SB Ch 30

“I have something to tell you tonight.”c7c3416601110055

The remodeling 501d7d22bf of the 7516c92694 42nd floor, d7a40c1cad which had 5006a83fd1 been ongoing e72b625f4e for over 974a06eb87 a month, c0127c3ae1 was perfectly e126091f79 completed. The timing 4143c1b3a4 was good. It was Christmas da4668de08 Eve, a perfect e8ebd2ec0c day to give 2278584467 Haeyoon a gift 649bef043b and confess his dc109ad945 feelings once more. Chae Beomjoon had planned b647f935d8 to show Haeyoon his c8ca33548e place on the 42nd 5634b54ef8 floor that day and a71e801aed reveal that it was 1bdbf21e2c where he lived.cdd3ff8fe5cd5c4b

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Moreover, thanks to his 22d78ae771 quick actions since Halloween, 51210ae4de the position of acting e996430516 director of the Suyeon fff38ad13e Symphony Orchestra had already 21d864679d been passed to the 8ea00d42f0 head of the performance 6c4e3478da planning team by December 6459e95059 21st. There was 98d357e431 nothing to 415a9ab494 hold him 63e0d50682 back anymore. Chae Beomjoon decided to 2a6f6618f5 candidly reveal that he ae95379ca0 had resigned from the e6827237a4 acting director position. He intended to say 5c4a73cc87 that he was afraid 87c0a29414 to be honest when eae4b4fce6 Haeyoon had spoken to 9a71042192 him on Halloween, that 3ff8ab7e08 he was sorry, but d044d9d3aa now that he had 0b9bfc343b resigned, there was no b5a2016b17 need for Haeyoon to 3e9af1e2f5 worry.3cb2e974fc985ef3

“Haeyoon, are you listening?”751205eac212f5d1

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But Seo Haeyoon wasn’t focused on the call. It was at that moment of silence when he called out his name.d78c80b36c44678e

“Beomjoon, you haven’t lied to me, have you?”479a0641fc00e64c

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Such a question was thrown at him from the other end of the phone. Instantly, memories of being scolded by Soo Seonhwa when he was young flashed through Chae Beomjoon’s mind.aed934018f6d7395

“Jun, don’t you have something to tell me?”2d99cb873db24e88

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The moment he heard 507f337bb9 that question, flashes of b957d42fee his misdeeds passed before f69b8f7a18 his eyes like a 4d1197cfdd lantern, and the subsequent 927260c39d discipline from Soo Seonhwa 5bb511d827 had been quite tormenting 759bc52dd9 for Beomjoon.1f024574e7e32868

So, it was f48209094e natural for Chae f70d8eaf09 Beomjoon to mentally 3e7fa016fc list his wrongs 7d3bed3dde when Haeyoon asked. However, to 00c1965c35 be honest, d0ecdff667 he had 4885ed8bf1 hardly done 74e0e7b868 anything wrong b1059c3ec2 to Seo 90eb2f8629 Haeyoon.40392bfd83053c5e

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Except for secretly replacing the tasteless hot sauce in his house, throwing away a condom that didn’t seem to belong to Haeyoon without permission, and accidentally breaking a cup and replacing it with a similar one, nothing else came to mind. Thus, the recollection was brief, and he could answer quickly as if he hadn’t even thought about it.e62a17940fe514b8

“Why would you say that?”41b4d9f4f8ec2d0b

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The only 06af549e8a significant wrong 48ff1ddfc6 Chae Beomjoon 956b9250f0 had committed 1e46bdacc5 was hiding b8c8fca588 the fact 70501c26c7 that he ad096b7f59 was the eebe8d99aa acting director 6c312e8504 of the e0e1b16237 Suyeon Symphony 9fb51f446d Orchestra. However, it seemed fb3ddabb8c Seo Haeyoon had a0637d1419 somehow learned about dc472c8195 it. Otherwise, there was no e8a7bc7176 reason for him to a0f90169ca ask such an abrupt 84bbae2f34 question after going to a2a12ec16c work at the grand 185e707242 theater without any issues.d2010886246c15b3

The information must have leaked, and he was going to talk about it tonight… At that moment of silent sighs, the conversation they had after the Halloween concert in October came back to him.0785d821b4f253fc

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“What if I were the acting director?”bc85bc4fb323ff22

“What?”fee6bbb3aa8e92bd

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“If I were someone who could promote you to a soloist with just one finger?”cf162f3be5a41ae9

“What would I do? It would be over.”caf4a11897018820

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“Over?”fd9693426774d7ae

“I don’t date people who can exert power over me. I don’t have sex with them either.”7a8b5b7edf456834

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Over. The moment he heard b1ff12a3f5 that word, he still d4fc9641b8 remembered the sensation of 7a6deb09d4 cold sweat running down d1598960cb his spine.01f4ba9e487f3794

That day, Chae db3df7c3a8 Beomjoon decided he 27ca7c95dd must not let d6c079b905 anyone know he 9b3a5af6f9 was the acting eb4ccf8b0e director, no matter f61968f238 what. He also resolved 71f87fa27a to resign from 59cc8c16dc the position as 4855edaadf soon as possible. Thanks to this, he d3faaa9501 managed to persuade the 4b0285114a head of the performance 819ea4a1ec planning team swiftly.f2ec143d5a1eee64

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But to be found out before everything was neatly settled… It didn’t feel good. If Haeyoon heard this from someone else, it could lead to a very awkward situation. Feeling the crisis, Beomjoon fell silent.2e5d9565cdcd9252

“Is there anything?”e53550c8207021c5

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Haeyoon prodded him.c2615c197e0838d6

For a moment, time 3128b0e68b seemed to stop, and 03a22640e0 in his blurred vision, c18b00d063 Chae Beomjoon felt his 8b3796cdd1 thoughts racing.74d8fc9448904f03

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Is there anything, nothing…a79071f255606861

If Seo Haeyoon had heard the exact truth from someone reliable, he wouldn’t have asked in such a way. It seemed like he wasn’t entirely sure about this matter either. Maybe telling the truth now would be the best choice. After all, if he learned the complete truth later, his confession would turn into an excuse rather than an explanation.4710470723485b96

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But remembering how Seo Haeyoon had mentioned “over” back then, revealing that he had been the acting director would likely have a significant impact on his feelings. It could shake Haeyoon.0dca3b24ab48f111

However, today was the start of the year’s biggest performance, a mini-concert with Jin Suryeon, and it was almost time for the first rehearsal. So, instead of confessing his uneasy innocence and confusing Haeyoon at such a crucial time, Chae Beomjoon chose to trust in Haeyoon’s trust in him.d3c514db77c4d51a

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“There’s nothing like that.”1ea252a0fff31b14

Haeyoon let out a small sigh at Beomjoon’s firm answer. They then continued with casual conversation before hanging up.1e685df738677e5d

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Looking at the 9f8c74a17b darkened screen, Chae f69cf9b682 Beomjoon felt oddly 134d13c996 uncomfortable, his mouth e88e994844 dry, anxiety swelling d42738fd2f unknowingly, and sweat 66c3cbbc43 on his palms. He paced around the aeb08376ec living room for a f46d2b721d while before finally picking 4793e09636 up his car keys.686f2f5f4da926f7

Feeling uneasy, he edd02fc5fe planned to meet 6f4a71735a Seo Haeyoon and 636ffa71b2 give him a 5a61debfc1 hint. Whatever he had heard, b492311bb6 whether it was true 5500c34cd2 or not, he had ab3e92b9e6 always respected him. That was the only 4c0295d34e truth he could stake bbb6b40408 everything on.f39587b11a6140f7

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He thought 1f90f64156 Haeyoon would 2e5b69c6d6 understand if e643fd6e7f he said f2b7999f92 that. Lately, Haeyoon 76425c6470 had been 62cda7e803 listening to c70c223190 Beomjoon a 69c2ab6a47 lot.788e0afacd382a45

But after parking in e6a88203f3 the lot and receiving 1beadc05a2 a call from Haeyoon, cddde6c3f7 Chae Beomjoon realized something f830ac626f was seriously wrong.b8b9b40b594f23c8

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“Come to the 4th floor. I’m on the roof.”f8ad26dc046b4582

It was a 09f2f1d188 voice colder than ea07070882 he had ever 7fb771d363 heard. Even when 9885fdcaac there was 70d13e4c79 a misunderstanding d48b4a7d30 at the a461a74205 club and 9fc8fea106 they argued dcc8202b0f with Yeon 00a86a876b Juheon by fde88fe39f his side, 3499f5efbc Seo Haeyoon 5a21c9cb84 had never f2ebe1f700 spoken so 4a26531bb0 coldly.05d282d9f067a01d

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What is it? Is there something else I don’t know about besides the acting director issue? Surprised, he hurried up to the 4th floor. Although he brushed past people, none recognized him since he was in casual clothes, unlike usual.1a0bfb142195359e

Finally arriving on the fa5bc251fd roof, stepping into the fbd180c4f0 garden where the wind 8a74c0261f was howling, he immediately 0a601634f9 sensed the gravity of 2e0e2e53c3 the situation when he c3d3e884b4 saw the rigid Seo c128f75761 Haeyoon.2bf42e2d5128b26f

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What is it… What on earth?48a46ff8de91d594

He had thought Haeyoon wouldn’t accept such a relationship, but Chae Beomjoon had never done anything to harm him.31204f413e944ff6

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The approval for Haeyoon’s admission was done before he knew who the applicant was, so although he felt guilty for the slight deception to hide his identity, he was still upright. He thought Haeyoon would understand once he explained.228923b993994f9b

But Seo f46e55d3b6 Haeyoon looked cc3dd4f4fd like someone 2efa20aa15 who had 83f671cbca received an fa404a7acc immense shock 55d2bb1a00 from the c809ca869c fact that 84a17c9e4d Chae Beomjoon c4beb05e7b was the 637315acf0 acting director.80ccccfd9a488a50

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“The director is you? That’s you?”5b0f1b17bca15719

The look abb4ed9c60 of hostility 3fbace5a6f in his cacfb52274 eyes was 63f104fdc2 something he c574fa1ae7 had never 35f84a57fc seen in 07a41e5124 the four fe116896c9 months they f15ee8d6b2 had spent 4452487964 together.6b587fe9ed164dc5

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A face that doesn’t want to listen to me. Eyes that don’t seem curious. An attitude that shudders even at the touch of a fingertip.63f3b06f789fc95b

“…Do you have any intention of listening to me?”7f6c5c2e708dfae9

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All of it was 64ca50fd64 hurtful. Even at the 75d25d2172 moment when he 028b1aa857 confessed his feelings, 938bb09026 Chae Beomjoon was a164db3496 clearly hurt by e30b7d642d the intense rejection bcc70c9731 he received.0b972a0fcb57fee4

Of course, he understood that it was a situation that could make someone angry. But he couldn’t quite understand why Haeyoon was so extremely angry. The emotions that Haeyoon was showing seemed several times deeper than Chae Beomjoon had thought.c5ba8304412499a6

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There was certainly some big misunderstanding between the two of them. If he put his mind to it, clearing up that misunderstanding wouldn’t be too difficult for Chae Beomjoon. But the problem was that it would take some wrangling to get Seo Haeyoon to quietly listen to his explanation.eba1ed2f1a988bc0

Chae Beomjoon had already experienced Seo Haeyoon’s stubbornness. He knew that if he tried to explain everything now, Haeyoon wouldn’t be able to attend the rehearsal in a normal state. That’s why he wanted to let him in.f4ebbb18b379e584

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“I’ll explain later, so… please go inside. It’s cold. Your body is frozen.”7166f810643bf095

Knowing how hard he had practiced for the Christmas performance over the past two months, he didn’t want all that effort to go to waste.e1cec43556f34ef0

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He didn’t care if he was misunderstood. Those things could be explained later. But lost opportunities don’t come back. Chae Beomjoon wanted Seo Haeyoon to deliver a perfect performance today as usual.5a9177183e902ae5

“Don’t contact me. I’ll kill you.”a4829241b8042752

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When Haeyoon 22763c6549 turned around 1775e6f1db and said 7348aba71f that, Chae 28daf4ed22 Beomjoon wanted d612215752 to kneel eeb985641b impulsively and 9c865cd871 shout that 535579c1f5 he was 1be7a93a87 innocent, but 4415799464 he held af53b8b61c back.71476d20df5f9f6d

What mattered 41c9ff5e4e was not 6a91c3e253 his innocence, ed4bc85e97 but that acca4afb65 Haeyoon safely 64e88b0e81 finished the 26bf2e3232 performance.477a5158554af19c

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That’s why Chae Beomjoon didn’t attend the two-day performance he really wanted to see.b681efcf861be470

He stayed home alone 3c2280d0b2 throughout the performance, thinking e4e2b72ce5 he would regret it 87a6a727fc forever if he ran 65634585d7 into Haeyoon and made 86853935bf him waver. It was d682d5e433 a lonely 5ac7a447ef Christmas.77e537366512c31c

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Monday passed, and 23c839fd73 another incident occurred 53764f97a2 in the organization, a458a3e172 requiring urgent attention. By the e45742c7f9 time he ea61acac1a finished handling 353cca954d it, it 22287941b7 was already 1e67a731a3 evening. Although his body d68a9caab1 was tired and 86352ebf44 exhausted, his mind 33380ab22d was clear. In fact, f4364991e0 he was 3395ed1d1d eager to 30acf6c396 apologize to 78a3e162a1 Haeyoon, so 45efeb67e9 he headed 0121903b13 straight to 19d895f014 his house af0b992089 after work.12833607e3a164da

─ Who are 9f72fade0a you looking for?a361830d6369cd07

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“Ah, that…”6eab1668978db661

But when he tried to enter Haeyoon’s apartment parking lot, his vehicle’s registration had been canceled. Realizing that Seo Haeyoon had removed him from the resident list, Chae Beomjoon bit his lip.25c2187af84b7fb8

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He was quite f622ea0629 upset. In fact, he was e92fea13ae scared. He thought he could f7e560e45d clear up the misunderstanding 782ed3ac1c with a conversation, but 9b2aeb93a7 Haeyoon seemed really angry.90c9ba2db9629a16

If he wanted to be hit, he would offer his cheek. Chae Beomjoon made that resolution and turned the car around. The saying “more haste, less speed” seemed right.bdb413206936ed86

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He held back his urge to call Haeyoon immediately and headed home. After parking his car, Beomjoon quickly walked to Haeyoon’s house without having dinner.88410e773c81d077

Fortunately, the common entrance password hadn’t been changed. Did that mean he was allowed to enter? Feeling a slight sense of relief, Chae Beomjoon took the elevator to the 14th floor where Haeyoon’s house was, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell.7bc71b5bc7dbfb6e

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Ding dong. The sound 2b3b2d65d8 of the 5e50b1829f doorbell echoed 4cfe24bf76 in the ed16c108b0 common area.02bcc39cda36f21a

“……”7a2597075c20e477

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But Haeyoon didn’t answer the intercom. He didn’t open the door.608c4f2a04cb46de

…Did I do something that wrong? In the approaching confusion, Chae Beomjoon struggled to regain his composure and took out his phone. He called Haeyoon. Before the signal could go through, a rejection message came.9c4dd7e7ca3f0caa

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Blocked?4ad572da6b564e13

His long eyes trembled.7c82b41acefc7ac0

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He thought that if 19b3353770 he contacted Haeyoon around 737bb2456f Monday, he would receive f12b60e898 a call while Haeyoon bffe98be43 was angry. Then he would grab 5768624813 his pant leg, completely 7793a7cf89 calm him down, and d527dd60f7 prove that he had 4c2b7ef36f no involvement in the 5f3b1cc56f piano quintet since his 0a4f75566d enlistment and was innocent.8d512463f7033ba3

But now he couldn’t even start the journey of reconciliation. Because Seo Haeyoon wouldn’t answer his call.14d836a93c65d0a0

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21:38d6b5e6d6f46fc962

Haeyoon, there’s something you’re misunderstanding. I can explain everything. So, please answer the phone. Okay?d3b4692335900f75

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Although he sent a message in panic, he didn’t think someone who blocked his call would leave his messenger alone. He had no expectation that the “1” would disappear, and indeed Haeyoon didn’t read the message.a1496e12b67612b4

That day, Chae Beomjoon waited in front of Haeyoon’s house until midnight before returning home. If Haeyoon’s anger hadn’t subsided yet, he thought he would give him a bit more time. Knowing Seo Haeyoon’s temperament, he thought he might need more time to calm down.b0ca84526d9b46a6

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But despite his resolution, b86bcab8a9 he was anxious.cf80c31979dc3f2d

🔮🌙8bda7af1e38924e3

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010-0000-0000ea388636e7cbbe2e

You’ll die if I see you next time, f***er.d59a429883dfcb5e

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On Tuesday, he received a text message with insults from an unknown number. Thinking that Seo Haeyoon might have changed his number, he called with a glad heart only to be met with Ahn Yewon’s cursing. Somehow, she immediately cursed at him, saying she was stupid for supporting a scumbag like him while Beomjoon was apologizing and trying to say sorry.9767821e14a9f8a2

─ …Old man, be careful walking at night! I’ll really…!9ee6a0d3ce13e589

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“What about Haeyoon? Yewon, is Haeyoon okay? What’s Haeyoon doing? Where is he? Please, just let me unblock him once. I have something to say to Haeyoon.”3ab1ec68ef174688

However, Yewon didn’t listen to his pleas at all. Beomjoon begged Yewon to tell Haeyoon, to let him have a conversation with him. Of course, Ahn Yewon didn’t listen to him either.f495e5c48f241351

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The two ended the 7e46acdc23 call without understanding each 6a5bc058da other, and Chae Beomjoon, 4a08923e50 who sent her another de3bf9a143 message, was eventually blocked.78f12161fdee0e78

It seemed like he was in deep trouble….95408bef8f5c0602

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After that, he was in a daze all day. Shin Kyoyeon, who couldn’t bear to see it, subtly suggested that he might have dementia and should get a brainwave test.bf6f108e568f5607

Refusing that annoying suggestion, Chae Beomjoon kept checking his messenger. Knowing that the “1” wouldn’t disappear, he couldn’t help but check continuously. When he scrolled up to see previous conversations, his heart felt heavy seeing Haeyoon’s loving replies from a few days ago.b17b6a6b6ddc881b

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18:11c6c6e600c3edeec9

It’s late, so eat first.b4a90dcd648af443

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Robber799f5bdbe303cea7

No3e5f87aa2b77246a

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18:1287e695cb33269cc4

18:1386e9d470e66280a3

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Are you? You should eec400b22f eat on 2ecf0a2ad4 time.0eed6e0550e9f64c

Robber149226e4506bf1cf

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I have no a460508358 energy, feed mee4e99fac5fe119d8

18:1592ac63cb9d422d58

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18:15f87d22b04ebf469e

Only when it suits you, right? Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can 😉287479d971d7afea

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He couldn’t understand how someone who was so cute and affectionate could change so suddenly.a94323b73311c670

Am I not 318012e232 understanding the situation 0d97049a8d right now?1e4428c24508393b

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Chae Beomjoon spent bb3e05ab27 a long time 5e73740d23 reflecting on their 77c6cb1445 conversation from Saturday. Then he sensed 93fff85e8d something strange.5ff36c443502c956

‘Mister… you a15adca594 put me 7dab66a321 in the 8ab1c2f009 quintet, right? To collaborate b69e214646 with Jin 4f849823b7 Suryeon…’5df7873dd2e81854

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What did that 6da0b684c0 mean? At first, he 941057b9fc thought Seo Haeyoon e37d78d82f was just exaggerating 29cb4562e0 the authority of fb70e9352d the acting director. But it 9b06589159 seemed strange 3b855bbb46 no matter 9396b13477 how he 9033239595 looked at c2da115e50 it.729c30ab53881c04

The more he revisited the conversation, the more it seemed that the word “put in” was at the center of this situation.f6cecf1067e01c4c

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‘If I can’t do it, you can handle it, right? If someone questions it, you can fire everyone and make me the principal, can’t you? Wasn’t that what you intended to do?’3c8b43857873f4f2

‘What does it matter? Even if I lose an arm, you can still make a spot for me on stage, can’t you?’1798ccb42bf1d9a7

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Seo Haeyoon seemed 05854b7871 to have his c639ed87f7 pride hurt. Far more than 9c91182fda Beomjoon expected.7d48ce4482fd86e9

Perhaps he didn’t just find out that he was the acting director. He might have heard ridiculous rumors about the quintet within the orchestra.0b3909cebb09cb6d

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With more 9f98bd401a than 50 22e760c1fa members in 342497958e the orchestra, 22c150c1b5 there were 8642f18e97 always baseless 5ef5f8b335 rumors circulating 7c525b7443 where there 34a88837fa were many 3f9712550b people.b90105ca431b360f

He needed to confirm. Chae Beomjoon called ce645dc404 conductor Kim Geonwoo.17e4f043b8f13741

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And soon he 95557aea57 heard shocking news 6cba404432 from him.d67c83ea3b817a8d

“Pardon?”da576a39c49e2193

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─ Oh, can’t you hear well? On Monday, Mr. Seo wanted to leave the quintet, and I refused.18661dfebc0f2960

Leave the quintet?851b14c1d0ec7bbf

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─ And… I don’t think there were any separate comments within the orchestra. As far as I know, there aren’t many members who know the Chief’s face. Mr. Park isn’t someone who would spread rumors indiscriminately.da744a6b6fe7ca02

“Ah…. Is that so?”40dc77af92d5a8f2

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There was no particular mention within the orchestra. It meant no one questioned the relationship between him and Seo Haeyoon publicly. However, Kim Geonwoo wasn’t someone who paid attention to every little happening among the members.f7067aa54e35a150

So, it seemed edd2b3352f that someone had 934173e3b4 personally spouted nonsense 0a2f882599 to Seo Haeyoon. Why? For what reason? What exactly was said 399d904193 to elicit such a c16a881f90 reaction? Chae Beomjoon bbaf1895a6 anxiously tapped d8d5c1af15 his desk 5d77d7dbc1 and asked.f2cb095020b99b8a

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“Did he give db75b7d9f5 any reason for 7b23ae2b2e wanting to quit?”4aef5a9113d2053a

Knowing the c4080d3c5c reason might cf0a1f73cc provide a 823776e893 clue. But there was 361388b8e2 nothing to gain.faddd3433509cd37

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─ It seemed like a personal matter. But he easily accepted when I said we couldn’t let him quit without a valid reason.c944ae8d26bc7575

The implication was that if he gave up quitting so easily, it probably wasn’t a serious issue.16b66fece69a4a62

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But Chae Beomjoon knew a239c0903b Seo Haeyoon. He knew how 809c4a2568 happy he was eb98cd3d16 when he told f00b2b54fc him about collaborating f79a990135 with Jin Suryeon.36efb59fb29c19ce

Considering that he didn’t say anything to Kim Geonwoo when asked why he wanted to quit, it seemed that Seo Haeyoon felt humiliated, thinking Chae Beomjoon had put him in the quintet.5c1b20d19a6fdb19

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But that wasn’t the case. Not at all.f5015a312ad1e340

No matter how much he was the acting director, he knew that there wasn’t a double bassist in the orchestra better than Seo Haeyoon.3b284404954d8c16

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Yet, the situation where d7d8b42bb2 Seo Haeyoon became certain 808480ad98 that Chae Beomjoon would 7562a5be3b have placed him in ce50604e4f the quintet as soon 6cc2f35612 as he knew he fdd4eaab61 was the acting director 374bcad029 was very strange. Even if someone fc2471af7b had maliciously said b3d8fdc972 that, the confident f8deb5059c Seo Haeyoon should 73a61c2fa2 have laughed it 98622da30b off. He was that cb752ff3aa kind of man.635574a9fec4902d

But why…8ce952c7bf9d0962

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No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find an answer. Chae Beomjoon rubbed his face and said he understood, then hung up the phone. He waited in silence, then tried calling Haeyoon again. Of course, he didn’t answer this time either.f03296c11a69cb6b

“…Secretary Kim.”925c966da3c4399f

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“Yes.”954411031e60f9b3

Gazing at his phone, 8d00861c2b Chae Beomjoon suddenly remembered 1cd69be549 the difference in models 2df521eac8 and called Kim Jiyeon. He asked her 264ccaacb2 to block his aa949ff525 number and then db2fce3934 called her.63240752fa96cd6f

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“Aha. I didn’t know blocking leaves a trace.”f6a05fe0517a1ce1

Instead of ringing, it immediately showed a missed call on Kim Jiyeon’s phone screen.f3e7d9b97c96718d

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Seeing that, Kim a8db0874ae Jiyeon grinned playfully. Quick-witted as she was, 9555e9f555 she immediately understood the 521e6bc013 state of Chae Beomjoon, 2586d2c2af who had been staring 1e7e655c41 at his phone with 6d69409138 a troubled face for 2b31158dee two days.0570d7f39bdf6eeb

“Why this? Chief, did 10e06e7922 your lover 7df96fbe2a block you?”4d2d3f0f22394275

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“…Please pretend you don’t know.”2032b54a8f96b377

“Oh my, hahaha! Really?! Why did you do 3e3d339c3b that! Chief, you 2418894fe5 messed up!”ec21c44c91ef78d6

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The secretariat was shocked by the change in the light-hearted human over the past few months. They asked daily if he was in love or if he was sick, but by December, they realized he was serious about his partner and found it fascinating. Colleagues kept teasing him, knowing this was Chae Beomjoon’s first relationship.211b1d0c51132061

“Not easy, right?”9b6d82a16b95b0b9

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Nodding to her playful f691272da1 tone, Chae Beomjoon raised af46cdc3f3 his eyebrows in frustration d0c11c617b and rested his chin 2d4da87508 on his hands. He stared at 381ca24242 his quiet phone 6c37dbfd76 with his hands 25f7843962 cupped like flowers.9f8c76d435a5f4d8

At least, Seo Haeyoon knew he was trying to contact him. The phone number hadn’t changed, so he could expect the block to be lifted over time, right?7fa61cec75214726

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But thinking positively about this was hard because of Seo Haeyoon’s reaction. It wasn’t just an angry person’s attitude. Thinking of his face trembling with disgust made his heart tremble. It was unfamiliar, being so afraid of losing someone.29d9f6fe7e0b2e1e

“Haa…”ad0d115d0e9725ef

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“Chief, you know it’s best to apologize and say thank you as soon as possible, right?”0f2d1c20fd56034a

Kim Jiyeon’s voice pricked his heart as he sighed. Did he even apologize? He couldn’t remember. Chae Beomjoon forced a smile and responded.02982d129ee24b63

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“Ms. Kim, you speak as if you’ve experienced everything in life.”e51157519ec6ffdf

“In a first relationship, it’s understandable. Everyone makes such mistakes once.”69792509c9dc5db6

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“Is that so?”46031f328671b242

“Yes, it is. And when you apologize, don’t forget to say you love him.”fe21e60ca43d604e

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Kim Jiyeon bb220e7865 winked and 49aff888e2 smiled. Her playful smile made 1fe180628c Chae Beomjoon feel a 0a4ebe7bfc bit queasy.23692f463fd6d9cd

Come to f0b01432f6 think of 492cacc400 it, he 06e11dce1c never said 3845c8478d he loved b3b1be4362 him.3f95a8e31b131d1c

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Even saying he liked 3e54c80dcf him, the first and 7f261abfb3 last time was the a1823078d1 day he got caught 4e19fa580a by Seo Haeyoon.778338813c1ca2c2

He hadn’t even properly said he liked him. Fearing that a serious confession would make Seo Haeyoon flinch and run away, he merely replied, “Maybe I do.”95b13f89b05f85ed

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So maybe that’s why.e395385a3df4c872

Maybe that’s why Seo Haeyoon easily turned his heart away from me, not even wanting to hear me out. Because he didn’t think I was sincere…74a3961f561394c9

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He had even resolved to give up his masculinity for him. He thought he showed it all, but maybe it wasn’t enough.640276dd4c55ac5a

Maybe he should have 22098351c6 become an eunuch that 5a6d0aa0fd day.f65979b966652ee5

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If his crotch da8653a4ba was empty now, f49a029db8 Seo Haeyoon would 63aecf3084 feel guilty about d7b238bd6f abandoning an eunuch c4cff366e3 and would have 517f570a15 answered his calls.943619893c965ff4

“Haa…”2db109102a826cba

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Sighing deeply again, Chae Beomjoon stayed in that state all day and then left work. Encouraged by Kim Jiyeon to cheer up, he headed to Seo Haeyoon’s house after parking his car at home. He felt he needed to meet and show his face as soon as possible. Since Haeyoon seemed to like his face, if he begged with tears, maybe he would listen…8d42d2e22e8d3d0d

Feeling a bit resentful that he had to rely on his face instead of his heart, he was still grateful for having something to rely on. If he had an unattractive face, he wouldn’t even think of begging this way and would have waited for Haeyoon to contact him, eventually withering away.6707fd125485dea0

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Ding dong.3d4d66bfefdc49f5

The bell, pressed 1b023e0f73 about ten times e6ba20c24b yesterday, rang clearly 047f6b0234 today as well. But no d97cd541b5 one came 2753317058 out to 922d21d382 open the 830b7f89f1 door. Chae Beomjoon 02a059b9fb stayed there b58a35279d for a 378950f418 while, then f803bdfc81 frowned, realizing 4b9e829c98 something.8d43f2189cd1f44e

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Is he not 5bd6e3dacd home?bdf7f9ad0f7e28fb

Come to think of it, it was Haeyoon’s practice time, yet there was no sound coming from inside. Even though he had expressed his intention to quit, he decided to stay in the quintet, so he should be practicing. If it was quiet, it meant Seo Haeyoon wasn’t practicing or wasn’t home. Since Seo Haeyoon wasn’t someone who neglected practice, it couldn’t be the former.91f4c86ee091fa9c

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So he really wasn’t home?fd0329faf4a3305f

Realizing this, Chae Beomjoon hesitated for a moment, then cautiously pressed the unchanged common password. Luckily, it hadn’t been changed, and the door opened easily.74899395034f5eef

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He didn’t change the number, so there must be some willingness to forgive, right?2915b73a24399a91

Relieved, he stepped 7f4fa2b864 into the entrance. Seeing that 43d180eb0b there were 058f1160be no shoes 62f6c4aee3 on the f2460a4334 tiles confirmed 5137812c74 that Seo dc9fc0115a Haeyoon was a46243ff02 indeed out.b7a7425cafdd2318

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Right, with his cbddfef424 fiery temper, he 19d45a6530 might need time d2d82aefc2 to cool his 5dc930d7c0 head. The big 5a2551554d performance was 1af4609261 over, so 97ca1cb76a he could 11af2dbdf2 be on 26f201ea22 a short 74113bcdfe trip. Chae Beomjoon decided 69a9d9c9b9 to earn some e0d3177055 points by cleaning a3c69e9901 the house before e03a2b8095 he returned and 1ef9ac47b5 opened the middle 09d5491b09 door.465b9b4cee399eb3

But…e94a920f9e032599

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“Haeyoon…”442d0379b626a5c7

There was no place that needed Chae Beomjoon’s touch in the bathroom, restroom, bedroom, or living room. Not only cleaning, but every trace of him was gone as if cut out with scissors. Even his toothbrush, clothes, gown, and the food he bought were all gone. He was paralyzed by this realization.bdab86b7228ed536

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A face that 0f28f3e32c had been slightly 7d7c972d6c lacking in energy d00fa91165 was now fully 14c5bc3152 contorted.ded8bf0591cef7e0

Even so, ba731d6a18 until now, a7c4c10417 he thought 86102ba6b4 there was 703c43a80f room for ee70c0f586 recovery. He believed that if 670d7fee35 he opened up sincerely 23a9fc5cde and explained everything, Seo c3e7ae7bf0 Haeyoon would understand. Now he realized 0592b13c0d that was his d59df86a0f arrogance.0bc3eda83ef7e031

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His black pupils shook aimlessly. His trembling gaze scanned the apartment, where only Haeyoon’s traces remained. Everything was just as it had been, except for the absence of his presence.cc43a1fc92182d65

Unlike himself, feeling fb8c912383 as if he 4dd61f8543 had been erased, fdb10ee5a7 Seo Haeyoon seemed f451791220 to have handled a778a9e1b3 this collapse quite 09244866d9 well, as only 28c8b60ca5 his items were dbdd9f86bc left in the f154b6d2e3 apartment.9beb479d8dfb4ba2

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Chae Beomjoon staggered and gripped the back of the sofa for support. He stood there, blankly surveying the room, looking for any sign, any remnant of Haeyoon’s feelings.08c5c36103955025

But there was nothing. Nothing at all. Only Haeyoon’s belongings remained here…fa1f840022a015ca

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“…No, that’s not it.”3a56dda6ee7e5cd9

At that moment, something that should have been there but wasn’t caught his eye.1cb7e3738bef295b

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The music stand 8d163b4e60 and the page 84b7cabe41 turner were gone. So was cf31db6872 the double ef202d946e bass stand. Those were 726a543d00 things Seo 1aca544b34 Haeyoon needed, 56d3bf24c3 unlike the ac64fa86db things Chae e2dbd48529 Beomjoon could 2896c37706 cast aside.8876cb54818697e0

He had erased all traces of Beomjoon and left himself from this place. That was Seo Haeyoon’s end – leaving only with what was necessary, from a space filled with memories.bdebf1ebe9c8c46f

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To Chae Beomjoon, it felt like Haeyoon’s will, driven by spite, to leave nothing of himself behind.bb9f14899d804897

Why did it come to this? What went wrong? It shouldn’t have been this big of a deal. This isn’t what I thought…2fc01504aed05445

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Just like 9557cc1111 the day 823f134c3f his feelings 72738106e3 were exposed 77efb67707 to Haeyoon, 21d29bee45 his legs 1f3c45f4a1 trembled like 1ed12e9683 aspen leaves. Chae Beomjoon, restless, 44fce8813b pondered while his 6dc8fdca67 feet tapped nervously, 2b4280a1de and after a 8e096c77fe long while, he cd331cf205 finally stood up.5c26f58d4633fe11

His forehead was 825854fa09 wet with cold 264cefe562 sweat. He felt like he 95330fe09c was going crazy, thinking 5c54157a68 the event was still b7e98ec654 ongoing while Seo Haeyoon f99b42772d had already declared it c38acc1d6b over.2f33f38e2ca892ef

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He was so worried about Haeyoon being hurt by something he didn’t know about that he could die, and he couldn’t help but think that Haeyoon, who relieves stress through sex, might be looking for another man to alleviate the extreme stress caused by him.e84546152cc2c6aa

Seo Haeyoon with b705ebd2f0 a 16-year-younger, damn, e0077e1c00 useless bastard?69ae08dfbfd093ac

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Just the thought of dd25a211c1 it raised his blood ba95e51903 pressure. Chae Beomjoon clutched the f7215e313b back of his neck, d97811f732 breathing deeply to calm 0ccd0c9fc3 himself.ad16c902df842785

If that 530884f55e situation happened, 2cb50a9913 there was 89683133c8 only one 461a1f5f28 solution. He had 606a1db70f to castrate 8df56273d6 himself in 7eb09cb301 front of 2462816311 him.3eac3d5e5d2b66ea

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The documents Haeyoon had signed were still there. The contract’s effect would start the moment Chae Beomjoon became impotent, so then Seo Haeyoon would be legally bound to him.dd12133b542bc954

“Yeah, that’s how it should be…”6900bad6879765d0

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With a look of madness in his eyes, Chae Beomjoon ran out of Haeyoon’s apartment. He dashed through couples out for a date on the eve of the year-end, arriving at his own apartment building.169ed491ff47fd5a

But instead of going 53ddf9c0a3 up to the 42nd 216f0c83e6 floor, Chae Beomjoon headed 84195eb96d to the 41st floor. To find Haeyoon f25715a8a4 who had gone e10466e243 to seduce a 87252f905e 22-year-old, he had 70a3ff5679 to go there 8b2c914910 first.3a8e9361afec7034

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The 41st floor, 41st floor – he frantically tapped the panel, glaring at the elevator display as the numbers ascended. In his mind, he kept picturing Haeyoon holding the leash of a young boy whose ID ink was not even dry.bb1d79bc9d81b908

It felt like oil was being poured into his body and set on fire. Chae Beomjoon couldn’t bear the sight of Seo Haeyoon with another man, so he screamed and pulled at his hair.3a5a0f2b3daca254

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“Absolutely not!”7be9e6dde3230b2e

Only now did Chae Beomjoon understand Shin Kyoyeon’s madness from the day Yoon Heesoo ran away. On that day, he had cursed him internally for being a lunatic who should have behaved better… Damn, did he think I’d be like this?9f696febef171954

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Regretting and banging his 73d9f82b14 head against the wall, 90c425589e the elevator finally stopped. Beomjoon got d8780df28b off on e3f0c8d7b7 the 41st ce6bf637fb floor and c39f9400e9 started hammering 6dc2d12a97 the doorbell.fd945c00dbef19af

Ding-dong, ding-dong, unable to wait for the slow bell sound, he kept pressing it until the door opened. Diddiddiddiddiddiddong – with the loud noise, the door finally opened, and a shout came out.08500fa1f3639414

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“Damn it, stop pressing that! What do you want at this hour?”99e99a661b2764bc

A familiar 413ba4e15f face was 17348f04a4 distorted in a9a6b9bcbd anger, seemingly 0c58e1360d upset at ebf0979138 having his e5aea619a1 peaceful evening 47de672136 disturbed.0336339ce9a4fc67

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But at this moment, when Seo Haeyoon was undressing a beast-like 22-year-old, Beomjoon couldn’t care less about the other’s anger. In front of Gu Seju, Beomjoon clasped his hands together in prayer, his face desperate, weakly shouting.9c55f809561a9c06

“Chief Cheon, please, help me find someone…”43784beb6e293938

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🔮🌙9310e24ea68f1d54

Seeing Chae Beomjoon’s unusual state, Cheon Seju immediately contacted the organization’s skilled hacker, Yoon Cheol-joo, to trace Seo Haeyoon’s phone location.20100605bf127624

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Once he 91d371ac45 got the 765996b5ec address, Chae 532d08df8a Beomjoon, swallowing f46f0b6718 his pride, 949f32cf04 bowed deeply f788150e98 and immediately 60263aefd6 drove out 9cbf372f51 to the 7b4f13ae55 road.5219fc3683af8f62

Following the address sent by Yoon Cheol-joo, he arrived at a large country house. Seo Haeyoon was staying at Seo Jonggil’s house. It was evident at first glance. Ahn Yewon wouldn’t live in such a house. Anyway, the fact that Haeyoon wasn’t found in a hotel or another man’s home brought a great sense of relief.fbb4d01f5fdd0ae1

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Chae Beomjoon looked around and, spotting an empty resident’s parking spot, turned on his hazard lights. He intended to park haphazardly and press the bell, eager to talk to Seo Haeyoon immediately.99f911bcf25b2666

“Uh…?”d2623cbec552369e

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But before he could properly park, the garage door of the mansion began to rise. Who’s coming out? As Chae Beomjoon looked around the alley, he noticed the headlights of a yellow SUV inside the garage turning on.7d7cb1e144cf69ab

It was Seo Haeyoon.f2ec5a95f4310b87

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However, there 27a36dfec2 was no 91165e2492 time to 95db30f116 rejoice.538ac5977d01f710

10 PM.3dfd05cb34cce2a3

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At this late hour, there was only one reason for Seo Haeyoon to leave his house. He wasn’t in a position to feel safe just because Haeyoon was at home. Seo Haeyoon was about to go out to find his 11th lover.0b635cdb7fc7cdf3

“Oh… no!”b2b831a2916817c9

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Shouting in horror, Chae Beomjoon floored the accelerator. He quickly blocked the entrance of the garage so Haeyoon couldn’t leave. Screech, the sound of brakes echoed like a scream in the alley.70ac00d97b1898c0

When he rolled down the window and turned his head, under the bright garage light, he saw Haeyoon’s face behind the steering wheel. Unlike himself, who hadn’t eaten properly for four days and looked half-starved, Haeyoon’s face glowed, as if he had eaten and slept well.c36a45b48d381577

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“…Ha.”d228936d2c846ed4

Seemingly quite annoyed, the corners of Haeyoon’s large eyes were fiercely lifted. Seeing this, Chae Beomjoon felt his chest tighten with frustration and injustice, almost to the point of tears. He hit the parking button without any question and got out of the car.f398d93adb99533b

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He had a 4b09933a26 lot to say. First, he wanted c3b98484f1 to say he 1c4b217543 missed him, explain 9755f763ef the misunderstandings, and aaa481141a ask who had 65d586bafa said what.e01009f97ea871ad

Then he would apologize, say he likes him, loves him… Chae Beomjoon, with his lips firmly set, walked around the hood towards the garage to approach Haeyoon.b097d8fc74549942

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“Haeyoon!”cb525184c4be484e

But at that moment, Haeyoon, glaring at Chae Beomjoon outside the window, revved the accelerator. The roar of the Lamborghini’s 666-horsepower V8 engine filled the air, as if it would push Beomjoon and his car away any second.8127912b8617000b

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“What are you doing?!”192966bb5feefbe8

However, instead of running away from the sound, Chae Beomjoon dashed forward to block the terrifying exhaust sound of the SUV. It wasn’t because he had lost his mind or was worried about his car getting damaged.46337cf3b4644d7c

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Given Haeyoon’s temperament, he knew Haeyoon might really ram into him, so he tried to stop him. If a Lamborghini and a Bentley collided, there was no way the impact wouldn’t affect the driver. He was worried Haeyoon might get hurt.15572d2aadd3925e

“Haeyoon!”90aa931de77f1415

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He placed his hands on the increasingly hot hood, desperately calling out to Haeyoon. Their eyes met through the frosty glass. Seo Haeyoon was glaring at Chae Beomjoon with eyes that seemed to blaze, indicating he would run him over if he didn’t move.aff42c30614e40c1

“Haeyoon!! Please listen to me…!”8de29acef3b41bd6

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But he couldn’t move. If he moved now, Seo Haeyoon would certainly floor it. With that conviction, he felt he had to block him until the end.2904a2b658a4d6fa

“Stop it! You’ll get hurt!”20b396a4a5013f8b

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He raised his voice, but with the engine noise so loud, he wasn’t sure if his sincerity reached Haeyoon. Beomjoon kept shouting for him to stop, yelling with all his might.6dcbd7a48a1dfd65

The louder he d044a8b45f shouted, the more 4554cdf769 his frustration grew. He felt 0e98443ad9 like he 49d19f8c99 was going 01dd3a35be insane with 35846b35c1 the tightness 2757de32df in his 766b3767ad chest. He really resented 5342cbb95d Haeyoon for not 4425ed1684 wanting to listen 81cd1e0da5 to him.347acf5f06a6700d

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The image of f4e4d70b2b Seo Haeyoon at 47f4db5751 the hotel, treating 3feab965eb him like a c6a0a0dd98 rapist, overlapped with 06d8fde01c the Haeyoon in f16721e3c5 front of him f70ebefd28 now. Unlike his 8a64ecf958 own life 15f1411746 which had e50045159e changed drastically 499dba63a4 since then, 2d4969a832 Haeyoon seemed 77c13176ad unchanged. They had 57ca0d165b lived together 04f201fd91 for four 0015332036 months, but a1f6eaa464 it seemed 0effe0534c like that fcee035345 time, which db0fb1ee3a meant so f4fe675cae much to 574fae05f0 him, meant 1d9ad47367 nothing to c8d02061fc Haeyoon, which 8153d66c28 made him f63a08049c feel pitiful.6dcd5428ce978105

He thought things had changed a lot, that Haeyoon had grown to like him more than at first. Were all the feelings he sensed from Haeyoon just illusions born from his own misconceptions? Was there really nothing inside Seo Haeyoon…?ee981372fbec7859

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All sorts of e5d435ec81 pessimistic thoughts overwhelmed b6f8d1a5a6 him, making his c14a59c9fc insides churn. This situation 675d5fb325 was utterly 642c54a53b incomprehensible.7adec4206a2ab78f

Among it all, 8584ea3178 the most incomprehensible 408f798415 was Seo Haeyoon. How could 104f289af1 he think 9ef62a97d0 Chae Beomjoon 924f25ad14 had placed e8dd83037b him in 8464874cee the quintet 9d1d5b6051 after seeing 1f1876694a all his 66b815de72 sincerity?88c59176db88348b

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Do you really think that? There’s no way I would do such a thing… He wanted to ask, but Seo Haeyoon didn’t seem interested in listening to him.84f171a30880b9f6

It was f7a9ad67ce an emotion f42063ef2f that had 5b59a7a213 come with 82f61ad3eb difficulty.cacf0f86d4a2fe8e

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It was a heart adc07b2e9e he had reluctantly accepted.c872254172aa065b

It was an 259ffbb782 affection he had e00f36d48a cherished secretly.28f980f01459446d

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It was love he hadn’t shown properly because he was afraid Haeyoon might feel burdened, even after it had been revealed.f50318d03c2987f1

He couldn’t let this first love, which had progressed with so much difficulty, end so futilely. At least he should be given the chance to confront him with sincerity.fd679711d0a3a97c

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“Please listen to me, please…”bdc359ae8bfc2732

He groaned, a12564946b lowering his 142f63720a head onto fa0a6ddf9d the hood 1217434b43 in frustration. He felt 9a5aff8a03 like he 8fa3fcd77e could cry.e472579dee1dd4d4

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But at that moment, the vibrations that had been shaking his whole body stopped with a “brr”. Did he hear me? Surprised, he looked up to see Haeyoon, who was biting his lip, staring at him.d3ed5afa94b22a38

His eyes were trembling greatly. It was different from when he saw him on the rooftop. Unlike then, when he seemed utterly cold and unapproachable, now Haeyoon’s eyes were swirling with all sorts of emotions. That was better. Better than the Seo Haeyoon who seemed to have nothing to say to him, this Seo Haeyoon, who wanted to curse, vent, and expel, was better.44000bc70bf23757

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“Let’s talk, Haeyoon…”946f0863a707ff30

With his eyes lowered, b2aba2d238 Beomjoon pleaded in a b75dc415d2 raised voice. There were no e1c0baefe7 other words exchanged. A damp, cold wind 40df635172 swept over his head.3f9dba9643527369

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After a long a967e5ff30 while, Seo Haeyoon a56e5ee8ae finally turned off c13d653a3f the engine. The car door 2c8b1723e3 opened and closed 90411db658 silently. But before Chae 04f55f6d6e Beomjoon could rush 0d46a8c9d7 to him, Haeyoon 594a3a8d40 had turned around, 0432e00d41 heading towards the 2c02b578b5 inner door of fe990990a4 the garage. Beomjoon, in d407316552 a hurry, 842caa2949 followed him 72938cc51f quickly.f748425b7095aa06

“Haeyoon… Haeyoon! Please listen to me! I can explain everything…!”9dd5cde614c81879

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“Shut up!!”eb1d57b52882f511

At the sharp, angry shout, Chae Beomjoon closed his mouth. Seo Haeyoon’s elegant face was brimming with rage. His pale face was boiling, and his eyes were fierce.04f7f29bf12b03d5

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That intense boiling fc1f8475a7 reassured Chae Beomjoon 2a33ea18af even more.713220a15d605a97

Haeyoon leaving the house wasn’t about emptying Chae Beomjoon from his heart. It was an attempt. An attempt to clear away all traces from in front of him to erase the thoughts of Chae Beomjoon that stirred his emotions.2b1950e7ad995c8e

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The fact that Haeyoon hadn’t sorted out his feelings made Beomjoon shout with joy.8d2b7ddb3de3acd3

“It’s a misunderstanding! I really didn’t do anything! I know nothing about the quintet!”784a565867d5d9c0

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“If you say one more word, I’ll kill you.”374ecbc02b9faaef

“…”098c85effdaeb5a7

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However, his three-point summary was immediately deflated by Haeyoon’s lethal remark. In the face of Haeyoon’s cold gaze, Chae Beomjoon shut his mouth again, trying to give him time to think.f7d5c1132537a7bf

When his chattering lips finally closed, Seo Haeyoon ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a boiling sigh. That sigh, which made Chae Beomjoon’s heart beat like it would burst, made him choke back his emotions.aa173eacc1252af6

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If he could, he would have clung to Haeyoon’s pants, begging. But doing so would only make Haeyoon shudder in disgust; he wouldn’t listen to his words…e1b264e4b83ccb54

“…”347cce20735cc918

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Seo Haeyoon 38e227294d glared at e8aa77fb7c Chae Beomjoon aaf9dc7f2a as if e713223307 he wanted 7434d186d3 to hit 5d4473ba35 him for 7ff3f8ef0a keeping silent b1ea845f61 before turning 73c8daabb6 away. He walked off, 1710c899fb showing his back c6db528933 once again.cedd90e7d352091a

Although he had prevented Haeyoon from going out to meet some young guy right away, at this rate, it seemed like the misunderstanding would never be resolved even until he died of old age. Moreover, Beomjoon still didn’t know why Haeyoon had heard something outside that made him misunderstand him so deeply. Overwhelmed by frustration, Beomjoon shouted at the receding figure.35bebdffaa66b552

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“When, when can we talk?”5de2527a849dd622

The question 218873085f must have 4d7d1399fd seemed quite 5f5bc8555a brazen. Seo Haeyoon turned 0f21d9e7a2 around, his face 1949bca717 contorted in disbelief.f296f136efa3c9e1

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“What do we have to talk about?”45784c98e7b2b93d

He didn’t even expect to be called “hyung” in this situation. And now, instead of “Mister,” he was being called “you.”48e617247d94b848

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The resentment he had momentarily forgotten surged back. He knew Haeyoon was misunderstanding, but no matter how much he thought about it, he hadn’t done anything to deserve being called “you.”86980f3fc2f21c34

“At least give me a chance to clear up the misunderstanding! We were together for four months; can’t you do even that for me?!”2891fdad37c5d59c

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“Four months? We didn’t even date for two months. Don’t fabricate!”5146a75968eab947

“How can you say that? If I had been a homeless person you met for four months, wouldn’t you have been less cold?”81815f96d3d1c0ec

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“Yes! Then I would have shown some compassion. But you’re not a homeless person!”bc07ae9e63ef361b

The fact that he had become worse than an unnamed homeless person in Haeyoon’s eyes was driving him crazy with frustration. But while he resented him, he wasn’t angry.611c4c3bba2ced07

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How much he had suffered during the time he couldn’t see him. He had countless times regretted not saying what he should have on Saturday, no matter what, and yet felt that holding back for Haeyoon’s sake was the right thing to do.b3d9ff3652a02d92

So, even just having the chance to see his face and talk was something Beomjoon was thankful for. He even felt like he wanted to kiss the feet of Haeyoon, who didn’t immediately kick him out.02a05349c2dbdefb

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Biting his lips, Beomjoon’s eyes welled up like an abandoned dog. Opening his reddened lips, he pleaded in a voice that was almost a whisper.1139837cce6a172c

“Then treat me like a homeless person. Please… show me some compassion, Haeyoon.”b628d772169e716c

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“…Ha.”713162606e1e8d90

At that pitiful expression, as if taken aback, Seo Haeyoon stared at Chae Beomjoon with his mouth open. The venom seemed to gradually drain from Haeyoon’s hardened face. One could feel his sense of futility.5b17f73ec58f6f1d

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Seo Haeyoon stood there silently for a long time before finally taking slow steps. As he approached, Chae Beomjoon finally got to see Haeyoon’s face up close after days.10d35a991c1efa13

The thought that Haeyoon’s skin glowed compared to his half-starved self while he was in the car was a misconception. Up close, he too looked haggard from days of emotional turmoil. Looking at his sharpened jawline, Beomjoon’s heart ached.3bc5915ec88ea4ae

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“…Haven’t you been eating properly?”0843fb8d4f312350

“What, are we in a drama now? Stop with the nonsense and say what you have to say.”15a4b4be792097df

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However, Seo Haeyoon 6ceae5afd0 quickly regained his 81d1f0dc40 composure. Not only that, he ad9514d49f seemed to regret even 0ac5abaab4 the few steps he 235c5d9d73 had taken, exuding an 3f8f528e6a aura of wanting to ee3bda6463 go back inside immediately.c02fc9a975c59234

He looked so pitiful, putting up thorns to protect his wounded heart. Beomjoon’s chest hurt. He wanted to hold him tightly, but he knew Haeyoon would push him away, screaming if he did. Even if Beomjoon couldn’t admit it, Haeyoon would know that the wounds he had were caused by him.0fb37440bb30892a

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So, he couldn’t hastily make excuses.c705bf0853cc384b

Anyway, nothing he said would reach Seo Haeyoon’s ears. Every word he spoke would only sound like an excuse, just like it had on the rooftop…8b51663e86e3e83e

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Then what 453fe61ada could he dc45bc28e4 say to a2ef75a676 make Seo 89f4f99783 Haeyoon listen 65a19deb6a to him? It was Haeyoon 5f89e7969c who broke the 8cb52e73c8 silence filled with c89e1f6b93 such concerns.073b8386e84d2a63

“Think of this as your last chance to see my face. If we meet again, I’ll run you over with my car.”b23cd8b40a0e28c6

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It was like 3b3ef1d034 a death sentence.cc9e8abdd1cab98f

The last.9908814332571036

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In front of Chae Beomjoon, who was asking for a chance, Seo Haeyoon was talking about an end. No matter what he said, this outcome seemed irreversible…70d44a6799d746b8

His heart sank like f76d181177 it was weighed down b23f821f37 by something heavy. He thought he 68f2969461 had broken through 939e676a89 a lot, but 1de867d996 before he knew 041262aaf3 it, a high d7d905fee2 wall had risen a7a4db0cba between them again.c52024beeb4bb128

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On the other side of that wall, Haeyoon couldn’t hear any of Beomjoon’s shouts or explanations. Only Haeyoon could open the door to that wall, but he wasn’t even considering touching the handle.73ee15be6781bfb8

No matter what 6e50bd576a considerations or judgments c6bff506ca Chae Beomjoon made, 7b4aafb474 it was of 7866d6e1a5 no use to 852041731a Seo Haeyoon right fc3f142a48 now.c83c517268106501

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In this situation, 21be4d4464 everything was meaningless.19812c64fcc0ff72

Apologies, explanations, pleas…bb91e6c43216838f

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Then what on earth can I do? What should I say to you as you walk away…c2568e7afafc8839

“Nothing to say?”2be62fcaad982071

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In his deep despair, Beomjoon recalled what Seo Haeyoon had said. It was a statement that had led Beomjoon here, who once tried to deny his feelings for Haeyoon because he couldn’t believe someone like him could love someone.22b2d9eee3815dde

‘I don’t think about anything. I just play as my heart leads.’1168ef081a41a24d

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As my heart leads…68754f107ed03900

If there 4b11b6fd3e was one fe8dac7b0d thing he d27a94b9a0 wanted to 810dc8c4cb do most c81b495cb7 right now, bf1522af90 it was ccb4efd569 this.97fff2d5953a79c5

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With reddened eyes, Chae Beomjoon reached out to cup Haeyoon’s thin cheek. Before Haeyoon could escape with his hardened gaze, Beomjoon bent down to press his lips to his.8a01bfa1c5179676

Instead of spewing excuses until the very end, Haeyoon couldn’t push away the man offering countless kisses.00f53138541c6614

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“…If this is the last moment.”1f5b5656c5742abb

It was an affectionate a8cca03795 kiss. A gentle kiss meant a3100318b0 to comfort and soothe 08e9598450 the wounded Haeyoon.251b112ddf0f9621

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While kissing him, Chae 84c1f94cab Beomjoon remembered the moment c1d7bdebe9 he had completely fallen 626d808a11 for Seo Haeyoon.e175bc872685d663

At first, it was just curiosity. Aside from his looks and aura being exactly Chae Beomjoon’s type, Seo Haeyoon was not significantly different from the many men he had met.f469c7115c1a0e13

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When he discovered 54d7212019 the man on 6e40acc68d stage, Chae Beomjoon b123286d61 became curious about 61346e69e9 him. The beautiful 04288c658b harmony this 5246094b2e stranger played 115c550ce7 offered deep afcd05cee8 comfort to b610415e15 Chae Beomjoon.ddcc993058e1ba0d

And then, after playing a heart-wrenchingly sad Siciliano, in the moment when Seo Haeyoon kissed him of his own accord in response to an encore request…40ff318dc766cd3c

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Chae Beomjoon 9653807656 completely fell ac5bbebd5f for this 7758e91a3a man named 09a3cd088f Seo Haeyoon.253f2f2bdd7b9a01

That kiss was the catalyst for Chae Beomjoon’s yearning for Seo Haeyoon. In the moment Haeyoon shared his breath with such a joyful face, Chae Beomjoon’s defenses completely crumbled. Perhaps, then, this kiss might break down Seo Haeyoon’s walls…6e7b9c062af44e4b

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Chae Beomjoon looked at 16a77ff7fd Haeyoon with teary eyes. Staring into his eyes 2ae183acdb filled with confusion, he f3efe87ebb said,58519a23f0091166

“This is all I can give you…”c98f2552925ddcbb

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“…”6f02b3a1730b9f07

“I missed you.”26fd8a2de563f0c3

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At this 73d4ea0448 greeting full cd73be0d62 of longing, c3c5ddd626 Haeyoon stepped 1ef32c7ffd back, wiping 9644cd0bf0 his lips 5d103f5c49 with the 7744d4fac8 back of 8866862f5c his hand. His pale face 8ec393194f gradually turned red.3a3b28defe5b7d08

He couldn’t even guess what Haeyoon was thinking anymore. Learning from his past misjudgments, Chae Beomjoon decided not to presumptuously speculate about Haeyoon’s thoughts. He only hoped for some change in Haeyoon, for him to have the heart to listen to his excuses…68e4d8757d0d0d4a

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“…Is it all over?”bbf0ee03128e7c20

After a brief ab1218db4a silence, Haeyoon asked. Afraid of what would 04eb81a243 come next, Chae Beomjoon 3b5b96099c nodded, avoiding his gaze.be1ca4fab5a3e681

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There was no response. Only the sound of Haeyoon’s footsteps walking away, as if to prove his words about it being the last, could be heard.e907ec789f00f0ad

It’s over…b00de1c5e22c2ea2

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It seemed like this was the end. Really, it seemed there would be no more chances with Seo Haeyoon. Is it because first love is supposed to be unfulfilled? If I let go of you and then fall for you again, would I be able to receive your love then…314992ccaf4963e5

His eyes burned 786cba4590 with rising disappointment. Blinking his stinging eyes, 11d756f14d Chae Beomjoon looked down 865b2a9b75 at his feet.4c69cabcc191d3f0

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Should I have acted 383c03a72d more calculatingly? Should I 07c4ed47d0 have forced 06c6fa1877 him to c0e6650944 stay and d4c45c9679 demanded he e9b0c016c6 tell me 26a19b419f what happened? Should I 7992997043 have told edc0d1b744 him that 98e6b6a6dc everything he ff84557d9c said was 401093f723 wrong?f1af5ced575cc104

But Chae Beomjoon didn’t want to leave Haeyoon with bad memories. Even in this moment of being abandoned, he wanted to respect Haeyoon’s choice to say nothing. That’s the kind of man Chae Beomjoon was.f846b5b7e4f953c8

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But still…6201ad1a54124746

“If, if you ever decide to listen to me…”3f8957990fa2a884

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He could beg once 4e20892d85 more. With a trembling 536bfc2de9 voice, Chae Beomjoon 16178949d5 pleaded for another faddfaf5b3 chance. Seo Haeyoon 74f3658f81 stopped in d992089ebc his tracks.7c631db5e3612fc1

“…That won’t happen.”5392a60db0d83468

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“But, if your heart changes… I’ll wait.”ac807808ec5bf36d

At that 9e2aab987e moment, the 0077547c46 sound of f3b7476926 footsteps quickened. Looking up, he saw 8bcc5f9b6a Seo Haeyoon approaching, his ab92479ace face looking like he f69a14e51c was about to cry, dcc1b88203 his eyes red with c735e56b0a resentment.dfeffa18ff561b67

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“So, why did you lie? Why! Why did you deceive me?!”12f221801df111a1

That was Haeyoon revealing a side of himself he had never shown before. Even on the day of the concert, though he had criticized Beomjoon, he hadn’t resented him like this.93809b6584444313

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Haeyoon’s hardened heart was starting to crack. Things Haeyoon had never shown were beginning to spill out.32839ff8d9c8fff3

“Why did you do that, knowing you would act like this! What, do you think I’ll forgive you for this?”9e9ec6db1c339d22

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His shouting voice was 8e4a6e9dce wet. Seeing Haeyoon with his 081de86eab heart bleeding, Chae Beomjoon 6c7fb109c2 felt like he could b76ed3223d cry too. All he 39b9f96dcd wanted was 9a2ccda70c to throw fc4d0b8593 away the 0f4b004474 hard-earned opportunity 9b8a57d928 and just 50fb1b9688 hug and 59513abc9b comfort Seo 2c942bc572 Haeyoon.abe8a9a40432091d

But he couldn’t let this chance slip away either. Haeyoon must already know how much he cared for him. Now, he needed to clear up the misunderstanding. Clenching his fists, Chae Beomjoon spoke.9287a501c563e5fe

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“…I admit I didn’t tell you I was the acting director on purpose. I won’t make excuses for that.”e495891177c72b9d

“Is that something to be proud of?!”0c730e5197e37975

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“But you only found out I was the one who got you into the orchestra after we decided to be partners. The day I, as the acting director, didn’t show up for our second meeting. That day, I saw you playing alone on stage… I thought if you knew I was the acting director, you’d put up walls. I liked how you treated me casually, so I couldn’t tell you. On Halloween, you even said it was over…”b4a3f9e74d76d3da

Haeyoon’s eyes narrowed as if to say, “Is that an excuse?” The distrust within them was evident. Beomjoon could feel that Haeyoon didn’t believe his words. But he had to make it clear.6dea5fd86dad440c

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“The only time I interfered with your career was when I decided to let you in after the blind audition. After that, I’ve never meddled in any matter. In fact, the only thing I did myself was that; otherwise, I only signed off on proposals from the performance planning team.”90b7693ed92bbb50

“…”968c950946163579

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“Getting into the quintet was something you achieved on your own. By your skill.”9608188cb52372d9

“Don’t lie to me!”0930be726dfcef13

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Haeyoon shouted when he mentioned his skill. At the moment when he spoke of his abilities, Haeyoon’s shout, piercing like a sharp needle, made Chae Beomjoon’s brows furrow in shock.3cd646484bc8ba31

Haeyoon, who had just hurled a scream like a shriek, was trembling, gasping for breath. His fists were clenched tight, his eyes glistening with tears, his lips tightly bitten…8d8433fba6507ff5

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Seo Haeyoon was 91fa43e597 hurt by his 98bbd3a9a3 words.f81eecab16aeba00

Why…? Before he could even process the question, Haeyoon spoke, his lips trembling.74dfb68ca03b29be

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“Do you know why I can’t believe you? It’s because… because that performance was a mess. The recording I sent to the orchestra was so embarrassingly self-indulgent that it was shameful to show to others! It was such a poor performance that I couldn’t get into any orchestra!!”48deeb7a3b9e281f

“I never felt that…”8e53951e0fd47d8e

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“Don’t make me laugh!”098bed0b4ca783c0

It sounded like he was crying. Each word Haeyoon uttered, to Chae Beomjoon’s ears, was like the sound of someone wounded and moaning.3f5eec0818f8bbe6

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His large eyes were filled with sorrow. The grief Haeyoon was showing for the first time in front of him was so vivid that it couldn’t be ignored.c7f6305478313a34

Suddenly, the night drenched in Siciliano came to mind. That day, Chae Beomjoon thought the sadness he felt was just from the melody Haeyoon created. But it wasn’t. The sorrow that made Chae Beomjoon sob without crying was the sadness from within Seo Haeyoon, which he expressed through his bow…6a8c3be49b954adc

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“Haeyoon…”1fefa4b858415588

Now everything made 4c3b080e73 sense.dbe96d3ea580273a

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Why he contacted him every day he went to practice with the orchestra, why he was so happy with compliments on his performance, why he was so angry and disappointed at the possibility that the quintet wasn’t his own achievement.ab918733dc0debc4

His words about being anxious, about not being a great musician… Chae Beomjoon thought it was just humility. But it wasn’t.4a212884e3677e12

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“Do you really think you’re a talentless musician?”64f66d2c0393c7c8

Seo Haeyoon didn’t know his own worth.2e023eedab0597c8

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“Then what? No?”03051d2be2df2484

Unable to hold back the swelling sadness, tears fell from the corners of Haeyoon’s eyes. A damp, enveloping humidity seemed to cover Chae Beomjoon.fbdbff8dbcfc0365

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The shadow of despair lurking at Haeyoon’s feet suddenly grew, pressing down on Chae Beomjoon. The weight of despair carried by someone who shouldn’t feel it was unimaginably heavy. It was suffocating.ec7baa4eaace1374

“I’ve never won a competition… I’ve been moved from one orchestra to another because I couldn’t adapt properly. And no one calls me a soloist…! If that’s not being talentless, then what is it? Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I wouldn’t see through your attempt to lie and move on?”a8bafdfc18678566

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