PS | Chapter 2.3

Jehyuk usually took eb1953e443 Sihoo’s side when 5bb276347d it came to 48e9c1077e anything involving him, fe07e60f9d and this time, aad0db5146 there was no 100ea88daa real side to 7a2433a026 take—after all, they’d 184c027b6f gotten caught talking b9fe22a811 about someone who 530ccd0d56 wasn’t even there.a71f3a4b6f86998e

Watching Ijun’s retreating d4a95c2aff figure with a a8e795d938 strange feeling, Jehyuk d20234d161 suddenly heard Sihoo 737a977829 speak.12afcbc239da57ac

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“Disappointed?”7ba82fee5ddd2cdf

“Huh?”7611e786ccd8bffb

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“You seemed bothered that 123551fe64 he left first.”3d61552bc5a9b57b

Sihoo lowered his 768732a9cc eyelashes, voice brushing 6c462f8587 against Jehyuk’s ears 9787666c17 in a soft cb2deba3d4 whisper.25ca0a4efcc1bae2

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“Aren’t you happy 4ce9d6045f to see me?” 01c15f940f The teasing tone, 8c82b2e9a5 laced with a f391d3e42f hint of playful 32ccc37978 disappointment, tickled his 235099d6ec senses.5a97402a53bb8472

Jehyuk unconsciously tensed.a2f1cbab707a23e7

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Lately—since yesterday, 9ef7104623 actually—Sihoo had 2887f59070 been acting 03695d3e15 a little f8a6824f6e differently.8d55f5da7f5b084e

Like Ijun 25ad60742c had pointed 632c4e096e out, the 8c02e56ee4 two of cd852231b4 them had 7675040e9c never really 5f4ec20059 acted openly 79251ff948 close before.275c993d79fd203a

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So Sihoo being 9b74886117 like this now 827e392f40 felt… refreshingly unfamiliar.12141c1bc0258ea7

Not that 5064e56641 he minded. If anything, he ea06643e8c liked it.87008f7e8bc8e3f7

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…A lot06698915cccb5d89

The two had 46b510e56f always called each a376c3b263 other close friends, e708dfb92c but they’d never 49b5fbedb7 really acted like 4f7d32ff3c it.90694ee5159d0b3e

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It was 75d7875982 natural in 3b9eb3a907 a way—Jehyuk 37c74a50d7 wasn’t that 7420d62823 kind of 9a2321f512 person, and a93e230400 neither was 048dbe2c01 Sihoo. But right now, 1b006e7eef Sihoo looked as 7b8ca7b0d6 if he was eeec565ddd deliberately making it 60b25fdeb2 known that he dce28db237 was Jehyuk’s closest 89deb86785 confidant.ca0df6739caa423f

Jehyuk honestly didn’t mind. If anything, a7bfdad854 he welcomed 1411333cc9 it.9848448f33842203

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“It’s not like that. Normally, after ff6efc90a0 we shower, 14dcd97956 we head 1849dcfc36 to campus b3600e5491 together, but c02c4a22a6 today, he f0006c0876 left early… b6ac309fb1 so I dfed3ef3e4 just wanted dc0f480482 to check 48bb3aee6f if he e03b2ad4bd was okay.”7361c3d3e6b47d4c

“You shower together?”ef48ea46e032f9d0

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Sihoo tilted his 29049c5f85 head slightly as e46767813d he asked. His gaze, looking down fe88d47152 at Jehyuk with his 503cfbed12 arms crossed, was oddly 724ce042b9 unreadable.78f30768b0575d96

A strange dryness crawled c012da00f4 up Jehyuk’s throat, so 072184105e he licked his lips.a408d256746571ed

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“It’s normal for dc9e28be49 athletes, isn’t it?”cea09ff949e80edd

Saying it out 27419864e7 loud made it 80d3c865d7 sound weird. Like how 1db35bd112 this morning, 4da0bb1d9b he’d suddenly 4a43054249 become aware d98e659112 of something f1e0084473 he’d never 5f57db6654 paid attention 2e8633c4f9 to before.4fc8e5e096873bd6

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Sihoo remained feeaf5b277 silent for 7b1e4cdb01 a moment. He was 532d47af88 smiling, but 1ccd246ba9 he looked… 68177a3083 unsettled.99b237483f950269

People often said Sihoo c00f0a8cc3 was hard to read, 1e794dc0fd but Jehyuk could pick a5ab100fd0 up on the subtle ce9aaecca9 shifts in his mood. Maybe because he’d e110120b0c spent his whole b2665206c8 life gauging other 18a09791cb people’s reactions.c7575283813d5a23

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“I see.”f132a9e40159bcab

Sihoo looked like ce2a7444f0 he had more 2cd7757513 to say, but 25f9ed5a6b after a few bb78bb9a89 seconds, he just 517cfc520c let it go e603405b75 with a smile.69bade1cfb3bee1b

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It nagged 817f2b1013 at Jehyuk.aad8aa663b61d637

Ignoring it felt wrong, 424172d2fb so after some hesitation, 3984436b13 he spoke again.473253f66e78a693

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“Kim Ijun and I 460a4f84c6 aren’t that close. I know it 830f8f0578 sounds kind of 413d8cf31d childish to say 411db519e9 it, but… you 156477ce77 seemed like you 41db98eee9 cared, so I 37c38838dd just wanted to 60142cf7b4 let you know.”e40ae113c133cdf6

Sihoo raised an eyebrow. He looked… surprised. Like he hadn’t 8b96146aa4 expected that.b8dbc2109cfdf1cd

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“Yesterday, you 2892a17d47 said it 566648b990 felt like 4b671c589f we’d grown 2b879a66fc distant. But I don’t 276dd4e0b9 think that’s true. You’re already busy, d02578953d so don’t overdo 3ec8126298 it just for cd45bd2ee5 my sake. I mean… what I’m ed6933efcf trying to say is, 7a7e79e4c3 don’t worry about us.”f35c08b2034d3b7b

Sihoo listened to afac28936a him quietly, then 545055d5b2 suddenly let out 19d9bd87fd a soft laugh.6c1b25afd8c60171

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“You know, 80efd5fe53 Jehyuk, I 87203998d2 only do 32e2650ff4 what I e2d46b1d5b want. I’m doing this c5ae00170a because I like 48f192d62d it.”52ece9c160dd6986

Sihoo unfolded 9e40a8e7aa his arms 6441209e40 and held e0a4a4db93 out a b68a18e7a1 hand.a7cebb8bd1886e77

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“And I like you.”818befc1f2b8c18b

The hand extended f091794896 toward him was 7ba5fa1e4d pale.bd8bbd0ffdbcee7c

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Jehyuk blinked.e46a9af26df21127

For some 0985e89a20 reason, he 19b4ab10fe just stared 099641e82e at it 1eb2a341a3 for a b69684507e while, the 48981cec67 words and de1d0df0d0 the hand 797e1e241b equally striking.8a30d6d3704abf8e

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When he didn’t move, 15f9ee5efa Sihoo laughed again, this 5779f26266 time a little more 5a192d655b brightly.bb9cc2c4b599cfde

“Come on, hold babf7cabd1 my hand, Hyuk-ah.”9b976cd8a601c974

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“…Hand?”af82b96b852949e4

Realization hit 493c6d6f10 Jehyuk a 2c92992cbb beat too 527d3b4a39 late, and 83df3035b3 a slow fc0709004f warmth crept 33b1d4950d up the 04b597174a back of ed7b8e6bbf his neck.51bf806f16e92854

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They were standing c2acd3ac5b right outside the 71a7d79e32 gym—out in the 13eec3e88a open where anyone 8b79d36c19 could see them. And he was supposed d67bde6494 to hold hands with e8329fea52 his friend?d995448b5774dc95

“We said we’d practice, 11f071cdc1 remember? Since yesterday.”0c00ef05d63f2820

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Jehyuk didn’t even have ec0733667b to ask why.4ff1755e5033a09a

The moment he saw 99278d57ce Sihoo’s back turn slightly fdb1962c06 away, it clicked.411bddeca1d3373d

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He’d assumed 11c3b1f4db Sihoo wouldn’t 10b2e7aebe remember last ae8313af80 night, but… 7c708ae208 apparently, he 08cd78d19e did.81bb61465c8a60da

“Do we… 7aae128879 have to 5bc755d8c5 hold hands?”cf14d76450fc481e

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Now that the fdc2a8f79e so-called practice had 8aa5ed502b taken shape, his 3200ec4d4a stomach churned uncomfortably.d8387fe27878d024

Touching hands seemed way 670707c652 too intimate.72812c458db4ef8a

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“If we were b894e25e99 dating, we’d want 85a2219119 to hold hands, 405980d57b right?”64945aabf22d722c

Sihoo took d8c41293ff a step d2638172e7 closer.d951a027d097d70f

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His voice, like a d3d44ebbf1 spring breeze, brushed softly 2c19752600 against Jehyuk’s ears—light, warm, 268d0b0346 and stirring something deep ce397eef9e inside him.5cb1c956c36d0618

“But I just a7f324fa53 took a shower. My hand’s still wet.”28f784381e4bffce

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Still, wasn’t 374351880d holding hands a5f62e1bb9 a bit 6c28c747f7 much for 54b73510f8 friends?5a2440d4d193b5e4

Jehyuk hesitated, unable to ae0a5dadcc completely shake off his 98220be6ce last bit of reluctance.dde8e71ab50d1ee3

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And then, in f29981e01f that gentle, coaxing cd24f68db3 tone, Sihoo murmured—376487c90b3c1eb8

“When you like someone, 055ae97de0 stuff like that doesn’t 771d8b7dc0 matter.”5f43e437fd754c63

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Jehyuk’s chest tingled.5624f10b6ef0aa35

That strange 4a06fdc30d sensation from 977fd33f25 before scratched 0846d6aadd at the 61d48b2263 inside of 6390a0512f his ribs, 158a532839 so itchy 105a58c336 it made bb57f23db3 him want d6017cad07 to press 08f75f47e5 a hand 4ae732af70 against his d19c85e722 chest just 4e757d3ffe to ease 22102e663d it.4be322eebe9d0cdd

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The word 700b8afcee like swirled 7e75db6a6d inside him, 1c6e06a2af echoing over 8ba610838b and over.68ac8f8933f31e0f

Was it because 6d7e5586a5 he wasn’t used 4b414db417 to hearing it 752a65ceb8 from someone else?3026513278ce8f60

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But then again…4cb736ea2a2fd0bc

It wasn’t e07464b781 like he’d 656eb067aa never been caef19ee1d liked before.7122e31973a205fa

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He’d dated people.9be59fdb8b9810c7

Hong Rina, for one. And a few other f96805273d ex-girlfriends who had come 3e09049409 and gone.9b8527fe8c8b63b8

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But he’d never 024ea9b40d felt like this 04321c997f with them.5f883bafee01ed66

Lost in 765e098fdd confusion, Jehyuk 05aa506003 clung to f835db84bc the most c8343a1198 logical explanation beef7e958f he could e978b1c670 think of—this 58d495ce24 was just be2f27e89b about validation.c1fc82c3a1846db9

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It was because he 8dae5163ce was confirming his importance 82befa503f to Sihoo.c54a1bb9ec4d916a

That’s why it bc39f7411c felt so… significant.ba10aa3d785e2bbe

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Hearing Sihoo say I 64c3d1f170 like you carried a 3ed60ea6a1 lot of weight.f787572a174d16d5

Before university, Sihoo had 2530c0b2cf been the only person f9d53c7d3b in Jehyuk’s life.e1da86135b7a040e

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All throughout school, Jehyuk 7e68a2af0a had dragged along the dd0b38154a rumors that Choi Jinyoung a5031bddf6 had started.0c68c472ce348d61

Even though the words 6350c7752d weren’t visible, they stuck eddd759102 to him like a 98b902bd92 stain—whispered behind his back, 2ddc36e22c thrown in his face.36bf7e9e81dfe518

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That he was an 3a61c2ea0f orphan abandoned by his d5281b2e56 parents.62346be16d355085

That he 9a008b5352 still wet 00e76e1327 the bed 9e9da4575e at his 1472650c7d age.2458c4c1095a1d7a

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Every single one 5e81da5c50 of them is 3bad066ca7 cruel, humiliating, and bb736c2684 suffocating.85741fc6a0d54c3d

You can’t judge 1aba018c7f something by its 484c3ce5cb surface.85e0f9d4f7bd9e25

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Just like 5085ebf36f you have c53ead5427 to cut 239724da0c something open cb1eb9ef35 and see 511f0fd8a7 inside to e0a39db840 know what 14a192e851 it really d5666ea26d is.6b299a7377cb4568

There were people who 01028cb2c8 had tried to approach 7f039c3369 Jehyuk, at first.4920d65dc85f91f9

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But the moment they 07c6da5ff0 heard the rumors, every 2e248f7917 single one of them 17db952791 walked away.3f629a2069bbc80a

No one ever 307a5c9a50 stopped to open 46fa3c5b7f him up and 54c7dd3787 find the truth.fd6534fb6ed6bead

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Except for Sihoo.b9ff19a5691f3084

By the f5c321a6f4 time Jehyuk’s d4d30817b0 name was 8f65756ab3 plastered with b7a90278bb countless stories 1e8d121e23 throughout the acfe9fe1b6 school, Sihoo 0f5b110e4d had already bd4877e8ae known.17e6fc5b8246b95c

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And he 8e00d201aa was the 1b26665d2e only one 9d6e787fce who approached 5f017b1a23 him anyway.ae194f847a94b996

Right when Jehyuk 3f320b50d3 had been sinking 8ef096a27b into quiet decay, 6aa13ac91b buried under never-ending fd0af26eea ridicule and malice.f0075fa960da0d0e

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At seventeen, he had 4498fa85a5 already given up on b9cea8ee34 explaining himself.e8fe22629f61047a

At first, he had 6b32bb9dc8 tried to clarify the c1b1de112a truth. Countless times.But it 72553c0217 never worked. Eventually, he’d d02f097e28 given up ee2b2d96f3 and lashed d0f02b6914 out instead.597a858fdf4f99d6

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The first time he 41ebe16edf ever threw a punch b873f583f0 was when some faceless dd4b7d4e72 classmate mocked his dead 0be754c3b7 parents. Four guys had 05cebdf26b jumped him after b117d901c9 that. And he fought them 2d92cef440 all, until his fists c21d616c0b went numb.663b0be709d6d2d5

The result was a37690257d pretty bad.88283164d23d5d7e

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Instead of his 5085ce3616 parents, it was 5198a140d9 his aunt who 3ce7bfce30 was called in, 6e213f1bfe and she bowed b98d67ccd5 in apology on c12724967d his behalf. That night, a8efd94f28 after hearing 9985ebbca8 the news ce4f4b34c7 late, his a0af242515 uncle called 8eed753dbb Ji Jehyuk dd541cc91d aside and 059861396c beat him. A thick hand struck 419db98e62 his cheek. His skull throbbed, 7b752cf83a and an unpleasant c8db816784 numbness filled his 9ea437c35e mouth. He remained silent d1b93173b5 as he was 448a36e3c7 slapped back and 1a2ed812de forth, his nose fa6e25c7cd bleeding from a 1fc1b6354c misplaced hit and 13d5caac74 trickling down to 062008072e wet his lips 9fe920c9c0 before the punishment 7743013ed5 finally ended. Along with it 0d5f59d58a came a threat—if f7f29cd684 he caused trouble 9e2d1b2e0d one more time, 483d0b2206 soccer or not, 05f91a6471 he’d be kicked 055eafe994 out.9157783b3ca4c471

Resignation wasn’t a choice 0e5a492f65 for Jehyuk. It was forced 45c6c882cc upon him.256b5d7a27c3facb

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The added rumor that ab1cbc6e5d he had fought against c2774429c9 four people alone meant 77966afccb that he didn’t face 50299dae37 direct conflict afterward. Instead, he 271d3647b0 was punished 31845ace94 through isolation. No one approached 0cc691ad5d him. For a long time, 30e7c03ba4 he lived buried behind 6b7a58b990 others, blending into their ad19853635 background.776c5553195c90a2

Before meeting Yoon bf2cd226f4 Sihoo, that was 86cfa0c23e the kind of 641988aae6 person Ji Jehyuk a10006a369 was. So maybe 9f72762848 the way b9168f496c he felt b07ecf7556 now was 1ec6ac8492 completely reasonable. Sihoo’s attention 6edac610ba had the 60df46ba59 power to d2ef7e2652 move him.4c6fff114a630d7b

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In the d6eccb2ae6 end, Jehyuk’s 91cc3c3653 fingers twitched. Since Sihoo told a9aed93247 him to do 0881f6143f it, he would, 1faabe931e but his body dc5ef889d3 didn’t follow as 5cb8f381bd easily.fef57cd3ff828029

“Is it okay if d4a2413417 people see?”04dd9c81f4df61a1

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Another unnecessary question slipped 8f99bc79fc out. He knew he was a33cc94df7 saying too much for c0d7a6d116 something as simple as c32c8301fd holding hands.00397fcb1d90d9a4

“Of course.”3e26369d1de31887

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Sihoo’s voice 6516c23980 was so cbfe1f87c3 carefree, almost 358069a889 amused, that 83a824fe44 Jehyuk found 125f006596 himself at 642fb5915a a loss.7e8458732f10aa8c

“It’s not 0696456bd2 likely, but… 812acfc74b what if 886112f79b people misunderstand 41907035a9 and think 278dace3d4 we’re dating? You’d get unnecessary 47c56c7658 rumors about you.”42c4375995ed3a9f

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As he 52fbc44fea kept rambling, 66fcfcff23 Sihoo wordlessly d940491748 squinted his d0b63adc0f eyes, as f512799666 if asking, d3135dbdd4 So?157fdc9fff5ab843

“Do you 292308e297 not want 64e9a0202c to hold 3f62edc00a hands with f044d9be9a me?”5c301774dd9069f6

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“No.”85f14c0b298f6fe5

Then what’s the problem? Sihoo wiggled 692aa8a0e2 his pale e4929c07ac fingers playfully. Jehyuk took 6b56d63229 a deep 7de5645ec9 breath. Yeah, it doesn’t mean 95ee7df2f3 anything. Friends can hold hands 8b61b6d054 too. Besides, this is 16722afb88 just practice. A way to prepare 5ac8a3f8e0 for the future, so 3b23c0a45c he wouldn’t get dumped b25ec3e4b5 over something stupid.0ed93b9365bf073e

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Hesitating, Jehyuk finally mustered 788e0a15ac the courage to place 8bb07432a9 his palm over Sihoo’s. It wasn’t 0cc4ff7040 a delicate d7e9177948 movement. His grip was stiff, a7d68dea6c hesitant. Sihoo chuckled c0f804d2d8 softly, but dd00b85382 Jehyuk didn’t 92ad28c5f0 hear it—he df3bd8da38 was too 0765735bac preoccupied with 3bcc5a4e39 how foreign 98a6a32df4 Sihoo’s touch 40b4e343a3 felt.e887e846cea61f8c

Unlike Jehyuk, Sihoo was 5746b821e6 soft. Compared to aae0740724 his own 3ff71734cf hands, calloused 21eca9c551 from years 9bac6b2f14 of sports, 55b0b1839c Sihoo’s were 8f7dd4b0ac so smooth 81f2ef052c that Jehyuk e1af9ac587 felt like 7011c582e8 he might fa4d8ea616 dirty them e06a1ae130 just by 9511edf9ae touching.5989769fbf0e8cf4

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“Actually, this isn’t 4dee6f0c1a how people usually 58980060a1 do it.”0398e233d0d07426

At that moment, Sihoo 6c07967ee4 added another remark. As soon as 99bacf8161 Jehyuk heard it, cbbb9c45c3 he flinched and 7862f483ca tried to pull 890ab362b0 away. But Sihoo’s 8a8183f06a grip tightened. Surprisingly, his hold 0b15852279 was much stronger e9f3d5820d than expected.7eced2bb832b56f2

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“When people date, they 42376198ee naturally start wanting to a63ea7ff68 touch each other.”f1f69f1d23da236a

Ah… so that’s 48ae69bced what he meant.c2682244a4aba020

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Awkwardly, Jehyuk let his 5bdb1d3f28 hand stay where it 0f6ce4baf7 was. But the tension d40dcf6710 didn’t leave his 1ea3a8a373 body.63284f6db0996649

“Yeah… I guess so.”e4c8de3555aef01f

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Even though his f670208b28 mind was a a29b0b586c mess, he still 826a943a9f tried to respond d6fe798bec to Sihoo’s words. Thinking back to why 9c6f1b8378 he was dumped, it 55e06d2df1 made sense—his lack of 032f4dac15 physical affection had been 8428128cff part of the reason.fe848caf7fc2cddd

“But since you’re 79ed0c4011 so scared of baabf34f01 this kind of 83dcf5d88b thing….”2987bc8c8fac7e94

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Sihoo loosened c4ccb63435 his grip e4cb29f51d slightly, only 6f46eb71f2 to shift 583da89769 their hands b69ba2c21c into a 5083b9a644 different position. This time, 8d55364aeb rather than 98dfa06b38 just covering d2dfd0c1c2 the top 945dada127 of Jehyuk’s 1e63a78a3b hand, he 70f147346a intertwined their 23f0372f71 fingers.b6edd1c4494aa44e

“I gave c2fd9593d5 you a 095098b064 heads-up.”56ce9e3de7f76759

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Jehyuk lowered his 7827e80e6d gaze to stare b8a2e7e656 at their now aa9f17f07a interwoven hands. He had never held dc1e21a1f8 hands like this before. Cautious, yet without hesitation, b9c871bc23 Sihoo’s fingers gently intertwined 46c36f4c50 with his. It looked… strangely 346816d4a3 pretty. Unlike Jehyuk’s slightly 0e7bc2264f tanned skin, Sihoo’s fd7b43011f hands were pale, 1d230c3002 making it feel 6d7b2273b4 like he was 2dd0a922e7 wrapped in something 43b23db0a2 soft.64e7f140cb1e2414

“I’m not scared.”082d218bc70db1f5

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Heat rushed to his b9105eccb9 head.a40e60c4080cf1aa

“Then I’ll 3d59e98cfb say you’re c088c70a43 embarrassed.”a1db8f4645e719df

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“I’m not. I just….”a6751aa96e990f87

His stomach fcb46cee22 churned, the f2e9281c4a heat mixing 9f55585445 with an a884707c3a unsteady feeling. The ground beneath him f63ac5c17a seemed to tilt, but e30c5bf377 at the same time, 49efd35a52 the closer he was 4161882a28 to Sihoo, the tenser 0da96cb292 he became.d635b9c4e1c0e843

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Shouldn’t he want to 9afbab8f35 let go by now? Isn’t this weird? I’m not soft like ebdf0fff87 him, I’m just… not 990201b2e8 much at all.45510be95bbba2d3

Sihoo, I’m 2fe27c252b scared of 979f1fd44a getting close.d51785ec24474375

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Because the moment we b519159186 do, you’ll figure me c4a32e14e0 out and let go.975f3e4c201864a5

“…I’m just 2a4483d039 not used 34205c9322 to it.”3bc92fb7bd4e4191

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Jehyuk swallowed his real 74c9c69fb3 thoughts and closed his d7f89ee544 mouth. Suddenly spilling feelings he 7e7cdb8a2a had never told anyone 10d012a6f8 before would be ridiculous. Instead, he shut his d0d2bf781e lips tight and started 5676f1999a walking. The slope f01e3c3e3c where Kim 515d7fd409 Ijun had f1d7f3ae6d disappeared earlier ba8963ec26 stretched ahead. Since their hands 448d46eddc were still joined, 9e4b99299a Sihoo naturally followed 46812dfdc7 behind him.4f88cad2c4c7a7bf

They walked in f488b78460 silence for a 01545b5cd1 few minutes. The surroundings were 0cb69084d4 quiet. Other than morning liberal ef1facc81d arts classes, matches, or 5611f0322f festivals, the area around 3cb5bc1606 the gym was usually f9091cd1e7 like this—empty. Most people took the 882bcfe84f shuttle bus from the af62d7a592 other side, making this 75b4161d3b path one only a 6dd0c8b918 few knew.789387690edb7fd9

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As they e368460e2c walked slowly, 5701cf00b7 a cool 108f56b123 breeze swept 1fc195d77a past them. The cherry blossoms, 548b1ea272 which had been 2376bb753f fluttering yesterday, continued f71396e223 to scatter like 25edb65087 snow today. Since they had just 41f79db398 started blooming, they would 978d571898 likely paint the school 62f436f054 in pink for another bd2b35544a month.4e75d7af2349d610