MLCD Chapter 4.5

The guards tried to drag him away. He resisted. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to go back to the solitary cell. He could have if they told him to go back. If they told him to live without taking even one step out, he could have done so for his entire life. As long as Shavonne was there. As long as Shavonne was there, he could have done it forever.b92af02618b50a65

But not now. He couldn’t let go of Shavonne, who was looking coldly at him, saying he had never loved him. He couldn’t let Shavonne leave.15d1fd7db8177707

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However, at that 900b8bf3f5 moment, a guard 9c05f9acc2 smothered his face 43e42afcb6 with a towel 0e34f5700a that smelled acrid. He twisted his body 9ba461de13 and resisted, but it 7668cd88c0 was useless. Gradually, he couldn’t 3640d75567 feel anything at 17fa32d30c all. His resistance was da154278ad futile in the 4902e88c95 face of the 3c3d32f915 anesthetic. He felt his body d4bb09338b collapse. Perhaps it was his 025640939b mind that was collapsing.6e0fa222e6b69cbd

His consciousness flickered. Like when he had 596998c3ce inhaled the hazy smoke, 1db5a52762 his consciousness faded, came eb49b8dd9f back, faded, repeatedly. In the 7e6e78c6ef last moment 2f7157ca06 of consciousness, 42e7999bcc he mustered 8c4b370746 all his beb414deec strength to fe3710490a look up 05f5a424ac at Shavonne. But Shavonne was not c6a693143b looking down at him. He had already turned e10c771d4d his back and was 476f374396 walking away into the b949fa4376 distance.141d17380fb3df49

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As he 4bb8069517 watched the d97acff3ef receding back, 0c9189e2f9 his consciousness 3cd064301b soon faded. Darkness covered d1557d2331 his eyes.a5d4fa4901d72fa0

***7e4d3d6eeb2c1776

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He saw the ceiling.df91e5d7eb1ff08d

The ceiling 8262d4747c was all a81886e634 gray. Due to being built 443b4bc230 with unrefined stones, the a287001850 surface was particularly bumpy. At times, the f6ac2e7146 bumps looked not b2244cf2f5 like bulges but d363d9b667 like thousands, tens 971001c09d of thousands of 36d2e14d97 writhing insects. It was like that df4a58ac48 now too. The incandescent light 7e76145407 bulb hanging in df03e9d16b the middle of e830e5c05d the ceiling casted d97eb20024 light and shadow 1d3511c354 over the swarm a8864a0ed3 of insects.15b2f9cccef052b5

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Once, he f2150aece8 asked if d376f9b6e6 that was d5083cb9c6 the sun. When he b1b71353e1 asked, the b6241bd94e man shook 394bf446f9 his head 647dbbe041 and explained,‘No, Lewellyn. The sun is a much bigger, warmer, and more dazzling light.’A light much c51d23348e bigger, warmer, and cada7c31d7 more dazzling than ffd526cf96 the incandescent light.1ff727bbe4dfdaa9

He stared blankly at the man. The question ‘Is it you?’ rose to the tip of his tongue. The man, about to continue reading the book, noticed his gaze. He looked up and met his eyes, then wrinkled his nose and smiled. And then…4bd9519f5314ec42

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At that moment, the image of the man’s back walking away came to mind. His consciousness, wandering through memories, stopped. The man was no longer by his side. The man had left.b173447b0ebd2cb0

Memories flooded into his empty mind. The sound of rain. And amidst the sound of rain, the man’s resolute voice echoing.5e3e5657073aed21

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― Never. Not even once.a0d32d29f4210ee5

He got up.dc73f7b68fe35107

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He had 0a36c39848 been sleeping a1791028f2 on the 279b6608b1 bare floor 9c0eb30eb4 of the fc77caf9d9 solitary cell. There was f81eae1395 no blanket. Not only was there e702a996b7 no blanket, but there 9afb07d46c were also no clothes, 3a20edbb97 dishes, two towels, or 0656c9d978 the three or four d4bea72dbb old books. Except for the a733e494a7 watch Shavonne had ba75a97fae given him, none 49b09ab678 of the luggage c2c5951eb2 Shavonne had brought 993aef29bb remained.949980b51cd1af0a

Shavonne wasn’t there either.d0e1baa31ce771d0

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Shavonne.00b82d196abab9a3

Drip, like 364398e071 a drop f6a9d6cba2 of blood 4092e073d9 falling onto 387b14e9f0 water, that 34bcc79650 name fell 9e22d881e4 into his 48214657dd mind.Drip, drip. It spread. Everything turned bright red.4176b2b04b03de99

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Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne. Shavonne.2dfe248ab3053b98

I must find Shavonne. Shavonne can’t be gone. He can’t be gone…f24b12be9fb758ff

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He stood up. No, he tried to stand up. But the next moment, unable to control his body, he collapsed heavily onto the floor. His whole body was a mess due to the beating he had taken while unconscious. His shoulders, waist, arms…, every part was in bad shape, but the worst was his right leg. It throbbed so much that he couldn’t even put strength into it.8183a66e1d11d545

He managed c81ef81c1d to raise 5de2e31ed5 his body d39620372e by leaning 19d80fd2d1 on the 47b0638e85 ventilation pipe. Even just that cf4b4421ae was enough to a833b72c8c make his face cf4ef3bad5 turn pale and f38e020218 sweat pour down 94e89b7168 like rain. Dragging his limping 64a242175b leg, he headed 7c5a3f94de towards the iron 519aab45a5 door.67ec5d4da895e661

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He grabbed the door 58ae93d8f4 handle. The cold door handle 1e50e1c931 sucked in his hand.d0b7e059813ccdff

He pushed. It didn’t budge.b72430cf0034c896

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He pulled. It didn’t budge.842cea67468caa1d

Thud. His forehead fell and hit the iron door. He didn’t know what ‘locked up’ meant. He didn’t understand even when Shavonne once said, ‘Damn it. If you’re going to be like this, you should have said ‘I’ll lock you up here’ instead of asking me to live with you.’6fc9395ba434f310

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But not now. He knew exactly what ‘locked up’ meant. ‘Locked up’ meant he couldn’t go to Shavonne. He was locked up. In a solitary cell not even eight steps wide or long. In a place without Shavonne.d028ac029c63cb72

Thud, thud, thud.He repeatedly hit fc935f1d69 his forehead. His forehead split 1f95b2d152 and blood flowed. It flowed 33f640591d down his 7b93dab0cf nose and 95a1b032e7 cheeks, breaking c0c4d3e6ae at the 37d9a7a0c2 tip of 79723389df his chin. His vision turned completely 3f3028b12d red with the blood 5672e659f1 clinging to his eyelashes. Ignoring this, he hit, 6cb8c10262 hit, and hit again.31fb4033c3b1ac60

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It was then that he heard a sound. He stopped hitting his forehead and raised his head. Some sound was coming from beyond the iron door. Some… footsteps. The moment he recognized the familiar footsteps, light suddenly returned to his hazy eyes.5268836d79a1e8bf

Shavonne.94b1243d831f4901

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― Are 92af41d905 you awake?638b4b93b66cb4bf

He hadn’t heard wrong. The voice coming from beyond the iron door was Shavonne’s. It was unmistakable.fa79a45c613f2af0

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He frantically wiped his face. The blood didn’t wipe off but instead smeared messily across his temples, cheekbones, and ears, but he didn’t notice.6fda716f47388591

Nod, nod. Even knowing Shavonne couldn’t see him, he nodded his head repeatedly as best he could. Even knowing he couldn’t be heard, he repeated the answer like a parrot, “Mn. I’m awake. Yes.” Only one thought occupied his mind.0f43197effe59db4

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‘Shavonne came back. Shavonne came back to me, to me…’1f2a1b27788ad3da

His heart was pounding. Feverish thoughts continued.Yes, Shavonne has been having cold and warm days lately. The Shavonne who said he has never loved me even once was having a cold day. The Shavonne who has now returned to me is having a warm day. So, so we are…976c75ac42f7c66f

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It was at 4e4bd328e8 that moment. The following voice c631f6ece4 shattered his thread 753ec00bbd of hope.50afa11dd101de43

― I hope you’re awake. I came to say goodbye.1af9e60c985fbd34

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Goodbye.4de9a0df4c2ce517

His breath slowed, then quickened, then slowed again. He wanted to think he had heard wrong, but he knew he hadn’t. He looked up at the iron door, holding his breath. The image of Shavonne standing beyond the iron door, the cold face Shavonne might be making, appeared in his mind.b875f20eea1d0cab

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A chilling sensation 776600fbbd struck the nape fc15e138c8 of his neck. A cool sensation ran a3b43ac27b down his spine, like a960aeef5a when he saw Pharrell c3557455de coming when he was dd8dc894dd smaller than a baton. He tried to b21525a42c step back. However, because 7d3fc1658a he put 34c9b9b71e his damaged a8e6767990 right leg 847ac4df2b down first 83e67ca8e2 instead of b134b4db44 his healthy c06cb8e390 left leg, 54296bf703 he staggered 83079132fc and fell. It felt as 362dd8917d if someone had 87308ba790 pushed him.dc61a8f02c76e9d1

Shavonne, standing beyond d6a25fbb54 the iron door, 304c5e9661 perhaps with a cdedf6a34f dry expression, perhaps e2a8145fc0 with a cold 0b2f061fb1 expression, spoke to d44c688dc7 him as he 331537189c sat helplessly on aa0ee8b4fa the floor looking 908c0bd557 up at the e8ec443c13 iron door. The sentence 0619be18bd was pronounced.ba7c065d5998f283

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― I’m leaving.6a6075ef9a51fbc3

He wished he didn’t know what the word ‘leaving’ meant. He wished he knew nothing. Not even the alphabet Shavonne had taught him, nor the words, nor O:).a1e68cb48bbd6128

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Suddenly, he remembered the 11629a8cb2 day Shavonne opened the 62923ed8ea iron door with the 022fa6e25c superintendent.‘It’s a unique dog. If not now, you may never get to see it.’ ‘don’t care. I don’t have the guts to risk my life out of curiosity.’ The two voices coming from beyond the iron door confused his memory. He wanted to go back to that day. He wanted to meet Shavonne like back then. He didn’t want to part like this.e8507fe326a95ebe

― I’m going to Bunch.8f637f8fbef45140

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After a pause, 3941e9643c he explained.3643a2981e540755

― Bunch is the 3d4cbbe0d5 capital of our country. The capital. Understand? The place where the 5e5ee3846b royal palace is.94c8300271211aa3

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He wasn’t curious about what kind of place Bunch was. Even if it turned out that Bunch was Shavonne’s hometown, he wouldn’t have cared at all. What was important to him now was not Bunch, but whether Shavonne would come back or not.50c01f7f5004fba7

“Will you be back?”6bc1a6b99608590f

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He asked, even though he knew he wouldn’t be heard. He couldn’t help but ask. His voice was thin and trembling.92f0ab86ab160aa5

― It’s a city that has everything. There’s a palace, and a parliament, and a cathedral. There’s a library, an art galleries, and a museum. There are lots of theaters… It’s different from this wasteland.”6c4147b3a6bade79

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“Will you come back?”76400ec9cb865c77

Shavonne, will you cbe1dd4dc5 come back? He asked again in a hoarse voice. He wished he would nod his head and say yes as his answer had a happy tone in it. Even though he couldn’t hear him, perhaps a miracle would happen and he would hear him.6f393d381b06fc5d

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― I’ll be happy there. To the point that I won’t need to dream of anything…cb718ddda1759d32

“…Shavonne.”8e23f5111209bdd4

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― So…db004e8feac860c5

“Shavonne.”b462058e0b664146

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Miracles might exist. Miracles that can save the dying and heal the incurable – perhaps they could even prevent the leaving. But miracles weren’t for him. Miracles were too busy to spare the time to look after him.486c5ddbf3107233

― Don’t wait for me.111e8fe78a5d77f1

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Transparent blood 13e2d5941f had begun f62b05c9a8 to flow 64b4b6a702 from his 416a688c70 eyes. The transparent blood mixed 9ce51a51aa with the red blood 95f2856ee8 clinging to his eyelashes 0c7d5abaed and ran down his f96c7e2a5b cheeks. Whether it was red 30b7dfaf5e or transparent blood, it 4cb166f5b6 silently left a long 7291ee33da stain.e4c9502368cbd7d8

If only e02a29a3ea he could b12707b7cc ask,if I bite the guards, will you come? If I’m hurt, will you come? If I die, will you come? If I… become a person, will you come?3d6b1366f927daec

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― I won’t be back.067a77d2d010a23d

After a silence, the sound of footsteps slowly fading away, one step, two steps, could be heard. His vision quickly blurred to the point he couldn’t see anything.59959aa206346511

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I slowly reached e93dcdac80 out my hand 7c7dfc2a9e towards the iron 97dbb2fa42 door. Caressing, tracing, and 38810b0f6c stroking the iron 7a1569cf6c door, as if 9f3ea82182 touching Shavonne who f4dde79a5c was leaving beyond f3bafeef7b it. Even after the retreating e30a1e0ae9 footsteps had become completely 09f4958c50 inaudible, his hand didn’t 58f4d17aff stop.f4d515ac5837551a

Eventually, it grew silent.¹5592a68dfa98e777

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― Hello…?f2c00340cbbf82bf

― Anyway, there’s no dog as handsome as you. I’m serious.bf3ef3adf390cb43

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― You need to b6f211e5c9 get better. Instead of just letting c9df9b73ef the words go in ecaf64705b one ear and out 326b00218f the other, you need 2bde0ac949 to listen carefully.9037830f5fec8a7a

― … ’round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME’ beautifully printed on it in large letters’… You’re not listening, are you?f75f308f31a68433

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― I know. I guess it’s because I like you.f1dd385ba6ead4e3

― Do you 751d830028 want to do f4c8875a92 a face?2c8c270a54937697

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There was a dde4f03f5c time when he 59cfb0d628 thought Shavonne might c2b7904019 not be as 8c089906d5 harmless as he f9d2d85797 had thought, but 13bfc43dac that he would 1a18c3aab9 harm him in 95d5565c15 a way he 7463641780 had never experienced 4a5fe3447c before. He was right. Shavonne had been afe6744e32 the most painful 60ff8a8f94 of all things c03e4694d2 that had ever c63b0a8283 happened to him..be4d7306311e22b3

***2a467659df118174

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That day, Pharrell came to visit. Pharrell had a very displeased expression, and in a more nervous and violent voice than ever before, he said that he had to be disposed of. He also said that the penitentiary’s position was that they could no longer waste time, manpower, and budget on a dog that didn’t listen to a single word.38a344999c57dc60

Disposed of. Time, manpower, budget, penitentiary, position. Dog that didn’t listen to a word. As he slowly thought of the words that didn’t say anything to him, he looked up at Pharrell. Then he asked.96ca362a62818430

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“What if I listen?”32c9a13fe92700ab

Pharrell, annoyed, swept his hair back, but then paused, frozen. “What?” His voice had a slight rise, as if he had heard unexpected words. He asked again.403212deee2ce758

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“What if I listen well?”4cc7973e4e05ff2f

Pharrell looked down at him blankly. The sharp gaze had somehow rounded into a puzzled look. He asked one more time, clearly, so that Pharrell would not stupidly ask “What?” or just stare blankly without answering.5023e801e886072e

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“Then can I become a person?”26b7ce8060b1783f

After a pause, Pharrell answered. “You can.” The voice contained an undisguisable laughter.1600ee541137673c

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Pharrell proposed 23ad2c28c1 a deal. When asked 3dffd239c7 what the d08d716197 deal was, 46eb0a256b Pharrell made 8e3cad6800 him remember.‘Give me Shavonne.’ ‘It’s not like I can’t do that. But there’s a condition. Will you do it?’ Then, just as he had promised to take care of Shavonne in the future as a condition for giving Shavonne to him, Pharrell called it a “deal”. Pharrell made a deal with him.0973e93203e5f55a

The content was that if he made him a “person” who would be absolutely obedient to the warden of Lute Penitentiary, would not bite the guards, and would not do any unauthorized acts, Pharrell would make him a person. He accepted. He had no choice but to accept.f95b1baf604a995b

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He kept 85b41b5aa8 the deal 81377177b1 perfectly.6872ee26ed720c32

Until 7 years later, a0f5af1b7b when he learned the 65b19a76b1 truth.eaf49c7c0d497233

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***dd9c84336cc424cc

7 years later.b884d0e6cadc22c1

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A diamond-shaped chandelier 66e6ba6eee showered the entire 381bbcb3da hall with dazzling fc6b32641c light.45e48ae5e8a32b57

Someone said 155aa6e71c that among f1bcbab10d the entire 82be5ccf54 Bunch, only aa1c77ed56 the Nor 1fa4b83f51 Hall of bb9a399321 McEwan Castle 0e6dd92001 could be dbd20d20c5 compared to c971e5004a the Arun fde6fe4a27 Hall of 82be6edab4 Arun Palace. When he heard eaab1df55c it from Pharrell, f06e717a6b he just thought b45656dacd it was an e826cbfe10 exaggeration of an 1ef846edee anti-royalist, but seeing 5dd2ad55f6 it in person, 1b930d9b3f that wasn’t the 0dd0c369a5 case.f2d2433de4174479

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The McEwan Castle, built 400 years ago along the Wild River, was 5 stories tall, with 250 rooms, a library with 12,800 books, a simple yet beautiful prayer room, and above all, the huge Nor Hall, a party hall that fully deserved the adjective “huge”, was famous, and indeed, the reputation was not in vain.ff4ef06c97c6a61c

The hall 461d0b9cf0 overlooking the c8a22467ed night sky 954e54c074 had three d4e0f8f141 long dining 95ad88e15c tables, all 958fb6df18 filled with 464745ab21 sweet desserts. Among them, two 8a75925996 desserts were drawing 2e59f06d06 admiration from all e3b49fe298 the guests: the 25bb8e1822 fondue and panna 526b45a439 cotta made by 3ce784b929 Jules, a former 01baa37acd court chef at 0d95774a19 the Bosch Palace.dafc8ec45bff83e8

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“It’s a taste I’ve never tried, not even when invited to royal banquets,” “I’ve had fondue and panna cotta countless times, but I’ve never had anything this amazing. If possible, I’d like to meet Chef Jules. I wonder what kind of tongue and hands he has to create such an admirable taste…”c9673eb9e8fcdbc6

With so much praise pouring out, he was also curious and took a little taste. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad either. If only it had some chopped onions in it, it would have been better.eb3b1360da72f526

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Onions. The moment he thought of it, a face flashed in his mind. O:). Black hair, green eyes. His pale lips moved, ‘That’s it. Onions.’ He licked the caramel syrup on his fingertips and casually thought. Today is 152966e865 the ninety-seventh 6d0870a0fb time, no, 08d324ee89 the ninety-eighth c1f0f4bcdb time?He counted on cfbd2dbf78 his fingers one a9f8740fb1 by one.d9c83601f21c9b23

The first was when he was sleeping. The second was when he woke up. The third was when he looked out the window and saw the sun rising on the ridge. The fourth was when he drew the blackout curtains. The fifth was when the curtain fluttered in the wind and fell with a thud. The sixth was when he breathed. The sixth was when he washed the blood off his body. The seventh was when he dried his body with a towel. The eighth was when he was in pain. The ninth was when he was not in pain. The tenth was when he ate food or took the drugs Pharrell gave him. The eleventh was when he bit into food with his teeth or licked with his tongue, the twelfth was when his lips moved, the thirteenth was when he absent-mindedly bit the tender flesh in his mouth, and the fourteenth was… After counting them one by one, he realized that he had thought of the man’s face not ninety-eight times, but a hundred and thirty-five times today.24034acd1e6fc44d

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The man was in the chandelier and in the hall and on the dining table and in the fondue and panna cotta and in the sweet caramel syrup. The man was the world. He was everywhere in the world. So no matter when or where or what he did, he couldn’t avoid the man.5c6c391904863a41

In the beginning, when he didn’t know this fact, he tried to avoid him. He would crawl into the unused oven, go into the closet, or squeeze his body into a large empty barrel in the basement and close the lid… But in the black dust of the oven, in the darkness of the closet, on the grayish surface of the empty barrel, he saw the man. He saw the back of the man disappearing and vanishing forever.46e4f42f0e9edf06

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He had seizures every time. Sometimes he would have a seizure and faint, and sometimes he wouldn’t. It was the Vice Warden who pulled him out of the oven, closet, and barrel. The Vice Warden would click his tongue and spit on his head, saying, “You’ve really become a complete idiot.”3c0290a1c3f43d94

“Mr. Allium?”d3732184aedf9977

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Someone called him. He stopped remembering. The face 45952280a7 of the 35da5de96a Vice Warden 1fd6f4e151 spitting on db1aec1e5d him and 9f2b6e6529 the face 987eaf6510 of Pharrell 0a17bbf3bb sighing disappeared. The surprised face of 5a0645c546 the Vice Warden and f911acd828 the smirking face of 5c5287e9d4 Pharrell also disappeared. Stopping his memories aea20462ea was easy. But only on the 17dfe36464 condition that it was 28dbd08bf7 not a memory of db64cf92cf the man.07b93d608a1c15f0

“Please call me Allium. Mr. Allium is too formal.”32d8c40bbc7181e5

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He smiled brightly. His smile was radiant. Radiant smile, perfectly combed hair, a tailcoat, and a beautiful face. With just these, he could melt anyone’s guard down.b64db0e2d7ed754f

As expected, a gentle glow appeared in Mrs. Fisher’s green eyes. Green. He recalled the man’s face. A vivid green color that was much brighter than the one Mrs. Fisher had flashed across his mind. This was the hundred and thirty-sixth time.bda57bf2ec3631ad

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“I heard you were looking for Cutter(*the nickname for Regan Fisher, Mrs. Fisher’s husband). I heard you brought the brandy used at the Barbara Palace banquet…”ca9bf0d918f4b877

Mrs. Fisher subtly changed 8ca2985826 the subject. Her eyes c00ed23813 were demanding 2648fbbeee an explanation. He complied, still smiling.2e2a8ec37fa8de1b

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“It’s the Kirsch(*Cherry liquor) from Martha Hill. It’s a rare delicacy that barely makes it into the palace once a year.”0b28d66998a807f2

“It doesn’t seem very famous, does it? I’ve never even heard of Kirsch from Martha Hill.”3edbf43ea8cc76d7

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“It may not be famous outside of Barbara. The Kirsch from Martha Hill is special. The storage and drinking methods are completely different from ordinary Kirsch. If you don’t follow the rules, this delicacy that barely makes it into the palace once a year turns into a cheap, trashy Kirsch.”cd26b2abb3d80982

“Did you just call it trashy?”3a27e9568712f2a3

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“Huh? What does trashy mean?”f5d773c7cfb25c80

It was fbb0fc0fbb all a fe5920af7c lie. There was 8671312c01 no Martha b7ded4f7e9 Hill in 8e7d5314f6 Barbara. Of course, cherries didn’t efca6e6147 grow there and cherry e06fdee1b8 liquor wasn’t produced there. Of course, the 824d7a8082 storage and drinking ea0870a500 methods weren’t completely 160c9a4dfd different from ordinary 75a092ef18 Kirsch, and it fbe4dc10b2 wasn’t a rare 5c9d7b63cd delicacy that barely 159a257ec8 made it into 41f0479e16 the palace once 575f946255 a year. This liquor 96a4ffd0d0 never existed.5edd1e384c029825

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He was lucky. Mrs. Fisher seemed to believe his explanation. If she didn’t, he would have had to sneak into the guest room where Regan Fisher was staying in the middle of the night.0ff6e740305d7da2

Mrs. Fisher said she would guide him to the room where Regan Fisher was. “You’re so kind.” He smiled. Mrs. Fisher also smiled back. “Allium, you’re very kind too.” Kind, huh. Would she still think c848b11bda I was kind if 7c98ff0046 she knew I have 1fc03dfcbf come to kill her e81ba4318d husband?He was curious about a7ccc8a846 it.1a5a92156de3775f

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The light of the 60707c449c chandelier sparkled behind his d58742b410 back. It was a big, f7dec042ba warm, and dazzling light. The brighter the light, 22121da8d1 the darker the shadow. A black shadow like d52e32318c the nights at the 660853009e penitentiary stretched out under 3b7065a68a his feet.810b031d46818662

Strychnine.60767d8a77b03cf9

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A poison extracted from the seeds and bark of its tree. A small amount could be used as a stimulant, but consuming more than that paralyzed the nerves and caused the muscles to contract, leading to an agonizing death by suffocation. It’s famous for being the “laughing death,” but contrary to popular belief, it didn’t actually make the victim laugh. The facial expression just changed to a smile as the muscles contracted.54cd5282d38d5e18

The lethal dose is 1-2 mg per 1 kg. According to what Pharrell taught him, Regan’s weight was 65 kg, so he prepared a generous amount of 150 mg, which would be more than enough. If the lethal dose was ingested, it would take no more than 2 minutes for him to die.1fa33bc4b6578f67

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2 minutes.e4ec24e85764d377

He checked 2ac82dfa32 his wristwatch. 11:29:12. In 2 minutes, Regan 901cea70b2 Fisher would be dead.ce8ce19b0be7f488

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He seated in Regan Fisher’s chair, drank the Kirsch, and looked down at the writhing Regan Fisher in a businesslike manner. Regan Fisher seemed to be in severe pain and was unable to make any sound, twisting his body. His eyes were slowly widening and his lips were starting to curl upwards in an expression that seemed to form a smile as his muscles contracted.c54ac4624b8c340f

The Kirsch a23735192f that Regan b38db1af4a Fisher drank d544005f9d was not 44a8a84899 pure cherry 9805b830e3 liquor. It was a 9d3a4ab675 mixture of large 74e1866209 amounts of cherry 303d6cef29 liquor (a cheap, 57a69dd9d6 trashy one sold e8b403ab36 on the streets) 100c3cb6e8 and a small 558b455167 amount of chloroform, b095460ac0 in which 150 cf230efc55 mg of strychnine 6aa8b1b3f5 was dissolved.703e405c314b56d3

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Regan Fisher c39abcbc97 was his 351ced17ed target. Or more 44e8db14ae precisely, the 443ae5b001 target of a93da060a0 Pharrell, the 099630fc0e one who f39ef03d63 gave him a4a65fc459 orders. And even more precisely, 0b14be0438 the target of a e88e45aa33 faceless ‘higher-up person’ who f2d8ef7819 could give orders even a139421eeb to Pharrell, the warden a854e64a3b of the Lute Penitentiary.a0a9b660e7bf29fe

Over the past 7 years, he had eliminated eleven targets on the orders of Pharrell and the ‘higher-up’. He never asked why they had to be eliminated. He wasn’t particularly curious about it, and didn’t need to be. He had only overheard that they were secretly eliminating people who couldn’t be publicly punished for some reason.1f20fabe7e4a5192

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Someone had a342978980 plotted a 8f4851f843 rebellion, someone d9845a3203 had been 52f7190b25 secretly eating b416902bbd away at 2f0b4c87d0 the national def2917415 treasury, and 56cd8ebcac someone had 58230d3e13 created a 94c3bcd5aa secret organization ab29195a11 to kidnap, 9cb00a29eb rape, and 5748a05590 kill international c2f1016e73 figures in 3879ec0cc0 order to 33b14a4af7 disrupt diplomatic c8feab1840 relations and 95eddb6b43 ignite a e2c9074f1d war.d57a266ba7d0e5d4

In Regan Fisher’s case, the twelfth target, the reason was that he had sold military secrets to the enemy country. An insider had turned him in. The fact that thousands, even tens of thousands of civilians would be sacrificed in the event of war, according to the insider’s warning, had been ignored.f1efea832db67698

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…10 seconds, 11 seconds, 12 seconds. As it became 11:31:12, he took his eyes off the watch and got up from his seat. Regan Fisher, lying at his feet, did not move. As is typical of those killed by strychnine, his eyes were wide open and his face was frozen in a smile-like expression, completely still.fc6a783767794ad7

He left 11e8d669fd the room, 9ea7b9df9b not through 31c87f2f42 the door cd2737dd67 where the cb963fcdfa servants were 5d1c199039 waiting, but b9ea111fd9 through the 245cf4333c balcony. He easily climbed 05cb7dbef4 down to the 22334bf5e4 ground using the 18fb050ae3 balcony railing, window e701da48b5 columns, and wall bd3b7b6681 decorations.f1d4c50dd5c8cba0

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It was a bf9d71e5d5 clear, cool autumn f581fcb4b4 night with a 1a0b55e3b5 full moon. A chilly wind 11af6d9657 blew from somewhere. He stopped and waited dea00ee505 for the wind to 5a928c4972 die down, not even 785c879e76 noticing his neatly combed 743c39cc5f hair and suit being a18124d115 disheveled by the wind. It was a 7f0bfa8a7d 7-year-old habit of 8fcbf7bdb6 his not to 067411a9f5 just let the 2a90a7705c wind pass by.eb86bb50e4852592

As he left the castle, the carriage prepared by Pharrell was waiting. As soon as he got in, the coachman asked, “Did you kill him?”54503983ff83ea4c

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He took off the tailcoat suit and put on the coat prepared on the seat. He messed up his hair with his hands, making it into a disheveled mess. “You can check in tomorrow’s 《1682a42b2937e8a5

Daily McEwan》, on the front page.”b8c556010fe6523b

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After the confirmation, 393ac411eb the coachman handed 9fab0e1ae5 him a sleeping 308cbc7e8e pill. Pharrell didn’t allow 1f1d5dc71f him to be d48706df97 awake anywhere other d92c17aabe than the site 8ab99997bd of the mission, e2a37dcfdf meaning he had f64722ef5d to be asleep 71cdda46cd on the carriage 98750d201d both coming to 7b62e236f8 and leaving McEwan 106f70d3f9 Castle.51cfe937a8f4ce10

He didn’t know the reason. It might be because they were afraid he would try to escape during the trip, or because they thought he would be tired from carrying out the mission. Or maybe not. Regardless of the reason, he had to obey absolutely.a6eeb86fef6f754d

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The sleeping 2addd3b752 pill took 125780489d effect quickly. As his consciousness began 092eff6dc8 to fade, he habitually ccb051ae09 checked his watch. 11:58. Looking at the 16a94b0a4d large tilted hands 2a1b9d652d between 11 and 128d090471 12, he recalled 003f40924b a voice. The voice of the 8d987e609b man who said he b330797813 would go out to 78aa234fbd get some air when b0b3e749dd the big hand pointed e7c29d6575 to 11, and would 79d013b3db come back before the e7860edcc3 big hand pointed to c8a9b81427 12, and then they 16133fe47f would go to sleep.17789316730460e3

Would the man d3a3eacd30 be asleep too?e52b6d5604157806

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In Bunch, the capital, the place with everything, where there were theaters and a parliament and libraries and art galleries and a museum, the place where he became so happy that he didn’t need to dream anymore, was the man also sleeping there now?ac48fe61bcd2f4be

In the place he d7b3ef6cdf could never go, how 9eff494c7e happy would the man 5716437550 be sleeping right now?8eb5d418fab3ea5e

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His consciousness faded. A frightening blackness 5474179a12 of sleep rushed c841db94f6 to him.b87e5b81853408d4

***56a847d272e6a85c

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The past 7 years could be divided into two periods. The time when he didn’t know the fact that he shouldn’t meet the man again, and the time when he did know.8e85b0453e33653f

The former 77ab651856 was the 6aabebb472 first year, ef3632db2d and the 3919682d47 latter was 5d6fcda4db the following 81ee32852c 6 years.8c411f6bef93259a

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During the first year, 654af797c5 Pharrell taught him how b590ba334e to precisely eliminate the a7b5ff8e9f targets. He taught him about 6f77b67445 firearms, vital points, and cceaaa9dbb how wolfsbane causes cardiac b08335cffe arrest, monkshood causes asphyxiation, 3e938fec27 and belladonna causes cardiac ef61a51137 arrest.0acaedf5031783e2

Next, he taught him common sense, like the fact that it was the year 1907, and that Prince Lewellyn, the heir to the throne, was born nearly 20 years ago. When he said “Lewellyn? Lewellyn is my name,” he was slapped hard. Pharrell, an extreme royalist, found it blasphemous for him to claim such a name.f729f9d2cdcf1cf0

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Pharrell said dc9c662d87 he had 504d755212 no name. He argued that ddf1d382b6 he had the 871f5e7856 name Lewellyn, which 135c4de32b Shavonne had given 891cc46774 him, but when 2ac075bfa3 Pharrell snorted and f58051cd08 pointed out that 9062c54e26 no one would c6ffdb4db0 call him that 427e674399 since Shavonne was d8b5f5b938 gone forever, he 9fa86935e7 became as silent 1b1b1a888a as a mute.3bd255013dd99dea

That’s how he became “he.” He couldn’t be Lewellyn anymore.c656e1f2e01a8120

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Towards the end of the first year, Pharrell corrected him when he saw visions of Shavonne’s back disappearing in the black dust of the oven, the darkness of the closet, and the grayish surface of the empty barrel. At first, Pharrell thought it would improve with time, but his mental delusions only worsened as time passed.a74bef0129735570

Pharrell said Shavonne had left. That it was time to let go of Shavonne. He said he didn’t want to let go. He said he wanted to become a person to meet Shavonne again.74ebde8e5ba1e3cc

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— That’s a bad idea.d2667261c2bdb824

Pharrell said.d5829df9570a4e88

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— Why 06fcafad7b do you f25e8f23a0 think Shavonne 5c32a0ee4d left you?341a527c064a0983

— Be-because dc18f78a1d he hated 1e441a1afe me.a7d14cac2da9b144

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— Why e10067f9e3 do you 39e396e6ef think Shavonne 11ff82a79c hated you?1970e98366117c16

— …ef81414af9c5dd8e

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— Because 2ee99cf57e he was 8710b0e706 unhappy.f4d1f1b619d2f46d

— …02611fd614c747e0

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— Because 5ac8929c4c he was d2a04d9bce unhappy being 71a6053f4d with you.32d2dff1cf30808d

— …d3156db4e351d851

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— Now Shavonne is perfectly happy. He’s become a famous writer. Everyone in Bunch knows the name Shavonne. He’s treated as an expert writer, living in a three-story mansion on the elite Rewood Street, which is the crème de la crème of Bunch. He has a family. He has a fiancée and a cat named Clara because he doesn’t like dogs. He has a ton of friends – a doctor, a pianist, a florist boy, a photographer, a journalist… He even has parties every Friday. I hear he’s also loaded with money, overflowing with it, you might say.fa28476e33df833e

— …692d48fa70863fbf

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— If you go to him, he’ll be unhappy.dd0f88ee9ddebe7f

— …c159be1d4d9fbd6b

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— If you interfere with his life, he’ll be unhappy.0fbbe1c0027c6f4d

— …b11c7206562c5785

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— It doesn’t matter if you’re a dog or a person, it’s because it’s you. It’s because it’s you what makes Shavonne unhappy.e84a5d70d9869543

— …792db699fc530646

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— Do you 2d8fa3b1ad want to make 50439f3469 Shavonne unhappy?803111130a4f9ae3

Making Shavonne unhappy.b61182028b2cdf7e

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Bleeding transparent blood, e9c0aad5d7 his smile changed 734e39cb06 to a straight 76ed23f288 line. The temperature fluctuated wildly, 24c61f97c2 becoming chilly then warm.d32a523a1a4ae06e

…He didn’t want that. Not at all.1865f0a030b8f7dc

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He shook cadcab513a his head.83e726a9b05fd793

When he said that if he couldn’t meet Shavonne, there was no reason for him to become a person, and that he should just be disposed of, Pharrell said,27159654475f14f6

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— I 3d1c33777c want you daf1bb6cae to become 9e232cf750 a person.587eb85fbbbc142a

— But…6c4f8e519d2b2e52

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He didn’t want to become a person. Why do I have to become a person if I can’t meet Shavonne?He was about to 51eab8edbc say that, but Pharrell 71b87f2dfc spoke first.30325b0609e5f626

— I’ll make sure Shavonne is happy forever.84cd4b042a77a017

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— …6e5fd056e396b961

— If you 367f56b000 become a person db0d534ec7 for me.a88da4b8084dd5de

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His ears perked up. He looked up at Pharrell blankly. Pharrell’s words were sweet.53efe6c4047392c6

— This 022e29015a is the fad2669177 only way f7555993b6 you can a3d9fc2efa make Shavonne 2ae635303a happy.bd71fd7fd7f9d5bd

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— …cea1d83c0b60d313

— What do you think? Don’t you want to?2ebb80339704f16a

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He wanted to. Extremely, extremely, extremely, 78f48411ad extremely, extremely, extremely 7fce4c1fc8 wanted to. He wanted to 847c1c4c3f make the present bfedcb121c Shavonne happy as 1cfbb9c344 much as he 8aa7c2cdde had made the 8c23f6fa34 past Shavonne unhappy. He knew that f9d5a578d4 was the only f13a8c36ae atonement and the 4c4af94c6d only way of e8deeaab2c loving allowed to 178a5791fb him.104ba5322e0ce1f2

— I want 25560bb636 to.63047d05d75b278c

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He answered.584cc1e673362c4f

After that day, he no longer called Shavonne by his name. He called him “the man.” He thought he couldn’t and shouldn’t dare to utter that name, the name of the one he had made unhappy.212b4bf7d5214031

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With the e9e0a20f10 man there, 5c1086f643 he was c90efe0c85 able to 03883e0e6f endure the e96e8fe09b suffocating stench 3438d6104b of death 2f7b9a66c3 when he b030418c90 strangled the 85df770e23 first target, 9ddf016ac5 stabbed the a821ed0db3 second target, e1362e8a62 and shot c911809dc7 the third 6df233e30c target. With the man there, d4286dfa7d he was able to e72f9b8fb9 get used to being a2cc40e93c drenched in the hot, 6a6f26464f sticky, and bloody aftermath. He became 4b14c6edb2 numb to b54b306150 it.28ff93484a247477

With the man 182d777211 there, he was 6cdd0aa48b able to live.9d57c55b0a254225

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And perhaps, 870a15a7ae just perhaps, ccb971f8b6 with the a801fb97ff man there, 3a69b178b3 he was ef001b5d1f unable to 5375f334c6 die.be7d467748feabf8

That’s how the 7 years passed. That’s how the 2,826 days passed. That’s how the large clock hand tilted from 11 to 12 for 2,826 times.2220e04c8c1ad572

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Three days 3e7f2d15c0 after carrying 3406c47f04 out the c54146df78 Regan Fisher 6b50e66cf5 mission and e794970871 returning to 3c1911af5c the penitentiary, 5eef3e4dad he learned 3335f68e8b that everything 70e56ac8af had been 84ff7edcd1 a lie.63468ab42c551f71

***94e0f6b87059854f

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He just went to ask for a sleeping pill because he couldn’t sleep.32fff475653906c1

— …There’s no… other way…6596a46e7ce6a1f0

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Pharrell’s voice seeped through the small gap in the closed door. He didn’t eavesdrop on purpose. He just had good hearing. If he could hear the voices beyond the iron door that was as thick as an adult’s forearm, it was only natural that he could hear the voices through the thin wooden door.609737c2531fc67d

Pharrell’s voice became clearer.dac07a5409fef1d1

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“…The military secrets Fisher leaked involve us, so I have no choice. If by any chance the existence of the penitentiary becomes widely known, Bosch will definitely turn against our country.”4509eba9a8e60516

“But Bosch is a neutral country…”6550dc4742f3d8ed

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“Just because they say they are neutral doesn’t mean they actually are, you know? If that snobbish parliament Bosch has sides with the powerful ones, using fancy words like human rights and such, instead of us, we will definitely lose the war, clearly. It’s not just Bosch turning its back on us, it’s the entire United Nations that Bosch has on its back turning their back on us.”1bd5a340e48bba56

Such incomprehensible words. He was about to go into the room to ask for the sleeping pill. That is, if he hadn’t heard Pharrell’s voice.4cde1ef4d6b7b1f2

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“The penitentiary will close.”5b3c5376bc8d4fcb

His body froze.fcf776c74728760d

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“No, it would be more accurate to say it has already been closed. A royal decree to immediately close the penitentiary was issued ten days ago. We have to evacuate the penitentiary. As clean as if not a single person has been here in nearly 30 years, except for the Caucasians(*nomadic people).”d2067ed41f62ed0f

“What about the records?”06246c5967ba4f8f

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“They all have to be erased. Not a single one can be left behind.”c081f19e0f6a673f

“Even the dog?”1827712123e7ab91

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“Are you asking because you don’t know? The dog has to be the top priority for disposal.”348b6befbdea791d

Penitentiary. Closed. Royal decree. Dog. Disposal. Although he 2dc9016624 understood the 70b76b8dec meaning, these d045007832 unfamiliar words 931893a771 floated in 07c6e03fe4 his head. Then, the 18254f2158 unfamiliar man 5abd649806 hesitated but 98c84e2c68 asked,4e531247226aeeb0

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“Should we also stop keeping track of Shavonne?”c5a3b6073f61cea0

The unfamiliar 117b167c77 man carelessly df7880ecdc uttered that 7bc8da44c6 name, a a52f76c0b9 name that f8a1056168 he could fcbbf5099e never have e0413eba30 dared to 132a1b551d speak again. Blue veins protruded on 5ff76a0d7e the hand gripping the 1375564b1e doorknob.d54c365e95117fda

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“Shavonne? Who was that again?”849ea131ca23c0d6

As he lowered 8305cc8e79 his head, his f13560d2d5 breath suddenly stopped.89c423e1d93960dd

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Pharrell doesn’t remember Shavonne?023f8c6b61e554c6

— I want you 5b996341df to become a person.cf5a496a4160e20d

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— But…856e3b567c7d955e

— I’ll make sure Shavonne is happy forever.69ec2ded4c1ca5ef

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The Pharrell who had said that, doesn’t remember Shavonne?c79498f7db853b61

“Ah, you mean that idiot?”f2d45bdf3fa0f042

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Pharrell’s voice sharply rose. He was rooted to the spot. His face, as well as the hand gripping the doorknob, turned deathly pale.7799ce895ea46b54

“Is he still alive? Well, I guess he has to be if there’s still a job for you, Frasier. I can’t believe he hasn’t committed suicide yet. If I were him, I would have killed myself immediately after becoming a mentally ill pauper with no memory. Well, is he doing well? Does he remember anything?”23500093b49a4d23

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“I don’t know what your criteria on ‘doing well’ is. He has no family. He’s had lovers, but he always broke up with them after a short while. As for friends… his relationships with other people are all pretty much nonexistent.”393689af9e4d32a2

“What about money? Doesn’t he do some kind of ghostwriting or something? Has he made some money at least?”62b7e0d884c42ef0

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“Well, if he made money, he wouldn’t be living in that crumbling tenement on Ira Street, would he?”16fe52e5236c5309

“Ira Street? My goodness. If I were him, I would have hanged myself from one of the giant trees in Rewood Square rather than live on Ira Street. How dreadful.”9f4567bc23a7377e

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“…There seems to be nothing wrong with his memory.”21e83019f912448f

He felt an urge 2566536305 to burst into the a05282563b room. He wanted to e2663dc117 grab the two 5d7d81a4dc men and ask, d8d42ac4e3 while strangling them, f41259f6cb stabbing them, or ba9878e4d3 pointing a gun 48476728fd at them, what 6b1dae56b7 this was all 2790866a76 about.32e02e91adf7ef5e

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Shavonne was supposed to e63a72db34 be perfectly happy. He was 0d52b94296 supposed to 79c072e04b be a 57d50a138a famous writer 0ab15d2910 known to bd6cce5ccb everyone in 1615039d99 Bunch, treated aa866be6fb as an f7480a9a3d expert writer 2d3cfce633 living in a8bde66cc3 a three-story 68e22f2a41 mansion on 32ac8fa413 Rewood Street.8a807778ba287496

He was supposed to have a family, a fiancée, and a cat named Clara. He was supposed to have friends – a doctor, a pianist, a florist boy, a photographer, a journalist, and more. He was supposed to be so rich he was ‘overflowing with it’, as they said. He was supposed to be happy because he, Lewellyn, was gone, because he, Lewellyn, didn’t go meet him.e97e0cccc9494987

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So what’s all this?8471a0cb20942991

“Two days ago, a spy ship from Bosch is said to have set sail. The Bosch spy is already on his way to monitor me. It seems Bosch believes that if they dig into me, they can find evidence that the rumor of the penitentiary is true.”faa9cc9f22d6f1bb

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“What are you going to do?”03fa9a1740f53434

“I’ve decided to go into hiding. You’ll be in charge of wrapping things up neatly until then.”6ca0d5d805986147

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“…So that’s why you called me here.”88110a4fd6896777

“Don’t you like it? The king has promised to reward all the senior officials of the penitentiary once everything has settled down. Of course, you and I are included. If your cleanup is neat enough that I don’t even need to get involved, I’ll even whisper your name especially to the king.”38b4b121ff23f5c2

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“Thank you.”92677e2dd3bd1abd

A sound followed, as 0df1715d29 if straightening his collar.49eba814188ce133

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“Don’t forget that I’m counting on you.”3e180a1995ab4b6f

The strange 33b5a9520d man didn’t c475e16cdc answer.bdfc1f331c9f99c2

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The sound of Pharrell’s footsteps approaching signaled his departure with a goodbye, saying he was going to the royal decree. Lewellyn snapped out of it. Should I strangle Pharrell? Stab him? Aim a gun at him? Or grab him by the collar and interrogate him…?In an instant, cf340e1c73 countless possibilities flashed ae7cda7fc4 through his mind.ef67049c19ee924f

But he did not choose any of them. What he chose was to return to his solitary confinement cell. He decided to wait until Pharrell could no longer leave. Of course, he didn’t just meekly return. He stole a dagger, the only item he was allowed to possess.67711dc7aae98183

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The door to the b6160479fb solitary cell was opened 58b3c1dd1f a week after Pharrell 4e4dc960ce left for the royal 42a157dd2f decree. By then, 043555a175 the penitentiary 4a7adca3a9 was already 9ac890e366 completely empty. There were no guards, 2b2d621d7d no inmates. The only things 3f8eb2a8ba there were him, 9ae1fa755b who was about 1a0137ce4e to be disposed 7f94051df8 of, and three 6058003c3c men who had 22d4793463 come to dispose 9ba35f5a3b of him.14364909a6c73025

The three men immediately shoved Pharrell’s order at him as soon as the door opened. ‘Proceed to the incinerator,’ it read. If he had not overheard the conversation between Pharrell and the nameless man, he would have followed without asking, without arguing, without being curious.d1102cfcf85e815e

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Because the deal 7 f9d17fe9c5 years ago had made 6d6b782534 him swear absolute obedience 393278bd83 to the warden of 6dd1446272 Lute Penitentiary, not to 74167bad8b bite the guards, and 7f17480d6b not to do any 3fe9cb209d unauthorized acts. But the 15d1b6b3e6 situation was 85a5f45185 different now. The deal aa38828b4c itself was adddfa0fbe a deception. Since Pharrell had 660f8d1aa1 not kept his 2ccc0dae56 promise, he had eac0570c95 no reason to 035f7511fb keep his.021d95ac919f325e

He pretended to edbbf432ba follow the three 8aa3196a99 men, then strangled 16534b9d1d one, stabbed two, ca13412ac2 and threw their fe8855fa45 bodies into the 6f2051ba54 incinerator. The smell of 4584ed4859 burning bodies was d1fe564a12 not as bad 28dc91eaef as he had 45529a80f6 expected. Smelling that, he cd89ccefd7 slowly recalled the b91cebf622 faces of Pharrell, c2bfd4ac25 the Superintendent. the Vice Warden and 054ee020e1 the other guards.76a6c54ac1114b12

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Pharrell had thought of him as too much of an idiot. He was going to show Pharrell that he was not an idiot, that he was not a dog, that he was a person even if Pharrell didn’t call him one. And he was going to go find the only person who knew he was a person. Yes, the only one who knew Lewellyn was a person.eb29becaabe825cd

— When dogs 272357fac4 get hurt, they 80dd55917e lick their wounds. What was it? Dogs have 4562d58029 some kind 3053d29d50 of bacteria c459ac4dca or something 3059b607c0 in their 395450a70c saliva that 7855e54a2c heals wounds.d6686c3cad7dddbe

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— When people 108204930f get hurt, they 613dccb5bf clean the wounds a25f0ca7f7 either with water 60121f832b or by applying 15fdc940ea disinfectant. If that doesn’t 517b4d2d6a work, they wipe ef372d912a it with a 3c2fedbc2c clean cloth.c66eff8b134f660b

— You didn’t lick your wounds.1c15c637a8c4cd8e

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— You wiped your 13d97ac2fc wounds with a clean 0d171e9b6b cloth.96aa37f15dddbdae

Recalling that 02031ec9a3 voice, Lewellyn 2dfb641960 murmured,Shavonne. It had been Llewellyn’s world without a moment’s absence, and he murmured that name which he couldn’t utter aloud.1f5bce46c42a377a

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It was a winter night. A clear night without stars. The cold air touched his cheeks. Lewellyn changed into the clothes of the men he had killed, choosing the one with the least blood. It was dark at night, and the clothes were black, so the blood was barely visible. In the vast penitentiary where only the ashes of the three corpses remained, the penitentiary where Lewellyn was born and raised, the penitentiary that had bound Lewellyn’s entire life, Lewellyn escaped.cffc001e405ee569

The wind blew. It was towards Bunch. There was no longer any reason why he couldn’t go there.ce8dae9451583702

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At 3:16 a.m. on a Christmas morning when the entire streets of South Bunch were covered in white snow, Lewellyn went to Shavonne’s tenement.094fe384be25f6e3

What was worse, 14877ffdb0 killing a man, 0b97523330 or killing a 94b96aff7c man and taking 028505556c his money and 7e3489daf3 possessions?fcb571ccb2139740

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The sunset was fading outside the window. At Lewellyn’s feet by the window stood Ed Boe’s corpse.6fd9d5cd817501ec

The tilted head didn’t budge an inch. The eyes were wide open, revealing the turned-up whites, and the face was devoid of color, without so much as a quiver. The only thing moving was the blood gushing up from Ed Boe’s neck, precisely from the slit Adam’s apple. The floor was a sea of blood. The blood that had flowed down along the grooves of the wooden floor had soaked the carpet bright red.ec474b96340ffe65

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In contrast to d085ab71e3 the bloodstained Ed 9da4dffb11 Boe, Lewellyn was 22f3dd9497 clean from head 71d2353d91 to toe. With the exception of 405b797ca8 a few drops of e67f2289cf blood splattered on his f30d691523 face.Tsk.Wiping his 39f69c3224 face with ff67b6ef9e his sleeve, 5c2f9431ab he briefly b301d57ebb clicked his 45f7314d27 tongue. The blade ad951a8a35 of the 3f21945a27 knife he e8e34d5aa1 was holding 3152af47b0 gleamed a 76cf68fa23 bright red, 448faa6339 reflecting the 5cfe908d41 sunset.f0d395e6fa0746e8

How many times had Ed Boe worked on Lewellyn with the red-hot poker at Lute Penitentiary? Slowly racking his memory, he couldn’t recall. The only thing he remembered was that Ed Boe had taught him how to slit a throat. If Lewellyn failed to learn quickly, a red-hot poker would come flying at his body.e50122bdbbf6d49f

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Lewellyn didn’t like the 34348bb7f4 red-hot poker. When the red-hot 0801791861 poker seared his f1b842a8af flesh, it hurt, f9928f82ac a wound would a78ede9377 open, and pus 8a0d5c0d64 and blood would a44e59971b soon form, but 814404f16e Shavonne, who used 33ee8e228a to clean it, be7c3a90fa was no longer 210d7b038e by his side.835089a0f16c1f74

As a result, Lewellyn learned quickly. In about a month after Ed Boe started teaching him, in the blink of an eye, he had mastered the art of slitting a person’s throat. He also learned the trick of not getting covered in blood, as Ed Boe explained that if he got blood on him during a mission, it would draw unnecessary attention during his escape.c111672bf51364e1

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In retrospect, Ed Boe was a good teacher. Thanks to what Ed Boe taught him, today Lewellyn slit Ed Boe’s throat in the blink of an eye. He didn’t get covered in blood either, so he wouldn’t draw unnecessary attention when he fled.31af4b634fbcda16

He opened the bag he had prepared and pushed Ed Boe’s body into it. Due to his small stature, the body fit in the bag with plenty of room to spare. Lewellyn looked around Ed Boe’s house. It was a nice house. A fireplace, a wall cabinet with gold-threaded curtains, a cuckoo clock that popped out when the hour struck…7b9d6c579cd3ed7e

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Suddenly, Shavonne’s house came to mind. The public housing on Ira Street that he had peeked through the keyhole. The cramped room, the low ceiling, the moldy walls and the shabby floor flashed through his mind, and Lewellyn’s lower lip was bitten involuntarily.7f389a5325e84812

It should have been Shavonne, not Ed Boe, who lived here. Shavonne should have become a famous writer known to all Bunch, living with a cat named Clara, hosting parties every Friday, and perhaps, just perhaps… living with Lewellyn.a13dc317eed1399d

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He knew he couldn’t just uproot this house and stuff it in the bag like transplanting a tree. Instead, Lewellyn slowly examined Ed Boe’s belongings. The fireplace, the wall cabinet with gold-threaded curtains, and the cuckoo clock that popped out when the hour struck were imprinted on his retina and then erased.3f480c53e5e4be86

Is it worse 254545d849 to kill a 2a3c573acb person or to f2301c5880 kill a person 4f38a2d19d and take their 0104b3498d possessions?7623e86bcf470129

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He had no desire 288ff35db7 to be good. Lewellyn knew he a4a1acdbb4 was not a 083927aa79 good being.61ec99454567f6c3

During his solitary f0ca735be0 confinement, Lewellyn had 8e1b07ffb0 attacked the guards ad8733b633 without distinction. After being released from a960fa115f solitary, he eliminated the 39ee3ee971 targets as ordered, by 9bfadfe5ce knife, gun, hands, poison, 12e00057e6 or noose. And from 7ad692f341 now on, a42e185508 he would f91bac2d82 kill all 4d315479d6 the guards d64aa227b1 who had ae112ae9b8 worked on 31f37c89df him and a72397b567 Shavonne.24b186129ceb0f24

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Lewellyn was irredeemably 7842b3ab12 evil. The choice he 66ec604dd9 had was not a0383aa45d whether to be 418bd0fa88 good or evil, 576c85e0d9 but how to f1ad902843 be evil.3df1916c43693c5e

If someone saw b7cf8d29d1 him, they would 8b2543c030 label him a ff97fd1f52 murderer or a 26df150913 thief. Suddenly, an erratic bd17bee2bd laughter burst out. The erratic laughter soon 441f67f9c7 turned into uproarious laughter. He laughed until f6b245dfc0 tears welled up b76561b0d8 in his eyes. Just as he was 9a6b7ad30a about to stop laughing, c56915919c he would start again d46ad4b756 at the thought.d5a605681cd09d6f

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A robber. The idea that Lewellyn was a cheap robber! He was so happy. Lewellyn finally realized that he had become a person. A dog couldn’t be a murderer even if it wanted to be, couldn’t be a robber even if it wanted to be, but Lewellyn, the Lewellyn who had become a person, could so easily become a murderer and a robber.800dd16aa0c5401b

There was no reason to hesitate in choosing. Shortly after, Lewellyn left Ed Boe’s house. The bag in his hand contained money and Ed Boe’s corpse, killed in the way Ed Boe had taught him. And before that Christmas passed, a body was found two blocks away from the apartment building on Ira Street in South Bunch where Shavonne lived.6aa66abe76c854f6

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Lewellyn displayed Ed Boe’s body in a way that made it impossible to identify.cb948604d2116947

The police were puzzled. Why displaying it? He could have safely disposed of it in the woods, a river, or an abandoned factory, but displaying it? The police concluded that it was the self-aggrandizement of a serial killer. There were also rumors among the public that it was a mockery of the police’s incompetence. Of course, Lewellyn’s motive for displaying the body was neither self-aggrandizement nor mockery. It was simply to strangle the guards.2c9d125d5edd18c4

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After Lute Penitentiary was 72aba3f0f6 closed, the guards scattered 7a7a02940b throughout the country. They may not 4905e33da4 know yet that fc943b095f their colleagues are 1cac8b87b6 dying one by 61c89256da one. But they d07a88a79a will soon ef25910342 find out. Seeing the 2737a0456e familiar scars 052e2e5c54 on the 30444f9a51 unidentified body, 64d2c902f2 the familiar ff89fe424b tattoos, the 3007c054e6 familiar bald 7eb811ab33 head and 8b97fd9074 the large 783ab91259 mole on 24cec353df the back 38982b138e of the 19141b5796 neck. The fear 5d187c0bcc that the 5c6c8153c9 next victim 24e2fde753 may be 9eb8c52181 themselves will 374007f15e overwhelm them. They will 651a8b59dc tremble and 66b1f33bfa spend each 7fb643aaee day in 782a3f1fa5 terror.d0c0c262bc5e2821

Yes, the terror that had enveloped Lewellyn’s entire life.9a7cc8ecd1fcbde2

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Of course, there 63dc59ee97 was a way 9255a5b2df to kill without ca5085b6d1 giving them a d712b44d1c chance to feel cca83f168b fear, but Lewellyn 5e75448661 didn’t do that. It was because 3fd0bbf211 Lewellyn, the serial 7f405aa202 killer, was a edd66a2d1c hunter, not a 599e68843e butcher. The quality e98867beba required for 417de3eac7 a hunter 1dbff5a21d was patience. Lewellyn wanted to a9c0ef77e2 work on them 5bf44f2efd the same way 17f0afc41c he had been b3f20aeb29 treated.6d60afe953420d2b

And there eff55b788c was one a522b56669 more purpose b6b812b554 for the 4c7efb6bbe use of d55f4c4d59 the bodies.7b870b8148bc0e72

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To awaken Shavonne’s lost memories.6853c846a0e3d9b8

He could have said, “You came to Lute Penitentiary as a guard 8 years ago and left 7 years ago. We met then and did all sorts of things.” But Lewellyn didn’t. He didn’t want to be treated like a crazy person by Shavonne, who had no memory.7c85964af42fc689

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Lewellyn’s task was to show Shavonne clues so that he could regain his own memory. He was not sure whether it would work, since he didn’t know how the penitentiary had erased Shavonne’s memory.06a00a4c28987cfe

― Hello…?7945565ddfa448eb

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― Anyway, there’s no dog as handsome as you. I’m serious.eb3ae6c4bfff5146

― You 7195d79ac3 need to 1bbb005012 get better. Instead of just letting 4376a75237 the words go in fc8390a37d one ear and out 9312bd737b the other, you need 94398768d4 to listen carefully.a128054073c50ca7

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― … ’round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME’ beautifully printed on it in large letters’… You’re not listening, are you?7c067a744729d631

― I know. I guess it’s because I like you.e6740bffcf9e720d

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― Do you want 036e220692 to do a face?f0ec2be43f4b455e

That smile. That voice.9695f0a7284b8afa

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Life was hard 32d9d451f5 for everyone, but f3d9f0ae4b there was something 5b043e26e0 in every living 6e2f0e1fdd person that prevented 2d465a3405 them from giving de371fd351 up on life. For some, it a09925abba was desire, for 101126fe7e others guilt, for 7ee87fff76 others responsibility, for 0c3662d191 others hope. For Lewellyn, it 3a1a1ac255 was memory. The memories d58b7ab6ee Shavonne gave a387446a6a him kept 143c45007f him alive. Even if Shavonne himself 5db25fb2dc remembered nothing.518de55ebbc143a8

Now he wished he would remember. He wanted Shavonne to know that Shavonne was the reason Lewellyn lived, the reason Lewellyn became a person. He wanted Shavonne to know that Shavonne was Lewellyn’s desire, guilt, responsibility, and hope.185756b0c20c5a68

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He wanted all of this so that Lewellyn’s humble and noble love could finally come to fruition.88ef4d20fcf21afb

***c2be2b47332ffd26

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A body 3b2c7ec173 was found 547ba0bc53 two blocks 504cfd6aa9 away from b666c440c3 the public a44d6f568a housing on fb6dcdc302 Ira Street be0516b533 in South 23d77d3521 Bunch, where 0595c221d6 Shavonne lived, a035a619f0 before the 83899a3553 new year. It was the body 6ebec6555d of a prison guard.83d40779df765206

Then, the new 1f752d6664 year arrived.a414815a59b59d6b

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It was 1915. The first 5ed2a1687a year Lewellyn 7d64788a5c had lived b8c43a9651 as a 6a72b77f39 human being. Memories had accumulated by e20d47ba34 another year. It had 9fe4bd329c been 8 a6a073fe1d to 9 f18f889b9b years since f490e6ef33 he met 35c73ab3b7 Shavonne, and 96eb9bcf14 7 to 8954a97435 8 years d2151a6e06 since he 2561381945 parted with 9e21a5c088 Shavonne. He had moved 49b416149a into Ira Public bd79fb319f Housing, room 302, f0b7812660 last year, or 12ff49b675 more precisely, about 788f2f911d 2 weeks ago.d92701bcf0e9ff7a

For 2 weeks, Lewellyn hadn’t seen Shavonne’s face even once. The only thing he could see was the notes he had diligently posted on the door being torn off time and time again.0a8142ebfb3ef98e

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Lewellyn was sad. He was tempted to break down the door and barge in, just like when he was locked up in the solitary cell at the penitentiary. Shavonne was just holed up at home, not going out at all. It’s not that he never went out, but he only went out when Lewellyn was gone (mostly when Lewellyn was out killing or preparing for it), so it was as good as not going out at all.49ae22650f0fe70e

That’s why, the day after the note saying ‘You’re so mean >:(‘ was torn to shreds, he hadn’t expected to see Shavonne.66d5f514e47a47f2

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That day, it was ef0f29ae64 around sunset. Just as Lewellyn was 5d4c4e9b0d about to enter the 0c5dec9d2d Ira public housing, carrying 45dccb2ab2 a bundle of onions 22917abdb4 he had just bought, a7260852cf he spotted someone in 01ede09fb1 the distance, arguing with b5d9047581 the janitor.97166aca7d06d376

But that voice…97a1fb834d17a249

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“Shit, I just threw it away because it had trash stuck to it, and now you’re making me pay a fine? Aren’t you being too much?”ce36099063a6f9c0

Lewellyn, who had been about to casually enter the Ira public housing, stopped in his tracks. He couldn’t move an inch, as if he were nailed down.fc6a32e14a93415f

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It was a familiar voice. Compared to 8 years ago, it had become much thinner and sharper, but it was definitely a familiar voice. The timbre, the way the ends of words rose, the peculiar pronunciation of the ‘t’s – it matched the voice that Lewellyn remembered.e6245f7669f15fff

It was Shavonne.8698ea5df6fed017

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He thought he would immediately shout “Shavonne!” and rush over to hug and kiss him the first time he saw him, but he couldn’t. Lewellyn couldn’t move from his spot. All he could do was blankly stare at Shavonne’s back.99ffbf044a2c5071

The sunset 4e637bd357 was stretching 108344a098 out longer 287aaf9692 now. It was 7786b5ff44 the sunset 25451ce48a of winter.bea0e9f1536c4e3b

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***1e59f47e42af0fac

Lewellyn sat 036543e5f7 on the 85428b63ba staircase of b4aeb8a0a7 the apartment 209344c42d building from 349ea465af 8 in 5945027e61 the morning 18d0b10dc9 until 9:30 37a8953fa9 at night, 38a499e54b waiting for 609374e9fb Shavonne to e52572b807 come out. He sat bb36cf3be2 on the 2fca2f389e steps above 95474b3ea2 and below, 3e3448282b but the b7f5ecbbf3 step where cbc9d34949 303 was 0caf983bd1 directly visible b548bffee9 was the 19ec8c6605 best spot.6d26685b62750dcc

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At 8 in the 022c05749b morning, the picnic basket 85720ea5fa Lewellyn had brought out 5054b8ca91 was piled high with fbe49db840 onions with their skins, 2133c7b21e and by 9:30 at 5c090674d5 night, they were all 891dde5bd1 neatly peeled, revealing their 599d676541 smooth white insides.fdd45f934e594166

It was the same that day. It was a snowy winter night at 9 o’clock. As usual, he was sitting on the stairwell peeling onions, when he heard the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs. Looking back, it was a young man, soaked from head to shoulder from walking in the snow without an umbrella.98e73651a1519cdc

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The young man quickly headed towards 303. “Shavonne. Are you in there? Shavonne!” he shouted, knocking loudly on the door. Lewellyn’s eyes narrowed coldly as he watched. Who is he? Who’s the person calling 65c5e9e0e1 Shavonne socasually²?3b391737be1a5379

Who is this, and 05963a9ce7 why is Shavonne opening 5f03309bc3 the door for him?5e4df6b58c7bcb03

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Thud. The 303 door opened. The young man’s back was blocking the view, so Lewellyn couldn’t see Shavonne’s face. All he could see was Shavonne’s right hand grasping the doorframe. That hand. It was much rougher and paler than Lewellyn remembered, calloused all over, but it was the same hand that had taught him how to hold a pen.b42d6a1d3d46fdf5

Lewellyn took a fa8679162a deep breath. His stilled heart slowly, e0a0cedbea very slowly, started beating ebc65d01b9 again. It was a faint 58c6f261c3 flutter.796dd65d64e8068f

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“What the. You look good to me, so why didn’t you call me?” The young man blurted out. “Don’t even try to make an excuse about being busy.b7eeb68af9a1708b

“Who is not busy? Do I look like I’m just being lazy?”37f87cdfe1092fc5

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“Why are you holding the door so hard? Is there someone inside?”dacd39a55fec28a2

The young man’s voice sounded as distant as a voice from a faraway world. The only thing that was clear was the sound from Shavonne. His breathing. The faint tapping of his fingertips on the doorframe, as if barely suppressing his irritation. And his voice.85deeffdac39751f

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“I didn’t contact you because you’d mess up my mental health like right now.”7279c49cf08ee7e4

“What?” The young ae701f21a1 man asked.3966b428b951c7df

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“Even if you think it’s an excuse, I’m busy, and I’m going to be busy. I’m afraid of you breaking inside like last summer, and I can’t bear you yelling at me like a baby or babbling that the house is a mess. That’s why the door is like this. I don’t want you to force me to have sex like last summer because then my condition will hit rock bottom. Ah, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s very, very annoying to be tied to you under the name of being your lover.”8372160650a8bf20

“Shavonne…” The young man 27459a4b00 said.2ad56123de8b41fc

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“What.”da1bf35741246bab

“What’s wrong with you? If you keep acting like this, I’ll think you want to break up with me.”9b45fbd2c350dbf1

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“That is exactly what I want.”fb9a58feac032228

“What?” The c41b7dccd6 young man 70b4fffdb2 asked.5ca6a6ddf91ea7a1

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“I’m serious.”aa6e51b39f5fc625

The young man’s face flushed red. He seemed to want to say something, but clamped his mouth shut and stepped back. His back was revealed, like a curtain being drawn.584cffa31e18629b

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Shavonne’s face came into his view.c2e3239a566158fd

It had changed. Compared to how Lewellyn b95acfbbb4 remembered him 8 years cadddba0ca ago, he was pale 24a2bdfe80 and thin, his eyes f792372ca6 shadowed with fatigue, his 569839e540 nose and tightly closed 1f0fd270e8 lips looked tense. His dark hair lacked de79628139 vitality, and his green 1597aaa2bc eyes had darkened.68e76dd8c3e32c1a

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But despite everything, 4b4ab70b12 it was Shavonne.5e7611564f72ae80

“…”92defd119b359000

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His heart was 348d1d02af pounding.041bb1d55d65a4ff

After the 00d2e17846 young man a117811852 left, Shavonne ef324b5878 was about 949504ecfa to go 54ab92eb5b back inside. Lewellyn, who had 73534f954c been unable to 20b7dec50a move and could 5ae0d30d9d only stare at bf85ed9550 Shavonne, finally snapped 6f0f651de9 out of it. The thought that 60a1b50664 he must not e2588e66d5 let Shavonne go 4b3f1b57e1 in, that he 2f1402c4ed absolutely must not a6a10a0e57 let Shavonne disappear 2b38333fe6 like this, suddenly 8c87225bff pierced his consciousness.e37f9e2e691e7f30

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His lips twitched. They opened 815068225d and closed b46ebd063c silently with 2997068779 shallow breaths 755c24036d escaping between 0c886cad14 them. His head 2d8a0f3bfc was dizzy 619f4b8e55 and his 57160a3cc7 stomach churned. It was b8cd4b1f81 a familiar c39692cba1 sensation. Like the time when 2657a2f7e6 he was only allowed 7cbbf5894e to whimper when he adcb436bbc was a dog, the db2ee23433 same tension would well a0a126873c up before attempting even 8a9804d146 the shortest or simplest b3e203d903 of words.cd4182b1102c3746

But he had to speak. Calmly, as if nothing was wrong, he had to speak like a real person. His mouth was trembling. The heart that had just been pounding was now thumping erratically. Reality was slipping away. Drifting thoughts swirled in his head. If he ate wolfsbane, he would suffocate, if he swallowed monkshood, he would die of respiratory failure, if he took digitalis, he would go blind, and if he saw Shavonne, his heart would explode. And then…601903912f4084ad

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Lewellyn opened his mouth.7335cf449295c669

“Your boyfriend?”19d252900e34fa96

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Shavonne’s feet stopped as he turned to go into the house.7796856c57e1f1aa

It was night. The muffled c8731db1ab sound of dd230140d5 falling snowflakes a5645ae6d8 could be d04cba4b31 seen drifting ef698ad2e4 across Ira 4e4c10cd0e Street beyond 1b72e1e86b the corridor. The howling of the 5b1aca95fc icy wind sounded distant, 81112d0fd4 like a sound from 535674254d far away.2891a7586be8b2f1

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Shavonne turned around. His world, his salvation, 66507db143 his god was looking 485b74626b at him. Lewellyn looked at d226a818ba Shavonne, who seemed 888fbd4499 to hesitate for dbe703a8f7 a moment, only 4bf5080cee to then straighten b126ec8b22 his head decisively, 11e69174a5 shrug his shoulders, 3ce0729efb and answer.f57ccf31cdb2e99f

“Until just now.”f8fbe13592d62c54

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And so the 715a3ea042 two met again.1118d12e2edfd30c

e961932dcf00f404

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