SB Ch 29

“Whether it’s Cologne or Seoul, what’s important is that you’re performing with the same purpose, not the name of the orchestra. I know better than anyone how hard you work, so why are you saying such things? Did you slack off during the performance earlier?”2abf4b72bcb6c3bc

“…I worked hard.”d9728b5cac9166ad

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As Haeyoon answered with fa817d686b his head bowed, Seo 0d36f9da49 Jonggil looked at him d4885028d1 with sympathy, his expression cf9c1af322 softening.fb700b25f2bd20ad

No matter how much Seo Haeyoon tried to hide his feelings, Seo Jonggil was still his parent. He knew that after slipping at the competition where Yoo Jihyeon had won awards three times, Haeyoon was more disappointed than anyone. But even so, Haeyoon never talked about quitting music, which made Seo Jonggil proud. Could it be that he had been harboring such thoughts all this time? With a pained heart, Seo Jonggil gently placed a hand on Haeyoon’s shoulder.1cb7d7ff428199a0

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“If you love it and work hard, that’s all that matters. What more is needed? And I genuinely think you play as well as your mother did.”cefaa871c02be5b5

“…”7582a79d82947dcb

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“I swear on my balls, that’s the truth.”b045f8b65ad7da5a

The comment about playing as well as his mother brought tears to Haeyoon’s eyes, and the following remark made him laugh in spite of himself. When Haeyoon laughed, Seo Jonggil’s stern face relaxed into a smile.f4db622c836e3070

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“Yes, you should laugh. If you don’t, you look so aloof, and ignorant fools will come running at you. So, son, where’s that scoundrel you were supposed to introduce me to tonight? Huh? Did he bring a bouquet bigger than this old man’s?”009641f169ca2a16

But that laughter soon 8130ebc2df faded. Seeing his father 5532d9840c mention Chae Beomjoon, a020fdaf7f the man Haeyoon 5b905dfe8b wanted to kill, 0eae72e33c he inadvertently shed 2d3a45ed72 a tear. It was 0d2e1afb93 a single 165cbe43dd drop, added e6623deed8 to the 575243a287 tears that df5524c583 had welled 10194a0d90 up from 3938ab0467 thoughts of 6e67615aaa his mother.db069f1224d61fd8

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And with 33b8b6c3f9 that tear, ad6096a707 Seo Jonggil e0c8ba1767 vaguely grasped 051bcf2dd5 the situation.46a4acdd73d31f9d

“Shit, did that old bastard not come to the performance?”96dfe65008411d57

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“…He didn’t… come?”383c9e8d4b277acd

Haeyoon, trying hard to suppress his surge of emotion, asked Seo Jonggil. Although he had told Chae Beomjoon not to come, he had desperately wanted to see him sneak into the auditorium during the performance. But he held back, clenching his teeth, fearing it would affect his performance if he couldn’t find him.a578ff38da5bc58f

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Seo Jonggil’s seat was in the center of the first-floor audience, so if Chae Beomjoon had come, he wouldn’t have missed him. Such a noticeable man was rare. But Seo Jonggil shook his head at Haeyoon’s question.9758268169c44af2

“I didn’t see him! See, Haeyoon, I told you. Guys like him are all shiny on the outside but empty inside, right? Huh? Dating a gigolo like that, you’re the only one who loses.”9c9e3bd36052adcf

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“…I’m not doing that.”ef7512f6ecfe695c

“Huh?”8bb00096757ca49a

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“I’m not dating, not with someone like that…”2a34fe957b825556

Had he been expecting something? Even if he told him not to come, did he secretly hope he would show up and cling to him? Even if he wouldn’t have believed anything he said, he had hoped he would come, perhaps just to vent his anger.84fa0d14f51fc26b

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It’s all over…a25cb9cdcd7c605e

It seemed like he just wanted to be petty. Was this lingering attachment? Haeyoon wiped the corners of his eyes, trying to erase the unfamiliar feeling, but his eyes soon became wet again. Chae Beomjoon had left too many memories in Haeyoon’s heart. It would take quite some time to let them all go.ce4c078fa615c52a

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🔮🌙dee8bf5be784708b

Chae Beomjoon didn’t attend the Sunday performance either. After the concert, seeing Seo Haeyoon come out with a blank expression, Ahn Yewon and Park Hayeon seemed to guess what had happened and didn’t mention any partners as if by tacit agreement. For the first time since he was 17, Seo Haeyoon spent Christmas without a lover or partner.dba756393de4e2d3

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And then aa54842d3c came Monday.a24b7a22f614bada

“…”f1ef94148101e204

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Getting up from his bed, Haeyoon stared blankly at the empty space beside him before throwing a pillow. He couldn’t bear the spot where Chae Beomjoon had lain. No, he didn’t want to keep anything associated with him.1e5acc1c88d50b77

Seeing that Chae Beomjoon hadn’t contacted him up to now, it seemed he was trying to end his game after realizing everything was exposed. The absence of long messages or even a single missed call confirmed this.d02fedf7b8962ced

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“Asshole…”f5d9e7e47c791414

This clean break was more infuriating than the nine ex-lovers who, despite cheating, wouldn’t let go of their attachment to Haeyoon. Ahn Yewon’s words about needing willpower to kill someone came to mind. If Chae Beomjoon appeared before him, Haeyoon felt he could strangle him.e2d25bde9f159e57

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In fact, the fact that he was this angry was one of the things fueling Seo Haeyoon’s rage.d30ff7860bb30934

The past lovers couldn’t make Haeyoon angry no matter how much they acted out. His reaction to their infidelity was only one of disbelief, followed immediately by a declaration of breakup. He had never truly liked them.6f772658de833826

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But with Chae Beomjoon, b1fc2b5af6 he was genuinely angry.5bc52121cb5ebe52

Not only because he fb8fd36519 touched something that should 134d97f518 never have been touched 3704d403ce but also because, even dff05a9e65 after removing the anger, 8ae7f831d7 resentment, disappointment, and sadness d536c976d0 remained.a726a64d92ec11f9

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This time of realizing 02e6141523 how much he liked 3969d74e66 Chae Beomjoon more than 13a796f44c he thought, while getting 16b1312a6b angry, was something Haeyoon cbab38c299 truly hated.fc671b8bcfcc6e26

So annoying…d483e157c2484219

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Haeyoon jumped up 42855f5313 from his seat, 0317ecfa1b trying to throw 521d287c53 the pillow Chae e614140e76 Beomjoon used into 4a2d887c8e the trash but 8ad43833bd failed, so he 24d9caff3d tossed it in b0a44d1c21 front of the 711f264c47 entrance. He then huffed 064b38f95d for a while 83cb9eea94 before heading to ce100d6f50 the kitchen to 8cb38653d8 throw everything Chae b97fb7f6dd Beomjoon had touched 99bf6b2af1 into garbage bags.b8c86740efd1508e

This included 9bcc547cd4 the tomato 23c3aade44 marinade he b153e2cffd had left 828c4b16ce on Saturday 80b1084929 morning, the 8d1ad0953f cheese he 92a6351e2c had set ae9e38f2c3 aside for f2c979b9fb later use, f554ecdf4c a truffle 0172257288 the size 20c599cf40 of a 67d1ea1972 fist, and b83f54fd23 even the cee92dc0ed oil. Then, with a 8151d68009 vengeance, he began 84648b1f80 to clean, erasing 6502827df3 all visible traces 79b352b73a like his toothbrush, 13e80541af slippers, clothes, and 250df637cb robe.775d6924464a9e40

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The card 95335fbfb5 sent by 3e09fb4190 Chae Beomjoon, 0725455040 the deputy df2bf00c08 director, was 981a1d1c9b torn to 8f3e7eb241 shreds in 2bf7236d4c anger and 289991a6b9 then burned. The marble 4056e19e0e roses were a9d7d2e51d broken into ee389a462e pieces, and 99c64efcc7 the dried ee5f288799 bouquet and 7898613dd6 flower basket fcfa19bf52 were stripped 240789bcad of their ead35abace heads and 284ae0b355 also set c4526b1d23 on fire.ced5cb9511f9c78a

After that, he c61fb13e14 ended up with 50bbd80356 seven garbage bags cc7fbbab29 full of seasonings, af5a8d4003 food, and clothes. Among them were some a3924f9bf9 very expensive luxury brand 61b3e9847f clothes that briefly made 2d35eb120f him hesitate, but with a35b06b4c8 the determination to remove a89878fc51 Chae Beomjoon from his c152828155 life, Haeyoon shoved them 0d1f5e6766 all into the bags.65b08addb196cfa6

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If Chae Beomjoon demanded them back, Haeyoon planned to hand over his father’s card. If he told Seo Jonggil it was the cost of breaking up with a gigolo, far from being angry, he would welcome it with open arms and pay.d291e7bf5de2b535

Haeyoon, carrying 32bc8aae15 the bags c657dc6d5e tightly packed, fba3bca01b took the f570b81166 elevator down 4e44fbbf0d to the 2076fe997f basement. Arriving at b024979933 the trash 62fe2d714a disposal area b74b136e6a he had bc219778dd visited a 5f3a732e68 few times 66abd8cd35 after moving 7accb71995 in, he f4f30bfbb6 saw an 468f8e6f7b elderly security 9ac61cf92d guard sorting c6f319add0 cardboard boxes. Haeyoon bowed to him 6449bbf789 and neatly stacked his b7f4e78fb8 bags where the paid feb849a474 waste bags were piled.13ef5a6c471a07d8

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As he was about c731a57a65 to leave after organizing, 0ab71c0a5f the guard sighed, looking 700a5ae895 at the multiple trash a8393f6ba0 bags. Confused by fb44267644 his gaze, 18a019d25d Haeyoon rolled dbdd0f8668 his eyes 9acbf2a827 and asked.9795140243b7e598

“Is something wrong?”efefba93c9786e58

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“Well, food waste should be disposed of separately…”3bc3cc685b089035

“Huh? Oh…”161d466beb1ef992

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Looking around blankly, he 6b37bd8774 indeed saw signs for 74996bf6c5 separating plastic, glass, paper, 910fdea7a4 vinyl, and food waste. He seemed to 11f0648ef9 remember being told 7141ef56f6 about this when 0b81131564 he first moved f120210c9b in. Since Chae Beomjoon 0e4c7db112 started coming over, 25e7fcf845 he had forgotten e3959f7d66 because Chae Beomjoon 4f3f9b56f5 would take out 1d382f52b0 the trash, making 7f7c9105e6 Haeyoon feel like b03a9b62a9 a thoughtless resident. His face turned red.2ae233562efb0560

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve only been back from the U.S. for a short while. I’ll do it again.”39582519a5bc7678

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“I see. In America, you just throw everything into one bag, right? People who’ve just returned often get confused. I’ll take care of it. Just leave them.”b0880fb432679144

“No, I’ll do it.”abb86d9af9ba5a7a

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“No, I’ll do it.”dac769c458baeafa

Feeling like the mention of being from the U.S. was some kind of excuse, Haeyoon couldn’t just stand by while the guard, who was old enough to be his father, took over his trash sorting. In the end, Haeyoon awkwardly helped him sort.3fff1091f8364f53

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“Looks like you’re moving out again.”1edce44e03ff42bd

“…No. It’s just clearing out some relics.”42a77160ede28f80

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“Oh my, I see. I’m sorry.”cb59348ea8a5684b

“It’s okay. It’s a mutual benefit.”753980d21228cc0f

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Since neither 50812e5968 of them fa7845f2cf landed a cf375edd3c single punch, 341b608e35 it was fba8fe03d1 only right 6328c2f7e3 to call 4bb18cb8e3 it a 2dc0fa8930 mutual benefit.397be7140a7ddd24

The things Haeyoon had bf820763ea shoved into the envelope ac66c1ac59 in anger were a 87a9817a57 jumbled mess inside. With a face full b18762824b of shame, Haeyoon sorted 8201789656 all the trash back 4f4fddd3e3 into place.ced9f00d759bd004

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“Teacher, thank you for your help.”8907625b81a11a4a

“Oh my, not at all. Please take care next time.”8961471b88b56961

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Haeyoon bowed once 2e722ae808 more to the 02cf2a16fa security guard who 665f7e76b0 was laughing and 39fa31b801 greeting him, then f8dd9d9517 took the elevator 5f29810828 back home. As he entered 7e2919fbec his somehow empty-feeling af5e7d9e41 home, he felt e48d0da215 an odd, boiling 1759e6da82 anger inside.f27449f51d42cbb8

With a flick 923200de84 of his head, da3eda9afe he checked his 1c2860aa9f phone which he 738801da47 had tossed on d373a94155 the table earlier. Even after not 982d574239 checking for 30 c87dee2651 minutes, there were 14ae9f212e no new messages.f852d7c4129a9056

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He had already decided e1fdfde89f to ignore any messages.caf8e3b75cbefce2

He wasn’t going to answer any calls.4adf5f81f6957b26

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Yet, seeing no contact even though he hadn’t blocked anyone made him angry, thinking perhaps she had already gone to meet another man. This thought made his stomach churn with rage.34cf0c71a51dc3c0

“Damn bastard…”657e56fb78be4d12

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Another harsh ed5ab4bb8b curse escaped 16d85a7bcd his lips. Haeyoon grabbed c60d8e3834 his phone, f4a4b1c00b which had 9c7ef20947 no notifications, 621a13d1af and threw a808f21ac4 it. It slid across e95cd44305 the floor and 2361a887bc came to a 0db558f192 stop after hitting 26450b757a the leg of 768ca380f5 a chair under b91b180cb6 the practice stage.5f2d2cb0c8b238e7

Seeing the green ccd67e5a21 velvet sheet, he fc8aecac9e recalled what he 244d98cbd4 had done with bed414a41e Chae Beomjoon on d6e714feae that chair and 1bf76abc5b what they did e47bdee0f6 on the piano d5c5ec18e5 above the stage. With clenched ff2f5c3d8c teeth, Haeyoon 064b5a22d1 looked around f2d04a5950 the house, 89f149428b then picked 15d68df2a1 up the e92ca282f4 phone from da8d7752f8 the floor 76371ec0db with an 51404d7d93 irritated sigh.a33290a701059f55

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He immediately called 40d0dcc06d his father.e99de2507710513b

“Dad, I want to remodel the house.”1fd79e1633bb482b

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The salary of a Korean symphony orchestra was incredibly low. It was a wonder how all the musicians managed not to starve. Even in New York, the orchestra salary was not enough to live on, so he had used Seo Jonggil’s card, but here, even pocket money was hard to come by with such a low annual wage. Saving up for a year wouldn’t even buy him the bow he wanted.02f6ee54927ec5e6

Thus, in Korea, his 1226e7d34d entire life depended on 5347a60c94 his father, Seo Jonggil, 146aee8d40 so asking him for e359d6c44f a remodel was only 860728a93c natural.555aabb84ebf21c3

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— Remodeling? The house you’re living in now? What’s not to your liking? Okay, we’ll do a thorough soundproofing this time. Wait, son. Your dad will look into it and call you back.cf06dc59949d8c02

He wanted to erase d3c2397bf5 everything that reminded him 9aa2a35875 of Chae Beomjoon. However, since there was b35227ad56 still time left on 6bc0dc73a4 his contract with the 6b6d95c94c symphony, he planned to b7579f53de grit his teeth and 2c0a05e5c8 endure until then.15b0ed6fe435b354

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But…462218664035ee76

He really wanted to give up his spot in the piano quintet with Jin Suryeon to someone else. He felt that place was not for him anymore. Knowing the truth, he couldn’t bear it.bea0e3418d972527

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Haeyoon packed his belongings into a suitcase he had left in one corner of his dressing room. He planned to stay at his father’s countryside house for a while, wanting to remove all traces of Chae Beomjoon from his home before he could bear to stay there again. Though it was a bit old, it was far from neighbors, so there was no need to worry about soundproofing, and he could play music freely.3384b410accc9bb0

“Dad, I’ll move my stuff to your house now.”7e27797390a23cf2

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Good, well thought. I’ll cook something nice for dinner, so have some snacks and wait, okay?4ab838eec1267ca5

While Seo Jonggil was at work, Haeyoon moved his belongings to his father’s house, then returned to his own to fetch his double bass one last time. He had already asked to dispose of everything else, so when he returned after the remodeling, there would be no trace of Chae Beomjoon left.a5618be7a885ba4c

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Lucky they didn’t have sex in front of the living room window. Otherwise, he would have had to move just to give up that view. Thinking this, Haeyoon closed the door with irritation. From waking up alone in bed that morning to moving out, everything had happened swiftly.f83486a24355443b

After moving, Haeyoon called b367815c87 the conductor. The phone rang for 17eb5f29ed a while before connecting.4f20019e54ebc811

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— Yes, this 9938d647f1 is Kim Geonwoo.dc27a7c01f25414c

“Teacher, hello. This is double bass Seo Haeyoon. I’m sorry for calling while you’re resting. Could we talk briefly?”db2f23f53bf0a225

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— Yes, it’s fine. What’s the matter?60338048e123613b

“I wanted to talk about the piano quintet. If possible, I’d like to leave the quintet.”36a9ded99c35241b

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The conductor seemed to sense something from Haeyoon’s serious tone and was silent for a moment before suggesting they meet face-to-face.f5a5f762af6ec23f

— Shouldn’t we talk about that in person? I’m at school now, and I can’t have a long call. Could you come over here? It’s Maestro Hall, Room 43 on the first floor at Sacheon International University.2c996f67eeae5cee

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“Oh, okay. I’ll be there soon since it’s nearby.”82ca7e23018fcee3

Sacheon International University was right across from Jungnangcheon, leading to the Han River, very close to Haeyoon’s house. He remembered passing by it a few times as he hung up and drove to the university. He arrived at the parking lot in less than 15 minutes when he received a text just as he was about to get out of the car.7b4ab8d3366de4bd

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Conductor Kim Geonwoo3688c6ef85c3db08

If you d3789c771e have your 6b0b0e2524 instrument, please c54aa6eb36 bring it c0ade707a1 up. Please.b234e842c1cada32

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Why would he need a double bass? It felt oddly suspicious, but since the conductor had always been kind to him, he couldn’t ignore it. With a somber expression, Haeyoon took the soft case from the trunk and slung it over his back. As he got into the elevator, he was swept away by students getting off, ending up on the basement floor instead.4221af28668baf7a

Just as 91aa54502b he was 4eb2fdb6e0 about to 735d7904a9 catch the 46d0d35040 elevator again, 7f652c11b0 he heard f85cfd4ab1 faint sounds ebbb343f0d of instruments. Turning his head, 26e8ce9884 he saw a 760ed9e33c practice room corridor 768af57838 to his left. Noticing another door ab120835c2 at the opposite 1d962e8eaf end, likely leading f3e929e609 to stairs or 73b9d5961b another elevator to 77463197a6 the first floor, 29a1a9b37d Haeyoon decided to f5ffa90999 go through the 1ca673f77c corridor instead of db025aa0e9 waiting for the 6e1154cc35 elevator.3deeedeced3b5f8e

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Violins, violas, cellos, aa77340f9b double basses. The sound of a0dcc18ae8 students diligently playing e5287df39f their bows could b9aa7836f5 be heard from 5014826965 the practice rooms 9ccdb9c9e6 lining both sides. The cacophony 1a39b11e6d of melodies ee635ba3e5 felt like a792bc83ee a parade 25cf3e0bfe composed by 8618eb13da an unknown 9bae7ca966 composer. Overwhelmed by childhood d62e6f08d4 memories, Haeyoon stood 59f67d814e still, his heart 76c4efee14 heavy.11ca9fd1ca78848d

At ten years old, Haeyoon, having decided to learn the double bass, moved to a small house near St. John’s University in Queens, New York. As soon as he unpacked, Haeyoon, with his manager assigned by the study abroad consultant, began attending interviews at various junior music schools.07cc6689397913a6

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Switching from a few 442e15a693 years of cello to 69cb2448ce double bass made it c8ae700848 difficult for him to 148da51432 outperform kids who had 8d7575072b started earlier. After failing all fed4b033f3 the auditions at eac8ab8161 nearby music schools, 1bcfdae9a8 Haeyoon decided to 2a5bdfdabc take private lessons 9e7820b679 for a year 5f6a4c05f3 and try again 01b1e4a0b4 the next year.fd0bec7d32223ffa

But no matter how much money was offered, no professors wanted to take on a child who had just started the double bass and didn’t even speak the language well. The professors there were busy with their own students.91dd5d0250441093

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So, Haeyoon ended up taking lessons from a Korean senior who had won numerous competitions at Manhattan School of Music. Under her guidance, Haeyoon’s skills improved rapidly. He regretted learning violin and cello to play duets with his mother when he found how well the double bass suited him.f686ac695cc6f9bb

At eleven, Haeyoon reapplied to the junior music school and passed with confidence. The professors were astonished at his improvement in just one year. Hence, from the start, Haeyoon mistakenly thought he had inherited his mother’s immense talent.62d292fbe8ca3d1b

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During his teens at 0c464a02df music school, Seo Haeyoon 7920683c53 was a diligent student ff39f8599b overflowing with confidence, practicing 67168d2e22 hard to become like 8db1d6abfb his mother. He would be the afcb8d2105 first to arrive and c48625f858 the last to leave 3508c7c89a the practice room, often e75f0eedb5 staying until the guard 32b1c83aa0 locked up. It was always Haeyoon d82402028b who turned off the f91c7394b5 lights in the practice d458a5295d room corridor at night.f99d3aa39dacde27

The strings 576b40cd00 of the ed7257e563 double bass 7662435e0c were very 0442cb0d71 thick. To keep the pitch 12487a2103 from changing, he had 68fd825f56 to press down hard 45f4981d73 with his fingertips, which 474aa91cbe made accurate pitch harder 1ee63e07c8 compared to other string 47d7866573 instruments. His fingertips would always 769be72c29 swell red after practice, b4da59aaa1 and it was like 8c6c0e318d that until calluses formed 3f9af11eab and he lost feeling 58cc40bbba in his fingertips.b28493aeefb84b7b

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Sometimes, when he stayed up all night practicing with the professor’s permission before a test, he would see the strings dyed red by the morning sun through the window. Then, fearing a scolding from his teacher, he would quickly clean up the blood, apply ointment, bandage his fingers, nap until his lesson, and then, unable to resist the urge, adjust his instrument with a sleepy face.bcdd8e856e42119f

The old wooden floor. The music school’s ancient building, where it felt like the space vibrated every time the double bass made a sound. The wax smell that intensified after weekends, the sounds of friends practicing without any soundproofing at all. All of it seems so distant now.600b017313c30c02

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At that time, Haeyoon 61131241dc was someone who was 35d20eb491 inexplicable without passion. But that 1bb89a5210 passion was 413bc89c41 completely extinguished 70f4ac39b8 after participating 742568d086 in three f89b1e90f2 competitions as a2f0d0527f an adult.2023f8b039591f33

In the 910bf51698 first competition, b28782ee16 Seo Haeyoon 538a6a23f1 questioned the ac838b0ab3 competence of 9f26f2ad56 the judges. In the second, Seo 7f009fe789 Haeyoon began to doubt bb2cbd517d himself. And in the last 20b76de1f9 competition, where he left ce591a29cc the venue even faster 0d0a00366b than the previous two, 2d0149b492 Haeyoon had to admit 6d83f5c560 that his talent was 6cfa9e3386 negligible. From then 70de6f9d32 on, his d77c06b3ec heart was 672da0d8ef left with 07b4778c82 only obsession 06a2ad8e96 instead of 3958037c00 passion.c1ab2b759f12f930

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Afterward, he played for seven years out of spite, out of inertia. Haeyoon’s orchestra life was the result of habitual unrequited love. However, it was when he learned he would be performing with the pianist Jin Suryeon that Haeyoon’s passion reignited.f8d8315767496af4

Jin Suryeon was someone who gave an astonishing performance. Initially, Haeyoon felt it was an undeserved honor and thought it wasn’t a place for him.58142695b36ea783

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But under Chae Beomjoon’s encouragement, Haeyoon gradually came to believe he might be worthy of such an opportunity. Maybe there could be a chance for him too. Maybe there was a flower that only bloomed after winter for him. With these thoughts, Haeyoon was able to burn through all the passion he thought had vanished to prepare for a mini concert.0372b877d193f30d

But it wasn’t so.0732975db3897f66

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There were no 4cb44670a6 more seeds of 5911a27459 flowers left for d974862faa Haeyoon to bloom. What had grown inside 531400c997 him was merely an 55881c8be2 artificial flower, devoid of aee6fc219d scent, substituted by someone 7ec3472a02 else.e7073447c36cb3bb

“…Haah.”6cf32c61005603e5

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Thinking of ce4da33308 Chae Beomjoon, fe8790fbfb another sigh f3dd950311 escaped him. He was e50bb7907e angry, frustrated, af87eed419 upset, and 959abe8522 his heart 15f3b8f50b ached. With his lips tightly e3ee7ad90e pressed together, Haeyoon glared 81c71b36db at the floor as 20e847e2e9 he passed through the c5cf252dab corridor. Ignoring the passionate practice bcf068891d sounds of students that c4738b2a36 reminded him of past daa784fbd3 memories, he climbed the fd05bf8b89 stairs to the first 076979c6d4 floor.8e72d9f0bea3892a

Maestro Hall, Room 43 on the first floor. It was a small conductor’s lecture room with a piano. Peeking through the window on the door, he saw Conductor Kim Geonwoo and a man who looked to be in his late twenties in conversation. Judging by the way he moved his hands between pressing the keys, he seemed either a conducting or piano major.a5a37d7864db7344

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Watching them, Haeyoon waited bdf11acc21 for their conversation to 5899238d86 end, but it seemed ae6d9ab3e1 like it would go fb69228aad on forever. Eventually, Haeyoon, 77090f90fd hesitating, knocked d740e5a808 on the 34fc1c3f37 door. At the invitation ced96cc133 to enter, he cdb219b90d carefully pushed the 31d2be1841 door open, and 61b379382a both inside turned 2bcadcee67 their attention to 503aaed703 him.c4455a08e34a79bd

“Hello.”76a103197de2ada9

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“Teacher Seo, thank you for coming. Over here…”f89d3060cef3b277

“Hello!”70af813f40565718

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As Kim Geonwoo called a8b309b15f Haeyoon to the small ec780603e2 stage, the man stood 5ebd97258d up and greeted Haeyoon. Haeyoon bowed in return 2e07042e83 and approached the conductor. Setting his double 57ef43d804 bass against a 88605e6623 chair on the b060a9498c stage, Kim Geonwoo 0ec500c764 sent the man e5fc12e571 out for a 3edb7fd4ca moment.10b7d27c734b8656

“Professor. I’ll go out and get some coffee.”f319f7e5461ba74b

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With a nod abe8924d65 from Kim Geonwoo, e457ad9d77 the man left, 3ea23408e1 leaving them alone. However, instead of speaking, ae2bb6bd11 the conductor sat on 9e821f25ea the piano bench. He then lifted e934e82445 the keyboard cover 54f3e81ecc and looked up 12377eb92c at Haeyoon, asking:9b7e4b2547d385f7

“I heard part of it earlier, but why exactly have you come?”553bd5a79428b4db

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“Oh, well…”5c2c5d7a8243a36e

From the 7fc7a486e2 moment he 44951f5fc0 heard he 49dfdde79c would perform fc792588d9 with Jin 5c6f1ed4c7 Suryeon, Haeyoon 8cd717b645 had been ee7343b559 eagerly looking d67bccb529 forward to 809237b7d3 it. He had a37574c402 longed to 6b1f1def52 share a 03b3869639 stage with 5ccbe4efd1 Jin Suryeon, 860a2d2bb6 but now, 6f9e0a1c43 saying he df48a1d3ca wanted to e69983bbba give up 20385775e6 that chance c53dee5203 with his 9fc0c2baa3 own mouth 8bd2e6e30e was not 05f5339ee4 easy.9a86d7ef25cdaf72

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But it wasn’t a place that suited his capabilities. There must be someone more fitting. With this determination, Haeyoon steeled himself and conveyed his intention to the conductor.217a322e97ccdf59

“I called to say I want to withdraw from the piano quintet.”851d8d11b7f24e56

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Even though he efdc377479 had said this bae78ab716 over the phone 953cfebe4a earlier, the conductor b122c87290 was not surprised. He just nodded, understanding 24eca9a588 his intention, and asked 1535a0b9a3 for the reason.f33c04b97e47c235

“I don’t think Teacher Seo is someone without a sense of responsibility. With the performance less than a month away and practice going well, why would you want to withdraw?”1cf61e37afecd9bb

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“……”f21970043a1b1ddb

“If there isn’t a compelling reason for you to stop, as the director, I’d like to keep the members as they are.”4637231d3ff1fc91

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In front of the calm-speaking conductor, Haeyoon couldn’t bring himself to speak. He wanted to say that the man he was seeing had placed him there, that he didn’t want to perform like this, to find someone better than him, to put someone the conductor had originally thought of in his place. But it was extremely difficult to say these things.f325687ce437fb60

How easy could it be to admit one’s own lack of qualification? Especially when he had to acknowledge the unpalatable truth that he had taken someone else’s opportunity. Haeyoon’s face reddened, and the conductor, without a word, stretched his lips. As he quietly touched the piano, he suddenly asked Haeyoon:180491e472904ad6

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“Is there a situation that’s hard to talk about?”c4d07821a522ee57

“…Yes.”e4f6ea87ba71c027

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At this point, Haeyoon hoped the conductor would catch on, but whether he was feigning ignorance or genuinely didn’t know, he didn’t acknowledge it. As Haeyoon nodded with difficulty, the conductor adjusted his glasses and stared at him intently. After a long silence, he suddenly placed his hand on the piano keys.02dfef65ed667207

Ding. The clear sound of 16342c46cb an E note filled fad0207faf the lecture room.09d1e5c256841d70

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Then G, and e9a68e22a2 D.c1e2ff02ba0b1b7d

“I listened to the performance file you submitted when you joined after the Halloween concert. Erik Satie’s ‘Je te veux.’ Can you play it?”c4c38a112b447c4c

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“Eh?”eee4d03f76a54f25

“Tune your instrument.”1afbdd991d517ce7

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With the conductor’s smile and command, Haeyoon couldn’t argue. He was here to say he wanted to quit the performance, and here he was, in this situation, but the conductor’s firm look as he glanced down at the keys left Haeyoon no choice but to open his case.56fe38cad833b2af

He took out 1cdf35155c his double bass, de72521894 checked that the 9d9ca6c707 bow had enough 84b284c366 rosin, then leaned 0ee04981d5 the instrument against 2386bda3b3 himself to start f81621c03a tuning. The conductor, c0b7921283 accustomed to 34dc26689a Haeyoon tuning 717cb4b4f3 alone during 611688661e quintet rehearsals, 016dcda2d1 waited silently b41d8ef87b until Haeyoon, e9d52c0098 giving him aa7ba2afa3 a look, 9a73e260b6 lowered his d3a34645bf bow, and 3e3a433147 then they f80cf0acd7 began to 8be30e68da play together.edd531d7b3371947

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It was Erik Satie’s “Je te veux.”39e062f7ef85bc81

A lullaby-like melody spread out. The low chords of the double bass, perfectly tuned to the piano’s melody, enveloped the room in a cozy sound, soothing enough to make even those asleep dream anew. Haeyoon played his bow to match the conductor’s slow tempo.895f92c519ff92b4

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“…Nice. Though it’s not something a conductor should say, if you had gone to the city orchestra, you could have had an even better opportunity. I’m the one who feels the loss.”b6127faf02c9365f

He had heard this before, but unlike then, when it made his heart swell with pride, now the conductor’s words didn’t resonate. He probably knew everything too. It felt like he was just saying it to appease his superior.81b48c8f79c76b27

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When Haeyoon gave eb10ec811a an awkward smile, 40cd864d8f the conductor stood dbf973ccc6 up from the d11793abda piano and approached. Watching Haeyoon tidy up f51f8b5f3d his double bass, he a3ea0880b4 said:0c01a6183026dfa8

“If you can’t give me a convincing reason, I have no intention of removing you from the performance. When I was forming the members upon Director Kim’s request, I didn’t initially consider you…”f13bb97221e2e9c7

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The implication that someone had recommended him made Haeyoon’s stomach churn. He bit his lip, waiting for the next words.4a9a60fdb1c9f5a8

“But now, I don’t think there’s a better option. Your playing complements Pianist Jin Suryeon’s well. Teacher Jin will join the rehearsals from next week, and once you play together, you’ll regret having said what you did today.”49176212050f044e

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With that, the conductor gave a light laugh. Would it really be so? Seo Haeyoon thought it definitely wouldn’t.a6b333c01d3b469b

In any case, saying there was no better option was as good as saying he could not remove Seo Haeyoon from the piano quintet under any circumstances. Was this Chae Beomjoon’s intention? While anger seethed within him, he also felt an urge to nod immediately, feeling so frustrated he could die. His desire to play with Jin Suryeon, even just once, remained unquenched.a9188a4e9d22fc09

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“Then we’ll act as if you never had this conversation. Is that okay?”384c96edf9e008d3

“…Yes. I’m sorry.”001fb4b2621516db

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“There’s nothing to apologize for to me. I don’t know what’s going on, but if there’s a problem, resolve it well, and you’re doing well enough in the quintet now, so don’t feel burdened.”151b425141c746ae

Haeyoon couldn’t respond to the conductor’s encouraging words. He just bowed his head in gratitude, shouldered his double bass, and walked out.8e31c4b0f9f70872

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It was the moment he most wanted to give up, but he couldn’t keep insisting on quitting in front of the stern conductor. As he said, less than a month was left until the performance.ff86d90ed6ee1812

Quitting here and leaving everything to others would be extremely irresponsible. He had already taken up the position without the skill, and now he couldn’t commit such an irresponsible act. Haeyoon sighed and closed the door. As he headed back to the parking lot, massaging his troubled head, someone reached out from beside the entrance.93b97fa9e54dc269

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“Ah, um…”665de2faca0bd5dc

Startled, he eb3cacb9a6 turned around 18f14dfcaf to see 98e61665be the man d58865e72e who was de0d18de25 with the 26a312875e conductor earlier 8a9134bcbb holding out e510c402c6 a coffee. He seemed out of 167e03f3fc breath as if he 00de8555a7 had run to catch 6483afa7fd up, and when Haeyoon 6b721f0bc2 took the coffee out 9d4ba2b4e5 of pity, their eyes a402f7b894 met. And Haeyoon 1bc6bc07e6 immediately knew. This man was 1b25c962d4 from here, and 5c93c03e20 he recognized him 71febfbfbf too.354c33085ce9c06a

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If it had been 0bd5df97ed a few months ago, 15cca962c7 he would have ignored 26e4cf6f93 that gaze and passed ad4f5c3a66 by, but now, he 1552f37669 wanted to acknowledge it ee5812809a out of sheer stubbornness. As Haeyoon nodded slightly c6a1ad1aeb while lifting his eyes, c61e15e174 the man blushed and a710afff9a stammered.5370f5b281c6302f

“I, I’m Nam Woowon, a senior studying piano and conducting under the professor. I heard you playing outside, and it was so magnificent… I’m planning a small concert next year, and maybe…”3410ab1fb088b5fb

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“Give me your number.”e21329d6d64240a3

The concert was clearly an excuse. He probably just wanted to spend the night with him. He was used to receiving such looks. Instead of listening to his full pitch, Haeyoon took his awkwardly offered phone and entered his contact information. He said, “I’ll contact you when I have time,” and quickly disappeared. The man bowed in farewell behind him.c31922507da32b19

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“Goodbye! I’ll contact you later…!”f1a236b41e1eb177

Listening to his a1d6dbd242 voice, Haeyoon recalled 477c582193 that before meeting 8ad549cecb Chae Beomjoon, he 7f22586684 had spent many 467587b199 nights with countless b39fb7dd67 men. It seemed like ages b519d5a3b2 ago, but looking back, c07ef2e32b it was only four 0ff29c9d7d months ago.8f460a8d8fc50d9e

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That meant the time he had liked Chae Beomjoon was even shorter. It was nothing special. With a sneer, he took a step. Back at his car, Haeyoon opened the trunk to store his instrument first, then got into the driver’s seat and pulled out his phone.e0e36365a5f29f6d

There was a message from Nam Woowon. He casually saved his number and then stared at Chae Beomjoon’s number, which had no missed calls. With difficulty, he moved his fingers.6c1b8dee4d096a04

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Blocked number.d5a7e829e05366ed

Seeing that message, he 8f6c4c1505 went into the messenger, 2761f6baa2 hid the chat room e21f459f94 full of countless messages, 602f28c748 and finally blocked his 638e457c3a profile. He intended 73b3e811a8 not to 82fecf6293 answer even 63d4b3d775 if he 0a458f1174 contacted him a4bac84c96 late.2a8fdf4a35fbd608

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Really, it c1b063ea1b was over.685e961adefb267e

…The end.c9b06725ab39ddc9

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The question 7be5d93d57 of what ebd38ecb8d he would 9246678446 do if a4e73d3cb2 he were 79947b00d1 the assistant 044c758252 director came 741dc7305a to his fb4982c920 mind again. He answered d5fb20b2d0 that it 79a9ff2c79 was all a41f53d080 over, and b4e311b354 now it 236ca0f48a had come ad3275ff32 true, but 3375fde349 why did e7890b812f he feel ce526383ab so empty?5de3da5dfaa0d8cb

Feeling strangely down, 2310d59add Haeyoon started the 49846c08d0 car while cursing. He was really 3eaf2cf318 a bad guy.f77bb689677dc786

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