WYIL Ch 29

He glanced down e763e751f9 at the watch bb4c33b062 on his wrist, d7faf1a7b3 checked the time, 3f8fcff2f8 and gave me b562916fc0 an embarrassed look.8b210d5242194753

“I’m sorry, wife, but I have an urgent appointment, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it. Can we talk another time?”29ce1b9a0be8b8ae

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I wondered what the appointment was. Before, I’d assumed it was just business, but now I had an oddly clear image of a woman’s face.7d0a0823018a0373

Was he 90ae081a88 going to 0bf1ba4f5e see Rosalyn 56b86beb0a again?8535e0695da10036

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My heart throbbed, 605e3c2757 my chest ached.298fae657a39b753

I wasn’t used to his rejection.888fb5b54c559f6b

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No matter how busy 84be0e375b he was, he always a4019caa8e made time for me, d5ad048ee5 saying it was a d0045c88e5 courtesy to his wife, 6eb5412c43 and he was always ce77f5ebe5 true to his word.66c51d3684be38b9

But now…….238f36d8eeecbf93

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‘You look troubled.’225612c1fd0f8811

He says he has 30741d77ac an appointment, but a 576bbb45c5 few minutes of his 5d6291b89b time would be fine.53fbf6eaff41fac8

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But he’s deliberately sending me away because he doesn’t want to be in the same room as me.7c63ab18614f8ed9

He’s avoiding me. As he has for the past month.be5d62815373e761

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I knew why.a181e3097033ac54

I came on purpose 31c1154a73 because I knew it. To do what 2c39a08908 I have to fbd745b95b do, even if 822342b5fb I have to 2c0e9b09aa endure the immediate 3dba1c3db0 misery.97cdef74a6972c70

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So he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of avoiding me anymore.cda57d749df0b2d8

“I won’t keep you long, so just give me a few minutes.”32c3ab7abe27fd42

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I repeat my request, 391664e720 and Aslan nods slowly. My heart sank 5451ecf768 again at his fc3bfac242 reluctant permission.ae876ac13ea2925d

I forced myself to dfe5cc93e6 smile. I wanted to leave 29ed3b42d8 with a smile on 4ead4d8245 my face, not a 0d65fa8720 stony face.1daabe54893da5ba

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“Aslan.”dc282f1b7deeaaf8

“Yes.”e286c455130063c3

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I took a moment d41f66e2fd to choose my words.9a83f74c4899e2ce

There was 87d271f0fc just one b6f9739ede thing I 25caf4176a wanted to 5788c80ca6 ask before 8b697e6203 I got fc49143ae6 down to 11fd377c49 business.ad75881381691074

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“Three days ago, were you busy that day?”34f2baf9d32583f0

“Three days ago?”79b777c4544acb49

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He raised an bc42236b35 eyebrow as if 770cfdad0c to ask why 02ed9294f8 I was asking f7a003145b this.ed3017bfcabb3a90

‘Yeah. Three days ago.’06c9626d2903cfff

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He frowned again, then 039ab6858e closed his eyes for 89caa8675e a moment. It was b522af916c like he e2f961d30d was trying 58c051ace1 to remember 576c9bd8da the day.152888f1b992d162

The day I was referring to was ‘my’ birthday, the day I’d waited all day for him.66461f32098f86c6

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The day he’d gotten out of the carriage with Rosalyn, the day I’d lost sleep in anticipation of Aslan’s late arrival.3de2ac05e3d6ce8d

In truth, 6d6ef05f36 there were 252d8a453f many questions e47d2fecbf I wanted bfeff1b991 to ask.82f465458b43ae61

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There were things 231155df10 I wanted to c62564c334 know more than 50ab57b965 what happened that 86548d3a8e day. His kiss with Rosalyn, 7d94c9a75e when did his relationship 92d7d43a42 with her started, what d3525c03fc does he want to 5f6ebea921 do in the future, f420f3aa10 and many more.9d5270d9e3f2f99c

I wondered about those things, but I didn’t ask.5f6861d7f04adf76

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I was scared.396ef77116cb1719

They were things……I wanted to know but didn’t have the confidence to listen. I was afraid.6df074a7fd9dea12

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Nevertheless, I asked him 3352ba2227 what had happened three 6354e2a520 days ago, as if 583fb6c3f5 only knowing what had ff662b92cf happened that day would 6d0c3067e6 make the stabbing in 4ae8c30858 my heart go away.f426e90936cee52d

After a 50e144aec7 long silence, a8033ca67b he spoke.db776ee54ed091ac

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“Nothing much happened.”72c13d9eb2d14c65

“……Is that so?”137ac19dafbc0464

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“Yes, but why are you asking that?”a93386c3fc104ad8

He really didn’t seem to know anything. He didn’t seem to remember anything.021f4c9823b2ec7c

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Sadly.6121c6a4bc9b8d7d

[So are you saying that today is your real birthday, then what about the one you put on the paperwork?]

[That’s not ‘my’ birthday].

[I didn’t know that].

[No one would know. No one.]

You’re the one who said something I didn’t want to hear.fae007de1390c922

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[In the future, I’ll remember and celebrate with you, so now don’t be alone and lonely anymore].

I’d rather you didn’t say that.68ff59c1fce32d28

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Why were you 45a57982c1 so nice to afb6b8cedb me and made 39125ac197 me look forward 90a29a02a2 to it?65ba7318191f78ee

If you 4307b46cea were going 37b3341287 to forget 401e134bea it like 9e4029846b this.ba43ca504c3fe707

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If you were going 1c5dd08395 to make me cherish 90ee741f12 it alone, expect it 398034cfdd alone, and grieve it a8569b259d alone.d76499db8919376e

“It’s nothing.”787610b283b8e295

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He looked unhappy a062d73159 by my dry 3c3780e246 answer.d8ca830ca4193c09

Before he could probe 68577cfc3d further, I raised my ad828914e3 hand to stop him.04fce14b29e7eeed

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“I’m here to talk about our contract.”f6f20f4be8056221

“The contract, you mean?”0487fbe961d8d370

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“Yes. Our marriage contract.”e7bc9b802abba0c0

I tried to sound as grave as possible. My voice quivered slightly, but thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. I was so glad.9f6ca91a6d85cdbd

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“You remember, don’t you? The contract we wrote before we got married.”1b4902e0e46aedc6

“I remember.”dfa814edd4338f78

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“Then of course you remember the contents of it, right?”237bce5a8e8b794c

He nodded, b1060cfd41 then suddenly f3f1da3340 stopped moving 05f146bbc1 and stared bd3afda32b at me.6291141cda925a29

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I smiled brightly. The corners of my mouth quivered, but I didn’t let that stop my forced smile.9a5f8107da96bcfc

I wanted to look at least okay, I didn’t want to be a gaunt figure in his last memory of me.06f9b3fa9ee229c1

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So I 707442f764 steadied my 21e2f85339 trembling and 5bd1e8598a spoke in b12e0f8824 a calm, 0a0f9bc508 clear voice.b85f8d42f6fd0565

“This contract shall be terminated in three years, on the day Helena Larestine turns twenty-one.”6036e118cd39b1b2

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Three days ago was my birthday, and today is “Helena Larestine’s” birthday.a7a21a2221fc0815

Helena Larestin, who 15343fad13 is the same bc55dbb5ae age as me, 6fa439cff2 turned twenty-one years 3cc105e3ac old today.bbac8deb6d332ee7

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So the contract …….0068e1552355b415

“The contract is over, and so is our marriage.”b41512a03c15600c

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……is over.7273540b245699a5

He stiffened as if 2abcdd3950 in shock at my a80574f753 words.93fd966528d820bc

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“Thank you for everything, Duke.”f753c49e354916c7

I bowed, calling him by his title that I hadn’t used since our marriage.fa7baeca8c4887d5

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“…….”d85481603b7c2778

A stifling silence lingered 53c0f1e1cb in the office.1f9c9e3277ec2b51

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I wondered what expression 578a0f83d4 he must be wearing ef6adc3a15 right now.3955e80c5a9d6e2b

Is he happy that the moment he’s been waiting for has arrived, or is he relieved that I spoke first?ed6ae92415f7d2e9

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……I hope he’s a little disappointed.51ce527a3c2745cc

If not, I hope he’ll be businesslike and not show any emotion.f06419fddbb5580d

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Because if he’s happy that I’m leaving, it’s going to break my already broken heart.df1433705909e1f9

“…….”5d01264adefa7234

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The silence 9138b823aa was getting f1ee163d4c too long. I lifted 1daab7f95f my head 83d551520d impatiently.d6907dad2571fe9d

“……?”e2fdf038ffac8026

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I was stunned by the unexpected look on Aslan’s face.e90c81d2118cf452

Aslan Tordell, the man d68271a8e6 who had once been a88016720e my husband, the man 761d8391ee I still loved, was 0e53d26c5f staring at me helplessly.75bd61f1b5c74e19

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Like a child who 32beb08a85 has lost its mother, 4e6eae0565 like a man whose 60f15f6133 world has collapsed.a108f7f126c51921

‘Why does he look like that?’5eddafeca8116019

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At first, I wondered 73d9878f61 if I was looking 52c07c0475 at the wrong person.32de43c73e779612

The Aslan who acted like he’d lost his world when I left existed only in my head.45b474088a278cf0

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The real Aslan, I thought, would be a little wistful, but then he’d turn and see me off.064882823d3cea91

I closed my eyes eaedbd05da several times and opened a10c535d95 them.bd83b8117326b6af

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Aslan was still staring fb2698973b at me, mesmerized.d9d5af7d3bfe3a91

“Aslan?”c8381a7acd77985c

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I called out 9b794b7720 softly, and Aslan dbac17d8a9 quickly covered his 0c0f260168 face with his a10b46da14 hands.da2722b13573cd3f

Most of his 26e7f54765 face was hidden a077b73745 under his large f40adb3355 hand. However, he fe3f51646a could not 9b3f62f655 hide his 561d95e5b1 firm mouth 18a43d12b8 and veins.13c7a8f576d56f59

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‘Why are you doing this?’15016e62eead4d55

I couldn’t help but wonder at his repeatedly uncharacteristic behavior.32f8e4f286004fd5

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But I couldn’t ask Aslan what he was thinking as he swept a dry hand across his face.e73aa71442500153

“Ha.”be0f0dd3d3117eb9

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He sighed, 9daead8072 and a 1f8de1a216 moment later, 543dd8ebe4 he lowered a65a1ef122 his hand, 8ccc173f3c his face de226ff1f1 as plain 3ebc7f0ede as ever.06769e1d9439280a

I thought to myself, ‘It’s Aslan, after all.’ I was disappointed.e2dae15839431abd

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I also wanted to break his heart a little, I know it was a mean thought, but still…04a24b0915a48a66

Aslan began e9512d5ee8 to speak, 1f0a3d4299 so I 8b6c2fe619 cleared my 32d1674d7d head of 4fe21c5d62 the thoughts 168f2fe871 and focused 3abdcdf29f on him.3451beba3e65ac44

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“Wait, wait, wait, wife. What does this mean all of a sudden?”636a62696de9feea

He spoke 2c9b35c9eb quickly and 43276e1de2 seemed uncharacteristically 635e6d4e41 slow.7669349f85665b25

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“Have I done something wrong, or have you been unhappy with your stay here, or is there something you don’t like about…….”6c38b83789c5e75b

“No.”9633464216060d60

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I shook my head.a2cdd02377b8add9

There was 94d57e0962 no such 2a38234f3d thing. I was always 0c838e0b3b just grateful and 079cc0f189 sorry for him.516335a72a31a79a

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I’ve taken so much from him, and there’s nothing I can offer him.fbe0ac872c3fb12e

I’ve done him more harm than good just by being around him.17c174f2304fd9f4

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Even if I wanted 642146d9f0 to repay him, I 441781e904 would never be able 55657e9468 to do so.257f583101e44249

“But why? Why are you doing this?”2ee9cd09bfc7e649

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When he 5c33588465 asked me cab8de7696 why, I 20ee65bcbc tried to 2c91552cde shrug it 1f1d592d6b off.bf139282b1ab6534

But then I f5a5b5e993 said something impulsive.4ce8d270e7e9bb50

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“Actually, I overheard your conversation with Ms. Rosalyn.”15854de738e8cc14

“What…… do you mean?”d825488324662606

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I was embarrassed to admit my eavesdropping, but once I spoke, I couldn’t stop myself.baf4d1e5f5697768

“That you told, Miss Rosalyn, that you didn’t marry me because you were in love with me.”c6515ec2a66c9faf

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“……!”57fe1ba2f407e5fc

“You only entered into a contract marriage with me out of necessity.”01b8339e92625622

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“…….”774a70f9278b1e18

“You said you didn’t think it would last this long, that it bothered you.”6586b9fcd42c9fb5

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I choked up as e1af0a76eb I spoke.c3fc320c3cc43b0c

I bit my lip 8c2b307a96 and glared at him.6df565e44cb95dae

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I could see Aslan’s hand trembling with embarrassment.d09429cbf6190715

But I wouldn’t take his hand.8f40c4ae5d917920

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I don’t know about anything else, but for that conversation, he was too much.fa0e55a564945a0d

No matter how much he hated being with me, he shouldn’t have talked about me like that.29625ff4a1b21cc1

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Don’t express your feelings to others.5240d29909c30fc5

The string of thoughts made me nauseous, and I blurted out what I’d been trying so hard to hide.977fe08b87fcd983

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“I’m sorry I’ve been bothering you. Please be happy with her.”782b72dd8615a623

The way I cf7b94a3c9 spoke was calm, 3b9197798b but the content f9dfa69b10 was sharp.b89f878c08b57291

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It was the first time I’d ever said anything offensive to Aslan in this way. His eyes widened in surprise, like he’d been struck by lightning.ea54956bba25f95e