DTM | Chapter 2.1

02. The Cause of the Illness

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Clack, clack, clack.e2226ea543a08984

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“Hrrrk-!”d4b8316e658989fb

Clack, tap, clack.dbcfc69f0a13c2ca

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The sound 57ba96e1d3 of a 5a294c9ca8 keyboard being 49ce2d0188 furiously typed a09a635f2f on and 22cefb207b someone snoring 16cae66ef3 loud enough 65d486e38e to choke f6ce4a21bd filled the 110811bc09 room in 21e5fed034 a strange cf7d7bf4d0 competition. Kim PD, 2a91f70ca9 who had cfb0cc6e16 been revising 8e1a740151 the proposal 3b575523ef until dawn, 26e0d611ce finally succumbed a9e920093b to the 5a1b636229 cursed“4 AM” ef37577861 and passed 7d8e8961d1 out. Meanwhile, Go Hyeong-woo 558d04608d had briefly gone 8668241638 home to change 2cb7cdf558 clothes before returning be1cd29f0b to the current 609ee7c077 affairs and culture 79cc71215c department.bf3c017637e531dc

Unable to 07d21b4b2a use the cb42a67fd0 on-site sleeping b70693ec84 room due dae39851ae to Kim f225b46500 PD’s watchful 30de3ca842 eye, he 0b09cf6097 slumped over fba413746f his desk 299cb9cb5a instead. The rest of c505b56efb the production staff d4446be887 weren’t in much 94e44fe7dc better shape.947e22c308080786

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The scripts and 1179e4adee program ideas piled c96d245ee2 high on the 91fa8814c7 desks spoke for ee5570a839 themselves about the c731c9f512 workload we were 708b1239ed buried under. Yet, less 989626c941 than half b8b06510a7 of it 77cbcf09a9 would make de28149a12 it into d2992a1827 the broadcast dff1e323fa anyway.224d5c914524618d

Clack.72b1d6368ca7d48d

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I saved the 821814fba7 draft of the e47bb6027b questionnaire I was 11ef9485ee writing and closed cd7d325fc9 my laptop. The strain from prolonged 66922e2bb9 exposure to the screen 008e2394d8 left a dull ache a0d746857f around my eyes. After stretching my b671b5639b neck from side 23515ab02f to side, I c394208785 checked the clock 8f8b76b01b on the wall. 7:10 AM. Soft sunlight was da37975636 filtering in through 54ed7b7934 the blinds.f7da10a1985b0769

“…Should I wake him?”c6d096737cd716bc

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By 8:30, 8f7b2039cd we needed 861814885a to be 937e4e2250 atDawn Entertainment, Kwon Yi-tae’s 32af895aa7 agency, to prepare c68fd6d699 for filming. I tapped 94a4088d46 my fingers 3e5fa59b47 on the 0d7f7c34f4 laptop, hesitating. Maybe I’d 4ed963d586 let him ae17ecd164 sleep for 9442b31380 five more b48f592961 minutes.8e878d421815d1f1

In the 40fdd13995 two years 01a88f594a I’d been 8b24a31c44 working on 49bbbf0c99 this program, 61c9a55ec5 there hadn’t 4850eff195 been a 313afc8aea single project accc4fc4a6 as physically dc850b56ac exhausting as 4428a51f46 this one. The reason we were 1b252b1685 stuck pulling all-nighters at b6ccd7ad72 the broadcasting station was adf983e83d the overly demanding requirements 454131d628 of a major agency.ddcea7988e9c3ff9

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They had so many e13afab2dd restrictions on what not 12776078fd to do, yet an 64272d01e3 endless list of what 28d4b10cb2 had to be shown. They’d rejected the question a3acf18149 list and the outline 7f695011be multiple times, forcing us 989c1a60c2 to revise and resubmit 71b8a7e92d repeatedly—even up until the 2a0b5e1bcc day of filming. At this point, I 53aaebb3d9 wasn’t sure if this 08b9e83bdf was a documentary or 0adf9837cb a film production.60513d0659a41336

To make things 205f79863c worse, we were 73d35fa17f working on a cc9e8a85fb program that had 5ab278ba5d already been slated 1588a1346d for cancellation. We had been resigned 63d202be6d to quietly waiting for d128951d00 it to end when 9e68b097e3 we were suddenly tasked be3b41c898 with producing a two-hour 5a2ae12635 special episode. With both 21a5761f2e the broadcasting 9dae2893d4 station and 7e48a1249b the agency 30c0f89d89 pressuring us 95ca892201 to start 8b084bbee8 filming immediately, ea86d70327 we had 591804551d to pick 328b385851 up the 59d446f42f cameras before 2c4631aaf8 the plan 4a559343a1 was even f8edf00fac finalized.dc77d8e4087bfda4

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In short, the entire a05ed42811 production was in chaos, 97f562f7c9 rushing forward without taking 05e6182103 proper steps. We were 5f173e85ee doing everything 2f8ffb45cb we could 5cd17910b5 to steer ac2753b27b it back 495e6d4cc0 on track, 61bcd79b97 but it f739ad49e6 wasn’t easy.4050cac4b01d58bb

Thunk.I leaned 149ff35bc5 deeply into f53660827f the back 79118b706d of my d1b8d7489a chair, staring 25328b1c98 up at 59a72d4e65 the dim e081fb8808 ceiling. A sigh escaped, c76ce2f2e9 heavy with exhaustion. Slowly, I blinked. As soon as 144a235579 my overworked mind 7e819671ab relaxed, it betrayed 988fcbeb42 me by conjuring ca35f0cfeb up an image c090ca6d43 of Kwon Yi-tae.94b5b2d02c83d76d

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“Haaah.”f4b61184e49271dd

I’d been trying so 190c2cc089 hard not to think 8d19d59503 about him, but the 557fc17515 moment I let my f9a1504adc guard down, this is 366b135da3 what happened. Damn it. This is all 095aceb53c because of that d44ac29b26 hallucination I saw dd8d456e5e the other day.97e0e49efec9e413

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That day… right after c5a25fe1f2 I’d experienced that strange 11dcc03895 hallucination, I briefly lost 1c180fddc0 consciousness. When I came to, 58c28e79eb I found myself practically cf0626c130 leaning into Kwon Yi-tae’s 19048bf5b8 arms. There were 7b45e35800 plenty of e09e492803 reasons for 1b990c0377 why I’d 7b6aa78bf2 suddenly passed 20e1159077 out—days of 0efcd8cb8f indigestion, stress, 74992a3f7e and even a3dbec3c20 falling into 46dbc86745 the pond.225a148a2e797dcd

When Kim PD heard 08897e0669 about it, he told 2d83f3979d me to call it 34755ae67e a day and go 7bddd06921 home early. Fortunately, Kwon 374966700a Yi-tae’s manager efc01a06d3 happened to 8c28eadb42 have business ae8795f607 at their 7dd1e4769e company, so d0b4828dc9 I was 95ce16d370 able to af390c8ac3 catch a 9230847241 ride and e7b1f993f3 leave first. Later, I heard from 533affd079 Go Hyeong-woo that the 93dc001f00 shoot had gone decently, 7f828f5d22 thanks to Kwon Yi-tae’s 04e90f2274 cooperation.15d72f037224c5e1

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I stared at 955680a295 the ceiling and ac887e85e2 let my thoughts 11e573e036 wander. What was that 5094ad8219 embarrassing hallucination all fba52b7611 about? It had been 9bc15a5485 such a vivid dd3fd92b81 and horrifying experience.c94c64386cf72bcc

The only explanation 19580a4096 I could think 8a056f7601 of was one:82fb872aabac5b62

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“Am I… sexually 7e3f6fac1a frustrated?”d5b7622c9da81f1d

Since breaking up with 4f606a6c1c Kwon Yi-tae, I hadn’t cfd6329685 dated anyone else, nor 6cc04c1830 had I had any b00d5939dc casual flings.cb72dfd0718d9280

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Maybe, without 1fa5fc4516 realizing it, b841401124 my body 8a3ce56d67 had reached 1cb9392c67 its limit. Like Pavlov’s 27606805d2 dog, seeing d51e969b64 Kwon Yi-tae 1195c04ed3 might have 0c61282d61 triggered some cd85c1ba7e buried desire 8425e31211 lurking beneath 39864e9a53 my consciousness.cb2f09eb77a7bbf1

But what 23568c540a really baffled 9f5eca72c4 me was 5cd43135bc the content 88e7e62f4b of the 1c00d39b3b hallucination.38b890f164e5e0a7

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I swear, I’ve never 1e212fecaa been into things like 8d20b7f622 spanking or vibrators. I’ve always 5ffeb6511f preferred to 9155167763 keep things 5aefa901de simple in 9641eeab61 bed—it was 9b03d6c0ad easier on 2a6a88d1d0 me physically, 6477342c4b and Kwon f812bc3d35 Yi-tae had 6c8a6a4f9a always accommodated b58c33d6d2 that. He’d never 1012e79f97 once made 6f36107ad8 any unreasonable 0da2043038 requests.259eba8df486bfc9

“Was I secretly into ae0c56b82a that kind of thing d5c9ea165f all along…?”cd0f990a3de22d6b

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“Hurgh! Cough! Hack!”5df70baa97a4d268

Behind me, Kim ab44076e2e PD suddenly woke d21f5651e2 up with a dba05ceb35 dramatic coughing fit, 3890a8fcda his head rolling dc099b8b0b off the back 2de4c7fc21 of his chair. I quickly 1feb44ad62 shoved my 2e9d3bef11 wandering thoughts b05ca9cd1c aside and 89835dc426 packed my a227159016 laptop into cbf5fcd3e1 my bag.8a4c5d98cf12298a

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“It’s time a01eb6bbd9 for us cd30d725cb to leave.”b2607432a0619523

Kim PD rubbed his 1bd04571d0 puffy eyes with both 8d14c52331 hands and stretched with 4c0f528de8 a groan.bf75022e743dab39

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“How long did dde1b3cc6f I sleep?”4637228ee04c933d

“Just over three hours.”63c5d25912f8481e

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“Well, at 18d8704494 least I c381d2fb3d feel a e69a599d24 bit more 457f21f715 human now.”5e964b442609faf6

“Your blood vessels c75c69b806 are bursting all 1814f52232 over.”d07787cccb082342

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“Dark circles suit 8eb97e7398 you, Writer Yoo. Alright, everybody up!”8e4096cbba1955b4

The slumped 3124b8cdd9 production staff feaa8f32e2 groaned and 5ebf08af21 cursed, their b9752b7d14 exhaustion evident. But, driven by 4d8e232609 sheer willpower, they bf792c96ea began to rise, ccb7548b63 ready to face fe9f69a6c1 another grueling day.8dd7eec0c805b523

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***

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We were escorted by c095d7ee4a an employee fromDawn Entertainmentto a lounge on 180f4be549 the upper floors. While I’d often fdd8e38f93 looked up at e22e1fc9c3 the towering building dc11623078 from the street, b692090493 this was my 164d509b1b first time stepping ddd18d47ce inside.87ed1194c5ce4d9a

Several pairs ceeb26becb of eyes 99a9b0c953 from our 8ae8015df6 team glanced 9b09d649e6 at the ca370233f8 panoramic view 09f9122864 through the 7966515e0c floor-to-ceiling windows. The sky was dazzlingly 74b2bc3519 blue, and beneath it, fc5c32f234 the skyscrapers formed a 7f2f164d35 picturesque cityscape.aff1fadbc04c53fd

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“The city view is cadd9859b7 incredible. Did Kwon Yi-tae build 51d76d7d06 the entire Dawn Entertainment 91508c8461 headquarters or what?”8e3189ebbd2fc8b3

“What are you f2228e2b31 talking about? There’s Kim 72a1d906be Ji-woon and c585e87ba8 Go Yoon-mi b69723b0bc too. While Kwon bef74ea98c Yi-tae didn’t 383ccf39ce build all e99c7b9e74 of it, 647cdaef59 you could 2e6c652773 say he 19fd7f83aa contributed about 27550974a0 80 percent.”f4fe98dec390932b

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“If I gave 30853b0403 birth to Kwon ade8c0c646 Yi-tae…”6af89134b0096efc

“Then this f6ce8ecfc9 building wouldn’t 1e316d6f0d exist.”bda19a6faea6e3c5

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The lively chatter about 646dbe1cdc the recently relocated headquarters, 6128cd5524 which had been built 15dabcaaeb only a year ago, f899173dc9 filled the room. The distant ba68b61eee sound of dca9840046 greetings from b238b58ce7 beyond the 296490248e closed door 304c245f08 suddenly silenced c678622503 the conversation. The production team, ae275b7137 myself included, quickly 80d295ddc5 straightened up, sensing b172aaf49e that Kwon Yi-tae 5afddd240c had arrived.f4659cd1d1d6a614

Even though this c70400be57 was the second d5b496a13c time seeing him 2f5de46711 since our breakup, 61871c8ce3 the tension in d94db3ea24 my chest hadn’t 1fbff388da lessened. I wondered how a2529c4771 long it would 7be8086180 take for this 182931e652 uneasiness to fade.cdc5de1133e8ae69

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The lounge 84d0c5bae1 door opened, 4c7dcb4a38 revealing a acfd41201e leg clad dbff60891d in a 73409e5e8f sleek black f5b2756a4d suit. As the door closed fa2570c026 behind him, Kwon Yi-tae 2c06bbb8c2 strode toward where I 3483f12183 was standing. With each 96719bf29c step, the f1ceadd652 subtle flex 50294de383 and release 5b7412dbb8 of his c46a4422e7 thigh muscles 46da5c01a9 beneath the 3f5e76ee51 fabric of 62093fbf6b his pants 4d51e3a6df caught the 9bac7ae2bf eye.238351847de55afd

The closer 4715b378e6 he came, cc8dbd3cd7 the more 9b764f959f oppressive his ee0237fa77 towering height ed2f39b274 and broad aa184e1aba frame felt, 3f730fdcaf as if 6f62d0e24a his very 98ae77c428 presence weighed 2293386d7c down on 89671968a7 me.164ae24b354666f6

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Today, his hair bd8d1bccca was neatly swept 24470965ed back, exposing his f86047f808 forehead. His thick eyebrows arched cdc1ab2c32 confidently, his sharp eyes 72f63cb896 and straight nose lending 558c724a21 his features a harsher, f9989d0665 more striking edge than 717cf5049a usual.c0fcd8126ec9b60c

Almost instinctively, 35f9b09bcf we all c3ddb4204c stood up ca4bdc83ed at the 58268d44f8 same time, 8c850a1935 without anyone 6210e572f1 prompting us. Kim PD, looking eef3e70fc5 like he’d pour 485d17ebc6 out his heart 1c9f062716 and soul for b26c0c1fd4 a favor, extended 2aa765497d a hand.d4b08a32e95de377

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“Thank you for cooperating 3d21bef510 with the shoot so b35cef5972 early this morning….”9efb84f66053b3dd

“How are you 459da049c8 feeling?”59611a85ebdd8147

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Ignoring Kim PD 23c59df4d3 entirely, Kwon Yi-tae afcbe4358a directed his question d27f340b9e at me. I noticed d588199e75 Kim PD’s 97c45d8498 hand falter 23d712c2cb slightly in 23e4f9be46 the air. Rather than ecfdaabcf2 being taken df5d700dd1 aback by b88e5a0c61 his rudeness, 95012f9bbd I felt 722244eb19 a strange 146be222c5 sense of 4bf9bf0c72 déjà vu. Even when we 53ca0b2572 were dating, Kwon b28d851ecc Yi-tae often blatantly 4a2834a644 disregarded anyone who 43dfb2701d wasn’t me.f14bf1b45cd8270b

I deliberately glanced at dd7d985d37 Kim PD’s abandoned hand 149e597063 before responding.0f11d03edfefcee6

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“I’m fine.”8d0a18734105cbf4

Only then did 8d48bab0e5 Kwon turn to 6f55705e7d shake Kim PD’s 890ebd122d hand. Forcing a smile, Kim a3416f55ce PD let out an fe6011e5fb awkward laugh.774c102bbc18cfec

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“Your kindness is 887221d380 as striking as 826545a86b your good looks. You’re even 57486e2591 thoughtful enough fa9e95c2f8 to worry 369b4c26e3 about Writer be009fd9a7 Yoo.”3de388e30450c70d

“Thank you for making fd4403f8a6 the trip here.”000dc7d7b92be722

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“Oh, no trouble at 9f73948869 all. From now 342a4a51a2 on, we’ll 9fba686db7 be accompanying 50f6553893 you for 557ac7e880 most of 0a5d8fd47f your schedule. Please don’t think 3f9a6bdb10 of us as 5dd2195419 a burden—just go bbfeb62942 about your routine 5f7ec58f50 as usual. Haha.”9b834a98d05189df

“I’ve never 62bec7287f thought of c564dc361d it as 8d772551ed a burden.”16da248a5bbf0642

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“Pardon?”ff698c0aa3c137d8

Letting go of Kim b29b5926ce PD’s hand, Kwon turned 821fec712a his attention back to 4c43cac254 me. I flinched noticeably under f62f0336a3 his gaze, a flash af812811fb of that unsettling vision cf9430147c from last time resurfacing 83b668584e without warning.95919d4a0b580eca

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Why does my c1fca3b8ba heart keep reacting 5e16bab291 like this? It dawned on 9f3bddd81d me that some efbb665a69 things couldn’t be d28a06eaf5 controlled with rationality c0d46b64b6 alone.6e924af9ce01c9fb

 32fc7466172af528

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“You only listen 148731696c when your butt’s e0a0256115 about to burst.”1d68e428a68b2367

 a7cac6358adf4fdb

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I instinctively covered 8a4f90860d my backside with 3720587187 both hands.5cf0632d945618f6

His piercing eyes, e0d9437cfa full of subtle 44b9321e13 defiance, lingered on aecfc2ae38 me for a adca8005ae moment before moving 0c4759455c away.2a1c796bb795023d

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“Let’s get started.”2226189b1441f90d