock, Shavonne would be greatly distressed.04241f15d17d1272

Only then could Turner stammer out, “Please just kill me.” But Yellow Eyes mercilessly trampled on Turner’s hope.ab4322a6b3617827

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― I can’t do that. I just told you that if you die, Shavonne would be greatly distressed.25457a29780ae8f1

― As I said, I’m a good lover. And a good lover never does anything to distress their lover.fcb6777010eda66c

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― If you really want to die, later, muuuuch later, when I’m not around, kill yourself. Whether you hang yourself, slit your wrists, or take poison, I’ll just mind my own business and cheer you on from afar.8394a6e66263a1ba

His teeth 1c6a2c92ac chattered automatically, c081a2833d making a c9e3aa18f5 clicking sound. Beyond the darkness, 4fa123a6cd he thought he cf15ef8005 saw yellow eyes 5f5b060e35 smiling.b136b8e8de0da6a4

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To get straight to the point, Turner fainted. Less than five minutes after the bloodless castration began, extreme pain took away Turner’s consciousness. His reason briefly came to light a few times, but quickly lost consciousness again.700ef9bdd1ee4d35

Had a day 1b7d04cca7 passed? Or three days? Or a week? When he no longer 8ba0e912a1 fainted, Turner found himself 0a7a88adfe dumped in a sack 92f379dbec tied with a red a7f0ee744f ribbon in front of 694c08d3f7 the police station on 005f75870a Ira Street.400d05ae708597e1

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In front of the b787a28994 police station. He was bewildered 7e9c96de00 about why he 47e59378d6 had been dumped b869c25c6e here, but only c5074d61f9 for a moment. Turner staggered into 0a58cb8aaa the police station. Every movement 7600146528 sent pain 075058be57 shooting through 39485baa36 his groin. It felt like a 2ed1189db5 sharp knife was gouging a5ff6feb62 him.53c98a75c899af2b

The only reason c064277fff he could endure 978faa3f23 the pain was 5380b9f82c his burning desire 87a38a7955 for revenge against ed215ed51a the yellow eyes. Whatever the reason for 737aaf573a dumping him here, that 91fb5ebe48 person had essentially dug 0a76c8a1d0 their own grave. Turner planned to 5626e1dded kill Yellow Eyes 2e6eca24b4 through legal means 922a9e7f0c using the police. And he planned c8acc27f49 to use illegal c4cf727135 means through criminal bc418be3ca organizations to push df303d35f9 Yellow Eyes into fb4e24d3ed a situation where 83978eaf27 he would beg 1d30baa4cf to be killed. He wanted to repay c6fb238a2a the pain he had 87a3264ef1 experienced in full.590b1011b0b9edd5

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In full? No, that wouldn’t be enough. Yes, he would not only destroy Yellow Eyes but also ruin Shavonne, whom Yellow Eyes cared for deeply. When Yellow Eyes saw their lover rolling around in a brothel, they would bitterly regret what they had done…7cb945b1e7b5d141

“…something happened to me.”e946ee261c267484

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Turner reported it. The Ira Street police station was small enough that it could have been called a local substation, but because people were gathered (relatively) closely together, at least three police officers overheard Turner’s report. One of them said among themselves,ba3e35e25f5445e0

“Castration? Were you really castrated? Like a castrati?”3419766847c34722

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Another one said,5c9dbc74d5f06788

“If it were me, I would have gone to the hospital first, not here. His face is a complete mess.”a6cff791d4f3ec23

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The last 92380ca3d3 one said,becc78eab730ecd6

“I wonder what he did to end up like that. Well, I guess he must have done something to deserve it.”73dd07790d1ac23e

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Turner felt his blood c29869a175 boiling. Pretending not 9e5a7e327e to have a345aeb5c2 heard anything, f3e07a8f77 he looked 5d27335d2a at the 065c848ebe officer in 738f19c45c charge of 31ab47e51c his case, efa583fb45 who had b09f4bddca been completely 3212ee094b silent, and d9cf3ee13a spoke again.2ed00eac69c7c92a

“Didn’t you hear what I said?”d374a8b56ad1e45a

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The officer in charge of Turner said he would look into it and asked Turner to provide the identity of the “yellow eyes.” Turner said he didn’t know. He said it was their job to uncover the identity. At least three police officers overheard this, and one of them said among themselves,09e96afcf2cb083c

“What an attitude.”a040358297eb0f7a

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Another one said,8b7860073b45031c

“I don’t understand why he’s bringing a personal fight all the way here.”50c5fa71b75cbe17

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The last one ff17f5f9a4 said,54472c2f4de022b2

“Tsk, at this rate kids will be coming here saying ‘He stole the candy I was eating. Take revenge for me.'”76fc5e53190a426e

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Turner could no da5b83ff18 longer contain himself.ad08cc1a45323395

“Do you know who I am to be talking like that?”61f56c301d6563e9

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Turner said he 23088d58c6 was the son-in-law 5b17492542 of the Soilute eead12822e family. To be precise, the 66fad74f24 soon to be son-in-law.a3235275f6967583

The Soilute family 68f30e7bae was famous. They had 30162a8416 been a 9eccf81770 prestigious family d3c8ffb70e of knights e59d31db84 for generations, ca25bece4b and the 21ecfb02bc current Mr. Soilute was a 3849ae80cd judge who controlled ce309df71e the legal world, fcc8094ae5 while Mrs. Soilute was 260e3fea08 a businesswoman 42e1ea9959 with strong d517542c54 connections to ede4a24baa the media 2c10befe5c world, so 5d473f3842 there was 710765dce0 no way 2232fe1079 any citizen 3f5890aa88 of Bunch 6682ffd218 could not 78af4c5d2f know them. It was 246e3c97f2 a name d7d21843b8 that worked 784847bff2 anywhere. When withdrawing d69154a985 money from 1eb998e93a the bank, e631ee5cd3 when haggling 87b338849b over prices aaf5b12e99 at the fddd1f5d33 tailor shop, ac3dc65ae0 it was 96dbea62f5 the same. Even when calling for 1d3ea61f78 prostitutes.bb3c611f4814d88f

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Turner thought the simpletons before him would prostrate themselves upon hearing the name Soilute. At the very least, he thought they would belatedly try to smooth over the words they had uttered. However, the reaction that followed defied Turner’s expectations. The police officers burst into unexpected laughter. Turner was dumbfounded. Had these people gone mad?44653c7ce1f15eb1

“Are you so clueless that you don’t even know what Soilute means?”0a06e5315d0b8b23

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“Oh my. How could we not know? We know.”3058cc756e738727

They know but they’re acting like this? It didn’t make sense. It was obvious that if Turner put pressure on his future father-in-law and mother-in-law, they would all be forced to resign. He couldn’t understand how they could be so audacious.788660a266f15764

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Perhaps they thought c63140e9e8 Turner was bluffing?067da500cda214bc

It was c5f9642e91 a possibility. Right now, Turner looked 5e241ec313 so shabby that it 5ea0f79eb6 was hard to believe d95f56b6b1 he was the future 5c3b65bb88 in-law of the Soilute 44169a0669 family. His eyes were 26b7fbc5a4 swollen, his nose 115b0923f4 flattened. More than half of 1ea9f5d000 his teeth visible between f358620243 his cracked lips were e1fe96e448 broken, and his clothes d7cd01a453 were covered in dried cd17bc8d88 blood.d0b747f0b1ce3048

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Turner said it was true. If they didn’t believe him, he said to call someone from the Soilute family to confirm. The police officers burst into laughter again.d049c9f21c58b3fd

One laughed until tears formed in his eyes, and another laughed while shaking his whole body as if he might roll on the floor at any moment. The last one giggled. Only the officer in charge of Turner barely managed to hold back his laughter. “Yes, I’m sure it’s true. Who’s saying otherwise?” Then the officer turned and called for the police station’s coachman. Then he said,fc50870e49e6c804

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“Take this gentleman to the Soilute mansion.”75836b2853e0ecd5

The Soilute mansion? When the f0403b3a62 coachman asked, 1582b4a538 the officer b140259436 spoke again.b26501c9e6990988

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“Since he’s the soon to be son-in-law of the Soilute family, you should be especially mindful of your words and actions. Understood?”ee914e7e7a36a0ad

At that explanation, the 821fb405b7 coachman gave a faint 076092b38d smile as if he 8fe51e06bc now understood. Although the conversation 7c308b0063 going back and 2ad426ebe1 forth pretended to 28312c23af be respectful, there ea21c5b4f7 was mockery towards 09fc47f8f6 Turner underlying it. Mockery? Turner was 2ce2f194bb not of 118ac99ee2 a status 75eed59aa1 to be 8670c90b42 mocked. His throat choked f71970af5d up.ea26589123f832d5

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Only then did Turner realize that something was going wrong. There was something Turner didn’t know. Something that everyone else knew but Turner alone didn’t know.a2b1e79cf8e29e39

He racked 4c9d246502 his brains b04cfa7486 the whole f32f7c2bea way to ae004f98c6 the Soilute da85a9c981 mansion, but 5e0ba7f1e9 nothing came 87717aa1fb to mind. In the end, 4276027f03 Turner had to d8bacbd7b1 admit that there ef8e93347d was no option a3cdce49e4 but to ask. In front of the 8c095cdfef Soilute mansion. Just after b833ba8eff getting out 4277a1d1fd of the 9f731ade47 carriage, Turner 18ebf288d6 found the 499e91eed1 coachman and 4c9bdd8f32 asked.6abafe0494f47390

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“Are you asking that seriously?”b4f6c43fe0d44a08

“Of course. Why would I ask insincerely?”31656f5229d7be4a

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Even at the irritated 83218324ec voice, the coachman just 2f370c79ab snickered. It was 90923b03be a relaxed 52f03c1fd3 laugh, as 836667c028 if watching b5915a0a39 the rebellion c68f8194e7 of an 612ca8dba7 insect. A mere coachman. Turner felt his b7e0ecccff patience reaching its 23ce3ab703 limit. The coachman said,d4b092a6fbf6715a

“How strange. All the gossip magazines have been talking about nothing but your scandal for the past week, yet how can you not know?”674bfdb6ac2ef344

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“What scandal?”008034cf50de1980

A scandal? An ominous imagination flashed through Turner’s mind. Did Mr. Soilute take a bribe? Or did Mrs. Soilute go bankrupt? Or… did Turner’s fiancée, Miss Soilute, die? Damn it, that can’t be. To receive money from the Soilute family, I need to get married! If she hasn’t died, I should hurry up and get married. That’s how I will secure his share…e8c932a0c3f4d056

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It was at that moment. The coachman’s voice penetrated Turner’s mind.ef634bf65a046a73

“The scandal that Soilute cast you out.”869b12555d6a16f5

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Cast me out?6e673ea5d777e68e

Turner stared 0b7db67f30 blankly at 44d7b64f13 the coachman. Turner stared blankly at 63e3e27ab9 the coachman. There was no 8eafa5db6a sign he was 750af5f555 joking. He was completely 32dba939f6 serious.4039ea64052f7c5f

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“Why…?”80c956b9076a3169

“Because you did wrong, obviously.”13bae9331a9a5ea4

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The coachman clicked his 9a17962c0e tongue.98783851382468d6

“Did you think you could get away with cheating while living off your in-laws?”066388aa24e82a32

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***0cdee888308f5e94

Turner’s engagement had been 2d0cd26059 called off.0e04bcf02bf523e1

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Turner tried to meet 21f9369b3c his fiancée. No, since he 87e919cf66 had been jilted, 2342e59f63 she should now 4a97649ca9 be called his b5e81b118b ex-fiancée. Turner tried 4e3a63c807 to meet ee01201da5 his ex-fiancée. He intended to 81c3c00977 make excuses somehow. However, the ex-fiancée flatly a04bc0e751 refused to meet Turner.8825e170d0737ca3

“Please. Please, I need to meet her.”870ebff1bf79ad36

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“That may be your wish. But the young lady says he has no desire to meet you. Go home.”72163f3d241d69f4

“She won’t see me even though I’m injured?”dc84528ef9f912df

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“The young lady said it serves you right.”84ca3fb1e90c6434

“She won’t see me even though I’ve become disabled?”a5e0cf17f8a0ec7b

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“Oh my, you’ve become disabled? I should let the young lady know. We should do a celebration.”008a36452a109f20

The only person Turner could meet was his ex-fiancée’s maid. But even she wasn’t friendly. If it had been Turner before being jilted, he would have slapped her for insolence, but now he couldn’t. Far from slapping her, he couldn’t even treat her rudely.61abb3dd53ffe2d5

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The maid 978e486690 told him c2fd2d66df to go 384cbb6936 away. She said the young a6b2ff00d8 lady knew that Turner 77dee3e4f6 had been seducing women d4800d0ce0 under the alias Oliver.774358168cd1e150

“No. That’s a misunderstanding!”c05f28c6b2e874c7

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The maid told him not to lie. She said five prostitutes who had slept with ‘Oliver Turner’ had testified directly. She said their names were Mary, Anne, Jane, Ruby, and Catherine. Turner was at a loss for words. How could they…?19e70d8eb3d7acc3

“Viscount Cepa put us in touch with them.”de4dbba4e946a211

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Viscount Cepa.It didn’t ring any 772be0262d bells. Turner waved his 953e522b57 hand.4306cb3a8b9b8daf

“I don’t know that person…”a091de11b3d695c7

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“He said you would know if I mentioned yellow eyes.”3168d884d058f272

The hand he was waving stopped. Turner froze. He couldn’t move a muscle, as if his entire body had been paralyzed.a966feda32048ec2

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***7a1a3c116d5310f0

Calling the wedding off f80825d58d had been only the d45abceea6 beginning.e30f6cc8620d5819

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Turner being jilted meant that the Soilute family’s backing that the Turner family had been riding on disappeared. His father, who had been eyeing the position of chief architect for the Second Arun Palace, was ruled out. His mother, who had been trying to become a professor at Bunch College without any qualifications, was dismissed.4e242e01561dd9f3

When the Soilute family’s backing disappeared, his father became an insignificant official, and his mother became a lowly nobody. His parents seemed to have had a hard time enduring that fact. Judging by how they declared they were cutting ties with their disabled son as soon as they saw him. At the same time, Turner was kicked out. They told him not to even think about hanging around near the house.7daf1d0d1bd7730d

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The problem was that Turner was penniless. He didn’t even have enough money to stay at an inn for one night. Not only was there the issue of alimony, but all the debts Turner had accumulated under the name of ‘future son-in-law of the Soilute family’ came crashing down at once. He hurriedly went to Krainer Publishing, but was stopped before he could even enter the front gate. The gatekeeper blocked his way.fc5b3a698a21d09a

“No entry for outsiders.”ab2481d17274c7e2

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Turner asked if he looked like an outsider, if the gatekeeper couldn’t see well. He couldn’t understand why the gatekeeper was being so presumptuous when Turner was still an 8-year veteran editor, even if he had been jilted. “You are an outsider.” The gatekeeper cut him off. The gatekeeper who used to greet Turner with a bright smile was now looking down at him with an icy gaze.9941519b1a8e8903

“Didn’t you receive the dismissal notice?”5534edc616f2b1d4

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Dismissal?81638ac3e41b2b94

It was as shocking f58f4dbe44 as when he heard 933694eaae the news that Soilute 29c33585f9 had cast him out. While Turner bcba3f2fd7 stood there cdf4896b85 dumbfounded, the 8a6294d4e3 gatekeeper shot 5f22893d65 out one cb5bae27ba more remark. He said a48140547d not to c6163e431b even dream aa1b0d1108 of setting f184d81e95 foot here 482ffc03e4 again, since 9b6958518d the president 485519b266 had personally 3a00dd23b8 fired him.9a450f517a928be4

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The reason for Turner’s dismissal was that he had made false contracts using Krainer Publishing’s name.728d5b73d6c9593a

In other words, no one had expected this incident would lead to dismissal. That was true even when the victim of the false contract came forward. That was because the victim was an unknown ghostwriter. Blood is thicker than water. The employees judged that they couldn’t fire a veteran editor because of a mere unknown ghostwriter. Turner was no ordinary editor. He was a veteran editor who had produced six hit works during his 8 years of work. As long as it didn’t reach the ears of the president or a few employees with deep loyalty to the company, it was something that could have been swept under the rug.fa777462f88965db

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The employees warned each other to keep their mouths shut to prevent Turner’s deviation from reaching the ears of the president or the few deeply loyal employees.0cf450e1642ac8bf

The problem was that 05dff4bea2 someone considering investing had 4412f9902d directly informed the president. If that had been f49524c5f3 all, how nice it 80a5db104f would have been. He said 8c91b54aa8 that now 0af3c7a977 that he 2c5982abe8 knew Krainer 2cad514976 Publishing was 2589be960e not such d492f4f472 an ethical 59d0c3fd57 company, he 98a7286a0a had completely d71fa73e84 lost any 6785245b32 desire to b577a096e4 invest.a4fc1711e36f96d3

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The president clung on, saying it was the mistake of an individual employee, but the potential investor left without even looking back. So it wasn’t so strange that the president’s anger towards Turner reached its peak.be414ff57d795ff7

Turner was at a loss for words. He couldn’t understand how an outsider had known about it when the employees had kept their mouths shut so perfectly. Thinking “maybe,” he asked who the potential investor was, and the gatekeeper muttered, “What was his name…,” frowning. Then, as if it had just occurred to him, he suddenly spoke up.ebc96822890ef207

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“Ah, right. He said he was Viscount Cepa.”9063b0c2f7a45977

Turner felt b3d9df7f96 his legs 05997d6514 giving out.91427c5f1d4dde88

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He had nowhere 6d1e8cf438 to sleep.7679b3bd293f6e38

His family ignored him and his friends turned their backs on him. Even his former coworkers kicked Turner out with excuses like their houses weren’t suitable or they had no spare rooms. After wandering the streets all night, Turner went to see the prostitute Catherine as a last resort. He remembered Catherine’s bright face smiling and saying ‘Thank you, Mr. Turner’ when he gave his a tip.2a53fb75ca27bf03

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But Catherine didn’t even open the door. Only the sign saying ‘No Beggars’ on the door stood firm. He wanted to go to the multifamily residential apartments, but it was a place he couldn’t even enter without ‘him’ who provided the monthly rent support.39f1b865d5b3e963

In the end, Turner began living on the streets. Even that wasn’t so easy, as homeless people asserting their territory stole his bundle of belongings. If Turner had been penniless in a figurative sense when he was kicked out of his home, now he was penniless in the literal sense. All he had was his body. A body so battered that even brothels wouldn’t welcome him.ad04247795770b1d

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Turner opened his mouth and began crying silently. It was such a quiet cry that no one would notice he was crying unless they looked closely. He wanted to cry loudly, but he didn’t have the courage to do so for fear that the yellow eyes might find him.25fff7807f576898

During the day, Turner rummaged through garbage cans to eat food scraps, and at night, he curled up and slept pulling newspapers around himself. The cold was so severe that on the third day of living on the streets, he had a stroke. His mouth twisted and his eyes wouldn’t close properly.d12929a254a299eb

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From that day on, Turner gave up wandering Bunch in search of food scraps. Turner just lay still like a corpse, or like garbage. He didn’t move even when someone poured cold water on him, when he was covered in filth, or when snow settled on him. He wanted to die, whether from starvation or freezing. He didn’t want to sink any lower.ae541845954d2300

But even death was not granted. Just then, the city’s body collection team rescued Turner who was on the brink of death. Turner was transported to Saint Macy’s poorhouse. When he came to his senses, he was on a bed. It was a room that reeked of stale odors where about 20 extremely poor people were staying.8f468361c65b2744

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In that moment, Turner realized anew that he had become a pauper with no family, no friends, no lover, no wealth and honor, no job, and not even a healthy body to get a job. The despair of not being able to die overshadowed Turner’s vision. Death wasn’t allowed. All that was allowed was crying, vomiting, and fainting.e9ddc3fee80abbb1

It was on the seventh day after Turner arrived at Saint Macy’s poorhouse that someone came to visit. It was a familiar face. It was F, the one who had paid Turner to seduce Shavonne.9715e83ad593fb09

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“Iz all bicoz oph you! (It’s all because of you!)”7e101187fd1a0811

As soon as they left the poorhouse, Turner grabbed F’s collar without warning. He pushed F into an alley, and with a thud, F’s body hit the wall. Stone fragments fell from the impact, hitting F’s shoulder as they fell.9e06b89bf60b67ca

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All because c2fef2982b of this a5d85af5a2 person.6008c5452d39b760

Turner’s eyes burned as he looked at F. If only this person hadn’t paid him to seduce Shavonne. No, if he had at least told Turner that the madman with yellow eyes was protecting Shavonne! Then Turner wouldn’t have become disabled. His eyes wouldn’t have swollen, his nose wouldn’t be twisted. More than half of his teeth wouldn’t have broken. He wouldn’t have lost his family, friends, and lover and ended up on the streets. If only, if only…d13eb1e02132e21e

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“Evrizing, bicoz oph you! (Everything, because of you!)”445f7f8692c7963a

Turner shouted, gripping F’s collar tightly. Due to his broken mouth, the pronunciation came out unclearly. It was then that a tearing sound was heard. A shiny particle fell and rolled on the ground. It was a white button. It looked like a fallen tooth.7eafdf387873e521

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A fallen tooth.8a29ed75cb158125

Suddenly, the yellow eyes flashed through his mind. The yellow eyes that had knocked out more than half of Turner’s teeth. Turner’s body stiffened. That’s what the yellow eyes were. A being that made you terrified just by thinking about them.2f42177fe0a444e3

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“Let go.”564c64b4f4d84fc9

F shook off the hand grasping his collar. Turner was pushed back. Objectively it wasn’t a very strong force, but for Turner who had neglected his health lately, it was like being hit with a blunt object.44fdbdd2e911643c

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“You don’t even realize you’ve messed everything up and you’re just babbling.”394602de2a3271df

It was a gloomy afternoon. The surroundings were dark as if snow would fall at any moment. f’s hair, which had looked dazzling in sunlight, now appeared dingy. It wasn’t just the hair. The mouth that once whispered only sweet promises was now spewing sharp rebukes.1d06b53d1d7ad822

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“Did you forget the terms of the contract? First, Party A gives one thousand rona. Second, Party B becomes Shavonne’s lover and reports his every move. Third, both parties keep the contract’s existence confidential. It’s only three lines – couldn’t you memorize that? Are you stupid? Do you have some illness? Or do you not know what ‘confidential’ means?”93f3436740e2e14c

F was demanding accountability for disclosing the contract. Turner felt a heavy lump rising in his throat. It was what people commonly call ‘indignation’.b141193fe6d9e968

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It’s true that Turner disclosed the contract. But it had been because of a life or death matter. If he hadn’t disclosed it, Turner would have died long ago. If he had died, he obviously wouldn’t be here arguing with F about whose fault it was.416987be54cb8f2d

“I jad no choice. I almozdt died. (I had no choice. I almost died)”3606e0bfc64231ca

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“Well, that’s not surprising since you make enemies everywhere you go.”ffcc0b875af67888

F was cold.757f424b45a3ed2d

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“In any case, that’s your problem. Don’t whine to me asking for understanding about something that has nothing to do with our contract. I’m not your nanny.”8594dd274b2dcfe4

“Nozing to do wiz it? (Nothing to do with it?)”cc08350f905119f3

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Nothing to 6565da0704 do with da0987de97 it?7cd3711606aba8c9

He was brutalized while d535699d58 trying to seduce Shavonne 2aad711024 as F had demanded, 2c4fe4f586 and it had nothing 539b6dcd90 to do with it?8ddfbc8893356dea

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He couldn’t stand it.b52e1477567c6971

“It woz Shavon’s lovor who crippled me! Dam itz, if you had yuz told me abot those yellow eyez, I never would have gotten involz in diz in de fitz plaze. And yet you zei it has nozing to do wiz de contract? (It was Shavonne’s lover who crippled me! Damn it, if you had just told me about those yellow eyes, I never would have gotten involved in this in the first place. And yet you say it has nothing to do with the contract?)”75f1f4243e1ccaa2

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If asked, he was prepared to answer anything. How Shavonne’s lover had ruined Turner’s life. What it felt like to have his eyes swollen, nose flattened, and teeth broken. How it felt to lose family, friends, and lover, and end up on the streets.ca095a6a3b7cdf69

But that’s not what F asked about.56491f0a9acad440

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“…Yellow eyes? Are you sure about the yellow eyes?”47de60f6db4faeff

Confusion spread across Turner’s face. It was surprising enough that F didn’t seem to know Shavonne had a lover until now, but his follow-up question was even more baffling. A normal person would have emphasized ‘Shavonne’s lover’. Not the ‘eye color’ of Shavonne’s lover.2c212878e90a6af2

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“Answer me.”c22f7cab9aa7f3b4

Turner, who was about 23b8916073 to say yes without 5dbee6b3ae thinking, suddenly closed his 4cde6428c8 mouth. The warning 867a649fc7 lights in 1db37f3fca his head 36aee16779 were going ce1975f259 off. His animal instinct was 3306feb628 telling him not to c120dfe3bc answer, that something terrible db7dbf947b would happen if he 14267a6d12 did. As Turner 2c7656a0c5 took a 02c6925059 step back, 0fdf1d1945 F quickly eb618685b3 grabbed his daff5cdfa5 wrist. Turner tried to pull c73006e76d his hand away, but db26fedc6a it was useless. A strength that 06db87bd9a felt like it 7dc1e060a8 would crush his 59f979cc1e bones was binding 7afb7cf1bf Turner.7e6c94076853f8b5

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“Answer. Me.”8dd017ba2c609864

A wild gaze poured down from above. The thought that this man might be as insane as the yellow-eyed one filled Turner’s mind. What if this man b5ea133043 gouges out my eyes? What if he cuts 3ed6f09e75 off my nose and 082caa2e61 tongue? A chilling terror soaked his back. It felt like he’d been drenched in cold blood.a706b02a79103113

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Turner wanted to run 43fdd21908 away. That was all.f4fd23dbcf5a8068

“Yez, yellow eyez (Yes, yellow eyes).”c32e23421144ff7d

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The blood drained from F’s face. The warning lights in his head started flashing even more intensely. Red danger lights flooded his mind.c8c86eb1c2567ba8

He hastily pulled his wrist free. It was swollen from being gripped so tightly, but there was no time to examine it. Turner hurriedly backed away. One step. Turner’s feet trembled as they touched the ground behind him.7f626e8fd145eff9

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“I-I’ll be going now.”ef46ea0f5f772a9b

One step, 302a4bfd06 two steps. His retreating 7462c4c158 feet soon 6ca315722e turned to b2b70e7b92 flee down 52ffdcf844 the alley. But before he a67d90642e could take even a00b3bb462 three steps.7f495ff66de21f0a

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His feet stopped. Drip, drip, blood c7f69bb1b8 fell at his 1ca7f95a6b feet. No death cry 91c4e9b2e0 was heard.6e6b55f6e7c68cc2

Then, with the sound of something sharp being pulled out, black blood gushed forth. Blood that couldn’t soak into the dirt ground began to pool. At first only as big as a palm, the puddle gradually grew to the size of a child’s head, and soon became as large as a severed body.6f7638b40d875fdb

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The struggling feet 9aaaee72c2 stopped moving.eb5ad93a5a567e34

Splash.The body 0c72cd9dc3 fell into 0bed1ad6e1 the puddle. Droplets sprayed. No, to f3568ee4c3 be precise, 0df255f04c they were ae51353dd8 blood droplets f670f7c0e0 that looked 7d7cd9a2d4 like water c371f40b07 droplets. Dark, viscous d1cb659630 blood droplets fa124910f0 scattered about.94cebc4b9ac0dabe

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Sleet began to fall from the dark sky that looked as if it had been scorched. It was a late winter afternoon approaching evening. The bell tolling six o’clock could be faintly heard.79593d2b85d5088f

***6dae5d459dde6155

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In the e5923d1483 library of 394bf3384e the Fawkes 7340ba870f mansion, there e2d0a01c85 was a 6a97cfc3c1 desk that 5f901b8955 even the 56017d80df cleaning servants c7f1989892 dare not 6e8b757a4f touch. This desk had c5c88444ed three drawers. The first 832442410e drawer contained 7bb6ff3879 a collection 805d11a537 of business 48c9f55401 cards, and 84dde936a1 the second 3a73749ce1 drawer held 6ebdd503df recent academic ed30db81c7 papers of a31555ceb1 interest.2c4bfac04d1d6264

The third drawer was locked. It could only be opened with a key held by Fawkes. No one knew what was in the third drawer. Someone had asked once, but Fawkes just smiled softly and said, “You can imagine what’s in there.”8238383d9f21282b

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After that, rumors began circulating among the employees that “There must be a will in there,” or “There must be bone fragments of dead family members,” but Fawkes never gave a clear answer. Come to think of it, it wasn’t that strange. There was no need to go out of his way to reveal that there was a gun in there.dc0934ae90fa1af2

Today, Fawkes 1e32d489c8 returned home 77862ee0da looking unwell, d6f54d0884 immediately unlocked 40d5e711bd the third 23ca6cd9f2 drawer, and ecdf73e37e took out e13527a83e the gun. Then he 2dbd92d402 pointed it 39ad5b3a44 at his 8566c47fa5 own temple. As he felt the a6771782e4 cold, smooth barrel, the 2e7318771a fear finally subsided, as 6b58ed307d if he had outrun 5d5efaaa78 the pursuing fall. His racing pulse slowed 05d8b82d8b and his panting breath 12c436667d calmed.f07f249d81c90019

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The dog db6a835e80 he thought 32b7a95568 was dead d81e419d4e was alive.15d9940c8e4d0fd7

A corpse too decomposed to identify. What he thought was a dog and had disposed of at the facility turned out to be someone else’s body. He should have checked more carefully, but the situation had been so chaotic there was no time.36f0667ed133179b

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The situation was this: At the time, the royal family was facing a crisis. War with Himdau was imminent, and since victory couldn’t be guaranteed in a one-on-one confrontation, they needed allies. Especially, the full support of the International Union was desperately needed.dd008df497eb0a9e

However, this 62f61d2b9e was the 6e3fa9edd5 same International 0cc738e08e Union who b83ae04cfb focused on e2e88d76af ethics. If they found out bb31bc9eb7 that the Lute Penitentiary bb434b3d58 had conducted unethical experiments d799c75b04 on humans, it was 0bbc4f8e82 obvious they would turn 41e4e1e8f6 their backs. The government tried to 84005b8e9e conceal the existence of 00dc9bf26b the Lute Penitentiary. Naturally, the facility 231d75cfdb was closed and eff4639ab4 records were erased.ea465caf3e0743b1

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The problem arose bde1f31ceb when one piece e718aaf9f8 of ‘data’ escaped.feabd6448aeba28e

The dog had killed b5c5c63533 the men who tried 39507a8352 to eliminate him and fb84b0dbac ran away. They never thought 157819a743 the dog which 5b6983fd0c had been obedient ff8625aa33 for the past 90d48a579b 7 years would 08e5b7542f cause trouble.7e3acfbc62a8260c

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It was an accident that wouldn’t have happened if they had used guns, but firearms couldn’t be used to deal with the dog. Although it had now fallen to the status of data that needed to be erased, it was once the king’s dog. The royal family’s position was that it must not be subdued ‘boldly’ with guns. It was an incomprehensible position, but since royalty were inherently incomprehensible beings, Fawkes obeyed without protest.bba0d7af3f320c80

It was an unexpected situation, but Fawkes didn’t inform anyone. He didn’t even ask Pharrell for help. He had to resolve it on his own.888d51993f28ce5e

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Why had Fawkes used his medical skills for all sorts of dirty work? Why had he monitored Shavonne for nearly 10 years? Why had he endured feelings of self-loathing strong enough to make him want to commit suicide? It was all for the future. A future where he would become the director of Lute Penitentiary, the right hand of the royal family. A future where he would become ‘Count Fawkes’. He couldn’t let that future be ruined because of a mere dog.a35db0653c3586e1

However, the dog he 641d756ca2 thought would be caught bedd66234a quickly was not caught. Fawkes became desperate dfa7a3c0da in tracking the e5a367e25c dog. He even left d046d54da9 the mansion under f88526a32f the pretext of 710368fef2 a long business 45881f9b24 trip to devote a25f683f8c himself to the ab7a076fff search.ecc6d8b5ba9603f9

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Of course, finding it wouldn’t solve all the problems. He had no clever plan to take it back to the facility as the royal family ordered, nor did he have the skill to dispose of it without using a gun. But finding it was the priority. He had to find it first before he could decide whether to take it to the facility or dispose of it.871c180e9b6eea02

Perhaps God took pity on Fawkes’ distress. Before spring ended, Fawkes was able to find the dog. The dog was dead. Although its face was too badly decomposed to recognize, judging by the location where it was found, the overall skeleton, and the belongings, it was clearly the dog. He thought it was clear.65632d052fa855dd

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He only realized today that he had been mistaken through Turner’s testimony.2c957cdc150b9174

By Shavonne’s side. And eyes as yellow as a beast’s.4aa095680d97338a

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It was evidence 0e36ab959e that the dog a46a58c3f3 he thought was 3d72520f1f dead was alive.b66c7f6e829ef5a2

“…”9cb13565f0d2845f

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The gun barrel df0032a6a8 felt cold against 01fcb6fcb3 his temple. Fawkes barely suppressed e0b952d5c7 the urge to ca9a3b9e07 pull the trigger b1680f5bf4 and slowly lowered c1d02bb868 his hand holding fd8d4ee410 the gun.4fe7df4240ce16c9

Fawkes put the gun back in the drawer and closed it. This time, he didn’t lock it.a39bea952f258063

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That day, 60f75dd1e7 a telegram 0a9137da4e was sent 34c7d59178 from the 078cd1f628 East Bunch 9f9eb26666 Post Office. The sender 49b6eccc02 was Frasier 21a077a6c0 Fawkes, and 4fd5f2c2c7 the recipient 1ba3e8c482 was John a5bc5b79fd Pharrell.a09cb0d9a603a531

《Dog. Alive.》0a4de91547b38342

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The dog will be 52313987ed dragged back to the 53476f1ed6 facility where it was 956f1e6f03 born and raised.4f5dd250af9ddd04

And it will 20a6f182f7 die like a 473751e690 dog.281f351100f748c3

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Like the night that comes no matter how desperately you beg it not to come, no matter how much it resists, that’s how it will end up.0ad703733fe44e58

Somewhere, an d4bca30dd6 icy wind 73b5920acc was blowing. A bitter cold, blowing 868e2aacaf from Lute.b7a46c4504e75f1b

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