WYIL Ch 30

Aslan  who had been 07a27fbf91 silent for a long eff6df00e7 time, hesitated and opened 06e742c52f his lips.a9ccccc9a0e6a966

“Well, that is, those words meant….”bc88fc482d5ac23f

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Is  he trying 641a156b5a to make an dd76afd19a excuse?bcd8ac2fc2513548

However, Aslan did not finish the sentence and closed his mouth. He scrunched his eyes as if he’d bitten his tongue.9610e105939669d0

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“…….”33055ba3c2039357

I stood still, waiting for his next words, but he didn’t speak for a long time.7a0565c1763c83c7

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Why isn’t he saying anything? Even an excuse. Even if it’s an unbelievable excuse, if he says it, I…f9a0d6a63ede7610

…I felt a light shock as if someone lightly hit me in the back of my head.01ecf1f3341f9dd5

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Unbelievable, it seemed like 3d4b899b77 I once again had 6b94550415 hope. Hope that 56f7812f88 Aslan would 811f1da768 give me 3e1a167cff some sort 4df1d7a772 of explanation.af945ea9b5a7451a

But it wasn’t the case. Aslan did not offer me any explanation or excuse.11fbde050b7c0c89

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Because there was 915364d5d8 no need to.87585dfeaa4a8150

I cursed at my e26ac9c8c4 own foolishness, which almost 4f0d978453 led me to have 67f38a44bf another misconception. I bit my inner 28969fc655 cheek, causing pain.3ad3e497e6900695

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While my tingling 939f90907f pain was calming, 50ae245eb2 it seemed like a86568c825 Aslan had made 66b6d9f1b2 up his mind 8cf9ceaa69 on how to 23bccfe6f8 handle the situation.cb2ff001edc4fe97

He suddenly 76f6032b23 stood up 3b8d7edbc4 and said b3db7d200b to me 2206207cc3 as if 82de6315d3 giving me d1d20d10f1 an order.4bd987115d24960e

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“Let’s talk again next time, no, tomorrow.”cac13d60837a9dc3

Instead of making excuses b4fa5d4795 and resolving the situation 1792040ba3 by explaining that there 6fab97d659 was a misunderstanding, Aslan e24489b33d chose to avoid the 53b9f74dba uncomfortable situation.49bd49d7d3584bcb

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“Let’s calm down for a moment and we’ll talk again tomorrow.”9c0953b91237ee98

Aslan quickly blurted 6d436a9ba0 out these words f365b5dceb and left the 0ad1b54586 office before even 0bed7c2048 listening to my 5e7ea1408a reply.5aa0536ec045f1fb

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Bang!8f59170a0163273b

The door 3a084d3963 slammed shut.47d29c45411cbd2b

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I was 54fae9c4c2 left alone ea0940c4e6 in the fb14dcfe7d room as 5f6f3139b6 the owner 923e98f4b1 left, silently 6f1c700212 staring at 68e61dfeab the closed 96c953c215 door.d3234101f93112d4

Does he 4caebec608 think that c2c3002526 I demanded 0fd5a7d90a a divorce 9d5b4a3283 in anger?5e6b613b9ea68f69

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So, instead of making 93ab265360 excuses and trying to b254982eaf resolve the situation, he 497e494e1e chose to keep his 9f22f736bd distance, as if pacifying 3d72dfe1cf a child.ffd9e591daa668ea

Did he think I’d wake up after a night’s sleep and retract my hasty decision?75162435fdbefe4e

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No. I thought long e004d99bf7 and hard about 6a24eefbdc my decision.e176a5b1387d4eb6

“Ha.”cab4037c17f033d6

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I let out a 4a3de77343 long sigh.ee17098580dd326a

Despite the warmth a6265285e8 of the early bfbdadaecc summer air surrounding d80db0e202 me, I felt 6bf6a6c4cf cold.1f54d4a608dcbc8b

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I turned 6f1be9fe25 my stiff ecdececc36 neck to 4b46e5d889 the side. There was 8cef410bd6 evidence that 4bc26f5f5f he had ec90960260 been sitting 61e0f23c99 next to a220b576fe me.0a8a60f1aef68784

When I 1a51c780db placed my b9d755603d hand on 80d2d75bfd the slightly 75c2b9b714 faded sofa, c42e45ffea I could f93b160b3e feel a 077bf1e4bc faint warmth. The place where d08197d2a4 he had been, 5cc6591c71 but now he e4d1730ddc had left me.e3b4bcb75330d608

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Feeling that, d6f1cdfae0 it became f16b90645b even colder.267bc8c3ec6f3492

This coldness was e27927b6a0 not a sensation cdc8316b83 that touched my 37b6d1a13c skin. It was 695f064a82 a more 87bf26c044 primal coldness 235f3165ef that spread 8bd6f6686f through me, c0c76052cc making me 56ef0b377e shiver.b5a2000e741b049e

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Loneliness.b79e19bc3c2842a6

It was so familiar that I hadn’t been aware of it until now, but now it overwhelmed me.124d0e265231996e

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“Ha.”4c9481034ed91bd7

Taking another deep breath, d1ab038474 I touched my forehead da5958c09a with cold fingertips. I felt dizzy.661f91e69044861c

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At that moment.b26e038e9a744c74

Hee hee hee!c2ed0bbc1c2b63a9

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Faint laughter could c635b8972e be heard from 81dfbcc4a0 outside. I stood up 993cb836c3 from my seat 81bd753c1c as if possessed.e19d77b0dc64a56b

I walked towards the fda082da8d window and leaned on 81ad0fba0c the railing, looking outside. In front of the 65ee499b4e main entrance, there was a7c9170b6f a large family carriage, ebad2e8f37 and Aslan was getting 4160bd3ab3 on the carriage.42c86e4768697ed1

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But there was 9f090169ec someone else inside 600170cb1e the carriage.e0192036d49bb4b3

Because I saw 6db996df98 a hint of d3406c256a red dress fluttering 2931bc6a40 through the carriage’s dc4820d27b open door, I 99ec685c6a could easily guess fee184aec8 that the person 606d821c81 inside the carriage d2d7216a54 was a woman 4d2b028cb6 wearing a red 20aa002624 dress.5f7d028844cf84a7

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“So, the promise he mentioned was a promise with Rosalyn.”1b3d4bd30e8c59a6

Bitterness lingered in my 4cc7f44087 mouth.595562d5b5dc7982

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Aslan, who bf0e44c91d was fulfilling b2cb7db0fd his promise 72ef030748 with her, a63f56b48a left me b6435f421d behind to c13ad5c6c0 keep his 3804aad553 promise.14c91328a8c94ef4

I didn’t have to wait until tomorrow to find out what he really wanted.9698402211e198b9

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“Let’s leave.”0a330453a19625de

I walked out a4b287c48a of the office, d01d629999 slowly but steadily, af8c18bbce not staggering.01d414f7bb35df98

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All the way to my bedroom, I didn’t stop walking.7867a1cd58766386

It didn’t take me long to get ready to leave.e05011ca62010f2a

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There wasn’t much to pack in the first place. Because there wasn’t anything that truly belonged to me here.cdfbf39f363c2e5e

This dress, that necklace, 2686597a7a and this book. Everything I have ec3168c1b9 is a gift 4e64fd4642 from Aslan.ffe8430b22d663af

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I had been so undeserving of his care, and I didn’t want to be indebted to him when I am leaving his side.b391e092d6e4f9e3

I packed 5cafd2c0df only what 04394dfb41 truly belonged 44d33a24e3 to me. Although there are 0863a7769d so many things 34abcfec2b in the mansion, ea0cfaafae only a few 769695a798 truly belonged to e9ca6901df me and they 088f3ec5d9 all fit in 88392560fb just one bag.25f998cbbf8a685f

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“Pfft.”d7bab5722fd48846

A laugh escaped. It wasn’t because of my miserable appearance right now.52ec5ed57c42c17d

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It was because I 6b6075528f felt free, free of ec366e88e2 the lies and vanity 540cb912d0 that had surrounded me fae97df25f for so long.b5a46ec3608517d2

The weight 9e8687d8c8 that had 1450b6be97 been pressing 43e6be9a0d on me c1a85f174d all this a097bc69e5 time vanished, e5cbc1e2d1 and breathing f722a85912 became easier. How long has it 480073fe38 been since I felt 9880006910 such a light and 5c3d386e84 refreshing feeling?a7a6ae3c70eb990c

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I took a deep breath and lifted the bag. The journey ahead didn’t seem difficult.92732c65736f597a

“Oh, right.”4400aa0b04001da2

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Just before f46b431622 leaving the 5e3f9d2ad3 room, I 7e7cf7f1f8 remembered something e03868d601 I had d69761763d forgotten.1b3428cc221d977a

Even though it’s just leaving after the contract ends, I shouldn’t disappear without saying anything. Of course, from our conversation in the office earlier, he could guess that I left…8ab4a9ed7e62ac44

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But still, I should properly say goodbye so that he doesn’t worry about me suddenly disappearing.d213f6889b2f1381

I started writing cc4afce98a a letter to 0864deebc3 Aslan. I put c1343fbe45 effort into d97662d99b each letter, 34f42d0bda even if 3cb094d53c my handwriting ffd0661c56 is not 732e108904 as graceful 1160ef4b78 and beautiful 423f0d6f07 as his.29c913d3740eccb0

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After writing 0d76f9be9e a short 3d4700827b letter, I f571173281 wrote his 367b263169 name on 1162580cd0 the envelope.d6d10ed885333fe3

< To my dear Aslan. >28918dc55dd4efd0

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I hesitated and 6e856fb910 took out a f644132c7b new envelope.3f5b95173694a4f4

And I wrote again.dbe37541641cfb1d

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< To Duke Tordell.>83242faca3787883

At the bottom of the envelope, I wrote the sender’s name.9079a5ebeaa22942

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< From Helena Larestine, with gratitude .>3b9bc173138ab86d

I wrote Helena Larestine’s name instead of Lyla Violet because the name written in the contract was Helena. The person who wrote the letter was a woman who had become his wife through the contract and spent three years together.5d1c4824ed60b23f

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And the wife ff6eda1fd2 of Aslan Tordell 4eb36a0f0d is Helena Larestine, c5b1bf9bf3 not Lyla Violet.b6d1dff4eb057371

So, in 35f1f53813 a way, 75206a2305 I have 16d8cf1e93 never been 64fc887ae6 his wife.6a4f12c301798f2d

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“…Why am I lingering on this now?”a1adbdd6a0ab27cc

I finished my thoughts e37606fa22 and removed my finger, 5974501e3c which had been lightly 776b31b380 touching the names Aslan 2304bb5493 and Helena written on be6a04b910 the envelope.380fbb93a9f0da85

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I took out two more sheets of paper from the drawer. They weren’t for Aslan. I had already said everything I wanted to say to him in the previous letter.8aff8d2047b26bfc

This time, c282715495 I was 4e9d5a2415 going to ba1ed091ea write a 27f9dbbf62 letter to 1a80015180 Jenna and 814508e043 Dalton.5e82d1ed091b204c

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Even though I don’t know other people, I felt like I should say my final farewell to Jenna and Dalton. Only to the two kind and gentle people who treated me sincerely while I was here.91c64f0a1b4863a6

I couldn’t explain the complicated situation by meeting them face to face and having a conversation. So, as a coward, I decided to do it through letters instead.cfbe2182d70bc336

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But I hope that 5851ee1c7f this would  convey my 9f0aa18a63 feelings.41b57b11ad07dca7

Inwardly justifying myself, ecb0496db9 I put the eb988caac8 written letters into 3db31ab2ca the envelope.229af378f3be87a5

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I placed them in a conspicuous place so that they could be easily found and pressed a book on the corner so that they wouldn’t fly away with the wind.21004c625be17cfa

“Alright, it’s done.”93b895a572c5ce91

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I have finished a2f63ba5b8 everything I needed 129ae699fa to do here.2fcfe64fff73f4d2

All that’s left is to leave quietly without causing any commotion.7aa739e64ffd5623

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Some servants who ad88e56fa9 noticed me leaving 50f02fa20a alone glanced at 8292836e0a me strangely, but 8f2e9d9cd2 no one tried d0b5a014ff to stop me.7ae1ea8ba05c8c7d

Normally, I d597892d89 would have 982d8d8467 been hurt 1cfaddffc5 by their 91995dd96e indifference, but 64a1c5f04d now I 4bb9a83d25 felt strangely e4d3cbb906 at ease.b95fae4805669137

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I arrived at b0e9d78735 the train station 0b377b9d6f without any obstacles.202115bbb35eed43

I got c1cbae6eb8 off the 2532fc21e8 carriage that 81b38f5f6f I had a5dcd0f4a6 caught near 634feb4bba the Tordell bb71a46550 mansion and f557107150 entered the 644d9cbc7f train station.91f4e9ab1245fe00

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“Wow.”dc465830acaf3f6b

Unconsciously, I exclaimed at d618206a1a the sight before me.22d7293f1f9b354b

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No wonder, it 222a70a8b2 was my first 3ec8bec54f time coming to 94e1c6623a a train station.d1ad24323214ddef

In the past, when I was fourteen, I didn’t take the train when I came to the Central with count Larestine.86a803eaf406dd09

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[ T/N : It’s about the time when the count kidnapped Lyla from her family ]

The memories of that bf503dc280 time, when I traveled 4f57064f7c on a rough country 6c78ae2673 road for twelve days 67afc76c74 in a carriage, were 161f996c27 vague.8e5c3e2eee452c05

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Whenever I be8dedff96 opened my 7078cc5fb4 eyes, I 4d716bdc3a felt nauseous c5c6efb646 and kept 8868efdc26 sleeping, so 158a43e284 the only 6ad187e291 memory I 22ec46b158 had of 211ab2d83e the long 6998f69194 carriage journey 51c0433620 was the 6b611fbb15 hardship.5a8d1ea20fe87753

This time, based on my past experience, I chose the train instead of the carriage, but…7ead5b23a561746f

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The train station I fba7202269 saw this time in ad92dd8c35 my current life was 98c4babeaa completely different from the fb41096483 train station in my cacc1e3751 past life.1683da72a0b17b1b

The size of the 19225963c2 train station, the interior, d12059fb4c the appearance of the d27f14ee90 train, the people walking dd1059dc37 inside, the atmosphere inside, fa2d4fa7cb everything.09f6ae0f67133e5e

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I liked 9d7870658e the train f61b78f00e station in 77b3be60f5 this life 530f14f26d better.132ac0f9f55ae22b

“One ticket to Eres, please.”eca51b0eb6f5d24e

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I bought the ticket 683bfcd6c3 without hesitation. The destination a6d802f247 was a 94ee41162b port city 4c88b15c41 at the 471245f9e4 southern end, c1ab798567 where my 5d16dd1fe5 family was 491953dda7 currently staying.aa643f3cee698b08

Although it had e80a9aca81 been two years c03ad5486d since Aslan found 63db99f627 my family and 4ab0c49be3 arranged a new 53af4b1e6d home for them, 17bd2cc7d0 I had never 07ac95a50c visited them.e7137fea6d96982a

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It was because c476366e23 of guilt and 48c12aa42d fear.25e32ec67c1c0bcf

If it weren’t for me, my family would have lived peacefully. I felt sorry for the hardships they went through because of me.9eb7b826231712a5

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And I was scared. I was c0f97b3ca9 afraid they 8da8122d29 would resent 8ca451e0da me. I was afraid cb0800aa14 that because of 7604a56a83 me, their peaceful 2a402901f2 home had been 983b019a21 shattered. I was afraid of d5a61bc7da how my family would 9b262cafca feel.b6ba025a53cf46b0

So I only heard d4b5240072 news of my family 607f714e33 through Aslan and never fcf93b4baa made an attempt to 907b7be87e meet them.5f8ebfb450962826

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But…8ddbc311195ccefe

‘If I leave 29ba64f988 Tordell Manor, I 87643a511f will have nowhere 39f584d8b9 to go except d3325afc86 to be with 7caaeccda6 my family.’aad647dfdb4b9b7d

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I didn’t like my selfishness.7cc0d224fafd73c8

I felt tense just imagining how my family, whom I hadn’t seen in seven years, would react when they would see me.6553addfadc563c2

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However, when I 47217de81e actually arrived at 97a275ad6d the platform and 8ca52cf3b5 boarded the train, f0b6ed5728 my body felt 7489fbca83 light.63af6ecda7124659

It had been d593cb40b7 a long time 6d6ca16717 since I felt d7a24658df this good.ea27fb6f20249b2e

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Due to 55d70fd75a the exhausting 4b5791d530 life at 2f03f05d4c Count Larestine’s 16bf1b9368 manor, my 853f30ea87 health had eb48d50cc4 deteriorated significantly, b0b2962cb7 and I a171a893b1 had been 17995638ca living in 6b1a96285b pain every 34dabfc24e day at ffd4a60360 Tordell manor.d9cebd00e576d077

But now, I didn’t have the recurring headaches that used to torment me, and my limbs, which had felt heavy as if weighed down, were light. My body didn’t tremble as if I had caught a cold.4b11beafc15c51d4

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‘It’s strange.’cceb4139043a337d

Did my db8d2d653e body become d4e1cc40b7 comfortable because 67289d8393 my mind 6c0707b455 is at a67eece346 ease?126c87307e257164

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With a pleasant sense 9ea243c1ea of wonder, I looked c9f71c3441 around and found my 470f7f00a8 seat as indicated on d452a31852 the ticket.53bb9fc999c3b36c

“Phew.”ac9e68cdcbd7758b

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I entered the empty 1e62b01339 compartment, put my luggage e431f734df down, and sat down.4cbb83f453713731

Even though it hadn’t even been half a day, I was already tired.62908262d2d0cd64

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‘There have been 9af6a1f916 so many things de216b7dd4 happening.’dacad3578307328d

As I 57bd0a159b massaged my 793115a896 tired legs, 30e58b7d34 the train c8ba3e9857 started moving 67c6528557 with a 89059427a3 loud miraculous b167b9de3c sound.8db7c9114b57c800

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As I watched 5c158e5318 the quickly disappearing 174874ed3f scenery outside the 0f27d43bd9 window, I realized e4a9fb792e that I was 7066006c7a truly leaving the cce61c6d50 capital.572a7dbd553715a0

“Goodbye.”26abe28b09475f3f

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I said farewell to 440b604d7d the people who would 3d110543cf be there.26103d1b8846e885

Thinking about the 50b2f8823a people I would 73db09c81b never see again 7b0736e716 made me feel a693b3552d a bit down, 667c98c08d but when I a64d30aa80 thought about leaving f34ee545c6 Central, which was 78bf4b1e89 filled with painful 3e568fd624 memories, my heart 80c5ccb937 felt light.e068071c9344b86e

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“Goodbye for real.”b148e74a3ee4d002

Tall and low buildings 73444c38a2 disappeared, and wide fields 646b2e7638 appeared. Fluffy clouds floated in f83bfd5ff0 the blue sky.53197b257a85f255

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“The weather is nice.”0eb3059cd0a19246

As I d5d462ed9f rested my bae2540c57 chin on 19bce60f6f my hand f8105e957b and absentmindedly 61f3aa9cde stared outside, 3bcc212506 a natural 95f921540d smile formed b32957de08 on my 657bbc3040 face.0aa67c531a2d5f52

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It was a 1f180ebabb smile filled with 90aa8d12fe abundant joy and be0dc8a049 happiness, regained after a2504d0713 losing it for 07c5e89a71 a long time.59524427dfc2137b