MLCD Chapter 3.1 || Psyche

If loneliness bbcf10019c is the c8ea7d1abc start of 33766a4821 love,733d83154afcadce

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What makes love 6a257bec47 end?bc85c06cffef0e14

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As the autumn wind blew, the fallen leaves cascaded from the massive sycamore tree standing in front of the apartment building. Unfortunately for Shavonne, who was walking down the street carrying a basket of onions to gift to “anybody”. The leaves seemed to have it out for him. They fell on his head, shoulders, and face, sticking to him as if they were determined to cling on.1510ad6aab5fdbce

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So unlucky.Shavonne grumbled 2064464805 to himself. He knew ff0ad75f24 that collecting 2439d94e73 fallen leaves c70421c8dc before the 18ca95369b first snowfall 7b0837fb75 was considered 34dc576a84 bad luck. He remembered ac2a5704db the myth 10551236cf the orphanage e17f107dd7 director used 94bffde2a7 to tell a49e4cfb8e him every 48211885c4 autumn. But those thoughts had 91ed18c4c8 faded away with time.ff50336a40744cb7

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He blew with his mouth to remove the leaves from his face, shook off his shoulders to free his clothes of the clinging leaves, and shook his head as hard as he could to drive out the fallen leaves that had been stuck in his hair. Whether he was covered in leaves or not before the frost didn’t matter; his 29 years had been filled with misfortunes, leaving him wondering what cursed him.96d4cd8cbdbdca5f

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Shavonne also brushed off the fallen leaves from the onion basket. One leaf, two leaves… As his fingertips touched the leaves, they crumbled as if they were dried out. Finally, he tried to get rid of the remaining leaves, but a gust of wind blew them away. Autumn rustled throughout the street.616797ae69e3ec88

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Less than a 3aecd2caf7 month had passed 4d5cc9dc04 since the end f343dcf315 of summer, yet a2e1e89ef9 autumn had unmistakably 5628583b57 arrived. In two weeks, frost 2c442be21d would appear, in four 1c8001d516 weeks, snow would fall, 91fb3d4642 and eight weeks later, df7f69a41a homeless people would freeze c374a96f13 to death on the 0d9a2209f0 side of the road. Bunch experienced 59f41a67c9 brief warm 0355383f97 days and 0bbe7d3e15 long, harsh 9db483c800 cold days.bffdcb5a982e7bb5

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After entering the apartment building, Shavonne checked the mailbox out of habit. The mailbox that had always been empty was now filled with letters after a long time. One, three, five… He lost count. However, Shavonne’s expression remained lukewarm. ‘Probably advertisements,’ he thought. ‘If not, it’s likely a wrong address.’fbbc49c2d96a7a7d

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And this wasn’t just a groundless assumption. Was it three or four years ago? Suddenly, Shavonne, who had never received any letters except advertisements, received dozens of them. It turned out to be the result of a false article published in a cheap gossip magazine called “Truths,” stating that a popular actor lived in Apartment 303.ee9e8e3b4ce5776f

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Carrying the mail 6e497cb8a8 half-heartedly, Shavonne headed 92132c63c6 home. As soon as 5ff5d4662a he entered, he 99687ec9b4 heard a familiar 082d2b2fc8 voice coming from 0b168d0dba the kitchen.af3c02c5e6b6b7af

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“Mr. Shavonne, you’re craving onion bagels today, right?”2046f813b73583c0

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It was Lewellyn. At some point, Lewellyn had made himself comfortable in Room 303, as if it were his own place, and Shavonne didn’t mind sharing the space as long as nothing unusual happened.e641265e420f2f87

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Shavonne, who 0645550ab4 put down 048dcfc821 the onion c01d700dfb basket, answered 0e4a43d0c1 while unbuttoning d2c754f4eb his coat.cf70408f6f387348

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“Not at all. I’m not on the mood for them today.”fa38279785fa64c2

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“No way. Even if you say that, I know that you want it. I can tell what Mr. Shavonne feels.”d1ba69842c52c71f

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“Have you ever really known what I’m thinking? You’re really something.”b32e151739c84eb0

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“Of course I know. Now Mr. Shavonne wants to give me a crushing hug, make out, and then have onion bagels cooked by me.”568adb06939ff8c9

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…It was clear that the onion bagel Shavonne had to eat ‘after a crushing hug and making out’ with Lewellyn was already made. The fact that he had to eat an onion bagel, whether he wanted it or not, remained unchanged.66eee0422b9985e0

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Shavonne let out a silent sigh. The dish Lewellyn cooked wasn’t to his taste because it always contained whole green onions, and the onion scent and taste were too strong. Shavonne offered to cook it himself, but Lewellyn didn’t eat it at all. Every morning, lunch, and evening, he hugged an armful of onions and went to the kitchen to make a dish with onions as the main ingredient.e2d9afce5e4fc8ba

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“Don’t make it.”c0ab47e5beeedab2

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He used to be 54361c4765 that angry.b6d6c69d32e8494b

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“Why? Is the food I cook awfully bad?”b710bae665e231ce

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Yes! Exactly!Shavonne, who was going to answer that, saw Lewellyn’s face darken and kept his mouth shut. When he opened his mouth again, he could only say with a murmuring voice.dbac6e6a1d5e3425

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“Mr. Lewellyn, that’s…”c94a32e10f4cd01e

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However, Lewellyn did 1eefe39243 not seem to 6e13905a25 be willing to b0993b723d wait until Shavonne aa44e49877 found an appropriate 830e918b07 explanation. He dropped his 65a295879c head helplessly and bafbec8f7e spoke as if b177e7dc3d he was holding e9cb77289f back his tears.e842edf9729e7dfe

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“I know. It’s my fault. I won’t bother you anymore.”2c7bd96fee494ff0

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Shavonne was shocked. He was too out of his mind to notice that it was really effective, and he was somehow not sane enough to realize that what Lewellyn had said was really familiar. The more he thought of Lewellyn’s face, the more unrealistically handsome it was and the more he got stuck in his mind.5da8fb0f1449bb9f

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It seemed to be 477931faaf true that you had 07e7cef79c to sacrifice something for 244dbb5995 it to be true 96a5470225 love. Taste. It must be taste 1ff4564e87 that Shavonne had to 016cc1fdb3 sacrifice. Shavonne hurriedly soothed b46be4ff83 Lewellyn.e686eec101e28532

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“I’ll eat it. I’ll eat it…”75b2a5510202e495

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Only then did Lewellyn 58aa98ce6d raise his head and f12080e593 look at Shavonne. He had a 3f4da004ca bright smile on 842371d26c his face as 6ad45acce2 if there was 9eba3fcd0b no sign of 5372395951 darkness from the 290a7cffec beginning.97e2f390dd5d3f4c

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“Good idea!”c8fd1b49047a7706

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For a 0f0f980446 moment, Shavonne a98253380b belatedly recalled 3319934136 that Lewellyn’s 098b014ac1 acting was 85bd754600 as good 71614ade50 as an 3573fcc881 actor. The famous actor Mr. Lewellyn said e88e0eeb93 with a 120d1c2cea big smile.5b29ca2495701f82

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“I knew it would work what Mrs. Banshee.”4e7390ca9277d4f8

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“Mrs. Banshee?”aa4b6078ed31518a

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It was a 30e06f31d2 familiar name.No way… Shavonne’s face was distorted.e2b767d47c75af8e

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“Yes, the main character from Adam Isle’s novel that Mr. Shavonne has ghostwritten.”a89a32f6c5e5d898

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“All right. It’s my fault.” It was only then that he could see why he was familiar with what he said, “I won’t bother you anymore.” Shavonne tried to laugh, but only both corners of his mouth were raised awkwardly, and he could not laugh. That fucking novel…Shavonne thought.33adb4cef9229cad

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In the end, the two agreed to limit Lewellyn’s cooking to less than five times a week, with Shavonne being fed precisely. One out of those five times was now.e37536bf9e6049dc

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“I’ll just check the letter first.”97103ee87d6be962

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“I can’t wait even a minute more.”7823f26845c32029

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“It won’t take long.”f206f98a6cbd5f0e

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“Mr. Shavonne, you should know that my patience is at rock bottom because we’ve been away from each other for three hours.”8c45b6b80eca1eda

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“Let’s see if it’s really at rock bottom or not.”74f45d8fd9cc2321

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He picked up the mail carelessly and quickly scanned the fifteen envelopes. Private horsemen’s associations, grocery stores, brothels… Not surprisingly, they were all advertisements. Should I think it’s fortunate that at least no letter was sent by mistake?Shavonne sighed.5ac8872f456d6d6f

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It was then. Shavonne, who 8d89f71884 was checking 49f1ecdbcf a letter 7ad6d575c9 envelope half-heartedly, 90c03d108b stood tall 9abccd750e and stopped 01a0c27450 his hand.dd78dd29ff7a30e6

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There was 082bdea80c a letter 27eccbaa7e from Krainer 78e045787b Publishing. Shavonne frowned. Krainer Publishing 234a35df14 was one 2cdcdb4f64 of the eecab1ab46 top ten a1ff3bbc01 publishers in f8e5592d04 the whole 6eeacdc91b Bunch.88ef8408b86daa32

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Right. It can’t help but be one of the strongest. The founder, Viscount Krainer, used all his connections with the royal family, nobles, and up-and-coming businessmen to sweep all the patronage of Bunch. Talented people follow where there is money. It would be strange if Krainer Publishing, which brings together only talented people in each field, does not succeed. But why would a publisher like that want Shavonne?8380b5d12c4da93a

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He opened it. The letter, which started with ‘To you whom I respect’ and ended with ‘Chongchong¹,’ was full of words. However, Shavonne, as if it were like his major, was very familiar with the format, as he would increase one sentence to ten paragraphs. Less than 10 seconds after opening the letter, Shavonne got to the point. It was simple.5a0083515347135d

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『 We would like a65cfb9511 to work with you. 』eacb4d506f6f612a

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Shavonne clicked his tongue fde2cf26ed out loud. If you want 1f7bac9395 to do a 35282c6821 scam, at least 6491847ad5 show some sincerity.6184f7f4f41660b0

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Krainer Publishing couldn’t have wanted to hire Shavonne. Exactly, they couldn’t hire a ghostwriter like him, who had no name and had a “good price-to-performance ratio.” If they were the real Krainer publisher, they would have hired a famous and talented ghostwriter at Bunch.b8e34fff2b25a3a5

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“I guess the ‘it won’t take long’ of Mr. Shavonne means a year?”920de28068e0a25e

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Lewellyn happened to be calling at that moment. Shavonne was deceived by a fraudulent letter. He crumpled it as the crunching sound echoed in his hand. “Your patience is weak. Severely,” Lewellyn teased. “You’ll be surprised to know how patient I am. Of course, I won’t tell you,” Shavonne replied playfully. “Yes, yes,” Lewellyn chuckled.211bf99c715f1d03

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Shavonne tossed the letter into the trash can before heading over to where Lewellyn was. “Don’t leave me alone for too long,” Lewellyn scolded him. “That’s mistreatment.”168f76c5beb7463f

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Shavonne halfheartedly accepted the comment, not wanting to get into a verbal confrontation. The promise they made to each other about “a crushing hug and make out” was fulfilled. However, they didn’t get to the point of eating the onion bagel as planned, as they both ended up going to bed. It was just another routine day, and before he knew it, Shavonne had completely forgotten about the letter.13083bb979cf3e01

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But a week later, when he found a letter in his mailbox from Turner, an editor at Krainer Publishing, Shavonne’s memory was reignited. He wondered if it was another fraudulent letter, but upon opening it, he discovered it was very similar to the previous one. However, this time the focus had changed somewhat.a8ef1c8762040505

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『I would 77bfd287c8 like to 84e86db2c6 work with a405f320b4 the author f80b5b15e1 who ghostwrote fb51bd2246 《The Life 7192504b37 of John b50d7ccc1f Gray》by John 44ba33b1b3 Gray and 7c28ebdda2 《Banshee’s portrait》 4ac177ccd3 by Adam f080bd0c7e Isle. 』a46544ccbed251cb

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Shavonne’s belief that there was no sincerity in the letter was proven wrong.2bc7859532939f52

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Even though Shavonne knew that Krainer Publishing wouldn’t hire him, he was momentarily confused by the sincerity of the letter, wondering if there was a possibility they could be interested in him. ‘Is it even possible that they know me…? It can’t be real, right?’574e428e19b0dbd4

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Lewellyn helped him 3249a3618b sort out his c697f7b788 thoughts.6bac004319e50017

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“You think it’s a scam, right?”34254d045bfd5461

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“There’s no way it isn’t.”2740658ea5dc2405

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“Why would such a wealthy publisher want to use me? Even if they did, I’m sure they have motives other than just work.”026b773b4f7f8d40

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“You’re right. Think about it. Why would they offer so much money just to work with you? There must be something else going on.”7720872ae571ed43

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“… Stop talking.”71167d8fa958a1a4

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However, three days later, when “Krainer Publishing Company” visited the apartment building, Shavonne had to reconsider his thoughts. This time, it wasn’t a letter; it was a real person.a85994d0b435b046

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A person.4e6547ec77d59469

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“I’m Turner from Krainer Publishing,” he introduced himself. “I’m a fan,” he said with a smile. “I really wanted to meet you.” He asked for a handshake.1b5131d8900cbe2c

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He was a 728977430a real person.108aec7a01d08e45

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Ninety-nine out of 100 e020954554 orphans raised in orphanages 871568ed9e are illiterate. This is 4d3f8e8ebb because unlike ae01937840 the monastery, 049c9fa28d where personality, 57bdc6f9a5 sociality, and 81e5ce8df2 knowledge are 93c1d506ee thoroughly taught dfff59ab8a so that da92fa5a73 orphans can a2e4e5dadf become workers 5fc6dd18b3 of the a5e632f7a9 monastery, the b5c1d25a77 orphanage provided d5cd4c4ce8 only food, 4ac44f6f54 clothing, and d63c0a3168 shelter and 68563e1467 provided no 8a66b6d71f education.3ffcbccabbe2ce25

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In such an environment, Shavonne was able to avoid being illiterate by one in 100 because he liked reading novels. He didn’t just like novels. He liked anything if it had a story. He enjoyed street plays, puppet shows, and playing alone in the attic of the orphanage, avoiding people’s eyes.23ac63a198bc03fe

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However, plays aa50587232 on the 9a2fff4dab streets have 49b1a99d05 not been 15281003f2 seen since 88be8aecd1 the ban 0980092a11 on performance b3cf38813d disturbance was f8bc37fc5d passed, and e18899a425 he couldn’t ab4472d7a3 do puppet 63c0727bfb shows since 90d251a136 the director fc934e5dfe closed the 464eb2e5a9 attic of 78c4b28a8f the orphanage. He had no ccd4a1ea7c choice but to bd832d602a read novels to c932600c61 satisfy his hunger 546c71a65b for stories. He had 801bb1fc8c no choice 177956f487 but to 3eb1059ec3 learn to 3658a44fdf read.78409b25ecc14c03

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― You want f6e8b996a3 to learn writing?37bd134ff3e2385d

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People laughed their 8cb30b7b81 noses out. Some grabbed 17c058b8fb their stomachs 9e68e5a09f and laughed 1a450a857e as if 8c856ee227 they had 44b6e6741f heard a ce16bbcfa7 joke.356d8cd7b3e70047

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― Wouldn’t it be better to learn etiquette? You have a handsome face and a flawless body. As long as you learn manners, I think you can get a job as a servant in a rich family.d4014538c992b942

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― Learn how to make alcohol at a brewery rather than learn to write. Writing can’t fill your stomach, but you can with alcohol.dc98401bcc669aa3

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― Why don’t you go to the auction house and learn the tricks? Dreams? Hey, you’ll starve to death if you follow your dreams.3432f46da4484df9

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How good 6d9959889d would it cf32e8c5bd have been c10d251bed if they 7caa37d236 had only 77763e0a32 stopped after 68a859ebbd a good 012aa6977b laugh. People laughed at Shavonne, e237ccdffb teased him, and cut 14c0073ffc him down, asking if 038b1bca56 he could learn to c8e6f9dbee write, and spat.17e038d0921eb5ec

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Shavonne didn’t give up. No, he couldn’t give up. He had a story to tell, the story of a child who grew up 15 years in an orphanage and defied the odds by not getting thrown out into the streets. He wanted to share the story of being adopted and finding a loving family. He wished to write about a boy who became a servant to a rich man and demanded to be respected as a human being, regardless of his looks, or someone who defied expectations and became a skilled potter in a brewery. He yearned to create characters who weren’t defined by stereotypes.6aa6efb4668ab1f0

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All the alphabets he knew were S, H, A, V, O, N, and E, but one day he wanted to write a story. A story that defied the odds and didn’t lead to a tragic end. A story that didn’t end with ridicule and mockery.aa24bf2bdabe5ade

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However, the reality was not so easy. If the initial problem was that there was no way to write before learning to write, it became that no publisher accepted Shavonne’s writing after he learned it. One, two… A mountain of rejected manuscripts had piled up.37fca91c9345b290

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On the tenth d9de2adb1d day of rejection 9675411121 of the manuscript, 421211c99a Shavonne stood by 1fa42cf2af the window and f6731d14cf looked blankly at f699797e1a the clear sky c866f05a19 and thought. What if he 857c86d381 had learned etiquette? He might have become 5e33763c57 a servant in a 2fcfa7e2c2 rich family by now.c00dd78ce2e77e26

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On the b9c99d66ee 11th day acf53623ac of rejection dddd9251e3 of the 5ffb026b6f manuscript, Shavonne 9b1c4901f7 stood by c1010808ff the window 1bed4331cf and thought 5bd9ad7937 blankly at 3191ee7327 the sunset. What if he had 9d03c994e6 learned how to make 0209544369 alcohol? He might have c1fb49446b owned a brewery 9bb313a2e7 by now.cb14cc3d3cb63704

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On the 12th f9d3e206f3 day of rejection 03119c552b of the manuscript, c4d92b2867 Shavonne stood by 91f77c1095 the window and 9d057c95ce looked blankly at 40e517213a the night. What if 4f041f50d8 he had 10fbdf81c8 learned the fddd9c4c9e tricks? He might have 5b273449d9 become a successful 1587581dc6 businessman, receiving 2,000 ee65fe7e1e dollars every time 1f4a9d4135 he made a 0045192ca7 deal.baec13c15bcec4d4

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But Shavonne was 5230272b56 Shavonne. Not a servant, not f40866356e a brewery owner, not 673930d303 a tycoon. He was just a 897849c222 man, living in poverty 84c0f9b6d0 in room 303 of c7918062e9 Ira Apartment House on 851dce49db Ira Street.ccc3c37da51aeec8

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So he gave up 29569d2568 on creating his own f02cce4d13 stories and devoted himself f6d566d255 to ghostwriting. He got paid if cecd087296 he wrote what he 1695e0b119 was told. It was a small 6f6f7a52b2 sum of money, but f546a84f09 it was enough to d9a852549e survive.58039c7d7d39848e

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“The Life of John Gray” was written by Shavonne, but John Gray was the author. “Banshee’s portrait” was also written by Shavonne, but Adam Isle was the author. Quotes, commas, periods, lines, words, and scenes were all out of Shavonne’s control, and he was not acknowledged as the author.111927804b66a36f

 02412bf1c7607e0c

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While looking down at the book, Shavonne gazed at the word “author” engraved on the cover with his fingertips. He wished it said Shavonne. If that happened, he might be able to like his own name for the first time in his life.030f4eaf4cc4e89e

 d9bd406493f36ae9

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Would the day come when Shavonne would become the “author”?d087b9812ab2662c

 d9b059ba2ac977cd

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He didn’t know. A young Shavonne at the age of less than 15 might have been sure about it, but now, at around 30 years old, he couldn’t be.abd64f14caece240

 0528427583cfda0f

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Dreams hurt people. If there was anything he had learned in life, it was that the less he expected, the less desperate he felt, and the less he dreamt, the less painful it was. Shavonne didn’t want to be hurt anymore.fad390178fed620e

 8670c7734438f5dd

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But…7e12eadf1cd5a9f0

 eb929169412a9ab4

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― This is Turner b9f9f90cca from Krainer Publishing.3f17113d13c547c6

 b9e4436cda2e4ee1

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― I’m a fan.a24b6de03a54d358

 e5890e398ff5193e

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― I 1cb85d01bc really wanted f56e64c373 to meet a5ad96ca29 you.cfbf76c1579d4d54

 e51c69f9609ad72f

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The “fan” who suddenly appeared in front of his eyes was shaking Shavonne’s resolve.0cc9a77691b67a8a

 0819a9e53e6a7ffa

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Shavonne was taken aback and didn’t know how to react. This “fan” appearing in front of him disrupted his certainty about the situation.8c860f38ca323668

 39aa2bf24b1361f8

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“It can’t be,” he muttered as he stood in front of room 303. “I can’t believe that someone who’s never been published could work with Krainer Publishing,” he said aloud.27b117eb54d3644c

 6d834785e4cf81f7

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Shavonne was right, and he stepped back without even realizing it. He couldn’t accept the idea that Krainer Publishing wanted to work with him as an author, not just a ghostwriter. It all felt like a cruel joke.5056ff4e28dbc6d9

 652d10be59dcbbb7

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If he said, ‘Okay, let’s work together’ and nodded he felt like everyone would laugh at him, punch him, spit and say ‘Did you really believe that?’. It felt like a dream.2bcb506ceb9d2baa

 70806a889ff67651

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Shavonne just.. opened the door. He had been napping with Lewellyn, and upon hearing the knocking, he woke up reluctantly. He didn’t expect to meet someone who fulfilled his long-held dream after opening the door and asking who it was.8e2fbaa4be806a1e

“You can do it.”90fb47a0782f06dd

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 bc52b8f31b604a02

“I can’t.” d66d24d3d5b3e7b6

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 28adc7d364248ecb

Shavonne wasn’t used to have good fortune at all. To him, having sudden luck was something that made him confused, not happy, so he was rather suspicious. Fear overshadowed any sense of happiness.a8bab128e16e718a

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 94a2000615ca2f5e

Stepping back, a sensation 3e67286aff brushed against his back f89a7eae5a – the door of a36c58b8a6 room 303.923c734a774ac6e7

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 aabed09aa2edc745

“How can you be sure you can’t do it?”6ec3d16cf6eb1f87

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 0618a0107afcd2f1

“How are you sure that I can do it?”18a73192607b1bcb

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 2153adbeea104fb5

His throat 6bffdc2eba was sore.55f36bc0e93af71e

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 b540873642a4c522

“What you read is what I wrote based on the publisher’s guidelines, not my preference. Go find John Gray and Adam Isle, not me…”dfd2384755597bff

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 308e26bd4753e09e

“No.”b81cea282962fcb3

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 598774718cd54436

Turner cut his words acf3ab8bf4 short. The eyes e12010ae53 that stared eb3fcd016f at Shavonne 89a038ec64 were cold.7eb81456e0c61035

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 f8650c2256d32840

“It’s got to be you, Mr. Shavonne.”bc964bb79ffe4940

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Shavonne looked at 51e1510d5e Turner skeptically but cf55cd2379 remained silent. A sigh 99c0c911d5 escaped Turner.8cb4559ecd7ffece

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 03e16c931cbc3a4b

“I can’t help it. It might not be the most pleasant news for you, but I must inform you.”db510a9cfde94c75

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An unpleasant story? So there was an explanation, as he thought. Just as Turner had indicated, it wasn’t shaping up to be “pleasant.”d79953b3f39bd3cb

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 9bf48f590ba2f52a

“I happened upon the three novels you submitted under your name to a publisher – all rejected. Yes, they haven’t been discarded. These manuscripts have been rotting in some editor’s drawer for at least three to seven years.”94e6cc47b40d50ad

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A furrow appeared on Shavonne’s forehead. Turner had knowledge of a manuscript known only to Shavonne, Dr. Fawkes, and the ten publishers who had received the submission. While Shavonne attempted to protest, Turner granted no opportunity.a26a4d750f2ba696

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 ce2c4fe0a7e70682

“I admit it was impolite, but I couldn’t resist reading it. I was engrossed from the first page and read through to the very end. My presence here should demonstrate how serious I am.”7737e2f3da0e63e9

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 f730141518fdd19e

Turner’s deep eyes turned to Shavonne..52aafa9918852a7b

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 678838c5b3d47205

“I’ve been an editor for eight years alone. I’ve never read a novel as good as yours in those eight whole years.”0cdf9ee9cd9ad702

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 7741c23150bf89d8

Shavonne blinked. It felt unfamiliar. He didn’t know how to react. Should I say, ‘Don’t lie?’ Or ‘thank you’?d4b13a74106977c1

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 6be26d69f1c9443d

Shavonne was less 2e8eecac24 familiar with praise 8a02ca908a than he was 9131ae15d9 with luck. When he did d7b7ef3045 proofreading, he was f8f4f32769 told,“It’s not bad, but you have no sense,”and when 8dc3d87f88 he completed 37aa1faa13 the ghostwriting, 7dbbeeadde he was 94f68e5957 told,“It’s old-fashioned. Not sophisticated at all.”2f5c8dac76bec7d8

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 c8d9c8e37a7892eb

It was 498fca8c10 not just a9d71f9b09 with writing. When he did chores 4fd687a3bc at the orphanage, he 96f070b392 cleaned but was scolded c5821c4660 for taking too much 9e0a29d2d2 time, and his efforts 366cb4bd16 to soothe whining toddlers 6ad8fc8ab6 were misconstrued as aggression. So it was e2cba1b32c natural that he ad218fd9c8 thought he was 6556e9fd04 lying. But…ec94fb576b496c15

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 fb801724409b2eac

“You’re exceptional.”9d652af558102914

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 e469df8375f639f7

Exceptional. That wasn’t a word that went well with Shavonne. Shavonne looked down at the floor. It was somehow burdensome to face someone who said Shavonne was exceptional..d7373934fa8663e4

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 5d7f31eb149091ee

“That…”68e75ec3d66b6bcf

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 f377f6b51f4cf08e

He hesitated 7c9ac17ca4 momentarily before 5f2d8f64be continuing. Suddenly, he heard 33649a4499 something breaking in 69cb9fcdfe the house. As if 9b7bfdd667 the sharp 59ff24b3e2 sound of f7cb35d851 something breaking 4acafb063d made him 618e3c651a go back 9c08507630 to Earth, e0026eb27d Shavonne came 9c430035b1 to his 7b2d87155d senses quickly.Is a plate 61e82edd3c broken? Or a glass?He didn’t 7675a6e04f feel the 7b47bd5050 unrealistic sense 524a00c5f6 that he e3e43f7730 was still 7560b3e91e dreaming anymore.df52e3a922482724

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 6a75a10548d8049a

“We’ll talk about it another time…”75512712ccd651cc

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 0218da7316f7e7d6

Turner grabbed Shavonne as he hurried into the house. It was unbelievable how hard he held him, as if he wasn’t an editor but a gangster. Turner took his business card out of the pocket inside the coat and handed it to him. When Shavonne didn’t take it, he forced it into Shavonne’s hand. 6fc46460fbc6b5e2

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 9d5617687f10147a

“Call me.”63a4fb25cb22b394

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 b846c14a783f912c

Even before f5ca882162 Shavonne could 4b92aa7b94 answer, he d12ea3bdb3 heard something 41c95fab74 breaking in c273276c5a the house. Shavonne hurried in.7906d4b12f51778b

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 91f38816377b8d77

Lewellyn, who 81ea23f620 had just d2a506e04a fallen asleep, 7f3d82af11 was not 40eecbc465 in bed. He was in the 15e683959c dining room connected to caf08920de the kitchen.7cfff366feee2202

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 6d78b5d6c36dffd3

It was so e1ec84d2e5 messy that there 68beb1c42b was no room 12f83f22fd to step on ec41381bd3 it. Tables, chairs, 6b6b88204b and trash eaea143318 cans had 505892669a fallen down, 9f3c619c71 and a f0a3b63e49 bowl broke cba110b5f4 and rolled 34cd908164 around the ce15ad76ec floor. The fragments ca75a991ed of the 716fd0d6fe bowl sparkled dde8d76903 finely under 917b5ce4ae the afternoon b60bba4d3b sunlight that 8a9a5d6346 deflected through 6699894d57 the window.c955f19e6a8be77e

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 568b8e2cf216f424

“God.”c347978c890f44ab

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 0c755bbb65c77efc

Shavonne sighed. Lewellyn looked back on Shavonne late, as if he had only noticed that Shavonne had come. “Oh,” he said in a short, hoarse voice. “I’m sorry,” he added. “It was a mistake.” A flat, dry voice. There was no emotion in it.69ef6c49538ea422

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 fe1d808fdee03fef

Shavonne felt a sense of difference. However, there was no time to know what was wrong. Shavonne saw something dripping from Lewellyn’s hand. It was blood. Shavonne’s eyes were wide open.dd4c54301241f9d5

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 746a3cddf26f6ff6

“What’s that?”666e61bdb73b7f14

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 07596efcdd2c16b4

Lewellyn looked 6f9765e32a down at b158de4e51 his hand. He answered right 2b08d66be5 away.2db01f2ff88ba489

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 70f46b83c1d6eaed

“Blood.”66d4284871a66f3e

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 751dde1c33174572

“No, I know it’s blood…”9810de60ef623082

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 0e218915f54d0257

Lewellyn didn’t like blood. Like what happened at the restaurant 《Golly》. Even when Alan, who was overpowered by Lewellyn, shed blood, Lewellyn seemed unhappy. He frowned and clicked his tongue as he piled napkins up on Alan’s face so that he wouldn’t see the blood he had shed.ad8c17ccdc059768

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 6d42212a2f718ec7

But now Lewellyn got braver. There was no expression on Lewellyn’s face, as he looked down at his bloody hand. ‘Don’t you have any thoughts on your own blood?’ A question came to Shavonne’s mind.75e1afeedc8eaad9

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 6a68b21d2d1e1b81

“Let me look.”9eb8c5e7723613bc

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He approached and checked his hand. The wound was on the palm of the hand. To be exact, ‘the wounds’. One, two, three… There were as many as five cuts. The blood didn’t stop, as if it had been cut deep. Shavonne clicked his tongue.9ddaf63f24f1716c

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 10c8cf21eb7eccd7

He picked up the cloth and pressed the wound gently. He wondered after he had been doing that for about three minutes if the blood would have stopped, but he was still bleeding. Shavonne pressed the wound again. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes… Lewellyn remained calm like a child.4d2e4411f4ad2017

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 d3db8e0fd6b4042f

The wounds stopped bleeding after 20 minutes. Shavonne brought a new cloth and wiped the blood off Lewellyn’s hand. Of how much blood he shed, he didn’t even wipe half of it, but the cloth was already wet.33be11eb7357c737

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 a1393bb762928fa1

“Didn’t it hurt?”22ec9ecc7af9840e

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 b81a30f8c5f60014

Suddenly, Shavonne asked. Lewellyn, looking down e3523f734f at the floor, 9ec79c6629 only looked up 0dd80af5ca at Shavonne. He kept glaring.28f24c899b24b73f

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 771de7cbd9bbcf1d

“It hurts.”c75f4262b35b4fb9

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 11ecee72d359069b

A pitchless, dry voice. Shavonne felt something was different. He stopped wiping the blood off Lewellyn’s hand and looked up at him. Lewellyn was still keeping his eyes on Shavonne.5a67f76f0cb95028

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 6c6a59176a50228d

“It still hurts.”0136bf3bed70e1d0

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 af29e8a234bbad36

Then he laughed a little. Before he knew it, Lewellyn’s eyes were back as usual.9d12f7d20ed5ced3

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 e07138a749e39230

***fa55c81f246aa65b

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 567b77c4366111fa

-That…e4f4f407299205df

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 ac51890d507804d8

Beyond the 8547dce2b7 door, Shavonne eefa46f7e2 hesitated and c1eb18a11c spoke. Lewellyn, who 8fc0072862 had been 7e4ca31bb7 listening to e52fd85dc8 every word 94fc4bac26 Shavonne and a6661a873c a man 3b84815118 exchanged, decided b15b6ae24d that he 7717d19992 would no 952d492928 longer stand f158c78872 by and d7d663b78e watch.0dd4f4f29bb5db5d

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 2e1fa95ff5218ffa

He kicked down the table and threw a bowl to pieces. He picked up a handful of scattered glass and clenched his fist with all his might. A sharp shard penetrated the palm of his hand. When he opened his hand, the flesh was torn into a mess, and his palms were covered with blood. Tsk. Lewellyn clicked his tongue. He hated blood, but he needed a distraction to completely take Shavonne’s attention from him.4ae7fb27dc84c4a8

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 78fb37ef2871651d

That man…00798edb3a73a4cd

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 401538f3a8425b0b

— It’s got to be you, Mr. Shavonne.c20f691e35228e47

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 1841a5068e68f450

— I happened upon the three novels you submitted under your name to a publisher – all rejected. Yes, they haven’t been discarded. These manuscripts have been rotting in some editor’s drawer for at least three to seven years.1c7efce75b0848fc

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 3f655963c9bd9711

— I admit it was impolite, but I couldn’t resist reading it. I was engrossed from the first page and read through to the very end. My presence here should demonstrate how serious I am.46bf49c1edb10ec0

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 0c0af1ccf3b6e044

— I’ve been an editor for eight years alone. I’ve never read a novel as good as yours in those eight years.5beb8ac72eae5da3

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 5ca56d24007c56ce

— You’re exceptional.05579b6bd6ab94ef

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 cb5801f0ee2baf54

Lewellyn didn’t know who he was, only that he called Shavonne Mr. Shavonne, read Shavonne’s three unpublished novels (that Lewellyn never even knew existed), and praised Shavonne and Shavonne’s novels as exceptional. It was obvious that he would hurt Shavonne.d3b4f892deee50e1

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 be670113ca384b45

‘I alone am cf263430ba enough to be 60d98dc286 the only harm fd1c2c1914 to Shavonne.’61c4c9931cd82ec0

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 7ad7fd2e8103ce0b

Lewellyn looked down at his hand. The wound was not as deep as he thought. It didn’t bleed that much. Lewellyn pressed the fragments on the palm to worsen it. Now it was better. Blood fell on the floor, and only then was he satisfied.7872ea8778486f67

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 91b39eb9052f8556

The problem 29c2eb8ef6 was what 448e4e7982 came next.60886be10078627c

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 1fc373103c25ccb7

“God.”eef00994adbed073

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 83984256b8394f44

He heard a sound 0fbd4cb09e made out of surprise 0f39f8d7d7 and then a sigh c412e7a4e5 at the doorway. It was Shavonne. Pretending that he 80154b669e had seen Shavonne f950db6029 just now, Lewellyn 886d415187 looked back at 85cc2b8d79 Shavonne.Why are you looking for a God? When I’m here. He tried to talk back as a joke, but he couldn’t. Before raising both corners of his mouth to smile, he saw it.37984594d6e78c56

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 4c919ef96d15ce27

Shavonne’s ears were red.0117dc42bd44a50f

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 70ea3708640b8c58

“…”ce80b068ab9c5eea

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 c87b3bab855515cc

Lewellyn couldn’t open his mouth. Shavonne’s ears rarely turned red. “Mr. Lewellyn, I like you.” The day he said that, it was the first time his ears turned red, and it hasn’t happened since then, even though Lewellyn tried doing things to see Shavonne’s ears turn red again.0178d18f3a4b7481

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 ad173c4ad8b1711d

When Shavonne just woke up, he’d said something to embarrass him (Mr. Shavonne, can’t you stop seducing me? I want to take a rest, too), and had sex. Talked about what Shavonne’s condition was like (What should I do, Mr. Shavonne? I guess you don’t want it to end this way). Remind him of what Shavonne, during sex, was like (Don’t you remember? You just cried under me. Didn’t you ask me to bite your throat?).b1191c6cb601ee6c

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 7ec58b62d6ec796c

However, Shavonne only turned e1c349c116 his eyes, scolded him 810c1f45d9 as he went to 56be2ce55b sleep, or talked about 85cc7621da the weather, meals, and b6da35dfc9 money, but his face e6926a8161 was not red. His ears never turned 297bd2ce02 red either, of course.b15e904e2cf73b78

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 aa7efaa7be8e26eb

But now?0f20bc7872f926e6

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 1027fbb1bb71527f

‘Mr. Lewellyn, I like you.’ was the first time Shavonne’s ears had become red, and it remained the only one since the day Shavonne said so. The fact that Shavonne’s ears were red because of “the man”, not because of Lewellyn, was too much for him.c1ed3c0be0454d44

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 196c845860b8fb13

Did he see you 269b7b4336 too? Did he d8a0636686 see your 6f7c46e528 ears burning 319622178f red because 9f27e76c55 of all 51b091b766 that sweet 86c5c3ddef talk? He saw it. Yes. He must have 16007587c8 seen it with 11e1475f2c his own eyes. I’m not happy. The fact that that man’s memory could not be extracted even if his two eyes were pulled out, and the fact that Shavonne, who had red ears, would still remain in his head made Lewellyn unhappy.f73a351025cf3af5

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 264da501fed60a17

Does he even know what it means to have Shavonne’s ears blush? He doesn’t know. How would that bastard know? Huh? I guess he was just thinking about how happy he was to receive a compliment. You idiot. He wouldn’t know that he saw inside Shavonne’s heart, something that he never showed, even when he sobbed while having sex.ee9ca17af6e82265

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 9f44551b67ae3c9e

It’s unfair. I didn’t know why luck only goes to people who don’t know its value. It shouldn’t have been him who saw that. It should have been me. Yes, it should have been me.212d2caf372d5bfa

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 73f8587828986c51

But, but…0ac7377ad21f537b

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 310bf17b1ba51fdc

It felt as if he had been hit. A heavy lump filled his neck with nausea. He wanted to break Shavonne’s ankles so that lucky moment wouldn’t go to someone who didn’t know its value.5ef0ef429d70b65d

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 4531b0a41b2db801

No, I can’t.Even if 64a507d55b he broke f96151074f them, his fadd20f4dd bones may 746400a588 stick together 3db316a132 again someday. He had ecf5ccb683 to cut e1ae8aa6af them off. Would a knife e4ce74d56e be good? Or saw? Neither a knife nor f4b2693610 a saw were bad, 00f53eab2e but the surest way 7a840a3716 was to crush them. Unlike cutting with 2a8b13f097 a knife or 4d2c41497d sawing, there was 2f77bccdcc no variable in 63770ceeae crushing. There was a43faad35d no such 6809fdc309 thing as 55cf49091a an emergency 97fecad185 situation to 6ecd36daa9 prepare for.a4052adf4ed9937b

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 df4c103a42d8f065

But Lewellyn couldn’t break, cut, or crush the ankles. He couldn’t even cling to him and tell him not to go. He couldn’t dare to do that.5967636258f67cc3

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 5ee508fcc36399fd

It wasn’t because of ethics. It wasn’t because of morality. It was because he lacked the courage to do it. It was just because he knew that if he put his low desire into practice, Shavonne would abandon Lewellyn.67fb7a266e30c29d

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 ab05f8e0c6032365

He wasn’t afraid to be hated. It was Lewellyn’s idea that if he could not be loved, he should be hated. Whether it was love, contempt, or hatred, he liked whatever Shavonne gave him.4f296b279c75a17b

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 818a23ef4ea02091

But not to cb32ae6241 be abandoned.ae24cd1df7e1827a

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 1898bb1dd86e8c9e

Lewellyn wanted never to 69712e253b be abandoned again, again, c16d5b76da again, again, again, again, 47e97ebca0 again, again, again, never 298eb8d656 again to be abandoned d81b2714d4 again.37481eb59c8c01f5

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 388ff4ab6100d917

“Ah.”0f74e50add5af5de

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 f6c00a1092063c3d

With a short, hoarse voice, Lewellyn said. Lewellyn’s voice was flat and dry to hide his overheated head.17dedcb17410df70

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 9b5f28927441da7f

“I’m sorry.”153544283e6cea95

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 9dc1d73cb5906afa

He added.b5c4fc2b083ed110

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 a7f2fd24dc1ab3f7

“It was a mistake.”7198a64915f9e4ff

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 82ad87a7c564d029

Lewellyn grabbed his d9dac503b8 hand briefly and fe48da3b85 let go. He dug into f064bda6d2 the palm with 180b39f2d3 his fingernails and 4d75c1adac covered the wound 5c41205edb that had already 0494dc543a been stabbed by 150653961a the fragments. Blood flowed down his 322fccbdb6 hand and onto the 5756a796bd floor.09583e4d4a959f7d

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 155d91a793a745f1

“What’s that?”e8f607b4dc95b305

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 805e527eeb3f30f1

Shavonne’s eyes were wide open. Blood was really helpful. In no time, on Shavonne’s face, instead of remembering the meeting with that man, there were only signs of concern about Lewellyn’s safety. It was a 309d0f609d wise choice to cddd44dd80 hurt myself, Lewellyn thought inwardly. He looked 5204a2cef3 down at 31b79b6d9a his hand 3d6f0b21a3 to answer.6ec54c56a3b4a4e0

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 b6f563b598b0163f

“Blood.”25122b91675bbeb3

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 d69b2d1aa18f592b

“No, I know it’s blood…”2a6676245435519d

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Shavonne came up and checked his hand. “Let me look.” He liked Shavonne lowering his head while looking at his bloody hand and clicking his tongue after seeing the five cuts.b2166fd43c87b060

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 ac68ce084ebf0bf2

Shavonne stopped the bleeding. He liked Shavonne’s touch of pressing the wound with a cloth. It was warm. His mind, which had been overheated, gradually cooled down. The desires that emerged at the surface of his consciousness also subsided.e404523abd0eb6e6

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 3f204d2466d40b6a

How long have we 73d0cd7aba been like this. “The bleeding should have stopped, right?” Shavonne took off the cloth. Shavonne’s hand, which was pressing Lewellyn’s wound, left. Lewellyn was determined to flinch. He was afraid it might have stopped bleeding already. A belated regret came to his mind that he should have covered it with more fragments or pressed his nails. Fortunately, however, the blood didn’t stop. Lewellyn gave a sigh of relief at the sense of blood flowing down his flesh.1c0ee293cdea9ebf

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 64195d81b87eea33

Five, ten, fifteen minutes… Lewellyn had to tremble with anxiety every time Shavonne checked whether it had stopped bleeding or not. He was afraid Shavonne’s touch that gently pressed the wound would leave, in case the blood had stopped.d9ab79a31390c818

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 8fee31df5737f16e

It stopped bleeding after b2b4a6d481 20 minutes.The blood has already stopped… What can I do about it? He felt bitter again. Thinking there might be no more blood, Lewellyn looked down at his hand. Thumb, black finger, middle finger, ring finger, and small finger caught his eyes. Small finger…Lewellyn’s eyes stopped on it. The thought that it might be okay to cut it quickly crossed his mind. Lewellyn was a fast-paced man. At the next moment, if Shavonne had not warned, “How did you make such a cut? You don’t even like seeing blood… Be careful.” Lewellyn must have put the idea of cutting off his small finger into practice.ff7ed11bbac282d5

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 b6bcd5d1167eebe3

“Didn’t it hurt?”5f8a52a4ce544a00

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 cf104f101489dbbe

Shavonne washed Lewellyn’s hands and asked. Lewellyn, looking down at the floor, raised his head and looked at Shavonne. Did I get 2c7d9e2d6b hurt?It was a 7f4204d16f strange question.Did I get hurt? Was I hurt? I’m not sure. It was something he c584c946bf had never thought about.68982bccbbba8aea

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 fd555b0d626bdeb8

“It hurt.”2be4dadd11ce4298

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 63d2a1d3aa210547

But he answered 29d39d7483 like that. If he said he 1dd04630e4 was hurt, Shavonne would 4105da6ed3 take care of Lewellyn. If he didn’t, 9efe0c05a1 Shavonne would take 91e93a9876 away all his 39152d5a50 attention, pity, and eac924e494 compassion.6eaafaf8b4a464fc

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 e869d612eb9db75e

“It still hurts.”18428866e5a7611a

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 5195de808d901697

As his 67ba502aec red ears 1f8fa4dc7f cooled down, bc902f6ea0 Shavonne looked ea2c27604a as usual. Lewellyn finally regained 0d63a4ba06 peace of mind.8ce4e546f694cb03

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 1a3c35e64670d3d5

“Oh, by the way, who was the person that stopped by earlier?”0b19b5bd840ec9ab

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 f72e41c692a5c567

It was a 6baf6c7241 question that had b09e8e3523 been hovering in 1e664acea3 his mouth all 1c3d8ac4fc the time, but 39e5bf57ed he pretended it 62581b7fcb had come up af354b244c by chance. Shavonne explained it b188d113ee without any doubt.d8746e396abbb5f2

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 452dd4f8cd21852d

“It was the editor of a publishing company. Remember that I told you recently that I kept getting scam letters under the guise of a publishing company? I guess it wasn’t a scam.”633fa6f0a1f7923c

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 9557d97c0e97e894

There was a faint sign of excitement on Shavonne’s face as he was speaking. Lewellyn chewed on his lips. Lewellyn wasn’t the reason he was all excited. There were different kinds of happiness an editor could give and happiness a lover could give.88c252c0a3ab430f

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 5ddd8b2ab4735783

‘If he were really f808724ec2 the editor of a 5960f6b9e2 publishing company…’0f444098c276d069

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 48bbd21ca14645d9

A thought 397385df45 flashed through f203d75239 his mind.b25f7a2f5f2899a4

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 31b6ff7f4b4a2fea

The judgment that he was harmful didn’t simply stem from jealousy. If anyone asked what the evidence was, Lewellyn would answer it as a hunch. A hunch. I mean, a hunch to recognize his own kind.0aafbd6b7f36f6d3

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 e1c97bced11f5649

The way he approached him was the same as the way Lewellyn used to. Digging into the opponent’s weakness. There was only one difference. Lewellyn sought Shavonne’s solitude, and he sought Shavonne’s desire.ab61a53afdbf02cb

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 07fad281d4ff8e81

– What you read is what I wrote based on the publisher’s guidelines, not my preference. Go find John Gray and Adam Isle, not me…7867adfb1111d165

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 f3c35deb73724988

So when dc39dd0ddf Shavonne said 8ff571be25 that, he 4fd253a2e2 replied.baee66f4af548a03

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 4b49a90a7fc10208

— It’s got to be you, Mr. Shavonne.38c250c7bc3318fb

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 dacf90a15d24ca74

Shavonne had always been hidden by others. John Gray and Adam Isle were the ‘others’. If you tell Shavonne that you are not a shadow, that you are not a person to be hidden… It would be quite effective.5679605019fe552a

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 0c19d0f62827fcb7

— I’ve been an editor for eight years alone. I’ve never read a novel as good as yours in those eight years.3363cc500e6e218b

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 414a968b714a18ba

Shavonne’s manuscript was repeatedly rejected. If you tell Shavonne, who must feel like shit because he thinks his manuscript is crappy, that you’ve never read a manuscript as good as his… Yeah, this works pretty good as well.c9cc3e34d17d9e29

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 83f07471f923a59a

— You’re exceptional.1592d7bcaf204ef5

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 a7437706fda5c555

If you tell someone who has never been called exceptional that he’s exceptional… This had a really high effect.81526859bbfa2eff

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 c9cefd4b48355977

Of course, Lewellyn may have been wrong. He could really be an editor, he could really be in love with Shavonne’s novel, and he could really think Shavonne was exceptional.6120e211a634ee08

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 29b9506f595d9e72

But what if he’s not?bb61360b537e0438

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What if he pretended to be the editor of a publishing company that fell in love with Shavonne’s novel and praised Shavonne as being exceptional?449d9fa5a75ffb9c

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 c95fccdaf8c79d1b

When he learned the truth, he couldn’t even guess how deeply Shavonne would be hurt. The higher you go, the more painful it is to fall. Your wings would be broken, your bones crushed, and your blood would burst like a waterfall. He couldn’t allow anyone to do that to him. That was why Lewellyn had to check his hunch.77bad25154ba391e

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 31aeeaea4fe62bbb

If he were for real, he would congratulate Shavonne. Of course, no matter how close the relationship between the two would be, he should also be careful that they don’t get too close.fd5e4bc2917c081e

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 10b6d2f7a4146e9d

But if he’s lying…aad3f87373774a27

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 2bc0af51f74c7a2e

“An editor?”727ea0038e2570ff

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 344c2d7422f1567e

Lewellyn pretended 1b359872ab to be c6697f259a interested.2259df78496c3380

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 44d7e6b369a1da43

“What kind of publisher is it?”1f4c9dbded53f6f4

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Lewellyn naturally asked the question so that it would not be seen that he was wary of him. But the following answer… was not good.f8ea4f2924756bc1

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 bdb326fe53a26237

“You wouldn’t know even if I told you.”dd302b088df525b5

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 4d72ceb324098d92

There were 866bc63ec8 two chances 33f6a080b3 left. If he 66896def6b dug more 3ad0b04c64 than that, e405372660 he would 31d4236359 figure it 24bdbdba8c out. Lewellyn said 220090e736 it with 9d930790cd a nonchalant df9897e249 attitude.c7c0b430df28375f

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 58f70b506764c7d3

“I might.”63c99376d01b4614

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Shavonne laughed. As expected, a bad 2d69f57178 answer followed.27f993e594122ad0

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 2a446552da170b58

“Huh, you mean someone like you who has never touched a book?”1c2842cbdb5abe57

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 4516347cf27bf84b

One last chance. Lewellyn frowned, pretending 23c322fd3f to have been 29edc5b69c hurt.bf9546f1c03e0c84

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 4e8a12fff553b533

“It upsets me if you look down on me too much. I love books.”1ddb1464e542d4d4

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 b1ab05a4cf3d3ef6

Shavonne laughed once a6e807ad66 again. As expected, a 2dd24c9ebf bad answer followed.b2092d9e05d91f50

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“Does a book lover write New Year as New Yeer?”f65e6aaadb4e1edc

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 1db2b4633a931c18

He was 587b76a346 convinced that 320ff8470b he would 2c1a4dab79 not be 71b628cba5 able to 225ead1a17 find out cbc7c1c948 who he 922c10fc9a was through 66626ba9bf conversation. Lewellyn gave up 05417a783b on the questioning. Even if he c13c9e1998 didn’t ask, there daf886a5a2 was a way e937de95d2 to find out 74558ef599 who the person f1656990f5 was.ccb1a9abad616ffb

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 531a597c8ff163fe

***218257caf0b81c76

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 54e9217c6b722033

“How can you say you want to have sex when your hands are like this?”adf12a4310f48f80

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“When did I have sex with my hand? It was with something else.”f800bc5fc5b8edcf

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“No… Anyway, what will you do if you can’t use your hands…”bf953cbe4cc714e3

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 adb9cc10642c72ce

“I’ll do it with your tongue instead. That’s a good thing, right? I remember Mr. Shavonne liking how I used my tongue more than my hands.”833ea93f64dc99a0

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 c6eeef35817c9605

Sex was rough that night. Usually, Lewellyn used to be considerate during sex because of Shavonne’s pace, as all the exercise he did was sex, walking, and going to the store, but today he wasn’t.b5c4538a18de8cda

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 0339755adbadd93d

“Five minutes… just five minutes off.”89f77a8b7b518be9

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 766ec8883993c8d8

They were in a dark room without a single light. In the darkness, Shavonne gasped. The sweat flowing down Shavonne’s cheek shone faintly and then disappeared. Lewellyn laughed.6b3784d72f3ff3af

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 39a17251661e59d8

“I must have been in heat, as Shavonne said. I can’t stay still for five seconds, let alone five minutes.”67533f9f08c16b44

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 06ce20b34c554017

Then Shavonne spoke d5576d648d quickly.d7675896eebb29ba

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 b57f6a5b43c0e3b1

“Slowly… do it slowly.”8119fde2e638fe5f

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 6ccb9fa64f06a0a4

“I’m already doing it slowly.”828f4ac43ebb7d18

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“I-I’m… at the bottom… of… of my energy.”a1c605a7d631d4eb

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 3ba317d8fb7177ce

“My weak Mr. Shavonne, don’t you think you need to improve your physical strength? Mn? Am I wrong?”628b28681b068863

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 0165f02611adc9d4

Then he bit, aa039ce9ad sucked and licked.6727d13bf630d40f

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 6da6c78163e00ca7

Shavonne was out of energy when the sex was over. He couldn’t even lift a fingertip and just lay around. Even when Lewellyn called him, he didn’t even open his eyes nor answered. He fell asleep as soon as he was done having sex. Lewellyn smiled faintly. Just as he expected. And, just as he intended.cb59c1cfee613893

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 80eaf00090746a4f

He lay in bed side by side with Shavonne. With his chin on the pillowcase, he looked down at Shavonne. Shavonne’s face was dimly visible in the dark. Closed eyes, nose, closed lips… White forehead with messy black hair. He thought of sweeping his hair, but didn’t. Lewellyn’s hands were cold enough to wake up a sleeping person just by touching them. Like a corpse, or a hand colder than a corpse. That’s how people used to call it.4be3887d6e57a805

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 4f1d1699469a0529

Looking into his lover’s face was never boring. Ten, twenty, thirty minutes… Looking at him for an hour, the sound of rain began to come from a distance. It was a drizzle that soaked the night697e6a6fce910148

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.9cac034609178806

He rose from bed without making a sound. He was careful with his footsteps across the house and lit the candles carefully so that Shavonne wouldn’t hear the rattling sound of candlesticks. It was a small flame, but it did its work.b5ad58158cc69208

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 f0ccfd45bb1c4a63

He searched the trash can for a letter from the publisher. Letters from private horsemen’s associations, letters from grocery stores, letters from brothels… There was a rustling sound and it soon permeated into silence and disappeared.71c1151c8f83f304

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 8ec34e1f72bfa612

It didn’t take a long time to find the card of the publisher. The paper was crumpled in a mess. Lewellyn recalled Shavonne, who was crumpling the paper and throwing it away, saying, “There’s another scam letter.”d94823c623ad0c6f

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 d148a42534c5ab6d

He tried to spread the paper, but there was a loud rustling sound. His body became stiff. Fortunately, Shavonne didn’t wake up when he quickly looked at the corner. He seemed to have fallen asleep so hard that he thought that he had been too rough during sex.169a4a03f45c087f

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 7780bd4f5b98e5e8

Lewellyn grabbed the 630a1ed0eb piece of paper. He quietly 1e28175892 left the c417e879c0 house, putting 0f7ad041fb his heart c28b6c4709 and soul 51b75c17e6 into making 6af1c8f3ba sure that 1fec36d550 there was 8200419a4d no sound 6ab3d845bf of extinguishing d61eddfa3d candles, footsteps, 7d5a815a4a or closing 8f99528f5c doors. He left fea8485a90 the apartment 6b0f731b6b house and 4317decb22 stood under d7da6521bf the eaves. The dull lights of 868b382ed7 gas lamps installed at a7b3ab2d3a the eaves of apartment 35f15e397c houses lit up Lewellyn.3aa88a3f96e3965b

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 575fdb5e3a98df82

It was 56ccb8bbdc night and 79ce6e7ac8 it was df41f9dba9 raining quietly. Grass, trees, 8898467084 and fallen 011c2b1a43 leaves on b0c62d919a the side 64b2f54381 of the 87d1c3aaeb road, which 04b2a7967b he could 0c11406943 only see 43f6135da2 its black dee7d20510 outlines, were f864828c1e soaked.db46d4ae72759a1d

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 0710ebcba5e6291c

Lewellyn spread e32870977e the piece 09084d83dd of paper. No matter how 1cea3c0d8b messy it was, 38263a264c it had to 08370bd4c1 be unfolded carefully. There was 3a0b259aeb a rustling 8c6904199e sound, but 3c47efcb8d it was 775bee5390 faded by 03eaaf3f44 the sound bda4413ffd of rain.744c30a9b449b653

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 7d46752702ecea2f

The card was filled with words. Not only the card but also the letters were wrinkled, making the words “Dear sir” look wrong. If he read it, he would find out which editor of which publisher sent it. It was the moment he was about to read the next paragraph.7867a7bbceca9f1a

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 9948a494d426224b

“Mr. Lewellyn?”dbea103065814feb

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The hand holding the 041563206a piece of paper stopped.10f4fb33b61e0239

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“What are you doing there?”f0335aafb49ee085

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 35ecf3cebfbe0acf

He heard a b42e0c26be familiar voice from 2ab04a4eb3 behind his back. It was Shavonne.4ef49babee8acd48

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