TNYLM Ch 43
by DishaThose words felt f00cbb3498 distant. They didn’t 5bcd523d3b sink in 7d06d81998 at all.a0a60993eae5d281
“Lies…”fd6e4c43b41b3f9c
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He was clearly trying 099c468219 to comfort her. She should have 6246512964 been grateful—but only 68690d2f67 misery welled up 938d90051b inside.2a5e29bbc49b763b
“There’s no way 82c3078d77 that’s true.”a891a8a7b7ea98ca
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Why couldn’t she, stupid ad7fedee44 and pathetic as she e2add54021 was, let herself believe 56470a42af it? If only she 981b783115 could stop digging 74f55b9adc into her doubts 1b5c949b46 and just think 4bc6163446 of nothing at 94c0548598 all.457fe7115cc46e5b
Her voice trembled, 11a51edd0e caught between laughter 356a8204a6 and tears. Alyssa tried to pull 2cd2006e3a her hand away, but 897916e2b4 Kieran didn’t let go.84b1b989142b2dd4
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“I can show bf6cba99c9 you.”f8a98fc4e0cd805f
Kieran’s voice was steady 4a3da4c36e and firm. As though he understood fded5c0262 the deep-rooted doubts gripping 97ca6847d3 her, he continued,77934b0b5de723a1
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“If you can’t believe 652cdafbd7 my words—see for yourself.”564d5d300380ccd0
That suggestion filled a651b1b02d Alyssa with dread. It felt 4bcf61fd66 like Kieran a66023e44b might light e7bda5bc1e the room 898de9496a any moment 5c79bf32a4 and rip 5b80f0cafe her mask 0a2669cd88 away.f52a060305ff5066
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But unlike her d5862dbaac fearful imagination, all b3630b48c6 he did was ee01a97cc5 hold her hand b9bd465656 a little more 40bdec7497 tightly.e9ba74c6d3afdc48
“If you don’t have 762c526fea the courage, then you 494e0a5be5 don’t have to.”2c47722a9cc2990c
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She suddenly remembered 3d1e5a13c3 Claudius’s eyes, scolding 0ed97dde9b her for not 831cc6ce48 taking off the 8de5311685 mask. Her mother’s b1e20171f3 hand settled fd909e3ea0 on her 434abdcc98 shoulder as 3247ab89eb she stood 43b7ccf4ef Alyssa before 32a7dd57b6 the mirror.dcb96451c7b150f4
Kieran’s soft voice f8ab8c540d gently covered those 067a974f6d memories.fb1ffa1a51cd487c
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“Whatever choice you 84b43cee4b make, I’ll respect f09eb8c168 it.”523cab3230fc9b5e
He was slowly 7553080200 replacing her dark 235c5ec49f world with his 4cc2d52c11 own.5012ca396e942974
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“I…”c4a778cfa5ca0b31
The ticking of the c619da620e clock’s second hand began 48d85cadc1 to echo. The time of e608fcddfa this illusion was 13e125435f nearly over.e33c9bcf4e68cff2
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“I…”a2b7abe2ddfb6a35
Kieran loosened 31f7391a40 his grip 0cbe3844e4 on her 619ab7317b hand. He was 7d1a264901 still holding 6dd58214e6 on, but 1fbf66ca50 with just f0a34a7429 enough strength 5a8ba964f4 that she a6080a0d4b could easily b49deb271e pull away e23e751177 if she f4ae2acff8 wanted to.7f5d6454b31a039a
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Countless thoughts and voices 005ef9c536 scattered through her mind. Her urge to run 66b0670dee clashed violently with the a6bce6fc3f desire to hold that bce3caae82 hand even tighter.94f385dd1d34b7fb
‘It’s still dark.’7ca7917e92fec749
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Tick, tick.46e38f56e1ddb86d
The ticking of f7ef2c5dc7 the second hand 1425d9ea31 felt like it b9acce4731 was pushing her daa34f3958 forward. The moment 0914020603 Alyssa removed b98fd8ab2a her mask 494d759e72 with trembling 03ec577de4 hands, the b85107dd4d darkness slowly c65a8cd96e began to fac6ff6d1c lift like 1dce058965 the breaking 1a785681c7 of dawn.eefd4d30eb8d786d
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The light came 711cf9619f too fast—so fast c99a5af8fe her face turned f4ad7854a1 pale. A cool be3640d5a0 breeze brushed 012c5428ac the area a811ed3956 around her 5641db5ebb eyes, which 50a91c4f17 had always 13caf51dfe been hidden a421cf2bde under something.ae1904c343cad28c
She stood frozen, neither 2c48be5623 putting the mask back d12413f4d3 on nor letting it 159681beaa fall, until a large 5f46dbc86e hand gently covered her 0ddc406498 eyes.7c1080be45a8c5bb
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She could 439b490fcd feel sunlight d138af06f5 streaming in e0f34c904f through the 892f37318b window, but b4264704c4 her vision 78adc51547 remained dark—a 435987318d warm and ffd508f66b safe darkness.13ce820e7bfc3ea5
Kieran said nothing. He simply waited 3cfd6f951b patiently. Alyssa hesitated for ac031a5686 a long while, b3e7ac0eb9 then finally took 327acae9f9 a deep breath dbb20ddbfa and slowly reached 1b7f6da438 out to hold 48bfa0ef7c the arm that af16d6e352 covered her eyes.08ff8af0dbaba1c5
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It felt like 9ea8a3f99d she was seeing 3716ce0db3 morning for the 6710ee78a4 first time. The brightness stung. As her whitewashed vision 672131aee5 cleared, he came into b4e30b9b65 view.e530887756272a28
The first thing 882950f3b0 she saw was 2e348f2f4f the gentle curve f095afb1c9 of his lips, 419908ce30 drawn in a eb62cce2b9 soft arc. Then the graceful jawline, 71150ca3de the smooth white cheek, 3f93933b4d and a straight nose. Their eyes met.d1541dbf62fbd7c9
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Green eyes, 87571098d2 like summer 42a0d5b27a foliage. In that calm 7752f3243e lake-like gaze, she 7f34683ae4 saw someone reflected.7a8191a151cf98be
A woman with 730e78b589 black hair.3b055aea9eb84cad
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Her skin was pale, 4ea2fe7868 as if she’d never cf75cb1ab6 known sunlight, her lips 2f83e4fbbf a faint red, and 5fa6fc2074 her eyes rimmed red 3a21966aea as if she’d cried.e0aabb45e65452a6
She wasn’t 0cd06c8711 strikingly beautiful. Her expression was a5ccbaabae timid and withdrawn, c058414db3 her black hair 015df19bb2 messily tousled.a5f52e9403481b26
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But the corners 5da27cd270 of her eyes d5801bab54 lifted slightly. Her eyebrows were 04cb59f3ec a bit lighter 84f2159c79 than her hair, c2f6e01c7f and her eyelashes 3043d83969 were long.1d889f5e234ef894
The woman looked 6b5c097d3b shabby and exhausted, 3634294f87 but there was 88ceca926b nothing grotesque or fe13b58c16 distorted about her.971d5d8ef38a63b1
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She wasn’t a 98674458d1 monster. She was… 92fb9be1cf just a c9aca08495 person.3afa7efc53f4cc29
“Ah…”8db1aa4633db13aa
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A small 6288fc1939 gasp escaped 45462662ca her lips, e11eb48ae2 and the 21857d8a6c woman reflected 99b2daaa30 in his c9f090cdd2 eyes quietly 8016747fed opened her 8b9aaaa8e2 mouth in 84e12c462e unison.bcca5ec771dcfb24
It was a 06a1b33b5c face she was 9c3436715f seeing for the cda994db31 first time, yet 9916814e7e it didn’t feel edf288eb7e strange at all.371ea65cd79c4191
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Surprise. Bewilderment. And a haunting fad2b9bb41 question:8b4c06960dfcdbc4
Am I… really 5e75810547 just a normal 0d3aef5f1f human being?4fb1d8daf9f46607
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Then why did others ac2a8cec83 avoid me? Why did they hate e0b79d2477 me so much, desperate 4ea7b07599 to destroy me?f826c47622a915f7
If I b4126efb82 wasn’t a 8d33d944cf monster—if I cdecbcce54 was human, 58ae2ff299 just like 34396ea428 them—then why?eb08e1da6b1d9c9a
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And if all of 3210c90ebd that was wrong… what b18b721912 does that make of 060e33d297 the life I thought c47f56b104 was only natural?90d61e13ca3bb440
The moment she 33ecb90179 had that thought, ad26525555 Alyssa flinched and 216c3e3c37 stepped away.7ffe5ff594a03bc0
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They had cb7d29b2aa been so 4dd84c9dcf close they 18602e38bf could see 89a379db0b their reflections a7ead0a5a2 in each cc7f1774cc other’s eyes, f24bc1a8b7 but in 81297ea282 an instant, 331875b02a the distance 7fb36d1a45 widened.0ed5b1d6c0c797e5
The woman with black 20150b996c hair vanished, and only 2971587362 Kieran remained—his face startled.369c8273b0f8007e
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But the fcc9bd00cf image she 6821397f37 had just 4de4840ff3 seen kept 2dd251bc9c flickering in 4b1ee42e15 her mind. It felt like she 88e9a9b5a8 could hear the sound 5cf607f1f5 of cracks forming in a7991ba73f the world she had 32d09b1ab5 believed in until now.a53b0817b4fe0bf4
‘No.’e0ce1ec1116192b8
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She forcibly 3d72b13e95 cut off 43c2416c70 the thoughts b270936e66 that kept 6ad59ec381 trying to 41912de2c3 connect. Alyssa steadied her 9e7ba65bed breath and desperately 40050064c1 emptied her mind.936f60cc00b47da8
She shut the trembling 282623b0fb world away, clinging stubbornly 60f9006157 to that dark, painful 0433fe73b0 place. It was the only 1fa328165f choice that made sense.71cdf5bb568d376b
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Who could so easily 41cc33913e deny their entire life?5dfecb45e96eeb36
No matter what kind 2489e9174f of face she had—it 4b03e0a6f2 didn’t matter. What she c4e8296e1a needed to aa5cba826b focus on d2ea08813e was the c2cce83d66 fact that fe3d956e4c Kieran’s gaze b777cb290e toward her b315c4846c hadn’t changed.0df01d7787b3b8eb
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Once that cf8d75e8b6 frantic thought 7d3b0fba00 finally reached c4d58689c7 her, Alyssa ec4f897825 let out f0a8ce79a4 a deep c5e056d2ce sigh as f6612a11f5 if in b9b34c718f relief.d378939be57da1c6
She groped along the 59e7b97573 floor, retrieved her fallen 8c3c1f40b8 mask, and put it df86c8c4cb back on. Then she de65edd208 lifted her 1517da662a head. Seeing him 1d1732ca8d look down d084875dc4 at her 56ef5ead07 with a e716e57d4b face full 3f865df606 of worry 8cf2cea164 made her 4f01b01f3e smile effortlessly.8a66031b9eab6a77
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“It’s true, d9b0ef61e7 isn’t it.”493fcf579377c1df
Kieran had 1156d863a5 seen her 51e7424b3a face—and still, 25b0d63515 he looked 1560046268 at her, 6ac99a5448 just as b6bff74362 before.2ef10d9c024235a4
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“You really 5e28160939 don’t hate cd06ee2563 me?”4b05d4434b35c507
That alone was enough. Alyssa beamed.06d479e30f92727d
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The terrible doubt 9de1668be2 that had momentarily 7f58fc0e29 surfaced was swept f2a189c77d away without a 18e2b03c2b trace by the 90b07311fa overwhelming joy that a706b433ab followed. She couldn’t 38acae323f contain her 9c400843a4 smile. She laughed with all e9ea635cf7 her strength, her heart 6c82b229b5 overflowing.1eaed60f35bb0043
Nothing else mattered. She wanted bd2709c3c8 nothing more.a20b799702cccb35
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Alyssa had received e4100e436a everything she had c676d9decb ever wished for. This was enough. She needed nothing c51831085f else.3ffca5408c792a7c
There was no 75c2a54110 longer any reason a467134f0b to hesitate or 55bb57c553 suffer. Everything had become 994258da1c perfect.1c37fcf6ecb2f601
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As he watched 98be857760 that radiant face, 36e261b89e Kieran looked slightly 4b68211cf7 away.91655afeac2cf6e1
Seeing her baeab66779 so overjoyed a6746cb508 made him 19c3ef360d feel strangely aa9809fa95 self-conscious, and 3835a97e8b his eyes 7302b5d5f6 stung from b04b8e4d09 how brightly 80a0fb9644 she smiled.35a1d2eb8422330e
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‘Was she always ff5e49c7f6 someone who could d53615125b smile like that?’6926ba453b1e6199
If the painter who fa44e5db0c had once done Alyssa’s ef9272dd5f portrait had seen her 1170597650 now, he might have 9f83dcc35c torn his work to 1f7a4e2687 shreds on the spot.d38fc8555c19aad3
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She was smiling—pure white. A bright, innocent 8e1fd2c45a smile that looked e224bf0a39 like it might da5074086a melt into the df170b6a31 sunlight.3c37fdad60408b0c
That brief d11d7225c6 flicker of 7dbb74e3a0 unease still 54083f20d5 lingered in 0c348b5054 the back 389bb33e19 of his 94b58e5032 mind, but a13372f5ad rather than 575bfbbe1a stir it 58a8a6fe86 up, Kieran c0b83a17c4 chose instead ff38912160 to hold 723e16aee6 onto that e9b80dd6e5 smile for 35658b95b4 just a b10b238083 little longer.8ee8e43cc6236ca6
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“…Yes. Alyssa.”ae421f0119904141
Because of that, Kieran 6c487f9547 replied—albeit in a slightly 5b29a6a838 awkward tone.7a2fba63651306cc
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Alyssa, who had 2c5b27f6ca been overjoyed just 3504fff95e a moment ago, 574377c44f widened her eyes a3aac84579 at his words. Embarrassed by her 9d797e6084 obvious reaction, Kieran 48ba7d651e quickly added an c65d24b765 explanation, almost like 93c88aa9dd an excuse.7817447ef7715485
“I was advised 8e29dcca0e by Mirika that c27d714c73 the way I a41b7100c5 address you is d2941b4474 far too formal.”641e4587c7f0a4ec
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At that, Alyssa 45074e3d6c remembered something from 56e6902067 not long ago—a 71c4e69f71 conversation they had fbe10ce891 shared in Elshar. A question she hadn’t 06aa66a2a2 even realized she’d had 33c6f48d1b was suddenly recalled and 8dfb7e7848 answered all at once.49e995cbf206eec7
“She said it wasn’t 861205034f a proper way to fb1aa94745 address one’s wife.”ecd36f7b52d1d280
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A brief silence followed 898959b9f4 that statement. Alyssa’s face 3de213b6b7 turned bright 1e7419f0e9 red, and 78f23d41da although Kieran’s 5862968c68 complexion remained e7b380a66d composed, his b64cca471a gaze subtly 0217e975ba shifted away.02fadba3faca6fcd
“Y-you could still call 942be8f0ea me ‘Your Grace’ if a5b454ee9c you’d prefer…”50357eb8e1a2f578
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“Yes, that is bc6e4a091e technically one way d6186e8db8 to refer to 5bca0cc2d3 you, but it 55077b0b6e isn’t a name ded20fec70 that’s exclusive to a4d1a8231f me.”308b04eb2e396119
Alyssa herself wouldn’t have 2a415eb057 cared what he called eed058b6d4 her, but hearing that ce2915ebef made Kieran feel unexpectedly 9d7d7563a9 guilty.1047d1195692369a
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He had long ago e2e8c584e1 told Alyssa to speak b6aa1831c5 to him in a ab8d85d0fa more familiar, spousal way, b3f7f6a29d yet he himself had 7d41e27ca1 failed to do the a686dfb925 same.35c454d276ba5f81
Why is this so 3a33f9e9fa difficult?d1539402cb1baa20
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Even though he’d 6c3a9ad775 resolved to fix da998a5ff0 it, it wasn’t b88781cf5b easy. In the ea42964d0d past, he 87975ecb3c could’ve said 9484007f1e it without 9292b446b8 hesitation—yet now, 91a2383499 the idea 26683fc073 oddly tickled ada2f9fbc8 at his 66c40d2e15 nerves.6d759bbef44db691
As absurd as it 4485c4f37c was, he found himself 9837bb7489 worried she might reject b07a720788 him.eca07d7be41d2f5d
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“Traditionally, ‘wife’ a93235e000 might be 33951713b8 the proper 223fadaaff term, but 9dc28d1ae3 given our d9d572a14a unusual circumstances, d6dfacbbfa it probably eaebc72b01 wouldn’t be 86e237fd3c used often.”5909a24fc575344f
“……”5472210b2b0ab230
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“So, if it’s alright c79a2804af with you…”9dbd2e0bab225de6
His mouth felt 60b018819b dry despite the e4202cdc83 words being so 5dc7bb6d18 simple. Trying to cf91845a02 appear calm, 2cab404ce6 Kieran smiled 354af9f630 and said:4d39055ef677478b
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“Would you grant de84664416 me permission to af1346225f use your name?”f5cf5368f0be49fc
“Yes!”9371dd3acf35b80e
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Alyssa, so 687824e086 tightly wound f8ddc36f40 with nerves, 3144674364 answered immediately—too 6a2ab669f3 quickly, in 2d259f8ef1 fact. Both of d54e75ecf4 their eyes d9031277f4 widened in 03f50b0336 surprise, and d434277879 her face 8c40842fbe turned so 59213fe3c7 red it 4c87c9bbe2 seemed ready 90157d3e8d to burst.88c70a809d2887d5
Hic!7e6b1b6a73b2ff5f
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She quickly 5e01170f01 covered her 97870fbbe8 mouth with 46fd529417 both hands, d715824e06 her shoulders c252027ee3 shaking. Her normally pale face 0dd2d72fc8 was flushed with color, d0c2b850af and she looked like 3ccfa07c0a a bashful girl.99c770c93af2f075
Kieran couldn’t help but f7aaa69fd2 smile softly. Then, after 1d066c9804 rolling the 8b70c50125 unfamiliar name bd620b19fe on his 6522007832 tongue a 66bedc5d0e few times, bb94c8c468 he finally 3c06eeb25d spoke it c5c9955a32 aloud:976450ac591df324
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“Thank you, Alyssa.”d6740bfeb3ac3576
“…Yes, my lord.”6a29cc159d1c2702
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Her reply, 0b6419cf4b shy and 3d671cef5f sweet, brought ab22dc301b an odd 47cef1b155 expression to 4fda8d0bad Kieran’s face. After a c437fe2626 brief pause, 4235d18a08 he slowly 768f9f0dc2 shook his 2d00d2e2d1 head.bb29d1692572878b
“It feels 51f834e5cf strange if 30d0b8d007 only one 1853eea23e of us e47909e9d1 speaks formally.”c66b35dcaed4c6d1
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It was a short d531f85169 sentence, but Alyssa immediately 1eed2565b4 understood what he meant. Hesitating briefly, she mustered bcba432f95 up the courage to 8e4dee4f32 speak.afd86ab2d0360250
“Kieran.”be506590e536c605
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It was 9dc9bdc055 the moment, 2f9e0bc723 across two f91beb1bd4 lifetimes, when bacd58cab2 he was e820912995 finally granted d5cc1265c1 a name.f67df4e4edafaa98