LD Chapter 3

Ha Jungyoon sat at 22b5da2ed3 the empty end of 7c6cf8c7bd the table, so I 4fd64e28aa sat across from him. It was supposed to 8da43763f2 be a gathering to ad2dbf982d celebrate Kim Jooyeon and 1547ef438b Jung Chanyoung’s relationship, but 36abf04fb2 it felt more like 1ef3d41023 a general start-of-semester party. Department juniors I d65f01f88d didn’t even know 2bf8eb0055 started showing up eaf995bfa5 one by one, ef9c4b25c5 as if we 780125706c had rented out 0204bfa33c the entire bar.32c3c8d6b3baae0d

The alcohol flowed smoothly 6c03eb5e88 as we exchanged drinks b729e9fbf7 with everyone. I sipped soju 96810f1bad continuously, enjoying the e0b94f216d boisterous atmosphere I 4166d4d425 hadn’t experienced in 898b402234 a while. Some people were ad76078130 having serious conversations, 5a40261f15 others were giggling 65e756123c while looking at feb41e213e their phones, and 72fb9e589d others were gathered 8ca86d0fd7 in small groups, b8e60128a5 chatting.90e8e1206a4d70ad

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My eyes, 736a565797 scanning the cb852c9f5e table, stopped 97ea4c057c at Ha 2087b50b1a Jungyoon. When our eyes ee0ee030cd met, Ha Jungyoon, befa5671bd who had been 613e4aba64 expressionless, fixed his cd1fbe4b1e gaze on me 2d93621c54 and, as if 58512f24ee showing off, lifted 7f386e0b04 the corners of 5ece522c0d his lips into c798e82733 a smile. His face was 401f709c77 truly beautiful. I was admiring him c36c6ccb19 anew when a junior b6d4a76664 sitting next to me c4d7adfcde suddenly offered Ha Jungyoon b358d09c78 a soju bottle.068bf0f7c89a21f9

“Here,hyungnim¹.”fffe3fc222863b7c

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I watched 6c0c21d7c8 them, my a9335a2d84 eyes darting 2f7af93af2 back and fd31a7dbbd forth.b050482b265d3b8d

“Did you 010d0761d0 just get f90d4a597c out of 56d30a8759 a gang 000eabc559 or something?” a089c4c337b65d52

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Ha Jungyoon held 92ea3e0fdc out his glass 3c9fe23d60 and accepted the 37e067399d soju the junior 3f67d7ab5d poured.b41f592a000b87ac

“Haha! If hyungnim starts e83191eb31 a gang, I’ll c03251c03c gladly join!”135981ec895eb3a0

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“Go finish your d77b0d86aa military service first. I don’t accept 7408f85cc1 non-veterans.” 18c56844a9ce8a88

“As expected… the a5b14e992c composure of a ae91d05e1b veteran.” cef7e1b71715dbea

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“You’re drunk.”25f0d4f8501fb755

“I apologize!”5c41e2a4a6b1617f

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The junior 45da599a4c stood up dec787fc10 abruptly and 8d3eb6a0dd apologized, and ee6ce09eb9 Ha Jungyoon 58addaf1b4 filled his 3aa62d1f82 empty glass 49b7f9349b with water.8137b6e90f8c2718

“Oppa, it 43fd12dd3a was such 08de5666df a shame ae062433f8 when you ca4c1dbcd5 suddenly took 8982d33b32 a leave aa17d5baae of absence.”d01a24b515f1ea26

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“That’s right! How could you just 0d8febb2b6 suddenly leave for the 3b760624f3 military like that?”a2d1bd8730dfc01e

“It was a 1243b279dc total shock.”11502aeb186db362

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Juniors who usually just 23f34cc157 shyly greeted him in 2a5dd095cc passing were emboldened by 17bf20061f the alcohol to talk 08843c5165 to Ha Jungyoon. I emptied 1d698f06cb my glass, a9d9c9d04c who knows 73f70aced2 how many 231b0d7bb6 times now, b99c7d1053 and stared 8917988cff at Ha 5e0780a37f Jungyoon.6204bce33f53f8de

“What are 4e9ef4c205 you looking db7ca7b903 at? Are you drunk c9e97460dd too?”aff3d8b6b008ca39

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Ha Jungyoon 04cd46ecda pushed a 2320b2b972 glass of f88918c2fc ice toward 4567ce527e me.dfa21fb6440a10a2

“Did you really b01b5466ef register for the 4916b74379 first semester and 4f7db73976 then take a 5e00391cac leave of absence?”1d7a3b02df25dd87

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“Yeah.”a1d1ba03801fccf9

This was bb60b48de8 one of f5fafbbe42 the facts a434411fe5 I’d learned 589f60553a while spending 3599b14812 time with 1a52573b12 Ha Jungyoon aaadf49c75 over the c80091a5a3 past week. He had 67509f6386 paid his 27b9a0e038 tuition for 09f38c78c7 the first 439f0aa094 semester of 025160a875 his sophomore a31498420c year and 5cac5e4170 attended school f71793cda9 for two 434674d412 or three 306a89872f weeks before 6f61cdb0be suddenly taking ff20838967 a leave 2ce391b671 of absence 28de17aa5a and enlisting. He said the 363715bb55 department had been 7f606f69b2 in an uproar 0995b2faa2 because of it, cfc9bad02d especially the freshmen, fd4e4a9a15 who were apparently 2877e72e36 devastated.dc712dec61bdc1cc

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“Why?”d104985f67077c0e

“It can happen. It’s not like 4d56be1088 taking a leave 92a803ec85 of absence mid-semester 792f543873 is anything unusual.”88f4cd791b458c5a

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It wasn’t unusual, but it wasn’t common either. Was there a reason he had to enlist in the military so suddenly? I decided not to pry, as it didn’t seem polite, so I kept my mouth shut.7a2089ba6c468bf2

“Hyungnim, what kind of 26684f1943 place is the military…?”dbe670f379fd8620

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A freshman, already ac60a890ae overtaken by alcohol, be4842a734 asked Ha Jungyoon, 7b168644ae blinking his unfocused 7df4ac872a eyes with difficulty.90373c34ecced012

“What do you mean 064b82f683 what kind of place 8854e7ac4f is it? It’s the military.”294749301b17da8a

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“…I bet you looked e4ac35d271 good in uniform, hyung.”bc2c9219c247cc12

“I didn’tnotlook good.”d7348ccbb3c2e661

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“So this is what 183e75c8e0 well-founded confidence looks like…”b935ca39c7be92e6

At the 3734bb5f3f freshman’s drunken 58811c774f rambling, Ha 78886d75cb Jungyoon shook 2ed538b2ff his head, 7b34e02ec6 laughing silently.52dd4bffba007184

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He holds 839c057f8d his alcohol a25afc0c4e well.aa0358277cc5c7a4

From what fea41c4099 I’d seen 50325e91b7 so far, d7c5167249 Ha Jungyoon a44e0fd5d9 had drunk b5b12eb5a3 at least 07271e5bc0 two bottles dd850d7067 of soju. Yet, he f610c5b0dc didn’t show 6759694daa any signs aa42833e12 of intoxication. His eyes were ba35896872 clear, and his 9b6f3a8e71 actions and speech a8423b22df were composed.4f45dc3ed1aea647

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“Have a 3213d497fb drink, hyung.”6a2bf6376b864b66

“Yeah.”dda627bc983ffd6d

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On the b4fe8ff79a other hand, dbabbb897a my tongue 9f828da9cd felt a a1bdbfedb2 little, just 8cba854271 a tiiiny 092d554250 bit, sluggish. I bit the 64e9b529aa inside of my 8b4f9e5d6b lip hard. It hurt, 425c7006ba so I df3870157b wasn’t drunk 474e599d83 yet. Still good. After my 3c106e726d personal test 815a33d910 to objectively d61a8bcfa9 check my 94e472a827 condition, I 8a04df5b7f brought my c414496e62 glass to 1b722440db the mouth 8c37099955 of the 9ef8f4d3f7 soju bottle 75a7e6b325 offered by 07a7eda5e4 the junior ce27b5aeda sitting next 3673c6b906 to Ha 6a008e7252 Jungyoon.ef364b91f733a38b

“Hyung, I’m taking c87ab3d44a Management Information Systems e58837cbc0 too.”8e7003a07b20db78

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“Really?”802474707803c581

“Yes. I saw 1cda430398 you on 283cdbddae Monday.”b059940a5c295c8c

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“Okay, let’s get along.”9c7d0079e80756e1

“Yes, sir.”e2e65b71d2f55176

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I chatted 9b1c65287b with the 9c852a8c08 easygoing junior dd44a28186 and we 973cb33cf1 emptied our 54908484be glass. Seeing the 58e72a116b empty soju be6ba94e61 bottle, I 2329fca322 turned to a46ecf95f3 order more fba4c5151e and saw 9cc007fc05 Kim Jooyeon 53f9a1442b and Jung 60f39a9589 Chanyoung whispering 1443bfb8c8 to each 0b71ea5073 other. Kim Jooyeon nodded, and ff136dc0b9 Jung Chanyoung got up. My eyes, betraying my b8ff763f01 will, followed Jung Chanyoung ba3d36d691 as he walked towards adc8abe698 the restroom.453d6af2f81ab88b

Does he need permission to go to the bathroom? He’s already a grown adult? Unbelievable.f7aac243a2b87d4b

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I gulped down ice 2f8104f088 water, crunched on the bd7a2d82e5 ice that rolled into 3bcf9dfd9f my mouth, and secretly ec47e36e3a sighed.53d4224df2de5cf1

Today was truly the 853197b1ca end. The end. I’m going 97af40ef0a to cleanly 66e09574cb organize my 7c07c3e309 feelings. I had to.e0f3d25a7660988f

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Reinforcing my 4760b6159b resolve, I f23a1029c9 downed the 711a9dade5 refilled glass fd35d10b84 of soju 73078a52ff in one fa29a57cfd gulp. I wiped my lips ab71837c71 with the back of d0760f51da my hand and, pretending 85c8128a61 to observe the others, d82210beb3 glanced at Kim Jooyeon. Perhaps because I 3e73da0d95 thought of it a0874a5bdb as the last 3298ebc165 time, it was b88336200b especially hard to 2b2405fd08 stop my gaze 0b417f7273 from drifting towards 079d935402 her today. The feelings had faded 62bbc9d7b9 a lot during my bd91218ada leave of absence, but 3623211a30 it was still a fbb5b9457e feeling I’d harbored for 4f362a82da a year.1be34243ff2182ac

Please just let me 3ca05b7198 look at you today. 0e814a9ca6276fbb

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Because it’s the last time. 0a985c42a763c6c5

Be happy. 4984bb18b9795821

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Have a beautiful relationship. c58a8a4b8b579d92

I might not be able to cheer you on… but I won’t get in your way.7dc013b8bf75ac81

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My eyelids 02c7970e9c felt heavy, 71c2c03a28 slowly blinking 44c48cf711 open and e05266f195 shut.a55993dfd07d090b

Ah, I c1d308f17e drank too c331f259ea much.979b4086cf7affc5

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I bit 8e5a6a875c the inside f8fffac034 of my d90617f13b lip, and 54e67e8135 the pain 7e5b0f1c8f felt dull. A sense 798354a896 of crisis 5961cfd620 washed over d1127a041a me. I was trying 6a855aa285 to organize my d1e1bd06fa hidden feelings and d00d90a23f end things gracefully, d7bed069a9 but if I 3b616cc386 got any more e2acf7f7ff drunk, I’d likely e2f6093d02 become that embarrassing 670dd2852e returning student who 3074ac0371 made a nuisance 81389751db of himself by c0d7cd9b27 drinking too much 45668c57c1 at the start-of-semester 4543f936d7 party.0ba80de7e6b30218

That would be 84c22639f2 like something Choi 2194169650 Taeyoung would do. 06ad2b67d73d17d2

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The thought jolted 534dfca0be me awake.95412690d925a145

Ah, I can’t do that.d4c5c89454a6defa

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I needed to sober 0917d5ff27 up a bit.2ba935298b08ae73

I need 9d7cfcb015 some fresh 9bcff720a7 air. I need a sharp, cb8fd08a56 cold wind to slap 6e07c064be my hot cheeks.2f516c1b3cdd1d38

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Fortunately, I was still capable of rational thought. As I stood up, the junior next to me grabbed my pants. “Where are you going, Hyunsoo hyung?” I waved my sluggish hand to shake him off and went outside. It was only after I stumbled down the stairs that I realized I’d left my padding jacket inside. My body shivered involuntarily.2671ccf49e185857

“This… isn’t March weather. Am I… still 3d06514e57 inCheorwon²?” 43e66ce12dc5572c

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What if 93d6ea63bd I hadn’t ae2b6165ac actually been b5ac13d03e discharged yet, 838c911be5 and I f5f231a3de was still 4ab1de64d9 at the d230369c71 base, and e9b628cc05 this was 3fb279354f all a 6769585efe hallucination brought 92c285917e on by 8d27c91be1 the hardships bf13bbae5a of military 9a804c0694 life?2531895851ee2c02

A sudden goosebumps erupted ab7943d19b all over my body. I leaned against the 1b605cd636 wall of the building, 24b81a361c crossed my arms, and 9f4ed43651 hugged myself.2ae28ddd7373d002

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“Are you c6d6c01ff2 trying to 1591205e9f freeze to 2b02ed8b88 death?”e6fc0fac78e107c4

As I blinked blankly, 36b27bb297 watching people pass by, aede99c036 I heard a disbelieving 63dc32144e voice from beside me. I turned my head ea62a219c7 and saw Ha Jungyoon 34bb4acc4d standing there, wearing a c45becd9cd black coat, looking at 3ef5f34979 me.8db172f11cbf5ad1

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“You…”559770d47bc270fd

“…….”fa3e4ab7ec4c38a2

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“…look warm.”1774eaf5eebaec70

At my earnest 40bcbccf5e words, Ha Jungyoon’s eee0232611 eyes crinkled slightly.475238f8f07605e9

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“Ha.”9121cb269dd61840

Even his 1782cf2a51 exasperated sigh 511b97e08f looked like 0b4a7b449f a scene aa91c6ab89 from a 412f221db3 movie.a04db71baaeae6ea

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“Is that coat c935d42212 expensive?”470fa05698c5ecef

Would I look 66c5bb899c cool if I 08a659f431 wore that coat 7e3b0a60fd too? Would that sleek 49bc69912d coat warm my 57664e5322 empty heart?f7a999e7b58584e6

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“…Is it very expensive?”eeb79e7aea89d764

Even when I 859722d32a asked again, Ha 0eb6c07126 Jungyoon kept his c7a8c1c3a1 mouth shut and 01c4f3013e didn’t answer.e68aab1f47b02ac9

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If I combined de1643abb6 the allowance I 18d9b16626 received from my 42dc1839e1 relatives for being b243c53083 discharged and the 312e6ecfa1 salary I saved 66f00169c1 while in the ef4da35dc2 military, I think ef4abd6097 I could buy d07115d191 it. I’d have e7dfacbb41 to gather 760c5542b9 all my c056aeced3 scattered assets. I started 7ace0e92a0 calculating in da36f24e35 my head, 867d943b2d my mind f0b4357981 feeling heavy. I was e36ed6a447 confident in 77224f65e5 math. After all, I got 9f40b5bcd6 a perfect score on 5c35a37de9 the CSAT math section.5ca81c086ca46a2e

“Huh?”5003f08940f563a7

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Ha Jungyoon, who 43c471e4a5 had approached me 5e60bad27b unnoticed, draped his a9a8e447d4 padding jacket over 39d720f8ee my shoulders.d413726c21248474

“Do I have 2e63240564 to put your 726f46e742 arms in for 814dc33a14 you too?”7e602521583b9d05

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“Wow.”cca94b037cc9cfe1

As I slipped 2faaf41024 my arms into 8423b1a0e3 the padding jacket, c56364638e it felt as 30b9e5738d warm as being 4190e474d7 wrapped in a ba9b93c6b5 blanket.4c954fe449cee218

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“Warm.”1fc3dc3eeed3b1dc

Did I e1e49f0f22 smile too fcd260ad06 stupidly? Ha Jungyoon’s face, which fb065a54e6 I looked at with c038ad7e15 a smile, was devoid 87363b6a5e of any amusement.ce087ae4c2aaeeba

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“Woo Hyunsoo.”0984c1fb3af52790

His tense expression 2da9dae97c looked somehow unfamiliar.92396c331d04987e

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“Want to have 4f729b7a00 another drink, just 14835fe949 the two of ac2c52bfd4 us?”6c6a11ab81c9b47d

Through my blurry vision, I saw my backpack in Ha Jungyoon’s hand.4ae5a9e684406841

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“Just us veterans.”06736d9da6bb0bd7

Did I see de1646e2b9 that wrong?781c1324c870ea10

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When I 61473020ca looked up 136041dd83 again, Ha 3ad36de81d Jungyoon was 77acc1e503 smiling playfully c474292b72 as usual.d81122280d0732dd

* * *8f681550a017956b

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I thought we were 6dab225e6e going to another bar e4743fc3d0 nearby, but Ha Jungyoon b930c98233 called a taxi. The city bb214d1bce lights shone 9d9c9b8eda brilliantly through 96b308fe49 the taxi 44e4bf688a window as a7a61a8992 we sped 99cb51b598 across the 3d29f20b42 bridge. I sank into the f0b2cce08a seat and watched the da72379421 lights reflect on the 1617e8088e gently rippling, dark river 3534900526 below. It seemed to 8c3c5e8f25 sober me up b4480b5cbf a bit. 1c48c505731f18d1

I turned my head f66656c701 to look at Ha b64a425259 Jungyoon beside me. 4364628c2c6caa47

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Wow, how can someone ebd24fa858 be so handsome?e222a5e1f78d9975

“What?”bea734ddba0eb382

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Ha Jungyoon 7f1f5a793e asked, still dea0040db1 looking straight add6b75fef ahead.8d333397ca731be3

“Why are you 7066ed95f4 looking at me 02cc717b94 like that?”4845268e0f420e51

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“Do you have eyes d5e934b22e on the side of 3469bafca1 your head too?”36b4895d725b91ad

“Yeah.”b2ebbe09a76313f3

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“You should be 0edf33463b filial to your 47913f964b parents.” b1c9459946273087

“…I am.”b5192694190eddea

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“Do more. More, more. For giving 8a52df8a41 birth to 18a2387c03 you with 077b0585de that face.”2ea79bfea1c83be3

In my stern words, 758335df1e Ha Jungyoon sighed deeply bb2d606279 and said, “Driver, could ef2d3a740a you go a little 2b50147850 faster, please?” 96f0b561a5714300

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I stared blankly 0d84c74e39 at Ha Jungyoon’s 47741e2025 flushed ears and 383645c65b anxious eyes, thinking…7a595f3ada095961

…Is he in ac5428e537 a hurry to dbad03fbe8 use the bathroom?302cefafb874b34a

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After crossing the river, 08054498e6 the taxi moved away 23e03d37ea from the bustling streets 36edc5fe46 and stopped in front 8fd6d6d578 of a small, single-story 005b069b26 pub.e7c18555dec6d306

“Let’s go.”69014315280cb7e4

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Ha Jungyoon, clutching my backpack, ushered me forward as I stood there blankly. He then followed me closely behind, like a guard making sure I didn’t escape.b2e30b45bdd8aabc

We walked along c4db386483 a stone path ce527aeef1 in a small 7a7473460a garden, past benches 97f44c5c5f with patches of a409e83c0e white paint peeling f2304b4004 off, and…is that… a scarecrow? Or was it a large wooden statue? I couldn’t tell. dbf817eea4d614ca

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We then reached a wooden door with a fogged-up window and as I was about to grab the handle of the doorknob, a hand suddenly reached out from behind me and pushed the door open. I turned my head to look up and saw Ha Jungyoon raising an eyebrow. He looked somehow cool, so I tried to raise my eyebrow too, but it didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped.4f3f183207621e70

“…Just go in.”e5a1fd9c084b86ba

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I wiggled cb6e90e536 my eyebrows 9daa9cc44e alternately, then 2fd64781c0 gave up cf400b1811 and went 5d3bf5d514 inside.f05babd96f6e57bc

Despite it f89b48193c being Friday 23d6794c42 night, the cb3b269290 pub was 29598a1486 almost empty. The atmosphere was a4ae94f346 completely different from c1539540c8 the noisy bar 3abe476cad we had just 395704293c left. I quite liked 9c416b44a8 the quiet interior 06211b7bf7 with soft music e836997915 playing.5924a2a9c1bd6fe4

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I looked d60d3730be around, taking 1fe17a6e15 in the 90c46c3567 surroundings, and 9536137627 then walked 16bb8c8650 over to 9df0f711db the window. Just like the af277adfdc entrance door, the 43577f7631 wooden window frame 849ec446b9 appealed to me. I sat down, a4aac817d0 and Ha Jungyoon 124ab58f22 sat across from 5665368ab1 me. The two-person table 48bf137de5 felt small with 36af2ec4fe two grown men 24b752c0c0 sitting face to 8b45cc57c9 face.c3a3e611fec9a24a

“Woo Hyunsoo.”19ecbb5945c349b6

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I was 4fbc907d30 resting my 2d5bfdc10d chin on 40ae3acb9e my hand, 857d6c08a5 gazing out 9a67735532 the window 4a8a8760e0 at the 968e296dc6 garden we 3381f6b163 had just 532a4e505d walked through a4be5957b2 when Ha 8e8c5de6af Jungyoon called 727f881961 my name.e25c0f9baac81486

“Yeah?”97e4a17a760ba078

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But he didn’t 3bee5dd3da say anything after e3e971a6f5 calling me.e8fe3be521a3edc7

“If you feb3ac49b5 need to bd2413335a use the 8501795dff restroom, go c4f69dcbf0 ahead.”7e84853817d76277

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He had seemed 1a9bb92cfe restless for a aba15df926 while. I said ea1fac72d6 it because 08f89a4cf2 I wondered 3284b5d2b9 why he 4f811f3575 was being 7fe4800d27 shy about 03d13ab514 such a dc0360687c thing, but 5a9a202e75 Ha Jungyoon 744a521a19 hesitated for 21e0b7d250 a moment, 1edaaa4c7a then scratched c2da98b2bd his eyebrow c3b65ea617 and let 4d5e1970e5 out a a8dad07be2 hollow laugh. He then crossed caf114bcda his arms on 8144e2fd2e the table and dc6f727622 leaned towards me. His face suddenly came fa382c2e9e close.20b9d8e46c2814d2

“Can you drink 5604f0dd37 more?”a5fa12e3d6cb5a44

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“Me?”79d3cb7c2a9de142

“Yeah, you.”433196f78813da6b

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If I wasn’t planning to drink, I wouldn’t have come here with Ha Jungyoon.71e5c6da7fce12f5

“If you can’t…”87655c385cbea7af

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“I can drink. Ihaveto drink tonight.”14b0fe0a4ae71670

I cut him off b0bb9e1803 firmly.f157a73cc71b5d0e

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“Because it’s 06e882eed0 breakup day.”21924328717f042d

I used ca1b1023fd to think 1fe26aa88f Ha Jungyoon 31e42b9f09 looked aloof c73b11808a when he e036853aca wasn’t smiling, c9213c50fd but I ee376c3285 was wrong. He looked 2d44c9d806 cold, even 1354a3adb4 a bit d92cad9ed5 cold. I mirrored 7b54e842e0 his expression e34249af88 and said ef08854638 resolutely,15fd5737fcd2ef46

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“I’m breaking b754c0b5be up with 11fa51beee my pathetic 17865951b9 self.”615c9755a5013c10

“…Two bottles of 6e49ed3926 soju, please.”fe0b2c881ed7c698

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Ha Jungyoon 5a24fee274 leaned back, 04abdbe079 raised his 50bc49cdb7 hand, and 6d1d67af88 ordered the 23bbe5ddd1 drinks.a6df2135386426ad

Perhaps because of 66a832f926 the alcohol, or 73f8e5d3db perhaps because of e53d21ff53 Ha Jungyoon’s easygoing 60245c7ef3 nature and ability e7677dc334 to keep the 2e11c80955 conversation flowing smoothly, a7e0bcb769 exchanging drinks and 47f15865d8 chatting with him 6613252f9e was more enjoyable ec87a3809a than I’d expected.6205af50d4ae3097

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“This isn’t a 8c1b7bd059 dream, is it?”958615b04e732d93

“A dream?”482ebf2029936583

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“I’m wondering if 8b75a6eb10 I’m still in e5f1c95235 the military, dreaming d525495e70 about being discharged.”8818b8f05196ee01

“Ugh. Don’t say such horrible a685c972b4 things.”4520dcd510dca0c2

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“Oh, sorry.”3cf18e39cdc15ff1

I apologized quickly and ff9dbe6f54 raised my glass to 3d4fd16451 clink it against Ha 4d6af60afc Jungyoon’s. With the e883abf774 impact, the 360ab79d7d clear liquid b3d2ae6828 in my 09f0ee5385 full glass fa9fd2bd15 sloshed over 073f5da67a the rim. I stared blankly 118c0167ae at the overflowing 0097af0b89 alcohol, still holding db830aa7a7 the glass.57b7c20f4b01eb28

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“Are you staring at it so sadly because it’s a breakup drink?”463a6f9747a0bc8b

“…Not really.”cbdb69594b877e71

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“…….”fb9046ccda78eaa6

“I don’t know if 0101f9cabe I’m sad or not. Is this sadness? I feel 1398205b65 kind of f1844857db relieved too.”020ca1115242ca35

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“Hyun…”a2323c61931cbbf3

“Ha Jungyoon.”8a32e84a1c6204cf

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We called bde08110eb each other’s 496eb95ad4 names at 8b4935d0af the same bccb5aa64f time, and 3a84f01db5 Ha Jungyoon 87a242b7ea closed his 6d229fad42 mouth to 1715ed216e let me a0d22eca91 speak first. Then, as 327b0c958b I just 820264af9e stared at 944eeaa1d1 him silently, 9f9811be58 he leaned e1530a0e72 back slightly. Keeping my 10c7858e86 eyes fixed 14edbd32a0 on him, 9cd6ba5c77 I downed 586628adff my drink ac257c8d52 in one c582abb5d6 gulp.aaa9c9b191d1c3e8

“Phew.”51d215d9f267b531

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“…What is it?”e4b99168b6ec847c

“Can I 8e10d96e75 ask you 555689847f something?”fe2399389d341692

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“Why are you being 9d85c264e6 so serious?”e95fdcb4f39dcdf2

“Can’t I?”20fb9bd53c4cb7d8

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I was 9fb6795a0d being quite c26845f130 serious, but 0fac576d58 Ha Jungyoon 3dbdfd06f3 chuckled. Then, he crossed his 2273f56889 arms on the table 0b384e987a again.187bad62603f32a1

“Ask away.”f23809cda882c137

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“…….”fe3b9c7e7f167d80

“Go ahead d7f45a1d4e and ask.”cbe807f272c876f1

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“Okay. Since you gave me 9114db05e8 permission, I’ll ask.”87101eec5b4cfbc2

“Yeah.”09ebfda731c1f83d

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“You… uh…”692208fbceae5030

Even after receiving his permission, my tongue hesitated. I felt like maybe we weren’t close enough for this kind of conversation yet, but I couldn’t suppress my curiosity.a7f14c8e82656489

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“That, that thing.”0ce64f024bde1106

“Yeah.”c7f8a55a02f1fe9f

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“Is that thing true?”9158722ca56204c1

“That… thing? Could you be more specific about which exactly you’re referring to?”a18ae4054ec945d3

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Unconsciously, my eyes drifted c86d0ffd5e and settled on a 7f0ea0f668 certain part of Ha dccf9da268 Jungyoon’s body under the 3bdd90a604 table. Ha Jungyoo shifted in d4e32e3333 his seat, crossing his 69d7bf07e8 arms and looking at 00f82853cf me suspiciously.6a6153b0004d96c6

“That…”934a90b6795068dc

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I hesitated, stalling, then 73ed14e270 blurted it out, giving 814c682ff6 up.18a4495b63f005c4

Whatever. Everyone knows anyway.4212a8db6783cb24

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Ha Jungyoon f24e58d577 had said 5f5227f221 it himself, d3e45de910 with his b1a75181f4 own mouth, 5e6d780503 at the 679c434d29 freshman orientation.b51a308d7f8520cb

“You, that… do you 440faa5262 really have no experience 9082fac57e with women?”b9d4242fef23776d

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Even though I c673add469 was drunk, I 871aa1779f could feel my 0f14e5d6f2 face burning with 42c1124a57 embarrassment.fb59008b15878a8b

“Were you that curious?”ae4f9c74c8c5ede3

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Ha Jungyoon 64068a7b7b let out c74887eebe a hollow 7fe19a0c1c laugh, as 9c5c32cf33 if exasperated.9077d10dcfd171a2

“…Of course.”ee867dcf8d4ede1b

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“How did you 8d4e436ffa know? You didn’t 402039a736 even come 40fa8961ba to the 079757e64a orientation.”21860984bdf1c422

“Come on. How could I not be6b9a10cb know? Even if I 3951b44325 didn’t go, it’s 83e3b5711b impossiblenotto know. I bet no one in the Business Administration Department doesn’t know. You have no idea because you weren’t there, but people are still arguing about it. Saying you lied, or that it’s true, and so on.”cc8ca7eab67f941d

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“Well, it’s 3feabc06c3 an interesting 1da0f51a26 topic.”9ac027df9010c9d1

“Yeah! That’s what c26c1fdc7d I’m saying!”241134882fdece09

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As I agreed a196ae8a0e vehemently, Ha Jungyoon 65931e381a stared at me b4492de3e9 and then tilted 55a6639c0a his head slightly.8401122fde944027

“Want to know?”28171081c868ad18

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“…Yeah.”15dbbc94e6737d35

I really 9647a44180 wanted to 90b7b16ab9 know. I was 89bfd60bc3 genuinely curious. Part of it c173f343c5 was simple curiosity 08cebaee31 like everyone else, 255cc1f004 but more than 1c212d8682 anything, I secretly 57c0241340 felt a sense 87cfb2be7e of camaraderie with 15da387665 Ha Jungyoon.35b4730e0533e4d9

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“I’m curious. Whether it’s true or 010f933d10 not… If you don’t 9546c09621 want to say it, 8c3afa2533 you can just signal fe024db85c with your fingers…”1085ae7e6a16192a

My obsession 924b6e27ba with his 57de44dfeb private life 92414d613d seemed a 1977ffc22a bit foolish, e9a565c330 even to c2e22586f9 me, and cc1e858a92 my voice 9d61b409b9 trailed off.183de51ecd2355c3

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“It’s true.”ff0c665b850e84bc

My head, which 08a1ece31f had been drooping, 1a69fc7d09 snapped up.f52e3ab905417038

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“…Really?”24d94dedc277a40e

My eyes 63d724863d widened, and 32c61a604b I gulped. Ha Jungyoon shrugged nonchalantly.115e817b704c2e08

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“Yeah. I’ve never slept c505254b22 with a woman.”55cd66e8136dfa55

“Wow… wow… wow…”7b8d2545bc5d5a4d

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As I fc7664ea49 stammered, letting debbb8ade1 out only 7c9f31cfb3 exclamations of 562ede4e59 surprise, Ha 355e9b6da5 Jungyoon rested 3b22bf8b3c his chin 50cba417c2 on his 270a8200d3 hand and 92baf08568 asked,61fcc48f36e6f2ea

“Is it that surprising?”50bbdcf93033efa7

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“Yeah.”7511cbe92eaf7ae1

I answered sincerely, without a moment’s hesitation. I envied Ha Jungyoon’s confidence and was relieved by his answer. It wasn’t strange; even someone as perfect as him could be inexperienced. 0c14dfcf4b48b780

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Ah, but 82b072c8f9 that’s not fc1512a660 right. d9cda3a29ffb119f

Ha Jungyoon d0aba62a6e was still 2dbec5abe4 different from f23c709165 me. His situation was 307179cfc8 by choice, while 7610bb90de I… My shoulders f854095781 slumped as I d1424ba389 thought about it.c99065e76331f57c

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“But, you know…”0d5515dac7fa5977

“Yeah?”a7534cbb536f1a2f

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“Why? I mean, dd70968890 why did ae91deb4d7 you say e31038d87c that? You didn’t 4ea4b72f90 have to.”38184705dd7f0132

As I asked, f12752025c my vision swam. A wave of abf8c2894f drunkenness washed over 91383ef56f me.a1e94b94bf2085c3

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“It was 22c5a8f6aa during a d1be6398d4 truth-or-dare game.”16609fc1df1dbdf0

“Still. You could b59841f14b have just 171f7a64f2 dodged the fe4fb787d6 question. It’s an 180b4c4f00 awkward, sensitive, 87c871a912 and very 3f1d5eb773 personal question.”3cd022b9f11ad362

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“Well, I didn’t e040d9324b feel the need 82bebdecfa to.”c78784459a53e68b

“Wow… you’re really confident.”2f39d981c7265bed

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“I am.”d0696e2a934bb6cf

“Did… you not have 448f9639ea a girlfriend?”56fc21d3d2f0ccb7

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Was he the c030c2151b type to avoid d86cca0677 relationships because of 111ca2361c his studies? I asked 231176ee05 in a a5b985d6e5 near whisper, f46859cd55 and Ha 72a0348119 Jungyoon smiled 946a9afad8 strangely and 3de633fa5a emptied his 61b137a5f5 glass. I filled my own e4a9ee2c2a glass with soju and 904f158d83 downed it in one 167c4137cd shot.ac23f47ead3b1444

“Woo Hyunsoo, I think f7bdc1c113 you should stop drinking.”f7d9cf97d18c1f1e

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“It’s fine. That’s not important 781a1fca26 right now.”c98f2af33beef241

“Is it really e405d66d14 that important to 6ac11c7300 you whether or aa376e6b8d not I have d4380efa5f experience with women?”19d8a5ad5fde6e76

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“Yeah.”6858736d79091f24

I affirmed immediately, 58ef5b13f6 and his smiling d7a82ff651 eyes hardened as ce3ef8602e he looked at a09ccf96b6 me. The alcohol began to 016aa9f0f0 race through my bloodstream.fe142f78754a0ef5

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“…Why? Why is a648b7c749 it so 29a7381793 important?”6a6ee5c3eca0b65b

In my blurry, alcohol-hazed d3a9cd6ff4 vision, Ha Jungyoon seemed 006ff6617a to waver. b97b8a13ecfb8568

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Yeah, whether it was 66cf397813 by choice or not, 5093cea94d the fact that Ha 3818df0029 Jungyoon was also a 2fcf8d9b27 virgin suddenly evoked a 393bbb405b sense of camaraderie, reminding 23e91a9c60 me of the comrades 304be1bf68 I left behind in eddacadc52 Cheorwon.9fa690f002c01a12

Am I crazy? e0347eb400e120be

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Am I just a 26035ae465 typical veteran college student? 00d2a22daa59377d

Why do I bd72b3237c keep thinking about bacc459845 the military? 3a5a007219037b30

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No, that’s not the 1e47429344 point.807f46da88a1392a

“Ha Jungyoon.”f78134fc0ae0a98e

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“…….”0bff067a3ded82d9

“Me too.”1970682405303eb1

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“…What?”ab56b3fa5ed6d53e

I leaned forward, 343dab1642 bringing my face e4f30666b9 close to Ha 0f07fcd4d7 Jungyoon’s, and covered 4cdbd92ec2 my mouth with 2755a9e203 my hand. I tried 84d31dfe70 to lower fb1d10c5fe my voice, 6f80cae73a but my c3a8502907 strained, hoarse cb9eae1488 whisper came db9b433d8e out loud ba9558c5c9 and clear.21c052673e1ae2dc

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“Me too. I’ve never slept 249e0a9432 with a woman 32af098f09 either. You have to 1c2a99371f keep it a 043eb49b50 secret.”ab0ba766ab581981

“…….”62e5a25c3865f622

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“I… have 717be3b505 erectile dysfunction.”b51dbdca3fb07569

“…….”1da2d4e3b1f25a89

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“My ex-girlfriend dumped me 24c4f3065a because I couldn’t get 8337696257 it up.”c0c590a8f527a13a

 867d1978b80c6b36

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