LD Chapter 5

“Do you know how much I hate Choi Taeyoung?”

“I know.”

“Do you know how much I loathe Choi Taeyoung?”

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“I know.”

“Do you know how much I detest Choi Taeyoung?”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“…I know.”

“Then why are you hanging out with Choi Taeyoung?”

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

“…I’m not hanging out with him…”

I mumbled, avoiding Kim Jooyeon’s glare as she crossed her arms. I wasn’t hanging out with him. It was just that Choi Taeyoung kept sitting next to me when I was sitting alone, and he kept following me when I went to get coffee.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“And why are you ignoring Ha Jungyoon?”

“…….”

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“You two seemed to have gotten closer when you came to the bar together last time. Didn’t you two go off for another drink afterwards? Did you fight or something?”

Was there really such a thing as a woman’s intuition? Her sharp guess was so accurate that I couldn’t refute it. I closed my mouth, trying to calm my surprise.

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

I hadn’t fought with Ha Jungyoon, but… well, something did happen.

It had been a week since I avoided making eye contact with Ha Jungyoon. Ha Jungyoon might not know, but I couldn’t face him casually.

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

At first, I desperately avoided him. But since we had so many classes together, it wasn’t a very effective strategy. It was like those kindergarten kids who think they’re invisible to others if they just cover their eyes. That level of childishness.

Then, I gradually realized there was no need for it. Ha Jungyoon seemed completely uninterested in me. He acted as if nothing had ever happened. In the classroom, he sat with the juniors, chatting and joking around. When the lecture started, he focused intently, and when it was over, he left the lecture hall with the juniors. His gaze never once lingered on me.

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“We weren’t that close with Ha Jungyoon to begin with…”

So, it was just me, being overly conscious and awkward.

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Ah, whatever. Then get close to him from now on.”

Kim Jooyeon shook her head, looking at me as I mumbled, then waved her hand behind me.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“Ha Jungyoon, over here.”

“What?”

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

I reflexively turned around, saw Ha Jungyoon approaching, and quickly turned back.

“Ah, Kim Jooyeon.”

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

“I absolutely can’t stand seeing you hanging around with Choi Taeyoung. I’m worried you’ll get caught up in bad rumors.”

Her narrowed eyes were filled with concern. Well… there was nothing good about being associated with Choi Taeyoung. But still…

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

“Kim Jooyeon.”

“Oh, there you are! You two enjoy your meal. Chanyoung is waiting for me, so I’ll get going. See ya.”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

Looking at me, Kim Jooyeon added, “Call me later,” and turned away. I stood there helplessly, watching her retreating figure. 

Only when she disappeared completely from my sight did I finally muster the courage, though tinged with a sense of resignation—and perhaps even a hint of relief—to turn around and face Ha Jungyoon. It wasn’t something I could keep dragging on forever. Now, as a rational adult, it was time to tackle things head-on, logically and maturely.

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Um, Ha Jungyoon.”

“Sorry, but…”

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Ha Jungyoon averted his gaze and scratched his eyebrow with his index finger, looking troubled.

“Huh?”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“I…I’m having lunch with some of the guys.”

“Ah… oh, really?”

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Yeah.”

“Okay… I see. Go ahead.”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“Yeah, I’ll get going. Enjoy your meal.”

At my dismissal, Ha Jungyoon smiled casually and turned away without a second glance. My jaw dropped as I watched him go, and my expression slowly crumpled.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“What… is this?”

…What was going on?

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

As I watched his light receding footsteps, a surge of anger suddenly washed over me.

* * *

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

I returned home, didn’t even bother changing my clothes, and sat at my desk, pulling out a math workbook. I often encountered situations in life with no clear answers, and in those moments, solving problems with definite solutions was the best way to cope.

But even after solving almost ten pages, Ha Jungyoon’s smiling face wouldn’t leave my mind.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

I jumped up from my seat and ran to the convenience store. I stuffed my refrigerator with the bags of beer I bought and went straight to the bathroom. I took a shower in freezing cold water that made me shiver and, with a towel wrapped around my head, grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and plopped down in front of my bed.

Tsss.

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

The sound of the carbonation escaping as I opened the can rang cheerfully. Just before the beer overflowed, I brought the can to my lips and gulped it down. After emptying half the can, the tightness in my chest seemed to ease a bit.

“Phew….”

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

Ha Jungyoon, whom I saw today, seemed to have no intention of talking about what happened that night. He had seemed that way for the past week, but it was as if he had completely erased the entire incident from his memory. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand how he felt. Ha Jungyoon must have been just as flustered as I was, and it was probably uncomfortable for him to even think about that night.

In a way, it might be better to just let things be. To let time naturally resolve the situation.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

Even though I knew in my mind that it was the right thing to do, somewhere in my heart, I still felt uneasy. It bothered me that he remembered something I didn’t. But I couldn’t very well grab him and demand to know what happened, especially since he seemed to want to avoid the topic.

Why did I even drink so much? 

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

I chugged down the rest of the beer, filled with regret, a regret I’d already felt countless times, a regret that came too late. The only consolation was the certainty that whatever happened that night, it was consensual. Strangely, I didn’t have any doubts about this part.

“Ha…”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

A sigh escaped me out of habit.

“So, Ha Jungyoon and I… really did it?”

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

It must have been his first time, and mine too, but I had no idea how we, two inexperienced guys, could have… done anything.

“That night, did I…”

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

I tilted my head back and stared blankly at the ceiling.

“…get hard?”

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

The answer to that desolate question was buried along with the hazy memories of that night.

* * *

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Perhaps because I drank on an empty stomach, or perhaps because my mind and body were exhausted from days of tension, four cans of beer were enough to get me drunk. Still, the remaining shreds of my rationality told me to stop drinking, so I fumbled to pick up the empty beer cans scattered on the floor and then collapsed onto my bed. The blurry ceiling spun.

“Fuuuu.”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

My lips trembled as I exhaled forcefully, making a loud noise.

“Well, whatever. If that’s how he wants to play it, fine. No, it’s for the best. That night never happened. Ha Jungyoon… would naturally want to forget it too.”

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

Then, it was right for me to forget it as well. It was a simple matter, now that I thought about it. It was a simple calculation that didn’t require any complicated formulas. I just had to erase that one-night transgression and, as I’d planned when I first returned to school, live a smooth and uneventful semester and graduate without any problems.

See? Totally simple. Okay, problem solved.

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

Just as I finally felt at peace and drifted off to sleep…

‘Haaa…’

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

‘Does it feel good?’

‘I… I don’t… I don’t know… Ah!’

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

‘Why don’t you know? You’re cumming all over the place right now.’

‘Ahh…’

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

‘Look, here… yours.’

‘No…’

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

‘What do you mean no? Ha… try to relax, Hyunsoo.’

“AHHHH!”

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

I jolted awake, gasping for air like someone pulled out of icy water and thrown onto the ground. In the dizzying images flashing before my eyes, two naked men were entangled. The sounds of wet flesh slapping together still seemed to echo in my ears.

Something felt strange and unfamiliar, and my gaze slowly drifted downwards. I hesitated, then pulled back the blanket, and my mouth fell open.

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

“Ah…”

I didn’t need a mirror to know what state I was in. My eyes, my neck, even my fingertips and toes were burning.

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

The person clinging, clutching, yearning for a kiss, wrapping his legs around the other, desperate not to let go, was me.

“W-what… what the hell is this…”

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

I stared blankly at my erect penis.

* * *

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

I had solved the problem and arrived at an answer before falling asleep drunk last night. It wasn’t a satisfying solution, but I had reached a conclusion and thought it was finally over.

But… this wasn’t what I had in mind….

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

I purposely entered the lecture hall right before the class started and sat in the very back. Today, I didn’t want to sit with anyone, not even Choi Taeyoung. I didn’t have the mental capacity for it; my mind was too chaotic.

I sighed softly, glancing at Ha Jungyoon’s back. He was sitting in the same row, far away from Choi Taeyoung, chatting cheerfully with the juniors. The sight of his peaceful demeanor left a bitter taste in my mouth.

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

The chaotic events of dawn, replaying itself over and over, turned my mind into a battlefield.

I got an erection. A full-blown, rock-hard erection. It happened ridiculously easily. Even in my confused state, I was relieved and happy to know that there was nothing physically or functionally wrong with me. But that joy was short-lived. It was because the person I thought of while getting hard was none other than Ha Jungyoon.

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

Whether it was a simple dream or a fragment of that night’s suptressed memories, my erect penis showed no signs of subsiding. Not knowing what to do, I stared at my tenting crotch, sweating profusely, and slowly pulled down my pants and underwear. My penis sprang free with a thump.

I could get hard like this, and yet…

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

I felt both proud and resentful of my stiff, erect penis. 

You bad boy.

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

I worried it might go soft as soon as I touched it, but thankfully, as I carefully grasped it, it throbbed in my hand, proving it was alive. Even just gently holding it made my back tremble. As I stroked it up and down, a moan escaped my lips. My toes curled, and my breath hitched.

So, this was what it felt like. 

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

My eyelids twitched behind closed eyes. It was incomparable to my first wet dream, which I could barely remember. Even though I came pathetically quickly after just a few strokes, I felt a wave of pleasure intense enough to make my whole body tingle.

My torso heaved as I looked at the whitish semen spilled on my hand. I then stared at my now flaccid penis, then tried to rouse it again, experimenting with different touches. But as if that previous ejaculation had been a lie, my penis fell back into a deep sleep and showed no sign of waking up.

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

I rubbed my tired face, made rough from lack of sleep, with my cold hands. My gaze, beyond my control, kept drifting towards the handsome face that was focused on the professor’s lecture.

The starting point of all these problems.

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

My head throbbed at this hopeless situation.

* * *

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

Perhaps the beginning was always the hardest. The repressed memories, in no particular order, started popping up at random times. And whenever they did, my penis would react faithfully, as if it had never given me any trouble before.

At first, I was excited, thinking I had finally overcome this persistent trauma, but it was a futile hope. After showering thoroughly, I purposefully tried to masturbate, but my dejected penis showed no reaction. Even when I racked my brain and conjured up all sorts of stimulating fantasies, it remained unresponsive. The only time it reacted was when…

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“Haah!”

The blanket crumpled in my clenched fist. As the scene replayed in my mind by itself, my hand reached into my pants and frantically stroked my penis. My legs, restricted by my pants and underwear bunched around my thighs, thrashed against the sheets.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

‘Here… ha… how does this feel?’

‘G-Good… good… uh!’

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

Ha Jungyoon, holding me from behind as I lay on my side, moved his hand from my stomach up to my chest, cupping it. My hardened nipples were crushed beneath his hot palm.

My writhing back pressed against the sheets. The hand that was gripping the blanket moved up to my chest. 

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

Here, was it here? 

Instead of the fiery palm from my memory, my own trembling hand rested on my chest. My heels pushed against the bed. I clumsily rubbed my nipples and frantically stroked my penis. My lower abdomen tightened, and my back arched. I hurriedly cupped my hand over the tip of my penis, and semen spurted into my palm.

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

“Haa, haa… haa…”

My ragged breaths echoed in the quiet room. I blinked blankly and raised my hand. I blinked stupidly, then raised my hand. The semen, coating my palm, dripped down.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“What am I doing?”

It was hard to decide which to address first: the mess on my hand from ejaculating while reliving that night’s memory, or the hand still resting on my chest.

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

* * *

Now I was avoiding Ha Jungyoon for a different reason. Guilt. 

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

Guilt over jacking off to thoughts of him almost every day. I didn’t know I was so susceptible to pleasure. I never knew this world existed. I knew it was intense, but this was really… truly intense.

One week avoiding Ha Jungyoon, and another week masturbating to thoughts of him. It had already been two weeks since I started spending all my time thinking about Ha Jungyoon. 

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

What the hell was I even doing? 

My hopeful new semester was tainted by Ha Jungyoon. Stickily and messily tainted.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

I even thought that I was better off when I was worried about my erectile dysfunction. If I couldn’t get it up, I could have gone to the hospital for counseling or medication. But I had no idea how to deal with this current situation.

Getting hard wasn’t the problem. The problem was who made me hard.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

…Could it be that… I like men?

I bit the end of my mechanical pencil and looked around the noisy lecture hall during a short break.

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

Absolutely not.

This was the only question I could answer with certainty in this confusing situation. I didn’t even need to consider whether I could kiss a man. Even holding a man’s hand was impossible.

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

Then why did I come to thoughts of Ha Jungyoon? 

There was only one plausible hypothesis.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

Because it was my first time. Because so far, my only experience of such intense sexual stimulation and pleasure was with Ha Jungyoon. Of course, I still wasn’t sure if I had actually come that night, but judging from the current circumstances, it was highly likely. I was making such a mess all by myself, after all.

“Ugh, I don’t know.”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

“Hyung, here you go.”

“Ah! You scared me!”

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

I jumped as I heard a voice beside me, just as I was about to slump onto my desk in despair.

“Ack!”

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

The junior, who was trying to offer me a can of coffee, also yelped. Clutching our chests, we stared at each other in silence, mouths agape. Then, we both took deep breaths, holding each other’s shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

“Yes, hyung, are you okay?”

After calming down from our shared moment of panic, I took the can of coffee from the junior and sat down.

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

“Phew.”

I exhaled slowly, confirming that my heart was back in its place, and tried to steady my breathing. Just then, Choi Taeyoung, who was sitting far away in the front, turned around, scowled, and made an unnecessary comment.

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

“That bastard is embarrassing all the veterans. With his weak nerves, how did he even manage night watch duty?”

That damn military again. It was because of bastards like him that veterans got a bad name. 

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

I didn’t want to respond, so I pretended not to hear and sipped my coffee. Then, I overheard a conversation between two neatly dressed female students sitting in front of me.

“Fucking asshole. His face is the one that’s an embarrassment to the nation.”

Visit Lily on the Valley to read full chapter without gibberish

“Ugly, with a grating voice, that son of a bitch.”

I looked at the frustrated juniors sympathetically. Then, I turned my head absently and froze. Ha Jungyoon, who had been looking at me, smiled when our eyes met.

Please visit lilyonthevalley.com to support the translator

…What are you smiling about?

It annoyed me that he was acting so nonchalant, smiling as if nothing had happened after ignoring me for weeks. Of course, he quickly looked away. Just then, a flash of memory popped into my head.

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

‘Ha Jungyoon, earlier, haah, there, more, more…!’

‘Ha, Woo Hyunsoo.’

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com

His amused face.

No.

Support us by visiting our official site at lilyonthevalley.com

I quickly turned my head. But I couldn’t hide the flush spreading across my ears and neck.

This is driving me crazy. 

Read the complete chapter at Lily on the Valley without random text

Now even just his smile was making me hard.

 

For the best reading experience, visit lilyonthevalley.com